gunnerb52
02-26-2007, 12:14 PM
I hate triggers you can be doing just fine thinking that you have made a lot of progress and then someone or some thing sets off a trigger, and there you go right back to were it all began. It is just like being there all over again the sights, the smells and the sounds, I hate it, relay brings you down you know.
Over time you would think that it would get better well some are so deep that they don't seem to get better, being able to recognize them does help but it doesn't make it any easier either sometimes. Take loud noises I am to the point that I look to see were they are coming from yes it still puts me on full alert but I am not hugging the ground, sometimes though depending on the noise and how close it is hard to tell what the reaction will be.
The worst trigger for me is a crying child I was on a chopper that medovac one, the father was holding the Young child its face was messed up real bad. The pilot red lined that chopper all the way to the hospital I still here that baby crying over the noise of that chopper, never found out if the baby made it or not. To this day a kid crying sets me off puts right back in that chopper, nothing I can do about it then and nothing I can do about it now, I know this but it still has a profound effect on me, I flash back it only last for a moment but the effects take days or weeks to wear off half to work through it again.
We all have triggers and half to deal with them in different ways, hopefully in a manner that promotes good health both mentally and physically.
Peace
gunner
Over time you would think that it would get better well some are so deep that they don't seem to get better, being able to recognize them does help but it doesn't make it any easier either sometimes. Take loud noises I am to the point that I look to see were they are coming from yes it still puts me on full alert but I am not hugging the ground, sometimes though depending on the noise and how close it is hard to tell what the reaction will be.
The worst trigger for me is a crying child I was on a chopper that medovac one, the father was holding the Young child its face was messed up real bad. The pilot red lined that chopper all the way to the hospital I still here that baby crying over the noise of that chopper, never found out if the baby made it or not. To this day a kid crying sets me off puts right back in that chopper, nothing I can do about it then and nothing I can do about it now, I know this but it still has a profound effect on me, I flash back it only last for a moment but the effects take days or weeks to wear off half to work through it again.
We all have triggers and half to deal with them in different ways, hopefully in a manner that promotes good health both mentally and physically.
Peace
gunner
Sponsor
Sannah
02-26-2007, 12:19 PM
Hi Gunner, wow, I'm really sorry about those flashbacks. That crying child one, OMG. Sid probably has some words of wisdom for you. Just wanted to give you some support!
gunnerb52
02-26-2007, 12:43 PM
Sannah
Thank you I have been working on it for a long time sometimes I can get through just sort of push my way through it and others just half to leave the area, You do what you half to. There are may ways to cope with triggers the trick is to find one that will work.
peace and thank you
gunner
Thank you I have been working on it for a long time sometimes I can get through just sort of push my way through it and others just half to leave the area, You do what you half to. There are may ways to cope with triggers the trick is to find one that will work.
peace and thank you
gunner
ICC
02-26-2007, 02:17 PM
Hi gunner --- I agree with you totally. TRIGGERS!!!! a big problem to us. I think I now know what most of mine are BUT dealing with them is a whole other ballpark. Sometimes I know immediately what's happening and act accordingly and other times it takes me days to realize what's going on and the whole time having that anxious shaky feeling. we'll work on this. all of us.
Peace,
Grasshopper
Peace,
Grasshopper
stick2013
02-26-2007, 04:19 PM
Hi Gunner,
I'm sure that you know this one is a hard one to deal with... Crying children can be everywhere. I do have a few questions though....
I know that the crying brings on the flashback, that it's a trigger...but you mentioned that the effects last for days or weeks, and that you get over the flashback in a few minutes. My question is......Is it the effect of the flashback that takes getting over, or is it the fact that you never found out if the child made it or not????
You were on the medvac.....Were you a medic?
It weird.... I just ended a friendship of 20 yrs with a Nam vet, he did 2 tours in Nam. One as a medic, and one as a chopper pilot. He was shot down, his co-pilot was shot in the head and died there. He went back to Nam 2 yrs ago, and paid someone to smuggle him across the border to go to the place where he was shot down, and to pay his respects to his co pilot. His body was never recovered.
He never talked much about Nam, NEVER talked about PTSD, triggers, or any of it. He just got crabbier, and crabbier each year. He has a heart condition, PTSD, and MS(from agent orange) He is on full benefits. I miss him every day, and wish that things could be different.....But they aren't....
Sid
I'm sure that you know this one is a hard one to deal with... Crying children can be everywhere. I do have a few questions though....
I know that the crying brings on the flashback, that it's a trigger...but you mentioned that the effects last for days or weeks, and that you get over the flashback in a few minutes. My question is......Is it the effect of the flashback that takes getting over, or is it the fact that you never found out if the child made it or not????
You were on the medvac.....Were you a medic?
It weird.... I just ended a friendship of 20 yrs with a Nam vet, he did 2 tours in Nam. One as a medic, and one as a chopper pilot. He was shot down, his co-pilot was shot in the head and died there. He went back to Nam 2 yrs ago, and paid someone to smuggle him across the border to go to the place where he was shot down, and to pay his respects to his co pilot. His body was never recovered.
He never talked much about Nam, NEVER talked about PTSD, triggers, or any of it. He just got crabbier, and crabbier each year. He has a heart condition, PTSD, and MS(from agent orange) He is on full benefits. I miss him every day, and wish that things could be different.....But they aren't....
Sid
gunnerb52
02-26-2007, 06:06 PM
Hi Gunner,
I'm sure that you know this one is a hard one to deal with... Crying children can be everywhere. I do have a few questions though....
I know that the crying brings on the flashback, that it's a trigger...but you mentioned that the effects last for days or weeks, and that you get over the flashback in a few minutes. My question is......Is it the effect of the flashback that takes getting over, or is it the fact that you never found out if the child made it or not????
You were on the medvac.....Were you a medic?
It weird.... I just ended a friendship of 20 yrs with a Nam vet, he did 2 tours in Nam. One as a medic, and one as a chopper pilot. He was shot down, his co-pilot was shot in the head and died there. He went back to Nam 2 yrs ago, and paid someone to smuggle him across the border to go to the place where he was shot down, and to pay his respects to his co pilot. His body was never recovered.
He never talked much about Nam, NEVER talked about PTSD, triggers, or any of it. He just got crabbier, and crabbier each year. He has a heart condition, PTSD, and MS(from agent orange) He is on full benefits. I miss him every day, and wish that things could be different.....But they aren't....
Sid
Hi Sid
I will try to answer your questions. It is the effect of the flashback the flood of emotions that come with it sometimes, all these little doors and dams that we keep closed in our minds to block out the hurt are suddenly open it can be overwhelming. Sometimes I can get back under control quickly and others it takes some time. It gets hard dealing with things over and over you would think that once or even twice was enough but it seems like it is endless it will always be there. Yes part of it not knowing if the child made it.
I was on that chopper giving a guy a day down (off) it was suppose to be nothing happing, see I was Air Force, the medovac was a in the right place in an emergency to help out. We were taking in a couple of cases of supplies in and going to have lunch when we got the call just before we landed that they needed a medovac right now for the kid so we did it........
I spent 20 yrs in the Air Force part of it as a gunner on B-52's it was all structured enough that I function quite well. Then I retired a few years after that my world cam crashing down everything hit at one time, that is how I found about PTSD. It has been a hard lesson I have learned somethings that help me cope and know that there are times when nothing seems to help. I live out in the country and have a Loving Wife of almost 7 yrs now who is very patient and understanding and seems to know when I need a hug or a shoulder.
As to your friend I feel sad for him he is keeping it all locked up in side and it will come out just hope he has a safety net when it does. It does sound like he is dealing with some of it though his trip back is more than I could do. I have trouble just going to the Wall in DC been there a couple of times each time has been hard but worth the effort. I am also on full benefits my doctor says I will never be aloud to work again
One saying we had in group that my apply here "We can do together what I can not do alone" Hope your friend and the rest of us also find some peace.
I hope I answered your questions.
Peace
gunner
I'm sure that you know this one is a hard one to deal with... Crying children can be everywhere. I do have a few questions though....
I know that the crying brings on the flashback, that it's a trigger...but you mentioned that the effects last for days or weeks, and that you get over the flashback in a few minutes. My question is......Is it the effect of the flashback that takes getting over, or is it the fact that you never found out if the child made it or not????
You were on the medvac.....Were you a medic?
It weird.... I just ended a friendship of 20 yrs with a Nam vet, he did 2 tours in Nam. One as a medic, and one as a chopper pilot. He was shot down, his co-pilot was shot in the head and died there. He went back to Nam 2 yrs ago, and paid someone to smuggle him across the border to go to the place where he was shot down, and to pay his respects to his co pilot. His body was never recovered.
He never talked much about Nam, NEVER talked about PTSD, triggers, or any of it. He just got crabbier, and crabbier each year. He has a heart condition, PTSD, and MS(from agent orange) He is on full benefits. I miss him every day, and wish that things could be different.....But they aren't....
Sid
Hi Sid
I will try to answer your questions. It is the effect of the flashback the flood of emotions that come with it sometimes, all these little doors and dams that we keep closed in our minds to block out the hurt are suddenly open it can be overwhelming. Sometimes I can get back under control quickly and others it takes some time. It gets hard dealing with things over and over you would think that once or even twice was enough but it seems like it is endless it will always be there. Yes part of it not knowing if the child made it.
I was on that chopper giving a guy a day down (off) it was suppose to be nothing happing, see I was Air Force, the medovac was a in the right place in an emergency to help out. We were taking in a couple of cases of supplies in and going to have lunch when we got the call just before we landed that they needed a medovac right now for the kid so we did it........
I spent 20 yrs in the Air Force part of it as a gunner on B-52's it was all structured enough that I function quite well. Then I retired a few years after that my world cam crashing down everything hit at one time, that is how I found about PTSD. It has been a hard lesson I have learned somethings that help me cope and know that there are times when nothing seems to help. I live out in the country and have a Loving Wife of almost 7 yrs now who is very patient and understanding and seems to know when I need a hug or a shoulder.
As to your friend I feel sad for him he is keeping it all locked up in side and it will come out just hope he has a safety net when it does. It does sound like he is dealing with some of it though his trip back is more than I could do. I have trouble just going to the Wall in DC been there a couple of times each time has been hard but worth the effort. I am also on full benefits my doctor says I will never be aloud to work again
One saying we had in group that my apply here "We can do together what I can not do alone" Hope your friend and the rest of us also find some peace.
I hope I answered your questions.
Peace
gunner
stick2013
02-26-2007, 06:34 PM
Hi Gunner,
Yes I too know about all of the places in our minds that we hide things, and when they creep out.......Hell breaks loose. I have often wondered this.....When we have been through the trauma and have lived the pain....WHY does our mind take us back there time and time again. I could never find an answer to that question...I have asked many people.....
It must have been hell in Nam... Then you returned and were hated for being there doing your job. My friends biggest problem is with the way he was treated when he got back the first time, so he re-uped for another tour....
Not knowing if the child made it or not, must be hard. Be grateful that you guys were there to medovac him out . I have no words of wisdom to help ease the pain of that one. I guess it was left in gods hand....
My friend had problems dealing with intamacy. It was one of the bigger problems in our relationship. We lived together for 7 yrs, and I just couldn't take the rejection anymore so I moved out. We remained friends until this past yr. He is a very angry man. But a best friend, and wonderful person, and someone that would do anything for you.... I think that he carries tons of guilt because of Nam. He has made friends with EVERY Person from Vietnam that lives within this community.
Have you always lived in Maine????? My friend was originally from Maine. Most of his family is still there. HIs parents both past in the last 5 yrs, but he has brothers, and sisters there still.
You know the drill.... Stay in the here and now, stay grounded, deal with the flashbacks as best as you can, and knowing you triggers helps......I wish there was more that I could do for you....I'm glad that your wife is there and grounds you.
Hugs,
Sid
Yes I too know about all of the places in our minds that we hide things, and when they creep out.......Hell breaks loose. I have often wondered this.....When we have been through the trauma and have lived the pain....WHY does our mind take us back there time and time again. I could never find an answer to that question...I have asked many people.....
It must have been hell in Nam... Then you returned and were hated for being there doing your job. My friends biggest problem is with the way he was treated when he got back the first time, so he re-uped for another tour....
Not knowing if the child made it or not, must be hard. Be grateful that you guys were there to medovac him out . I have no words of wisdom to help ease the pain of that one. I guess it was left in gods hand....
My friend had problems dealing with intamacy. It was one of the bigger problems in our relationship. We lived together for 7 yrs, and I just couldn't take the rejection anymore so I moved out. We remained friends until this past yr. He is a very angry man. But a best friend, and wonderful person, and someone that would do anything for you.... I think that he carries tons of guilt because of Nam. He has made friends with EVERY Person from Vietnam that lives within this community.
Have you always lived in Maine????? My friend was originally from Maine. Most of his family is still there. HIs parents both past in the last 5 yrs, but he has brothers, and sisters there still.
You know the drill.... Stay in the here and now, stay grounded, deal with the flashbacks as best as you can, and knowing you triggers helps......I wish there was more that I could do for you....I'm glad that your wife is there and grounds you.
Hugs,
Sid
gunnerb52
02-26-2007, 07:39 PM
Hi Sid
I have always wondered if the child made it or not I will never find out and I know that. Like you said it was in God's hands not ours.
Intimacy came very hard I had walls up all over the place no one could get to me, but my wife just walked right through them and said hi, I was sure surprised, scared and happy at the same time. Like I said almost 7 yrs and still not a fight that has got to be some kind of record, don't know how we do it either, just talk things out without fighting.
As to living in Maine I was stationed at Loring AFB, my father spent 20 yrs in the Air Force and we traveled and I spent 20 yrs in also. I liked the hunting and fishing in Maine and decided to stay after I retired. I have lived in Maine since the early 80's like the weather.
I keep to the drill and watch out for triggers. Living in the country helps a lot.....
Peace
gunner
I have always wondered if the child made it or not I will never find out and I know that. Like you said it was in God's hands not ours.
Intimacy came very hard I had walls up all over the place no one could get to me, but my wife just walked right through them and said hi, I was sure surprised, scared and happy at the same time. Like I said almost 7 yrs and still not a fight that has got to be some kind of record, don't know how we do it either, just talk things out without fighting.
As to living in Maine I was stationed at Loring AFB, my father spent 20 yrs in the Air Force and we traveled and I spent 20 yrs in also. I liked the hunting and fishing in Maine and decided to stay after I retired. I have lived in Maine since the early 80's like the weather.
I keep to the drill and watch out for triggers. Living in the country helps a lot.....
Peace
gunner
stick2013
02-26-2007, 10:21 PM
Hi Gunner,
Yes I would imagin that living in the country would help.....No people!!!!! LOL!!! Isolation a word so familar with those who have PTSD......I live in a small city, and yet I am alone, and love it.
My friend David, has so many walls that they will never be penetrated. I actually asked him once....."You tell me all the time that you love me, why is it that you can't make love to me then?." His answer......God I can laugh today when I think about it, but it hurt like hell then. He said," I do love you, but could I just change the oil in your car to show you?" Rejection is one of my triggers for depression, not so much PTSD...
My biggest triggers for PTSD.....Being called a liar.....Dead bodies....There are many more, but those are the worst.....
Sleep well,
Sid
Yes I would imagin that living in the country would help.....No people!!!!! LOL!!! Isolation a word so familar with those who have PTSD......I live in a small city, and yet I am alone, and love it.
My friend David, has so many walls that they will never be penetrated. I actually asked him once....."You tell me all the time that you love me, why is it that you can't make love to me then?." His answer......God I can laugh today when I think about it, but it hurt like hell then. He said," I do love you, but could I just change the oil in your car to show you?" Rejection is one of my triggers for depression, not so much PTSD...
My biggest triggers for PTSD.....Being called a liar.....Dead bodies....There are many more, but those are the worst.....
Sleep well,
Sid
galinaqt
02-26-2007, 11:56 PM
Being trigged by mother again. Happened every time we see each other. I can't refuse seeing her with the way things are.
She overhead me complaining to somebody about how unhappy I was in our former country. It probably pissed her off, her thing is too show that we had minor inconveniences thanks to her taking care of everything which is bs.
According to her since she is also worked in our ex-country and had difficulties but happily survived it, problem is with me. One may think that all jobs are exactly the same and can't be tolerable and intolerable cituations. She had first tuff year but then thanked to her beyound average talents and luck she was able to get better job. It didn't happen to me. Other problems she just put on me. I ended up working 2 shifts and weekends in intolerable conditions for years, while she had one job she liked with good schedule. Even though she had health problems, but she did a lot of things for herself and called me only to ask something.
She overhead me complaining to somebody about how unhappy I was in our former country. It probably pissed her off, her thing is too show that we had minor inconveniences thanks to her taking care of everything which is bs.
According to her since she is also worked in our ex-country and had difficulties but happily survived it, problem is with me. One may think that all jobs are exactly the same and can't be tolerable and intolerable cituations. She had first tuff year but then thanked to her beyound average talents and luck she was able to get better job. It didn't happen to me. Other problems she just put on me. I ended up working 2 shifts and weekends in intolerable conditions for years, while she had one job she liked with good schedule. Even though she had health problems, but she did a lot of things for herself and called me only to ask something.
stick2013
02-27-2007, 06:30 AM
Galinagt,
Your mother is the root of your problems. You seem to dislike her very much. What I don't understand is WHY you keep going back for more. You don't like her, you get angry with her all the time, and she upsets you, and yet you go there anyway. I don't care who it is, if a person upsets me that much I STAY AWAY!!!!!!!! You say that your father needs a break from her, well LET HIM FIND someone to sit with her, it's NOT your problem.....
You will feel much better if you stayed away.....But you will do what you have to...and make up your own mind.
Sid
Your mother is the root of your problems. You seem to dislike her very much. What I don't understand is WHY you keep going back for more. You don't like her, you get angry with her all the time, and she upsets you, and yet you go there anyway. I don't care who it is, if a person upsets me that much I STAY AWAY!!!!!!!! You say that your father needs a break from her, well LET HIM FIND someone to sit with her, it's NOT your problem.....
You will feel much better if you stayed away.....But you will do what you have to...and make up your own mind.
Sid
ICC
02-27-2007, 08:36 AM
galinaqt --- i'm with Sid totaly on this one. You and I have talked many times from way back when. Your mother is the root of your problems and the reason you cannot get out from under. I know this as I had the same situation with mine. Everything was always her way, better for her, worse for her, whatevet HER, HER, HER!!!! Eveyone else should just suck it up because it wasn't happening to HER. A long as you let her berate you and emotionally abuse you I don't see how youwill ever come to terms with the hurt and traumas you ahve experienced. always here for you.
gunner --- After being married to a Nam Vet for 25 years and spending 4 years before that dating I have to tell you what hope I have for your recovery. When he returned from Nam he went directly to the Chicago riots being told to shoot whoever. This was the "icing on the cake" for him as He served with all races and some who saved his life. There was no way he could shoot possible their mother, sister, brother, etc. I believe he totally lost his mind at that point. He has always used alcohol to deaden the pain and this being my main reason for divorcing him, continues 15 years after our divorce. I have no doubt that the man loved me and our daughters but still to this day refuses to "remember" When our middle daughter died she was not viewable. He kept saying he would view her as he was in Nam and had seen it all. I stopped this and held my ground telling him this was his daughter and that I would not be apart of putting another horrific vision in his mind. I watched for many years the tears and pain of what he had seen, him losing it and dressing up as Rambo as he knew VC was out front of our house. So he continues to drown himself in alcohol to survive. I am proud to know you as it is a horrible situation that you have lived through and are surviving. God bless and keep you safe. Give your loving wife a hug and continue your progression into recovery. you deserve it.
Hugs and love,
Grasshopper xo
gunner --- After being married to a Nam Vet for 25 years and spending 4 years before that dating I have to tell you what hope I have for your recovery. When he returned from Nam he went directly to the Chicago riots being told to shoot whoever. This was the "icing on the cake" for him as He served with all races and some who saved his life. There was no way he could shoot possible their mother, sister, brother, etc. I believe he totally lost his mind at that point. He has always used alcohol to deaden the pain and this being my main reason for divorcing him, continues 15 years after our divorce. I have no doubt that the man loved me and our daughters but still to this day refuses to "remember" When our middle daughter died she was not viewable. He kept saying he would view her as he was in Nam and had seen it all. I stopped this and held my ground telling him this was his daughter and that I would not be apart of putting another horrific vision in his mind. I watched for many years the tears and pain of what he had seen, him losing it and dressing up as Rambo as he knew VC was out front of our house. So he continues to drown himself in alcohol to survive. I am proud to know you as it is a horrible situation that you have lived through and are surviving. God bless and keep you safe. Give your loving wife a hug and continue your progression into recovery. you deserve it.
Hugs and love,
Grasshopper xo
gunnerb52
02-27-2007, 10:58 AM
Grasshopper
You tried as hard as you could to get him help he was into self medication, allot of vets do, the drugs and alcohol as a way of dulling the pain, doesn't really work just causes other problems. I know it is sad that he has not gotten any help but he may wake up someday and try I hope he does. They do have programs now to help the vets who are on alcohol and have PTSD, I hope and pray he will find the help he needs.
Just remember it is up to him you could not force him to get help, wouldn't do any good unless he wanted it to begin with, you did all you could. He is responsible for him self just like I am and you are we have made are choices to get help or not too, there is still time for him if he chooses to, will not be easy but there is always hope.
peace
gunner
You tried as hard as you could to get him help he was into self medication, allot of vets do, the drugs and alcohol as a way of dulling the pain, doesn't really work just causes other problems. I know it is sad that he has not gotten any help but he may wake up someday and try I hope he does. They do have programs now to help the vets who are on alcohol and have PTSD, I hope and pray he will find the help he needs.
Just remember it is up to him you could not force him to get help, wouldn't do any good unless he wanted it to begin with, you did all you could. He is responsible for him self just like I am and you are we have made are choices to get help or not too, there is still time for him if he chooses to, will not be easy but there is always hope.
peace
gunner
ICC
02-27-2007, 11:13 AM
hi gunner --- i gave up my quest for saving him a long time ago. knew he was a good man and tried to educate myself so i knew what i was delaing with and he is the father of my 3 daughter . but you are right it's on him. he knows the alcohol won't change anything but prefers self-medication to remembering. When i was dx with PTSD he was the first one I called as I knew he would understand. I give you so much repect and compassion in your quest for recovery as I have seen first hand the other route. God bless you and keep you and your wife safe.
Peace,
Grasshopper:wave:
Peace,
Grasshopper:wave:
galinaqt
02-27-2007, 11:13 AM
Galinagt,
Your mother is the root of your problems. You seem to dislike her very much. What I don't understand is WHY you keep going back for more. You don't like her, you get angry with her all the time, and she upsets you, and yet you go there anyway. I don't care who it is, if a person upsets me that much I STAY AWAY!!!!!!!! You say that your father needs a break from her, well LET HIM FIND someone to sit with her, it's NOT your problem.....
You will feel much better if you stayed away.....But you will do what you have to...and make up your own mind.
Sid
My father has to go to different area, where my brother lives to do big denture work. It is twice cheaper there than in our area. He has one or may be more times left. My mother has to have somebody to stay overnight with her and there is nobody else. She manage to be in bad relationships with relatives who could of do it. I am trying to avoid her other than that, which already causing a rift.
I guess root is her incredible egoism and ability to twist things around that just her is a victim and everybody else should be happy and suck it up if it is convenient for her.
Your mother is the root of your problems. You seem to dislike her very much. What I don't understand is WHY you keep going back for more. You don't like her, you get angry with her all the time, and she upsets you, and yet you go there anyway. I don't care who it is, if a person upsets me that much I STAY AWAY!!!!!!!! You say that your father needs a break from her, well LET HIM FIND someone to sit with her, it's NOT your problem.....
You will feel much better if you stayed away.....But you will do what you have to...and make up your own mind.
Sid
My father has to go to different area, where my brother lives to do big denture work. It is twice cheaper there than in our area. He has one or may be more times left. My mother has to have somebody to stay overnight with her and there is nobody else. She manage to be in bad relationships with relatives who could of do it. I am trying to avoid her other than that, which already causing a rift.
I guess root is her incredible egoism and ability to twist things around that just her is a victim and everybody else should be happy and suck it up if it is convenient for her.
ICC
02-27-2007, 01:50 PM
galinaqt --- u I understand having no one else to sty with your mother. if it's not affordable to have an aid stay and you have to I believe it would be very beneficial to you to start building boundaries and DO NOT let her cross them. As soon as she starts to make you feel bad, guilty, worthless or any other button she pushes you need to tell her you will not put up with it anymore and leave the room. If she persists, and you are stuck ther , just keep saying it. I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR BELITTLING OR VERBAL ABUSE OF ME ANY LONGER. you need to stop allowing her to get under your skin or you will be miserable for the rest of your life and that is not fair to you.
Hugs,
Grasshopper
Hugs,
Grasshopper
gunnerb52
02-28-2007, 11:24 AM
One thing we know all of us I believe have triggers and handle them the best we can, some better than others. I have some triggers that I do not recognize or know what the reason for them are someday I hope to figure them out.
The important thing is to recognize our triggers and find ways of dealing with them in a healthy/safe manner. It is not always easy to do this I know sometimes triggers can push you so deep in to the pit that it is hard to see any light to guide you out again. When this happens we half to work even harder and call on our friends and remember those that are close to us also for help. Sometimes just a word will do other times it may take time and a lot of words to help you remember what is important, YOU ARE, your love ones and friends don't want to lose you always keep that in mind, there are those who really care around you, they may be here or a phone call away or closer.
Stay safe
Peace
gunner
The important thing is to recognize our triggers and find ways of dealing with them in a healthy/safe manner. It is not always easy to do this I know sometimes triggers can push you so deep in to the pit that it is hard to see any light to guide you out again. When this happens we half to work even harder and call on our friends and remember those that are close to us also for help. Sometimes just a word will do other times it may take time and a lot of words to help you remember what is important, YOU ARE, your love ones and friends don't want to lose you always keep that in mind, there are those who really care around you, they may be here or a phone call away or closer.
Stay safe
Peace
gunner
galinaqt
02-28-2007, 11:27 AM
I like the idea of writing and burning letter. Anger release cd is basically same thing. You are telling person who hurt you what you feel about him in privacy of your own house. Trying to do it in real life will put you in never ending loop, 'cause person has his/her vision and hurt you back.
ICC
02-28-2007, 12:23 PM
Absolutely galinaqt --- that's why I have done the writing and burning ritual several times pertaining to several abusers. I got it all out, no one coming back at me for once, and then burned my feelings as an ending. I have come away totally indifferent towards these abusers. I have run into my mother maybe 3 times since then and have been able to calmly say "hello, how are you" and walk away without shaking from something she said. works wonders.
Gunner --- I agree. triggers are at the root. Once we know what they are, and you are right some we cannot figure out, accept them,deal with them and come up with a healthy way to handle them we beging to recover. I find my anxiety level has been cut down to almost nothing by doing this. That shaky feeling was something i suffered for over 30 years and hated. Never knew why until I came here.
Best to all,
Grasshopper
Gunner --- I agree. triggers are at the root. Once we know what they are, and you are right some we cannot figure out, accept them,deal with them and come up with a healthy way to handle them we beging to recover. I find my anxiety level has been cut down to almost nothing by doing this. That shaky feeling was something i suffered for over 30 years and hated. Never knew why until I came here.
Best to all,
Grasshopper
stick2013
02-28-2007, 02:25 PM
Hi Guys,
My biggest triggers are the ones that I have a very hard time controling. Call me a liar, and my world just spun out of whack with the universe. The depression hits, the flashbacks take over, the crying starts, and I can no longer function as a human being. I don't care about anything or anyone. My ONLY THOUGHT IS DEATH!!!!!! I just want OUT of here. AWAY from the hell, I want it all to just STOP..... It takes several months to get to that point, but when I finally get there, NOTHING can stop me. I feel it, and I have no energy to stop, nor do I have the will. I just want the pain, and misery to end.....I just can't explain how bad it gets, and nothing seems to help.
So there you have it.......I am great at almost everyone of my triggers, except for 2......Being called a liar is the worst one.....Dead bodies is bad, but not as bad. I can manage to come back to earth after awhile. It manily depends on who it was, and how close I was to that person....
The next one will be tough.....My little 14 yr old sweetie with CF.......How his parents function everyday is beyond me. They are 2 of the most wonderful people I have ever met. They would give the world to save their son. They have given him a truly wonderful life. He is the most giving kid I have ever known. I have seen this little boy so sick, that it broke my heart, and if you asked him how he was..... He would give you that crokked little smile of his, and say, "Oh, I'm ok." NEVER in the 10 yrs I have known him have I EVER heard this child COMPLAIN......Even after his 2 lung operations. Even though he has a feeding tube, and ports, and IV anti-biotics at home almost daily... He is such a trooper. So his death will send me. The world will lose a truly giving, wonderful god loving child. Yes he believes in god. Both his parent are Ministers, and absolutly beautiful people. I am so grateful to have known them.........
Hugs,
Sid
My biggest triggers are the ones that I have a very hard time controling. Call me a liar, and my world just spun out of whack with the universe. The depression hits, the flashbacks take over, the crying starts, and I can no longer function as a human being. I don't care about anything or anyone. My ONLY THOUGHT IS DEATH!!!!!! I just want OUT of here. AWAY from the hell, I want it all to just STOP..... It takes several months to get to that point, but when I finally get there, NOTHING can stop me. I feel it, and I have no energy to stop, nor do I have the will. I just want the pain, and misery to end.....I just can't explain how bad it gets, and nothing seems to help.
So there you have it.......I am great at almost everyone of my triggers, except for 2......Being called a liar is the worst one.....Dead bodies is bad, but not as bad. I can manage to come back to earth after awhile. It manily depends on who it was, and how close I was to that person....
The next one will be tough.....My little 14 yr old sweetie with CF.......How his parents function everyday is beyond me. They are 2 of the most wonderful people I have ever met. They would give the world to save their son. They have given him a truly wonderful life. He is the most giving kid I have ever known. I have seen this little boy so sick, that it broke my heart, and if you asked him how he was..... He would give you that crokked little smile of his, and say, "Oh, I'm ok." NEVER in the 10 yrs I have known him have I EVER heard this child COMPLAIN......Even after his 2 lung operations. Even though he has a feeding tube, and ports, and IV anti-biotics at home almost daily... He is such a trooper. So his death will send me. The world will lose a truly giving, wonderful god loving child. Yes he believes in god. Both his parent are Ministers, and absolutly beautiful people. I am so grateful to have known them.........
Hugs,
Sid
gunnerb52
03-03-2007, 07:34 AM
Sid
Sorry for taking so long, sounds like you have and angel in waiting, they can show you what it really means to live. They take every thing that is thrown at them and just keep on being a shining example for the rest of the world to follow. If the world would follow there example it would really be a great place to live.
Your friends will be here for you when the time comes, be safe and may good bless you and your angel.
peace
gunner
Sorry for taking so long, sounds like you have and angel in waiting, they can show you what it really means to live. They take every thing that is thrown at them and just keep on being a shining example for the rest of the world to follow. If the world would follow there example it would really be a great place to live.
Your friends will be here for you when the time comes, be safe and may good bless you and your angel.
peace
gunner
stick2013
03-03-2007, 07:54 AM
Hi Gunner,
Yes he is an :angel: in waiting. Actually he is an :angel: on earth. This kid has given so many people love and sheer joy of just knowing him. He is such a sweetie. I usually leave him $20 on his pillow when he goes into the hospital, so that when he comes home, it's a little something to smile about.($$$$ he really loves) The other day he had a big let down. I felt so bad for him...So before I left I snuck up to his bedroom and left him $50 with a note that said. "Because you are special, love Sponge Bob." It breaks my heart that such a sweet child is dying, and there are such rotten horrible scum bags that are living and doing mean despicable things to others.....Life is unfair.....
How are you doing with things?????
Sid
Yes he is an :angel: in waiting. Actually he is an :angel: on earth. This kid has given so many people love and sheer joy of just knowing him. He is such a sweetie. I usually leave him $20 on his pillow when he goes into the hospital, so that when he comes home, it's a little something to smile about.($$$$ he really loves) The other day he had a big let down. I felt so bad for him...So before I left I snuck up to his bedroom and left him $50 with a note that said. "Because you are special, love Sponge Bob." It breaks my heart that such a sweet child is dying, and there are such rotten horrible scum bags that are living and doing mean despicable things to others.....Life is unfair.....
How are you doing with things?????
Sid
ICC
03-03-2007, 08:48 AM
Sid............ gunner..............Life is unfair. I have alot of questions for the Lord when I get there. When you see a situation like "your little friends" it really makes you wonder what this level, where we are right now, is all about. I always said this is a school yard. We are here to learn our lessons before we go to the next level. It appears most of the lessons we have had to learn are not pleasant ones. I believe it is to make us see how humans hurt humans, how unfair life is to others , that we don't have it as bad as others. Most importantly I believe we all have very giving hearts and souls and that is our mission here. We seem to al be very sensitive people. God brought us together for a reason. Maybe to make us all strongeer so that we can give what goood we have to the world. After all we do know the bad.
Peace to all,
Grasshopper:)
Peace to all,
Grasshopper:)
gunnerb52
03-03-2007, 11:15 AM
Hi Sid
If you don't mind give him a hug for me OK. To be fair I feel a little shaky and misty eyed.
peace
gunner
If you don't mind give him a hug for me OK. To be fair I feel a little shaky and misty eyed.
peace
gunner
stick2013
03-03-2007, 08:51 PM
ICC & Gunner....
ICC you are right on girl.........
Gunner,.....Thanks, I will......He is my buddy.....
Sid
ICC you are right on girl.........
Gunner,.....Thanks, I will......He is my buddy.....
Sid