hey im a new member, and would just like to say how much of a relief it was to find this place! (in particular i think the ban on 'triggers' is so important - its crazy what my mind will start thinking and comparing!)
anyway my question is about getting weighed on a regular basis during recovery - is it a good idea or not? i guess its probably different for each individual but im torn; its good see that the weight does not go on crazy-fast like i fear so intensely, but then i find myself focusing on the numbers too much. it depends on how im feeling on the day/at the time to whether i feel good for maintaining or gaining a little, or of-course the oppisite where im secretly glad the number is down..
what are your opinions and experiances?

Don't weigh during recovery! It's a huge no-no! If you are seeing a doc or dietician, be sure you weigh backwards so that you cannot read the numbers on the scale. It is too scary to know the numbers and gives the ED a huge amount of power, "You're gaining, you're gaining, you're fat!" kind of thoughts.

I completely gave up weighing during recovery. I didn't weigh until my weight was stable for about a year. Since then, I just weigh myself once weekly and never after a huge meal/party.

Good luck to you in your recovery! :blob_fire

yeah i definately aggree that knowing the numbers gives the ED power, however my problem is that in the past when i have tried to gain weight and just go by how i feel, i end up thinking irrationaly that i have gained enough when really its only a tiny amount and im still far from close to a healthy minimum weight for my height... its hard to ignore how big i feel and continue to keep up eating and my attempt at recovery always fails..

That is why it is good to have a dietician or doctor or someone on your treatment team who you trust monitoring your weight for you. My dietician promised me if I ever became overweight for my height, she would let me know, and I trusted her with it. You have to put it in someone else's hands.

AAARGHH so i weighed myself, first time in ages, and it shows ive gained a little. thats exactly what i have been trying to achieve with stopping the over exercising and drinking calorie drinks from the doctor, and yet it feels all so horrible to actually face the fact that i am HEAVIER. eww even writing it makes me feel disgusting. the logical part of me knows it is a good thing and i keep trying to think of it that way (thinking about how my hair will get better, i will get boobs, i will just look nicer/sexier), but god i cant stop that gut feeling that makes me feel gross and lazy and fat for gaining weight! its like my brain is programmed to think the lower the weight the better, and going up is unacceptable. oh wow this is frightening... what happens when i get to a "healthy" weight and i still feel so messed up inside? when i have been thru impatient weight gain programs in the past i spent months slowly gaining and even then when i got to the minimim recomended weight i couldnt handle it - just felt so uncomfortable in that body - that i ended up going back wards. it scares me that i will never be happy or comfortable or NORMAL around the thoughts of my body, food behaviours and obsessing about things like exercise.
sorry to vent, just feel so alone

nzgirl,

Step away from the scale. You know logically in your mind that you need to gain weight. You will both feel better and look healthier.

It is tough. I still have body image issues. I look in the mirror and still hate my body, but I am not fat. The numbers on the scale show that my weight is perfect for my height, so I try not to fixate on it. Yes, I think even still, I'd be delighted to see the numbers go down; I still feel frustrated when I get bloated and retain water before my period every month, but you have to quit living your life ruled by scales, diets, exercise, food fixations.

You just have to move past it. Even when I was very skinny, I secretly delighted every time the numbers went even lower. You never feel thin enough to let up your vigilance and just relax.

I've just had to start doing what I know logically is right; not what the ED tells me. Logically, I know my weight is perfect for my height. Logically, I know I'm fit and healthy. Therefore, I am not going to restrict and/or overexercise, purge, abuse diet pills or laxatives. Logically, I know the meals I'm eating are normal amounts--I knew when I had the ED that I was eating too little that if any other person told me they ate what I did in a day, I'd chew them out about a good diet and exercise program and that what they were doing was not healthy or safe.

Put the scale away (better yet, throw it away) and continue to focus on recovery. You deserve to be happy and healthy and not ruled by a number.

Don't do it. I've been in active recovery for years now and just recently I was at the doctor and looked at my weight which had gone down since the last time I had looked.

That’s all it took for my ED to kick in. My ED loves the power of numbers. It wasn't about feeling or looking fat, because my body image issues always tell me I'm something other than what I really am. It was about the numbers going down, now I am obsessed with them going down more.

Just the simple act of going to the doctor and stepping on the scale (and actually looking at the numbers) is a deadly trap for me. Just don't do it.

GloBones

thanks too GloBones (i must have been writing still when you posted). its insane how powerful the numbers on the scale are. it seems so illogical to judge your self worth on a figure that appears on the scale, but its so strong and deep-seated that i imagine il probably be like you and even after a long time in recovery will stil need to just steer clear of being weighed, or risk going backwards. i hope you can take control of the ED and this is only a small lapse, best wishes.