purplegirl1
02-07-2007, 09:48 PM
I am soo frustrated. As I posted earlier, my husband is trying to find a job and he is having trouble. I am soooo stressed and angry that he is not working right now...we finally have saved a little bit of money that I don't want to use and I am just hoping that he has a job and we don't have to use it.. he says if we have to we have to, but I don't want to and I am obsessing over money now bad.. any advice?
Sponsor
ocdengineer
02-08-2007, 12:31 AM
You have to support him otherwise he is going to give up. It isn't easy looking for a job. Just the loss of the initial job can depress a person and make it hard to move one, so support him as best you can. If he is actively looking then there is nothing more you or he can do about it.
I wish him and you luck in his pursuits,
OE
I wish him and you luck in his pursuits,
OE
firenice
02-08-2007, 02:38 AM
Ya, just be supportive, try not to be worried as in a few months you may look back and see that there was no reason whatsoever to worry.
The obsession over money is really an obsession about power and control because that's what money represents to us. You feel out of control and with little power right now. Try to accept that and let yourself feel the reality of little if any power and control because the fact of the matter is we don't have much. It only takes a little something, like loss of a job, an earthquake, a wall street crash, a terrorist attack, a disease... to shatter our sense of control and then we become a neurotic mess. If you can learn to go moment by moment, day by day, then when your husband does get his job and things are more stable, you will feel as though you will have mastered, at least a little bit, the issue of powerlessness. If you can feel relatively comfortable and stable in situations of powerlessness, well then, you are very powerful!!
The obsession over money is really an obsession about power and control because that's what money represents to us. You feel out of control and with little power right now. Try to accept that and let yourself feel the reality of little if any power and control because the fact of the matter is we don't have much. It only takes a little something, like loss of a job, an earthquake, a wall street crash, a terrorist attack, a disease... to shatter our sense of control and then we become a neurotic mess. If you can learn to go moment by moment, day by day, then when your husband does get his job and things are more stable, you will feel as though you will have mastered, at least a little bit, the issue of powerlessness. If you can feel relatively comfortable and stable in situations of powerlessness, well then, you are very powerful!!
dgcango
02-09-2007, 02:04 AM
I think your OCD is playing a mean trick on you like it does on me. You see your biggest fear/anxiety is having bad credit, not being able to purchase groceries, etc...so your OCD makes what let you have peace unless your husband has a job. This is very tough on you because you probably have children and want to put on a happy face but the anxiety won't give you a break which turns on your OCD. So here is my idea:
1)Get Xanax! It's stops my anxiety dead in it's tracks. It also make me a little sleepy so be careful.
2) Go out--Don't spend time at home. Instead go a friends house, the book store, if you have kids take them to Toys R' Us and let them play with the toys in the store and you don't have to buy them
3)Tell you husband you love him very much.
I hope he finds a job soon!
1)Get Xanax! It's stops my anxiety dead in it's tracks. It also make me a little sleepy so be careful.
2) Go out--Don't spend time at home. Instead go a friends house, the book store, if you have kids take them to Toys R' Us and let them play with the toys in the store and you don't have to buy them
3)Tell you husband you love him very much.
I hope he finds a job soon!
ocdengineer
02-09-2007, 06:01 PM
I take Xanax as well and it does help a lot. How long have you been taking it dgcango? Also, how much do you take a day? I am taking 2 mg per day and have been for about 4 months now.
purplegirl1
02-09-2007, 09:17 PM
Hey guys,
Thanks sooo much for the advice. Just like you all said, Yes it is my OCD. I don't have any children, but that is another obsession, I constantly calculate how much money we will need and have for day care and when we can get pregnant b/c credit card debt will be paid off by this time, etc.. so as you can see I drive myself and my poor husband CRAZY!!! LOL - and to make it worse, my husband does not worry about things, he is like - "It will work out".. and I am like "oh my god we are never going to have kids, or a house, or this or that" etc... I do agree if I try to take it day by day and not look past that day then it will make each day it's own and true, by the time we may have to dip into savings, he may have a job and we wont have to... I do take luvox 150 mg, and i was recently given Xanax .25 mg, but i took 2 one night and I overslept for work, lol - so no more on work nights because it made me very very sleepy, lol, but i sooooo appreciate the advice guys, it was nice to hear it especially coming from others who have ocd...it is so hard bc my husband sometimes doesn't understand this ocd stuff and thinks that i just use it as an excuse but overall he really is good and trys to understand.. i just don't wanto worry and fight with him, i love him sooo much - ya know.. how do your wives/girlfriends or boyfriends (never know) feel about your ocd??
Thanks sooo much for the advice. Just like you all said, Yes it is my OCD. I don't have any children, but that is another obsession, I constantly calculate how much money we will need and have for day care and when we can get pregnant b/c credit card debt will be paid off by this time, etc.. so as you can see I drive myself and my poor husband CRAZY!!! LOL - and to make it worse, my husband does not worry about things, he is like - "It will work out".. and I am like "oh my god we are never going to have kids, or a house, or this or that" etc... I do agree if I try to take it day by day and not look past that day then it will make each day it's own and true, by the time we may have to dip into savings, he may have a job and we wont have to... I do take luvox 150 mg, and i was recently given Xanax .25 mg, but i took 2 one night and I overslept for work, lol - so no more on work nights because it made me very very sleepy, lol, but i sooooo appreciate the advice guys, it was nice to hear it especially coming from others who have ocd...it is so hard bc my husband sometimes doesn't understand this ocd stuff and thinks that i just use it as an excuse but overall he really is good and trys to understand.. i just don't wanto worry and fight with him, i love him sooo much - ya know.. how do your wives/girlfriends or boyfriends (never know) feel about your ocd??
ocdengineer
02-10-2007, 10:02 AM
My wife takes the "relax and calm" down stance or the "get over it" stance. Both help to some degree and she is always there to hug if I need it, so she is good about it. I mostly deal with it without her even knowing about it. When she does it is because I tell her I had a bad day and just the act of telling her helps me to start to feel better.
Later,
OE
Later,
OE
Trixibel
02-11-2007, 01:33 AM
Hi. I know what this is like. When my partner and I were first together he didn't have a job and as the months passed he got more and more depressed. It was really hard for him and I just had to stay supportive. I have OCD but it doesn't manifest itself in that sort of way. At that time we didn't have a house we were just paying rent and I was working and my wages covered the rent so that was ok. When we got pregnant my partner had a job but it was a shaky one and he got 'put on the beach' a lot - a term which means you're not working but you're not being paid but you'll get called if work comes in. I was pregnant and doing lots of temp work. It was ok and we got through and he got a job one week before our first child was born. It is hard - for him because the longer he goes without a job the more his confidence is sapped but he sounds easy going which is good. When I wasn't pregnant and he wasn't working I didn't mind so because whenever I came home there was a meal cooked for me and I loved that!!
Do any of you find xanax makes you really irritable when it's wearing off?
Do any of you find xanax makes you really irritable when it's wearing off?
purplegirl1
02-11-2007, 02:12 AM
Thanks - glad things worked for you. I am trying to be supportive it is just sooo hard for me, especially b/c I obsess over $ so much..
I found that the xanax made me very very sleepy - not sleepy when I was awake but when I went to sleepy I overslept the next morning and had such a sound sleep, hit my alarm clock, snooze, for a long time and i didn't hear or remember hearing it go off or my husband wake me. I can't take them on work nights anymore, lol...so if i am stressed really bad i will just go to bed and go to sleep so i don't have to deal...besides then i get a great nights sleep..
i don't know if it made me irritable...i will pay attention the next time i take it
I have .25 mg - what doses do you have?
I found that the xanax made me very very sleepy - not sleepy when I was awake but when I went to sleepy I overslept the next morning and had such a sound sleep, hit my alarm clock, snooze, for a long time and i didn't hear or remember hearing it go off or my husband wake me. I can't take them on work nights anymore, lol...so if i am stressed really bad i will just go to bed and go to sleep so i don't have to deal...besides then i get a great nights sleep..
i don't know if it made me irritable...i will pay attention the next time i take it
I have .25 mg - what doses do you have?
Trixibel
02-11-2007, 07:22 AM
I don't know. I got my pack a year or so ago and threw the box away so I don't know how strong they are. I break my tablets in half. I only use it for 'emergencies' but it makes me very spaced out.