I've been thinking alot lately ever since I started reading posts on this board, and the more I think the more aggravated I get. Day after day I sign on here, and read posts where people are asking the best ways to approah and talk to there pain management Dr. This includes me, I've asked plenty of times too. For these Dr's, to have us so scared, thats right scared, to say something wrong, is just un-humane as far as I'm concerned. I mean, before I was in soo much pain, and living through this hell I'm now living in, I can tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart, I would never ever even think of tolerating the way I'm treated by Dr's, and even pharmacists. But they back us into a corner, and make us sooo desperate that we practiaclly in have to beg for medications that will give us any relief. I understand about the DEA, and I understand about all the abusers and seekers out there. Well, I would rather 5 seekers get what they are looking for, just so 1 person who is really in need of it to get it, than 5 seekers get turned down, and 1 person who really needs it get turned down. Although I do feel that way, I do not beleive that there are close to as many seekers that Dr's see everyday, as there are true patients who are honest and in pain, and in need of there help. Before I had the problems I'm dealing with, I would've never been able to picture being in such a posistion. I literally break down crying every time Im in front of my Dr, and it does me no good. I still go home, and think I'd rather be dead, except it would ruin my familys lives so I have to deal with it. And I'll tell you something else, considering I"m sure there are alot more legit patients that go through the Dr's office everyday compared to drug seekers, there is absoloutly no reason for Dr's to treat us like we are drug seekrs. We all deserve the benefit of the doubt. We feel bad enough. Sometimes they have me feeling like I'm doin something wrong for asking for more medication, when I'm in a world of pain and discomfort. I'm 23 with a beautiful girlfriend, and have to tell her no every time she wants to have sex because it flares me up soo much, but yet, I'm on too much medications, I should feel fine according to the Doc, who went to school all of those years. Also, I'm beginning to really really hate the word drug seeker, beacuse you know what, its awfully hard to go into the Dr's and not sound like I'm looking for drugs, when thats exactly what I'm looking for. Dont mis understand me, I'm looking for any other way they can think that can help me get relief. but so far they have had no luck. And for anybody who says "you have to try A B and C first," I have! I currently go to Physical Therapy twice a week, starting 3 times next week for a month or so to see if that helps more. No Dr ever reccomended me there, I myself asked the Dr to send me because I read on the internet and in books it would be helpful. I practice relaxation techniques and have tapes I bought from the Dr who wrote the book, once again I found out about this helping on my own. Ive done bio feedback and everything, so I dont see what else is left. So in the meantime, weather I sound like a drug seeker or not, alls I want is some relief. I'm sorry for this post, Im just tired of feeling bad about asking for relief. I'm tired of feeling nervous, and hoping my PM Dr doesn't get upset at me for going to the ER (maybe I should've dealt with the pain to save him the aggravation, NOT). Sorry again for this long post, I just had to vent. Im actually still feeling a little better from my ER visit before, and started this post last night so I figured I'd finsih it.

Thanks

Bryan

ps: I think this post is ok, but if its inappropiate I am really sorry I dont mean to break any rules, I really appreciate what it is you mods do on here!