hergy
02-07-2007, 12:18 AM
I'm having a bit more anxiety about that than I expected.
I've even been thinking about cancelling. I shouldn't, so I haven't. I know this is probably much worse in my head. I've been having those stupid vaginal freak-outs (vaginismus).
I'm sure I'm not the first freaked out patient the gynecologist has ever had. The 19th seems to be closing in fast. I hate this so much. So much.
I've even been thinking about cancelling. I shouldn't, so I haven't. I know this is probably much worse in my head. I've been having those stupid vaginal freak-outs (vaginismus).
I'm sure I'm not the first freaked out patient the gynecologist has ever had. The 19th seems to be closing in fast. I hate this so much. So much.
Sponsor
Lost_in_Time
02-07-2007, 02:32 AM
I'm sorry to hear, red five, that the anxiety is growing as the time grows closer. Please don't cancel. Remember what you told me on some other thread. That we are all entitled to good health and we have to do what we have to do. Remember that you have people here who are going to be with you holding your hands and one outside the door giving you strength. You can do it!!!! Don't cancel. Just think that if you cancel, you'll have wasted all this worry over nothing and you'll just have to worry all over again when you do have to have it done. I'm soooooo proud of you for doing this, even when you don't want to do it, ESPECIALLY when you don't want to do it. Maybe it will give me the courage to do it sometime, too. The past few days have made me want to have everything cut out so I can have a life.
Hang in there...YOu can do it...and so many are here to help you through it.
Hang in there...YOu can do it...and so many are here to help you through it.
Phoenix
02-07-2007, 05:50 AM
I'm having a bit more anxiety about that than I expected.
I've even been thinking about cancelling. I shouldn't, so I haven't. I know this is probably much worse in my head. I've been having those stupid vaginal freak-outs (vaginismus).
I'm sure I'm not the first freaked out patient the gynecologist has ever had. The 19th seems to be closing in fast. I hate this so much. So much.
Nikki,
What are you afraid of specifically ? (think about it)
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I've even been thinking about cancelling. I shouldn't, so I haven't. I know this is probably much worse in my head. I've been having those stupid vaginal freak-outs (vaginismus).
I'm sure I'm not the first freaked out patient the gynecologist has ever had. The 19th seems to be closing in fast. I hate this so much. So much.
Nikki,
What are you afraid of specifically ? (think about it)
Take care
God Bless
FTM
duzford
02-07-2007, 05:58 AM
Ask the doctor is you could talkto him/her first in their office before you go into the exam room. Tell them how you are feeling and they can help put you at ease. If this is your first time with this doc and there are others in the practice, ask the front desk who is the most "gentle". When you go for the appointment bring your favorite stuffed animal with you to "hug" during the exam. I was in your boat too. I went five years between exams because I am a rape survivor and the first doc was so clinical I fel violated all over again. I talked to my PCP about this and he shared it with his staff (females and rape counselors) who found me someone in the area to go to. They even "filled her in" ahead of time. If you are too anxious perhaps they can give you a mild sedative.
stick2013
02-07-2007, 08:39 AM
Dearest Nikki,
Hi sweetie....It's ok to be nervous, it's even ok to be scared. If you weren't I would worry......Everyone's advice has been great. We will all be with you, FTM will be singing "Lean on me" right outside the door, and I think that 2plus is right. Call ahead(Like today) tell them your concerns, and they may be ble to call you in a zanax before the exam to calm you down a little. After this one, things will get better........
Remember you are at a higher risk of cancer....I already had cervical cancer so I go faithfully every year. The first 2 years I had to go every 3 months.... This is part of your recovery Nikki.......
I love you sweetie, and I will be with you, as will ICC and FTM.... Just close your eyes, and think of us, we will be there....
Love you bunches,
Big squishy hugs....LOTS of them
Sid
Hi sweetie....It's ok to be nervous, it's even ok to be scared. If you weren't I would worry......Everyone's advice has been great. We will all be with you, FTM will be singing "Lean on me" right outside the door, and I think that 2plus is right. Call ahead(Like today) tell them your concerns, and they may be ble to call you in a zanax before the exam to calm you down a little. After this one, things will get better........
Remember you are at a higher risk of cancer....I already had cervical cancer so I go faithfully every year. The first 2 years I had to go every 3 months.... This is part of your recovery Nikki.......
I love you sweetie, and I will be with you, as will ICC and FTM.... Just close your eyes, and think of us, we will be there....
Love you bunches,
Big squishy hugs....LOTS of them
Sid
ICC
02-07-2007, 09:13 AM
Dear Nikki------First I have to agree with LIT:) if you cancel you will set yourself up for more anxiety while you wait for the next appt. this is the time to get it over with. Zplus is also right in being honest with the staff. there will be a nurse in the room with you. it's the law. I read recently that if you put a small "safety" item ( small stuffed animal, rabbit's foot etc) whatever can comfort you that you can just sqeeze or touch is a big help in anxious situations. Please know that we will all be there for you. Sid and I will hold you hand and FTM will be singing and waiting patiently. Hopefully we won't be bailing him out :jester: we are here for you to talk as much as you need to.
Love,
Grasshopper
Love,
Grasshopper
hergy
02-07-2007, 11:20 PM
Thanks, all of you.:wave:
I had my regular doctor's appointment today to follow up on my rotator cuff injury. He checked on how I was doing about the exam. He's very kind.:) He referred me to a female gynecologist he trusts and told me weeks ago that he'd fill her in on my situation. I think holding something in my hand will be helpful.
FTM, in answer to your question, I'll be lying exactly as I was when I was 4. With memories at the forefront right now, my fear, this time, is no mystery to me. It just shrinks me into a tiny speck of fright.
By the way, I'm having an MRI on my shoulder Saturday. The doctor made some icky faces after checking on my shoulder and feeling and hearing its cracklies. He said surgery's probably unavoidable at this point.:mad: He did comfort me with explaining that it could be done laproscopically with three incisions.
I also went to the eye doctor today and will be getting glasses.:(
I also got a speeding ticket. I was running late for my eye appointment. I have a court date in April. That was the worst part of my day.
Thanks so much for the support, guys. I so want to cancel. But I'm staying away from the phone. If I have to, I'll do that pretending I'm somewhere else thing.
Love,
Nikki
I had my regular doctor's appointment today to follow up on my rotator cuff injury. He checked on how I was doing about the exam. He's very kind.:) He referred me to a female gynecologist he trusts and told me weeks ago that he'd fill her in on my situation. I think holding something in my hand will be helpful.
FTM, in answer to your question, I'll be lying exactly as I was when I was 4. With memories at the forefront right now, my fear, this time, is no mystery to me. It just shrinks me into a tiny speck of fright.
By the way, I'm having an MRI on my shoulder Saturday. The doctor made some icky faces after checking on my shoulder and feeling and hearing its cracklies. He said surgery's probably unavoidable at this point.:mad: He did comfort me with explaining that it could be done laproscopically with three incisions.
I also went to the eye doctor today and will be getting glasses.:(
I also got a speeding ticket. I was running late for my eye appointment. I have a court date in April. That was the worst part of my day.
Thanks so much for the support, guys. I so want to cancel. But I'm staying away from the phone. If I have to, I'll do that pretending I'm somewhere else thing.
Love,
Nikki
stick2013
02-08-2007, 06:10 AM
Dear Nikki,
SPEEDING........................:eek: :eek: :eek: EXCUSE ME!!!!!! But my middle name is SPEED...... I usually get away with it, without getting caught, but sometimes..... Well....... I love speed.... I know I am so BAD!!!!
Glad that for now you are not canceling the appointment. You really need to go through with this...... I also think that by going through with it, you will have less fear, and less self hatred. You may even come to realize that your body is beautiful, and needs some TLC from time to time.......
Hang in there hon.......Remember that we will all be with you, just close your eyes, and think of us all together. Think of love and happiness, and some of the silly things that we discuss. Me without my teeth would be a great place to start... NOT A PRETTY sight.....
Love you......
Big hugs, squishy ones too....
Sid
SPEEDING........................:eek: :eek: :eek: EXCUSE ME!!!!!! But my middle name is SPEED...... I usually get away with it, without getting caught, but sometimes..... Well....... I love speed.... I know I am so BAD!!!!
Glad that for now you are not canceling the appointment. You really need to go through with this...... I also think that by going through with it, you will have less fear, and less self hatred. You may even come to realize that your body is beautiful, and needs some TLC from time to time.......
Hang in there hon.......Remember that we will all be with you, just close your eyes, and think of us all together. Think of love and happiness, and some of the silly things that we discuss. Me without my teeth would be a great place to start... NOT A PRETTY sight.....
Love you......
Big hugs, squishy ones too....
Sid
ICC
02-08-2007, 08:15 AM
Nikki---really proud that you carried through on these appt. If the shoulder surgery will repair the damage I will wish you the best for a successful surgery and speedy recovery. OH NO! there's that word SPEED again. how did that sneak in? Sorry you got caught, glad you are safe. I wouldn't know a spped limit on any street in my area unless i looked so i guess i speed all the time. Alot of bobbing and weaving going on at times to. on the road and sometimes in my mind. Always had the excuse ready IF i got stopped. OK ladies i think we have to really try to stop living on the edge. Nikki, keeping something in my handbag that's important to me has helped me in many situations to just touch it very discreetly and it will bring me to a better frame of mind and lesson some of the anxiety. You will be fine and once this is over with you will have conquered one of your biggies. You may be anxious but I think we all are to some degree with this particular dr. Lay back and think of the crazy and funny things we have all said and done. let your mind leave your body for the few minutes it takes. You won't be alone.
Hugs,
Grasshopper
Hugs,
Grasshopper
hergy
02-08-2007, 07:45 PM
But my middle name is SPEED...
....You may even come to realize that your body is beautiful, and needs some TLC from time to time.......
Hang in there hon.......Remember that we will all be with you, just close your eyes, and think of us all together. Think of love and happiness, and some of the silly things that we discuss. Me without my teeth would be a great place to start... NOT A PRETTY sight.
:D The teeth thing is getting me through the evening, it may just get me through the exam. I didn't expect that one. You're a true friend.:)
Well, twin, my middle name is Speed, too. And it's down in black and white on my ticket.:rolleyes:
Thank you so much for the help. You're very comforting. I haven't even told my mom about the appointment. The thought of discussing that with her is difficult on so many levels.
I love you!
Nikki
....You may even come to realize that your body is beautiful, and needs some TLC from time to time.......
Hang in there hon.......Remember that we will all be with you, just close your eyes, and think of us all together. Think of love and happiness, and some of the silly things that we discuss. Me without my teeth would be a great place to start... NOT A PRETTY sight.
:D The teeth thing is getting me through the evening, it may just get me through the exam. I didn't expect that one. You're a true friend.:)
Well, twin, my middle name is Speed, too. And it's down in black and white on my ticket.:rolleyes:
Thank you so much for the help. You're very comforting. I haven't even told my mom about the appointment. The thought of discussing that with her is difficult on so many levels.
I love you!
Nikki
stick2013
02-08-2007, 09:19 PM
Dearest Nikki,
Did you really have to use this:D to remind me???????
You shouldn't feel uncomfortable about talking to your mother about this. You really don't need to go into detail. You are a 34 year old woman that has decided to have a pelvic exam......End of story!!!!! You don't need your mothers approval for something that is considered a necessity in todays society. Especially for someone that has already experienced cancer.
I am borrowing my "BAT" Thank you very much!!!! YOU are an adult. You have the body of an adult, the mind of an adult, and therefore need to act accordingly. Going to have a pelvic exam is an adult thing to do. Not sharing WHY to your mother, is YOUR decision as an ADULT!!!!!
Ok, I will now offer up the "BAT" to the next person that needs to use it.....
I love you....REMEMBER THAT!!!!!!!
Hugs,
Sid :D
Did you really have to use this:D to remind me???????
You shouldn't feel uncomfortable about talking to your mother about this. You really don't need to go into detail. You are a 34 year old woman that has decided to have a pelvic exam......End of story!!!!! You don't need your mothers approval for something that is considered a necessity in todays society. Especially for someone that has already experienced cancer.
I am borrowing my "BAT" Thank you very much!!!! YOU are an adult. You have the body of an adult, the mind of an adult, and therefore need to act accordingly. Going to have a pelvic exam is an adult thing to do. Not sharing WHY to your mother, is YOUR decision as an ADULT!!!!!
Ok, I will now offer up the "BAT" to the next person that needs to use it.....
I love you....REMEMBER THAT!!!!!!!
Hugs,
Sid :D
hergy
02-08-2007, 11:59 PM
You don't need your mothers approval for something that is considered a necessity in todays society.
It's not her approval I seek. All my life, discussing sexual matters, be they reproductive issues, marriage or otherwise, has caused me great discomfort.
I'm extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable with such matters. I only started being able to use my 'forbidden' words in my 20s, most of which still give me a cold sweat.
The problem was instilled by my mother and a group of boys, but it's my issue now. I direct no blame, I just have a crippling discomfort.
Opening up when I got breast cancer was a mountain to overcome. It was surreal and I had to pretend I was somewhere else when discussing it with her.
She never opened up about such things. I was well-prepared about puberty, educated by her about my body and such, but they were clinical discussions. The mind can create a world unlike the lives people live on the outside. My sexual world is private, connected with shame and embarassment. I'll work on that eventually in therapy. Right now, I'm doing my best.
Your comfort and support is wonderful. I will think of you in that exam room. You don't make me uncomfortable. I am forever grateful.
I love you, Cyber Mom!
Nikki
It's not her approval I seek. All my life, discussing sexual matters, be they reproductive issues, marriage or otherwise, has caused me great discomfort.
I'm extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable with such matters. I only started being able to use my 'forbidden' words in my 20s, most of which still give me a cold sweat.
The problem was instilled by my mother and a group of boys, but it's my issue now. I direct no blame, I just have a crippling discomfort.
Opening up when I got breast cancer was a mountain to overcome. It was surreal and I had to pretend I was somewhere else when discussing it with her.
She never opened up about such things. I was well-prepared about puberty, educated by her about my body and such, but they were clinical discussions. The mind can create a world unlike the lives people live on the outside. My sexual world is private, connected with shame and embarassment. I'll work on that eventually in therapy. Right now, I'm doing my best.
Your comfort and support is wonderful. I will think of you in that exam room. You don't make me uncomfortable. I am forever grateful.
I love you, Cyber Mom!
Nikki
Phoenix
02-09-2007, 05:20 AM
And that, my dear friends, is progress:) .
Oh, I forgot to mention that I will be there, with my black shades on and my spongebob squarepants suit on (yellow suit with spongebob imprinted all over it:) ). My yellow shoes and hat are on back order but I was told they would arrive early next week.:jester:
We're all there for you.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Oh, I forgot to mention that I will be there, with my black shades on and my spongebob squarepants suit on (yellow suit with spongebob imprinted all over it:) ). My yellow shoes and hat are on back order but I was told they would arrive early next week.:jester:
We're all there for you.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
ICC
02-09-2007, 08:03 AM
And you FTM i was starting to look for on the lurkers post. Haven't seen you and didn't know if it was just a break or if anything was wrong. glad you're here. I am sending another thread your way as I had everything turn upside doesn with my trial coming this tuesday and probably just need to vent and have you tell me it's ok. see you there.
Peace,
Grasshopper
Peace,
Grasshopper
Phoenix
02-09-2007, 09:52 AM
And you FTM i was starting to look for on the lurkers post. Haven't seen you and didn't know if it was just a break or if anything was wrong. glad you're here. I am sending another thread your way as I had everything turn upside doesn with my trial coming this tuesday and probably just need to vent and have you tell me it's ok. see you there.
Dear Grasshopper,
I just needed some time to get my bearings. I went into overkill, contacting agencies by email and standard post.
I will definitely see you on the next thread.
Nikki,
Hang in there, sis (I never had one and my sole sibling passed in 1990).
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Dear Grasshopper,
I just needed some time to get my bearings. I went into overkill, contacting agencies by email and standard post.
I will definitely see you on the next thread.
Nikki,
Hang in there, sis (I never had one and my sole sibling passed in 1990).
Take care
God Bless
FTM
hergy
02-09-2007, 03:47 PM
Hang in there, sis (I never had one and my sole sibling passed in 1990).
I'm so sorry about your brother, FTM.
I have a younger sister, but never had a brother. I'm glad to join the family.:)
Thanks. I'll make sure the medical staff knows you're with me and that your 'special' outfit is important.
Love,
Nikki
I'm so sorry about your brother, FTM.
I have a younger sister, but never had a brother. I'm glad to join the family.:)
Thanks. I'll make sure the medical staff knows you're with me and that your 'special' outfit is important.
Love,
Nikki
hergy
02-14-2007, 01:37 AM
I feel like a whiny baby by now, but here's the status of the 35-year-old woman on her countdown to first pelvic exam.
I'm totally numb. I don't remember anything I do each day because I'm not thinking. I'm very irritable. I sooooo want to injure. I feel dead. I have no interest in entertaining myself with hobbies and projects. I'm isolating myself, getting into a comfortably blank zone.
I'm thinking this is all normal, but I felt like I was making so much progress before this. Am I stepping backward?
I'm totally numb. I don't remember anything I do each day because I'm not thinking. I'm very irritable. I sooooo want to injure. I feel dead. I have no interest in entertaining myself with hobbies and projects. I'm isolating myself, getting into a comfortably blank zone.
I'm thinking this is all normal, but I felt like I was making so much progress before this. Am I stepping backward?
Phoenix
02-14-2007, 04:26 AM
I'm totally numb. I don't remember anything I do each day because I'm not thinking. I'm very irritable. I sooooo want to injure. I feel dead. I have no interest in entertaining myself with hobbies and projects. I'm isolating myself, getting into a comfortably blank zone.
I'm thinking this is all normal, but I felt like I was making so much progress before this. Am I stepping backward?
Dear Nikki,
The symptoms you speak of are that of PTSD with the compulsive side of the other disorder attempting to manifest itself.
Explain this to your therapist and keep posting, as it is "normal" to have anxiety pertaining to your scheduled exam.
Remember that you will get through this; you are a strong individual and will weather this also.
Alright "sis?"
Let me hold your hand(now) and remember that "peaceful place" in your mind.
It's there but will take a little effort in finding.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I'm thinking this is all normal, but I felt like I was making so much progress before this. Am I stepping backward?
Dear Nikki,
The symptoms you speak of are that of PTSD with the compulsive side of the other disorder attempting to manifest itself.
Explain this to your therapist and keep posting, as it is "normal" to have anxiety pertaining to your scheduled exam.
Remember that you will get through this; you are a strong individual and will weather this also.
Alright "sis?"
Let me hold your hand(now) and remember that "peaceful place" in your mind.
It's there but will take a little effort in finding.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
stick2013
02-14-2007, 05:45 AM
Nikki,
Just going to an exam of this nature, can cause some anxiety for any woman, but couple it with what you are going through and it sky rockets. But this to shall pass. As FTM stated, you are a strong woman, and can get through this.....The exam itself with take about a total of 10 minutes, and it will be over. It doesn't hurt, it's just embarrassing, but necessary.
You can do this hon........I have faith in you(and my bat) :D
Love you big bunches.......
Sid
Just going to an exam of this nature, can cause some anxiety for any woman, but couple it with what you are going through and it sky rockets. But this to shall pass. As FTM stated, you are a strong woman, and can get through this.....The exam itself with take about a total of 10 minutes, and it will be over. It doesn't hurt, it's just embarrassing, but necessary.
You can do this hon........I have faith in you(and my bat) :D
Love you big bunches.......
Sid
ICC
02-14-2007, 07:51 AM
Nikki----I have nothing to add to the mix. Sid and FTM have hit the nail on the head. I have gone once a year since i was 18. now 53 . have hated each and everyone of them. Have been anxious for a few days before. I have not suffered what you have. Lighten up on yourself. your feelings are normal and validated. but it's a must. Sid's right. 10 minutes. and you are done. there will be a nurse in the room so you will not be alone. when you're done get in your car and cry, laugh, sing but please remember to comfort yourself and give yourself a big hug for this milestone that you have accomplished. Use your overachiever skills if you have to. 'I CAN DO THIS, I AM STRONG AND CAPABLE, I AM A GOOD PERSON WHO NEEDS TO DO THIS TO PROTECT MY HEALTH, I AM ENTITLED TO GOOD HEALTH, 10 MINUTES I CAN TAKE, THIS IS ONE MORE ISSUE OFF MY LARGE PLATE." Got it girlfriend? Bring a friend if you need to have someone you can see with you. remember both your mothers and your older brother will be there.
Love you,
Grasshopper
Love you,
Grasshopper
stick2013
02-14-2007, 07:59 AM
Nikki,
Just remember this. or picture it in your mind during the exam....Your "Older brother will be outside the door in his Spongbob Square Pants out fit singing Lean on me." OMG I think I would PAY to see this.........:eek: :eek: :eek:
Hugs,
Sid
Just remember this. or picture it in your mind during the exam....Your "Older brother will be outside the door in his Spongbob Square Pants out fit singing Lean on me." OMG I think I would PAY to see this.........:eek: :eek: :eek:
Hugs,
Sid
Sannah
02-14-2007, 09:33 AM
Nikki, what you are going through right now sounds so normal! I can see exactly why you are going numb and why you are irritable and why you can't concentrate. You haven't had a lot of practice yet dealing with your feelings and you are having a lot of anxiety about this right now which is totally normal but all of these feelings are overwhelming you. You will be safe. You will have a female doctor who knows your history. She is not going to harm you. You are an extremely strong woman and you can do this. Stay in the present or at the very least don't go back in the past. Maybe thinking about the future would be a good distraction? What do you think Sid? Breathe deep and focus. Keep posting here as often as needed to keep processing this okay! Your feelings ARE NORMAL AND OKAY!
stick2013
02-14-2007, 11:01 AM
Nikki,
Whatever it takes to get you through it......DO IT!!!! Bring a stuffed animal, think of FTM in his "SUIT" ICC & I will be there is thought, bring a small ball to squeeze, anything..........Just try and stay in the present, and keep remembering that you ARE SAFE. This is not ABUSE, this is SAFETY..... You will be ok, we will all say a prayer for you, and you are strong enough to get through this......
Love you big bunches,
Sid
Whatever it takes to get you through it......DO IT!!!! Bring a stuffed animal, think of FTM in his "SUIT" ICC & I will be there is thought, bring a small ball to squeeze, anything..........Just try and stay in the present, and keep remembering that you ARE SAFE. This is not ABUSE, this is SAFETY..... You will be ok, we will all say a prayer for you, and you are strong enough to get through this......
Love you big bunches,
Sid
hergy
02-14-2007, 01:47 PM
Sid, ICC, Sannah, FTM,
Wow. You guys are AWESOME. Thanks so much for the votes of confidence. Sannah, you're right, I have no idea what to do with my feelings. That has been a lot of my problem.
FTM, the Spongebob Squarepants outfit is so appropriate and always hilarious.
You guys are already more help than you know. I'm going to do the something-in-my-hand thing. I've already decided what it will be.
I love you guys!
Nikki
I'm not comfortable enough with a new development I'm experiencing to start a thread, but I've been getting a scary memory with emotion complete with accompanying nightmare. It has been freaking me out the past few days. My heart pounds just typing about it. The memory includes elements that are strikingly similar to my upcoming exam. In fact, the exam may have pushed this memory to the fore.
Wow. You guys are AWESOME. Thanks so much for the votes of confidence. Sannah, you're right, I have no idea what to do with my feelings. That has been a lot of my problem.
FTM, the Spongebob Squarepants outfit is so appropriate and always hilarious.
You guys are already more help than you know. I'm going to do the something-in-my-hand thing. I've already decided what it will be.
I love you guys!
Nikki
I'm not comfortable enough with a new development I'm experiencing to start a thread, but I've been getting a scary memory with emotion complete with accompanying nightmare. It has been freaking me out the past few days. My heart pounds just typing about it. The memory includes elements that are strikingly similar to my upcoming exam. In fact, the exam may have pushed this memory to the fore.
Sannah
02-14-2007, 02:15 PM
Nikki, we will be listening when you are ready.
ICC
02-14-2007, 02:57 PM
Nikki---it's possible. we are here when you need us. If you find yourself overwelmed, post it. it will be better for you in the long run than to go this alone if it is upsetting you.
Love you,
Grasshopper
Love you,
Grasshopper
hergy
02-14-2007, 03:03 PM
Sannah, ICC,
Thanks. It's like I've been swimming in a flashback the last couple of days. I'm not accustomed to memories with feelings. In fact, before now, I only had one, with feelings that is.
Thanks. It's like I've been swimming in a flashback the last couple of days. I'm not accustomed to memories with feelings. In fact, before now, I only had one, with feelings that is.
stick2013
02-14-2007, 03:57 PM
Nikki,
Flashbacks are scary....They are in fact awful. Full of emotions, feeling, and sometimes it brings you right back to the scene of the crime.....BUT STOP....You are in the here and now....These are just feelings, they can't hurt you......Ground yourself......Remind yourself ever second if you have to that you are OK....Stay focused, breath deep, and remain calm. You are safe hon......You are loved, and you are strong......
We are all here.....Everyone of us will get you through this, but you have to help us.....Stay strong hon......
Sid
Flashbacks are scary....They are in fact awful. Full of emotions, feeling, and sometimes it brings you right back to the scene of the crime.....BUT STOP....You are in the here and now....These are just feelings, they can't hurt you......Ground yourself......Remind yourself ever second if you have to that you are OK....Stay focused, breath deep, and remain calm. You are safe hon......You are loved, and you are strong......
We are all here.....Everyone of us will get you through this, but you have to help us.....Stay strong hon......
Sid
hergy
02-14-2007, 05:27 PM
You are in the here and now....Ground yourself.....Stay focused, breath deep, and remain calm. You are safe hon......You are loved, and you are strong....
Thanks, Sid. I feel guilty lately for being such a basket case. I felt like I was getting strong and real. The new memories and emotions are overwhelming. My whole sense of self keeps sliding back into the body of a 4-year-old who is no longer in a still frame picture. As she lies in the dirt, she's alive, breathing and scaring the hell out of me.
I'm going to keep trying to ground myself. I know I'm safe. You're so awesome.
You know, I think a little snow would help. Wanna trade climates for a bit?
I love you!
Nikki
Thanks, Sid. I feel guilty lately for being such a basket case. I felt like I was getting strong and real. The new memories and emotions are overwhelming. My whole sense of self keeps sliding back into the body of a 4-year-old who is no longer in a still frame picture. As she lies in the dirt, she's alive, breathing and scaring the hell out of me.
I'm going to keep trying to ground myself. I know I'm safe. You're so awesome.
You know, I think a little snow would help. Wanna trade climates for a bit?
I love you!
Nikki
Sannah
02-14-2007, 06:00 PM
Nikki, it just seems that it is part of the process. You have 35 years of emotions to let out. We will be here with you the whole way. You will make it.
hergy
02-14-2007, 06:55 PM
Nikki, it just seems that it is part of the process. You have 35 years of emotions to let out. We will be here with you the whole way. You will make it.
Thanks, Sannah. You guys are the best.
You're a rock of support. I'm truly grateful for your non-judgemental attitude. You have a very calming nature.
Love you!
Nikki
Thanks, Sannah. You guys are the best.
You're a rock of support. I'm truly grateful for your non-judgemental attitude. You have a very calming nature.
Love you!
Nikki