I'm trying to understand where my Dad is now and what to expect. From what I have read I believe he has entered the last stage but in someways he doesn't fit this.

He is now in a wheelchair full time. He is unable to stand on his own. He cannot feed himself or hold a cup to drink. He has become combative at times. He has occasionally refused to eat, holding food in his mouth although I think most of the time he does eat just not near as much as he use to. He has lost 6 pounds since January although he has been in the hospital twice in the last 2 1/2 weeks from 2 different seizures and the nursing home says it is to be expected that he lose some weight. They are monitoring his weight weekly now.

His speech is unintelligible 1/2 to 3/4 of the time. But yet he still knows my name and who I am most of the time. He also knows that a picture in his room is his mom and can tell you what his brother's name is. Today, when my aunt visited with him she said he seemed to be having a conversation with someone else although she couldn't understand what he was saying. When she asked him if he was talking to her, he said no. When she asked him if he was talking to someone else, he said yes. There was no one else there. He basically does not talk much. He will answer me sometimes but if he doesn't understand me he will just not say anything.

He is in Depends and is completely incontinent both bowel and urine. When he sits upright, his head slumps forward and he is unable to hold it up except for a few seconds. He drools some now as if he isn't remembering to swallow.

I just don't know. I do know he would absulately hate being like this. The thought of him having to live like this is horrifying. We go see his neurologist again in a week and a half and I'm anxious to see what he has to say about this change in Dad.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hugs to all!

Jami

Hi Briesmom,

I hope that you are not taking care of your dad by yourself. You would be worn out and really strong!

In my opinion, he is nearly or already is Stage 7. I would think that most people that are in that stage, would be in a nursing home. Or perhaps hospice comes to yalls home?

I do not understand why your dad is still going to a neurologist. Does he need more medicine? My dad just goes to his family dr. and that is who he gets his pills on. He only goes to his neurologist 1 x year. But the Neuro. Dr. is the one that diagnosed him.

You are right, that it is really hard to see a loved one in this sad state. Just remember that when he dies, he will be his old self again and happy and well.

Take care of you.

Love, Wannabe

My mother is in just about the same condition as your Dad, except that she does not get angry.

She is 98 years old and is also suffering from heart failure and lung cancer. She does not have long to live.

She is in a wonderful, loving, caring nursing home, where she has been since Sept 2005.

I like to think of her as being fully resotred to her old self in the afterlife. That thought helps us get through this time.

I feel for you.

Love,

Martha

Jami......I also hope you are not taking on this responsibility by yourself! If so, such a task! My Mom has been many years in a wonderful Alzhiemer's facility and is in the last stage also. The caretakers are absolutely wonderful and very appreciated.

Several things you mentioned are very similiar. I often have to remind Mom to swallow...she simply does not remember that bodily function. Sometimes she will just keep chewing the food, or hold liquid in her mouth not knowing what to do with it. This is just part of this horrendous disease.

When you mentioned "conversations"...it reminded me of the first time this happened with my own Mother. She kept calling me "Maxine"...the name of her only sibling who had died the year before. I gently told her Aunt Maxine had died....Mom said..."Well, she's standing right behind you!" Several times I have thought she is talking to someone....and who actually knows....maybe she IS seeing someone! I have come to accept this in my mind as a gentle pathway for my Mother in the closing of her life...with persons she knows helping this transformation. Again.....who actually knows?!?

I lost 4 babies....3 miscarriages and one full term son. Once in a while Mom looks above me and says in perfect words..."Look at all the babies!" Her speech is usually garbled and rhyming syllables and when recognizable words come forth it always takes me by surprise.

Those of us who share in your heartache surely understand your challenges...and concerns. Please know my thoughts and prayers go each night for everyone dealing with this disease. Sending positive vibes your way.....Pam;)

:wave:
I have been taking care of an elderly lady that I love very dearly. I am no longer caring for her. someone else is now. Long story. anyway, the poor soul sounds alot like you dad. she is completely bedfast now no more wheelchair. She has lost weight drasticly, when she eats she will chew forever you would tell her to swollow but it was like she did not understand what you were saying. There were times when she would just spit the food back out. It would take on an average of about 2 hours to feed her. She has not been verbal for some time now , but last week all of a sudden she started saying go home and Im ready and take me . She would call her daughter her sisters name along time ago. She will yell for her mommy and daddy and her brothers. She would become very violent. She cries non stop just about 24 /7 when you change her she will try to knock your brains out or pinch the blood out of your arm or whatever she can get ahold of. I feel so sorry for her. When she does sleep she will talk to people and answer them as if they are talking to her. when she is not crying you can watch her and her eyes move llike she is following something in the room. Nothing that we did would calm her down.NOTHING. That is not why I quit caring for her. I could handle all of that. I hope the woman they hired in my place cares for her the way she needs to be cared for. I just wonder sometimes.

Dear Jami - hi and I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know how hard this is on you and your family. We went through the same thing with my Dad. He was in a VA nursing home when he became just like your Dad. They called and asked if we wanted them to put a feeding tube in, since Dad finally quit eating altogether. WE said no. We knew his wishes and that wasn't it. He lived a few days and went on to glory. It was a blessing to see him go. The last time we were with him we released him to go on. He waited the day after my Mom's birthday. I wish you peace in your Dad's passing. C