I looked first to see if maybe there was a category under sexual abuse and didnt find one so I thought here would be okay.
Anyway two weeks ago my 6 and 8 year old daughters told me that their father was touching them in their "privates". So of course I contacted social services and got them interviewed and found out that it was worst than they had told me. To totally destroy me, today after being interviewed at a child advocacy center I found out that it has been going on a lot longer than they had originally mentioned. I was originally told since November, thats when the animal got his own place but it was going on for about a year when we were living together. While I was in the damn house he was touching my babies. Finding that out made it so much worst at first I just blamed him since I wasn't there to protect them but now I totally blame myself since it started when I was there when I was in the house, how could I not know this was happening how could I allow this.
I am setting up counseling for the girls tomorrow so they can start getting their young lives back to normal.
I am totally a wreck in a matter of two weeks my life has been shattered I thought my girls were protected and safe but I was so wrong and I have no idea if he has done anything to my now 19 month old. My poor sweet little girls lives have been dramatically changed and I can't do anything about it.

I guess Im posting this to find out if there is anyone else on this board that has gone through this or is going through this I really need someone in the same situation to talk to. I know that there are support groups I was told of the one they have the center I went to today but Im not ready to talk about this in front of people Im way to emotional right now I wont be able to handle it.
Thank You, Robyn

I'm a father of two. One boy and one girl. I have not gone through what you are going through, but I can say I'm really sad to hear this. People can be sick. Very sick. Even if it's someone you know. (Your husband) It makes me angry and discusted that someone would do that to a child, but for a dad to do that to their own daughter.......

One persons actions can have defestating effects on so many different people. I'm really sorry that your girls, and you have to of gone through all of this. I don't know what I would do in your circumstances. I'm not sure if your religious or not, but I will pray for you and your family.

-Father of Two-

Well thank you so much I really appreciate your prayers I am a very religious person and have spent a lot of time praying.
I feel the same way I don't understand how anyone could do this to a child but their own child that just disturbs me. He actually admitted to me during a recorded phone call at the police station last week, that he touched Ashley because he was lonely and it was convenient it took everything I had to remain calm and not just breakdown, because the detective assigned to my case was listening on her head set. Then he had the nerve to beg me not to go the police and to forgive him. He was concerned only about going to jail and started threatening to kill himself I so badly wanted to tell him thats exactly what he should do but again the detective was listening. The only sort term gratification I got was on Friday when I got the enjoyment of watching him get arrested in the middle of a full court room when an emergency restraining order was made permanent. I know it probably won't happen but that animal deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life and get beat everyday.

oh robyn, i am so sorry for what you and your children are going through! I have not had any experiance with your situation but just wanted to say that i too hope {removed} he gets whats comming to him. I know it must be hard but try not to blame yourself for not knowing this was happening under your roof.. people that can do that to innosent children im sure are very good at covering themselves and its certainly not something you would imagine a father doing! you are a fantastic mum i bet, you did the right thing, your kids came to you, you listened and then you acted in the best intrests of your kids. you are a good mum! your kids felt able to come to you and will continue to need you while they get thru this, you keep strong your doing a good job. i hope if there are others out there going thru the same thing, that they see this and can help you out a little..i really feel for you and your children and hope you get the support you need.. take care robyn, i too will be praying for you and your family :)

Robyn
It's truly unfortunate what has befallen you and your children. I have known several adult women molested as children and they are well adjusted, mature adults. They are also in the social service field, perhaps not surprising. I will say this, from what my friends have said - your children will recover and lead normal lives. Counseling will be very important for them and the counseling will need to be on and off for many years. Here's what happens, there are cycles. You may find your kids are fine for years and then start having trouble with sexuality issues in their early teens even though they'd been fine for years prior. Whenever such sexual issues arise in their life, they should go to counseling. Again the issues may arise in their mid early or mid twenties, even though in their later teens, things seemed to be fine. They need to go to counseling, again. Whenever troubling issues about sexuality comes up, they should go to counseling. When they are old enough, they may be interested in reading about adults molested as children - there are some good books about it.

A good counselor, one especially trained to work with children victims of sexual abuse, will know how best to work with your kids at this age.

I too am very sorry to hear this has happened to your daughters. I lived with a woman who had been abused by her father and know something of the hurt such behavious causes.
I had a friend who was a survivor of terrible abuse from his mother and was a psychologist who helped other abuse survivors. He told me it was extremely important that when a child complained of abuse that adults supported them and took steps to make the abuse stop. What you have done is the best possible thing to minimise the effects and make your girls feel loved and cared for. Be proud of what you have done to protect them. These people are very cunning and extremely good actors. You can't be blamed for not realising what he was up to. It's him who was to blame not you.
I hope things improve for you and your girls soon,
Geoff

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to your little girls. I am a "survivor" of childhood molestation. My stepfather molested me for 8 years and my mother never knew. She completely beat herself up once she finally found out. It wasn't her fault that it happened, anymore than it's your fault. My stepfather and their father are sick men and I agree they should only be so lucky to rot in jail and be beaten on a regular basis.

I like to believe that I am a well functioning citizen of society despite all that I've been through. Sure I have some problems here and there but I'm now married to a wonderful man, I have 2 little boys who I absolutely adore and would protect to the ends of the earth, and a stable job that I love. So get them some help now because I'm sure they need someone to talk to about it all, but don't worry they will be fine as time goes on, and so will you. Good luck!

Robyn, your girls are going to be fine! Most survivors of sexual abuse don't tell or if they do, their mothers don't believe them or protect them, it goes on and on and they don't get counseling. Your girls told you and you acted and now they are getting help. They will be okay now. Like Firenice said, just get counseling as needed. Many of us got dealt a bad hand but if the person works through it they can be a better person than they would have been otherwise. I am so sorry that this happened. I think that what does the most harm is when issues such as these are not dealt with. The denial and not dealing with the grief is what causes the distress. Humans are tough and with help and understanding and communication a person can overcome anything and have a lot more character afterwards. Keep venting here if it helps you deal with this, okay?

Good for you Robyn! You said you can't do anything to help but you are.

#1 you believed your precious children. So many people don't or just want to deny it. You believed them immediately. Good for you!

#2 you are getting them into counselling immediately! They will need that. Good for you!

#3 you had {removed} him arrested!!! Good for you!

I'm praying for you and your kids. You are in a nightmare right now but your kids can recover with proper counselling and lots of love from you. I hope you can get into counselling as well. Maybe not a group thing but one-on-one counselling.

I am so sorry to hear about your babies.

[QUOTE=hjjasnell;2783648]I am a "survivor" of childhood molestation. My stepfather molested me for 8 years and my mother never knew. She completely beat herself up once she finally found out. It wasn't her fault that it happened, anymore than it's your fault. My stepfather and their father are sick men and I agree they should only be so lucky to rot in jail and be beaten on a regular basis.

Wow! I could have written this post. I am also a "survivor" after 8 years by my stepfather. I live a normal life with my two boys and wonderful husband. My mom is much more affected by it 15 years later than I am. They will work past it and you need to too. While you get help for them you should also get it for yourself so you don't beat yourself up over it long past the time they worry about it.

Good luck. You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers.

Robyn-
Sweetie, I am so, SO sorry this happened to your baby girls and to you. This is a terrible thing to happen to a child, especially by the man that is their "dad".

I just want you to know that you did nothing wrong at all. You are doing everything right. As soon as your daughters told you, you informed social services and have made arrangements for counseling for your girls and are now doing everything in your power to ensure that your babies have the help they need to work through this and hopefully move beyond it and regain their precious youth. I definitely recommend counseling for you as well. If you aren't comfortable at this point with going to a support group, then please have counseling on a one on one basis with a counselor, as well as join in with counseling with your girls and their counselor.

Please do not allow yourself to feel guilty or that this is in any way your fault. It's not your fault and you are not guilty of anyhting. Had you had any kind of idea that man was doing this you would have taken action immediately. I understand you feel guilty, but really, please try to realize again that there is nothing for you to feel guilty about.

Your daughters know that you love them and want to protect them and this is why they trusted you with this terrible information. It shows that they feel secure in the fact that mom is there to protect them. They are also secure enough with themselves that they were able to speak out against what he was doing to them. They are smart young ladies and they knew what happened was wrong and that they needed to put an end to it. I think they are very brave. As someone else mentioned, many sexual abuse victims don't tell anyone. And also as someone mentioned, there are numerous moms who wouldn't have believed their daughters. You took immediate action. You are a wonderful mom Robyn.

Just know that you are doing all the right things to help your daughters through this. This will take some time for all of you. Just be patient, be vigilant and be strong. All of you will make it through this together.

I'm sending prayers for peace, comfort, strength, acceptance and resolution your way!

I am so sorry for what your children and you are going through. There are so many sick people in the world. The last person you would even think you would have to protect them from is their own father.

Please don't blame yourself. You are not responsible for that monster's actions. I'm sure he did his best to hide it from you. You are not to blame.

Counceling is not only a good idea for your children, but I think you should go yourself. You need to find a way to deal with your own emotions and guilt to be able to be strong for them. They need you now more than ever.

I will have you and your family in prayers.

omg!!! I was molested as a child, not only by my father, but 4 other close friends of my parents up until I was 12. I told my mother everytime. she devorced my father when I was 2, and all the others were "taken care of" and never seen by our family again. but it IS still something I struggle with. My husband and I have been together for 8 years. I couldn't actually make love to him until almost 6 months (1 1/2 years that we'd been together)after we got married, I just kinda went with it. I had to tear down my trust issues, and i finally realized he is the one i can trust. I went through alot of counsiling. i feel so bad for your girls but im so very glad that you listened to them. this is not your fault. dont ever think it is!!! y9ur girls love and trust you or they wouldnt have said anything. feel great that you have 2 very smart kids and they will look to you for all the answers in life. be proud of them and feel luck to have their trust. you must be an awesome mommy!!! and good luck with getting your sob husband put away for the rest of his life. i really am rooting for you.

Robyn,

I am so sorry to hear about you and your daughters' ordeal.
I just had to reply to this post to let you know that I have an idea of what you must be going through.

Very recently (Feb.2) I caught my 15 nephew molesting my 3 yr old daughter in my own bed!!
I was horrified and still am.
I went "wild" and attacked him and gave him a good beating.
I even went so far as to admit to police about the beating and told them to arrest me if they had to but that I was not sorry about it.

Well I was told due to the circumstances, there would be no charges brought against me.

Anyway, I am still going through so many emotions as this was quite recent and my emotions are all over the place. For the first week nothing in my life "felt" right anymore and sometimes felt like I was losing my mind.

I am still trying to deal with it and honestly I think I am having a harder time with it than my daugther is. Actually she seems to have forgotten the episode and does not mention it anymore. She is very happy again and for that I am grateful.

I dont sleep well anymore and find myself sitting up till all hours of the night.
If you would like to talk I would be more than willing to listen as I also wish to talk to someone "anonymous".

Do let me know if you are interested and we can go from there!

Take care and best of luck to you and your girls!!

Albertagirl, you are probably correct in that your daughter has moved on and you haven't yet. I can not imagine what would be going through my mind if this happened to my daughter.

im so sorry to hear about this i also cannot believe how somebody could do this, and your children are so brave for telling you, as alot of children dont have the guts to talk out, i am also praying for you and your family and i hope that the counselling will at least make things abit better for you as i know none of you will ever forget this but it will help

Hey... i don't know how you feel, but i know how your daughters feel. The same thing happened to me when i was 8 and aswell as getting help, as hard as it seems you need to bring in a manly figure that you can trust into their lives as soon as possible. Their feelings and views towards men is distorted by their father, so they need to know what a real father and man is because they base their perception of men on their father. I struggled so much in my relationships because my trust was broken, and it took alot to build it up again. They need to know that not all men are like their father.

Just know that you are not to blame for anything and all you can do now is love and be there for your daughters. And eventually you need to forgive him for what he has done or it will destroy you (it nearly destroyed me). Believe me, i watched how my mother's hate killed her and you don't want that for yourself or your daughters.

Good luck. It won't be easy, but you'll get through it and remember that you are not alone.