elmnop
03-01-2007, 01:06 PM
My husband was diagnosed with RRMS this past summer. He has been in remission but might be entering into a relapse as he is starting to get the fatigue that prompted him to go to the doctor in the first place.
My question is, he has extremely violent outbursts that he NEVER used to have. Sometimes, he literally frightens me and I am not one to frighten easily. We've had our share of fights and I'm never one to back down but I literally walk away and go into another room with our children if I get the sense that anything is brewing.
I can go into more detail if necessary but for now, this is just a general question. I decided to look for help here because last night I literally was at the point where I was going to take my children and leave (they are 4 and 20 months).
Thank you!
My question is, he has extremely violent outbursts that he NEVER used to have. Sometimes, he literally frightens me and I am not one to frighten easily. We've had our share of fights and I'm never one to back down but I literally walk away and go into another room with our children if I get the sense that anything is brewing.
I can go into more detail if necessary but for now, this is just a general question. I decided to look for help here because last night I literally was at the point where I was going to take my children and leave (they are 4 and 20 months).
Thank you!
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dgibson70
03-01-2007, 03:50 PM
I'm not a doctor so take this for what it's worth...
I don't think violence is a common symptom of MS. Could it be that he's just not coping well with this diagnosis? Have you told your neuro about these outbursts? My feeling is maybe this is his own way of coping with or way of not coping with such a difficult time. You know how men can be, even in the year 2007, they still want to be the providers so maybe he feels he can't be that anymore.
I do suggest though you talk to his doctor because if it's not psychological then there really could be something going on in his brain that is causing these mood swings.
I don't think violence is a common symptom of MS. Could it be that he's just not coping well with this diagnosis? Have you told your neuro about these outbursts? My feeling is maybe this is his own way of coping with or way of not coping with such a difficult time. You know how men can be, even in the year 2007, they still want to be the providers so maybe he feels he can't be that anymore.
I do suggest though you talk to his doctor because if it's not psychological then there really could be something going on in his brain that is causing these mood swings.
hkholwerda
03-01-2007, 05:02 PM
Is your husband on any meds? The reason I ask is because when I was on steriods I was very difficult to deal with. Once they were out of my system everything went pretty much back to normal......
Punkdizzle
03-01-2007, 07:05 PM
violent outbursts like what? i ask because i went through something like that shortly after my Dx of MS ( honestly i am still going though it)
i have always had a short temper and would yell at the drop of a hat if something got on my bad side or someone pushed the wrong buttons.. my wife was use to this and just let me be.. (9 times out of 10 it had nothing to do with her anyway) the only time she actually got scared was the first and only time i was put on oral steroids ( prednisone ) those things turned me into a crazy..
now it seems i am more prone to throw only what i can describe as little kid temper tantrums.. if something sets me off i will punch things/throw stuff or go outside and toss rocks against a tree till i get it out of my system and calm down.. (i have never touched another human though).. its pretty often if you see me working under a car chances are you will also see a tool come sailing out from underneath with a string of "sailor mouth" if i manage to hurt myself on something.. i wouldn't say its psychotic (and neither have any of my DRs ) they just seem to think i need to work on some anger management.. and i am more stressed now then i was before because of the MS Dx.. i may not really want to believe i am more stressed but subconsciously i probably am..
oh yeah and like hkholwerda said... meds can also cause this. even the ABCR drugs in some people..
i have always had a short temper and would yell at the drop of a hat if something got on my bad side or someone pushed the wrong buttons.. my wife was use to this and just let me be.. (9 times out of 10 it had nothing to do with her anyway) the only time she actually got scared was the first and only time i was put on oral steroids ( prednisone ) those things turned me into a crazy..
now it seems i am more prone to throw only what i can describe as little kid temper tantrums.. if something sets me off i will punch things/throw stuff or go outside and toss rocks against a tree till i get it out of my system and calm down.. (i have never touched another human though).. its pretty often if you see me working under a car chances are you will also see a tool come sailing out from underneath with a string of "sailor mouth" if i manage to hurt myself on something.. i wouldn't say its psychotic (and neither have any of my DRs ) they just seem to think i need to work on some anger management.. and i am more stressed now then i was before because of the MS Dx.. i may not really want to believe i am more stressed but subconsciously i probably am..
oh yeah and like hkholwerda said... meds can also cause this. even the ABCR drugs in some people..
elmnop
03-01-2007, 08:53 PM
Mostly, his outbursts are like my 4 year old sons, but on a larger scale... since he's bigger he can do a little more damage. Throwing or kicking things... but he will kick something until it is absolutely demolished.
It is a little embarrassing to even post this because I don't want to give the idea that I am a "battered woman" or in an "abusive relationship" as he has never laid a hand on me until last night. And, my dad taught me to take care of myself. Instincts in the following situation were to reach back and poke his eyes out - if he were a stranger, and not my husband.... but he is my husband and I know he's hurting, but I cannot live like this. He literally grabbed me from behind, around the throat and cut off my air supply and picked me up and started to twist. I'm a good 5'11" and 160lbs, I'm no featherweight. He's not a big guy. He's 6'0" and about 185lbs. I thought he was really going to kill me. I stopped struggling, reached back and smacked his face and he immediately loosened his hold and gently set me back down and started to cry and apologize. What got us to this point is that he called me a couple of really ugly names and I can only take so much before I start to mouth off as well.
PS - Both children were asleep and tucked safely in their rooms at the time.
I called his doctor today. But, his doctor will not even discuss the fact that he has an illness with me unless we both go in to an appointment together. So, today, no further incidents and hubby is still apologizing and we've made a doc appt to go together. Doc said to take Seroquel at bedtime (50mg) as it will help him sleep (he's fatigued yet an insomniac) and it is also an anti-psychotic. But, his doc says we do need to talk all of these things out.
The only other meds he takes are Topamax and Propanolol (I think that's how it's spelled). Doc said he would go on copaxone when he relapses again but doesn't want him on anything during remission as he doesn't want him to build up a tolerance.
All of this is very new, and frightening to us. I'm leaning more towards depression as his problem because he is also more prone to tears. I've seen him cry more in the last 6 months than in the previous 10 years we've been together.
I don't want to make him sound like a bad guy. He's normally a very gentle and loving person. He was always high strung and would get angry sometimes, but his anger would not culminate into these types of fits.
Thanks for listening.
And, I'm starting to wonder if this is the right doc. We like him, but it seems like he should be DOING more. Or am I wrong?
It is a little embarrassing to even post this because I don't want to give the idea that I am a "battered woman" or in an "abusive relationship" as he has never laid a hand on me until last night. And, my dad taught me to take care of myself. Instincts in the following situation were to reach back and poke his eyes out - if he were a stranger, and not my husband.... but he is my husband and I know he's hurting, but I cannot live like this. He literally grabbed me from behind, around the throat and cut off my air supply and picked me up and started to twist. I'm a good 5'11" and 160lbs, I'm no featherweight. He's not a big guy. He's 6'0" and about 185lbs. I thought he was really going to kill me. I stopped struggling, reached back and smacked his face and he immediately loosened his hold and gently set me back down and started to cry and apologize. What got us to this point is that he called me a couple of really ugly names and I can only take so much before I start to mouth off as well.
PS - Both children were asleep and tucked safely in their rooms at the time.
I called his doctor today. But, his doctor will not even discuss the fact that he has an illness with me unless we both go in to an appointment together. So, today, no further incidents and hubby is still apologizing and we've made a doc appt to go together. Doc said to take Seroquel at bedtime (50mg) as it will help him sleep (he's fatigued yet an insomniac) and it is also an anti-psychotic. But, his doc says we do need to talk all of these things out.
The only other meds he takes are Topamax and Propanolol (I think that's how it's spelled). Doc said he would go on copaxone when he relapses again but doesn't want him on anything during remission as he doesn't want him to build up a tolerance.
All of this is very new, and frightening to us. I'm leaning more towards depression as his problem because he is also more prone to tears. I've seen him cry more in the last 6 months than in the previous 10 years we've been together.
I don't want to make him sound like a bad guy. He's normally a very gentle and loving person. He was always high strung and would get angry sometimes, but his anger would not culminate into these types of fits.
Thanks for listening.
And, I'm starting to wonder if this is the right doc. We like him, but it seems like he should be DOING more. Or am I wrong?
Punkdizzle
03-01-2007, 10:47 PM
elmnop, wow i am so sorry that happened. i could never see myself laying a hand on anyone, ever.. no matter how mad i got. the only time i came close was when i was on the prednisone.. and even then it wasn't my wife.. not saying your husband is a bad guy.. he very well could be taking this Dx very hard and you know how most of us guys are.. we tend to show our sadness in anger.. for what reason i have no idea..
was he taking the Seroquel when this started? because even though it is an anti psychotic it can really make some people act weird.. not all meds work for all people...
honestly ( and this is just my opinion ) it sounds to me like it may be time to look for a new Dr if you have the option.. his Dr should talk to you about this type of thing and his MS over the phone and should have started him on the copaxon or one of the other injections as soon as he was DXed with MS.. you want to hit this illness ASAP with one of the ABCR injections.. thats just a rule of thumb i thought.. and as far as i know you do not built up a tolerance to the copaxone or the other MS injections (someone correct me if i am wrong)
i really think you are right though this does sound more like a depression/anxiety issue and since his Dx its just got out of control because he is hurting. those 2 problems can def. be from MS not from the illness its self but from the knowledge of knowing you have MS and the fear of not knowing what it may or may not do to you from day to day.
don't be a stranger around this board there are a lot of good people with a lot of knowledge on MS on here and most of them have been through some really bad/strange things dealing with it.. this illness just sucks plain and simple. but we all just keep on keeping on and support one another as best we can..
was he taking the Seroquel when this started? because even though it is an anti psychotic it can really make some people act weird.. not all meds work for all people...
honestly ( and this is just my opinion ) it sounds to me like it may be time to look for a new Dr if you have the option.. his Dr should talk to you about this type of thing and his MS over the phone and should have started him on the copaxon or one of the other injections as soon as he was DXed with MS.. you want to hit this illness ASAP with one of the ABCR injections.. thats just a rule of thumb i thought.. and as far as i know you do not built up a tolerance to the copaxone or the other MS injections (someone correct me if i am wrong)
i really think you are right though this does sound more like a depression/anxiety issue and since his Dx its just got out of control because he is hurting. those 2 problems can def. be from MS not from the illness its self but from the knowledge of knowing you have MS and the fear of not knowing what it may or may not do to you from day to day.
don't be a stranger around this board there are a lot of good people with a lot of knowledge on MS on here and most of them have been through some really bad/strange things dealing with it.. this illness just sucks plain and simple. but we all just keep on keeping on and support one another as best we can..
elmnop
03-02-2007, 02:39 AM
Thanks for the support and the advice Punk! I really do appreciate it. It was truly shocking and I'm still reeling because it truly was so completely out of character for him. I've known him going on 11 years. I absolutely cannot talk to family or friends about what happened because this is not something a loved one can hear and not freak out about. My mom would want me and the kids out of the house immediately and honestly, I don't know what my dad would do. Although, he has been through anger management training, lol.
I've been doing research and I've seen all these promising drugs and my husband WORKS for an insurance company so we happen to have pretty good coverage. And, it just seems stupid to not be on anything. I can see not putting him on the speed-type drugs unless he really needs them, but the other "maintenance" type things can help him stay in remission, right?
My husband likes his doc, because he's cool and he's just going along like everything's fine. But, I'm starting to take matters into my own hands and I've been researching treatment options and next appt, I'm going and I'm going well-armed. And, I'm starting the search for another neuro. This guy, nice as he is, is like.... I dunno... a serious pothead or something. I can't describe him any other way, nice and fun to be around, but totally useless. :D
Also, any of you tried histamine drops? Wow, that came outta nowhere, didn't it? It's late and I'm a little sleep deprived myself.
Oh, he was not on the seroquel when this started. But, we did have a breakthrough tonight. His breath smelled like ketones (if you've ever done atkins diet, you'd know) which kinda smells like alcohol and I asked him if he'd checked his sugar. And he told me that he had been having some sugar lows (he's also got some diabetic tendencies, but so far doesn't need meds) - I know from dealing with him in the past that he does get pretty nasty when his sugar drops. Last time he went to the regular doctor, they told him to come back for bloodwork for that and he let it slip. So, now I have to hound him on that too. But, hopefully, it's the sugar thing that's making him like that in combo with all the other crap.
It's not been an easy few months, I've been sick as well - I had pneumonia, then a bone infection (a filling fell out and I let it go, stupid me), then a root canal. So, he has had to pick up a little more of the load around the house and with the kids than usual.
Guess it's just all too much. Life's gotta get better, right? We both have very morbid senses of humor, and I'm sorry if this offends anyone - but I did crack him up tonight.... I said "Hey, look at it this way, if the MS doesn't getcha, maybe diabetes will make your feet fall off and you'll get that chair anyway." Again, sorry for the dark humor, that's the way we deal with life.
I've been doing research and I've seen all these promising drugs and my husband WORKS for an insurance company so we happen to have pretty good coverage. And, it just seems stupid to not be on anything. I can see not putting him on the speed-type drugs unless he really needs them, but the other "maintenance" type things can help him stay in remission, right?
My husband likes his doc, because he's cool and he's just going along like everything's fine. But, I'm starting to take matters into my own hands and I've been researching treatment options and next appt, I'm going and I'm going well-armed. And, I'm starting the search for another neuro. This guy, nice as he is, is like.... I dunno... a serious pothead or something. I can't describe him any other way, nice and fun to be around, but totally useless. :D
Also, any of you tried histamine drops? Wow, that came outta nowhere, didn't it? It's late and I'm a little sleep deprived myself.
Oh, he was not on the seroquel when this started. But, we did have a breakthrough tonight. His breath smelled like ketones (if you've ever done atkins diet, you'd know) which kinda smells like alcohol and I asked him if he'd checked his sugar. And he told me that he had been having some sugar lows (he's also got some diabetic tendencies, but so far doesn't need meds) - I know from dealing with him in the past that he does get pretty nasty when his sugar drops. Last time he went to the regular doctor, they told him to come back for bloodwork for that and he let it slip. So, now I have to hound him on that too. But, hopefully, it's the sugar thing that's making him like that in combo with all the other crap.
It's not been an easy few months, I've been sick as well - I had pneumonia, then a bone infection (a filling fell out and I let it go, stupid me), then a root canal. So, he has had to pick up a little more of the load around the house and with the kids than usual.
Guess it's just all too much. Life's gotta get better, right? We both have very morbid senses of humor, and I'm sorry if this offends anyone - but I did crack him up tonight.... I said "Hey, look at it this way, if the MS doesn't getcha, maybe diabetes will make your feet fall off and you'll get that chair anyway." Again, sorry for the dark humor, that's the way we deal with life.
TonyaM
03-02-2007, 09:30 PM
I am wondering if you can go pyschotic as well because that what happens to me...it happens because I am in so much pain...I truly believe you can go pyschotic if you are in a lot of pain...I do!
:blob_fire
-TonyaM
:blob_fire
-TonyaM
OliverBocca
03-02-2007, 10:38 PM
Hi, I have major emotional outburst myself (I'm a girl, so it is mostly tears)... my Neuro recommended I get on an SSRI type antidepressent to combat the emotional outbursts. He said it could be MS, it could be a side effect of the Avonext I take. The SSRIs will take care of both anxiety and depression; he said it should even out the emotions. I have an appointment next Friday with my regular Dr to get a perscription. Best of luck to you; be sure your husband gets help.
ynpwolfluvr
03-03-2007, 02:37 PM
:D :D :D Hi, I just had to comment on your humor. I love what you said! My husband has glaucoma and he forgets his eyedrops all the time. I still don't have a definitive dx but I keep telling him to take his eyedrops cuz I don't want a blind guy pushing my wheelchair around. I think humor makes everything easier to bear. :D :D :D
Punkdizzle
03-03-2007, 03:05 PM
yeah you really have to find the humor in things.. my personal favorite saying now is "i can only see out of one eye but yet i can still manage to drive better then 90% of the people in this town. what is their excuse!" the wife always gets a kick out of that.. laughing helps so much even if you are the only one that "gets" the joke..:D
elmnop
03-03-2007, 10:45 PM
:D :D :D Hi, I just had to comment on your humor. I love what you said! My husband has glaucoma and he forgets his eyedrops all the time. I still don't have a definitive dx but I keep telling him to take his eyedrops cuz I don't want a blind guy pushing my wheelchair around. I think humor makes everything easier to bear. :D :D :D
:D I am literally LOL. Thanks for the giggles! Laughter is the best medicine in a lot of cases.
:D I am literally LOL. Thanks for the giggles! Laughter is the best medicine in a lot of cases.