BPBlue
02-11-2007, 12:46 AM
Hello,
My name is Blue and this is my first time here. I am not sure how all this works, but I really don't have any where else to go. I have been trying to deal with this illness (diagnosed for 3 and a half years) by myself and it is not working well. Everything seems to be getting worse. Each year it is harder and harder to control. The medication doesn't seem to help alot, I feel pretty much the same on it or off it.
I do things without realizing I am doing them, I have to rely on other people to let me know I am not doing well. This however is not a good thing, as it is my co-workers who point these things out to me. It was brought to my attention on friday I did not smell so good, and realized I had not showered or changed my pants or socks for a few weeks. I am slipping again. These depressions have almost become second nature.
I have been hospitalized six (6) times in the past eighteen months, I just can't do another one. The debt alone is killing me.
I feel so utterly and completly alone, I have lost my wife of twelve (12) years, a very succesful buisness, and pushed all my friends away. The only thing I have left is a beautiful little boy that needs me to be there for him.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I had to say something or i was going to explode.
Thank you,
Blue
My name is Blue and this is my first time here. I am not sure how all this works, but I really don't have any where else to go. I have been trying to deal with this illness (diagnosed for 3 and a half years) by myself and it is not working well. Everything seems to be getting worse. Each year it is harder and harder to control. The medication doesn't seem to help alot, I feel pretty much the same on it or off it.
I do things without realizing I am doing them, I have to rely on other people to let me know I am not doing well. This however is not a good thing, as it is my co-workers who point these things out to me. It was brought to my attention on friday I did not smell so good, and realized I had not showered or changed my pants or socks for a few weeks. I am slipping again. These depressions have almost become second nature.
I have been hospitalized six (6) times in the past eighteen months, I just can't do another one. The debt alone is killing me.
I feel so utterly and completly alone, I have lost my wife of twelve (12) years, a very succesful buisness, and pushed all my friends away. The only thing I have left is a beautiful little boy that needs me to be there for him.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I had to say something or i was going to explode.
Thank you,
Blue
Sponsor
jules3
02-11-2007, 01:10 AM
Are you on any medications now? there has to be something out there that can help you. Have you been seeing the same pdoc for the past 3 years?
BPBlue
02-11-2007, 01:23 AM
Are you on any medications now? there has to be something out there that can help you. Have you been seeing the same pdoc for the past 3 years?
I am currently on Zyprexa, and Vistaril, and no I have not seen the same pdoc, my current said I scared him and asked me to find a new one. I have an appointment on monday with a new pdoc.
Blue
I am currently on Zyprexa, and Vistaril, and no I have not seen the same pdoc, my current said I scared him and asked me to find a new one. I have an appointment on monday with a new pdoc.
Blue
goody2shuz
02-11-2007, 01:31 AM
Hi, BPblue:wave: Welcome!!! I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling any better than after 3 years. I have a feeling that they just haven't found the right meds for you yet. If the meds are not working then it is time that you work with a doctor to find the right ones until you do.
Please do not give up hope of feeling better. It sounds as if you have more symptoms of depression than anything else and there are meds that may help address that side of things. My daughter was just recently diagnosed and had 5 hospitalizations before they properly diagnosed and treated her. She is doing so much better now that she is on the right meds.
So I am here to let you know that there is hope and perhaps it is good that you are going to another pdoc. Sounds as if the first one didn't do very much for you, so perhaps this will be your big break.
By the way, my daughter is on Lamictal and Seroquel and that combo is working well for her.
I hope that this new doctor helps you to find the right meds. Meanwhile know that there are many people here who are willing to listen and offer you support.
Good luck and let us know how the appointment with the new pdoc goes.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Please do not give up hope of feeling better. It sounds as if you have more symptoms of depression than anything else and there are meds that may help address that side of things. My daughter was just recently diagnosed and had 5 hospitalizations before they properly diagnosed and treated her. She is doing so much better now that she is on the right meds.
So I am here to let you know that there is hope and perhaps it is good that you are going to another pdoc. Sounds as if the first one didn't do very much for you, so perhaps this will be your big break.
By the way, my daughter is on Lamictal and Seroquel and that combo is working well for her.
I hope that this new doctor helps you to find the right meds. Meanwhile know that there are many people here who are willing to listen and offer you support.
Good luck and let us know how the appointment with the new pdoc goes.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
MSLAINIE
02-11-2007, 05:27 AM
OH BLUE I'M SO SORRY YOUR SO LONELY,
I AM ANGRY TOO FOR YOU....WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR DOC WAS SCARED, I THINK HE NEEDS A NEW JOB...I AM GLAD YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TOMORROW. YOUR REAL FRIENDS WILL BE THERE WHEN YOUR READY. AS FAR AS YOUR WIFE, THINGS HAPPEN AND SOME PEOPLE CANT DEAL. I AM MSLAINIE AND MY SON IS BIPOLAR NOW 16. ITS BEEN 3 LONG LONG YEARS AND I LOST MY HUSBAND 9YEARS AGO. HE IS BIPOLAR SELF MEDICATES. MY SON ON OTHER HAND AFTER 3YEARS, MANY DOCS, PSYS, SUICIDE ATTEMPS AND HOMICIDAL THOUGHS AND MANY HOSPITAL TRIPS. IS NOW OK. HE ON DEPAKOTE AND ABILIFY. BUT IT TOOK MANY COMBO'S TO GET RIGHT. AND THERE IS HELP FOR YOU. I LOOKED UP YOUR CITY AND STATE. THERE IS A PROGRAM CALLED NAMI AND YOU CAN CALL 1-800-873-TALK 24/7. THEY HAVE MANY MANY PROGRAMS FOR YOU, FOR MEDICAL BILLS, AND PROGRAMS.
ANOTHER PHONE FOR NAMI IS 1-800-950-6264 OR YOU CAN EMAIL. THE SITE IF www.nami.org.
GOOD LUCK AND I AM SO SORRY U HAVE BEEN DOING THIS ALONE FOR SO LONG. I CANT DO IT ALONE WITHOUT BIPOLAR, DEALING WITH MY SON'S BIPOLAR. SO YOU ARE STRONG AND I AM PROUD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR HELP.
GOOD LUCK
MSLAINIE
I AM ANGRY TOO FOR YOU....WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR DOC WAS SCARED, I THINK HE NEEDS A NEW JOB...I AM GLAD YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TOMORROW. YOUR REAL FRIENDS WILL BE THERE WHEN YOUR READY. AS FAR AS YOUR WIFE, THINGS HAPPEN AND SOME PEOPLE CANT DEAL. I AM MSLAINIE AND MY SON IS BIPOLAR NOW 16. ITS BEEN 3 LONG LONG YEARS AND I LOST MY HUSBAND 9YEARS AGO. HE IS BIPOLAR SELF MEDICATES. MY SON ON OTHER HAND AFTER 3YEARS, MANY DOCS, PSYS, SUICIDE ATTEMPS AND HOMICIDAL THOUGHS AND MANY HOSPITAL TRIPS. IS NOW OK. HE ON DEPAKOTE AND ABILIFY. BUT IT TOOK MANY COMBO'S TO GET RIGHT. AND THERE IS HELP FOR YOU. I LOOKED UP YOUR CITY AND STATE. THERE IS A PROGRAM CALLED NAMI AND YOU CAN CALL 1-800-873-TALK 24/7. THEY HAVE MANY MANY PROGRAMS FOR YOU, FOR MEDICAL BILLS, AND PROGRAMS.
ANOTHER PHONE FOR NAMI IS 1-800-950-6264 OR YOU CAN EMAIL. THE SITE IF www.nami.org.
GOOD LUCK AND I AM SO SORRY U HAVE BEEN DOING THIS ALONE FOR SO LONG. I CANT DO IT ALONE WITHOUT BIPOLAR, DEALING WITH MY SON'S BIPOLAR. SO YOU ARE STRONG AND I AM PROUD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR HELP.
GOOD LUCK
MSLAINIE
BPBlue
02-11-2007, 10:59 PM
Hello again,
Thank you Jules3, goody2shuz and MSLAINIE for your input and support. I am nervous about tomarrow, having to start all over again with a new pdoc. However I have to find someone that I trust and is willing to work with me. I will go through all in my network if I have to. I just can't live like I have been.
goody2shuz- I was on Limictal for a few months at one point, but did very little for me, however I have not been on Seroquel I will ask the new pdoc about it.
MSLAINIE- Thank you for the links. As for my doc being scared, I was refered to him though the hospital after a five (5) day stay in which I was very manic. I had to be restraind chemicaly a number of times, and was very aggressive. That in combo with my history made him scared of me. He aggreed to only manage my meds till I found A new doc. This was in Jan of last year. He wrights my Rx but that is it. This pdoc offers my med management, and couseling. We shall see tomarrow how it goes.
On a good note I had my son this weekend and we cleaned the kitchen and washed my work clothes, went to the grocery, played played played. I really needed that. It is odd no matter what I have going on being with him lets me see why I am here, and why I want to stay
Thank you all again
Thank you Jules3, goody2shuz and MSLAINIE for your input and support. I am nervous about tomarrow, having to start all over again with a new pdoc. However I have to find someone that I trust and is willing to work with me. I will go through all in my network if I have to. I just can't live like I have been.
goody2shuz- I was on Limictal for a few months at one point, but did very little for me, however I have not been on Seroquel I will ask the new pdoc about it.
MSLAINIE- Thank you for the links. As for my doc being scared, I was refered to him though the hospital after a five (5) day stay in which I was very manic. I had to be restraind chemicaly a number of times, and was very aggressive. That in combo with my history made him scared of me. He aggreed to only manage my meds till I found A new doc. This was in Jan of last year. He wrights my Rx but that is it. This pdoc offers my med management, and couseling. We shall see tomarrow how it goes.
On a good note I had my son this weekend and we cleaned the kitchen and washed my work clothes, went to the grocery, played played played. I really needed that. It is odd no matter what I have going on being with him lets me see why I am here, and why I want to stay
Thank you all again
jules3
02-11-2007, 11:28 PM
Good luck..ask about lihium.
BPBlue
02-12-2007, 10:19 PM
Hello again,
Well It has been an interesting 24 hours. My mind is spinning very fast right now. I am not sure how to begin, but I had a very scary episode last night.
I had a great day with my son yesterday, logged on last night posted a few things and went to bed. That is why none of this makes sense.
I woke up this morning at 4:00 as I always do, feeling good, a little nervous about my new pdoc appointment, but overall good. I went into my office for my morning smoke, check email and such, and find only one cig in the pack. Odd since I opened it right before going to bed last night. So i head to the kitchen and right in the middle of the floor is an 18 pack of beer. Half of it is gone. Now I am really freaking out. (I have been sober since September of last year) I just kind of shut down at this point. This can not be happening. I go to get dressed for work and as I am transfering my wallet I find a reciept for the beer. It is time stamped about an hour after I went to bed. So at some point I got up, got dressed drove to the store and back, smoked a pack of cigs, drank nine beers, went back to bed, woke up at 4 feeling pretty good, with no memory whats so ever of the nights events. Ok I am offically (explative) up. So I get to work at 5:00 my head spinning, feeling out of control when about 8:00 a co-worker asks me what happened to my truck. So I go outside find my rear tail light is busted At this point I am in full panic mode, I had to leave work I was freaking out so bad. This makes no sense to me. Has anything like this ever happenned to anyone else? This has really scared me. I keep thinking is this the first time it has happend? or this first time I know about it? What if I had hurt myself or someone else? I wish I could express what I am feeling but I have no words except fear.
So to end the day I went to my pdoc appointment and vowed to be as honest about everything as I could. The session went well. He agreed that my current meds were not working as well as they once did, and switched me to Seroquel, starting at 50mg going up to 300mg over the next four days. I hope this helps. He also wants me to start a counseling program as well once I get leveled out with the meds. As for the above incident he was very aprahensive.
I am scared to go sleep tonight.
Blue
Well It has been an interesting 24 hours. My mind is spinning very fast right now. I am not sure how to begin, but I had a very scary episode last night.
I had a great day with my son yesterday, logged on last night posted a few things and went to bed. That is why none of this makes sense.
I woke up this morning at 4:00 as I always do, feeling good, a little nervous about my new pdoc appointment, but overall good. I went into my office for my morning smoke, check email and such, and find only one cig in the pack. Odd since I opened it right before going to bed last night. So i head to the kitchen and right in the middle of the floor is an 18 pack of beer. Half of it is gone. Now I am really freaking out. (I have been sober since September of last year) I just kind of shut down at this point. This can not be happening. I go to get dressed for work and as I am transfering my wallet I find a reciept for the beer. It is time stamped about an hour after I went to bed. So at some point I got up, got dressed drove to the store and back, smoked a pack of cigs, drank nine beers, went back to bed, woke up at 4 feeling pretty good, with no memory whats so ever of the nights events. Ok I am offically (explative) up. So I get to work at 5:00 my head spinning, feeling out of control when about 8:00 a co-worker asks me what happened to my truck. So I go outside find my rear tail light is busted At this point I am in full panic mode, I had to leave work I was freaking out so bad. This makes no sense to me. Has anything like this ever happenned to anyone else? This has really scared me. I keep thinking is this the first time it has happend? or this first time I know about it? What if I had hurt myself or someone else? I wish I could express what I am feeling but I have no words except fear.
So to end the day I went to my pdoc appointment and vowed to be as honest about everything as I could. The session went well. He agreed that my current meds were not working as well as they once did, and switched me to Seroquel, starting at 50mg going up to 300mg over the next four days. I hope this helps. He also wants me to start a counseling program as well once I get leveled out with the meds. As for the above incident he was very aprahensive.
I am scared to go sleep tonight.
Blue
BPBlue
02-14-2007, 06:56 PM
Hello again,
Not a lot going on today. I seemed to have really been wiped out by the seroqel. I was late for work yesterday, I just could not get out of bed, talked to my boss told him about the med change and I would be there when I could for the next few days. He is understanding to a point, but I think I am pushing it. I missed work completly today I slept till 2:00 this after noon. Thats eighteen hours of sleep and I am still tired. I can't keep doing this. I have to be able to support myself, pay my child support etc... Everything is comming so slow today, just writing this post is draining me I want to go back to bed, but need to try and keep a normal sleeping pattern, I don't know. Got some coffee brewing need to make it till 8:00 tonight and hope I can get my happy *** out bed tomarrow. Have I just run my body down so much that it is trying to heal? Same for my mind. My thoughts are actually very calm right now. I can clearly see what I need to get done today, pay the rest of my bills clean my house, set some goals for meslf. All I know is that I have to keep moving forward.
Blue
Not a lot going on today. I seemed to have really been wiped out by the seroqel. I was late for work yesterday, I just could not get out of bed, talked to my boss told him about the med change and I would be there when I could for the next few days. He is understanding to a point, but I think I am pushing it. I missed work completly today I slept till 2:00 this after noon. Thats eighteen hours of sleep and I am still tired. I can't keep doing this. I have to be able to support myself, pay my child support etc... Everything is comming so slow today, just writing this post is draining me I want to go back to bed, but need to try and keep a normal sleeping pattern, I don't know. Got some coffee brewing need to make it till 8:00 tonight and hope I can get my happy *** out bed tomarrow. Have I just run my body down so much that it is trying to heal? Same for my mind. My thoughts are actually very calm right now. I can clearly see what I need to get done today, pay the rest of my bills clean my house, set some goals for meslf. All I know is that I have to keep moving forward.
Blue
goody2shuz
02-14-2007, 09:12 PM
Hi, Blue:wave: Hang in there with the Seroquel....I heard that the first few days are rough as far as it knocking you out but that as you go up on the dosage things will get better. How much are you taking and when do you take it??? Sometimes just adjusting the time you take it will help out. How many days have you been on it??
By the sound of things other than the drowsiness it seems to be helping....right?? My daughter was one of the lucky ones who didn't get knocked out by it. She started on 25mgs the first day and went up immediately to 50mgs the second for the next 3 days and was instructed to call the pdoc and give a report. We were told by the pdoc that even if it knocked her out the quicker we could get her up on the dosage the better she would do as far as drowsiness. She was then placed on 100mgs for a week at bedtime and then 200mgs the following week. At one point she got extremely dizzy and even blacked out at school but the pdoc told us to hang in there and that it would improve by the next day. And it did. Within 3 weeks we were on 100mgs in the am and 200mgs at bedtime. The 100mgs does not make her tired but the 200mgs pretty much knocks her out at night but she is able to get up after 8-10 hours of sleep.
The Seroquel is great as far as taking care of her frustration levels, anger, agitation, impulsivity and mania. So I think that you should stick it out and see how it goes over the next week or so.
As far as what happened the other night....it sounds as if you had some manic episode or perhaps psychosis and the Seroquel should take care of that.
I am glad you went to the pdoc....do you like him???? I sure hope that this one helps you find the right meds. I can tell by your posts that you really want to get better and that is a BIG plus in getting there.
Keep us posted on how you are doing. And keep that chin up.;)
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
By the sound of things other than the drowsiness it seems to be helping....right?? My daughter was one of the lucky ones who didn't get knocked out by it. She started on 25mgs the first day and went up immediately to 50mgs the second for the next 3 days and was instructed to call the pdoc and give a report. We were told by the pdoc that even if it knocked her out the quicker we could get her up on the dosage the better she would do as far as drowsiness. She was then placed on 100mgs for a week at bedtime and then 200mgs the following week. At one point she got extremely dizzy and even blacked out at school but the pdoc told us to hang in there and that it would improve by the next day. And it did. Within 3 weeks we were on 100mgs in the am and 200mgs at bedtime. The 100mgs does not make her tired but the 200mgs pretty much knocks her out at night but she is able to get up after 8-10 hours of sleep.
The Seroquel is great as far as taking care of her frustration levels, anger, agitation, impulsivity and mania. So I think that you should stick it out and see how it goes over the next week or so.
As far as what happened the other night....it sounds as if you had some manic episode or perhaps psychosis and the Seroquel should take care of that.
I am glad you went to the pdoc....do you like him???? I sure hope that this one helps you find the right meds. I can tell by your posts that you really want to get better and that is a BIG plus in getting there.
Keep us posted on how you are doing. And keep that chin up.;)
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Live_for_music
02-14-2007, 09:22 PM
Seroquel saved my life - hang in there with it. Go to bed earlier if you have to but just make sure you take it at the same time every day.
BPBlue
02-14-2007, 10:43 PM
Greetings all,
Thank you for the comments and support goody2shuz, and Live_For_Music.
I am goint to hang in the with the seroquel, it has only been two days now. I need to give it time to leval out
goody2shuz- In answer to your questions, I started the seroquel on monday night at bed time 50mg. Then 100mg yesterday, I take 200mg tonight, and then 300 tomarrow. 300mg is my target dosage for now. I take it at bed time. As for liking my new pdoc, All I can say at this point is he was kind with me, and seems to be interested in working with me. That in itself is a plus. Though I tend to trust women more than men, it helps to have a male doc because some of the things I go through are better expressed with another male. I do find it odd that there are very few men on this board. Anyway I just need to level out with the meds work on a goal every day, no matter how simple to people it may be.
Live_For_Music- It was good to see those three words. I went to music school on scholarship after high school, and played in a few succesful bands, however i have not really played since I got sick. Perhaps your post was serendipitous (sp?)
Blue
Thank you for the comments and support goody2shuz, and Live_For_Music.
I am goint to hang in the with the seroquel, it has only been two days now. I need to give it time to leval out
goody2shuz- In answer to your questions, I started the seroquel on monday night at bed time 50mg. Then 100mg yesterday, I take 200mg tonight, and then 300 tomarrow. 300mg is my target dosage for now. I take it at bed time. As for liking my new pdoc, All I can say at this point is he was kind with me, and seems to be interested in working with me. That in itself is a plus. Though I tend to trust women more than men, it helps to have a male doc because some of the things I go through are better expressed with another male. I do find it odd that there are very few men on this board. Anyway I just need to level out with the meds work on a goal every day, no matter how simple to people it may be.
Live_For_Music- It was good to see those three words. I went to music school on scholarship after high school, and played in a few succesful bands, however i have not really played since I got sick. Perhaps your post was serendipitous (sp?)
Blue
newbeauty
02-14-2007, 11:27 PM
BPBLUE,
You are not alone. You have come to a wonderful resource here and when your post is read, you will get help and support from those who have been where you are now and made it to the other side.
Be strong, be patient and don't loose hope.
Keep posting especially when you are feeling your worst. Someone will read and respond and keep you in there thoughts, like me, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Judi
You are not alone. You have come to a wonderful resource here and when your post is read, you will get help and support from those who have been where you are now and made it to the other side.
Be strong, be patient and don't loose hope.
Keep posting especially when you are feeling your worst. Someone will read and respond and keep you in there thoughts, like me, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Judi
goody2shuz
02-14-2007, 11:36 PM
Blue ~ One thing to keep in mind is that if the sleepiness doesn't get better you may want to call you pdoc and suggest splitting the doses so that some is given in the morning and the most at night. That way it doesn't knock you out. That is what works out best for my daughter who is 15.....I recall the pdoc telling us that anything over 200mgs should be split into several doses during the day.
The great thing about Seroquel is that you will see improvement rather quickly. So I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that this is the case with you.
When do you see the pdoc again??? Sounds as if you found a good one this time around.
Don't let the ratio of men to women on this board scare you away. This board is not gender biased and is great for everyone!!!:D
Hang in there, Blue, there are many here rooting for you!!
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
The great thing about Seroquel is that you will see improvement rather quickly. So I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that this is the case with you.
When do you see the pdoc again??? Sounds as if you found a good one this time around.
Don't let the ratio of men to women on this board scare you away. This board is not gender biased and is great for everyone!!!:D
Hang in there, Blue, there are many here rooting for you!!
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
MSLAINIE
02-15-2007, 04:48 AM
Hey Blue,
It's Mslainie. My Son Loves Music Too. But I Hope Your Doing Better. Also I Still Stand On Ground, If Psydoc Nervous, He Is Not Doing His Job. My Son Is Over 6feet And 200 Lbs And I Am 5'2" But I Have Learned To Deal With Him. He Is Very Strong And Has A Bad Bad History Too. But Anyway, I Hope You Like Your Doc.
I Will Also Tell You It Is Very Hard For Me To Find My Son A Man Psy Doc And I Do My Research. I Actually Take Him To The A Bad Part Of Phila To See A Male Psy Doc. It Is Important I Think For My Son. Even Know He Tells My His Mom Everything, Things I Dont Want Or Need To Know But I Am Glad He Talks To Me.
Buy Anyway Have A Great Day Today.
Mslainie
It's Mslainie. My Son Loves Music Too. But I Hope Your Doing Better. Also I Still Stand On Ground, If Psydoc Nervous, He Is Not Doing His Job. My Son Is Over 6feet And 200 Lbs And I Am 5'2" But I Have Learned To Deal With Him. He Is Very Strong And Has A Bad Bad History Too. But Anyway, I Hope You Like Your Doc.
I Will Also Tell You It Is Very Hard For Me To Find My Son A Man Psy Doc And I Do My Research. I Actually Take Him To The A Bad Part Of Phila To See A Male Psy Doc. It Is Important I Think For My Son. Even Know He Tells My His Mom Everything, Things I Dont Want Or Need To Know But I Am Glad He Talks To Me.
Buy Anyway Have A Great Day Today.
Mslainie
BPBlue
02-15-2007, 10:18 PM
Good evening All,
Well It is day three on the Seroquel. Today was much better than yesterday. I was late going into work but made it in for six of my ten hours. I was groggy this morning but after a few extra hours of sleep I felt like I could function. My goal was to make it for at least half the day. Whooo HOoo I made it. Tonight I go up to 300mg which is my target dose for now. All in All im feeling ok. My movements didn't feel so slow. And I could form thoughts clearly. I did zone out a few times and the person I was training had to snap me out of it. So not a bad day. I go back to the pdoc on the 23rd and will see how it goes from there. I have the next three days off to adjust to the higher dosage and should be good to go Monday morning. It is kinda nice only working a four day week, but some times those 10 hour shifts get to me.
And thank you, newbeauty, goody2shuz and MSLAINIE, for your comments and support.
Blue
Well It is day three on the Seroquel. Today was much better than yesterday. I was late going into work but made it in for six of my ten hours. I was groggy this morning but after a few extra hours of sleep I felt like I could function. My goal was to make it for at least half the day. Whooo HOoo I made it. Tonight I go up to 300mg which is my target dose for now. All in All im feeling ok. My movements didn't feel so slow. And I could form thoughts clearly. I did zone out a few times and the person I was training had to snap me out of it. So not a bad day. I go back to the pdoc on the 23rd and will see how it goes from there. I have the next three days off to adjust to the higher dosage and should be good to go Monday morning. It is kinda nice only working a four day week, but some times those 10 hour shifts get to me.
And thank you, newbeauty, goody2shuz and MSLAINIE, for your comments and support.
Blue
goody2shuz
02-16-2007, 09:49 PM
Hi, Blue:wave: Just checking in again. It is great to hear that the Seroquel is working so well....I am sure that once you are up to the 300mgs by the end of the weekend that you will be feeling even better. I forgot if you are on anything else besides the Seroquel but if not there is always room to add if the Seroquel doesn't do it on it's own. I know from research that the Seroquel was liked by many patients and doctors because it not only had a way of taking care of the mania but was even better in people who were more on the depressed side. So this may be a great med for you.:blob_fire
Keep your chin up and let us all know how you are doing.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Keep your chin up and let us all know how you are doing.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
BPBlue
02-16-2007, 10:17 PM
Ok I am ok. I need to keep that gpoing. Not sure whats up. I am wound so tight. I have been on the new meds for days now., I am rapid cyclying like crazy. called the pdco he said to stop the meds and go to the hospital, I can't do another one. I wish I could stop sctatching my selfI am out of control right now I am ok I will be ok this will pass. I keep sctatching cant stop. What is going on I have to ride this out I will be ok I so much violence inside i want to lash outol deep brerayh deep breath calm down I can do this I can do this I cant stop running THOUSND MILES AN HOUR can't stop rocking in my chair calm down please pleasaede calm downI hev been throu worse i can ride this out i push it all down I am ok I will be okI am okfocus just thinkok i am ok deep beath I am calm I am calm now
BPBlue
02-16-2007, 10:27 PM
Ok I am ok. I need to keep that gpoing. Not sure whats up. I am wound so tight. I have been on the new meds for days now., I am rapid cyclying like crazy. called the pdco he said to stop the meds and go to the hospital, I can't do another one. I wish I could stop sctatching my selfI am out of control right now I am ok I will be ok this will pass. I keep sctatching cant stop. What is going on I have to ride this out I will be ok I so much violence inside i want to lash outol deep brerayh deep breath calm down I can do this I can do this I cant stop running THOUSND MILES AN HOUR can't stop rocking in my chair calm down please pleasaede calm downI hev been throu worse i can ride this out i push it all down I am ok I will be okI am okfocus just thinkok i am ok deep beath I am calm I am calm now
goody2shuz
02-16-2007, 10:31 PM
Blue ~ You MUST trust your doctor and do what he says. It sounds as if you are really heading into a manic episode and you will keep on thinking that you can handle it on your own but you won't. Please go to the hospital....they will be able to help you find the right med to help you through this that will work quickly. You must trust your doctor and if he told you to stop the meds and go to the hospital you must!!!
You are need to keep yourself safe and go where they can monitor you....Blue can you get yourself to the hospital or if not call 911 and ask for help??
Please let us know if you are going to the hospital so that we know that you are safe.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
You are need to keep yourself safe and go where they can monitor you....Blue can you get yourself to the hospital or if not call 911 and ask for help??
Please let us know if you are going to the hospital so that we know that you are safe.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
BPBlue
02-17-2007, 05:32 PM
Good afternoon All,
I am ok, the hypomaina passed after a few hours, and I crashed out. I agreed to go to the hospital if it comes up again. The pdoc thinks my job is triggering me. I have to agree a bit, I feel bad about my performance at work. I have missed so much time, and worry everyday that I may not have a job at the end of the day. I have been open and honest with my boss, about being Bi-Polar, and he is very understanding, but concerned about the antipsycotics I have been on. My job requires a great deal of focus, and reasoning ability. I made light of my zoning out at work the other day, but it is really a more serious issue. I operate very dangerous equipment, so attention to detail is an absolute must. In addition peoples lives are at risk. Anyway the pdoc questioned whether someone with my illness should be taking on that kind of stress. So I am not really sure, do I find a new carrer? Or hope for the right mix of meds? I am really confused. Any input would be great.
Blue
I am ok, the hypomaina passed after a few hours, and I crashed out. I agreed to go to the hospital if it comes up again. The pdoc thinks my job is triggering me. I have to agree a bit, I feel bad about my performance at work. I have missed so much time, and worry everyday that I may not have a job at the end of the day. I have been open and honest with my boss, about being Bi-Polar, and he is very understanding, but concerned about the antipsycotics I have been on. My job requires a great deal of focus, and reasoning ability. I made light of my zoning out at work the other day, but it is really a more serious issue. I operate very dangerous equipment, so attention to detail is an absolute must. In addition peoples lives are at risk. Anyway the pdoc questioned whether someone with my illness should be taking on that kind of stress. So I am not really sure, do I find a new carrer? Or hope for the right mix of meds? I am really confused. Any input would be great.
Blue
paranormal
02-17-2007, 06:04 PM
hi Blue,
i hope you're feeling well. i think considering your job is a very important issue, especially since you're working with equipment, and if one thing goes wrong, your life and others' would be at risk.
it is not only stressing you, but also your boss. you yourself think that you are not performing well. it's putting you down, and you are always afraid of doing something wrong. i think you need a low-stress environment. at least if you can get into something that does not compete with your stability as much as this job does. and if it makes you feel better, on average, the normal person makes 3 to 6 career/life changes. so try not to stress too much about the change.
please consider it, it's for your best to do what makes you feel better.
good luck and tell us what your thinking of doing.
i hope you're feeling well. i think considering your job is a very important issue, especially since you're working with equipment, and if one thing goes wrong, your life and others' would be at risk.
it is not only stressing you, but also your boss. you yourself think that you are not performing well. it's putting you down, and you are always afraid of doing something wrong. i think you need a low-stress environment. at least if you can get into something that does not compete with your stability as much as this job does. and if it makes you feel better, on average, the normal person makes 3 to 6 career/life changes. so try not to stress too much about the change.
please consider it, it's for your best to do what makes you feel better.
good luck and tell us what your thinking of doing.
BPBlue
02-18-2007, 06:08 PM
Hey everyone,
Thank you for the comment paranormal. It has been a good day I have my son with me and that always keeps me focused. I have been real mellow. Getting things done around the house, wish I had a bit more energy though. Gonna head to bed a few hours early tonight, don't want to be late for work again.
The job issue is pretty heavy on my mind. My annual review is coming up in a few weeks, I would like to see how it goes before I make an impulsive decision. I tend to be hard on myself, and place a lot of pressure on myself. If I was to look for another job I am not sure what I would enjoy doing. I get bored so easily. I don't know,
Well thats all for now, be well all
Blue
Thank you for the comment paranormal. It has been a good day I have my son with me and that always keeps me focused. I have been real mellow. Getting things done around the house, wish I had a bit more energy though. Gonna head to bed a few hours early tonight, don't want to be late for work again.
The job issue is pretty heavy on my mind. My annual review is coming up in a few weeks, I would like to see how it goes before I make an impulsive decision. I tend to be hard on myself, and place a lot of pressure on myself. If I was to look for another job I am not sure what I would enjoy doing. I get bored so easily. I don't know,
Well thats all for now, be well all
Blue
BPBlue
02-19-2007, 09:20 PM
Good evening all.
Well yet another day. I made it to work for the whole day, going to bed early really helped. So gonna keep that up as I level out on the seroquel. Been keeping in contact with the pdoc daily. Have a full session on Friday. I spent the day training a co-worker on my group of machines, and looks like I will be training all this week. So a low stress week.
The only wrinkle in the day was my ex-wife called to let me know she is up for a big promotion and asked if I would update her resume. I agreed to help her. After being so horrible on occasion, it feels good to do something nice to help her.
So there is my day in a nutshell.
Be well all.
Blue
Well yet another day. I made it to work for the whole day, going to bed early really helped. So gonna keep that up as I level out on the seroquel. Been keeping in contact with the pdoc daily. Have a full session on Friday. I spent the day training a co-worker on my group of machines, and looks like I will be training all this week. So a low stress week.
The only wrinkle in the day was my ex-wife called to let me know she is up for a big promotion and asked if I would update her resume. I agreed to help her. After being so horrible on occasion, it feels good to do something nice to help her.
So there is my day in a nutshell.
Be well all.
Blue
BPBlue
02-21-2007, 12:21 AM
Hey everyone,
Another good day today, made it to work and had a really good time with my trainee. It is nice having someone to interact with at work, I normally work alone and have very little interaction unless there is some type of problem.
I also went to an AA meeting tonight. I was feeling guilty about having drank during my blackout night. It was really positive, and went out to dinner with a number of people from the meeting. This is the most social I have been in months. I really need to get out more.
Be well all,
Blue
Another good day today, made it to work and had a really good time with my trainee. It is nice having someone to interact with at work, I normally work alone and have very little interaction unless there is some type of problem.
I also went to an AA meeting tonight. I was feeling guilty about having drank during my blackout night. It was really positive, and went out to dinner with a number of people from the meeting. This is the most social I have been in months. I really need to get out more.
Be well all,
Blue
BPBlue
02-22-2007, 11:29 PM
Hello All,
Well I just wanted to let you all know I really think this seroquel is working.
I just had a really good day, everything was great I felt so normal and just happy, not manic happy but real happy. I am still a bit groggy in the morning but a few extra hour of sleep is well worth how I am feeling. I go to pdoc tomorrow, and hopefully start counseling now that I am leveled out a bit.
Thank you all so much for the support and kind words. Now that I am feeling better and thinking clear, perhaps I might be able to help others a bit.
Be Well All
Blue
Well I just wanted to let you all know I really think this seroquel is working.
I just had a really good day, everything was great I felt so normal and just happy, not manic happy but real happy. I am still a bit groggy in the morning but a few extra hour of sleep is well worth how I am feeling. I go to pdoc tomorrow, and hopefully start counseling now that I am leveled out a bit.
Thank you all so much for the support and kind words. Now that I am feeling better and thinking clear, perhaps I might be able to help others a bit.
Be Well All
Blue
goody2shuz
02-24-2007, 10:12 PM
Blue ~ It is great to hear that the Seroquel is helping. I was worried about you and am glad that you got through the mania and allowed the med to help you out.
So how did your appointment go with the doctor??? It sounds as if this doctor may just be the one to help you find the right meds that will lead to your stability.
Also, spending time doing positive things will help you want to work towards finding the right meds. Sounds as if your son will inspire you to do that.:)
Thanks for the updates and for sharing some good news ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
So how did your appointment go with the doctor??? It sounds as if this doctor may just be the one to help you find the right meds that will lead to your stability.
Also, spending time doing positive things will help you want to work towards finding the right meds. Sounds as if your son will inspire you to do that.:)
Thanks for the updates and for sharing some good news ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
BPBlue
02-24-2007, 11:02 PM
Good evening all,
I am beside myself, this has been a wonderful week for me. I am really feeling good and I like the new pdoc. Had a great session on friday, and start counseling next week. My performance at work has been amazing, I even got to put in two days of overtime. Looks like I will be able to pay off some of my hospital debt now.
I am looking forward to spending time with my son tomarrow, even thinking about getting out of the house. Havn't done that for months. Man it just feels good to feel good.
Blue
I am beside myself, this has been a wonderful week for me. I am really feeling good and I like the new pdoc. Had a great session on friday, and start counseling next week. My performance at work has been amazing, I even got to put in two days of overtime. Looks like I will be able to pay off some of my hospital debt now.
I am looking forward to spending time with my son tomarrow, even thinking about getting out of the house. Havn't done that for months. Man it just feels good to feel good.
Blue
marshmallow
02-24-2007, 11:11 PM
bblue It is so nice to hear you are doing so much better. I am happy for you.
goody2shuz
02-24-2007, 11:38 PM
Wow, Blue.....this is all great news!!!:blob_fire It is amazing how once you find the right med that things could turn around so well. I am happy for you and hope that things continue to go well for you especially after all that has happened in your life. You deserve a great big pat on the back because you are where you are now because you found the help that you needed and accepted responsibility for making sure that you did.
Keep it up, Blue!!!
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Keep it up, Blue!!!
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
devymac
02-25-2007, 11:32 PM
Hi Guys...
Just wanted to let you all taking lamictal know to please watch for the Stevens-Johnson Syndrome symptoms. I recently started having symptoms at that same time that I had strep throat. So, the Dr.s thought it was the strep. I was on the meds another two weeks before it was realized that it wasn't strep.
I was a day away from being admitted when we realized it. I began to have the classic signs of SJS ... The stiff joints, blisters in the mouth, peeling skin in the mouth, swollen lips, red, hot, raised rash from head to toe, coughing, sore throat, fever...
If you think you have this, stop the meds immediately. Start taking 50mg benedryl and 150mg Zantac (weird I know but it's an H2 antihistamine) twice a day.
I didn't understand the nature of this condition til it literally hit me in the face!! I am very frustrated because the lamictal was working verywell on my mood swings.
Just wanted to let you all taking lamictal know to please watch for the Stevens-Johnson Syndrome symptoms. I recently started having symptoms at that same time that I had strep throat. So, the Dr.s thought it was the strep. I was on the meds another two weeks before it was realized that it wasn't strep.
I was a day away from being admitted when we realized it. I began to have the classic signs of SJS ... The stiff joints, blisters in the mouth, peeling skin in the mouth, swollen lips, red, hot, raised rash from head to toe, coughing, sore throat, fever...
If you think you have this, stop the meds immediately. Start taking 50mg benedryl and 150mg Zantac (weird I know but it's an H2 antihistamine) twice a day.
I didn't understand the nature of this condition til it literally hit me in the face!! I am very frustrated because the lamictal was working verywell on my mood swings.
BPBlue
03-25-2007, 07:03 PM
Hey All, Hope the day finds you well
Just wanted to say hello and let you all know I am doing great. The Seroquel is working very well. I feel like me again
Blue
Just wanted to say hello and let you all know I am doing great. The Seroquel is working very well. I feel like me again
Blue
JJK11
03-25-2007, 07:43 PM
It's good that you're feeling better. Also, do you religiously take your medications? One of the worst things you can do is not take your meds when you're supposed to.
BPBlue
03-29-2007, 08:44 PM
Hey All,
JJK11, Indeed sir, For the first time I actually want to take my meds. I have have never had a med help this much, I just hope it continues to work as well as it is.
As always I hope are well today,
Blue
JJK11, Indeed sir, For the first time I actually want to take my meds. I have have never had a med help this much, I just hope it continues to work as well as it is.
As always I hope are well today,
Blue
deedeehurtn
03-29-2007, 11:19 PM
wow that's great to hear. i am so interested in both sides of the fences here and what to learn so much about it.. i'am not bp but my husband is and is sooo unmedicated. so life is a painful struggle everyday