For the past month, I have been delved further into my imaginary world of various characters that I have created. Since I was a child, I have become various imaginary people over the years (in secret) and have lived their lives all of my life. It started as classmates from school, but has grown to become completely imaginary characters. They have families and spouses and very rich, exciting lives. I am no where in their lives; however, each character consumes a part of me. And, now, I don’t know who I really am. Two of my imaginary characters, a couple who I created, Symone and Iggy, have become my friends and have helped me to focus on some aspects of my life.

Late last year, I tried to eliminate the imaginary characters and be myself, but I became very depressed. Everyday was miserable. And, in reality, there is nothing but sadness and poverty whereas in my imaginary world everyone is happy. The definite end came with all the bad news that hit my family so far in the past 2 months.

I am starting very concerned that I will be alone for the rest of my life because I don’t want to get rid of these characters. I would like children, but I don’t see that happening at this point in my life and no man would want to be with me. I am 31 and I have never been kissed, never been on a date and am still a virgin. I feel happier when I am acting out their lives than in my own because my life is such a waste. I just don’t know what to do. I thought maybe I should write the situations that I come across in short story or screenplay; however, I feel scared. Also, I don’t want these characters to go.

I understand if those of you out there feel I’m a nutcase and don’t respond. However, it would be reassuring to know that I am not the only one going through these experiences.

Come on I need help. I wish someone could advise me.

Have you talked to a p-doc about your self talk and characters?

This is just my non-professional opinion, but maybe your imaginary world feels like such a perfect place because it doesn't have the problems of real life. The longer you live with your imaginary characters and scenarios, the longer you can put off living in your real life, and making it the life that you want. There are no "risks" with your imaginary world, but real life has many risks and problems. You are probably using this as an escape, and it has become such a comfortable "place" that now you really don't want to leave. I really do think you could definitely benefit from speaking with a professional to gain some insight as to why you are doing this, as well as getting some guidance in establishing your real-world life. You are truly missing out on alot. :)

For the past month, I have been delved further into my imaginary world of various characters that I have created. Since I was a child, I have become various imaginary people over the years (in secret) and have lived their lives all of my life. It started as classmates from school, but has grown to become completely imaginary characters. They have families and spouses and very rich, exciting lives. I am no where in their lives; however, each character consumes a part of me. And, now, I don’t know who I really am. Two of my imaginary characters, a couple who I created, Symone and Iggy, have become my friends and have helped me to focus on some aspects of my life.

Late last year, I tried to eliminate the imaginary characters and be myself, but I became very depressed. Everyday was miserable. And, in reality, there is nothing but sadness and poverty whereas in my imaginary world everyone is happy. The definite end came with all the bad news that hit my family so far in the past 2 months.

I am starting very concerned that I will be alone for the rest of my life because I don’t want to get rid of these characters. I would like children, but I don’t see that happening at this point in my life and no man would want to be with me. I am 31 and I have never been kissed, never been on a date and am still a virgin. I feel happier when I am acting out their lives than in my own because my life is such a waste. I just don’t know what to do. I thought maybe I should write the situations that I come across in short story or screenplay; however, I feel scared. Also, I don’t want these characters to go.

I understand if those of you out there feel I’m a nutcase and don’t respond. However, it would be reassuring to know that I am not the only one going through these experiences.


Why have you never been on a date? Fear of rejection?

I do this too (create imaginary characters) but I actually write about them. Six years ago I started writing this story with two central characters and I liked my characters so much that I wrote and re wrote the story because I didn't want to 'let them go' so to speak. There is something wonderful about being able to escape into an imaginery world when one's own world becomes painful or boring, but obviously it's a problem when your imaginary life is your only life. I'm sorry if this is happening to you. Writing about your characters might give you a good outlet. But you need to start picking up something in your own life as well - maybe try going out on a date. Do you work and if so what do you do?

i do understand how easy it is to live in fantasy. So much more fun sometimes than real life. i started escaping into my imagination when I was going through some really traumatic times when I was 10 and over the course of my life I've had times when I haven't lived in my imagination at all, and times when i've done it a lot. I use it for fun, really. Like watching a movie. But you can't afford to get stuck in this world with these characters. Write about them. Do you have friends in your real life?

I am married with three children and I find that if I'm having problems with the kids that I don't feel in control of then I will escape into my imaginary world. I guess it's a form of comfort. Cheaper and less harmful than drugs and alcohol (lol).

the most famous sufferers of this condition were the Brontes, who invented a world called Gondal (i think thats what it was called), perhaps it would be an idea to write this down, instead of keeping it locked away in your head. relationships arent such a big deal so dont get too down because you havent had a boyfriend, take care and good luck :blob_fire

Hi Csense

I read your post with interest because i am exactly like you and doing the exact same thing as you. I feel relieved reading what you described because i have felt for a long time that i am the only one like the way i am, but i know now there are others out there just like me too.

I also live alot in my fantasy world, and it does involve imaginary characters and i'm also someone else (not me) and i can't seem to stop doing this or let go of it at all. I don't live in the real world much at all and just daydream all the time and live in my fantasy world. I think it is all just like some kind of escape from real life which i have found to be very unhappy, traumatic, painful and a very harsh place. Perhaps i just want to kind of wrap myself up in cotton wool because when i am absorbed in my fantasies i am safe, nothing can hurt me, nothing bad can happen and i can have anything and everything i want that i couldn't have in real-life. My real world is very empty and unhappy, but i don't seem to try and deal with it or try to improve it - all i do is live in my head in my daydreams and fantasies with my imaginary characters. I try and stop doing it but soon get drawn into it all again... So i must say Csense that we sound very, very similar. I tried talking to my doctor about it once but he didn't understand me and hadn't really heard of this problem before. I don't want to tell anymore doctors about my situation again as i am afraid of them not understanding me about it again.

I am fed up all i do is live in my dream world but can't seem to stop and everytime i do stop for awhile it always seems to return and it gets in the way of me leading my real-life which i do want to do really. I must try and fight this off - it is like drugs or alcohol, it is like some kind of addiction...

I am also similar to you in that i am 29 now and have never really had a relationship with anyone... i've been with a few men here and there (but only for a couple of weeks each time) and have spent virtually all my life alone and with no boyfriends to be with. I am so upset about this as well, my life is just wasting away. I would love to be with a man... I want romance and love. I am not a virgin but have hardly any experience with men much at all.

If you would like to chat as we are similar message me.

Joltster
xx

PS hope this reply to you helps you simply to let you know you are not the only one like this and there are others out there in the same boat as you are... but i can't really give you any advise as i have the same problem and haven't found a way to beat it myself... don't really know what the answer is, maybe we need some kind of therapy to see why we need to escape real-life this way. I've never really had any counselling or therapy before and i had a very difficult childhood...

Anyway - hope i've helped and if anyone out there has any more advise for both of us, be glad to hear it

Thanks
:-)

I appreciate everyone's comments especially Jolster and Trixibel. I feel sort of better to know that I am not alone. It is so true that when you stop and live within actual reality it becomes scary. I often become extremely depressed when I don't go into my imaginary thoughts for some time. I tried to do this in November and December and it was just awful. Not to mention, it seems like one bad thing was happening after the next. Needless to say, I retreated back. I want to let it go, but it's so familiar and comfortable and it's so hard for me to meet friends for I don't have anything in common with many of the people I meet. It's just a mess.

Csense, most progess is gradual. At least you have taken the first step and identified why you are doing this! Of course you know that you must build a life for yourself in the real world one step at a time. There are people out there with the same interests as you, you just need to find them. What are your interests?

I like writing, traveling, performing, film/media, shopping, music and foreign languages. Classes are often expensive so I am trying to find groups, but it's difficult to find a group near home that meets on weekends.

use these characters to write a story, a play, a musical!
feed off of them in a way that it betters your life......
don't let them feed off of you like parasites.

does that make sense?

CSense, you sound very creative! Have you looked into any community theaters? You can actually go to classes/lectures without paying for them. You don't get to take exams or hand in work or anything but you can just go to the class and listen and then try to meet others afterwards. It is called "auditing" a class. I guess you would have to talk to the instructor about the rules.

Would it help you to focus on the positives in your life?

This may sound harsh, but I do believe that reality is so much more fulfilling than a "fake" made up world. Face the things that you fear in your life and have some courage. No one's life is perfect and lots of people have it worse off than us. But this is the reality we're given and it can be very rewarding. You need to step out more and take risks. This means you may well get hurt, you probably have been hurt already. But you won't know what life has to offer to you unless you step outside of your bubble. I really hope that you don't withdraw into your imaginary world any more than may be necessary. There are things to do, people to have relationship with, theres a whole world of possibiilities. You're obviously a creative person, turn this to you're advantage.

It's so easily said than done. I was severely teased as a child. I know (boo hoo -- who wasn't). I know I should be stronger and just get out there and do things but I guess I have such high standards. Nothing wrong with my standards, but whenever I take steps to achieve something I get cold feet and then procrastinate (i.e. writing, studying for the GMAT (i.e. test to take for applying for a Master's in Business Administration). My dream is to work in Marketing as a Brand Manager (difficult if you are shy like me and a homebody) and write for television or webcasts (again if you have low attention span and self conscious). I would also like to marry an investment banker.

These are indeed lofty goals especially for someone like myself who has trouble striking conversations with people and trusting them. I guess what I should do is just do as the old Nike ad says and "Just Do it!". Write, study and take the steps to get out of this rut and make something of my life.