My father is 64 and was diagnosed three weeks ago today. The cancer is in his liver but did not originate there. They have not yet been able to find the origin. He has had two chemo treatments - he goes once a week - and is not having side effects, Praise God. He does have ascites building up in his abdomen and has had it drained three times now, once a week. He was in the hospital when we got the diagnosis for iv treatments to try to get rid of the fluid and because he was very weak and dehydrated. He has moved in with my family and I. The doctor did say that this is inoperable and incurable but did not give us a time frame.

There is so much that needs to be done...we have done a Power of Attorney for medical issues and have contacted the insurance company. I picked up a pre-arrangement form from the funeral home yesterday - we have talked about doing that ever since my mom died suddenly 6 1/2 years ago. I just am not sure what else we need to be taking care of. Is there a list???? Insurance, will, his house, we need to do POA for legal issues yet, what am I missing?

This is all so overwhelming! It is so harding not knowing so much. We will see the dr on Mar 1 again. I do have a list of questions for him. The main one being: Why is he so weak? Is it the cancer that is knocking him down or is it the ascites that keeps building up, which I know is because of the cancer. He hadn't been feeling good for about 4 months, then started bloating with the ascites. He is also diabetic and for some reason has been taken off of insulin. The dr says we have more important issues to worry about right now and if we can keep his sugar under about 300, we are doing OK. It is usually between 120 -200. I just don't know if he is going to get to feeling better, which is scary.

Thanks for this message board.

Stef, sorry to hear of your fathers diagnosis. Your question as to "What am I missing?" One thing would be a second opinion from a reputable Cancer Hospital/MedicalCenter if not already done so. I don't know your geographical area, but if not close to a major center, records and slides could be sent to a center for consultation. I've read many a posting from cancer survivors that were first diagnosed either or both inoperable and incurable and are still here long afterwards. Prior to my diagnosis I thought the diagnosis of cancer meant you were a gonner. Not so as I have learned that through educating yourself as so to available treatments and up to date facilities it does not have to be a death sentence. Many are living beyond their original prognosis. At this time there is no evidence of disease in my latest Cat scan. I Pray for your Father and Family.

It sounds like you are wanting to be prepared for whatever happens. The only other thing I could think of is ask your father to help you make a list of people that he would invite to a funeral and how to get ahold of them. That way whether his time is soon or he is around for 30 more years either way lots of the work is done and you know it is the way he wants.

I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago and I am a firm believer that cancer doesn't just affect the one with cancer it also affects everyone around that person.

Good luck