Hey,
I'm 3 weeks clean from Vicoden and feeling GOOD! Well, Monday morning I wake up with dibilitating cramps and severe bleeding! I went to my gyn. and they've discovered cysts on my ovaries and also did a cervical biopsy which has not come back yet. They also did an ultrasound and that was o.k.. The Doctor gave me a script for Vicprofen-to which I said "NO THANK YOU"! I acually had to tell her that i've had issues w/vic because she was insisting on my taking it! I'm very proud of myself but also in much pain-in addition to my ruptured discs in my neck. I'm assumung that I just need to deal with all this:mad: If I didn't have this addiction problem I would be able to control my pain like a normal person! I'm also thinking that if I didn't have abuse issues in the past I certainly would have them now! I don't know what they do where you guys come from but here in Southwestern Connecticut they dole these things out like candy! It seems like every time I visit the doctor there handing me a script for a pain killer.
How am I gonna do this!! I don't want to be an addict but these pain issues are SO OVERWHELMING! I have just turned 40 in Nov. and it's been one thing after another. I need to be able to run a business,take care of 2 very busy children and just deal with life in general! What I'm trying to say is I don't think I can hold on for much longer! HELP!!
Dee

Hey there. If you are experiencing a lot of pain then you might want to consider something to help with this. Please read aug's posts. Her husband was in charge of her meds and used tylenol 3's instead of vicodin or percocet. Might be something to think about.

Thank you! I'm very deserate! I guess thats why we tell our spouse about the abuse-for situations like this1 I can really say all I need to have a dreaded Dr. appt.-will post later!
Thanks!

Hi Dee

Geeze, when it rains it certainly does pour sometimes! I am sorry about all the pain you are enduring. I had a cystic ovary removed during my second pregnancy many years ago. And the pain before it was removed remains very vivid in my head! I can not remember what I was given for pain after the surgery, but as I was pregnant, I have to assume it was nothing super strong.

And you have the pain from your neck going on which I understand can really be debilitating. These things are total bummers for sure.

I am so proud of you for being upfront with your doctor about having issues with narcotics! I can't suggest how to handle it the pain or even suggest what type of medication might be necessary. I have never yet had to face these situations since coming off the oxycodone. I would follow your lead and just be totally upfront with all the doctors involved and using their thoughts and my own gut instincts.

You are really inspirational in the time you have been here. It is a pleasure to know you.

reach

Thanks,Reach-you know that your an inspiration to us all:)
I can't even belive that 4 weeks ago I would have jumped for joy at being offered a script for vic 7.5's-those are big time -even for me! Although I usually take 3 of the 5's at a time anyhow! Or at least I used to!
I CAN tell my hubby to dole them out for me! That's a great idea-but I'm not there yet. There talking about a D and C procedure. May NEED to take something in that case. But we'll just take it minute by minute. I've really learned how to take "one day at a time". I guess theres a lesoon to be learned from everything. I also belive there's a reason for everything. If i come out of this whole living hell alive and well then I guess it's "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". Boy,I'm chock full of wisdom today!:angel: But I'm getting my sense of humor back so thats a plus!
My hubby is aware that I LOVE my vic's as I've made no secret of that! He's asked me on numerous occasions if i'm following the Doctors instructions. I don't really think he would be shocked to know that i was abusing them. I also have a very close neighbor/friend who I used to go to for a "refill" in my real bad days. She had a pharmacy in her medicine cabinet-until she finally cut me off- cause she knew I had a problem. I can ask her to dole them out for me and she would be more than willing to help-and I would have to walk down to her house in the artic weather to get them. Hardley seems worth it at this point.
To all of you out there on just starting to come off these pills-DON'T EVER THINK PEOPLE DON'T KNOW! You'd be very suprised to learn that they probably DO KNOW and just haven't said anything yet.;) I've had many friends ask me "is everything ok?"
But,then again I've never made a secret of my love affair with narcotics!
(((HUGS TO ALL MY FELLOW POSTERS)))
Dee

Dee:

I just found your post searching "Connecticut", I think we are both in a "similar boat". . I've been on these rotten, "double edged sword" pills for so long now that my tolerance is through the roof! It takes more and more and they do less and less. Soooo unfair. I know it's been a while since you've posted. I hope you see this and we can "chat" back and forth. . as far as I've seen, there are not alot of "Connecticut-ites" on these boards, I am curious, do you like your PM? Can you share where you go? I'm thinking about switching. . I LOVE my Doc, it's the nursing staff that get on my last nerve.

Hope to hear back. . hope you are well,

Thanks,
Barb

Hey Barb:wave:
That post was awhile ago and much has happened since then! I'm sure you can guess why I haven't posted recently! The blasted addiction is back. I do have true pain issues but I cannot do any narcotics-I immediatly start abusing them! I'm on day 2 of w/d's and going thru hell.
I have an appointment with a sub doc at 1:00 today. Lets hope this can be the answer!
Lots of Connecticut people here? Geez, no big suprise there-where I'm from (southern fairfield county) is very high stress!
Are you trying to come off opiates?
Please post!
Dee

Dee, I read your post and was curious how your sub appt went today? Just thinking about you! Hope all is well. Please post and let us know how you're doing!

Dee...not sure what happened after the cyst...did they remove it yet? I guess you had to take the vics for that? Don't beat yourself up over it. I had dental surgery and was terrified they'd offer me vics and I wouldn't be able to pass them up. But, I took advil and tylenol 3s which really helped take the edge off...not at all like the vics would have done, but it also made me sleepy, which was good because it helped my body heal quicker. I didn't get "high" and when the pain was over, I was fine. No wds no mental obsessions...I was ok. I'm glad I faced this early because now I know that I can "get through" real pain issues as long as I remain vigilant that i am taking it for the pain episode...not for my "fix". I'm not "cured"...never will be I don't think...honestly, if I had the vics today, I'd take them until they were gone. Period. So, I avoid the entire possibility as much as I can and know that drs will still provide pain relief when needed, but with a lessor addictive quality I guess.

Good luck and know you can get thru this...just also know that for legit issues, you may need to take something to get you through it...just do so responsibly, with help of spouse or friend. And, when it's over, flush the rest so the temptation won't dwell in your home!!

Hang in there.

augirl,
No...they didn't have to remove it-it popped:mad: Ouch! I did take the vic's then got MORE vic's well...you know the rest!
I started sub yesterday and I really think this will be the way out of this mess-once and for all!
Sub appt went very well-LOVED the doctor-he's not just handing out the pills -he spent 45 min talking to me about how I can get myself off ALL pills and stay off. He was also very supportive of helping me find a good therapist. I feel normal on the sub -no w/d's and no high. I'm a bit nauseous but thats normal.
Thanks for posting and caring guys! Oh Barb...I no longer do pm..but had a great doc in Fairfield. Not sure what part of Ct your from.
Dee

Hi Dee:

I'm so sorry, it's been SO bad for me, I forgot to check back on this post. I just went through a "living hell" trying to get off Morphine, which they gave me post Spinal Cord Stim surgery. Well, let's just say, Morphine was literally the FIRST med that EVER relieved my pain and I was on quite a bit of Percs (80 mgs/day) and dilaudid (8 mgs/day), my PM new that I was still in a lot of pain and just kept repeating "tolerance" blah blah.

So, when they told me they needed to titrate me down off of the Morphine and RETURN 18 of them. . I tried . . I don't know WHO could of laid in bed (I'm bedridden due to severe low back pain and Sural Nerve Entrapment in my ankle!). . next to 18 pills KNOWING they actually RELIEVE the pain! Well, I certainly couldn't! I finished the 18 pills and then my cousin (who goes to a different PM and who gets a long acting morphine plus a short acting for breakthrough . .. and is NOWHERE near as badly in pain as me) kept saying you're "Undermedicated". . and gave me a month's worth of his short acting 10mg/morphine. . and I finished them. . with NO titration involved. So when I was out. . I started withdrawing BAD, even though I was still on the Perc. So, I did what I THOUGHT was the HONEST and RIGHT thing to do. . I was honest w/my PM doc.. the nurse, anyway, I can't ever ACTUALLY speak to him unless it's at an appointment (usually 6 weeks apart!) The nurse seemed like it was not "surprising" not a "big deal" actually called it a 'DRUG HOLIAY'. . talked me into a Detox progam and then told me after that my tolerance would be better and we could start over.. needless to say that was obviously A CROCK to get me to go in patient because in the 2 weeks since I've been home it's as if I have a GIANT BLACK X on my file now. I've been taken off ALL my meds and am on only 40mg Methadone a day. . nothing for breakthrough . I'm miserable, in TREMENDOUS pain and my depression has hit it's all time worst! I spoke to 2 workers in the 'program' and both told me I am not "addicted". . I ABUSED my medication. TRUST me. . I have NO addictions nor have I EVER had problems w/pain meds until the Morphine. . WHAT THE HECK am I going to do now? I need something ELSE, this Methadone gives me SEVERE, DAILY headaches, it has worsened my already "treatment resistant depression" AND it's not covering my pain!

Does anyone know if I can EVEN SWITCH PM docs at this point? Dee: I'm in New Haven County so if your PM in Fairfield was awesome, could I get the name or number? I need to explain to someone who will really listen, what I went through and how I NOW KNOW if 2 pills work then 3 DOES NOT work better! NEVER AGAIN will I put myself through that hell again. I KNOW this. . can this doc really hold this "against" me, being honest, forever? and no longer medicate me properly?

I'm soooooo lost.

I hope you are well and I will anxiously await yours or anyone else's reply.

Take good care, Dee

Barb