Hi Everyone,

I hate to ask this as it's a rather personal question, but I'd like to ask it anonymously, so here I am.

When I'm at the gym a very friendly young man takes time out of his workout to coach me. He spends a lot of time showing me technique, spotting me, encouraging me etc...

This has happened for about two or three days now, and I really appreciate his support and knowledge.

Is it conceited to assume that he may be romantically interested in me? I live with my boyfriend and don't want to mislead him, but I don't know when, if or how to bring this up without sounding presumptuous.

I'd like to have him as a workout buddy, but I don't want him to assume anything more. On the other hand, can I just come out and tell him I have a boyfriend without being offensive. Do you think he'd then lose interest in helping me?

Any input would be appreciated. I honestly don't know how to handle this. Thanks guys.

well i don't think you're gonna get the "all knowing man answer" here as everyone is different. Take this from a psychologist! :-P

But, personally, when i'm in my PE classes, i take every chance i have to do what that guy does! And well, i do have 'romantic intentions' lol. But still, even one chick i did that with, talked to her in class, even met up with her outside of class and she was pretty kewl and all. I thought she was hot as hell (a lil bit of a stoner though), and she had a boyfriend. Didn't stop me from helping her out in the gym though. I also didn't ask her directly, i caught that she had a boyfriend through talking to her and i'll respect that (of course i was still interested!). I'd say the only difference i had after that was i wasn't going to put any effort into "hitting" on her, and when i helped people, i'm usually focused on 'em so i woudln't focus on her much, but if she needed help or i just wanted to BS with her and help her out, i would.

I think if you find it a problem then you should tell him you have a boyfriend. Of course, you could just continue being friends with him if that's what it is and if he asks you out for a drink or something, just tell him you have a boyfriend. The only thing i'd make notice of is don't use him like going out of your way to say "help me, spot me" etc. If he goes out of his way, it's his loss if he thinks he can get somewhere with it. If you think he's "putting on the moves" let him know you're in a relationship. How he deals with you after that you can't change.

Hope that helps.

May I suggest somehow slipping the word boyfriend in your conversation. I have no idea what u 2 talk about, but u can somehow mention it very "casual" - u got to be cool about it & be on the sly side without him feeling hurt.
How was your weekend, or how is school, etc., etc.
I am sure he will get the hint & probably still be your friend.
No big deal - he's probably just probably trying to check out his "potential". Be cool & don't make such a big deal out of the word "boyfriend."
LOL

lol yeah, that's exactly how i found out. I was eating lunch and i saw my friend amanda from class sitting all alone so i thought what the hell, might as well get social. So i was talking to her and she said she was gonna go do something this weekend with her boyfriend. So that's when i caught it and in my mind i said "damn!" and well "lucky *******!" heheh

Thanks for your responses guys, they were very helpful.

I never ask for his help, I already feel a bit guilty for all the great advice and help he offers....

I'm gonna casually mention my boyfriend when a good opportunity arises.

Thanks again.