EYESTWO22
02-07-2007, 09:09 AM
I will start our with some resent quotes from U&A (responaibilty is the name of the game) :
"It's hard for BP's to focus on the positives in life but being responsible for the disorder will allow them to address it in therapy.... Where there is a will there is a way as EYES has certainly showed us.
Personal responsibility and optimistism are traits any BP must master to have the stability so many of you deserve. It really applies to everyone in life and today many non-BP's even have a hard time mastering those traits but they are essential to a happy healthy life."
U&A goes on to say : "...... even us non-BP's have the normal up's and down's. It takes a true sense of personal responsibilty from the BP to see the behaviors and feelings are not normal and need serious attention. It also takes the same level of responsibility for people around them to confront the obvious and not enable over and over again. Nothing will change if everyone around just puts a blind eye.
Now, my thoughts as a emotionally stable BP for 23 years :
1) A BP has to "Ultimately be Responsible for their Actions at all times"
2) A Positive,Optimistic Additude is needed when stresses arise.
3) Know your "triggers" and confront them.
4) Stay away from Over Reaction.
5) Use 1)-4) with your spouse.Stop rage and whining.Take a deep Breath-fine your own space to keep control.
6) Knowledge,Learning are needed about BP. Accept it fully. Know that BP
is a Biochemical Imbalance Disorder.
7) A BP has to receive the proper Medications and always be Complient with them. When a BP "feels" better,this Not the time to discontinue their Meds.
OK, do you see any relationship with U&A's comments and My comments, even though I'm a BP and he's a Non-BP ?
Eyes
"Let's work the problem...."
Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
"It's hard for BP's to focus on the positives in life but being responsible for the disorder will allow them to address it in therapy.... Where there is a will there is a way as EYES has certainly showed us.
Personal responsibility and optimistism are traits any BP must master to have the stability so many of you deserve. It really applies to everyone in life and today many non-BP's even have a hard time mastering those traits but they are essential to a happy healthy life."
U&A goes on to say : "...... even us non-BP's have the normal up's and down's. It takes a true sense of personal responsibilty from the BP to see the behaviors and feelings are not normal and need serious attention. It also takes the same level of responsibility for people around them to confront the obvious and not enable over and over again. Nothing will change if everyone around just puts a blind eye.
Now, my thoughts as a emotionally stable BP for 23 years :
1) A BP has to "Ultimately be Responsible for their Actions at all times"
2) A Positive,Optimistic Additude is needed when stresses arise.
3) Know your "triggers" and confront them.
4) Stay away from Over Reaction.
5) Use 1)-4) with your spouse.Stop rage and whining.Take a deep Breath-fine your own space to keep control.
6) Knowledge,Learning are needed about BP. Accept it fully. Know that BP
is a Biochemical Imbalance Disorder.
7) A BP has to receive the proper Medications and always be Complient with them. When a BP "feels" better,this Not the time to discontinue their Meds.
OK, do you see any relationship with U&A's comments and My comments, even though I'm a BP and he's a Non-BP ?
Eyes
"Let's work the problem...."
Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
Sponsor
jgr01
02-07-2007, 09:19 AM
Hi Eyes,
well, i'm a bit confused (hahaha). I'm a medicated BP for about 7 yrs. What i seem to be reading is basically the same thing; although it can be difficult to accept or even recognise you have an illness for many years. I can get frustrated and so can my family, but we do all try and work together at it, with the help of regular psych appts. So, have I missed something, TBH my brain is a bit slow at the moment, not all the dots are joining at all times if you know what i mean. Really damn frustrating when I used to be so capable.
Juliet
well, i'm a bit confused (hahaha). I'm a medicated BP for about 7 yrs. What i seem to be reading is basically the same thing; although it can be difficult to accept or even recognise you have an illness for many years. I can get frustrated and so can my family, but we do all try and work together at it, with the help of regular psych appts. So, have I missed something, TBH my brain is a bit slow at the moment, not all the dots are joining at all times if you know what i mean. Really damn frustrating when I used to be so capable.
Juliet
coffeegirl2
02-07-2007, 09:28 AM
Yes. Logic is applied to both theories.
Non-BP's, too, have their moments of ups and downs. My DH has his days of down time, and days of euphoria. He also has attended therapy with me to learn about the illness, and in conjunction, has received some theraputic help himself at the same time.
In the situation I'm in, it has worked. We have made it work. Only through lots of effort on both ends of the spectrum.
We, in our household, have two special needs children. It creates a different scenario to another level of degree. So, the BP illness of which I have, is secondary to what goes on in our household to their illness'. We have a lot to cope with in my home. Lots of therapy, medications, and quiettime to deal with on a daily basis. To keep my illness at bay as a parent, I'm in lots of therapy and visit the pdoc regularly, as well as meet with my DH regularly for support. It takes teamwork.
Well, that is all I have to say. Time to feed the fat cat before he eats my foot off!
Coffeegirl
Non-BP's, too, have their moments of ups and downs. My DH has his days of down time, and days of euphoria. He also has attended therapy with me to learn about the illness, and in conjunction, has received some theraputic help himself at the same time.
In the situation I'm in, it has worked. We have made it work. Only through lots of effort on both ends of the spectrum.
We, in our household, have two special needs children. It creates a different scenario to another level of degree. So, the BP illness of which I have, is secondary to what goes on in our household to their illness'. We have a lot to cope with in my home. Lots of therapy, medications, and quiettime to deal with on a daily basis. To keep my illness at bay as a parent, I'm in lots of therapy and visit the pdoc regularly, as well as meet with my DH regularly for support. It takes teamwork.
Well, that is all I have to say. Time to feed the fat cat before he eats my foot off!
Coffeegirl
EYESTWO22
02-07-2007, 10:06 AM
[QUOTE=coffeegirl2;
Yes. Logic is applied to both theories.
Non-BP's, too, have their moments of ups and downs. My DH has his days of down time, and days of euphoria. He also has attended therapy with me to learn about the illness, and in conjunction, has received some theraputic help himself at the same time.
Coffeegirl : I would add your last comment to my list of 7).....
8).... lots of therapy and visit the pdoc regularly, as well as meet with my DH (spouse) regularly for support. It takes teamwork.
Eyes
Yes. Logic is applied to both theories.
Non-BP's, too, have their moments of ups and downs. My DH has his days of down time, and days of euphoria. He also has attended therapy with me to learn about the illness, and in conjunction, has received some theraputic help himself at the same time.
Coffeegirl : I would add your last comment to my list of 7).....
8).... lots of therapy and visit the pdoc regularly, as well as meet with my DH (spouse) regularly for support. It takes teamwork.
Eyes
teresa2007
02-07-2007, 10:58 AM
I guess that explains why i am a basket case and cant get control of this disorder. I need proper treatment and therapy so i can learn to deal with this correctly. Well im trying! Thanks for the info it was very helpful!
I whine too much and i need to take the bull by the horns and get with the program. Thanks for inspiring me! Ill shut up now! Tee
I whine too much and i need to take the bull by the horns and get with the program. Thanks for inspiring me! Ill shut up now! Tee
EYESTWO22
02-07-2007, 11:31 AM
Juliet & Tee :
Juliet, You said :...." I can get frustrated and so can my family, but we do all try and work together at it, with the help of regular psych appts."
Tee, You said : ...." I need proper treatment and therapy so i can learn to deal with this correctly. Well im trying! Thanks for the info it was very helpful!
My dear Ladies : By your above "qoutes",you both are saying and thinking postive thoughts :) I just have "Eyes" for your "Optimistic portions of your posts :D
Stay with it.;)
Eyes
"Let's work the problem...."
Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
Juliet, You said :...." I can get frustrated and so can my family, but we do all try and work together at it, with the help of regular psych appts."
Tee, You said : ...." I need proper treatment and therapy so i can learn to deal with this correctly. Well im trying! Thanks for the info it was very helpful!
My dear Ladies : By your above "qoutes",you both are saying and thinking postive thoughts :) I just have "Eyes" for your "Optimistic portions of your posts :D
Stay with it.;)
Eyes
"Let's work the problem...."
Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
Used&Abused
02-07-2007, 11:32 AM
Hi Eyes,
I apoligize for not getting to the thread sooner but developments in my situation have major cause for alarm. My 11 yr old step daughter went to school Friday and wrote a letter to her teacher about how her mother is hitting her and constantly yelling at her. Needless to say the principal, the school pdoc, and the teacher pulled her into a meeting that day and now as we speak social services is at my wife's house interviewing the whole family.
Am I surprise it's come to this? NO! The biggest problem I have right now is last night my wife's whole family was yelling at the 11 yr old for causing all this. It just goes to show you how completely irresponsible they are and I'm being left with little choice but to get my kids out of the situation all together. My wife is locking herself in her bedroom so she can talk to her boyfriend for hours. She is completely manic and I just don't think she will see the light anytime soon if ever. She even went as far to tell her ex that the 11 yr old should maybe live with him and I never thought that would happen.
This disorder is progressive and my situation certainly shows how a unmedicated BP can go downhill very quickly. Responsibility is still the name of the game and my wife wants none of it. I guess she is going to be forced to a certain extent to take some of it but that's left to be seen. If anything this will cause the crash of her life. I continue to try to make sense of her actions but I know I never will make sense of it. I hate this disorder more than you will ever know and I hope this thread helps all of us to find ways to crush it with all our strength.
God Bless...........U&A
I apoligize for not getting to the thread sooner but developments in my situation have major cause for alarm. My 11 yr old step daughter went to school Friday and wrote a letter to her teacher about how her mother is hitting her and constantly yelling at her. Needless to say the principal, the school pdoc, and the teacher pulled her into a meeting that day and now as we speak social services is at my wife's house interviewing the whole family.
Am I surprise it's come to this? NO! The biggest problem I have right now is last night my wife's whole family was yelling at the 11 yr old for causing all this. It just goes to show you how completely irresponsible they are and I'm being left with little choice but to get my kids out of the situation all together. My wife is locking herself in her bedroom so she can talk to her boyfriend for hours. She is completely manic and I just don't think she will see the light anytime soon if ever. She even went as far to tell her ex that the 11 yr old should maybe live with him and I never thought that would happen.
This disorder is progressive and my situation certainly shows how a unmedicated BP can go downhill very quickly. Responsibility is still the name of the game and my wife wants none of it. I guess she is going to be forced to a certain extent to take some of it but that's left to be seen. If anything this will cause the crash of her life. I continue to try to make sense of her actions but I know I never will make sense of it. I hate this disorder more than you will ever know and I hope this thread helps all of us to find ways to crush it with all our strength.
God Bless...........U&A
goody2shuz
02-07-2007, 12:01 PM
What a wonderful thread....I think that the unity of those with BP and those who love and care for them can go a long way to understanding and healing.
I know, as a non BPer and mom of a newly diagnosed BPer that Bpers hold alot of shame and remorse for what they say and do that is for the most part out of their control and part of their chemical imbalance within the brain. As we have seen from both sides, even with the proper meds and stabilization there will still be triggers that will off set the fragile balance acheived and that is why knowing that and learning to identify such triggers is imperative to keeping things balanced so that the cycle doesn't keep on repeating itself in which terrible things are said and done that will lead to further remorse and shame. I know that my daughter's most difficult part is ahead in being able to do this......the meds are pretty much in place but she still has far to go to make sure that things continue to stay in balance. My biggest fear for my daughter is her not being able to maintain friendships or any long trem relationship because in reading many of the posts here the most difficult part of being BP is holding back the anger, frustration, agitation enough to not displace or take it out on the ones we love. As it is now, it is difficult enough for me to take my daughters daily lashings but I do because I am her mother. But what about those who do not have to put up with that???
I am sorry, I hope I am not offending anyone, I am being honest here as somebody who wants my daughter to have a happy life filled with many friends, boyfriends, eventually getting married and having a family of her own but to be honest I don't think it will come so easy for her. And from what I am reading on this board from those who do have BP I see that is a constant struggle for you. Can anybody offer me any hope in regard to what I fear for my daughter's future???
Eyes ~ The list you came up with is wonderful...I intend to read it to Erin when she is open to hearing it. Right now we are approaching the phase of final acceptance when it comes to a loss...I know that she, as I do, feels as if something in her life has been lost since her diagnosis and this is the part that is most difficult particularly as a teen. So we are going to need some time but your list may come in handy once she is there.;)
I intend on being a follower of this thread (and a more than willing participant;) )...it is filled with such wisdom and a wealth of knowledge than any book I may find out there to understand what ERin and our family is going through. As I have said so many times, there is no better form of advice than firsthand knowledge from those who are walking in the very shoes that we find ourselves wearing.
Used & Abused ~ I am so sorry to hear about your latest happenings, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise to do what you must do to help your children out. Many times the bad things that happen in our lives looking bak on them, were actually blessings.:angel: You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Coffeegirl ~ Welcome back, you have so much to share here and I really look forward to your posts. I am glad that you are still among us.
Juliet ~ Your words and openness help many here including us non BPers in understanding what it is like for our loved ones trying to find stability in their lives. Thank you for sharing your soul with us.
And for everybody else here, thanks for all that you do on a daily basis to help me learn and understand all that I need to in order to best support my daughter. I will forever be grateful for this forum for doing that for me and my family.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
I know, as a non BPer and mom of a newly diagnosed BPer that Bpers hold alot of shame and remorse for what they say and do that is for the most part out of their control and part of their chemical imbalance within the brain. As we have seen from both sides, even with the proper meds and stabilization there will still be triggers that will off set the fragile balance acheived and that is why knowing that and learning to identify such triggers is imperative to keeping things balanced so that the cycle doesn't keep on repeating itself in which terrible things are said and done that will lead to further remorse and shame. I know that my daughter's most difficult part is ahead in being able to do this......the meds are pretty much in place but she still has far to go to make sure that things continue to stay in balance. My biggest fear for my daughter is her not being able to maintain friendships or any long trem relationship because in reading many of the posts here the most difficult part of being BP is holding back the anger, frustration, agitation enough to not displace or take it out on the ones we love. As it is now, it is difficult enough for me to take my daughters daily lashings but I do because I am her mother. But what about those who do not have to put up with that???
I am sorry, I hope I am not offending anyone, I am being honest here as somebody who wants my daughter to have a happy life filled with many friends, boyfriends, eventually getting married and having a family of her own but to be honest I don't think it will come so easy for her. And from what I am reading on this board from those who do have BP I see that is a constant struggle for you. Can anybody offer me any hope in regard to what I fear for my daughter's future???
Eyes ~ The list you came up with is wonderful...I intend to read it to Erin when she is open to hearing it. Right now we are approaching the phase of final acceptance when it comes to a loss...I know that she, as I do, feels as if something in her life has been lost since her diagnosis and this is the part that is most difficult particularly as a teen. So we are going to need some time but your list may come in handy once she is there.;)
I intend on being a follower of this thread (and a more than willing participant;) )...it is filled with such wisdom and a wealth of knowledge than any book I may find out there to understand what ERin and our family is going through. As I have said so many times, there is no better form of advice than firsthand knowledge from those who are walking in the very shoes that we find ourselves wearing.
Used & Abused ~ I am so sorry to hear about your latest happenings, perhaps it is a blessing in disguise to do what you must do to help your children out. Many times the bad things that happen in our lives looking bak on them, were actually blessings.:angel: You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Coffeegirl ~ Welcome back, you have so much to share here and I really look forward to your posts. I am glad that you are still among us.
Juliet ~ Your words and openness help many here including us non BPers in understanding what it is like for our loved ones trying to find stability in their lives. Thank you for sharing your soul with us.
And for everybody else here, thanks for all that you do on a daily basis to help me learn and understand all that I need to in order to best support my daughter. I will forever be grateful for this forum for doing that for me and my family.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
EYESTWO22
02-07-2007, 01:01 PM
U &A :
You know from your experience,knowledge and therapy that there is a time to confront your problem head on with the support of the principal, the school pdoc, and the teacher. It may be time to work with a "State" appointed Pdoc and develope a team of professionals to consider hospitalizing your spouse. (very sorry to say). Sometimes,a BPer needs to hit "rock bottom" and it appears that your spouse has.
Remember,"I have been there,and done that" That is when I findly started to take full responsiblity for my life :)
Goody, You said :
In part......"I intend on being a follower of this thread (and a more than willing participant )...it is filled with such wisdom and a wealth of knowledge than any book I may find out there to understand what ERin and our family is going through. As I have said so many times, there is no better form of advice than firsthand knowledge from those who are walking in the very shoes that we find ourselves wearing."
How true it is;)
Your Bper (I like how your "coined" that) Erin will persevere.. How do I know?
She has a MOM who would'nt give up. A MOM with Hope and Faith :D Remember, those words are working with your brother;as we speak.
Fear ..... is something that will be overcome with Time......you also said..
.... "My biggest fear for my daughter is her not being able to maintain friendships or any long trem relationship because in reading many of the posts here the most difficult part of being BP is holding back the anger, frustration, agitation enough to not displace or take it out on the ones we love."
If you Fear it.....Time will cure it...:cool:
Hang on...Both of You....
Eyes
You know from your experience,knowledge and therapy that there is a time to confront your problem head on with the support of the principal, the school pdoc, and the teacher. It may be time to work with a "State" appointed Pdoc and develope a team of professionals to consider hospitalizing your spouse. (very sorry to say). Sometimes,a BPer needs to hit "rock bottom" and it appears that your spouse has.
Remember,"I have been there,and done that" That is when I findly started to take full responsiblity for my life :)
Goody, You said :
In part......"I intend on being a follower of this thread (and a more than willing participant )...it is filled with such wisdom and a wealth of knowledge than any book I may find out there to understand what ERin and our family is going through. As I have said so many times, there is no better form of advice than firsthand knowledge from those who are walking in the very shoes that we find ourselves wearing."
How true it is;)
Your Bper (I like how your "coined" that) Erin will persevere.. How do I know?
She has a MOM who would'nt give up. A MOM with Hope and Faith :D Remember, those words are working with your brother;as we speak.
Fear ..... is something that will be overcome with Time......you also said..
.... "My biggest fear for my daughter is her not being able to maintain friendships or any long trem relationship because in reading many of the posts here the most difficult part of being BP is holding back the anger, frustration, agitation enough to not displace or take it out on the ones we love."
If you Fear it.....Time will cure it...:cool:
Hang on...Both of You....
Eyes
teresa2007
02-07-2007, 07:47 PM
Eyes,
I just had to write and say thank you for this thread because its helping me to think about alot.I was diagnosed about 3 yrs ago but knew there was something different about me since i was a child,but when i found out ,thats all i thought about was igot something wrong with.me.
I really didnt know i could get better or even feel better about myself until
i got on this heathboard and talked to people just like me.
They didnt judge me or make fun of me or especially say ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!They just excepted me for who i am and try to encourage me in the bad times and dont make me fill any worst then i already do.
Somebody said to me that i have bipolar, bipolar doesnt have me! That is my goal and your words today really encouraged me. Yes i have along way to go but im trying to look at things in a more positive way.
I feel bad for bp people that dont seek help because it does destroy relationships I really messed up my first family because i didnt know what i had and my first husband just added fuel to the fire but my second family at least i know what i have and can get help.And GOODY i know ive told you this before but you becoming educated and taking the time to find out all you can about your daughter and her illness will help her more than you will ever know.
I know it must be frustrating for you but just be there for her because i know in my own experience even though my husband doesnt understand bp totally he has stuck with me and been there for me thru thick and thin and i will never ever forget that! Thanks eyes for this encouraging thread
Big HUG TEE TEE
I just had to write and say thank you for this thread because its helping me to think about alot.I was diagnosed about 3 yrs ago but knew there was something different about me since i was a child,but when i found out ,thats all i thought about was igot something wrong with.me.
I really didnt know i could get better or even feel better about myself until
i got on this heathboard and talked to people just like me.
They didnt judge me or make fun of me or especially say ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD!They just excepted me for who i am and try to encourage me in the bad times and dont make me fill any worst then i already do.
Somebody said to me that i have bipolar, bipolar doesnt have me! That is my goal and your words today really encouraged me. Yes i have along way to go but im trying to look at things in a more positive way.
I feel bad for bp people that dont seek help because it does destroy relationships I really messed up my first family because i didnt know what i had and my first husband just added fuel to the fire but my second family at least i know what i have and can get help.And GOODY i know ive told you this before but you becoming educated and taking the time to find out all you can about your daughter and her illness will help her more than you will ever know.
I know it must be frustrating for you but just be there for her because i know in my own experience even though my husband doesnt understand bp totally he has stuck with me and been there for me thru thick and thin and i will never ever forget that! Thanks eyes for this encouraging thread
Big HUG TEE TEE
EYESTWO22
02-07-2007, 09:34 PM
Tee TEE (teresa2007) :
Just know that all BPers are with you, my dear.:)
I know by your heart felt message that you will always receive the love
and support from every BP on this Forum.
I'm glad this Thread is touching people like you. That is why I started it in the first place :)
My God Bless you as you proceed along this path of Hope as a BPer.
Eyes
Just know that all BPers are with you, my dear.:)
I know by your heart felt message that you will always receive the love
and support from every BP on this Forum.
I'm glad this Thread is touching people like you. That is why I started it in the first place :)
My God Bless you as you proceed along this path of Hope as a BPer.
Eyes
teresa2007
02-07-2007, 10:50 PM
Thank you very much! hugs TEE TEE
Used&Abused
02-07-2007, 11:51 PM
Hello everyone,
I want all of the BP's here to know I commend all of you for having the foresight to be on this board. It helps all of us cope and is often a great form of therapy. I think Eyes has shown us that you almost need a PHD in bipolar to manage it like he has. A high level of knowledge about the disorder and yourself can put forth a level of responsibility that can give you the stability many dream about. It comes down to controlling it or letting it control you.
For spouses or loved ones of a BP there becomes a level of responsibility we all must all achieve to do our part in keeping life stable. I really wish I had found this board years ago as I think I may have approached it differently. I know sometimes I helped in triggering my wife's episodes and I wish I had the knowledge then rather than now. I commend many spouses here for sticking it out but most of you that do are dealing with BP's that have accepted their disorder and doing everything they can to stay stable. Living with an unmedicated BP that shows no signs of accepting even after a pdoc's dx is a nightmare to say the least. I know that most of the BP's here don't blame me one bit for leaving the marriage, as most know what they were like when unmedicated. It's unbearable and I wish it on no one.
I hope this thread helps to bridge the gap between the BP and Non-BP's. We all have to live in this world together and having the knowledge of what this disorder is will help us all to live healthy happy lives into the future. I pray everyday that my wife will see the light, educate herself and live a stable life for the benefit of herself and the children. It's nice that we can all come together to share our thoughts and hopefully walk away with a more optimistic outlook. We all have the ability to turn negatives into positives if we put our minds to it.
God Bless.........U&A
I want all of the BP's here to know I commend all of you for having the foresight to be on this board. It helps all of us cope and is often a great form of therapy. I think Eyes has shown us that you almost need a PHD in bipolar to manage it like he has. A high level of knowledge about the disorder and yourself can put forth a level of responsibility that can give you the stability many dream about. It comes down to controlling it or letting it control you.
For spouses or loved ones of a BP there becomes a level of responsibility we all must all achieve to do our part in keeping life stable. I really wish I had found this board years ago as I think I may have approached it differently. I know sometimes I helped in triggering my wife's episodes and I wish I had the knowledge then rather than now. I commend many spouses here for sticking it out but most of you that do are dealing with BP's that have accepted their disorder and doing everything they can to stay stable. Living with an unmedicated BP that shows no signs of accepting even after a pdoc's dx is a nightmare to say the least. I know that most of the BP's here don't blame me one bit for leaving the marriage, as most know what they were like when unmedicated. It's unbearable and I wish it on no one.
I hope this thread helps to bridge the gap between the BP and Non-BP's. We all have to live in this world together and having the knowledge of what this disorder is will help us all to live healthy happy lives into the future. I pray everyday that my wife will see the light, educate herself and live a stable life for the benefit of herself and the children. It's nice that we can all come together to share our thoughts and hopefully walk away with a more optimistic outlook. We all have the ability to turn negatives into positives if we put our minds to it.
God Bless.........U&A
goody2shuz
02-07-2007, 11:59 PM
GOODY i know ive told you this before but you becoming educated and taking the time to find out all you can about your daughter and her illness will help her more than you will ever know.
I know it must be frustrating for you but just be there for her because i know in my own experience even though my husband doesnt understand bp totally he has stuck with me and been there for me thru thick and thin and i will never ever forget that! Thank you, Tee, for reminding me of this once again. I know how important it is to learn all I can about BP so that I can understand it and be able to support her the best that I can. But even more than that, reading about all that everybody goes through having BP is even more valuable. It helps me to better understand how Erin may be feeling and that is extremely important to me.
I am glad that this thread is here so that we can have a better understanding of how a BPer feels and what their needs may be as well as how much a non BPer wants to help and may feel while trying to support the BPer they love.
Thanks again, Tee ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
I know it must be frustrating for you but just be there for her because i know in my own experience even though my husband doesnt understand bp totally he has stuck with me and been there for me thru thick and thin and i will never ever forget that! Thank you, Tee, for reminding me of this once again. I know how important it is to learn all I can about BP so that I can understand it and be able to support her the best that I can. But even more than that, reading about all that everybody goes through having BP is even more valuable. It helps me to better understand how Erin may be feeling and that is extremely important to me.
I am glad that this thread is here so that we can have a better understanding of how a BPer feels and what their needs may be as well as how much a non BPer wants to help and may feel while trying to support the BPer they love.
Thanks again, Tee ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
EYESTWO22
02-08-2007, 08:16 AM
Thank you, Tee, for reminding me of this once again. I know how important it is to learn all I can about BP......
I am glad that this thread is here so that we can have a better understanding of how a BPer feels and what their needs may be as well as how much a non BPer wants to help and may feel while trying to support the BPer they love.
Thanks again, Tee ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
To all have posted on this Thread.....so far :
Goody : In your last paragraph (above), you have really stated the "mission" of this thread.
I know that as we all have thoughts and concerns about BPD,(BP or Non-BP),
We can come here to receive the support we all need.
As U&A always signs off....God Bless :)
And, Carry On !
Eyes
I am glad that this thread is here so that we can have a better understanding of how a BPer feels and what their needs may be as well as how much a non BPer wants to help and may feel while trying to support the BPer they love.
Thanks again, Tee ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
To all have posted on this Thread.....so far :
Goody : In your last paragraph (above), you have really stated the "mission" of this thread.
I know that as we all have thoughts and concerns about BPD,(BP or Non-BP),
We can come here to receive the support we all need.
As U&A always signs off....God Bless :)
And, Carry On !
Eyes
coffeegirl2
02-08-2007, 12:41 PM
U&A: You are a very empowering person. Your children are so blessed to have a daddy like you who is strong, caring, loving, and protective of them.
There is truth to how loved ones of BP's are somewhat a trigger at times to the BP illness; but not a cause of it. Anyone, anything, etc.; can trigger a mood swing to the illness; that is a proven fact but not the family members fault. Something said, done, etc.- could cause a trigger. It is a reaction from the person with the illness and their lack of control with their emotions and actions.
I hope and pray that your wife wakes up and comes to her senses for her health, safety, and mental sake. It would be a tragedy if she didn't. Life is too short to live in such a mess, losing everything one loves and cherishes. She will have so many regrets. Really, she will someday snap out of it. And crash severely and seep into a depression when reality hits her. That is what follows a manic episode.
Thank you for this thread. It is a great one! :)
Coffeegirl
There is truth to how loved ones of BP's are somewhat a trigger at times to the BP illness; but not a cause of it. Anyone, anything, etc.; can trigger a mood swing to the illness; that is a proven fact but not the family members fault. Something said, done, etc.- could cause a trigger. It is a reaction from the person with the illness and their lack of control with their emotions and actions.
I hope and pray that your wife wakes up and comes to her senses for her health, safety, and mental sake. It would be a tragedy if she didn't. Life is too short to live in such a mess, losing everything one loves and cherishes. She will have so many regrets. Really, she will someday snap out of it. And crash severely and seep into a depression when reality hits her. That is what follows a manic episode.
Thank you for this thread. It is a great one! :)
Coffeegirl
Used&Abused
02-08-2007, 05:06 PM
Coffeegirl2,
I agree that even though we spouses may not help the situation sometimes it still comes down to personal responsibility of the BP. Just as no alcoholic can ever say they drank because it was someone else's fault. Remember, 10% is what happens to us and 90% is how we react to it. My wife till this day refuses to even acknoledge that reality.
I hope and pray also that my wife sees the light before she digs herself any deeper as her life could be so much better for herself and the kids. I know I'm a good person and therapy brought my self confidence full circle. I hate divorce but I'm left will no other options and it hurts but time will heal my wounds and hopefully it will cause my wife to seek the help she needs.
With a unmedicated BP the episodes tend to get worse as time goes on and my wife is no exception to the rule. She is in for the biggest crash of her life and I can do nothing to stop her from hitting that brick wall at a 100 MPH. She's still on top the manic mountain but she's losing her footing and about crash down the slippery slope of depression. I hate to see it but I can do nothing stop it. I think Eyes is right about her having to hit complete rock bottom before she will have a chance to pick up the pieces of her life.
I thank you coffeegirl2 for the compliments and I commend you for taking steps in life to become responsible for your disorder. Eyes is living proof you can keep this disorder in check for years if you have the self determination to see the reality of it all.
God Bless..............U&A
I agree that even though we spouses may not help the situation sometimes it still comes down to personal responsibility of the BP. Just as no alcoholic can ever say they drank because it was someone else's fault. Remember, 10% is what happens to us and 90% is how we react to it. My wife till this day refuses to even acknoledge that reality.
I hope and pray also that my wife sees the light before she digs herself any deeper as her life could be so much better for herself and the kids. I know I'm a good person and therapy brought my self confidence full circle. I hate divorce but I'm left will no other options and it hurts but time will heal my wounds and hopefully it will cause my wife to seek the help she needs.
With a unmedicated BP the episodes tend to get worse as time goes on and my wife is no exception to the rule. She is in for the biggest crash of her life and I can do nothing to stop her from hitting that brick wall at a 100 MPH. She's still on top the manic mountain but she's losing her footing and about crash down the slippery slope of depression. I hate to see it but I can do nothing stop it. I think Eyes is right about her having to hit complete rock bottom before she will have a chance to pick up the pieces of her life.
I thank you coffeegirl2 for the compliments and I commend you for taking steps in life to become responsible for your disorder. Eyes is living proof you can keep this disorder in check for years if you have the self determination to see the reality of it all.
God Bless..............U&A
EYESTWO22
02-09-2007, 08:49 AM
With a unmedicated BP the episodes tend to get worse as time goes on and my wife is no exception to the rule. She is in for the biggest crash of her life and I can do nothing to stop her from hitting that brick wall at a 100 MPH. She's still on top the manic mountain but she's losing her footing and about crash down the slippery slope of depression. I hate to see it but I can do nothing stop it. I think Eyes is right about her having to hit complete rock bottom before she will have a chance to pick up the pieces of her life.
I thank you coffeegirl2 for the compliments and I commend you for taking steps in life to become responsible for your disorder. Eyes is living proof you can keep this disorder in check for years if you have the self determination to see the reality of it all.
God Bless..............U&A
U&A....I am praying that you continue to face you divorce with your positive additude. Your right,you can not stop your unmedicated manic wife from hitting "rock bottom" (and that is very sad that she will). Your children are in need of a stable parent. And you are there to provide that stability. You are the important one. Think ahead for your own future and the children's.
As far as your wife's future....all I can say there may still be hope for her.
"Rock Bottom" for a BPer,even a unmedicated one;still has a chance to "see the light" with the proper medications and a teamwork of professionals. However,she,and only she, will have to be the one to take complete responsibility for her own actions.
You and I keep pushing this "responsibility thing" in every one of our posts. You and I know the power of that word......it's puting that power to a postive,optimistic use that counts in life. BPD can be conquered :)
Yes...God Blesses
Eyes
I thank you coffeegirl2 for the compliments and I commend you for taking steps in life to become responsible for your disorder. Eyes is living proof you can keep this disorder in check for years if you have the self determination to see the reality of it all.
God Bless..............U&A
U&A....I am praying that you continue to face you divorce with your positive additude. Your right,you can not stop your unmedicated manic wife from hitting "rock bottom" (and that is very sad that she will). Your children are in need of a stable parent. And you are there to provide that stability. You are the important one. Think ahead for your own future and the children's.
As far as your wife's future....all I can say there may still be hope for her.
"Rock Bottom" for a BPer,even a unmedicated one;still has a chance to "see the light" with the proper medications and a teamwork of professionals. However,she,and only she, will have to be the one to take complete responsibility for her own actions.
You and I keep pushing this "responsibility thing" in every one of our posts. You and I know the power of that word......it's puting that power to a postive,optimistic use that counts in life. BPD can be conquered :)
Yes...God Blesses
Eyes
Used&Abused
02-09-2007, 12:47 PM
Hi Eyes,
You know, your state of Florida is an easy comparison to BP. Since eternity Hurricanes (BP) have hit that state. Most of the time it's a beautiful tranquil place to bask in the sun (Stability). Even 30 years ago there were always warning signs the hurricane was coming but even today with all the advancement of early warning systems too many people still seem to be irresponsible in preparing for it or heading for safety.
As a BP you take responsibility for what's to come and prepare by boarding up your house (Mind) and not allow the hurricane to run you and your loved ones over. You even have the option of taking shelter miles away (Meds, Pdoc, Therapist) but you are the one truly responsible for how the hurricane effects you. Having the experience and responsibility to weather the storm in the right way is the name of the game. Eyes has shown us he has the experience and responsibility to know when to drive as fast as he can to avoid the hurricane all together. We all know that the whole family can be affected by the decisions of the BP and if they want us to ride out the storm with them we must take responsibility for making that decision ourselves. Unfortunately our children don't have the choice sometimes of being able to run from the hurricane. The non-BP spouse must take responsibility for the children when the BP chooses to be irresponsible and not take proper precautions in preparing for the hurricanes arrival.
In my situation being with a unmedicated BP she has no interest in even acknowledge a Cat 5 hurricane is looming right off shore. I know it's coming but she has the control of boarding up the house and running for shelter. She has chosen for years just to ignore it and the hurricane continues to destroy every piece of the house almost to the point of total destruction. Due to her irresponsibility in accepting the hurricane is even there I've decided I must run for higher ground without her. I can't continue to rebuild a house that keeps getting torn down. It hurts to know she is still back in the house about to be run over by a Cat 5 hurricane but until she sees her house destroyed over and over will she be able to see it's not worth it and seek higher ground herself. It's even worse for my wife because her family and friends will fly in from out of state to enable her riding the storm out rather then give her solid advice on not even trying to ride it out.
To everyone here, we must remember there are many people far away from BP that also choose to be irresponsible and ride out these storms meaning you don't necessarily have to be BP to be caught in a hurricane of irresponsibility. Eyes has built himself the best hurricane proof house on the planet. I commend him on his foresight to know when the storm is approaching and how to completely avoid it for 23 years now.
It's taken many years to come up with the best way to deal with these hurricanes but it can be done if we all really use what's there. I often try to compare BP to other things in life as it sometimes makes it easier for us non-BP's to understand something that's made little sense to us.
God Bless...........U&A
You know, your state of Florida is an easy comparison to BP. Since eternity Hurricanes (BP) have hit that state. Most of the time it's a beautiful tranquil place to bask in the sun (Stability). Even 30 years ago there were always warning signs the hurricane was coming but even today with all the advancement of early warning systems too many people still seem to be irresponsible in preparing for it or heading for safety.
As a BP you take responsibility for what's to come and prepare by boarding up your house (Mind) and not allow the hurricane to run you and your loved ones over. You even have the option of taking shelter miles away (Meds, Pdoc, Therapist) but you are the one truly responsible for how the hurricane effects you. Having the experience and responsibility to weather the storm in the right way is the name of the game. Eyes has shown us he has the experience and responsibility to know when to drive as fast as he can to avoid the hurricane all together. We all know that the whole family can be affected by the decisions of the BP and if they want us to ride out the storm with them we must take responsibility for making that decision ourselves. Unfortunately our children don't have the choice sometimes of being able to run from the hurricane. The non-BP spouse must take responsibility for the children when the BP chooses to be irresponsible and not take proper precautions in preparing for the hurricanes arrival.
In my situation being with a unmedicated BP she has no interest in even acknowledge a Cat 5 hurricane is looming right off shore. I know it's coming but she has the control of boarding up the house and running for shelter. She has chosen for years just to ignore it and the hurricane continues to destroy every piece of the house almost to the point of total destruction. Due to her irresponsibility in accepting the hurricane is even there I've decided I must run for higher ground without her. I can't continue to rebuild a house that keeps getting torn down. It hurts to know she is still back in the house about to be run over by a Cat 5 hurricane but until she sees her house destroyed over and over will she be able to see it's not worth it and seek higher ground herself. It's even worse for my wife because her family and friends will fly in from out of state to enable her riding the storm out rather then give her solid advice on not even trying to ride it out.
To everyone here, we must remember there are many people far away from BP that also choose to be irresponsible and ride out these storms meaning you don't necessarily have to be BP to be caught in a hurricane of irresponsibility. Eyes has built himself the best hurricane proof house on the planet. I commend him on his foresight to know when the storm is approaching and how to completely avoid it for 23 years now.
It's taken many years to come up with the best way to deal with these hurricanes but it can be done if we all really use what's there. I often try to compare BP to other things in life as it sometimes makes it easier for us non-BP's to understand something that's made little sense to us.
God Bless...........U&A
coffeegirl2
02-09-2007, 03:05 PM
U&A
Terrific theory. You are a very creative and intellegent person.
Hurricanes is a well-suitible word for BP individuals. The categorie levels meet all levels of the various moodswings, mania's, and depressions. In my case, we have surpassed various levels of hurricanes, and unfortunately a level 5. Somehow, I will never know, but we made it through that level 5. The rebuilding took time, hard work, and there are still scars from that storm and always will be. However, we look at the past as past tense, and always a learning experience. Today is a gift and tomorrow is a chance for a new beginning.
Keep your bearings together as you go through each day. Continue to apply your energies towards your children and look to them as the blessings they are, as you have been doing. Your children will appreciate you even more so and some day look back and remember how much daddy played, held, and took time for them. Those are the things children want most from us.
Toodles. Signing off to enjoy the rest of the day and evening. After I finish my 'job'- the laundry.
Have a nice weekend! :angel:
Coffeegirl
Terrific theory. You are a very creative and intellegent person.
Hurricanes is a well-suitible word for BP individuals. The categorie levels meet all levels of the various moodswings, mania's, and depressions. In my case, we have surpassed various levels of hurricanes, and unfortunately a level 5. Somehow, I will never know, but we made it through that level 5. The rebuilding took time, hard work, and there are still scars from that storm and always will be. However, we look at the past as past tense, and always a learning experience. Today is a gift and tomorrow is a chance for a new beginning.
Keep your bearings together as you go through each day. Continue to apply your energies towards your children and look to them as the blessings they are, as you have been doing. Your children will appreciate you even more so and some day look back and remember how much daddy played, held, and took time for them. Those are the things children want most from us.
Toodles. Signing off to enjoy the rest of the day and evening. After I finish my 'job'- the laundry.
Have a nice weekend! :angel:
Coffeegirl
EYESTWO22
02-09-2007, 03:25 PM
Hi Eyes,
You know, your state of Florida is an easy comparison to BP. Since eternity Hurricanes (BP) have hit that state. Most of the time it's a beautiful tranquil place to bask in the sun (Stability). Even 30 years ago there were always warning signs the hurricane was coming but even today with all the advancement of early warning systems too many people still seem to be irresponsible in preparing for it or heading for safety.
As a BP you take responsibility for what's to come and prepare by boarding up your house (Mind) and not allow the hurricane to run you and your loved ones over. You even have the option of taking shelter miles away (Meds, Pdoc, Therapist) but you are the one truly responsible for how the hurricane effects you. Having the experience and responsibility to weather the storm in the right way is the name of the game. Eyes has shown us he has the experience and responsibility to know when to drive as fast as he can to avoid the hurricane all together. We all know that the whole family can be affected by the decisions of the BP and if they want us to ride out the storm with them we must take responsibility for making that decision ourselves. Unfortunately our children don't have the choice sometimes of being able to run from the hurricane. The non-BP spouse must take responsibility for the children when the BP chooses to be irresponsible and not take proper precautions in preparing for the hurricanes arrival.
In my situation being with a unmedicated BP she has no interest in even acknowledge a Cat 5 hurricane is looming right off shore. I know it's coming but she has the control of boarding up the house and running for shelter. She has chosen for years just to ignore it and the hurricane continues to destroy every piece of the house almost to the point of total destruction. Due to her irresponsibility in accepting the hurricane is even there I've decided I must run for higher ground without her. I can't continue to rebuild a house that keeps getting torn down. It hurts to know she is still back in the house about to be run over by a Cat 5 hurricane but until she sees her house destroyed over and over will she be able to see it's not worth it and seek higher ground herself. It's even worse for my wife because her family and friends will fly in from out of state to enable her riding the storm out rather then give her solid advice on not even trying to ride it out.
To everyone here, we must remember there are many people far away from BP that also choose to be irresponsible and ride out these storms meaning you don't necessarily have to be BP to be caught in a hurricane of irresponsibility. Eyes has built himself the best hurricane proof house on the planet. I commend him on his foresight to know when the storm is approaching and how to completely avoid it for 23 years now.
It's taken many years to come up with the best way to deal with these hurricanes but it can be done if we all really use what's there. I often try to compare BP to other things in life as it sometimes makes it easier for us non-BP's to understand something that's made little sense to us.
God Bless...........U&A
U&A...... BTW, I feel that you are now on your way of Not being Used & Abused any more.
You have just given one of the best metaphors on BPD that has ever been written.Truly your figure of speech expressing when one thing (BP)is spoken as if it were another (Hurricane),is something that is out of this world. You have an amaizing,creative ability to write.I might suggest that you may want to check out bpMagazine. They are always looking for writers with your abilities. BP Magazine,PO Box 59,Buffalo,NY 14250. In the most resent winter issue, is an article about myself. "Five Generations-Understanding the Past- Building the Future". This article all but supports my 23 years of stability.
Oh,I have hurricane mobile shutters on all windows and total coverage on my
Lanai. We are even going to be better protected with installing Acrylic Horizonal Sliders on Monday of next week. So.... even though I plan ahead for the worst hurricane here in FL.....I am constantly monitoring my own biochemical hurricane.....so far; responsibility has kept it bay :)
Yes, God Blesses,
Eyes
You know, your state of Florida is an easy comparison to BP. Since eternity Hurricanes (BP) have hit that state. Most of the time it's a beautiful tranquil place to bask in the sun (Stability). Even 30 years ago there were always warning signs the hurricane was coming but even today with all the advancement of early warning systems too many people still seem to be irresponsible in preparing for it or heading for safety.
As a BP you take responsibility for what's to come and prepare by boarding up your house (Mind) and not allow the hurricane to run you and your loved ones over. You even have the option of taking shelter miles away (Meds, Pdoc, Therapist) but you are the one truly responsible for how the hurricane effects you. Having the experience and responsibility to weather the storm in the right way is the name of the game. Eyes has shown us he has the experience and responsibility to know when to drive as fast as he can to avoid the hurricane all together. We all know that the whole family can be affected by the decisions of the BP and if they want us to ride out the storm with them we must take responsibility for making that decision ourselves. Unfortunately our children don't have the choice sometimes of being able to run from the hurricane. The non-BP spouse must take responsibility for the children when the BP chooses to be irresponsible and not take proper precautions in preparing for the hurricanes arrival.
In my situation being with a unmedicated BP she has no interest in even acknowledge a Cat 5 hurricane is looming right off shore. I know it's coming but she has the control of boarding up the house and running for shelter. She has chosen for years just to ignore it and the hurricane continues to destroy every piece of the house almost to the point of total destruction. Due to her irresponsibility in accepting the hurricane is even there I've decided I must run for higher ground without her. I can't continue to rebuild a house that keeps getting torn down. It hurts to know she is still back in the house about to be run over by a Cat 5 hurricane but until she sees her house destroyed over and over will she be able to see it's not worth it and seek higher ground herself. It's even worse for my wife because her family and friends will fly in from out of state to enable her riding the storm out rather then give her solid advice on not even trying to ride it out.
To everyone here, we must remember there are many people far away from BP that also choose to be irresponsible and ride out these storms meaning you don't necessarily have to be BP to be caught in a hurricane of irresponsibility. Eyes has built himself the best hurricane proof house on the planet. I commend him on his foresight to know when the storm is approaching and how to completely avoid it for 23 years now.
It's taken many years to come up with the best way to deal with these hurricanes but it can be done if we all really use what's there. I often try to compare BP to other things in life as it sometimes makes it easier for us non-BP's to understand something that's made little sense to us.
God Bless...........U&A
U&A...... BTW, I feel that you are now on your way of Not being Used & Abused any more.
You have just given one of the best metaphors on BPD that has ever been written.Truly your figure of speech expressing when one thing (BP)is spoken as if it were another (Hurricane),is something that is out of this world. You have an amaizing,creative ability to write.I might suggest that you may want to check out bpMagazine. They are always looking for writers with your abilities. BP Magazine,PO Box 59,Buffalo,NY 14250. In the most resent winter issue, is an article about myself. "Five Generations-Understanding the Past- Building the Future". This article all but supports my 23 years of stability.
Oh,I have hurricane mobile shutters on all windows and total coverage on my
Lanai. We are even going to be better protected with installing Acrylic Horizonal Sliders on Monday of next week. So.... even though I plan ahead for the worst hurricane here in FL.....I am constantly monitoring my own biochemical hurricane.....so far; responsibility has kept it bay :)
Yes, God Blesses,
Eyes
bipolarbear
02-10-2007, 11:56 AM
I am still soaking in your latest post regarding your analogy re: BP and a hurricane. That is absolutely fantastic. My gosh, U&A, that said it better than anyathing I've read so far, especially about the part that we who are married to to unmedicated BP's sSEE THE WARNING SIGNS way, way before it blasts off into manic hell. I am suspecting more and more you are a writer, probably some prolific award winning guy we've all heard of, always on the #! best selllers list. Lots has happened since I last posted. I have to organize myself, re-read your fantastic post a few more times, then I will be back to the boards. Even if I stay away for several days, does NOT mean I don't read and follow up on your situation. I must know how you are doing and how your situation is progressing. All the best. Until next time.
Used&Abused
02-11-2007, 10:00 PM
Hi Eyes & TahoeOne,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I've always been able to express my feelings through writing very well. As for being a best selling author I only wish as it would be much easier to exit my situation. Maybe I have a 2nd calling in life and that is writing.
I really believe my creative side was being severely suppressed in the last 8 years. You only have so much energy to use each day and dealing with the roller coaster everyday gave me little time to focus on my own feelings let alone express them through writing. I will tell you both that I wrote many very intimate letters to my wife professing my love for her and how much I cared. She basically tossed them aside like junk mail or shredded them.
In the last divorce filing I took Match.com for a run shortly after the papers were filed and you wouldn't believe the response I got from the women I returned emails to. Put it this way - they loved my words so much that some even cried and wanted to meet me as soon as physically possible. I know that my intellect and ability to give someone the emotional support we all need will get me back on track sooner than later. I think I have life pretty well figured out and all I need now is someone that thinks the same.
Again - thank you for your compliments and Eyes you right my days of being Used & Abused are long gone. Sorry for not responding sooner but I had my boys since Thursday and we were out and about quite a bit this weekend.
God Bless..........U&A
Thank you so much for your kind words. I've always been able to express my feelings through writing very well. As for being a best selling author I only wish as it would be much easier to exit my situation. Maybe I have a 2nd calling in life and that is writing.
I really believe my creative side was being severely suppressed in the last 8 years. You only have so much energy to use each day and dealing with the roller coaster everyday gave me little time to focus on my own feelings let alone express them through writing. I will tell you both that I wrote many very intimate letters to my wife professing my love for her and how much I cared. She basically tossed them aside like junk mail or shredded them.
In the last divorce filing I took Match.com for a run shortly after the papers were filed and you wouldn't believe the response I got from the women I returned emails to. Put it this way - they loved my words so much that some even cried and wanted to meet me as soon as physically possible. I know that my intellect and ability to give someone the emotional support we all need will get me back on track sooner than later. I think I have life pretty well figured out and all I need now is someone that thinks the same.
Again - thank you for your compliments and Eyes you right my days of being Used & Abused are long gone. Sorry for not responding sooner but I had my boys since Thursday and we were out and about quite a bit this weekend.
God Bless..........U&A
EYESTWO22
02-13-2007, 08:42 AM
U&A (no longer that) and all who have posted on this thread :
A new commer has joined the Board. fight4myfamily with her thread :
Re: Please help me...
Eyes welcomes her and all you who have already posted in support of her :)
Eyes
"Let's work the problem...."
Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
A new commer has joined the Board. fight4myfamily with her thread :
Re: Please help me...
Eyes welcomes her and all you who have already posted in support of her :)
Eyes
"Let's work the problem...."
Ed Harris (Apollo 13)
fight4myfamily
02-13-2007, 08:23 PM
Wow, just wow. Is that enough for now??!!
These five pages have had a HUGE impact on me. All of this stuff roaming around in my head now seems to fit better. The 'hurricane' analagy is unbelievably perfect and easy enough to explain even to a child - and i will use it and feel confidant that my littlies will make more sense of this than anything else I have told them in the past. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.
I agree that used and abused is no longer so, you have come so far and i know it wasn't easy. Just as it won't be easy to go backwards from here as you are obviously still hurting so much.
When I joined this forum a few short days ago I was so lost and was most definately feeling sorry for myself. I was stuck tight in a bad place and didnt know how to go forwards or backwards. I spend a lot of time on the PC and surfing the web and I now know that it wasn't just by chance that an unrelated link led me here. I am far from religious but I do believe in fate and rightfully so after this!
I hope one day to be on the other end of this rollercoaster and be in a position to help others like you have me. I know my hubby, kids and I have a long, long way to go but you really have given me the strength to hang in there a little longer and to keep on fighting.
If the two of you are my 'yardstick' to measure success by then it is most certainly worth the effort. THANKYOU!.
These five pages have had a HUGE impact on me. All of this stuff roaming around in my head now seems to fit better. The 'hurricane' analagy is unbelievably perfect and easy enough to explain even to a child - and i will use it and feel confidant that my littlies will make more sense of this than anything else I have told them in the past. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart.
I agree that used and abused is no longer so, you have come so far and i know it wasn't easy. Just as it won't be easy to go backwards from here as you are obviously still hurting so much.
When I joined this forum a few short days ago I was so lost and was most definately feeling sorry for myself. I was stuck tight in a bad place and didnt know how to go forwards or backwards. I spend a lot of time on the PC and surfing the web and I now know that it wasn't just by chance that an unrelated link led me here. I am far from religious but I do believe in fate and rightfully so after this!
I hope one day to be on the other end of this rollercoaster and be in a position to help others like you have me. I know my hubby, kids and I have a long, long way to go but you really have given me the strength to hang in there a little longer and to keep on fighting.
If the two of you are my 'yardstick' to measure success by then it is most certainly worth the effort. THANKYOU!.
Used&Abused
02-14-2007, 02:42 PM
Hi fight4myfamily,
I'm happy to see this thread had the impact it did. I've had over 2 months on this board to gain the insight to make some great posts and I'm so happy it has touched so many people. I, like you, was so confused for so long on how to handle and make sense of it all. This board has helped me in more ways than I can begin to tell you.
I hope that you can find the happiness you deserve. If your husband is willing to take the approach EYES has he has a great chance at stability. Bipolar must be managed on a minute by minute basis and if they let it go for just a short time the nightmare can return very quickly. My wife was dx in 2005 but basically brushed the dx aside and thought she could solve it all in marriage counseling. My current situation obviously shows you that didn't work. You have a tough road ahead to get him stable but if your going to stick it out you will need a lot of patience as it doesn't happen overnight and sometimes can take 2-3 years to find the right meds.
God Bless................U&A
I'm happy to see this thread had the impact it did. I've had over 2 months on this board to gain the insight to make some great posts and I'm so happy it has touched so many people. I, like you, was so confused for so long on how to handle and make sense of it all. This board has helped me in more ways than I can begin to tell you.
I hope that you can find the happiness you deserve. If your husband is willing to take the approach EYES has he has a great chance at stability. Bipolar must be managed on a minute by minute basis and if they let it go for just a short time the nightmare can return very quickly. My wife was dx in 2005 but basically brushed the dx aside and thought she could solve it all in marriage counseling. My current situation obviously shows you that didn't work. You have a tough road ahead to get him stable but if your going to stick it out you will need a lot of patience as it doesn't happen overnight and sometimes can take 2-3 years to find the right meds.
God Bless................U&A
fight4myfamily
02-14-2007, 07:29 PM
Now that's scary, I definately don't have 2 or 3 years! It's been 8 already and I have no idea how I made it this far.
The last year has been the worst and it has drained me to near empty. I know there is no quick fix but I am holding out on the hope that medication will enable him to be even a small part of the man I married and love. The man that he is now is impossible to even like and it takes all my strength just to see the good in him.
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
Anyway, having you guys for support will make a very big difference and hopefully give me the strength to battle through a little longer than I would have. I know he is worth it, and so am I and the kiddies and that's the most important thing I guess.
E
The last year has been the worst and it has drained me to near empty. I know there is no quick fix but I am holding out on the hope that medication will enable him to be even a small part of the man I married and love. The man that he is now is impossible to even like and it takes all my strength just to see the good in him.
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
Anyway, having you guys for support will make a very big difference and hopefully give me the strength to battle through a little longer than I would have. I know he is worth it, and so am I and the kiddies and that's the most important thing I guess.
E
4support
02-14-2007, 09:11 PM
Hi again fight4myfamily:
One thing I can tell you is that it is definetely not an easy road to find the right doctor/med-mix, etc...I, like you, am trying to remember the man I met and fell in love with 11 yrs ago. Sometimes I have no idea where he is. I know the love and values are there buried underneath all this, that coupled with the fact that I still love him and we have 2 small children, is what gives me hope that we will somehow get this under control. I used to think I was a very strong person but I do feel worn out by this.
The thing that scares me is that this could be a lifelong struggle - hopefully better most of the time, but the possibility will always be there for cycles and downfalls. Part of these cycles cause distortion of thoughts, emotions and perceptions, which also has me questioning what he really believes.
I am patiently waiting for my husband to stopy being in denial 1/2 the time and finally accept his dx 100% and be 100% committed to managing it for his own good, and because he wants our family to be together and healthy.
I wish you strength, peace, direction and lots of luck on this journey!
Take good care.
4support
One thing I can tell you is that it is definetely not an easy road to find the right doctor/med-mix, etc...I, like you, am trying to remember the man I met and fell in love with 11 yrs ago. Sometimes I have no idea where he is. I know the love and values are there buried underneath all this, that coupled with the fact that I still love him and we have 2 small children, is what gives me hope that we will somehow get this under control. I used to think I was a very strong person but I do feel worn out by this.
The thing that scares me is that this could be a lifelong struggle - hopefully better most of the time, but the possibility will always be there for cycles and downfalls. Part of these cycles cause distortion of thoughts, emotions and perceptions, which also has me questioning what he really believes.
I am patiently waiting for my husband to stopy being in denial 1/2 the time and finally accept his dx 100% and be 100% committed to managing it for his own good, and because he wants our family to be together and healthy.
I wish you strength, peace, direction and lots of luck on this journey!
Take good care.
4support
Eileen123
02-14-2007, 09:30 PM
I MUST USE ALL CAPS, SORRY.
WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. I AM BI-POLAR, AMONG OTHER LABELS. I HATE LABELS. BEHIND EACH LABLE IS JUST A PERSON WHO IS SUFFERING, LIKE THE REST OF US. MY 12 YEAR OLD SON HAS ADHD, SPINA-BIFIDA, AUTISM, A GROWTH PROBLEM, AND HE HEARS VOICES. TALK ABOUT SPECIAL NEEDS. WE ARE DEFINITELY A SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILY. I AGREE WITH THE PERSON :wave: WHOSE THREAD YOU WERE RESPONDING TO. HE WAS RIGHT ON WITH HIS INFO. YOU ARE, OVIOUSLY, GOING THROUGH A DIFFICULT TIME. I AM GLAD YOU SHARED YOUR STORY. PEOPLE LIKE US HAVE TO REACH OUT AND GET ALL THE HELP WE CAN. I JUST FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE WHO, FOR WHATEVER REASON, ARE UNABLE TO BE THEIR OWN ADVOCATE. FOR MANY YEARS, I WAS UNABLE TO DO THAT FOR MYSELF, DUE TO LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM. DID NOT FEEL LIKE I DESERVED HELP. TO CHANGE ALOT OF THINGS IN OUR LIVES, WE HAVE TO GET TO THE POINT WHERE STAYING WHERE WE ARE IS MORE PAINFUL, AND UNBEARABLE, THAN THE POSSIBLE PAIN OR RISKS INVOLVED IN CHANGING. HANG IN THERE.
WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. I AM BI-POLAR, AMONG OTHER LABELS. I HATE LABELS. BEHIND EACH LABLE IS JUST A PERSON WHO IS SUFFERING, LIKE THE REST OF US. MY 12 YEAR OLD SON HAS ADHD, SPINA-BIFIDA, AUTISM, A GROWTH PROBLEM, AND HE HEARS VOICES. TALK ABOUT SPECIAL NEEDS. WE ARE DEFINITELY A SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILY. I AGREE WITH THE PERSON :wave: WHOSE THREAD YOU WERE RESPONDING TO. HE WAS RIGHT ON WITH HIS INFO. YOU ARE, OVIOUSLY, GOING THROUGH A DIFFICULT TIME. I AM GLAD YOU SHARED YOUR STORY. PEOPLE LIKE US HAVE TO REACH OUT AND GET ALL THE HELP WE CAN. I JUST FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE WHO, FOR WHATEVER REASON, ARE UNABLE TO BE THEIR OWN ADVOCATE. FOR MANY YEARS, I WAS UNABLE TO DO THAT FOR MYSELF, DUE TO LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM. DID NOT FEEL LIKE I DESERVED HELP. TO CHANGE ALOT OF THINGS IN OUR LIVES, WE HAVE TO GET TO THE POINT WHERE STAYING WHERE WE ARE IS MORE PAINFUL, AND UNBEARABLE, THAN THE POSSIBLE PAIN OR RISKS INVOLVED IN CHANGING. HANG IN THERE.
coffeegirl2
02-14-2007, 11:33 PM
Eileen:
I too, have a son with ADHD and a few other dx's too. He struggles daily with his behaviors and emotions, keeping them under control. And, he too, is on meds.
Changing is a way of learning and coping with the challenges that we face every day with our children who have these needs. That is what I am starting to learn; the hard way. I could go on, and also I am starting to learn that if I don't speak up, at school, I too, get walked on as well. grr. :mad: He has been made fun of due to his schoolwork and behaviors. His teacher loses her patience with him as well. She does not understand his illness', as did his former teacher in Kindergarten.
That is way off of the subject. Anyway......
Learning how to deal and cope with lifes challenges is a gift. That is how I view it.
Take care Eileen. Hope to see you around again soon. :)
Coffeegirl
I too, have a son with ADHD and a few other dx's too. He struggles daily with his behaviors and emotions, keeping them under control. And, he too, is on meds.
Changing is a way of learning and coping with the challenges that we face every day with our children who have these needs. That is what I am starting to learn; the hard way. I could go on, and also I am starting to learn that if I don't speak up, at school, I too, get walked on as well. grr. :mad: He has been made fun of due to his schoolwork and behaviors. His teacher loses her patience with him as well. She does not understand his illness', as did his former teacher in Kindergarten.
That is way off of the subject. Anyway......
Learning how to deal and cope with lifes challenges is a gift. That is how I view it.
Take care Eileen. Hope to see you around again soon. :)
Coffeegirl
EYESTWO22
02-15-2007, 09:30 AM
Now that's scary, I definately don't have 2 or 3 years! It's been 8 already and I have no idea how I made it this far.
The last year has been the worst and it has drained me to near empty. I know there is no quick fix but I am holding out on the hope that medication will enable him to be even a small part of the man I married and love. The man that he is now is impossible to even like and it takes all my strength just to see the good in him.
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
Anyway, having you guys for support will make a very big difference and hopefully give me the strength to battle through a little longer than I would have. I know he is worth it, and so am I and the kiddies and that's the most important thing I guess.
E
Yes it is scary. However if you have a will to perservere,you can succeed. If your husband wants to fight "4 the Family"as much a much as you, than with proper meds,pdocs and tharapy;both of you will succeed. It took me a long time to gain my stability. I could not of done it without the love and support of of my wife. Yes, she threatend divoice,she put her foot down the last time I was hosbitalized. She told me "either I accept responsibility for my Actions with BPD,or I'm leaving you" That was 23 years ago. I found out that a biochemical imbalance does not have control our lives. We can control it. It can be Balanced !
A lot of you here on this board and posting on this Thread, know my story. It can be found in bpMagazine,the winter issure. Five Generations and history dealing with BPD. I just hope that my message bleeds through the pain and suffering that U&A and all of you Non-BPer spouses have to endure.
Please continue to come for support on this thread. Share your pain ...both BPer and Non-BPers. We all have one thing in common...the knowledge that BPD is a disease and that IF we take complete control of or actions,and Full Responsibility for the dx;we can live a life,with our Families, in Stability :)
Carry On ... And God Bless... (quote U&A)
Eyes
I have everday...the last 23 years to prove it !
The last year has been the worst and it has drained me to near empty. I know there is no quick fix but I am holding out on the hope that medication will enable him to be even a small part of the man I married and love. The man that he is now is impossible to even like and it takes all my strength just to see the good in him.
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
Anyway, having you guys for support will make a very big difference and hopefully give me the strength to battle through a little longer than I would have. I know he is worth it, and so am I and the kiddies and that's the most important thing I guess.
E
Yes it is scary. However if you have a will to perservere,you can succeed. If your husband wants to fight "4 the Family"as much a much as you, than with proper meds,pdocs and tharapy;both of you will succeed. It took me a long time to gain my stability. I could not of done it without the love and support of of my wife. Yes, she threatend divoice,she put her foot down the last time I was hosbitalized. She told me "either I accept responsibility for my Actions with BPD,or I'm leaving you" That was 23 years ago. I found out that a biochemical imbalance does not have control our lives. We can control it. It can be Balanced !
A lot of you here on this board and posting on this Thread, know my story. It can be found in bpMagazine,the winter issure. Five Generations and history dealing with BPD. I just hope that my message bleeds through the pain and suffering that U&A and all of you Non-BPer spouses have to endure.
Please continue to come for support on this thread. Share your pain ...both BPer and Non-BPers. We all have one thing in common...the knowledge that BPD is a disease and that IF we take complete control of or actions,and Full Responsibility for the dx;we can live a life,with our Families, in Stability :)
Carry On ... And God Bless... (quote U&A)
Eyes
I have everday...the last 23 years to prove it !
goody2shuz
02-15-2007, 09:43 AM
Eyes ~ Just a BIG thanks for all that you share to offer the constant supply of "HOPE & FAITH" that us nonBPers need to get through each and everyday.
For me, I am in a good place (that doesn't mean, as I have learned, that it will be that way tomorrow;) ) but I am enjoying it's blessings knowing that when the time comes that it is otherwise I always have the memory of where I have been and hope of getting back there again.
I guess for me, it is so much easier to look at today than worrying about the future. If I look to the future it is rather scary thinking about how it might be for Erin, but I have learned that there is not much I can really do about it so why even allow it to bring me down. Sometimes that is easier said than done but I always try to remember that.
I often have a song going through my head when I find myself faced with fears and concerns about the future. A sweet angelic voice sings these words....
" One day at a time, sweet Jesus....that's all I'm asking you for, give me the chance for me to do what I have to do. Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus, what tomorrow may bring I don't know.....give me the chance for me to do what I have to do...what I have to do!!!":angel:
I thought I would share it because it really helps get me through those scary days.
Hoping that the days ahead are good for everybody here ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
For me, I am in a good place (that doesn't mean, as I have learned, that it will be that way tomorrow;) ) but I am enjoying it's blessings knowing that when the time comes that it is otherwise I always have the memory of where I have been and hope of getting back there again.
I guess for me, it is so much easier to look at today than worrying about the future. If I look to the future it is rather scary thinking about how it might be for Erin, but I have learned that there is not much I can really do about it so why even allow it to bring me down. Sometimes that is easier said than done but I always try to remember that.
I often have a song going through my head when I find myself faced with fears and concerns about the future. A sweet angelic voice sings these words....
" One day at a time, sweet Jesus....that's all I'm asking you for, give me the chance for me to do what I have to do. Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus, what tomorrow may bring I don't know.....give me the chance for me to do what I have to do...what I have to do!!!":angel:
I thought I would share it because it really helps get me through those scary days.
Hoping that the days ahead are good for everybody here ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
EYESTWO22
02-15-2007, 02:49 PM
Eyes ~ Just a BIG thanks for all that you share to offer the constant supply of "HOPE & FAITH" that us nonBPers need to get through each and everyday.
For me, I am in a good place (that doesn't mean, as I have learned, that it will be that way tomorrow;) ) but I am enjoying it's blessings knowing that when the time comes that it is otherwise I always have the memory of where I have been and hope of getting back there again.
I guess for me, it is so much easier to look at today than worrying about the future. If I look to the future it is rather scary thinking about how it might be for Erin, but I have learned that there is not much I can really do about it so why even allow it to bring me down. Sometimes that is easier said than done but I always try to remember that.
I often have a song going through my head when I find myself faced with fears and concerns about the future. A sweet angelic voice sings these words....
" One day at a time, sweet Jesus....that's all I'm asking you for, give me the chance for me to do what I have to do. Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus, what tomorrow may bring I don't know.....give me the chance for me to do what I have to do...what I have to do!!!":angel:
I thought I would share it because it really helps get me through those scary days.
Hoping that the days ahead are good for everybody here ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody :
Yes it is...."One day at a time.sweet Jesus."
It has occured to me that this time consept is truly the answer with dealing with BPD. Most of you here on this Forum know my BP history. (And some may be sick and tired of hearing me harping on my 23 years of emotional stability.) During those trying years, I can truly say that then,and now, BPD is "one day at a time". It also speaks true for spouses dealing with ups and downs of their BP mates.
When I was dxed in 1970. the only support I had was my wife. the only mood stabilizer was just being aproved by FDA,Lithium. Pdocs had little knowledge about BPD ( called manic/depression then). Of course, we had no PCs and no support Forms at that time. My wife and I had to tough it out. Five episodes later, in 1984, I started to take my own responsibilty for my BPD. And my wife took her responsibility to give support. With Lithium and tharapy we succeeded.
One day at a time.....for 23 years......and we are still doing it :)
Sorry, if any of you are offended by my factual history of being able to control BP;than least you know that it is possible........"one day ata time"
Carry on...
Eyes
For me, I am in a good place (that doesn't mean, as I have learned, that it will be that way tomorrow;) ) but I am enjoying it's blessings knowing that when the time comes that it is otherwise I always have the memory of where I have been and hope of getting back there again.
I guess for me, it is so much easier to look at today than worrying about the future. If I look to the future it is rather scary thinking about how it might be for Erin, but I have learned that there is not much I can really do about it so why even allow it to bring me down. Sometimes that is easier said than done but I always try to remember that.
I often have a song going through my head when I find myself faced with fears and concerns about the future. A sweet angelic voice sings these words....
" One day at a time, sweet Jesus....that's all I'm asking you for, give me the chance for me to do what I have to do. Yesterday's gone, sweet Jesus, what tomorrow may bring I don't know.....give me the chance for me to do what I have to do...what I have to do!!!":angel:
I thought I would share it because it really helps get me through those scary days.
Hoping that the days ahead are good for everybody here ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody :
Yes it is...."One day at a time.sweet Jesus."
It has occured to me that this time consept is truly the answer with dealing with BPD. Most of you here on this Forum know my BP history. (And some may be sick and tired of hearing me harping on my 23 years of emotional stability.) During those trying years, I can truly say that then,and now, BPD is "one day at a time". It also speaks true for spouses dealing with ups and downs of their BP mates.
When I was dxed in 1970. the only support I had was my wife. the only mood stabilizer was just being aproved by FDA,Lithium. Pdocs had little knowledge about BPD ( called manic/depression then). Of course, we had no PCs and no support Forms at that time. My wife and I had to tough it out. Five episodes later, in 1984, I started to take my own responsibilty for my BPD. And my wife took her responsibility to give support. With Lithium and tharapy we succeeded.
One day at a time.....for 23 years......and we are still doing it :)
Sorry, if any of you are offended by my factual history of being able to control BP;than least you know that it is possible........"one day ata time"
Carry on...
Eyes
sublime71137
02-15-2007, 02:55 PM
Goody :
Yes it is...."One day at a time.sweet Jesus."
It has occured to me that this time consept is truly the answer with dealing with BPD. Most of you here on this Forum know my BP history. (And some may be sick and tired of hearing me harping on my 23 years of emotional stability.) During those trying years, I can truly say that then,and now, BPD is "one day at a time". It also speaks true for spouses dealing with ups and downs of their BP mates.
When I was dxed in 1970. the only support I had was my wife. the only mood stabilizer was just being aproved by FDA,Lithium. Pdocs had little knowledge about BPD ( called manic/depression then). Of course, we had no PCs and no support Forms at that time. My wife and I had to tough it out. Five episodes later, in 1984, I started to take my own responsibilty for my BPD. And my wife took her responsibility to give support. With Lithium and tharapy we succeeded.
One day at a time.....for 23 years......and we are still doing it :)
Sorry, if any of you are offended by my factual history of being able to control BP;than least you know that it is possible........"one day ata time"
Carry on...
Eyes
Lithium is a magical little pill:angel: :)
Yes it is...."One day at a time.sweet Jesus."
It has occured to me that this time consept is truly the answer with dealing with BPD. Most of you here on this Forum know my BP history. (And some may be sick and tired of hearing me harping on my 23 years of emotional stability.) During those trying years, I can truly say that then,and now, BPD is "one day at a time". It also speaks true for spouses dealing with ups and downs of their BP mates.
When I was dxed in 1970. the only support I had was my wife. the only mood stabilizer was just being aproved by FDA,Lithium. Pdocs had little knowledge about BPD ( called manic/depression then). Of course, we had no PCs and no support Forms at that time. My wife and I had to tough it out. Five episodes later, in 1984, I started to take my own responsibilty for my BPD. And my wife took her responsibility to give support. With Lithium and tharapy we succeeded.
One day at a time.....for 23 years......and we are still doing it :)
Sorry, if any of you are offended by my factual history of being able to control BP;than least you know that it is possible........"one day ata time"
Carry on...
Eyes
Lithium is a magical little pill:angel: :)
EYESTWO22
02-15-2007, 03:04 PM
Yes it is,Sublime... however it is only as good as the BP taking responsibility for his/her actions. And always taking it as directed :) :) :)
Eyes
Eyes
Eileen123
02-17-2007, 01:57 AM
[QUOTE=teresa2007;2785970]I guess that explains why i am a basket case and cant
HI. I MUST USE ALL CAPS, SORRY. YOU HAVE RECOGNISED YOUR NEED FOR TREATMENT, AND THAT IS THE PLACE TO START. DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN (RE-BASKET CASE), THERE ARE ENOUGH PEOPLE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD TO DO THAT FOR YOU. YOU HAVE TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL THE DOCTORS EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU. PLEASE, ONCE YOU DO GET SOME TREATMENT, STAY ON YOUR MEDS!
THE FIRST TIME I WAS ON MEDS, THE DARNED DOCTOR NEVER TOLD ME WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I TRIED TO TAKE MYSELF OFF THEM. BOY, DID I FIND OUT. I WENT COMPLETELY PSYCHO!
IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO BE ON MEDS, BECAUSE OF THE MILLIONS OF SIDE EFFECTS. GOD BLESS, EILEEN.
HI. I MUST USE ALL CAPS, SORRY. YOU HAVE RECOGNISED YOUR NEED FOR TREATMENT, AND THAT IS THE PLACE TO START. DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN (RE-BASKET CASE), THERE ARE ENOUGH PEOPLE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD TO DO THAT FOR YOU. YOU HAVE TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. NO ONE ELSE CAN TELL THE DOCTORS EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU. PLEASE, ONCE YOU DO GET SOME TREATMENT, STAY ON YOUR MEDS!
THE FIRST TIME I WAS ON MEDS, THE DARNED DOCTOR NEVER TOLD ME WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I TRIED TO TAKE MYSELF OFF THEM. BOY, DID I FIND OUT. I WENT COMPLETELY PSYCHO!
IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO BE ON MEDS, BECAUSE OF THE MILLIONS OF SIDE EFFECTS. GOD BLESS, EILEEN.
goody2shuz
02-17-2007, 12:00 PM
One day at a time.....for 23 years......and we are still doing it :)
Sorry, if any of you are offended by my factual history of being able to control BP;than least you know that it is possible........"one day ata time"
Carry on...
Eyes Eyes ~ Took me a while to respond here, but I think I speak for most when I say that your "factual history" offers many hope and inspiration here, so keep on tooting that horn because we really need to hear the encouragement and the positive effects of taking "one day at a time" and holding onto "hope & faith".;) And of course the power that having an optimistic outlook can be for us added to the meds!!!:blob_fire
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Sorry, if any of you are offended by my factual history of being able to control BP;than least you know that it is possible........"one day ata time"
Carry on...
Eyes Eyes ~ Took me a while to respond here, but I think I speak for most when I say that your "factual history" offers many hope and inspiration here, so keep on tooting that horn because we really need to hear the encouragement and the positive effects of taking "one day at a time" and holding onto "hope & faith".;) And of course the power that having an optimistic outlook can be for us added to the meds!!!:blob_fire
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
marshmallow
02-17-2007, 09:46 PM
Fight4myfamily you said
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
I know you did not mean any harm but I just do not think leaving is always cruel. Sometimes we have to in order to save ourselves. I hope in your case that your husband gets better and you can have a happy life together. I do think the comparison is not quite the same because having cancer or being in a wheelchair does not make one do the things an unmedicated bp does. I do wish you the best and hope you will understand sometimes we just have to leave. Thanks.
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
I know you did not mean any harm but I just do not think leaving is always cruel. Sometimes we have to in order to save ourselves. I hope in your case that your husband gets better and you can have a happy life together. I do think the comparison is not quite the same because having cancer or being in a wheelchair does not make one do the things an unmedicated bp does. I do wish you the best and hope you will understand sometimes we just have to leave. Thanks.
EYESTWO22
02-17-2007, 11:09 PM
Fight4myfamily you said
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
I know you did not mean any harm but I just do not think leaving is always cruel. Sometimes we have to in order to save ourselves. I hope in your case that your husband gets better and you can have a happy life together. I do think the comparison is not quite the same because having cancer or being in a wheelchair does not make one do the things an unmedicated bp does. I do wish you the best and hope you will understand sometimes we just have to leave. Thanks.
marshmallow :
You are an amazing person....You have every right to feel the way you do.
Your spouse did not want to be medicateded for you sake (or his).... and I'm so sorry,for that. You have to continue your life with out him, now. And as you said..."and hope you will understand sometimes we just have to leave"
I truly understand that it has to,sometimes, lead to this.
Fight4myfamily :
For you I can only support what you said :... "It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them."
Thank God my wife did not walk away from me when I entered the hospital 23 years ago when I was at rock bottom. I knew then that I had to take total responsibilty fro my life. And I did...
You may feel that it will be a long haul for you,the kids,and your hubby;however,where there is a WILL, there is a WAY:)
Please know that I am on your side....as long as you hubby takes his responsibility too. For your sake...the Family's sake....amd HIS sake.
Carry on ... and God Bless
Eyes
It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them. I would never leave him if her had cancer or was in a wheelchair so leaving him because of a chemical imbalance seems so cruel and IS cruel.
I know you did not mean any harm but I just do not think leaving is always cruel. Sometimes we have to in order to save ourselves. I hope in your case that your husband gets better and you can have a happy life together. I do think the comparison is not quite the same because having cancer or being in a wheelchair does not make one do the things an unmedicated bp does. I do wish you the best and hope you will understand sometimes we just have to leave. Thanks.
marshmallow :
You are an amazing person....You have every right to feel the way you do.
Your spouse did not want to be medicateded for you sake (or his).... and I'm so sorry,for that. You have to continue your life with out him, now. And as you said..."and hope you will understand sometimes we just have to leave"
I truly understand that it has to,sometimes, lead to this.
Fight4myfamily :
For you I can only support what you said :... "It is only very early days as far as docs and medications go and I am taking it one day at a time. I know I already have one foot out the door and I know leaving him would ultimately be the best thing for me but it is so hard to give up on someone you love and walk away from them."
Thank God my wife did not walk away from me when I entered the hospital 23 years ago when I was at rock bottom. I knew then that I had to take total responsibilty fro my life. And I did...
You may feel that it will be a long haul for you,the kids,and your hubby;however,where there is a WILL, there is a WAY:)
Please know that I am on your side....as long as you hubby takes his responsibility too. For your sake...the Family's sake....amd HIS sake.
Carry on ... and God Bless
Eyes
EYESTWO22
02-17-2007, 11:37 PM
Eyes ~ Took me a while to respond here, but I think I speak for most when I say that your "factual history" offers many hope and inspiration here, so keep on tooting that horn because we really need to hear the encouragement and the positive effects of taking "one day at a time" and holding onto "hope & faith".;) And of course the power that having an optimistic outlook can be for us added to the meds!!!:blob_fire
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Thank you Goody... you are a angle ...:angel:
Well,I guess I have always have a Dream (at 23 year of stability).....to keep on "tooting that horn" for BPers. I went through so much hell that I just need to keep saying that BPD can be licked :)
People like you (on the other side) needed to know that the Dream is possible. Erin will be your Dream :) :) :)
Carry on.....
Eyes
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Thank you Goody... you are a angle ...:angel:
Well,I guess I have always have a Dream (at 23 year of stability).....to keep on "tooting that horn" for BPers. I went through so much hell that I just need to keep saying that BPD can be licked :)
People like you (on the other side) needed to know that the Dream is possible. Erin will be your Dream :) :) :)
Carry on.....
Eyes
goody2shuz
02-17-2007, 11:58 PM
......Well,I guess I have always have a Dream (at 23 year of stability).....to keep on "tooting that horn" for BPers. I went through so much hell that I just need to keep saying that BPD can be licked :)
People like you (on the other side) needed to know that the Dream is possible. Erin will be your Dream :) :) :)
Carry on.....
Eyes Thanks for sharing that Dream, Eyes!! If it weren't for you old timers (Ruth and yourself) who were constant reminders of hope and stability I may have given up long before this. And so long as there is hope I will keep on hoping. Knowing and believing it is possible only wants me to go after that dream more!!!
Now if I could only ask you for one more favor....I need lots of warmth and sunshine. We are heading to your neck of the woods tomorrow and I hear that there is a cold front but I expect it to be gone by the time we arrive!!!;) I am hoping that you have a connection with Mother Nature as well!!!:D
No matter what it'll at least be warmer than here!!!:)
Will be gone for a little bit but know that things will be okay here so long as "Eyes" keeps "tooting that horn"!!!
((((HUGS)))) to an oldie but goody ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
People like you (on the other side) needed to know that the Dream is possible. Erin will be your Dream :) :) :)
Carry on.....
Eyes Thanks for sharing that Dream, Eyes!! If it weren't for you old timers (Ruth and yourself) who were constant reminders of hope and stability I may have given up long before this. And so long as there is hope I will keep on hoping. Knowing and believing it is possible only wants me to go after that dream more!!!
Now if I could only ask you for one more favor....I need lots of warmth and sunshine. We are heading to your neck of the woods tomorrow and I hear that there is a cold front but I expect it to be gone by the time we arrive!!!;) I am hoping that you have a connection with Mother Nature as well!!!:D
No matter what it'll at least be warmer than here!!!:)
Will be gone for a little bit but know that things will be okay here so long as "Eyes" keeps "tooting that horn"!!!
((((HUGS)))) to an oldie but goody ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
marshmallow
02-18-2007, 12:09 AM
Thank you Eyes I appreciate your comment very much. This board is wonderful because we do learn so much about each other and to have compassion for everyone involved. As I have said many times before I respect the ones that take responsibility and help themselves. I know it cannot be easy. It hurts me to see my husband spiral down further and further knowing I cannot help him. He almost seems beyond help at this point. He has turned to alcohol and other people instead of trying to get help. I am touched by the caring that is shown by everyone on this message board.
EYESTWO22
02-18-2007, 08:40 AM
Thanks for sharing that Dream, Eyes!! If it weren't for you old timers (Ruth and yourself) who were constant reminders of hope and stability I may have given up long before this. And so long as there is hope I will keep on hoping. Knowing and believing it is possible only wants me to go after that dream more!!!
Now if I could only ask you for one more favor....I need lots of warmth and sunshine. We are heading to your neck of the woods tomorrow and I hear that there is a cold front but I expect it to be gone by the time we arrive!!!;) I am hoping that you have a connection with Mother Nature as well!!!:D
No matter what it'll at least be warmer than here!!!:)
Will be gone for a little bit but know that things will be okay here so long as "Eyes" keeps "tooting that horn"!!!
((((HUGS)))) to an oldie but goody ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody...I may be a "Oldie", but Goody...just know Father Time has the advantage of Knowledge :) He also has an in with Mother Nature :)
Soooooooo.The warm sun shine will be back (southwest FL).;) Temps should be 73 to 78 and may be higher later in the week. Rain Sunday Morn,but......
Hope anf Faith will support Mother Nature.:D
Have fun in the sun....we will Carry On.....
Oh Marsh......The Sun can always Shine.....on you and your hubby...
it's just a matter of controling the Clouds !
Eyes
Now if I could only ask you for one more favor....I need lots of warmth and sunshine. We are heading to your neck of the woods tomorrow and I hear that there is a cold front but I expect it to be gone by the time we arrive!!!;) I am hoping that you have a connection with Mother Nature as well!!!:D
No matter what it'll at least be warmer than here!!!:)
Will be gone for a little bit but know that things will be okay here so long as "Eyes" keeps "tooting that horn"!!!
((((HUGS)))) to an oldie but goody ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody...I may be a "Oldie", but Goody...just know Father Time has the advantage of Knowledge :) He also has an in with Mother Nature :)
Soooooooo.The warm sun shine will be back (southwest FL).;) Temps should be 73 to 78 and may be higher later in the week. Rain Sunday Morn,but......
Hope anf Faith will support Mother Nature.:D
Have fun in the sun....we will Carry On.....
Oh Marsh......The Sun can always Shine.....on you and your hubby...
it's just a matter of controling the Clouds !
Eyes
marshmallow
02-18-2007, 12:32 PM
Eyes said
Oh Marsh......The Sun can always Shine.....on you and your hubby...
it's just a matter of controling the Clouds !
Very nice!!!!
Oh Marsh......The Sun can always Shine.....on you and your hubby...
it's just a matter of controling the Clouds !
Very nice!!!!
tsohl
02-23-2007, 12:42 AM
What's happened to Used & Abused? He hasn't posted in awhile....
Used&Abused
02-23-2007, 01:20 AM
tsohl,
I'm still here but this week has been very hard on me. My wife's mania is something I wish I could forget for the rest of my life. I had no choice but to pull out the reality check and she went off the deep end. I have two little boys that are dealing not only with a seperation of their parents but a mother that seems to only care about her manic ways. I feel my life will no longer be one of being used and abused but rather one of complete happiness.
Just getting through this divorce is not as easy as I thought. In her manic ways she is attempting to of course blame it all on me. I really just want out for good and she doesn't seem to want that to happen. She was nicey - nicey until she realised I was going to question her manic actions in court and then she of course started the lying trend like no tomorrow. The tender heart I am is causing me problems but in the end if she continues to be an un-medicated BP then I have no choice but to give her the reality check she deserves.
Life is all about choices and like I've always said 10% is about what happens to us and 90% is how you react to it. My life at 34 is about to become much happier but I must realize she is part of it for many years to come as my boys are only 4 & 5. God help me get through this.
Remember - I never compare my wife to the many BP's here trying to find stability but she seems to avoid that stable life like the plauge. I wish I had all the answers but I don't. With all the money being spent on medical tech please find a cure for this sh-t now rather than later. No one deserves this disorder even if they are not the sufferer.
God Bless..............U&A
I'm still here but this week has been very hard on me. My wife's mania is something I wish I could forget for the rest of my life. I had no choice but to pull out the reality check and she went off the deep end. I have two little boys that are dealing not only with a seperation of their parents but a mother that seems to only care about her manic ways. I feel my life will no longer be one of being used and abused but rather one of complete happiness.
Just getting through this divorce is not as easy as I thought. In her manic ways she is attempting to of course blame it all on me. I really just want out for good and she doesn't seem to want that to happen. She was nicey - nicey until she realised I was going to question her manic actions in court and then she of course started the lying trend like no tomorrow. The tender heart I am is causing me problems but in the end if she continues to be an un-medicated BP then I have no choice but to give her the reality check she deserves.
Life is all about choices and like I've always said 10% is about what happens to us and 90% is how you react to it. My life at 34 is about to become much happier but I must realize she is part of it for many years to come as my boys are only 4 & 5. God help me get through this.
Remember - I never compare my wife to the many BP's here trying to find stability but she seems to avoid that stable life like the plauge. I wish I had all the answers but I don't. With all the money being spent on medical tech please find a cure for this sh-t now rather than later. No one deserves this disorder even if they are not the sufferer.
God Bless..............U&A
Used&Abused
02-23-2007, 01:53 AM
TO Eyes:
You have been an inspiration to all of us regardless of us being BP or Non-BP. I have respect like no tomorrow for people that go beyond the call of duty. You have done the homework and you are stable for only one reason. You took responsibility for your situation in life and didn't avoid it. Sure... the first 14 years of your marriage were not paradise but at least you figured it out. I respect you more than you know for all the opitmistic help you give so many people here.
I know that my words of understanding have touch many hear in the last couple of weeks but in the end I hurt in seeing so many people going through the same exact thing as me. I wish this whole disorder would just vanish from this earth. I know that is wishful thinking but my going to mass every week you can bet one thing and that is I'm praying God finds a way to rid us of it.
Sorry - for taking a break from the forum but sometimes dealing with BP in reality takes away from being able to express it on the forum. I love everyone here doing there best to deal with it and I always will have the utmost respect for those that take control like EYES.
God Bless..........U&A
You have been an inspiration to all of us regardless of us being BP or Non-BP. I have respect like no tomorrow for people that go beyond the call of duty. You have done the homework and you are stable for only one reason. You took responsibility for your situation in life and didn't avoid it. Sure... the first 14 years of your marriage were not paradise but at least you figured it out. I respect you more than you know for all the opitmistic help you give so many people here.
I know that my words of understanding have touch many hear in the last couple of weeks but in the end I hurt in seeing so many people going through the same exact thing as me. I wish this whole disorder would just vanish from this earth. I know that is wishful thinking but my going to mass every week you can bet one thing and that is I'm praying God finds a way to rid us of it.
Sorry - for taking a break from the forum but sometimes dealing with BP in reality takes away from being able to express it on the forum. I love everyone here doing there best to deal with it and I always will have the utmost respect for those that take control like EYES.
God Bless..........U&A
suddenlyhere
02-23-2007, 01:58 AM
Hi U&A
I too have been thinking about how you are going.
You are right. You will get through this, and you will be happy. Your children will get through this, and they will one day realise how lucky they are to have a dad that fought for their best interests.
We are all here to support you, like you support us all the time. You know the truth about what is going on, and one day the truth will come out. Be proud of yourself, hold your head high, you can beat this. Just take one step at a time, and one day you come around the bend and you will find a sunny lush park filled with joy.
Keep your chin up, we are with you.
Take care of yourself at the moment.
I too have been thinking about how you are going.
You are right. You will get through this, and you will be happy. Your children will get through this, and they will one day realise how lucky they are to have a dad that fought for their best interests.
We are all here to support you, like you support us all the time. You know the truth about what is going on, and one day the truth will come out. Be proud of yourself, hold your head high, you can beat this. Just take one step at a time, and one day you come around the bend and you will find a sunny lush park filled with joy.
Keep your chin up, we are with you.
Take care of yourself at the moment.
EYESTWO22
02-23-2007, 07:55 AM
TO Eyes:
You have been an inspiration to all of us regardless of us being BP or Non-BP. I have respect like no tomorrow for people that go beyond the call of duty. You have done the homework and you are stable for only one reason. You took responsibility for your situation in life and didn't avoid it. Sure... the first 14 years of your marriage were not paradise but at least you figured it out. I respect you more than you know for all the opitmistic help you give so many people here.
...... I know that is wishful thinking but my going to mass every week you can bet one thing and that is I'm praying God finds a way to rid us of it.
.......I love everyone here doing there best to deal with it and I always will have the utmost respect for those that take control like EYES.
God Bless..........U&A
Thanks for your kind words..You deserve kind words...too.
I want to share with you,what I have shared with others in another thread;
about my son :
Over 10 years ago,my son was dx BP. Today he is a Lutheran Pastor. He chose to tell his congregation agout his BPD during a faith message.He talked about learning how to live with BP. His candidness has,for the most part,been postiviely received. He told me " People come in and want to talk about BPD with me". He tells them that he wants the shame taken out of it. He says"the moment it becomes public, BPD is no longer a dirty little secret".
My son told me he has greatly benefited from my knowledge about BPD. He said,
" The dx would have been more "scary", if he had not known from me,that it is possible to lead a rich, and productive life with BPD". And he went on to say "when I'm feeling emotionally frigile, I know I can come to my parents, who will understand and support me".
My son looks back at his Greatgrandfather,Grandfather,Father, and Uncle; who all had BPD,and appreciates that he has not had to endure what they did.
"I am the beneficiary of my family's experiences" he says. " I am saddened that so many generations had to go through 'the pain' and suffering they did".
U&A ..I hope this short version of my son's story helps show you that the Med Tech business is going full steam with a cure for BPD. Both my son and myself are working with a Genetic Study at two Univeristies. (you may remember that I am a identical twin. My twin died of suicide because of untreated BPD, at age 36.)
Stay positive...remember your in that "10%" class !
Oh...Suddenly...Yes it is..just one step at a time !
Carry on....and God Bless
Eyes
You have been an inspiration to all of us regardless of us being BP or Non-BP. I have respect like no tomorrow for people that go beyond the call of duty. You have done the homework and you are stable for only one reason. You took responsibility for your situation in life and didn't avoid it. Sure... the first 14 years of your marriage were not paradise but at least you figured it out. I respect you more than you know for all the opitmistic help you give so many people here.
...... I know that is wishful thinking but my going to mass every week you can bet one thing and that is I'm praying God finds a way to rid us of it.
.......I love everyone here doing there best to deal with it and I always will have the utmost respect for those that take control like EYES.
God Bless..........U&A
Thanks for your kind words..You deserve kind words...too.
I want to share with you,what I have shared with others in another thread;
about my son :
Over 10 years ago,my son was dx BP. Today he is a Lutheran Pastor. He chose to tell his congregation agout his BPD during a faith message.He talked about learning how to live with BP. His candidness has,for the most part,been postiviely received. He told me " People come in and want to talk about BPD with me". He tells them that he wants the shame taken out of it. He says"the moment it becomes public, BPD is no longer a dirty little secret".
My son told me he has greatly benefited from my knowledge about BPD. He said,
" The dx would have been more "scary", if he had not known from me,that it is possible to lead a rich, and productive life with BPD". And he went on to say "when I'm feeling emotionally frigile, I know I can come to my parents, who will understand and support me".
My son looks back at his Greatgrandfather,Grandfather,Father, and Uncle; who all had BPD,and appreciates that he has not had to endure what they did.
"I am the beneficiary of my family's experiences" he says. " I am saddened that so many generations had to go through 'the pain' and suffering they did".
U&A ..I hope this short version of my son's story helps show you that the Med Tech business is going full steam with a cure for BPD. Both my son and myself are working with a Genetic Study at two Univeristies. (you may remember that I am a identical twin. My twin died of suicide because of untreated BPD, at age 36.)
Stay positive...remember your in that "10%" class !
Oh...Suddenly...Yes it is..just one step at a time !
Carry on....and God Bless
Eyes
marshmallow
02-24-2007, 06:26 PM
This thread was so helpful I wanted to know how everyone is doing?
EYESTWO22
02-25-2007, 04:53 PM
Thank you Eyes I appreciate your comment very much. This board is wonderful because we do learn so much about each other and to have compassion for everyone involved. As I have said many times before I respect the ones that take responsibility and help themselves. I know it cannot be easy. It hurts me to see my husband spiral down further and further knowing I cannot help him. He almost seems beyond help at this point. He has turned to alcohol and other people instead of trying to get help. I am touched by the caring that is shown by everyone on this message board.
Marsh-mallow :
I'm happy you are receiving usable info from this thread.
I have some conserns on how your hubby is doing.
Just know that if you give him the best loving support you can,
that will help any person with BPD.
I have never known alcohol to give back support when honest love will do the trick :)
Hang in there... and....stay mallow :D
Carry on
Eyes
Marsh-mallow :
I'm happy you are receiving usable info from this thread.
I have some conserns on how your hubby is doing.
Just know that if you give him the best loving support you can,
that will help any person with BPD.
I have never known alcohol to give back support when honest love will do the trick :)
Hang in there... and....stay mallow :D
Carry on
Eyes