gunnerb52
02-21-2007, 01:18 AM
I find it hard to meet people and trust them, just something about having PTSD that brings that on. On the other hand here or even in person with other vets that have PTSD it is easier to trust and feel excepted with out question or judgment being passed. I have found that people with PTSD seem to trust one another more quickly than someone who does not have it, because those that have it understand better what we are going through due to they are going through it also. You don't get the just forget about it, if they only understood that if we could make it all go away we would or at least I would, no more flash backs, jumping due to loud noises, stying away from crowds of people, not going places because of to many people there, that would be different. Trust would be allot easier also.
Got off track a little
peace
gunner
Got off track a little
peace
gunner
Sponsor
stick2013
02-21-2007, 06:20 AM
Gunner,
Trust is a huge issue for all of us, and you are not off track with this.....We all pretty much share what you go through. Startle response, becoming an introvert, isolation, and oh yes who could forget those wonderful flashbacks to remind us of the hell that we lived......
I am sure that you have had therapy for years and you know that staying grounded in the here and now is one of the most helpful things that we can do for ourselves.....So stay grounded, hug your wife, build some more fun things, and keep posting.....
Hugs,
Sid
Trust is a huge issue for all of us, and you are not off track with this.....We all pretty much share what you go through. Startle response, becoming an introvert, isolation, and oh yes who could forget those wonderful flashbacks to remind us of the hell that we lived......
I am sure that you have had therapy for years and you know that staying grounded in the here and now is one of the most helpful things that we can do for ourselves.....So stay grounded, hug your wife, build some more fun things, and keep posting.....
Hugs,
Sid
ICC
02-21-2007, 08:43 AM
Hi gunner**** not much to add. You and Sid have worded PTSD wonderfully. We do share alot. It is the anture of the beast called PTSD. I find it to be one of the most difficult disorders as we are all strong, intelligent people who are hit with this disorder and at first have no idea what to do with it. I have gained so much comfort and insight from all the wonderful people sharing here that posting here has saved my life and given me hope for a wonderful future. It can be controlled. It jumps up sometimes when we least expect it. That's where the trust comes in. there is no thing you can post here that one of us won't understand or have been through. Others just don't get it at times or ever. We do. God bless you.
Grasshopper
Grasshopper
Phoenix
02-21-2007, 08:47 AM
Dear gunner,
It's sad to say but for me it's "In God We Trust."
All others are suspect (to certain degrees).
I understand all too well.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
It's sad to say but for me it's "In God We Trust."
All others are suspect (to certain degrees).
I understand all too well.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
zencat
02-21-2007, 11:35 AM
Hi Gunner
Complicated issue trust, offhand some thoughts pop into mind. Being able to predict that people will behave in a somewhat expectable manner and not surprise me with harmful intentions creates undue anxiety. Sure no one can truly read another person, but I have more to risk when I’m exposed to the harm. When I am hurt by some ones actions I begin to hurt myself. That is to say my response to being harmed is exaggerated and projected inward at my self. Rather than getting angry at them, as I could, I turn the anger inward and hurt myself.
Today I am more aware of my maladaptive anger response. Still, I run into situations from time to time that give me problems. However I am able to minimize the damage done by seeing into the process of harming myself more clearly.
zencat :)
Complicated issue trust, offhand some thoughts pop into mind. Being able to predict that people will behave in a somewhat expectable manner and not surprise me with harmful intentions creates undue anxiety. Sure no one can truly read another person, but I have more to risk when I’m exposed to the harm. When I am hurt by some ones actions I begin to hurt myself. That is to say my response to being harmed is exaggerated and projected inward at my self. Rather than getting angry at them, as I could, I turn the anger inward and hurt myself.
Today I am more aware of my maladaptive anger response. Still, I run into situations from time to time that give me problems. However I am able to minimize the damage done by seeing into the process of harming myself more clearly.
zencat :)
Sannah
02-21-2007, 11:44 AM
Hi Gunner, I think that trust has something to do with boundaries. When we don't trust we are afraid that we will be hurt. Fearing getting hurt by others I think is a boundary issue. Have you read the thread here "Confrontation reaction - shaking with intense feelings"?
Zencat, are you afraid to be angry with others? What sorts of messages did you receive when you were growing up about your being able to get angry?
Zencat, are you afraid to be angry with others? What sorts of messages did you receive when you were growing up about your being able to get angry?
zencat
02-21-2007, 12:15 PM
I think not being able to show anger towards my mom has something to do with it.
The sense of unjust treatment from her and no way to express it without punishment created frustration. Without a healthy place to vent my frustration I converted it to back into agitation and anger, and directed it inward. I think it was the conversion that jumbled and redirected the emotions
The sense of unjust treatment from her and no way to express it without punishment created frustration. Without a healthy place to vent my frustration I converted it to back into agitation and anger, and directed it inward. I think it was the conversion that jumbled and redirected the emotions
zencat
02-21-2007, 12:32 PM
.oh I miss the fear of anger part. Yea, I think I do fear, or am… maybe… concerned with expressing anger towards others. I fear retaliation.
Here’s the deal: ( short version ) mom mistreats me with enemas, I get angry at her and act up at home. Dad comes home ,hears about the acting up part only, I get striped with the belt. repeat as often to really screw me up and…. wa-la…… PTSD + Personality Disorders.
Here’s the deal: ( short version ) mom mistreats me with enemas, I get angry at her and act up at home. Dad comes home ,hears about the acting up part only, I get striped with the belt. repeat as often to really screw me up and…. wa-la…… PTSD + Personality Disorders.
ICC
02-21-2007, 12:48 PM
right on zen!!! that's it. I did the same thing. abused by several, neglected by mother. BAD KID!!! beat myself up as an adult because there was something wrong with ME. My own anger scared me to tears. I'm pretty laid back most of the time but the anger built up so badly as an adult that I was always angry and had no idea why. I do now. No longer mad at myself and totally indifferent towards my abusers. God what were some of our parents thinking? or were they thinking? did they have any parenting skills? I would never even consider talking to a strange child the way I was talked to let alone performing some of the horrendous acts that were inflicted on most of us. God be with you all. we're on the path to recovery.
Love,
Grasshopper
Love,
Grasshopper
Sannah
02-21-2007, 01:26 PM
Hi Zencat, I thought that I had answered this post and now it is gone? Yeh, what you said makes sense - that you would have this reaction now. I am sure if you just pay attention to your reactions and work on them by doing the self talk you will work it all out. Yeh, focusing on the fear part is key to resolving this.
hergy
02-22-2007, 12:19 AM
Gunner, trust is so difficult. We have different reasons for our response to trauma, but it hurts nonetheless. I watched a program tonight about a vet with PTSD and sobbed like a baby. He was alone. I can relate to that lost feeling.
You're right, talking with people who know where you're coming from is so much more validating, comforting and supportive. People who say 'Just get past it,' or 'You've got to move on' are ignorant of the effects of trauma. Still, their words can make make you feel like the odd one. You're not odd. You experienced things most people can't imagine. They don't think about it and often avoid the subject. You can't avoid it. It's stuck in your head.
Don't ever force yourself into situations that hurt you just to fit in. Therapy will help you progress mentally and emotionally. Eventually, you'll want to approach these situations of your own accord.
Distrust of others can make you pull away. Don't isolate yourself. Take strides toward progression. You're worth becoming a confident man.
Love and best wishes,
Nikki
You're right, talking with people who know where you're coming from is so much more validating, comforting and supportive. People who say 'Just get past it,' or 'You've got to move on' are ignorant of the effects of trauma. Still, their words can make make you feel like the odd one. You're not odd. You experienced things most people can't imagine. They don't think about it and often avoid the subject. You can't avoid it. It's stuck in your head.
Don't ever force yourself into situations that hurt you just to fit in. Therapy will help you progress mentally and emotionally. Eventually, you'll want to approach these situations of your own accord.
Distrust of others can make you pull away. Don't isolate yourself. Take strides toward progression. You're worth becoming a confident man.
Love and best wishes,
Nikki
orchardlady
02-22-2007, 01:27 AM
Trust
Anger
Abandonment
Childhood...Marriage...and beyond
I suppose trust is my issue tonight, and a feeling of abandonment. Sannah said, "When we don't trust we are afraid that we will be hurt." And, when we trust we do get hurt...or become numb.
Nikki said, "talking with people who know where you're coming from is so much more validating, comforting and supportive" It is as is said, walk a mile in my shoes...only those who have can understand.
Thanks for being here...everyone!
Anger
Abandonment
Childhood...Marriage...and beyond
I suppose trust is my issue tonight, and a feeling of abandonment. Sannah said, "When we don't trust we are afraid that we will be hurt." And, when we trust we do get hurt...or become numb.
Nikki said, "talking with people who know where you're coming from is so much more validating, comforting and supportive" It is as is said, walk a mile in my shoes...only those who have can understand.
Thanks for being here...everyone!