tsohl
03-11-2007, 11:30 PM
Hello Friends :wave:
We did it again. We outgrew our thread. So please gather here and we'll help each other make sense of this unwelcome visitor that has invaded our children's lives.
We did it again. We outgrew our thread. So please gather here and we'll help each other make sense of this unwelcome visitor that has invaded our children's lives.
Sponsor
goody2shuz
03-11-2007, 11:49 PM
Hehehehehehe.....glad to pass on the torch!!!:)
Is there any light up there, Tsohl??? My biggest problem right now is differentiating the teen behavior from BP behavior. Those are the times that I wonder if Erin really has BP....I still have my doubts sometimes. Perhaps it is denial????
It's not easy.....I guess what has me doubting is when we got together with other parents in the area. They were talking about some of the stuff that their kids were doing and it made me think....I guess moreso about Kait than Erin. The mom told me how she was really worried about her son....that he had started coming home from school at 3pm totally exhausted and slept from that time through the night. She thought for sure it was drugs. Turns out that she found out that he was getting on his bike and going to his girlfriend's house to have sex each night at 3am each morning.:eek: This so happens to be Erin's best girlfriend and her boyfriend was the one that she was mad at for a while and made up with....turns out that another girl was telling them both things each had said about the other which was not true. And how her daughter who is a straight A student and never had problems was going out with Victor's brother and she was worried like crazy about that situation. She went on to tell me how her daughter had stayed behind to support her best friend through her mother being in the hospital with cancer while they went on a family camping trip. The daughter ended up having a party in their home while they were away.
Anyway....it made me think about how things have changed and perhaps what I was sensing as mania was actually the typical teenage behavior of the times???:confused:
With Erin....the suicide attempts and depression were real concerns and don't have me questioning it as much. I read alot of similarities here but without psychosis and full rages it is really diffficult to feel 100% sure.
Any words of advice??
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Is there any light up there, Tsohl??? My biggest problem right now is differentiating the teen behavior from BP behavior. Those are the times that I wonder if Erin really has BP....I still have my doubts sometimes. Perhaps it is denial????
It's not easy.....I guess what has me doubting is when we got together with other parents in the area. They were talking about some of the stuff that their kids were doing and it made me think....I guess moreso about Kait than Erin. The mom told me how she was really worried about her son....that he had started coming home from school at 3pm totally exhausted and slept from that time through the night. She thought for sure it was drugs. Turns out that she found out that he was getting on his bike and going to his girlfriend's house to have sex each night at 3am each morning.:eek: This so happens to be Erin's best girlfriend and her boyfriend was the one that she was mad at for a while and made up with....turns out that another girl was telling them both things each had said about the other which was not true. And how her daughter who is a straight A student and never had problems was going out with Victor's brother and she was worried like crazy about that situation. She went on to tell me how her daughter had stayed behind to support her best friend through her mother being in the hospital with cancer while they went on a family camping trip. The daughter ended up having a party in their home while they were away.
Anyway....it made me think about how things have changed and perhaps what I was sensing as mania was actually the typical teenage behavior of the times???:confused:
With Erin....the suicide attempts and depression were real concerns and don't have me questioning it as much. I read alot of similarities here but without psychosis and full rages it is really diffficult to feel 100% sure.
Any words of advice??
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
langlee
03-11-2007, 11:59 PM
Hi All,
Jules - that's great news about your son! It sounds like all of the intensive help is starting to break through! I wouldn't worry about the bipolar diagnosis until they get further along. It really doesn't matter what the name is as long as he gets help. I also think that everyone experiences BP differently. Zac does not usually have the bouts of depression (although he was more depressed early on), but has exprerienced the extreme irritability and frustration. When he was first diagnosed, it was iffy - maybe BP, maybe not, but as the year went on and all of the behaviors with it, the pdoc became more convinced, as did we. His moods were unstable and that was manifested in a myriad of different ways. I am hoping and praying that this is the beginning of better news for your son and you!
Goody - Zac also worries about OCD. He has told more than one therapist that he has "magical thinking" and is obsessive about some things. You'll see what the pdoc says. I'm glad to hear that Erin has been in a better mood and can't wait to hear what she finally decides about Idol! I can just picture the two of you singing at the top of your lungs! I'm also anxious to hear what the pdoc says at tomorrow's visit.
Tshol- I get optical migraines, too, and they can be scary. The first time I got one I thought I was having a stroke! Hope you are feeling better! I also can't wait to pick your brain about small liberal arts colleges!
Zac had a good weekend. He broke into Semi-finals, but not Finals and was somewhat disappointed. I reminded him that most of these kids have been going to tournaments the whole year and he really missed most of September through early February, so he should be proud of his accomplishment. He was with the best kids in the state and broke into Semis with a piece he has only been practicing for one week! He goes to Districts in 2 weeks.
Tomorrow he starts back to school with 4 classes. He's nervous, but looking forward to it. I'll keep you all posted on his progress.
The Scrabble games continue and I think they are helping keep all of us sane. We haven't had an activity that all three of us could share happily for a long time and we are enjoying the comraderie and the competition. Zac is getting great at it! Has at least one 7 letter word almost every game!
I am so thankful for the "normalcy" we are living with right now. Zac is in his activities, busy, getting a decent night's sleep more often, and in good humor. It is such a gift. It is amazing how the things that other parents with teenagers take for granted is something we all long for. I will always have my antenna up with him, but I am delighted to get some respite from the constant stress and worry. I am praying and hoping and wishing it lasts because I am so happy to see him happy again. The biggest difference I see is that he seems more controlled, less intense and hyper and "on" than before, and he can sit still for longer periods of time. I don't think the Concerta could have worked so well if his BP meds weren't working, but the combination of the three meds seem to really be helping.
Well, it's getting late, but I couldn't let the weekend go by without reaching out to all of you. Good night, my friends, and sweet dreams.
Love,
Hope
Jules - that's great news about your son! It sounds like all of the intensive help is starting to break through! I wouldn't worry about the bipolar diagnosis until they get further along. It really doesn't matter what the name is as long as he gets help. I also think that everyone experiences BP differently. Zac does not usually have the bouts of depression (although he was more depressed early on), but has exprerienced the extreme irritability and frustration. When he was first diagnosed, it was iffy - maybe BP, maybe not, but as the year went on and all of the behaviors with it, the pdoc became more convinced, as did we. His moods were unstable and that was manifested in a myriad of different ways. I am hoping and praying that this is the beginning of better news for your son and you!
Goody - Zac also worries about OCD. He has told more than one therapist that he has "magical thinking" and is obsessive about some things. You'll see what the pdoc says. I'm glad to hear that Erin has been in a better mood and can't wait to hear what she finally decides about Idol! I can just picture the two of you singing at the top of your lungs! I'm also anxious to hear what the pdoc says at tomorrow's visit.
Tshol- I get optical migraines, too, and they can be scary. The first time I got one I thought I was having a stroke! Hope you are feeling better! I also can't wait to pick your brain about small liberal arts colleges!
Zac had a good weekend. He broke into Semi-finals, but not Finals and was somewhat disappointed. I reminded him that most of these kids have been going to tournaments the whole year and he really missed most of September through early February, so he should be proud of his accomplishment. He was with the best kids in the state and broke into Semis with a piece he has only been practicing for one week! He goes to Districts in 2 weeks.
Tomorrow he starts back to school with 4 classes. He's nervous, but looking forward to it. I'll keep you all posted on his progress.
The Scrabble games continue and I think they are helping keep all of us sane. We haven't had an activity that all three of us could share happily for a long time and we are enjoying the comraderie and the competition. Zac is getting great at it! Has at least one 7 letter word almost every game!
I am so thankful for the "normalcy" we are living with right now. Zac is in his activities, busy, getting a decent night's sleep more often, and in good humor. It is such a gift. It is amazing how the things that other parents with teenagers take for granted is something we all long for. I will always have my antenna up with him, but I am delighted to get some respite from the constant stress and worry. I am praying and hoping and wishing it lasts because I am so happy to see him happy again. The biggest difference I see is that he seems more controlled, less intense and hyper and "on" than before, and he can sit still for longer periods of time. I don't think the Concerta could have worked so well if his BP meds weren't working, but the combination of the three meds seem to really be helping.
Well, it's getting late, but I couldn't let the weekend go by without reaching out to all of you. Good night, my friends, and sweet dreams.
Love,
Hope
langlee
03-12-2007, 12:07 AM
Hi Goody,
Since I haven't shut down yet, I wanted to respond to your thoughts. My sense is that you have better intuition than almost anyone I know and I don't think it's typical teenage behavior. Although there are elements of typical teenage behavior and some kids are more out of control than others, I think the family history, combined with the sustained difficult behavior, warrants your concern.
With Erin I think it's clearer because of the suicide attempts and the other behaviors, but when you listed everything that had gone on with Kait since she was 14, it certainly seems worth the investigation, especially since she herself is sensing something.
I think all of us sometimes wonder if BP is the right diagnosis, (or any of the other acronyms we learn along the way - ADHD, OCD, PSTD, etc.), but as we start to look at the historical data of our children and the extreme behaviors, it starts to paint a picture that something greater than teenage hormones is at work. With Zac, I didn't know what to deal with first, but I realized that there was simply too much going on at once to consider it "normal".
I don't know if this helps or not, but I wanted to respond because I know how crazy we can all makes ourselves with the "What if I'm wrong" thoughts!
Love Always,
Hope
Since I haven't shut down yet, I wanted to respond to your thoughts. My sense is that you have better intuition than almost anyone I know and I don't think it's typical teenage behavior. Although there are elements of typical teenage behavior and some kids are more out of control than others, I think the family history, combined with the sustained difficult behavior, warrants your concern.
With Erin I think it's clearer because of the suicide attempts and the other behaviors, but when you listed everything that had gone on with Kait since she was 14, it certainly seems worth the investigation, especially since she herself is sensing something.
I think all of us sometimes wonder if BP is the right diagnosis, (or any of the other acronyms we learn along the way - ADHD, OCD, PSTD, etc.), but as we start to look at the historical data of our children and the extreme behaviors, it starts to paint a picture that something greater than teenage hormones is at work. With Zac, I didn't know what to deal with first, but I realized that there was simply too much going on at once to consider it "normal".
I don't know if this helps or not, but I wanted to respond because I know how crazy we can all makes ourselves with the "What if I'm wrong" thoughts!
Love Always,
Hope
jules3
03-12-2007, 09:02 AM
Thanks hope, i am trying not to focus on the bp, i know he has things going on in his head. you can hear on the phone how his moods are changing with such extreme. Im sure its a combination of his missing us, the intenese therapy, the alone time with himself, the meetings where he is listening to lots of people and their life stories. I have to just keep saying that this is a good thing.. He is a good hearted boy, but for the past almost a year we didnt know who he was anymore. really, didnt know who he was..i know that sounds unbelievable, but its true. I keep saying to myself that he is in rehab, not a prison. For sure, if he kept up with using drugs he would have wound up dead or in prison..and that would have broken his soul. Im going to see if maybe i can talk to his pdoc this week. again with him being 20 yrs old, its difficult. He just sounded so depressed. Im worried.
tsohl
03-12-2007, 09:49 AM
Good morning Jules ~
Is your son on any meds at the moment? The place sounds fairly open to communicating with you. I don't think it would hurt to put in a call. The worst thing that can happen is that someone will tell you they can't talk to you :( . Jules, of course he is going to sound sad. Think what he's going through....but you just have to have faith that the staff has been through this same type of thing with hundreds of others. Do you know what the ages are of the other people? Are there any others near his age?
Hang in there, Jules. Be brave :angel: .
:wave: Tsohl
Is your son on any meds at the moment? The place sounds fairly open to communicating with you. I don't think it would hurt to put in a call. The worst thing that can happen is that someone will tell you they can't talk to you :( . Jules, of course he is going to sound sad. Think what he's going through....but you just have to have faith that the staff has been through this same type of thing with hundreds of others. Do you know what the ages are of the other people? Are there any others near his age?
Hang in there, Jules. Be brave :angel: .
:wave: Tsohl
jules3
03-12-2007, 11:44 AM
I am waiting from a call back from his patient advocate. the people in there are all ages ..his roommate is 26 . many are older..talk more later.
tsohl
03-12-2007, 11:57 AM
Hello all,
Goody, what time is your appointment today? I know you will have lots to discuss. I will be interested to hear what adjustments he makes for Erin, if any. Is this the pdoc that you've been waiting and waiting to get in to see?
I know you know this, Goody, but sometimes it helps to hear things from others. I'm thinking about Kait and whether she might be bipolar....Just remember that BP is a spectrum of symptoms and very few cases look the same. I think a lot of people posting on this board have fairly extreme cases. My son and his two friends that are also bipolar, do not and never have exhibited the kinds of behavior that I hear about on this board. As a matter of fact, I had NO idea anything was wrong with our son...he was so good at covering his emotions from us. He never got into trouble. He was never rude to us or fought with us, etc. He really was the kind of child everyone would love to have...caused us no problems or concerns...
Also, since it has the genetic component to it, I think it is safe to assume that Kait has the potential lying in wait in her genes and neurotransmitters, etc...and if and when the perfect combination of environmental, biological and emotional factors come together, she would be ripe for developing BP. Maybe she'll go in for an evaluation, everything will check out and then you and she will be relieved!
On another note, what did you think about our friend's last post? Did it strike you a bit like a farewell? You know I think I got that migraine because I literally spent the entire day on Saturday at the computer, staring at the screen...worrying about and trying to find resources for people I don't even know. I think I sometimes get too wrapped up in my new cyberfriends' problems -- not you and the other moms, but some of the other friends.
And, Hope, I was hoping you'd post so we'd know how the meet went for Zac. I hope he has a good day at school. I imagine you are on pins and needles until he comes home this afternoon, worrying how the day is going for him. I hope he won't have to spend too much time explaining where he's been for the last few months. How would he deal with that situation?
all for now....
:wave: Tsohl
Goody, what time is your appointment today? I know you will have lots to discuss. I will be interested to hear what adjustments he makes for Erin, if any. Is this the pdoc that you've been waiting and waiting to get in to see?
I know you know this, Goody, but sometimes it helps to hear things from others. I'm thinking about Kait and whether she might be bipolar....Just remember that BP is a spectrum of symptoms and very few cases look the same. I think a lot of people posting on this board have fairly extreme cases. My son and his two friends that are also bipolar, do not and never have exhibited the kinds of behavior that I hear about on this board. As a matter of fact, I had NO idea anything was wrong with our son...he was so good at covering his emotions from us. He never got into trouble. He was never rude to us or fought with us, etc. He really was the kind of child everyone would love to have...caused us no problems or concerns...
Also, since it has the genetic component to it, I think it is safe to assume that Kait has the potential lying in wait in her genes and neurotransmitters, etc...and if and when the perfect combination of environmental, biological and emotional factors come together, she would be ripe for developing BP. Maybe she'll go in for an evaluation, everything will check out and then you and she will be relieved!
On another note, what did you think about our friend's last post? Did it strike you a bit like a farewell? You know I think I got that migraine because I literally spent the entire day on Saturday at the computer, staring at the screen...worrying about and trying to find resources for people I don't even know. I think I sometimes get too wrapped up in my new cyberfriends' problems -- not you and the other moms, but some of the other friends.
And, Hope, I was hoping you'd post so we'd know how the meet went for Zac. I hope he has a good day at school. I imagine you are on pins and needles until he comes home this afternoon, worrying how the day is going for him. I hope he won't have to spend too much time explaining where he's been for the last few months. How would he deal with that situation?
all for now....
:wave: Tsohl
langlee
03-12-2007, 12:00 PM
Dear Jules,
You have to keep telling yourself that this is all a process in his healing and it's going to be painful for him, but it's what he needs to do. Just like with a physical illness, the treatment sometimes seems as bad as the disease, but the goal is better health and a longer, more enjoyable life.
Keep us posted!
Love,
Hope
You have to keep telling yourself that this is all a process in his healing and it's going to be painful for him, but it's what he needs to do. Just like with a physical illness, the treatment sometimes seems as bad as the disease, but the goal is better health and a longer, more enjoyable life.
Keep us posted!
Love,
Hope
goody2shuz
03-12-2007, 01:29 PM
Jules ~ I am glad that you will be able to talk to somebody today. Yes, it is heartbreaking every moment that they are away, but when you finally hear the healing in his voice, you will both see how this part of the process was all worth it. Remember...it always gets worse before it gets better. The first few weeks perhaps month was the most difficult for us and for Erin. After that, the progress was measurable and we finally were able to see that it was all worth it. I hope that the phone call will have something positive to show you. And remember, our kids know how to pull at our heartstrings....he doesn't want to be there and would like to run away...but you are going to be his strength to have him hang in there so that he can give it a fighting chance!!
Hope & Tsohl ~ Thanks for the words of encouragement. Erin's appointment is at 4pm. I am going in with my concerns and I know that Erin is concerned as well. She usually goes in first and then I join her and the pdoc comes up with a plan.
Tsohl....the pdoc who were are waiting for was in a bad car accident and we are seeing the pdoc who Erin saw since her first hospitalization. WE weren't too happy about him not recognizing the induced mania that came from the antidepressants despite my concerns even before putting her on them without a mood stabilizer in place. And STILL even when I called him with Erin's worstening condition, he didn't home in to the cause of it and only increased the AD's. However, since her discharge, I think that he has a newfound respect for me and has redeemed himself in my eyes by how he has handled things since Erin's discharge and diagnosis. I think that without my telling him so, he saw how he had screwed up and in a humble way congratulated Erin for all that she had done and sacrificed to get herself diagnosed and better. Before she was sent to the phosp by the courts in our last visit to him he was suggesting a Residential Treatment Facility feeling that Erin's problems were more behavioral than psychiatric....and my intuition had me fight to find the help for her other than removing her from the home for a year or two. I only thought that would make things even worse. IT was a blessing to have the judge mandate a thorough evaluation and that is what truly saved us.
Anyway...this pdoc has done what my instincts tell me as well as what a trusting pdoc with the state told me they would do if Erin were still in their care. So I am now confident with this pdoc and I think that I have more than earned his respect in working jointly with him in stabilizing Erin. I intend to also have him evaluate Kait because he knows our family history more than any other pdoc and I could always use the other pdoc we are waiting for as a second opinion for Kait.
I know, Tsohl what you are saying in regard to this board and the extreme cases....I am going to trust the pdoc in diagnosing Kait with my input as much as possible. I hope that he will allow me to have some say in things and feel that in the end Kait will give me permission to. I think that if I explain to him how I tried my darndest to get her in before she started college so that I could have some input he will allow me as much input as possible and besides he owes me...right;) ???
Hope....thanks for being so supportive, I know that we all have our doubts but the similarities are so strong we all can't be wrong...right??? And I am thinking about you and hoping that Zac's first day back with 4 courses turns out to be a positive one. I am sure that there will be some anxiety involved which is big with our kids so give it the week....he has some adaptations to make. Let us know how it goes.
Well I have lots to prepare for Erin's pdoc visit. I will let you know what happens when we return. Thanks, everyone, for your neverending support and prayers. I don't know how I would get through all of this without my friends here.
Oh and Tsohl....I am as concerned as you but our friend has to want to help herself too. And I re-read her last post and after doing so am quite concerned. Hopefully there will be an update.
Well, ta ta for now, ladies ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Hope & Tsohl ~ Thanks for the words of encouragement. Erin's appointment is at 4pm. I am going in with my concerns and I know that Erin is concerned as well. She usually goes in first and then I join her and the pdoc comes up with a plan.
Tsohl....the pdoc who were are waiting for was in a bad car accident and we are seeing the pdoc who Erin saw since her first hospitalization. WE weren't too happy about him not recognizing the induced mania that came from the antidepressants despite my concerns even before putting her on them without a mood stabilizer in place. And STILL even when I called him with Erin's worstening condition, he didn't home in to the cause of it and only increased the AD's. However, since her discharge, I think that he has a newfound respect for me and has redeemed himself in my eyes by how he has handled things since Erin's discharge and diagnosis. I think that without my telling him so, he saw how he had screwed up and in a humble way congratulated Erin for all that she had done and sacrificed to get herself diagnosed and better. Before she was sent to the phosp by the courts in our last visit to him he was suggesting a Residential Treatment Facility feeling that Erin's problems were more behavioral than psychiatric....and my intuition had me fight to find the help for her other than removing her from the home for a year or two. I only thought that would make things even worse. IT was a blessing to have the judge mandate a thorough evaluation and that is what truly saved us.
Anyway...this pdoc has done what my instincts tell me as well as what a trusting pdoc with the state told me they would do if Erin were still in their care. So I am now confident with this pdoc and I think that I have more than earned his respect in working jointly with him in stabilizing Erin. I intend to also have him evaluate Kait because he knows our family history more than any other pdoc and I could always use the other pdoc we are waiting for as a second opinion for Kait.
I know, Tsohl what you are saying in regard to this board and the extreme cases....I am going to trust the pdoc in diagnosing Kait with my input as much as possible. I hope that he will allow me to have some say in things and feel that in the end Kait will give me permission to. I think that if I explain to him how I tried my darndest to get her in before she started college so that I could have some input he will allow me as much input as possible and besides he owes me...right;) ???
Hope....thanks for being so supportive, I know that we all have our doubts but the similarities are so strong we all can't be wrong...right??? And I am thinking about you and hoping that Zac's first day back with 4 courses turns out to be a positive one. I am sure that there will be some anxiety involved which is big with our kids so give it the week....he has some adaptations to make. Let us know how it goes.
Well I have lots to prepare for Erin's pdoc visit. I will let you know what happens when we return. Thanks, everyone, for your neverending support and prayers. I don't know how I would get through all of this without my friends here.
Oh and Tsohl....I am as concerned as you but our friend has to want to help herself too. And I re-read her last post and after doing so am quite concerned. Hopefully there will be an update.
Well, ta ta for now, ladies ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
langlee
03-12-2007, 01:51 PM
I had one of those experiences where I wrote a long post and it got lost in cyberspace. I hate that!!!
I am very concerned about Zac today. He seemed very tense and told my husband he is thinking about dropping out of Districts, that he doesn't need the pressure right now. I can tell that he is also starting to stress out about the work. He seemed like he was holding it together, but I do worry that he will be overwhelmed. I look at our wonderful friend, Paige, and see how challenging it can be to juggle so many plates in the air.
This, of course, is the way it goes with Zac. Last week the tdoc is telling us that he doesn't need too much therapy and today he could use a crash course. One of the challenges he is going to have to learn to deal with is how to handle stress.
The good news, to answer Tshol's question, is that he has already been back to the high school and has been welcomed with open arms by his friends. Other than a "where the hell have you been, Zac?", no one seems to be focusing on the fact that he has been out so long, just that they are glad to see him.
It struck me today that we have to always be on guard. Zac has seemed so much like his old self that everyone (including us) is forgetting that we can't heap too much on him. His Forensics coach asked him to compete in another area as well as his Dramatic Interp, and he said he would. We were delighted that his coach thought he could count on Zac, but we forgot that this is adding another layer of stress. Zac won't compete if he doesn't think he can do a good job and I can tell that he is obsessing about this new piece. We should have told him to tell his coach that he couldn't do it, but he wants to be thought of as someone who can be depended on. Now I'm worrying about finding razor blades in his room. UGH! This never stops!
And that's how I think we know that our children truly are bipolar. Rebellious teens act out, but they are not thrown off by everyday life. Our children are. Going back to school, stressful jobs, deaths, new situations - our children internalize those stresses and it literally makes them sick.
So, as my son's level of stress goes up, so does mine. I can feel my heart racing as I think about how he will handle all of this. Boy, do I hate this!
Thanks for letting me vent. My last post was much calmer than this one.
Love to all of you,
Hope
I am very concerned about Zac today. He seemed very tense and told my husband he is thinking about dropping out of Districts, that he doesn't need the pressure right now. I can tell that he is also starting to stress out about the work. He seemed like he was holding it together, but I do worry that he will be overwhelmed. I look at our wonderful friend, Paige, and see how challenging it can be to juggle so many plates in the air.
This, of course, is the way it goes with Zac. Last week the tdoc is telling us that he doesn't need too much therapy and today he could use a crash course. One of the challenges he is going to have to learn to deal with is how to handle stress.
The good news, to answer Tshol's question, is that he has already been back to the high school and has been welcomed with open arms by his friends. Other than a "where the hell have you been, Zac?", no one seems to be focusing on the fact that he has been out so long, just that they are glad to see him.
It struck me today that we have to always be on guard. Zac has seemed so much like his old self that everyone (including us) is forgetting that we can't heap too much on him. His Forensics coach asked him to compete in another area as well as his Dramatic Interp, and he said he would. We were delighted that his coach thought he could count on Zac, but we forgot that this is adding another layer of stress. Zac won't compete if he doesn't think he can do a good job and I can tell that he is obsessing about this new piece. We should have told him to tell his coach that he couldn't do it, but he wants to be thought of as someone who can be depended on. Now I'm worrying about finding razor blades in his room. UGH! This never stops!
And that's how I think we know that our children truly are bipolar. Rebellious teens act out, but they are not thrown off by everyday life. Our children are. Going back to school, stressful jobs, deaths, new situations - our children internalize those stresses and it literally makes them sick.
So, as my son's level of stress goes up, so does mine. I can feel my heart racing as I think about how he will handle all of this. Boy, do I hate this!
Thanks for letting me vent. My last post was much calmer than this one.
Love to all of you,
Hope
tsohl
03-12-2007, 01:53 PM
I wonder what has become of Pippin and Erika? :confused: She won't get emails alerting her to this new thread...but I'm sure she'll find us, if she looks!!
langlee
03-12-2007, 01:58 PM
Also Denise and Brittany. You kept the name of the thread close enough that I think they will all find us! I do worry about Pippin. She was posting alot and then seemed to fall of the face of the earth. I hope she and Erika are OK. I saw that her husband posted once or twice and then stopped, too. That's the only frustrating thing about not having personal e-mails. No way to reach out to our cyberfriends!
Hope
Hope
emeraldeyes114
03-12-2007, 02:49 PM
:confused: I am new to this thread and so I will go back in a bit to read those that I missed. My son is a dx'd Bipolar who with the support of his grandparents does not take meds. He lives with them and that is a long story. As a mother I cherish him and have told him so with any way of communicating possible. He ignores it or if an ecard doesn't pick it up. Recently I buried my grandma, the trip home was a Stygian nightmare, and when I get back I see an Im from him. I was so tickled until I read it. It was nasty and it greatly confused me. I im'd him back asking what he was talking about. Then later when I had calmed down quite a bit I emailed him. Now his grandmother is involved and I am playing the part of the villain. My husband asked if it possible to doctor an email and if I thought he would. I answered yes to the first and to the second I don't know. I didn't answer his grandmother's letter or phone calls because I was so emotional and angry that I knew it would make it worse then it already was. I am still hurt and confused greatly by the whole thing. My husband believes he is manipulating boths ends like we were pawns in a sadistic chess game. I believe it is possible. How do you try when the trying backfires? How do you respond to someone who possibly doesn't have all the information or the wrong information? And to someone who thinks bipolar is like the common cold or virus. I hope that by reading the ones I missed that perhaps I will pick up a few things that right now seem cloudy or dark to me. I just don't know anymore at what path is correct or what to say without making it worse.
Emerald
Emerald
tsohl
03-12-2007, 03:21 PM
Hi Emeraldeyes,
I remember your posts from an earlier time. We just started this thread as the other one was closed yesterday...so you may have to hunt to get caught up! How old is your son?
If your son is unmedicated and living away from you, I don't see how you could possibly be able to figure out what is going on with him. It is a challenge for those of us who live with the kids!! I can't imagine trying to deal with him through a layer or two of filters.
I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions for you at the moment. If your son is unmedicated, there is no telling what he is thinking or feeling. Chances are it will not be rational -- you can pretty much count on that. If he has been dxed BP by a qualified psychiatrist, the grandparents are doing him no favors by keeping him off meds. His condition will get more severe as time goes on.
Please post again. Hopefully someone will have some suggestions for you.
:wave: Tsohl
I remember your posts from an earlier time. We just started this thread as the other one was closed yesterday...so you may have to hunt to get caught up! How old is your son?
If your son is unmedicated and living away from you, I don't see how you could possibly be able to figure out what is going on with him. It is a challenge for those of us who live with the kids!! I can't imagine trying to deal with him through a layer or two of filters.
I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions for you at the moment. If your son is unmedicated, there is no telling what he is thinking or feeling. Chances are it will not be rational -- you can pretty much count on that. If he has been dxed BP by a qualified psychiatrist, the grandparents are doing him no favors by keeping him off meds. His condition will get more severe as time goes on.
Please post again. Hopefully someone will have some suggestions for you.
:wave: Tsohl
tsohl
03-12-2007, 03:31 PM
Hi Hope,
We're back on the roller coaster -- time for another ride already?? I was so pleased that things sounded so hopeful last night...and posted to that effect this a.m. Maybe in a day or two Zac will make a quick adjustment and the stress will go away??
He has taken on too much in the Forensics competition and rather than tell the coach that, he feels he should drop out entirely. I think you need to encourage him to tell the coach he overestimated the amount of time he has to learn a new piece on such short notice, and encourage him to continue on with the one he did this past weekend. I doubt Zac wants you to call the coach to explain. Does the coach know about Zac's reason for missing school??
Zac sounds like my son. He expects a lot from himself and isn't satisfied with anything less. I was talking to mine about GREs a couple days ago. He is of the opinion that if he doesn't get a perfect score in the math parts, his future is over. How do you tell someone like that to not put so much stress on himself? :dizzy: I can say it, but he doesn't believe it.
Well, let us know how he is when he gets home today....I'll be sending positive vibes your direction.;)
:wave: Tsohl
We're back on the roller coaster -- time for another ride already?? I was so pleased that things sounded so hopeful last night...and posted to that effect this a.m. Maybe in a day or two Zac will make a quick adjustment and the stress will go away??
He has taken on too much in the Forensics competition and rather than tell the coach that, he feels he should drop out entirely. I think you need to encourage him to tell the coach he overestimated the amount of time he has to learn a new piece on such short notice, and encourage him to continue on with the one he did this past weekend. I doubt Zac wants you to call the coach to explain. Does the coach know about Zac's reason for missing school??
Zac sounds like my son. He expects a lot from himself and isn't satisfied with anything less. I was talking to mine about GREs a couple days ago. He is of the opinion that if he doesn't get a perfect score in the math parts, his future is over. How do you tell someone like that to not put so much stress on himself? :dizzy: I can say it, but he doesn't believe it.
Well, let us know how he is when he gets home today....I'll be sending positive vibes your direction.;)
:wave: Tsohl
langlee
03-12-2007, 04:16 PM
Thanks, Tsohl. Zac must have caught your postive vibes because he came home in a much better frame of mind. He has figured out what to do for HI (Humerous Interpretation - his new category) and is recharged to work on both pieces.
The first day wasn't too bad. Classes were fine. He seems fine. He was disappointed that he did not get into AP Euro, but found out that all of the others had been given a preparation packet. He is thinking of appealing it, but will wait to see what others he gets into. I don't want him to take on more than he can handle. How many is that? Who knows? It really is a rollercoaster of emotions, though, isn't it?
This perfectionism in our children is enough to make US crazy, isn't it? That was the reason for my suggestion to you of pursuing the Career Counselor for your son - not to make him feel like he has to get a job, but so that he feels like it's not the end of the world if his GRE scores aren't as high as he would like.
It sounds like your son, like Zac, thinks about things as "all or nothing". They have been so used to having it all that they really have a hard time seeing the middle ground. I am constantly talking to Zac about options, about scaling down to scale back up. It's a struggle, though.
Thanks for thinking of Zac today. I appreciate it.
Always,
Hope
The first day wasn't too bad. Classes were fine. He seems fine. He was disappointed that he did not get into AP Euro, but found out that all of the others had been given a preparation packet. He is thinking of appealing it, but will wait to see what others he gets into. I don't want him to take on more than he can handle. How many is that? Who knows? It really is a rollercoaster of emotions, though, isn't it?
This perfectionism in our children is enough to make US crazy, isn't it? That was the reason for my suggestion to you of pursuing the Career Counselor for your son - not to make him feel like he has to get a job, but so that he feels like it's not the end of the world if his GRE scores aren't as high as he would like.
It sounds like your son, like Zac, thinks about things as "all or nothing". They have been so used to having it all that they really have a hard time seeing the middle ground. I am constantly talking to Zac about options, about scaling down to scale back up. It's a struggle, though.
Thanks for thinking of Zac today. I appreciate it.
Always,
Hope
jules3
03-12-2007, 04:18 PM
Oh hope, thats good news about zac..
langlee
03-12-2007, 04:19 PM
Dear Emerald,
Welcome to this board. I'm sorry you are struggling, but perhaps you could give us some more background on your son so we can help more. There is a lot of support here. We'd like to help.
Always,
Hope
Welcome to this board. I'm sorry you are struggling, but perhaps you could give us some more background on your son so we can help more. There is a lot of support here. We'd like to help.
Always,
Hope
langlee
03-12-2007, 04:21 PM
Thanks, Jules. One day at a time, right? I'm looking forward to hearing more good news from Flordia. Each day he is there is another day he conquered!
Love,
Hope
Love,
Hope
tsohl
03-12-2007, 04:25 PM
Hope,
Is the AP history for this year or is he planning for next year?
Jules ~ Did you get a chance to talk to that case worker person yet?
Is the AP history for this year or is he planning for next year?
Jules ~ Did you get a chance to talk to that case worker person yet?
langlee
03-12-2007, 05:11 PM
Dear Tsohl,
He is taking a total of 6 qualifying AP tests for next year. AP Euro would very likely be one he elected not to take if he gets into some of the others. (I know for sure that I would not let him take 6 AP courses even if he got into all of them)
The only AP class available to him as a sophomore (this year) that he wanted to take was AP French and he is taking that this year.
Always,
Hope
He is taking a total of 6 qualifying AP tests for next year. AP Euro would very likely be one he elected not to take if he gets into some of the others. (I know for sure that I would not let him take 6 AP courses even if he got into all of them)
The only AP class available to him as a sophomore (this year) that he wanted to take was AP French and he is taking that this year.
Always,
Hope
jules3
03-12-2007, 07:18 PM
I did hear from his therapist today..she told me that he is ok, very homesick and hes depressed..she went on to tell me that he used his drugs as a mask because he has such a low self-esteem.He feels very remorseful and admits to having a problem with drugs. she also said underneath it all she can see that hes very sensitive and puts on a tough act. It sounds to me that shes getting thru to him a bit..i also told her that depression is in our family, she was happy i told her that and she was going to discuss that with his pdoc today or tomorrow. I went on to tell her that 1 of the reasons we picked that facility was because they were dual-diagnosis, not just to detox and to rehab from drug use. She did tell me that he looks great and made some friends. I havent heard from him today, maybe he will call later on. When i talk with him i will tell him to be totally honest with his pdoc and tell him everything he has been thru the past months. Im pretty sure he is tho. Thanks for your thoughts:)
tsohl
03-12-2007, 08:30 PM
Goody,
How did the appointment go this afternoon??
How did the appointment go this afternoon??
goody2shuz
03-12-2007, 10:31 PM
I am somewhat dizzy:dizzy: I should have had hubby come with me....all of this up and down and all around is taking it's toll on me I guess.
The appointment went well except it is 45 minutes away and I forgot to get one of the scripts....her Lamictal. We have enough for today and some extra 25mgs tabs that I can put together to get another 6 days so I guess it isn't too bad....thing is, there are notes all over that they can't call in a script and to make sure you get them at your visit so I am hoping that I don't have a problem getting it. And even if I could it means another hour and a half trip to do so.:yawn:
Anyway....Erin went in and then I did as usual. I went over her behavior and he agreed that we don't quite have stability. He wants to give the extra 25mgs of Seroquel not on a need to be basis but added to her morning dose and evening dose giving her an extra 50mgs per day. So we will be on 350mgs/day rather than the 300mgs. He is hoping that this will put her back in place as far as the hypomania. We also discussed the lack of concentration and OCD symptoms he asked me what I had observed. I told him and mentioned that the concentration was what was bothering Erin the most. I told him that I had heard that the BP should be somewhat stable before addressing the ADHD and he agreed and also told me that he wasn't quite convinced that the symptoms were ADHD related and not part of the OCD or BP and that with Erin's instability he was not too keen on adding another med quite yet. Erin was quite upset about this and he explained to her that since she had so much trouble with antidepressants and Con-certa in the past he didn't want to go adding anything until he got things more in balance with her frustration and hypomania....that perhaps even after getting that set we may see some improvement with the other symptoms that she was having (the lack of concentration and the OCD) I have to say that I was once again impressed with how he handled things. He told us that he wanted to see us back in another 3 weeks to see how things were going.
I then asked him if I could have a few moments of his time to talk to him about my older daughter. Erin stood up right on cue;) and he sent her out to make her next appointment and closed the door. I told him about how Kait had similar problems as Erin since she was 14, the irritability, anger, and impulsive/risky behaviors but no signs of depression/suicidal thoughts and that once Erin was diagnosed with BP I started to have concerns regarding Kait. That her impulsivity continued even in her first year of college and how the summer and college breaks were nothing but problems. I told him that she denied a problem despite my concerns. I also shared my concerns about her use of alcohol and pot despite the family history of alcoholism and that my prayers were answered last week when I received a call from her saying that she thought something was wrong....that she couldn't concentrate in class and had problems with listening with all these other thoughts in her mind. And that she had mentioned that she thought she had seasonal depression as well. I told him that I was going to make an appointment and how I had wanted to get her in before she was 18 but since that didn't happen what would be my role in supporting her as her mom. He smiled and told me that we could do things much like we did with Erin so long as Kait was okay with it. I thanked him and told him how important that was and how happy I was that Kait had initiated this on her own, that it was a long time coming and that I trusted him since he already new Erin and our family history. I apologized for sending another Ms.Goody his way but told him that I was relieved as well. WE said our goodbyes and I was told by the receptionist that Kait would have to call and make the appointment herself.
Jules ~ I am happy to hear that you spoke to your son's therapist today. What you are seeing is to be expected and it is good that they are able to observe it while he is there. And good for you for informing them of your family history and why you picked their facility to get your son the help that he needs as well as the proper diagnosis.
Hope ~ oh how I can relate....the stress definitely has it toll on our kids. What you describe is esactly what Erin experiences...hers is much more on a social level. She has one after another dramatic event walking in the door with her day after day. Even tonight after the pdoc appointment there was another annoying friend who she heard from another girl said something not so nice about her. I explained that it was all heresay unless she heard it herself and reminded her how she had found that out when she was mad a t her best girlfriend's boyfriend because another girl had told her lies about something he said and him lies about something she had said. She got upset with my advice and left telling me she didn't want to hear anything more....I told her that perhaps she should bring it up with the therapist tomorrow. So I know how the least amount of stress affects our kids stability...everything just seems so big to them just like we are seeing with Paige. I have to remind myseslf of that.
Meanwhile, Kait calls me as we were leaving the doctor's office....she asked about the appointment for herself and then went into how everyone went to her suitemate Whitney's house and that she was invited to go this weekend. (Meanwhile she had called earlier saying that 2 of her friends from home would be coming to visit her this weekend). She then told me that she would need some money;) I told her that she was suppose to have been looking for a job while on her break and that we had told her that we would not be sending her any more spending money other than the $30/wk we agreed to for her weekend food since she declined the food plan. She started in with the same old stuff and I told her that I was sorry but that we had made an agreement that when she went to college that we would pay her tuition, room & board and that she would need to save during the summer and get a job at college for any other incidencials. And how we were doing our part and she wasn't doing hers. And how much easier it would be to possibly entertain her request if she hadn't made bad choices and disrespected us by using our home without our permission. She said that she would call dad...I told her to go ahead but it was him that was most upset with her this time and if she couldn't get through me there was no way she would with him. And sure enough I was right. Hubby said that she tried and cried but he stuck to his guns.
I have some other things I want to run past you guys but yet here I am with another long post....I am sorry....I feel like sometimes I hog the spotlight here which I certainly don't like to do but this NEVER ends. Is there a light??? On days like these I really have my doubts.
Thanks for listening....you guys are terrific...and Emerald I am glad that you are here and want to help...I promise to catch up with you later...just alot on my plate today.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
The appointment went well except it is 45 minutes away and I forgot to get one of the scripts....her Lamictal. We have enough for today and some extra 25mgs tabs that I can put together to get another 6 days so I guess it isn't too bad....thing is, there are notes all over that they can't call in a script and to make sure you get them at your visit so I am hoping that I don't have a problem getting it. And even if I could it means another hour and a half trip to do so.:yawn:
Anyway....Erin went in and then I did as usual. I went over her behavior and he agreed that we don't quite have stability. He wants to give the extra 25mgs of Seroquel not on a need to be basis but added to her morning dose and evening dose giving her an extra 50mgs per day. So we will be on 350mgs/day rather than the 300mgs. He is hoping that this will put her back in place as far as the hypomania. We also discussed the lack of concentration and OCD symptoms he asked me what I had observed. I told him and mentioned that the concentration was what was bothering Erin the most. I told him that I had heard that the BP should be somewhat stable before addressing the ADHD and he agreed and also told me that he wasn't quite convinced that the symptoms were ADHD related and not part of the OCD or BP and that with Erin's instability he was not too keen on adding another med quite yet. Erin was quite upset about this and he explained to her that since she had so much trouble with antidepressants and Con-certa in the past he didn't want to go adding anything until he got things more in balance with her frustration and hypomania....that perhaps even after getting that set we may see some improvement with the other symptoms that she was having (the lack of concentration and the OCD) I have to say that I was once again impressed with how he handled things. He told us that he wanted to see us back in another 3 weeks to see how things were going.
I then asked him if I could have a few moments of his time to talk to him about my older daughter. Erin stood up right on cue;) and he sent her out to make her next appointment and closed the door. I told him about how Kait had similar problems as Erin since she was 14, the irritability, anger, and impulsive/risky behaviors but no signs of depression/suicidal thoughts and that once Erin was diagnosed with BP I started to have concerns regarding Kait. That her impulsivity continued even in her first year of college and how the summer and college breaks were nothing but problems. I told him that she denied a problem despite my concerns. I also shared my concerns about her use of alcohol and pot despite the family history of alcoholism and that my prayers were answered last week when I received a call from her saying that she thought something was wrong....that she couldn't concentrate in class and had problems with listening with all these other thoughts in her mind. And that she had mentioned that she thought she had seasonal depression as well. I told him that I was going to make an appointment and how I had wanted to get her in before she was 18 but since that didn't happen what would be my role in supporting her as her mom. He smiled and told me that we could do things much like we did with Erin so long as Kait was okay with it. I thanked him and told him how important that was and how happy I was that Kait had initiated this on her own, that it was a long time coming and that I trusted him since he already new Erin and our family history. I apologized for sending another Ms.Goody his way but told him that I was relieved as well. WE said our goodbyes and I was told by the receptionist that Kait would have to call and make the appointment herself.
Jules ~ I am happy to hear that you spoke to your son's therapist today. What you are seeing is to be expected and it is good that they are able to observe it while he is there. And good for you for informing them of your family history and why you picked their facility to get your son the help that he needs as well as the proper diagnosis.
Hope ~ oh how I can relate....the stress definitely has it toll on our kids. What you describe is esactly what Erin experiences...hers is much more on a social level. She has one after another dramatic event walking in the door with her day after day. Even tonight after the pdoc appointment there was another annoying friend who she heard from another girl said something not so nice about her. I explained that it was all heresay unless she heard it herself and reminded her how she had found that out when she was mad a t her best girlfriend's boyfriend because another girl had told her lies about something he said and him lies about something she had said. She got upset with my advice and left telling me she didn't want to hear anything more....I told her that perhaps she should bring it up with the therapist tomorrow. So I know how the least amount of stress affects our kids stability...everything just seems so big to them just like we are seeing with Paige. I have to remind myseslf of that.
Meanwhile, Kait calls me as we were leaving the doctor's office....she asked about the appointment for herself and then went into how everyone went to her suitemate Whitney's house and that she was invited to go this weekend. (Meanwhile she had called earlier saying that 2 of her friends from home would be coming to visit her this weekend). She then told me that she would need some money;) I told her that she was suppose to have been looking for a job while on her break and that we had told her that we would not be sending her any more spending money other than the $30/wk we agreed to for her weekend food since she declined the food plan. She started in with the same old stuff and I told her that I was sorry but that we had made an agreement that when she went to college that we would pay her tuition, room & board and that she would need to save during the summer and get a job at college for any other incidencials. And how we were doing our part and she wasn't doing hers. And how much easier it would be to possibly entertain her request if she hadn't made bad choices and disrespected us by using our home without our permission. She said that she would call dad...I told her to go ahead but it was him that was most upset with her this time and if she couldn't get through me there was no way she would with him. And sure enough I was right. Hubby said that she tried and cried but he stuck to his guns.
I have some other things I want to run past you guys but yet here I am with another long post....I am sorry....I feel like sometimes I hog the spotlight here which I certainly don't like to do but this NEVER ends. Is there a light??? On days like these I really have my doubts.
Thanks for listening....you guys are terrific...and Emerald I am glad that you are here and want to help...I promise to catch up with you later...just alot on my plate today.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
langlee
03-12-2007, 10:59 PM
Goody, my friend,
It sounds like the pdoc appointment went as well as you could expect. I am thrilled that Erin can tolerate so much Seroquel. I think if Zac took that much he would be the walking dead!! It sounds like the pdoc is really paying attention and I'm glad he wants to review again in 3 weeks. Even though he has signs up about the prescriptions, he may be able to call in a limited dose of Lamictal since you will only need 2 weeks worth.
It's interesting that Kait has to make her own appointment. Since I don't have a child over 18, I'm not familiar with the practices, but I can certainly imagine Zac asking me to make his appointments for him until he is 112!
I'll be interested to hear how Kait's appointment goes. Let us know when she makes it. And good for your husband and you for presenting a united front to Kait. Consistency is hard to come by when parenting but so necessary.
On a lighter note, Zac seems to be managing better than expected. He went to Wind Ensemble tonight and his music teacher, who has been very, very supportive told him how thrilled she was to have him back. He told her that "Zac is back, but it's a new and improved fixed Zac." Well, at least he can keep his sense of humor.
It is amazing to me how supportive and wonderful some people have been and how disappointing others have been. His private music teacher, who he had a good relationship with, never even answered our calls and e-mails when he was going through the worst of it. I will never forgive her callousness.
In any event, the roads in Hopeville are a little bumpy, but we are still able to navigate our way. Looking forward to hearing more from Goodyland, Julesworld and Tsohltown, as well as from all of our other friends out there.
Have a good night, all.
Hope
It sounds like the pdoc appointment went as well as you could expect. I am thrilled that Erin can tolerate so much Seroquel. I think if Zac took that much he would be the walking dead!! It sounds like the pdoc is really paying attention and I'm glad he wants to review again in 3 weeks. Even though he has signs up about the prescriptions, he may be able to call in a limited dose of Lamictal since you will only need 2 weeks worth.
It's interesting that Kait has to make her own appointment. Since I don't have a child over 18, I'm not familiar with the practices, but I can certainly imagine Zac asking me to make his appointments for him until he is 112!
I'll be interested to hear how Kait's appointment goes. Let us know when she makes it. And good for your husband and you for presenting a united front to Kait. Consistency is hard to come by when parenting but so necessary.
On a lighter note, Zac seems to be managing better than expected. He went to Wind Ensemble tonight and his music teacher, who has been very, very supportive told him how thrilled she was to have him back. He told her that "Zac is back, but it's a new and improved fixed Zac." Well, at least he can keep his sense of humor.
It is amazing to me how supportive and wonderful some people have been and how disappointing others have been. His private music teacher, who he had a good relationship with, never even answered our calls and e-mails when he was going through the worst of it. I will never forgive her callousness.
In any event, the roads in Hopeville are a little bumpy, but we are still able to navigate our way. Looking forward to hearing more from Goodyland, Julesworld and Tsohltown, as well as from all of our other friends out there.
Have a good night, all.
Hope
tsohl
03-12-2007, 11:40 PM
Just to fill you in on the over 17 set...you might as well be dead unless your child has signed forms giving permission for information to be shared. It doesn't matter if you are the parent or Santa Claus. If your child has not gone out of his/her way to assure you are "on the list" or documented as being allowed to have information, you will not see or hear anything. It is very frustrating -- particularly if your child is taken somewhere in such a state that he's not capable of signing a paper or making a decision.
I suppose it may vary depending on who you are dealing with, but I think the governing laws are now federal.
Also, colleges will not send grades to you even though you are paying bills. If a kid gets busted for drug use or something like that, they do not notify you. That's why I was so amazed that Kait's college would talk to Goody -- I can't remember now what that was all about -- but that was certainly not the norm.
gotta run --Tsohl
I suppose it may vary depending on who you are dealing with, but I think the governing laws are now federal.
Also, colleges will not send grades to you even though you are paying bills. If a kid gets busted for drug use or something like that, they do not notify you. That's why I was so amazed that Kait's college would talk to Goody -- I can't remember now what that was all about -- but that was certainly not the norm.
gotta run --Tsohl
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 12:06 AM
Thanks, Hope for your words of support. I am happy to hear that Zac was able to go back with such a positive attitude. What he said shows such strength for all that he has been through. You should be proud of him...I sure am.:D I know how disappointing it can be when people who you thought would be supportive of how much Zac has endured would be there to support him and praise him for his progress. But the wind ensemble teacher made up for it, didn't she??
I had a difficult day because my mom called today and when I shared some of Erin's recent behavior she suggested that this is all behavioral and that our girls are playing us and asked how much longer we were going to let them do this??? She told me that it was time for hubby and I to make plans for our future...that we were setting it up so that our girls would ruin our lives.:eek: She even said that if we didn't do something about it now that she was afraid that my hubby would leave me and all this would be on my shoulders. She even said that she thought that Kait's wanting to go to the doctor may be to get herself some meds she could sell on campus to make some money!!:eek: I was shocked!!
I was so disappointed and hurt by what she said because I thought that she has been supportive and understanding but the things that she was saying said otherwise and showed clearly how ignorant she was to the fact that I had no choice right now other than to do all that I can with the time I had left to stabilize Erin and see if Kait will need help as well. The thing is, it was my grandmother who had manic depression and was an alcoholic. I reminded my mother about all the times she was there for her mother despite that and her being unmedicated and how hypocritical it was for her to tell me to do anything different.
I started to choke up and told her that I was offended that she would think that Erin was making this all up and that it wasn't normal to cut yourself or attemt suicide twice. She apologized and went on to tell me that she was worried about me as I was Erin because she was a mom. I told her that I was okay but that her lack of understanding of BP and how I am only doing what any mother should do really hurt me. That Erin had a dis-ease of the brain and that she needed the same love and understanding as she would need if she had diabetes or cancer and just because she didn't understand BP gave her no right to tell me how to act as a mother. That my time was ticking to find Erin the right meds and to educate her so that she would have a great future. It was difficult to hear this from my mom but towards the end of the conversation she asked me to educate her so that she could better understand. I have to give her credit there but still I was hurt. She did call me later on and apologized and told me that she loved me.
Here I go again, another long post. Tsohl is really going to have an optical migraine after all of this.
Erin just came down and said that she had diarrhea and a headache and didn't want to go to school tomorrow. We have a doctor's appointment for her physical Wednesday and told her that we would talk to the doctor about it. I am thinking that it is something stress related and wonder if I should allow her to stay home. I left off with her that we will see how she feels in the morning and take it from there.
Also...in her journal she mentioned another impulsive act. She said that she farted and wanted to see what would happen if she lit it with a lighter and she video taped it on her camera and said that it was a two foot flame that made her room smell like burning hair. Of course I can't really say much about her journal and my discoveries. Also....she is writing alot during class time. I think that I will tell her tomorrow that I got a call from a few of her teachers saying that she was writing in a notebook instead of listening in class and take it from there.
So those are the things that filled my day and are of concern to me.
Thanks for listening....Goody:angel: :wave:
I had a difficult day because my mom called today and when I shared some of Erin's recent behavior she suggested that this is all behavioral and that our girls are playing us and asked how much longer we were going to let them do this??? She told me that it was time for hubby and I to make plans for our future...that we were setting it up so that our girls would ruin our lives.:eek: She even said that if we didn't do something about it now that she was afraid that my hubby would leave me and all this would be on my shoulders. She even said that she thought that Kait's wanting to go to the doctor may be to get herself some meds she could sell on campus to make some money!!:eek: I was shocked!!
I was so disappointed and hurt by what she said because I thought that she has been supportive and understanding but the things that she was saying said otherwise and showed clearly how ignorant she was to the fact that I had no choice right now other than to do all that I can with the time I had left to stabilize Erin and see if Kait will need help as well. The thing is, it was my grandmother who had manic depression and was an alcoholic. I reminded my mother about all the times she was there for her mother despite that and her being unmedicated and how hypocritical it was for her to tell me to do anything different.
I started to choke up and told her that I was offended that she would think that Erin was making this all up and that it wasn't normal to cut yourself or attemt suicide twice. She apologized and went on to tell me that she was worried about me as I was Erin because she was a mom. I told her that I was okay but that her lack of understanding of BP and how I am only doing what any mother should do really hurt me. That Erin had a dis-ease of the brain and that she needed the same love and understanding as she would need if she had diabetes or cancer and just because she didn't understand BP gave her no right to tell me how to act as a mother. That my time was ticking to find Erin the right meds and to educate her so that she would have a great future. It was difficult to hear this from my mom but towards the end of the conversation she asked me to educate her so that she could better understand. I have to give her credit there but still I was hurt. She did call me later on and apologized and told me that she loved me.
Here I go again, another long post. Tsohl is really going to have an optical migraine after all of this.
Erin just came down and said that she had diarrhea and a headache and didn't want to go to school tomorrow. We have a doctor's appointment for her physical Wednesday and told her that we would talk to the doctor about it. I am thinking that it is something stress related and wonder if I should allow her to stay home. I left off with her that we will see how she feels in the morning and take it from there.
Also...in her journal she mentioned another impulsive act. She said that she farted and wanted to see what would happen if she lit it with a lighter and she video taped it on her camera and said that it was a two foot flame that made her room smell like burning hair. Of course I can't really say much about her journal and my discoveries. Also....she is writing alot during class time. I think that I will tell her tomorrow that I got a call from a few of her teachers saying that she was writing in a notebook instead of listening in class and take it from there.
So those are the things that filled my day and are of concern to me.
Thanks for listening....Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-13-2007, 12:33 AM
No, no optical migraine yet, but then I haven't been on the computer for 14 hours today either :dizzy: . Before I get going, I have a question. How do you know that someone was looking at the board but didn't post?
Poor Goody ~ I would be really upset with your mom...but at least she apologized and that shows that she realizes she has not understood the "nature of the beast." I doubt my parents would have understood either. And frankly, there are times when you wonder if your girls are playing you, too. Kait is really too old to be pulling that "I'll call Dad" routine!! I bet she was really surprised when you stuck to your guns about the spending money.
Sounds like you had a productive meeting with the pdoc...and he sounds like he listens to you and takes your concerns to heart. Hope the tweaking helps Erin. Guess you'll know in a matter of days, right?
Talk to you tomorrow ~
Take care, my friend.
Tsohl
Poor Goody ~ I would be really upset with your mom...but at least she apologized and that shows that she realizes she has not understood the "nature of the beast." I doubt my parents would have understood either. And frankly, there are times when you wonder if your girls are playing you, too. Kait is really too old to be pulling that "I'll call Dad" routine!! I bet she was really surprised when you stuck to your guns about the spending money.
Sounds like you had a productive meeting with the pdoc...and he sounds like he listens to you and takes your concerns to heart. Hope the tweaking helps Erin. Guess you'll know in a matter of days, right?
Talk to you tomorrow ~
Take care, my friend.
Tsohl
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 09:04 AM
Thanks, Tsohl for the pep talk.;) I may be needing some more since there are new developments. First things first. To check when somebody was last on you would go check their name and click on their profile. On the far right hand corner there will be a date and time indicating when they were last active. Hope this helps...it took me a while to know how to do that.;)
I woke up this morning with Erin....she took a shower and when I went into her room to bring in some laundry I saw a pack of cigarettes lying on her bed.... an empty box with one almost fully smoked butt in it. I smelt it to see if it may be filled with pot but it wasn't. I went to her purse laying beside it and came upon a clear cylinder about 2 inches in diameter and inside was a mini kit of pot in a tiny ziplock and from my estimation just enough to fill one joint and a partially filled joint that was yet to be used....it looked as if everything was prefabbed and ready to go. My heart sunk. I left everything "as is" to see what Erin would do with it....this will allow me the opportunity to pull a random test and catch her, without that I will have nothing to fall back on.
Erin ran out the door barely making the bus and I packed up some hot oatmeal in a chinese container to take on the bus....her last comment was nasty even though I was neutral barely saying anything knowing that mornings are not the time of day to talk or have any converstions. I have to say on her behalf that she did apologize for being nasty to me before going to bed last night.
Anyway....I know that you must understand how disappointing this all is. Here I am fighting to get her stabilized while she is working against it. She did ask about the $5 we owed her for laying out lunch money and I told her that we would square away after school.
I will have to time the drug test to have my best chance of getting a positive. And my plan is that if she does test positive that she will not be able to work that job that she wants to start giving her money to get the stuff.
Any other words of advice?? Could this be part of her hypomania??? Or are we going to have a drug problem on top of the BP??? I know each of us here has had to face this disappointment and reality that BP and drug use is more common than we think.
Well....Goodyland is full of action as usual.....sorry to say.
And I know all too well where I stand as far as getting any info on Kait....however, one thing I do know is that she won't give me any problem with signing those papers. One thing is, that when it comes to going to doctors, Kait does trust me and want me there. Her physical for college she insisted on having me there knowing that there would be some shots. I let her go into the examination room herself and she kept on calling me in. The Pediatrician who knows her since birth laughed and at one point asked me to leave promising Kait that she would call me back in when it came time to get the shots. Seems like Zac won't be the only one who needs his mom until he is 112 was it????:jester:
Oh, well....time will tell, she could use it as leverage to get something else knowing how important it is for me as a mom to have some input....but my instincts tell me that it shouldn't be a problem.
Jules ~ and how are you doing this morning...sorry, didn't want this turning into an "all about me affair":D
Talk to you later ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
I woke up this morning with Erin....she took a shower and when I went into her room to bring in some laundry I saw a pack of cigarettes lying on her bed.... an empty box with one almost fully smoked butt in it. I smelt it to see if it may be filled with pot but it wasn't. I went to her purse laying beside it and came upon a clear cylinder about 2 inches in diameter and inside was a mini kit of pot in a tiny ziplock and from my estimation just enough to fill one joint and a partially filled joint that was yet to be used....it looked as if everything was prefabbed and ready to go. My heart sunk. I left everything "as is" to see what Erin would do with it....this will allow me the opportunity to pull a random test and catch her, without that I will have nothing to fall back on.
Erin ran out the door barely making the bus and I packed up some hot oatmeal in a chinese container to take on the bus....her last comment was nasty even though I was neutral barely saying anything knowing that mornings are not the time of day to talk or have any converstions. I have to say on her behalf that she did apologize for being nasty to me before going to bed last night.
Anyway....I know that you must understand how disappointing this all is. Here I am fighting to get her stabilized while she is working against it. She did ask about the $5 we owed her for laying out lunch money and I told her that we would square away after school.
I will have to time the drug test to have my best chance of getting a positive. And my plan is that if she does test positive that she will not be able to work that job that she wants to start giving her money to get the stuff.
Any other words of advice?? Could this be part of her hypomania??? Or are we going to have a drug problem on top of the BP??? I know each of us here has had to face this disappointment and reality that BP and drug use is more common than we think.
Well....Goodyland is full of action as usual.....sorry to say.
And I know all too well where I stand as far as getting any info on Kait....however, one thing I do know is that she won't give me any problem with signing those papers. One thing is, that when it comes to going to doctors, Kait does trust me and want me there. Her physical for college she insisted on having me there knowing that there would be some shots. I let her go into the examination room herself and she kept on calling me in. The Pediatrician who knows her since birth laughed and at one point asked me to leave promising Kait that she would call me back in when it came time to get the shots. Seems like Zac won't be the only one who needs his mom until he is 112 was it????:jester:
Oh, well....time will tell, she could use it as leverage to get something else knowing how important it is for me as a mom to have some input....but my instincts tell me that it shouldn't be a problem.
Jules ~ and how are you doing this morning...sorry, didn't want this turning into an "all about me affair":D
Talk to you later ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
mamiacp
03-13-2007, 10:35 AM
I can imagine your disappointment from your mother's reaction and then finding drugs in your daughter's room today. I have had to turn a deaf ear to my in-laws for the same reason. There is a huge amount of denial, and lack of education on their side. Also, they live overseas and BP, OCD, ADHD and other mental issues are hardly discussed or acknowledged. Your mother seems to want to know but at the same time is hurting for you as her daughter-she has been there. You know that motherly instinct never changes, no matter what age. As far as the drugs-I have not been there, but will try to give some advice. Certainly she needs to know that you found marijuana I think you are wise to not allow her to take on the job. Our daughters need to know we are always being vigelent, even if they feel it is nosy or intrusive. Marijuana is mild, considering the other drugs out there, but you are wise to have her drug tested. On the other hand, I wanted to add, my daughter started taking 25mg of Seroquel during the day in the morning and afternoon, and it was very helpful in keeping her stable during the day. This may help to keep her more rational and realizing that drugs are only masking her feelings. You know the drug use can also be an sign of impulsive behavior (ADHD), her not considering the consequences, acting and forgetting she has the drugs. Your daughter certainly is a talented and bright young lady, with goals. Once you and her doctor feel she is stable, addressing the ADHD might be a good idea. Our daughter has taken every stimulant and only after being stable was Metadate XL helpful. She fought it for years(now I know why) but once we knew she was bipolar, and she became stable, she then accepted the Metadate without a problem. It does affect her appetite (she is not hungry), but the Seroquel combats that and she does eat well, despite the stimulant medication.
Today we are on Spring Break and she has a friend sleeping over. They want to go to the movies this afternoon, and this will be a first for her-going out with friends without parents. I will be dropping them off, and picking up. We have had the talk, so this is new territory for her. I could not have considered doing this a few months ago, but I know I have to give her the chance to show she can make decisions and good judgements on her own.
I know it always seems to be a few steps forward and then some back. That is true with all teens. You are doing everything right. You will never give up because you are a good mother. Stay strong because you can help your daughter to win this battle.
Cristina
Today we are on Spring Break and she has a friend sleeping over. They want to go to the movies this afternoon, and this will be a first for her-going out with friends without parents. I will be dropping them off, and picking up. We have had the talk, so this is new territory for her. I could not have considered doing this a few months ago, but I know I have to give her the chance to show she can make decisions and good judgements on her own.
I know it always seems to be a few steps forward and then some back. That is true with all teens. You are doing everything right. You will never give up because you are a good mother. Stay strong because you can help your daughter to win this battle.
Cristina
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 10:48 AM
Geez, Christina....seems that whenever I need an angel somehow one appears.:angel: Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.
It seems that our daughters are the same age from what I can recall and diagnosed around the same time as well.;) That is helpful, knowing that there is yet another mom who can relate.
Alot of what you say is not only comforting but so helpful. The Metadate XL sounds like something that may be part of our future...I needed something to have in my back pocket and Erin is having a hard time keeping the munchies at bay from the Seroquel. I could perhaps scare her and tell her that pot gives you even more munchies and that may help things out in that department;) Does the Metadate XL come in a patch form???
Thanks for the hope regarding the extra Seroquel. I am hoping that the increase will do us well to.
Kristen, thanks for your warm understanding...it really was just what I needed this morning.
I think that it is great that you are back to being able to trust your daughter. Our daughter wants to go see a friend in Conneticut and we have been entertaining that, but with the latest lies and behavior we have very good reason not to trust her on that. So those plans will have to be cancelled unless the girl comes to our home.
Time to pull the leash back in....and remind our daughter that it is the BP that we don't trust and have more concerns than the everyday teenage parent.
Thanks, again.
((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
It seems that our daughters are the same age from what I can recall and diagnosed around the same time as well.;) That is helpful, knowing that there is yet another mom who can relate.
Alot of what you say is not only comforting but so helpful. The Metadate XL sounds like something that may be part of our future...I needed something to have in my back pocket and Erin is having a hard time keeping the munchies at bay from the Seroquel. I could perhaps scare her and tell her that pot gives you even more munchies and that may help things out in that department;) Does the Metadate XL come in a patch form???
Thanks for the hope regarding the extra Seroquel. I am hoping that the increase will do us well to.
Kristen, thanks for your warm understanding...it really was just what I needed this morning.
I think that it is great that you are back to being able to trust your daughter. Our daughter wants to go see a friend in Conneticut and we have been entertaining that, but with the latest lies and behavior we have very good reason not to trust her on that. So those plans will have to be cancelled unless the girl comes to our home.
Time to pull the leash back in....and remind our daughter that it is the BP that we don't trust and have more concerns than the everyday teenage parent.
Thanks, again.
((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-13-2007, 12:16 PM
Hi Goody,
The roller coaster braked so Hope could hop back on...and while it has slowed down, looks like you'll have to hop aboard, too. ;)
We just can't seem to put too many good weeks (days?) together, can we?
I'm going to say something you don't want to hear, but I think this pot issue is more Erin wanting to fit in with her peers than it is bipolar. She has her big sister as a role model and you have some idea what Kait was or is doing regarding the use of drugs, but you don't know for sure, and don't know the whole story. Erin may know more and it may be influencing her. Also, everything you've ever said about Erin paints the picture of a girl who is desperate to fit in with her peers. She is easily swayed by their opinion, etc. Pot is soooo common and the fact that she has so little shows that she is just wanting to try it a bit. I don't think it has anything to do with her BP. Just because she's medicated and in therapy, she is not going to turn into a different personality, nor is she suddenly going to start acting like a mature, rational adult. She's a kid. Again it's walking that line between what is normal teen behavior and what are the symptoms of hypomania. There isn't a clear line, Goody. BP is a spectrum of symptoms and the same could be said for teen behavior. In reality, what kid tells her parent everything? Do you tell your mom everything?? She knows how you'd react if you knew she had pot, but the urge to fit in is stronger than her fear of what you'll do. She probably figures if she just has a little and doesn't have it often, she won't get caught....
I don't think kids today think smoking pot is a big deal. I think it is no more unusual than smoking cigarettes, and it doesn't even cost more now that they keep adding all these taxes onto tobacco! So I'm not sure how you handle this.
I think you have to reinforce how aside from being illegal, it will affect how the meds work and she won't find stability -- but then some prefer feeling manic (did you see Llama's last thread?). You need to avoid that, if possible.
I'll be curious to hear how you handle this.
Well, you have a few hours to regroup while Erin is at school today....enjoy!
:wave: Tsohl
The roller coaster braked so Hope could hop back on...and while it has slowed down, looks like you'll have to hop aboard, too. ;)
We just can't seem to put too many good weeks (days?) together, can we?
I'm going to say something you don't want to hear, but I think this pot issue is more Erin wanting to fit in with her peers than it is bipolar. She has her big sister as a role model and you have some idea what Kait was or is doing regarding the use of drugs, but you don't know for sure, and don't know the whole story. Erin may know more and it may be influencing her. Also, everything you've ever said about Erin paints the picture of a girl who is desperate to fit in with her peers. She is easily swayed by their opinion, etc. Pot is soooo common and the fact that she has so little shows that she is just wanting to try it a bit. I don't think it has anything to do with her BP. Just because she's medicated and in therapy, she is not going to turn into a different personality, nor is she suddenly going to start acting like a mature, rational adult. She's a kid. Again it's walking that line between what is normal teen behavior and what are the symptoms of hypomania. There isn't a clear line, Goody. BP is a spectrum of symptoms and the same could be said for teen behavior. In reality, what kid tells her parent everything? Do you tell your mom everything?? She knows how you'd react if you knew she had pot, but the urge to fit in is stronger than her fear of what you'll do. She probably figures if she just has a little and doesn't have it often, she won't get caught....
I don't think kids today think smoking pot is a big deal. I think it is no more unusual than smoking cigarettes, and it doesn't even cost more now that they keep adding all these taxes onto tobacco! So I'm not sure how you handle this.
I think you have to reinforce how aside from being illegal, it will affect how the meds work and she won't find stability -- but then some prefer feeling manic (did you see Llama's last thread?). You need to avoid that, if possible.
I'll be curious to hear how you handle this.
Well, you have a few hours to regroup while Erin is at school today....enjoy!
:wave: Tsohl
langlee
03-13-2007, 12:50 PM
My dear Goody,
I think Tsohl hit it right on the head with the pot issue, so I'm going to let her sage wisdom stand on that topic.
In terms of your mother, I think her love for you precluded her judgement. It's a good sign that she wants to learn more about BP. As much as you are hurt, if you have a good relationship with her, I think you need to give her a break on this one. She, too, has been dealing with the pain of your brother's illness and she probably just wants you to be happy and sees that your children are stressing you out. She is concerned about your marriage (not that she has any reason to be, but women of that generation seem to always be worrying about what the men can handle!) and she wants to make sure that after your children go on with their own lives, that you still have one.
That is not to say I am defending your mother. She certainly could have been more sensitive and in-tune to your needs. I know how many times my mother hurt me with something she said and then tried to backtrack and clarify, but the hurt was still there.
It does seem sometimes, though, that the people on this board are the ONLY ones who really understand our lives, doesn't it?
There must be a full-moon out or something, though, because I have had my own overwhelming day. It's not that anything happened. It's just that I am so aware that I want Zac to get on the right meds and be done with all of this and I know that's not ever going to be the case. I see what happened to our darling Paige who has been a bastion of strength. I see others who have been doing really well and are going through challenges and I just hate this! I hate that Zac is going to have to deal with this for the rest of his life and we are, too. I hate that we will never know when his meds stop working, or some stress happens in his life that he won't be able to handle, or what he will do. I hate that when he goes to college, we will have no way of really knowing what is going on or how he is. I HATE THIS! I guess I'm having my own pity party today, but I'm tired of having to be strong, of having to always be thinking one step ahead, of not knowing what tomorrow will look like.
OK, I vented. I need to take a deep breath and re-center. But not yet. First I want to feel incredibly sorry for myself and my son.
Jules - where are you? Is everything OK?
Tsohl, any words of wisdom to help me through this?
Can anyone else give me some perspective so I can re-center?
Climbing the hill on the rollercoaster today,
Hope
I think Tsohl hit it right on the head with the pot issue, so I'm going to let her sage wisdom stand on that topic.
In terms of your mother, I think her love for you precluded her judgement. It's a good sign that she wants to learn more about BP. As much as you are hurt, if you have a good relationship with her, I think you need to give her a break on this one. She, too, has been dealing with the pain of your brother's illness and she probably just wants you to be happy and sees that your children are stressing you out. She is concerned about your marriage (not that she has any reason to be, but women of that generation seem to always be worrying about what the men can handle!) and she wants to make sure that after your children go on with their own lives, that you still have one.
That is not to say I am defending your mother. She certainly could have been more sensitive and in-tune to your needs. I know how many times my mother hurt me with something she said and then tried to backtrack and clarify, but the hurt was still there.
It does seem sometimes, though, that the people on this board are the ONLY ones who really understand our lives, doesn't it?
There must be a full-moon out or something, though, because I have had my own overwhelming day. It's not that anything happened. It's just that I am so aware that I want Zac to get on the right meds and be done with all of this and I know that's not ever going to be the case. I see what happened to our darling Paige who has been a bastion of strength. I see others who have been doing really well and are going through challenges and I just hate this! I hate that Zac is going to have to deal with this for the rest of his life and we are, too. I hate that we will never know when his meds stop working, or some stress happens in his life that he won't be able to handle, or what he will do. I hate that when he goes to college, we will have no way of really knowing what is going on or how he is. I HATE THIS! I guess I'm having my own pity party today, but I'm tired of having to be strong, of having to always be thinking one step ahead, of not knowing what tomorrow will look like.
OK, I vented. I need to take a deep breath and re-center. But not yet. First I want to feel incredibly sorry for myself and my son.
Jules - where are you? Is everything OK?
Tsohl, any words of wisdom to help me through this?
Can anyone else give me some perspective so I can re-center?
Climbing the hill on the rollercoaster today,
Hope
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 01:17 PM
Oh, Hope, how could anyone know how it feels to be in these two shoes anymore than you do, or Jules, or Tsohl or any other parent here. And I am with you at that pity party...sometimes I wonder if there is a life after BP for us as parents.
I hear you and you hit the nail right on the head.....I am afraid that this will forever be a part of our lives and I don't want our kids to be the 20, 30, 40, or 50 year olds who feel so alone. I am afraid for our kids, that if they don't understand how important it is to stay stable that we won't be there for them and that they will be feeling as alone as some of the others here.
Like, where is Tee's mom or family in all of this??? Or any of the others. Have they given up on them and will we??
I can't imagine going on this rollercoaster ride forever....something is going to have to give and will it be our marriages when they can't take any more??? Will we feel that we have to make that choice to cut all ties to our kids because they have chosen to go on and off their meds while we are expected to pick up the pieces???
I am tired of all of this too...I want so much to hold onto hope and have faith that all this sacrificing will be all worth it, but I don't see much hope lately. This is almost like a life sentence for us and our kids and when will it end??
I am sorry....but I don't know when to stop being a parent and I think that is what my mom was trying to tell me. She has seen how this has become our way of life and I guess wants to see it differently. It was almost as if she was telling me to put my kids in a group home and let the state take care of them. Like the decision must be when our parents become too sick to care for themselves and we have to decide what to do for them which is going to be coming up for me soon. How will I get through that and what is happening with my girls??? Where will the strength come from???? And how much can one human being bear at one time????
I guess Paige was our beam of hope and when she is spiraling downward with all that she has done to move upward it truly scares me as to how our kids lives will be. I have been looking at one day at a time because frankly it is really scary to look even one day beyond that.
Okay....what is up around here???? There has to be something around here that will restore our hope....I feel like the air has come out of my balloon suddenly. I want my girls back when they were little and healthy and happy, before this disorder took them away from me. How cruel, and how painful this all is.
I thought the pain was all gone but it is still there. I am, as I know all of us are, trying to rise above it and find hope but sometimes it just is too damn hard to.
Yup...Goody's venting too and still trying to hold onto the "hope and faith" ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
I hear you and you hit the nail right on the head.....I am afraid that this will forever be a part of our lives and I don't want our kids to be the 20, 30, 40, or 50 year olds who feel so alone. I am afraid for our kids, that if they don't understand how important it is to stay stable that we won't be there for them and that they will be feeling as alone as some of the others here.
Like, where is Tee's mom or family in all of this??? Or any of the others. Have they given up on them and will we??
I can't imagine going on this rollercoaster ride forever....something is going to have to give and will it be our marriages when they can't take any more??? Will we feel that we have to make that choice to cut all ties to our kids because they have chosen to go on and off their meds while we are expected to pick up the pieces???
I am tired of all of this too...I want so much to hold onto hope and have faith that all this sacrificing will be all worth it, but I don't see much hope lately. This is almost like a life sentence for us and our kids and when will it end??
I am sorry....but I don't know when to stop being a parent and I think that is what my mom was trying to tell me. She has seen how this has become our way of life and I guess wants to see it differently. It was almost as if she was telling me to put my kids in a group home and let the state take care of them. Like the decision must be when our parents become too sick to care for themselves and we have to decide what to do for them which is going to be coming up for me soon. How will I get through that and what is happening with my girls??? Where will the strength come from???? And how much can one human being bear at one time????
I guess Paige was our beam of hope and when she is spiraling downward with all that she has done to move upward it truly scares me as to how our kids lives will be. I have been looking at one day at a time because frankly it is really scary to look even one day beyond that.
Okay....what is up around here???? There has to be something around here that will restore our hope....I feel like the air has come out of my balloon suddenly. I want my girls back when they were little and healthy and happy, before this disorder took them away from me. How cruel, and how painful this all is.
I thought the pain was all gone but it is still there. I am, as I know all of us are, trying to rise above it and find hope but sometimes it just is too damn hard to.
Yup...Goody's venting too and still trying to hold onto the "hope and faith" ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-13-2007, 01:31 PM
Hi Hope,
Yeah, I have words of wisdom: Thank god we don't all crack up at the same time!! We have to take turns. :p
Now, regarding your issues, you are back to grieving the loss of what "might have been." You got through the most recent crisis, it wasn't as bad as you thought; Zac is on meds that are working...so you don't have that to fully occupy you, and you are thinking ahead.
It is especially upsetting to you to see Paige going into the hospital. She is just a little older than Zac, has ambition for her future, etc. There are many ways you identify with her and this set-back is personally threatening to you.
Also it is Zac's second day back...way too early to have a routine, see a pattern, whatever.
But I'm here to tell you to relax. You need to have more faith in Zac. You have good docs in place, Zac is compliant with his meds and seems to realize he needs them, right? He will find his own rhythm and he will be fine. He'll figure out what he can do, what he needs to do, how much he can do, etc. it's very much like trying to get set up with the proper dosage of insulin...you get a feel for how much you can eat of this, or what you need of that...and pretty soon it becomes a part of your life and your routine and you just accept it.
There is a book I want to recommend -- a lot of it won't apply now, but you can read through it and perhaps recognize some things relating to when Zac was younger. It is "Understand the Mind of your Bipolar Child" by Gregory T. Lombardo, M.D., Ph.D. This guy is bipolar himself; he was a teacher for years before going to medical school and becoming a psychiatrist. He knows the problems children have fitting into a school setting and he traces things from a developmental viewpoint. I am finding it useful and my son is 25...much to my amazement. I'm not sure how he got that old!! I just got the book last week and haven't read all of it yet, but what I have read, I like. It may be a little too technical for some, but I think it is helpful. He talks about what to expect when they go away to college, or first job, etc. He even talks about how maturity is delayed in kids today and many do not achieve it until into their 30s. :eek:
So, hang in there, Hope. You could still be battling the awful times you went through a few months ago...or you could browse through some of the other boards and see that some are much worse off. Manic-depression is a treatable illness. You may find that Zac even comes to have an appreciation for it, as my son has.
love and hugs,
Tsohl
Yeah, I have words of wisdom: Thank god we don't all crack up at the same time!! We have to take turns. :p
Now, regarding your issues, you are back to grieving the loss of what "might have been." You got through the most recent crisis, it wasn't as bad as you thought; Zac is on meds that are working...so you don't have that to fully occupy you, and you are thinking ahead.
It is especially upsetting to you to see Paige going into the hospital. She is just a little older than Zac, has ambition for her future, etc. There are many ways you identify with her and this set-back is personally threatening to you.
Also it is Zac's second day back...way too early to have a routine, see a pattern, whatever.
But I'm here to tell you to relax. You need to have more faith in Zac. You have good docs in place, Zac is compliant with his meds and seems to realize he needs them, right? He will find his own rhythm and he will be fine. He'll figure out what he can do, what he needs to do, how much he can do, etc. it's very much like trying to get set up with the proper dosage of insulin...you get a feel for how much you can eat of this, or what you need of that...and pretty soon it becomes a part of your life and your routine and you just accept it.
There is a book I want to recommend -- a lot of it won't apply now, but you can read through it and perhaps recognize some things relating to when Zac was younger. It is "Understand the Mind of your Bipolar Child" by Gregory T. Lombardo, M.D., Ph.D. This guy is bipolar himself; he was a teacher for years before going to medical school and becoming a psychiatrist. He knows the problems children have fitting into a school setting and he traces things from a developmental viewpoint. I am finding it useful and my son is 25...much to my amazement. I'm not sure how he got that old!! I just got the book last week and haven't read all of it yet, but what I have read, I like. It may be a little too technical for some, but I think it is helpful. He talks about what to expect when they go away to college, or first job, etc. He even talks about how maturity is delayed in kids today and many do not achieve it until into their 30s. :eek:
So, hang in there, Hope. You could still be battling the awful times you went through a few months ago...or you could browse through some of the other boards and see that some are much worse off. Manic-depression is a treatable illness. You may find that Zac even comes to have an appreciation for it, as my son has.
love and hugs,
Tsohl
langlee
03-13-2007, 01:51 PM
I don't know what I would do without all of you! Goody and I seem to be on the same seesaw today, but with Tsohl's great insight, we can at least sit on opposite ends so we can find some balance!
Tsohl, I'm going to get the book and you calmed me down considerably. Thank you. I do think that Paige's hospitilization set me back. She has been so unbelievably wise and mature that I must have thought she was untouchable. I give her so much credit for knowing she needed help and getting it, but I wish she didn't have to experience one more day of pain or suffering. She has earned the right to be done with all of this!!!!
Goody, read Tsohl's response to me and insert Erin's name. Although Zac is experiencing a little more stability than Erin right now, they really have been taking turns with making us crazy! I think we both have to learn, too, what we can worry about and what we can't. For example, this morning my husband was stressing out about whether Zac actually finished his Language Arts paper. I think he did, I want to believe he did, but if he didn't, he is going to have suffer the consequences like every other student there. We have done what we can - gotten him meds, gotten him docs, given him support. If he chooses to throw some of this away, we are going to have to pull back and let him.
It is so hard because I don't want to see him falter anymore than he already has. And I don't want to let him fritter away his opportunitites. But, I can't live his life for him. Ultimately, he is going to have to find his own way and I am going to have to find mine again. This is so, so hard. I still HATE it.
I guess I'm not really re-centered yet, so Goody I need you to help even out the seesaw!
Love to all of you,
Still teetering Hope
Tsohl, I'm going to get the book and you calmed me down considerably. Thank you. I do think that Paige's hospitilization set me back. She has been so unbelievably wise and mature that I must have thought she was untouchable. I give her so much credit for knowing she needed help and getting it, but I wish she didn't have to experience one more day of pain or suffering. She has earned the right to be done with all of this!!!!
Goody, read Tsohl's response to me and insert Erin's name. Although Zac is experiencing a little more stability than Erin right now, they really have been taking turns with making us crazy! I think we both have to learn, too, what we can worry about and what we can't. For example, this morning my husband was stressing out about whether Zac actually finished his Language Arts paper. I think he did, I want to believe he did, but if he didn't, he is going to have suffer the consequences like every other student there. We have done what we can - gotten him meds, gotten him docs, given him support. If he chooses to throw some of this away, we are going to have to pull back and let him.
It is so hard because I don't want to see him falter anymore than he already has. And I don't want to let him fritter away his opportunitites. But, I can't live his life for him. Ultimately, he is going to have to find his own way and I am going to have to find mine again. This is so, so hard. I still HATE it.
I guess I'm not really re-centered yet, so Goody I need you to help even out the seesaw!
Love to all of you,
Still teetering Hope
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 02:01 PM
Hi, Hope & Tsohl ~ I am leaving the playground for a little while:D
Not that I don't like see-saws or merry-go-rounds:dizzy:
Just need to get out and re-group....my nails need to be done and I have slacked off on doing something for me. I think that will help out a little but just wanted to tell you that I will be ready to teeter totter away in a little bit.
Always here to even things out ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Not that I don't like see-saws or merry-go-rounds:dizzy:
Just need to get out and re-group....my nails need to be done and I have slacked off on doing something for me. I think that will help out a little but just wanted to tell you that I will be ready to teeter totter away in a little bit.
Always here to even things out ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 05:01 PM
.................
I am tired of all of this too...I want so much to hold onto hope and have faith that all this sacrificing will be all worth it, but I don't see much hope lately. This is almost like a life sentence for us and our kids and when will it end??....
Yup...Goody's venting too and still trying to hold onto the "hope and faith" ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody :
Well I think it's about time to take a "breather" from this "Playground"
Perhaps by just geting your nails done and during something for yourself,
the "hope and faith " concept will return.
Maybe, this concept follows : "give unto thy self,before you can give unto others"
From the original "Hope and Faith" guy :)
Carry On
Eyes
I am tired of all of this too...I want so much to hold onto hope and have faith that all this sacrificing will be all worth it, but I don't see much hope lately. This is almost like a life sentence for us and our kids and when will it end??....
Yup...Goody's venting too and still trying to hold onto the "hope and faith" ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody :
Well I think it's about time to take a "breather" from this "Playground"
Perhaps by just geting your nails done and during something for yourself,
the "hope and faith " concept will return.
Maybe, this concept follows : "give unto thy self,before you can give unto others"
From the original "Hope and Faith" guy :)
Carry On
Eyes
jules3
03-13-2007, 05:48 PM
Just because im not always posting..doesnt mean im not here..im always reading, even when i wake up at 3am and cant go back to sleep. Goody, i have to agree with ts most kids nowadays smoke pot and i would have to blame that on normal teeneage stuff. I have a 15 yr old nephew and he always tells me that his friends are experimenting now. hopefully, he sees what his cousin is going thru and he will choose to stay away from drugs.
My sons therapist told me yesterday that her opinion of my sons drug use is his low self-esteem, peer pressure and his depression. now, im always doubting, because i feel like you cant know a person in a few visits..But on the other hand she has spent numerous hours with him.
Hope, i really think zac is going to get thru this ok. whenever i read your posts about what hes up to academically i say WOW, my son would never be able to handle that stress. im amazed at what hes accomplished so far. Most of the time these kids are their own worst enemy. Do you agree?
My sons therapist told me yesterday that her opinion of my sons drug use is his low self-esteem, peer pressure and his depression. now, im always doubting, because i feel like you cant know a person in a few visits..But on the other hand she has spent numerous hours with him.
Hope, i really think zac is going to get thru this ok. whenever i read your posts about what hes up to academically i say WOW, my son would never be able to handle that stress. im amazed at what hes accomplished so far. Most of the time these kids are their own worst enemy. Do you agree?
langlee
03-13-2007, 05:56 PM
Oh yes, Jules, they are their own worst enemies for sure!
I think your son's therapist is giving you some interesting perspective. I always used to get frustrated when someone would give me an analysis of Zac when they just met him, but don't forget that she is giving you what she sees NOW and that's what he has to deal with. I think your son is going to come back from this experience with a new sense of self and a new vision for his future. At least that's what I'm hoping and praying for.
Thanks for your kind words about Zac. I hope so. Day to day I never know what his future holds. On good days I can see him having a wonderful future still. On bad days I think he'll be homeless. UGH!
Love to you always, Jules.
Hope
I think your son's therapist is giving you some interesting perspective. I always used to get frustrated when someone would give me an analysis of Zac when they just met him, but don't forget that she is giving you what she sees NOW and that's what he has to deal with. I think your son is going to come back from this experience with a new sense of self and a new vision for his future. At least that's what I'm hoping and praying for.
Thanks for your kind words about Zac. I hope so. Day to day I never know what his future holds. On good days I can see him having a wonderful future still. On bad days I think he'll be homeless. UGH!
Love to you always, Jules.
Hope
langlee
03-13-2007, 06:06 PM
Goody and Tsohl,
The two of you are so knowledgable about so many things, so I have a question. Do you know why some drug names are bleeped out by the moderators? Most are not, but it seems that at least one of the ADHD drugs appears as asteriks whenever it is mentioned. Do you have any idea why some are OK and some are not?
Just wondering,
Hope
The two of you are so knowledgable about so many things, so I have a question. Do you know why some drug names are bleeped out by the moderators? Most are not, but it seems that at least one of the ADHD drugs appears as asteriks whenever it is mentioned. Do you have any idea why some are OK and some are not?
Just wondering,
Hope
tsohl
03-13-2007, 07:18 PM
I don't know...it's weird. It also won't let you type the word bizarre--which is just an adjective and doesn't look like anything else, either. :dizzy:
tsohl
03-13-2007, 07:19 PM
Well, go figure...it just let me type it.:confused:
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 08:34 PM
Bizarre alone will not show but bizarre-- with two --'s will show up!!!:D Let's see if Goody's right;)
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 08:39 PM
Nope...but concerta won't show up but con-certa will:D Okay enough with the playground games...Goody and Mr. Goody are on our way out to the movies....to see "300".:blob_fire Erin's drug test was negative but we confornted her regarding her stash and she said it's a friend's:rolleyes:
I don't know what to believe anymore and HATE this!!
But tomorrow is another day...right??
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Will catch up with you later;) Meet me by the see-saws:D
Well golly gee, it happened again!!!
I don't know what to believe anymore and HATE this!!
But tomorrow is another day...right??
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Will catch up with you later;) Meet me by the see-saws:D
Well golly gee, it happened again!!!
tsohl
03-13-2007, 10:19 PM
So much for that theory.
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 10:31 PM
Nope...but ******** won't show up but con-certa will:D Okay enough with the playground games...Goody and Mr. Goody are on our way out to the movies....to see "300".:blob_fire Erin's drug test was negative but we confornted her regarding her stash and she said it's a friend's:rolleyes:
I don't know what to believe anymore and HATE this!!
But tomorrow is another day...right??
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Will catch up with you later;) Meet me by the see-saws:D
Well golly gee, it happened again!!!
Goody :
Well...golly gee .... have a great time at the movies.....
you really may need it :rolleyes:
however I feel that ......
I'm sure I'm the Man last out..
******** ..or con-certa is got to be the name of the "game" with all
of you guys ! :confused:
Playground games...or what ever :confused:
I'm out of here for a good long time...
my input is just not day to day enought for you guy... the Metafore Man is...
so so long.....gone.....
hope and faith ....will .........
not........ any MORE.
Carry On...................................... .......................
Eyes
I don't know what to believe anymore and HATE this!!
But tomorrow is another day...right??
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Will catch up with you later;) Meet me by the see-saws:D
Well golly gee, it happened again!!!
Goody :
Well...golly gee .... have a great time at the movies.....
you really may need it :rolleyes:
however I feel that ......
I'm sure I'm the Man last out..
******** ..or con-certa is got to be the name of the "game" with all
of you guys ! :confused:
Playground games...or what ever :confused:
I'm out of here for a good long time...
my input is just not day to day enought for you guy... the Metafore Man is...
so so long.....gone.....
hope and faith ....will .........
not........ any MORE.
Carry On...................................... .......................
Eyes
jules3
03-13-2007, 10:33 PM
Eyes is very confusing to me..:eek:
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 10:38 PM
Eyes is very confusing to me..:eek:
Well what do you expect....
I never did fit in ,,,
go back and read my POSTS..
I'M not a day to day person ...Like you guys.....:confused:
Eyes
Well what do you expect....
I never did fit in ,,,
go back and read my POSTS..
I'M not a day to day person ...Like you guys.....:confused:
Eyes
tsohl
03-13-2007, 10:48 PM
Hello,
I just past my 1000th post. I've been "talking" too much:D .
Jules ~
Are you feeling any better by tonight...or do you still have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? :confused: It takes that quite awhile to go away...but you know what? It does go away. I still get scared once in awhile, but I don't get that feeling any more.
My daughter called a bit ago. She is running a high fever and is really feeling ill. Went to health services where they did a test and told her she has "influenza." They always revert to little kids when they get sick...as you well know.
I hope you are feeling a little better. I think your son is in a good place.
Hugs,
Tsohl
I just past my 1000th post. I've been "talking" too much:D .
Jules ~
Are you feeling any better by tonight...or do you still have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? :confused: It takes that quite awhile to go away...but you know what? It does go away. I still get scared once in awhile, but I don't get that feeling any more.
My daughter called a bit ago. She is running a high fever and is really feeling ill. Went to health services where they did a test and told her she has "influenza." They always revert to little kids when they get sick...as you well know.
I hope you are feeling a little better. I think your son is in a good place.
Hugs,
Tsohl
jules3
03-13-2007, 10:53 PM
Eyes, you are right we are on a daily basis dealing with bp. My son right at the moment isnt being diagnosed as bp. we are dealing with his drug use and depression and anxiety. maybe he is bipolar, maybe not. You have great wisdom , you have been there,done that and are living a 'normal' life and thats all any of us want for our kids. you said you have a son, well, all we want is for our children to someday have families and children of their own. We want them to have stability in their lives. We can relate to one another. I have not told a single friend about any of my sons issues. I dont know what i would do without all the people on this board. Stick around, put your input to use here. we are always listening.
tsohl
03-13-2007, 10:57 PM
Jules,
Have they told you he's not bipolar?
Have they told you he's not bipolar?
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 10:58 PM
Hello,
I just past my 1000th post. I've been "talking" too much:D .
Jules ~
Are you feeling any better by tonight...or do you still have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? :confused: It takes that quite awhile to go away...but you know what? It does go away. I still get scared once in awhile, but I don't get that feeling any more.
My daughter called a bit ago. She is running a high fever and is really feeling ill. Went to health services where they did a test and told her she has "influenza." They always revert to little kids when they get sick...as you well know.
I hope you are feeling a little better. I think your son is in a good place.
Hugs,
Tsohl
Tsohl :
I always felt that you were a very "feeling' person..and still are.
you have a great insight to BPD. and the knowledge that it will always need.
Best of luck to you and your son...
your a great Mom..
Like i said to goody and julies....
I don't fit in here.....
soooo ..I'm
out of your hair tooo...
and i will not...
Carry On:p
Eyes
I just past my 1000th post. I've been "talking" too much:D .
Jules ~
Are you feeling any better by tonight...or do you still have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? :confused: It takes that quite awhile to go away...but you know what? It does go away. I still get scared once in awhile, but I don't get that feeling any more.
My daughter called a bit ago. She is running a high fever and is really feeling ill. Went to health services where they did a test and told her she has "influenza." They always revert to little kids when they get sick...as you well know.
I hope you are feeling a little better. I think your son is in a good place.
Hugs,
Tsohl
Tsohl :
I always felt that you were a very "feeling' person..and still are.
you have a great insight to BPD. and the knowledge that it will always need.
Best of luck to you and your son...
your a great Mom..
Like i said to goody and julies....
I don't fit in here.....
soooo ..I'm
out of your hair tooo...
and i will not...
Carry On:p
Eyes
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 11:05 PM
Eyes, you are right we are on a daily basis dealing with bp. My son right at the moment isnt being diagnosed as bp. we are dealing with his drug use and depression and anxiety. maybe he is bipolar, maybe not. You have great wisdom , you have been there,done that and are living a 'normal' life and thats all any of us want for our kids. you said you have a son, well, all we want is for our children to someday have families and children of their own. We want them to have stability in their lives. We can relate to one another. I have not told a single friend about any of my sons issues. I dont know what i would do without all the people on this board. Stick around, put your input to use here. we are always listening.
Thanks Jules ;
my wisdom does not fit in here..
you son will fit in ..however.
stability will find it's way ....please beleive......:) :)
I will say ...
Carry On to you ..
Eyes
Thanks Jules ;
my wisdom does not fit in here..
you son will fit in ..however.
stability will find it's way ....please beleive......:) :)
I will say ...
Carry On to you ..
Eyes
jules3
03-13-2007, 11:06 PM
Ts, i feel a little better.. i did speak to my son today for 5 minutes. He had the facility take him to a dentist for a cavity that was bothering him. He told me it felt good to get out of the "compound". That was his word not mine. He said he liked the normalcy of going to a dentist. quite a character. huh?
Today i made some phone calls, i know he needs therapy and meetings when he gets home. I didnt realize the resources that were out there for drug abuse and mental disorders. I had a 10 minute conversation today with an addiction therapist about my son he went on to tell me how drug abuse plays a part in depression,bipolar,anxiety disorders. He suggested a meeting for my husband and myself to attend. which we will next week.He told me that the drug abuse has to be dealt with first and than onto the mental illness. I know your son has been thru alot. Was he an addict? Im not even sure what defines an addict.
Today i made some phone calls, i know he needs therapy and meetings when he gets home. I didnt realize the resources that were out there for drug abuse and mental disorders. I had a 10 minute conversation today with an addiction therapist about my son he went on to tell me how drug abuse plays a part in depression,bipolar,anxiety disorders. He suggested a meeting for my husband and myself to attend. which we will next week.He told me that the drug abuse has to be dealt with first and than onto the mental illness. I know your son has been thru alot. Was he an addict? Im not even sure what defines an addict.
tsohl
03-13-2007, 11:09 PM
Hello Eyes,
Oops, we are posting at the same time and missing each other. I liked what Jules wrote to you! We moms are like a little cyber coffee klatch (SP??) sometimes, and we've been particularly silly today. The playground talk was due to the fact that we all use being on a rollercoaster as a metaphor for our experiences with our not-quite properly medicated kids...and Goody, Hope and Jules go back and forth between thinking each of their children is doing better and then there is a set-back...so sometimes we get a little crazy.
But we treasure your wisdom and experiences and would be sad if you didn't pop in with your comments...you don't have to stop by every day, but we'd miss you if you didn't stop in at all.
Carry on some more here, please.
:wave: Tsohl
Oops, we are posting at the same time and missing each other. I liked what Jules wrote to you! We moms are like a little cyber coffee klatch (SP??) sometimes, and we've been particularly silly today. The playground talk was due to the fact that we all use being on a rollercoaster as a metaphor for our experiences with our not-quite properly medicated kids...and Goody, Hope and Jules go back and forth between thinking each of their children is doing better and then there is a set-back...so sometimes we get a little crazy.
But we treasure your wisdom and experiences and would be sad if you didn't pop in with your comments...you don't have to stop by every day, but we'd miss you if you didn't stop in at all.
Carry on some more here, please.
:wave: Tsohl
jules3
03-13-2007, 11:14 PM
Ts, He was not diagnosed bp at this facility. Yesterday i told him that he needs to tell his pdoc there about his bp diagnosis and about him being on lithobid. Again, because of his age, they do not have to inform me of anything at all. I will call his therapist tomorrow. She told me yesterday that she was going to speak to his pdoc about his emotional state. It is extremely frustrating for us to be so far away. my parents will go see him this weekend and im sure they will call me as soon as they are in their car on the way home. I wonder if this is the right thing for him.. i know that his drug use was getting out of control and that needed to stop.
jules3
03-13-2007, 11:18 PM
I hope paige is alright..I absolutely love her name!:)
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 11:21 PM
Hello Eyes,
Oops, we are posting at the same time and missing each other. I liked what Jules wrote to you! We moms are like a little cyber coffee klatch (SP??) sometimes, and we've been particularly silly today. The playground talk was due to the fact that we all use being on a rollercoaster as a metaphor for our experiences with our not-quite properly medicated kids...and Goody, Hope and Jules go back and forth between thinking each of their children is doing better and then there is a set-back...so sometimes we get a little crazy.
But we treasure your wisdom and experiences and would be sad if you didn't pop in with your comments...you don't have to stop by every day, but we'd miss you if you didn't stop in at all.
Carry on some more here, please.
:wave: Tsohl
well thanks....
but I'm an old guy and I sometimes just can't keep up.
but ..then again I will consider it..
frankly, I have had stability toooo long ...to try to fit in here.
my perspective is so much different then all or your day to day problems.
Oh, I'm not trying to down play your problems...they are truly real.
I'm out of here now...
but will consider ...
to
Carry On..
Eyes
Oops, we are posting at the same time and missing each other. I liked what Jules wrote to you! We moms are like a little cyber coffee klatch (SP??) sometimes, and we've been particularly silly today. The playground talk was due to the fact that we all use being on a rollercoaster as a metaphor for our experiences with our not-quite properly medicated kids...and Goody, Hope and Jules go back and forth between thinking each of their children is doing better and then there is a set-back...so sometimes we get a little crazy.
But we treasure your wisdom and experiences and would be sad if you didn't pop in with your comments...you don't have to stop by every day, but we'd miss you if you didn't stop in at all.
Carry on some more here, please.
:wave: Tsohl
well thanks....
but I'm an old guy and I sometimes just can't keep up.
but ..then again I will consider it..
frankly, I have had stability toooo long ...to try to fit in here.
my perspective is so much different then all or your day to day problems.
Oh, I'm not trying to down play your problems...they are truly real.
I'm out of here now...
but will consider ...
to
Carry On..
Eyes
jules3
03-13-2007, 11:22 PM
Good answer, so you will reconsider. :)
tsohl
03-13-2007, 11:25 PM
Hi Jules,
I'm not sure either. I wouldn't consider my son an addict, but I believe he does. I wasn't aware he was smoking pot in high school...and to this day I don't believe it was as frequent as he says it was. I just don't see how it could have been with the schedule he had, and what all he accomplished. I have always felt he used drugs to self-medicate, rather than the other way around...since he was covering his illness from everyone. He managed it on his own for 6 years!! I do believe his drug use made it more difficult to treat his manic-depression.
In your case, I think it will be very important to have things in place so your son will not revert to his drug usage. I'm happy to answer any of your questions, if I can. I know it's late, but I have to go make dinner...then I'll be back.
:wave: Tsohl
I'm not sure either. I wouldn't consider my son an addict, but I believe he does. I wasn't aware he was smoking pot in high school...and to this day I don't believe it was as frequent as he says it was. I just don't see how it could have been with the schedule he had, and what all he accomplished. I have always felt he used drugs to self-medicate, rather than the other way around...since he was covering his illness from everyone. He managed it on his own for 6 years!! I do believe his drug use made it more difficult to treat his manic-depression.
In your case, I think it will be very important to have things in place so your son will not revert to his drug usage. I'm happy to answer any of your questions, if I can. I know it's late, but I have to go make dinner...then I'll be back.
:wave: Tsohl
tsohl
03-13-2007, 11:28 PM
Hi Eyes,
Goody will be really mad :mad: , the one night she goes out with Mr. Goody, and comes back to find you're leaving us!!
So please do reconsider. ;)
:wave: Tsohl
Goody will be really mad :mad: , the one night she goes out with Mr. Goody, and comes back to find you're leaving us!!
So please do reconsider. ;)
:wave: Tsohl
jules3
03-13-2007, 11:31 PM
Ts, dinner, wow im going to sleep..:p
EYESTWO22
03-13-2007, 11:41 PM
Hi Eyes,
Goody will be really mad :mad: , the one night she goes out with Mr. Goody, and comes back to find you're leaving us!!
So please do reconsider. ;)
:wave: Tsohl
T :
say good by to her for me..
I love her.....and all of you guys....
But it's my time.....
to bow.....
Carry On..
Eyes
Goody will be really mad :mad: , the one night she goes out with Mr. Goody, and comes back to find you're leaving us!!
So please do reconsider. ;)
:wave: Tsohl
T :
say good by to her for me..
I love her.....and all of you guys....
But it's my time.....
to bow.....
Carry On..
Eyes
goody2shuz
03-14-2007, 10:53 AM
Oh my goodness....Goody goes out for a little while and comes back to chaos!?!?!?!?:eek: What happened....there's no goodbyes allowed here, I just won't accept that!!:nono:
Eyes ~ What's up??? What's all this talk about carrying on someplace else??? If I didn't know any better I would say that you are offended or perhaps had a bad day....but that doesn't mean that you can't carry on around this board....you are the hope for many people here, you ARE needed here because you have what all of us are looking for, whether we are the one's with BP OR the one's who love them. You have STABILITY. You are the balance here, the Ying to our Yang, so to speak.;)
So....brush off your pants and carry on, my friend. There's abSOULutely no thinking about it or anything to consider...this board needs you and there is nothing else to say.
No final bows for you, my friend. Now let's all play together in this "playground" called life....anybody wanna join me??? I am off to the sandbox where everybody can play!!!:blob_fire
Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Eyes ~ What's up??? What's all this talk about carrying on someplace else??? If I didn't know any better I would say that you are offended or perhaps had a bad day....but that doesn't mean that you can't carry on around this board....you are the hope for many people here, you ARE needed here because you have what all of us are looking for, whether we are the one's with BP OR the one's who love them. You have STABILITY. You are the balance here, the Ying to our Yang, so to speak.;)
So....brush off your pants and carry on, my friend. There's abSOULutely no thinking about it or anything to consider...this board needs you and there is nothing else to say.
No final bows for you, my friend. Now let's all play together in this "playground" called life....anybody wanna join me??? I am off to the sandbox where everybody can play!!!:blob_fire
Love ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-14-2007, 11:10 AM
Hi Goody,
Mr. and Mrs. Goody are not supposed to go out for an evening. See what happens??:rolleyes:
I am supposed to say good bye to you from EYES -- (see previous post).
Have to run -- I have an appt concerning my Alzheimer's mom....:dizzy:
Later -
Tsohl
Mr. and Mrs. Goody are not supposed to go out for an evening. See what happens??:rolleyes:
I am supposed to say good bye to you from EYES -- (see previous post).
Have to run -- I have an appt concerning my Alzheimer's mom....:dizzy:
Later -
Tsohl
langlee
03-14-2007, 11:30 AM
Eyes,
I'll jump in here, too, and ask you to stay. We need the "bigger picture" thinking when we all get too drilled down into the minutia of the day to day travails. I hope you will reconsider or at least drop in from time to time. I know it's hard to catch up because so much goes on everyday, but we value your wisdom and your insight.
Always,
Hope
I'll jump in here, too, and ask you to stay. We need the "bigger picture" thinking when we all get too drilled down into the minutia of the day to day travails. I hope you will reconsider or at least drop in from time to time. I know it's hard to catch up because so much goes on everyday, but we value your wisdom and your insight.
Always,
Hope
langlee
03-14-2007, 11:36 AM
Jules,
I have always bristled against the term addict because I think the drivers are different when there is an unregulated mental illness. However, addict or abuser - it doesn't really matter - our children have chosen an unhealthy crutch which will always be in the shadows if they don't learn how to walk away.
I have always been told that they deal with substance abuse before anything else. I'm glad that you found an addiction therapist and am looking forward to hearing about your meeting.
I feel really badly about "Eyes". I hope he chooses to stay.
I love Paige's name, too, and am thinking about her daily.
Love,
Hope
I have always bristled against the term addict because I think the drivers are different when there is an unregulated mental illness. However, addict or abuser - it doesn't really matter - our children have chosen an unhealthy crutch which will always be in the shadows if they don't learn how to walk away.
I have always been told that they deal with substance abuse before anything else. I'm glad that you found an addiction therapist and am looking forward to hearing about your meeting.
I feel really badly about "Eyes". I hope he chooses to stay.
I love Paige's name, too, and am thinking about her daily.
Love,
Hope
goody2shuz
03-14-2007, 11:47 AM
I am not accepting any "goodbyes";) As far as I am concerned Eyes is only taking a little "time out" which all of us need once in a while.:angel:
As Governer Schwarzenegger often says...."I'll be back!!" and that is just what Eyes is going to do!!!:cool:
Anyway...Mr. & Mrs. Goody did go out and we met with another couple who are great friends. I have to say going out and leaving Erin was not easy....with her being yet unstable my stomach was in knots...hubby asked if I wanted to stay home but I told him that we both needed this and that it would be alright. But still I felt uneasy and prayed that God would watch over her for a little while so that we could take a breath of fresh air. And it was good. The movie was not exactly the best pic but the company was great!!
When we came home Erin was still awake....I think that she gets nervous being all alone. She did call us just before the movie started asking permission to call Kait on the phone. And that probably helped out a bit.
Anyway....the day out yesterday served it purpose...I needed that oxygen mask and to show Erin that our lives need to go on.
Yesterday when we tested her and talked about the weed she was "carrying for a friend" I stressed to her the importance of starting to take the reigns in all of this. That she KNEW that smoking pot and drinking only threw things off and could even worsten things (I reminded her of what the doctor once told us, that smoking weed could throw somebody with Bipolar into a psychosis which she hasn't experienced) and that it was time to take this all seriously and know that she had an illness that needed her full cooperation in taking care of....that like the diabetic on insulin had to watch how many sugars they took in or else suffer bad perhaps even fatal consequences, that she was in the same boat...she was on very powerful meds that could react badly with other drugs perscribed or otherwise.
Erin told me that she hasn't had a drink or used weed since October just before her Volleyball game and that she has proven over and over again with her positive drug tests that she is telling the truth. I agreed with her and told her how it was difficult for us to trust under the circumstances of finding the weed on her AND her continual lying. She went on to tell us that she was being honest with us...that April 20th was "National Weed Day" and that she was going to celebrate it by smoking....that she wouldn't take her meds that day. I told her that she had a choice to do that as I did....that if I could choose not to do that so could she and that she had even more reason than I not to participate in that bogus event!!! She insisted that she would and told us that she was being honest....and I told her that if she tested positive there would still be consequences as far as we were concerned. And we left it at that.
So....another day in Goodyland and God only knows what will be coming our way, but we are refueled and ready to take whatever comes on but pray that we have a few more days to recharge ourselves.
I agree, that Paige's hospitalization really threw me off balance...she was my ray of hope and the reality hit me that this is going to be a forever thing for us and our kids to have to go through....the ups and downs, the peaks and troughs but there is hope and perhaps Paige and our kids will be lucky enough to experience the stability that we have seen in our dear "oldie but goody" friends like Eyes & Ruth.:wave: That is my hope and I know that the two of them will continue to show us the way!!:angel: :angel:
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
As Governer Schwarzenegger often says...."I'll be back!!" and that is just what Eyes is going to do!!!:cool:
Anyway...Mr. & Mrs. Goody did go out and we met with another couple who are great friends. I have to say going out and leaving Erin was not easy....with her being yet unstable my stomach was in knots...hubby asked if I wanted to stay home but I told him that we both needed this and that it would be alright. But still I felt uneasy and prayed that God would watch over her for a little while so that we could take a breath of fresh air. And it was good. The movie was not exactly the best pic but the company was great!!
When we came home Erin was still awake....I think that she gets nervous being all alone. She did call us just before the movie started asking permission to call Kait on the phone. And that probably helped out a bit.
Anyway....the day out yesterday served it purpose...I needed that oxygen mask and to show Erin that our lives need to go on.
Yesterday when we tested her and talked about the weed she was "carrying for a friend" I stressed to her the importance of starting to take the reigns in all of this. That she KNEW that smoking pot and drinking only threw things off and could even worsten things (I reminded her of what the doctor once told us, that smoking weed could throw somebody with Bipolar into a psychosis which she hasn't experienced) and that it was time to take this all seriously and know that she had an illness that needed her full cooperation in taking care of....that like the diabetic on insulin had to watch how many sugars they took in or else suffer bad perhaps even fatal consequences, that she was in the same boat...she was on very powerful meds that could react badly with other drugs perscribed or otherwise.
Erin told me that she hasn't had a drink or used weed since October just before her Volleyball game and that she has proven over and over again with her positive drug tests that she is telling the truth. I agreed with her and told her how it was difficult for us to trust under the circumstances of finding the weed on her AND her continual lying. She went on to tell us that she was being honest with us...that April 20th was "National Weed Day" and that she was going to celebrate it by smoking....that she wouldn't take her meds that day. I told her that she had a choice to do that as I did....that if I could choose not to do that so could she and that she had even more reason than I not to participate in that bogus event!!! She insisted that she would and told us that she was being honest....and I told her that if she tested positive there would still be consequences as far as we were concerned. And we left it at that.
So....another day in Goodyland and God only knows what will be coming our way, but we are refueled and ready to take whatever comes on but pray that we have a few more days to recharge ourselves.
I agree, that Paige's hospitalization really threw me off balance...she was my ray of hope and the reality hit me that this is going to be a forever thing for us and our kids to have to go through....the ups and downs, the peaks and troughs but there is hope and perhaps Paige and our kids will be lucky enough to experience the stability that we have seen in our dear "oldie but goody" friends like Eyes & Ruth.:wave: That is my hope and I know that the two of them will continue to show us the way!!:angel: :angel:
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
langlee
03-14-2007, 12:46 PM
Good for you for going out! I am so happy that you were able to do that! I think it's important that we try to re-estabish our lives. My husband and I were just talking about the same thing.
I've been trying to figure out what has been making me so anxious and I think it's two things - one is Paige's hospitilization (and I hope when she comes back she doesn't feel guilty becasue it's not that at all - it's the fact the she comes across as SO stable and if she could be derailed, then anyone could!) and the other is that we are able to enjoy being with Zac in a way that we haven't been able to enjoy him for 4 (!) years and it scares me becasue I don't want it to end.
Zac started having emotional issues the beginning of 7th grade, although he wasn't diagnosed until 9th. Our lives have been a rollercoaster since then and the hardest part has never been knowing what the next day would look like. Even while he was still getting A's in everything, his general demeanor was volatile and he could go from being sweet and charming Zac to angry and shut-down Zac in a blink of an eye.
His good humor and his stability has been such a gift and I am basking in the joy of my son. For the first time in a really, really long time I see more of the person I remember him to be and I am loving it. But, I am so aware of the other shoe dropping at any moment and I'm afraid I won't have the emotional reserve to deal with it. But, I'm trying not to dwell on it because I don't want my anxiety to interfere with my ability to enjoy him.
I guess even when things are going well, we are always aware of what lurks in the shadows. My wish is that all of our children enjoy long-time stability like Eyes and Ruth.
Hugs,
Hope
I've been trying to figure out what has been making me so anxious and I think it's two things - one is Paige's hospitilization (and I hope when she comes back she doesn't feel guilty becasue it's not that at all - it's the fact the she comes across as SO stable and if she could be derailed, then anyone could!) and the other is that we are able to enjoy being with Zac in a way that we haven't been able to enjoy him for 4 (!) years and it scares me becasue I don't want it to end.
Zac started having emotional issues the beginning of 7th grade, although he wasn't diagnosed until 9th. Our lives have been a rollercoaster since then and the hardest part has never been knowing what the next day would look like. Even while he was still getting A's in everything, his general demeanor was volatile and he could go from being sweet and charming Zac to angry and shut-down Zac in a blink of an eye.
His good humor and his stability has been such a gift and I am basking in the joy of my son. For the first time in a really, really long time I see more of the person I remember him to be and I am loving it. But, I am so aware of the other shoe dropping at any moment and I'm afraid I won't have the emotional reserve to deal with it. But, I'm trying not to dwell on it because I don't want my anxiety to interfere with my ability to enjoy him.
I guess even when things are going well, we are always aware of what lurks in the shadows. My wish is that all of our children enjoy long-time stability like Eyes and Ruth.
Hugs,
Hope
jules3
03-14-2007, 01:13 PM
Hope, do you have other children? I dont remember you ever mentioning that. I agree what you said about the drug use. I know that my sons underlying mental issues have contributed to that. but like you said addict, abuser all the same it needs to be addressed and stopped. Than he can work on his other issues, whether bp or not.
goody2shuz
03-14-2007, 01:37 PM
Oh, Hope, it is so amazing how you seem to put down in words just exactly the way that I am feeling. Each time that Erin gets to what I feel is a "good place" there always seems to be a time that, as you so eloquently say, that the other shoe drops.:eek: It's like a tease, to us moms, to see our kids return to us and at any moment in the shadows, be taken away again. That is the most difficult part of this disorder I am sure for us as well as for our kids....the reality that everything can come out from under you at any given moment. That stinks and it is a very difficult way to live.
As if God always gives me signs and affirmations that HE is in this with me, a friend of mine shared this story with me today that helped me out and perhaps will be good for all of us here to take to heart. It also goes on to support what Eyes has taught us;) ....that optimism and the way in which we look at things or react to them is extremely important to the way things turn out. So let's open our hearts and our "eyes" to the message it gives....
[deleted]
Hoping that today is as filled with affirmations for you as it has been for me ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
As if God always gives me signs and affirmations that HE is in this with me, a friend of mine shared this story with me today that helped me out and perhaps will be good for all of us here to take to heart. It also goes on to support what Eyes has taught us;) ....that optimism and the way in which we look at things or react to them is extremely important to the way things turn out. So let's open our hearts and our "eyes" to the message it gives....
[deleted]
Hoping that today is as filled with affirmations for you as it has been for me ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
langlee
03-14-2007, 01:39 PM
No, Jules, I don't have any other children. It took us a long time to have him (we were married for almost 12 years) and from the day he was born, he was and continues to be the light of my life.
Hope
Hope
langlee
03-14-2007, 01:45 PM
Thanks for that beautiful post, Goody. I will choose to be positive today. (as opposed to the days that I'm also positive - positive that things couldn't get any worse!!!! - I'm sure that statement requires some sort of Smilies, but since I haven't been able to figure out how to use them, I'll let the multiple exclamation marks suffice)
Love,
Hope
Love,
Hope
jules3
03-14-2007, 01:56 PM
:) Ok goody i will be positive today as i go food shopping....:)
langlee
03-14-2007, 03:33 PM
Tsohl,
How is your daugther feeling?
I didn't realize your mother had Alzheimer's. You've been dealing with alot, haven't you?
Love and Hugs,
Hope
How is your daugther feeling?
I didn't realize your mother had Alzheimer's. You've been dealing with alot, haven't you?
Love and Hugs,
Hope
linlilbit
03-14-2007, 03:48 PM
:confused: Not sure what I am doing right now. I just joined the Health Board today. I have been to this site a lot and received some good info. First of all, I don't know how to post a problem or issue on the site. I need to get this out...My 15 (will be 16 in a few weeks) year old son has shown signs of bipolar disorder for a very long time. I have it and didn't know or get help until I was in my early twenties. I take Klonopin and Paxil and they help a lot to stablize my moods. The point I was getting to is that my son refuses to allow a diagnosis. Will not open up to anyone professional and refuses there is a problem, it is all everyone else's fault that he has outbursts and mood swings and depression. I would like to help him take control of his problem and get adequate help, even if it means taking meds...He knows I am on medication and has seen me in withdrawl from both of them (due to running out and not having insurance and enough money to pay for the meds). I don't know what to do. I am scared for him and his siblings. When he gets uptight, he becomes physical with his 14 yr old brother, 9 yr old sister and 7 yr old brother(7 yr old is showing symptoms as well). HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
goody2shuz
03-14-2007, 04:00 PM
Hello, Linlilbit and welcome. You are most welcome here since we are mothers who have teens the same age as your son...it is our venting thread but if you would like more individualized responses to a particular problem opening up your own thread seems to work out better.
I have been in your 2 shoes when my 15 year old daughter (14 at the time) refused to admit she had a problem because when they are in that hypomania they do not see that they have a problem. Everybody else has the problem and even if you were to get your son to a psychiatrist, if he is hypomanic he could be most convincing to others that he is quite normal and manipulate it so that he does not have a problem to treat.
The best thing to do is the most difficult thing to do....next time he is threatening or actually hurting somebody else or himself you bring him to the nearest ER that has an adolescent psych unit and ask for him to be evaluated. You only have a window of opportunity to help your son and it is NOW. Once he is 18 everything will be out of your hands....so you MUST act aggressively if you are to get the help that you need for your son.
If he will not allow you to bring him to the hospital call 911 and get the police over and they wil bring him in to the hospital. Think of it as saving your son' life, because if he has BP and is not treated things are going to get alot worse.
We are here for you...please feel free to come here anytime you like. It isn't an easy road but it sure is easier when you have others walking beside you.;)
((((HUGS)))) because I am the one who gives them out ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
I have been in your 2 shoes when my 15 year old daughter (14 at the time) refused to admit she had a problem because when they are in that hypomania they do not see that they have a problem. Everybody else has the problem and even if you were to get your son to a psychiatrist, if he is hypomanic he could be most convincing to others that he is quite normal and manipulate it so that he does not have a problem to treat.
The best thing to do is the most difficult thing to do....next time he is threatening or actually hurting somebody else or himself you bring him to the nearest ER that has an adolescent psych unit and ask for him to be evaluated. You only have a window of opportunity to help your son and it is NOW. Once he is 18 everything will be out of your hands....so you MUST act aggressively if you are to get the help that you need for your son.
If he will not allow you to bring him to the hospital call 911 and get the police over and they wil bring him in to the hospital. Think of it as saving your son' life, because if he has BP and is not treated things are going to get alot worse.
We are here for you...please feel free to come here anytime you like. It isn't an easy road but it sure is easier when you have others walking beside you.;)
((((HUGS)))) because I am the one who gives them out ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-14-2007, 04:10 PM
Hello Hope ~
In a word, yes. The thing was that everything kind of happened at once. My father died suddenly (woke up, started to get out of bed, looked at my mom, fell back on the bed and was gone) and my mom has never recovered from the shock. She had been a little forgetful prior to this, but my dad's death just put her over the edge and she's never come back. She knew enough to call 911 but she said "There's a dead man in the bed next to me."
When asked who it was, she responded she had NO IDEA.:dizzy: This call not only brought fire engines, the county sheriff and some squad cars,(they lived in a gated community) but the Protective Services guy, too. And we had gone to Chicago for the day to the Art Institute, so no one could get in touch with us, as no one had the cell number. I'm an only child so I spent the next 3 months in Florida with my mom trying to figure out what to do with her. At the same time we had just found out about the bipolar diagnosis...so it was not a good time.:rolleyes:
But then you went through much worse...I'm not really complaining. I always think of the old Chinese blessing: "May you live in interesting times."
Let's see--daughter...a tad better. She is still running a high fever and they put her on tamaflu. She feels terrible and sounds "little." She doesn't want to miss any school since it is her final semester. She was supposed to make a presentation yesterday in her photo class which only meets once x week...so she missed that.
And it looks like our day and a half of Spring is over.:mad: It is clouding up but it is too warm for snow at the moment -- maybe sleet though??
So, that's it for now....
Cheers,
Tsohl
In a word, yes. The thing was that everything kind of happened at once. My father died suddenly (woke up, started to get out of bed, looked at my mom, fell back on the bed and was gone) and my mom has never recovered from the shock. She had been a little forgetful prior to this, but my dad's death just put her over the edge and she's never come back. She knew enough to call 911 but she said "There's a dead man in the bed next to me."
When asked who it was, she responded she had NO IDEA.:dizzy: This call not only brought fire engines, the county sheriff and some squad cars,(they lived in a gated community) but the Protective Services guy, too. And we had gone to Chicago for the day to the Art Institute, so no one could get in touch with us, as no one had the cell number. I'm an only child so I spent the next 3 months in Florida with my mom trying to figure out what to do with her. At the same time we had just found out about the bipolar diagnosis...so it was not a good time.:rolleyes:
But then you went through much worse...I'm not really complaining. I always think of the old Chinese blessing: "May you live in interesting times."
Let's see--daughter...a tad better. She is still running a high fever and they put her on tamaflu. She feels terrible and sounds "little." She doesn't want to miss any school since it is her final semester. She was supposed to make a presentation yesterday in her photo class which only meets once x week...so she missed that.
And it looks like our day and a half of Spring is over.:mad: It is clouding up but it is too warm for snow at the moment -- maybe sleet though??
So, that's it for now....
Cheers,
Tsohl
jules3
03-14-2007, 05:31 PM
Wow, ts, it sounds like your mom had a huge shock from your dads death and cant recover. Did she get an official alzheimer diagnosis or dementia? I know their are some good medications out there to slow the disesase down a bit. aricept and namenda are just a couple of them. Im sure she is on something. how old is she?
langlee
03-14-2007, 05:41 PM
Tsohl,
"May you live in interesting times"! Ah, yes! I've heard that before. The other one is "That which does not kill you makes you stronger". In any event, while we're going through it, the proverbs don't really help, do they?
The human brain is a complex organ. Not unlike the severe responses to emotional triggers in BP, it sounds like the trauma of your dad's death sent your mother's neurotransmitters into a frenzy! I am so sorry to hear that and that she hasn't really recovered. When did all of this happen? How is she now?
Today would have been my father's 90th birthday. I can't even imagine what he would have looked like or been like. He died from a massive heart attack at age 66 so we never knew him as an elderly man. Full of life, brilliant, extroverted until the day he died. One of my great sorrows is that he never knew Zac. They have many similar traits and my father would have been thrilled to know that Zac is a voracious reader, as was he. My father died pre-Internet, but he would have loved to have so much instant information at his fingertips!
I hope your daughter feels better soon. It's crummy to be sick and not have Mom to dote on her!
Love,
Hope
"May you live in interesting times"! Ah, yes! I've heard that before. The other one is "That which does not kill you makes you stronger". In any event, while we're going through it, the proverbs don't really help, do they?
The human brain is a complex organ. Not unlike the severe responses to emotional triggers in BP, it sounds like the trauma of your dad's death sent your mother's neurotransmitters into a frenzy! I am so sorry to hear that and that she hasn't really recovered. When did all of this happen? How is she now?
Today would have been my father's 90th birthday. I can't even imagine what he would have looked like or been like. He died from a massive heart attack at age 66 so we never knew him as an elderly man. Full of life, brilliant, extroverted until the day he died. One of my great sorrows is that he never knew Zac. They have many similar traits and my father would have been thrilled to know that Zac is a voracious reader, as was he. My father died pre-Internet, but he would have loved to have so much instant information at his fingertips!
I hope your daughter feels better soon. It's crummy to be sick and not have Mom to dote on her!
Love,
Hope
langlee
03-14-2007, 05:46 PM
Welcome, Linlibit! I think we can all relate to teenagers or young adults who don't want to admit they have a probelm. Our friend, Jules, has been going through that most recently with her 20 year old son, but we have all been there.
Goody's advice was wonderful, as always. Another thing you may want to consider is charting his moods day to day so he can see in black and white what you are referring to. No one wants to admit they have a problem and it is certainly easier to blame everyone else, but the aggression in unregulated BP, especially in teens and young adults, can be damaging in many ways. You can assure him that others have walked in his shoes, but with the right medications their lives are immeasurably better.
Good luck and keep posting. We're here for you.
Always,
Hope
Goody's advice was wonderful, as always. Another thing you may want to consider is charting his moods day to day so he can see in black and white what you are referring to. No one wants to admit they have a problem and it is certainly easier to blame everyone else, but the aggression in unregulated BP, especially in teens and young adults, can be damaging in many ways. You can assure him that others have walked in his shoes, but with the right medications their lives are immeasurably better.
Good luck and keep posting. We're here for you.
Always,
Hope
Xant
03-14-2007, 05:57 PM
Hi there, I have made a few posts about my son. He has a psychosis that appears to have been drug induced...he has delusions, he sees people that arent there and thoughts that wont go out of his mind. This has now been going on for 3 weeks and he is still in hospital. (The doc says if you are prone to getting a mental illness of this kind, drugs can kick start it, and he had taken speed and pot before this happened).
I would like to know if you guys think he has BP, SZ or a mixture of both??
He lives in a different country and Im flying out to see him on Saturday, so I can only describe what he's like when I talk to him on the phone.
I never know how Im going to find him when I call him. One day he will be very badly depressed, crying, saying he doesnt see any point in it all...the next day he will be, what looks like to me, manic, making plans for the future, completely on an up about everything, laughing (too much)...along with all this he still has these thoughts that he has been cloned, that he's in touch with aliens etc etc.
I dont know what to make of it all...I will be able to speak to his doc when I visit him (they wont tell me anything over the phone)...but I was wondering what you guys think is actually worng with him? Thanks for the advice and I pity all of you going through this, it really is awful when your kid has something like this:(
I would like to know if you guys think he has BP, SZ or a mixture of both??
He lives in a different country and Im flying out to see him on Saturday, so I can only describe what he's like when I talk to him on the phone.
I never know how Im going to find him when I call him. One day he will be very badly depressed, crying, saying he doesnt see any point in it all...the next day he will be, what looks like to me, manic, making plans for the future, completely on an up about everything, laughing (too much)...along with all this he still has these thoughts that he has been cloned, that he's in touch with aliens etc etc.
I dont know what to make of it all...I will be able to speak to his doc when I visit him (they wont tell me anything over the phone)...but I was wondering what you guys think is actually worng with him? Thanks for the advice and I pity all of you going through this, it really is awful when your kid has something like this:(
langlee
03-14-2007, 06:02 PM
Wow, it certainly sounds like a mixture of both, but the drugs can do awful things and may be mirroring symptoms. I imagine you'll have a much better idea once the drugs are completely out of his system. How long has he been experiencing the shifts in moods and the psychotic thoughts?
Please let us know what you find out. We are here for you.
Hope
Please let us know what you find out. We are here for you.
Hope
tsohl
03-14-2007, 06:10 PM
Hi Guys,
My mom is 89, is on both aricept and namenda, and no, I never had an "official" work-up for the diagnosis of Alzheimers. My internist, who is a geriatric specialist told me it was kind of irrelevant at her age...why put her through all the testing when the results were pretty much the same...regardless of what you call it, she now recalls almost nothing of her past, and knows nothing about the present like who the president is, what the date is, what the year is, etc. It is another pretty horrendous disease!!
I guess this is why I didn't get more involved with son's diagnosis of BP when I found out about it. I was trying to figure out what to do with my mom who couldn't live on her own; then I had to find a place for her to live, eventually had to sell the rather large home and its contents, relocate my mom to be closer to me, etc....I look back on it all and marvel how I got through it all. One year I spent more months in Florida than here at home....Oh, my dad died a month after 9/11...two days after my birthday.:eek: But, enough about me.
Jules ~ does your daughter having some decisions to make regarding colleges?
That is always a stressful time -- whether you get in and then where will you go?
Take care, friends.
Tsohl
My mom is 89, is on both aricept and namenda, and no, I never had an "official" work-up for the diagnosis of Alzheimers. My internist, who is a geriatric specialist told me it was kind of irrelevant at her age...why put her through all the testing when the results were pretty much the same...regardless of what you call it, she now recalls almost nothing of her past, and knows nothing about the present like who the president is, what the date is, what the year is, etc. It is another pretty horrendous disease!!
I guess this is why I didn't get more involved with son's diagnosis of BP when I found out about it. I was trying to figure out what to do with my mom who couldn't live on her own; then I had to find a place for her to live, eventually had to sell the rather large home and its contents, relocate my mom to be closer to me, etc....I look back on it all and marvel how I got through it all. One year I spent more months in Florida than here at home....Oh, my dad died a month after 9/11...two days after my birthday.:eek: But, enough about me.
Jules ~ does your daughter having some decisions to make regarding colleges?
That is always a stressful time -- whether you get in and then where will you go?
Take care, friends.
Tsohl
Xant
03-14-2007, 06:31 PM
Thanks for the reply Hopealways. I would say he has been having these symptoms for about 6 weeks now, he has been drug free (due to being in the hospital) for 3 weeks. He lives near his dad, who was hopeless and didnt notice anything was wrong, even though I did, over the phone, 800 miles away:confused: I had to make an appointment with a psych for him from this country as his dad wasnt capable...I called a friend and she took him there...he was too scared to go as 'people outside were waiting to kill him.'
It really is heartbreaking when hes on a downer and pleading with me to help him, and I cant even give him a hug :(
Is it possible to have BP and SZ at the same time?
It really is heartbreaking when hes on a downer and pleading with me to help him, and I cant even give him a hug :(
Is it possible to have BP and SZ at the same time?
langlee
03-14-2007, 06:47 PM
I would imagine so, Xant. I'm glad to see you are posting on the Schizophrenia board, too. Perhaps between the people on both boards you will get some answers.
I'm hoping Tsohl sees this, too. She is very knowledgable about BP and the brain and she might have some insight.
It is so difficult to see our children struggle and this must be especially hard for you, between the symptoms and the distance. Please know we are here for you to support you, even if we don't have the answers!
Love,
Hope
I'm hoping Tsohl sees this, too. She is very knowledgable about BP and the brain and she might have some insight.
It is so difficult to see our children struggle and this must be especially hard for you, between the symptoms and the distance. Please know we are here for you to support you, even if we don't have the answers!
Love,
Hope
jules3
03-14-2007, 07:01 PM
Xant, i hear you and i have to tell you that my son sounds kinda like yours. Drugs can do horrible things to your brain. especially speed. Maybe his delusions are from his drug use. sounds far fetched but its really not..drugs destroy brain cells. I spoke to my son today while he sounds really good and i can tell that hes progressing i definitly noticed that hes forgetful. scary huh? stay here on this board it will help you out like its helped me.
Ts, youa re right about your mom whether or not its alzheimers or dementia its all the same horrible disease and its treated the same way.
my daughter got accepted into the school in nyc, when she applied we told her that it was out of our league financially but she can try anyway. so now shes accepted with no scholarship money and we cant send her. sadly for her we wasted alot of money on my son and cant afford 40grand a year for her ..I feel horrible but she needs to understand, she was accepted into all the schools she applied to and got scholarship money to 3 of them.
Connecticut was the furthest away. my kids are sort of homebodies and like to stay close.
Ts, youa re right about your mom whether or not its alzheimers or dementia its all the same horrible disease and its treated the same way.
my daughter got accepted into the school in nyc, when she applied we told her that it was out of our league financially but she can try anyway. so now shes accepted with no scholarship money and we cant send her. sadly for her we wasted alot of money on my son and cant afford 40grand a year for her ..I feel horrible but she needs to understand, she was accepted into all the schools she applied to and got scholarship money to 3 of them.
Connecticut was the furthest away. my kids are sort of homebodies and like to stay close.
linlilbit
03-14-2007, 09:59 PM
:angel: You're my angel for the day Goody and Hope: and possibly the rest of my son's life!!! Thank you for your ideas and advice, Goody!
:wave: :confused: How do I post my own thread?
:wave: :confused: How do I post my own thread?
linlilbit
03-14-2007, 10:18 PM
Welcome, Linlibit! I think we can all relate to teenagers or young adults who don't want to admit they have a probelm. Our friend, Jules, has been going through that most recently with her 20 year old son, but we have all been there.
Goody's advice was wonderful, as always. Another thing you may want to consider is charting his moods day to day so he can see in black and white what you are referring to. No one wants to admit they have a problem and it is certainly easier to blame everyone else, but the aggression in unregulated BP, especially in teens and young adults, can be damaging in many ways. You can assure him that others have walked in his shoes, but with the right medications their lives are immeasurably better.
Good luck and keep posting. We're here for you.
Always,
Hope Thank you, Hope, and to all of you struggling as I am. I can see that this is the place for me to receive insight and hope in my children's futures!!! May God Bless You All!!! Thanks again!! - Linlilbit
Goody's advice was wonderful, as always. Another thing you may want to consider is charting his moods day to day so he can see in black and white what you are referring to. No one wants to admit they have a problem and it is certainly easier to blame everyone else, but the aggression in unregulated BP, especially in teens and young adults, can be damaging in many ways. You can assure him that others have walked in his shoes, but with the right medications their lives are immeasurably better.
Good luck and keep posting. We're here for you.
Always,
Hope Thank you, Hope, and to all of you struggling as I am. I can see that this is the place for me to receive insight and hope in my children's futures!!! May God Bless You All!!! Thanks again!! - Linlilbit
EYESTWO22
03-14-2007, 10:32 PM
I am not accepting any "goodbyes";) As far as I am concerned Eyes is only taking a little "time out" which all of us need once in a while.:angel: ......
So....another day in Goodyland and God only knows what will be come........................
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody .....And all you Ladies on this thread....
Well..Goody read it right again ...."I'll be bacK" and I Am :)
However, there was a reason why I was thinking of leaving.
I will say I'm sorry for my possible over reactions the other night.
But sometimes it is needed ..(As they say..to vent).
Like I say there is a reson for it. And I will share it in a New Thread.
Oh. I'm not trying to put all of you off...
on this post.
I have to think about the content of this New Thread.
Just a side light..related to the New Thread...
Goody ..You are (to me) the most amazing person on this Board. Sometimes,
I think you have two brains. One in your head, and one in your fingers. When you post ...you seem to think with your fingers. And Tsohl,Jules,Hope are right behind you ;) I can not keep up with you guys. And maybe that was why I vented out....
I really thank all of you on this Thread for knowing where I seem to fit in..
I know now that you don't expect me to "think with my fingers" as you Ladies can so well.:D
So....this is a little of the "side light "to my New Thread...
Sorry to keep you all ...Hanging.:p
Oh... By the way.....I am expecting a lot of "insight" and "obervation "to the content of my New Thread.
Goody....I know you will lead the Troups :dizzy:
I will......
Carry On
Eyes
So....another day in Goodyland and God only knows what will be come........................
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody .....And all you Ladies on this thread....
Well..Goody read it right again ...."I'll be bacK" and I Am :)
However, there was a reason why I was thinking of leaving.
I will say I'm sorry for my possible over reactions the other night.
But sometimes it is needed ..(As they say..to vent).
Like I say there is a reson for it. And I will share it in a New Thread.
Oh. I'm not trying to put all of you off...
on this post.
I have to think about the content of this New Thread.
Just a side light..related to the New Thread...
Goody ..You are (to me) the most amazing person on this Board. Sometimes,
I think you have two brains. One in your head, and one in your fingers. When you post ...you seem to think with your fingers. And Tsohl,Jules,Hope are right behind you ;) I can not keep up with you guys. And maybe that was why I vented out....
I really thank all of you on this Thread for knowing where I seem to fit in..
I know now that you don't expect me to "think with my fingers" as you Ladies can so well.:D
So....this is a little of the "side light "to my New Thread...
Sorry to keep you all ...Hanging.:p
Oh... By the way.....I am expecting a lot of "insight" and "obervation "to the content of my New Thread.
Goody....I know you will lead the Troups :dizzy:
I will......
Carry On
Eyes
emeraldeyes114
03-14-2007, 10:55 PM
:wave: EYES I am glad you are staying. Sometimes and it is not necessarily here what I mean and type are two different things. I never say things to offend someone but somehow they can be taken that way. I think you are very wise and give what you insight that you see. There are many on this board who are very much the same way. Glad you are staying.
So back to the thread. THe blow up between the son, his grandma, and I is over. His grandma and I straightened out a lot of things and are beginning to see the joys of manipulation that Bipolar teens can do. So it is a step in the right direction and a few things she didn't know are now known. Another really big step for both of us.
My son who is the beat of this woman's heart and so much more finally said he wanted a relationship and that we need to find common ground to start. I cried with joy at reading those words. I never thought I would see the day really that he would say that. So YIP-PEE! So things now that things have been cleared up are better then before even.
Emerald :angel:
So back to the thread. THe blow up between the son, his grandma, and I is over. His grandma and I straightened out a lot of things and are beginning to see the joys of manipulation that Bipolar teens can do. So it is a step in the right direction and a few things she didn't know are now known. Another really big step for both of us.
My son who is the beat of this woman's heart and so much more finally said he wanted a relationship and that we need to find common ground to start. I cried with joy at reading those words. I never thought I would see the day really that he would say that. So YIP-PEE! So things now that things have been cleared up are better then before even.
Emerald :angel:
jules3
03-14-2007, 11:08 PM
Eyes, i am so bad at thinking with my fingers.it s extremely hard for me. im much better on the phone or in person..ts, goody and hope seem to be able to just whip out the words. its hard for me. anyway, im waiting for your new thread...:dizzy:
goody2shuz
03-14-2007, 11:39 PM
You're my angel for the day Goody and Hope: and possibly the rest of my son's life!!! Thank you for your ideas and advice, Goody!
:confused: How do I post my own thread?
Linlilbit ~ When you get to the Bipolar Board at the top left hand corner there is a tab that says "New Thread". Click on that and decide on a title and then type away!!:D And thanks for the kind words, I am only happy to be able to give back some of what I get here.:angel:
Eyes ~ Oh dear, Eyes....thanks for coming back...I was concerned about what may have happened....your post certainly showed me that something had happened that had you feeling that way.
Just a side light..related to the New Thread...
Goody ..You are (to me) the most amazing person on this Board. Sometimes,
I think you have two brains. One in your head, and one in your fingers. When you post ...you seem to think with your fingers. You have me wondering....is it my posts and the length of them??? We all know that sometimes I get carried away...I really don't mean to it just happens. And when I click "submit" and see it I say to myself...."ooops I did it again!!":p But that's just me!!!:D I sometimes get on to post and the fingers do start generating what is going from the heart and soul almost as if a catharsis is taking place that is both self healing and at the same time a need to help others. Difficult to explain but perhaps with your username being "Eyestwo22" there is something that is behind that which makes my posts seem overwhelming????:confused: I guess I am really looking forward to your new thread so that we can all better understand.;) So, I too, will be looking forward to your new thread!!
Oh and Emerald....I am sooo happy to hear your good news!!!:blob_fire That is a wonderful door opened to you....now take it easy that you don't go rushing in.....go slowly letting your son know that you are there for him. Things will fall into place but remember....do not take anything too personally. Until he gets the help that he needs he will do and say things that are part of the disorder and it's effects on the brain's center for emotions and thought processes.
When I read your post my heart warmed up for I know how long you have been waiting for this day. Know that Goody is celebrating in your joy.
I must tell you, that this thread has swarmed with new posters that I overlooked the details of the falling out between grandma...I know that your son and you were having problems and from past posts, the grandparents have your son and stood in the way of your seeing him. Please forgive me if I don't have the details right....I just am sooo glad that you and your son are back to having a relationship again. As a mom, I couldn't even imagine the pain there was in that for you!!
And finally, a BIG welcome to Xant....I will need to catch up with you too but just wanted to welcome you here.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
:confused: How do I post my own thread?
Linlilbit ~ When you get to the Bipolar Board at the top left hand corner there is a tab that says "New Thread". Click on that and decide on a title and then type away!!:D And thanks for the kind words, I am only happy to be able to give back some of what I get here.:angel:
Eyes ~ Oh dear, Eyes....thanks for coming back...I was concerned about what may have happened....your post certainly showed me that something had happened that had you feeling that way.
Just a side light..related to the New Thread...
Goody ..You are (to me) the most amazing person on this Board. Sometimes,
I think you have two brains. One in your head, and one in your fingers. When you post ...you seem to think with your fingers. You have me wondering....is it my posts and the length of them??? We all know that sometimes I get carried away...I really don't mean to it just happens. And when I click "submit" and see it I say to myself...."ooops I did it again!!":p But that's just me!!!:D I sometimes get on to post and the fingers do start generating what is going from the heart and soul almost as if a catharsis is taking place that is both self healing and at the same time a need to help others. Difficult to explain but perhaps with your username being "Eyestwo22" there is something that is behind that which makes my posts seem overwhelming????:confused: I guess I am really looking forward to your new thread so that we can all better understand.;) So, I too, will be looking forward to your new thread!!
Oh and Emerald....I am sooo happy to hear your good news!!!:blob_fire That is a wonderful door opened to you....now take it easy that you don't go rushing in.....go slowly letting your son know that you are there for him. Things will fall into place but remember....do not take anything too personally. Until he gets the help that he needs he will do and say things that are part of the disorder and it's effects on the brain's center for emotions and thought processes.
When I read your post my heart warmed up for I know how long you have been waiting for this day. Know that Goody is celebrating in your joy.
I must tell you, that this thread has swarmed with new posters that I overlooked the details of the falling out between grandma...I know that your son and you were having problems and from past posts, the grandparents have your son and stood in the way of your seeing him. Please forgive me if I don't have the details right....I just am sooo glad that you and your son are back to having a relationship again. As a mom, I couldn't even imagine the pain there was in that for you!!
And finally, a BIG welcome to Xant....I will need to catch up with you too but just wanted to welcome you here.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-15-2007, 01:15 AM
Xant,
Hope gives me more credit than is due...but I'll tell you what I know. First, I am very sorry for all you and your son have been through. I would like more information, but I don't think you know the details I would like to know....
The fact that your son has been drug-free for 3 weeks and is still paranoid and delusional is not a good sign. It sounds like he is in a drug-induced psychosis. There is some silly "rule" that states if after going off the illicit drugs the person is still feeling these things after six months, it is schizophrenia. If you read through case histories of schizophrenics, you will be amazed at how many people report believing someone is coming to get them, or some of the things you mentioned in your earlier post.
I have a 25-year old son who has been clean and sober for more than 2 years. He was diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar 1. It took ages to find the right combination of meds, but he has now been stable and healthy for over two years. Prior to checking himself into a private mental hospital he was heavily into drugs. The day before he went in, he was psychotic...and I don't know for how long before that he might have been psychotic. But as soon as the drugs cleared his system, all those symptoms went away and they have not returned.
You can be bipolar and have schizo-affective tendencies. It is my understanding that you cannot be bipolar and schizophrenic at the same time -- they share many symptoms in common but bipolars' moods will respond to lithium, whereas this is not usually the case with schizophrenics.
Hope this helps a little. I hope you will be able to talk with his doctors soon to find out what is going on. I will be praying that your son makes a complete recovery...and that your ex gets struck by lightning, or something equally appropriate.
Take care,
Tsohl
Hope gives me more credit than is due...but I'll tell you what I know. First, I am very sorry for all you and your son have been through. I would like more information, but I don't think you know the details I would like to know....
The fact that your son has been drug-free for 3 weeks and is still paranoid and delusional is not a good sign. It sounds like he is in a drug-induced psychosis. There is some silly "rule" that states if after going off the illicit drugs the person is still feeling these things after six months, it is schizophrenia. If you read through case histories of schizophrenics, you will be amazed at how many people report believing someone is coming to get them, or some of the things you mentioned in your earlier post.
I have a 25-year old son who has been clean and sober for more than 2 years. He was diagnosed rapid cycling bipolar 1. It took ages to find the right combination of meds, but he has now been stable and healthy for over two years. Prior to checking himself into a private mental hospital he was heavily into drugs. The day before he went in, he was psychotic...and I don't know for how long before that he might have been psychotic. But as soon as the drugs cleared his system, all those symptoms went away and they have not returned.
You can be bipolar and have schizo-affective tendencies. It is my understanding that you cannot be bipolar and schizophrenic at the same time -- they share many symptoms in common but bipolars' moods will respond to lithium, whereas this is not usually the case with schizophrenics.
Hope this helps a little. I hope you will be able to talk with his doctors soon to find out what is going on. I will be praying that your son makes a complete recovery...and that your ex gets struck by lightning, or something equally appropriate.
Take care,
Tsohl
Xant
03-15-2007, 03:46 AM
Thank you so much for the replies everyone, you are all so wonderful here.
I have been doing quite a lot of reading so I can arm myself with questions for the doctors when I get there.
I didnt know that those with Bi Polar could also be psychotic. It seems that some people are at first mis diagnosed as having SZ because of the first psychotic episode and that if they are put on drugs for SZ and they are BP, it can make things a lot worse and cause rapid cycling. I will ask the doc what he thinks about this and see what he says...I know they are the experts, but, as I am sure you all know, no one can be a stronger advocate for their child than the parents, so I will be pushing for some answers.
I would love for him to come here so I could help look after him, but I know that isn't in his best interest at the moment..when he is down, he will also ask if he can come and I have to tell him that if he still wants to come over when he is healthier, that he can, but since he is still acute and in treatment, it isn't a viable option at the moment..although part of me just wants to fly over and grab him and bring him home with me!
Tshol, my ex being struck by lighting is pretty mild considering some of the things I have wished upon him ;)
I have been doing quite a lot of reading so I can arm myself with questions for the doctors when I get there.
I didnt know that those with Bi Polar could also be psychotic. It seems that some people are at first mis diagnosed as having SZ because of the first psychotic episode and that if they are put on drugs for SZ and they are BP, it can make things a lot worse and cause rapid cycling. I will ask the doc what he thinks about this and see what he says...I know they are the experts, but, as I am sure you all know, no one can be a stronger advocate for their child than the parents, so I will be pushing for some answers.
I would love for him to come here so I could help look after him, but I know that isn't in his best interest at the moment..when he is down, he will also ask if he can come and I have to tell him that if he still wants to come over when he is healthier, that he can, but since he is still acute and in treatment, it isn't a viable option at the moment..although part of me just wants to fly over and grab him and bring him home with me!
Tshol, my ex being struck by lighting is pretty mild considering some of the things I have wished upon him ;)
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 08:50 AM
Dear Xant ~ Tsohl has given you wonderful advice as has Jules & Hope. I am so sorry that your son is going through all of this and at quite a distance from you. As a mother this must be the hardest thing for you being in another country and only having the phone to do anything with. I am so surprised that the doctor won't talk to you by phone....my daughter had been hospitalized 4 times and the doctors always spoke to me by phone....that is horrendous that they do not have a heart to know how difficult this all must be for you. Unless.....your son is older than 18....I don't think that you mentioned his age here so that is the only reason that I could think of. If this is so, if possible, I would suggest you see if you can talk your son into signing some type of consent that he is giving permission to the doctors to discuss anything that is going on with him with you. Hang in there and know that we are here for you. Sounds as if you are already doing as a mother does in preparing yourself to help your son. We will certainly be with you in thought and prayer as you leave on Saturday to go see your son. Is he in the states???
Tsohl ~ You are truly an amazing woman....when I read your last few posts and took a peek at what you have gone through the past few years it is abSOULutely amazing. I just read a quote this morning that so perfectly describes it...."It isn't the load we carry, it's how we carry it!" And Tsohl....you have carried it well with dignity and strength.;)
Linlilbit ~ I see that you are a fellow Nyer. AS an afterthought I thought that you could somehow explain to your son how things could be better for him and you are going to do everything you can as his mom to make sure they are. Give him hope. Also...you made mention that you had stopped your meds due to lack of insurance money. Get in touch with pparx.org who will assist you if that were ever to happen again.....are you on meds now???
Also...you should also look into a service for children who reside in NY State called Child Health Plus which most Mental Health professionals accept. It depends on income as to whether it is a free service and you can still get coverage for your child at a much lower premium than any other insurance.
I hope this helps out.
Jules ~ Looks as if you are doing okay....you are sounding stronger everyday. It is a difficult time, I am sure for your daughter as well trying to decide upon which college to go to. What is she interested in pursuing??? And Conneticut wouldn't be too far away....my niece goes to Central Conneticut and is also a homebody but is able to get home most weekends. Afterall, it can be only a bus ride and ferry away!! Will your daughter be living at home??? IT's an exciting time and also a stressful time and that's alot to have going on at one time. The same thing was happening to me...when things were at their worst with Erin, Kait was finishing up her Senior year of High School out of state and having her own problems. And when Erin was last hospitalized for 10 weeks, it was our last summer with Kait....Erin was discharged the same weekend we were moving Kait into college.:eek: But we did it and you will too. Take this time to focus somewhat on your daughter....she needs it as I am sure that you do too. Take a few trips to see each of the schools she got into and see what happens.
Eyes ~ We are all eagerly awaiting that NEW Thread of yours....
Erin and I had a good day yesterday....she had her annual physical and I took her to the mall to buy a few new shirts. She played volleyball with her Youth Group at our church which she really enjoyed. Seems that she is much less irritable and even gave me several hugs and kisses that were totally unexpected and a back massage for walking through the mall and the toll it took on me. It has been a few good days here and that is truly a blessing.;)
(((HUGS))) for everyone ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Tsohl ~ You are truly an amazing woman....when I read your last few posts and took a peek at what you have gone through the past few years it is abSOULutely amazing. I just read a quote this morning that so perfectly describes it...."It isn't the load we carry, it's how we carry it!" And Tsohl....you have carried it well with dignity and strength.;)
Linlilbit ~ I see that you are a fellow Nyer. AS an afterthought I thought that you could somehow explain to your son how things could be better for him and you are going to do everything you can as his mom to make sure they are. Give him hope. Also...you made mention that you had stopped your meds due to lack of insurance money. Get in touch with pparx.org who will assist you if that were ever to happen again.....are you on meds now???
Also...you should also look into a service for children who reside in NY State called Child Health Plus which most Mental Health professionals accept. It depends on income as to whether it is a free service and you can still get coverage for your child at a much lower premium than any other insurance.
I hope this helps out.
Jules ~ Looks as if you are doing okay....you are sounding stronger everyday. It is a difficult time, I am sure for your daughter as well trying to decide upon which college to go to. What is she interested in pursuing??? And Conneticut wouldn't be too far away....my niece goes to Central Conneticut and is also a homebody but is able to get home most weekends. Afterall, it can be only a bus ride and ferry away!! Will your daughter be living at home??? IT's an exciting time and also a stressful time and that's alot to have going on at one time. The same thing was happening to me...when things were at their worst with Erin, Kait was finishing up her Senior year of High School out of state and having her own problems. And when Erin was last hospitalized for 10 weeks, it was our last summer with Kait....Erin was discharged the same weekend we were moving Kait into college.:eek: But we did it and you will too. Take this time to focus somewhat on your daughter....she needs it as I am sure that you do too. Take a few trips to see each of the schools she got into and see what happens.
Eyes ~ We are all eagerly awaiting that NEW Thread of yours....
Erin and I had a good day yesterday....she had her annual physical and I took her to the mall to buy a few new shirts. She played volleyball with her Youth Group at our church which she really enjoyed. Seems that she is much less irritable and even gave me several hugs and kisses that were totally unexpected and a back massage for walking through the mall and the toll it took on me. It has been a few good days here and that is truly a blessing.;)
(((HUGS))) for everyone ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
jules3
03-15-2007, 09:00 AM
Thanks goody, erin sounds happy.. thats good. we did see all the schools she applied to. she will board and has no idea what she wants to do with her life, maybe teach. shes not sure. she might pick a small catholic college not too far away. like an hour. or she might pick a state school about 4 hrs away.. we shall see! Shes pouting now so i need to give her some time.:rolleyes:
EYESTWO22
03-15-2007, 09:04 AM
Goody :
The new Thread is coming shortly.
Just trying to gather more data.
Oh, it will not pertain to your "thinking fingers";)
And by the way..EYESTWO22...is what I did for 33 years...( my profession).
Carry On..
Eyes
The new Thread is coming shortly.
Just trying to gather more data.
Oh, it will not pertain to your "thinking fingers";)
And by the way..EYESTWO22...is what I did for 33 years...( my profession).
Carry On..
Eyes
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 09:24 AM
Pouting....what else is there to do?? From her perspective it may seem as if her big brother is raining on her parade;) Teenage girls are diffcult enough without all that pouting going on.
Yes Erin is doing quite well....I am hoping it is the extra Seroquel kicking in. It will be a week tomorrow since we did the increase so it may very well be helping. Time will tell.
We got a call from Kait asking for more money. We are standing our ground on not giving her anymore than we agreed to. She has called me the past few days, we had nice convos....finally yesteday she once again got into the money issue. The same old thing....everybody else' parents...blah, blah, blah. She went on to tell me that she needed her bank account number because one of her friends from home was going to make a deposit into her account for her and she would pay him back over the summer. She told me that he wanted to do this for her because she was crying on the phone and insisted on making the loan to her. I told her that over the summer she was going to have to work for the spending money she would need for her 2nd year of college and hopefully she had learned her lesson on what happens when you blow it all in a matter of weeks. And that she didn't need to have debts to pay off.
Well...I went to her account and saw that she still had money from what I deposited that is for food and the only debit was from a liquor store. I pointed this out to her. The conversation went on to how we don't care about her and how her friends take care of her. I had her on speaker and hubby told her that we are not sending her party money. She said that all of her friends were going out for another friend's birthday party and that she wouldn't be able to go. Hubby told her that if she had gotten a job as she had agreed to when we first decided to go to this college which was far more expensive than the others (her end of the agreement being that she would work over the summer and get a part time job while at college to cover all additional expenses) that we wouldn't be having this conversation. And that it would be far easier to send a little extra cash to a daughter who did her end of the deal which was to work a few hours a week and also respect her parents more and not cause them all the trouble that she has over the past few years with arrests, suspensions from school, breaking into our home, using it without out permission on several occasions etc. Kait got upset and said something that disturbed me and that was "What do I have to sit back and have nothing to do but kill myself!!" I feel that her saying that was most probably a way to get us upset but she had never said anything like that before. And with her recent phone calls saying that she wanted to see a doctor.....she even suggested perhaps seeing one there two days ago. So perhaps things are worse off than I originally thought??? Anyway....Kait started screaming with her usual carrying on and hubby told me to hang up that is was the same old conversation and that she was told to get a job, that she didn't do so and continues to expect us to do our end while she didn't do her end of the deal. She went into how she had to sign contracts of agreement with us and did so just so we could fund her college....and we said we had to have a contract with her because she never lived up to her end of alny agreement. I will be calling her today to further assess how she is feeling & telling her that she perhaps SHOULD see someone sooner.
What do you think??? I just didn't like her saying what she did even if it were a threat.
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Yes Erin is doing quite well....I am hoping it is the extra Seroquel kicking in. It will be a week tomorrow since we did the increase so it may very well be helping. Time will tell.
We got a call from Kait asking for more money. We are standing our ground on not giving her anymore than we agreed to. She has called me the past few days, we had nice convos....finally yesteday she once again got into the money issue. The same old thing....everybody else' parents...blah, blah, blah. She went on to tell me that she needed her bank account number because one of her friends from home was going to make a deposit into her account for her and she would pay him back over the summer. She told me that he wanted to do this for her because she was crying on the phone and insisted on making the loan to her. I told her that over the summer she was going to have to work for the spending money she would need for her 2nd year of college and hopefully she had learned her lesson on what happens when you blow it all in a matter of weeks. And that she didn't need to have debts to pay off.
Well...I went to her account and saw that she still had money from what I deposited that is for food and the only debit was from a liquor store. I pointed this out to her. The conversation went on to how we don't care about her and how her friends take care of her. I had her on speaker and hubby told her that we are not sending her party money. She said that all of her friends were going out for another friend's birthday party and that she wouldn't be able to go. Hubby told her that if she had gotten a job as she had agreed to when we first decided to go to this college which was far more expensive than the others (her end of the agreement being that she would work over the summer and get a part time job while at college to cover all additional expenses) that we wouldn't be having this conversation. And that it would be far easier to send a little extra cash to a daughter who did her end of the deal which was to work a few hours a week and also respect her parents more and not cause them all the trouble that she has over the past few years with arrests, suspensions from school, breaking into our home, using it without out permission on several occasions etc. Kait got upset and said something that disturbed me and that was "What do I have to sit back and have nothing to do but kill myself!!" I feel that her saying that was most probably a way to get us upset but she had never said anything like that before. And with her recent phone calls saying that she wanted to see a doctor.....she even suggested perhaps seeing one there two days ago. So perhaps things are worse off than I originally thought??? Anyway....Kait started screaming with her usual carrying on and hubby told me to hang up that is was the same old conversation and that she was told to get a job, that she didn't do so and continues to expect us to do our end while she didn't do her end of the deal. She went into how she had to sign contracts of agreement with us and did so just so we could fund her college....and we said we had to have a contract with her because she never lived up to her end of alny agreement. I will be calling her today to further assess how she is feeling & telling her that she perhaps SHOULD see someone sooner.
What do you think??? I just didn't like her saying what she did even if it were a threat.
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Xant
03-15-2007, 09:33 AM
Hello Goody and thanks for the reply :)
My son is 21, thats why the docs wont tell me anything until I get there. He also has tons of paper work needing to be filled out from the health insurance...this has been sitting in his cupboard for the last two weeks and his dad 'doesnt have time' to help him with it..Ill be sorting that for him too..he cant think straight enough do anything.
It sounds like you are having a rough time with your daughter..I have a daughter too who has just turned 19 and had an awful time with her for years...but she has a lot of issues due to her being abused when she was younger..sometimes I dont think I was strict enough because of what happened to her...but she seems to be coping well at the moment and has a job for the first time which has helped her a lot.
I am in the u.k and my son is in Germany.
Here's hoping things will work out for you, you are such a caring person :)
My son is 21, thats why the docs wont tell me anything until I get there. He also has tons of paper work needing to be filled out from the health insurance...this has been sitting in his cupboard for the last two weeks and his dad 'doesnt have time' to help him with it..Ill be sorting that for him too..he cant think straight enough do anything.
It sounds like you are having a rough time with your daughter..I have a daughter too who has just turned 19 and had an awful time with her for years...but she has a lot of issues due to her being abused when she was younger..sometimes I dont think I was strict enough because of what happened to her...but she seems to be coping well at the moment and has a job for the first time which has helped her a lot.
I am in the u.k and my son is in Germany.
Here's hoping things will work out for you, you are such a caring person :)
tsohl
03-15-2007, 09:50 AM
Hello Xant,
You can hallucinate in severe cases of bipolar 1. BP2 does not have hallucinations, and it isn't that common for BP1, but it does happen. There can be psychotic episodes, but almost always respond to treatment with lithium. The grandiose and delusional thinking of mania are just a step away from the disordered thinking of schizophrenia. According to the DSM-IV, there is a category called "bipolar illness with psychotic features." These people have the usual symptoms of BP and also the disordered thinking, delusions and hallucinations which are more characteristic of schizophrenia. When the delusions and/or hallucinations last for more than 2 weeks "in the absence of prominent mood symptoms" the diagnosis should be schizoaffective disorder. This is all a spectrum rather than any clear demarcation.
Did you say whether you have a history of mental illness in the immediate families?
Ongoing drug use can mimic the symptoms of manic-depression. Stimulants can produce hallucinations, paranoia and other delusions. But the use of stimulants can also induce a state of sadness, crying, anxiety and other symptoms that look just like a major depression.
This is all so overlaying and intertwined that you can see how it takes a highly trained and experienced professional to know what he/she is dealing with.:dizzy:
When are you going to see your son?
I look forward to hearing more from you.
best,
Tsohl
You can hallucinate in severe cases of bipolar 1. BP2 does not have hallucinations, and it isn't that common for BP1, but it does happen. There can be psychotic episodes, but almost always respond to treatment with lithium. The grandiose and delusional thinking of mania are just a step away from the disordered thinking of schizophrenia. According to the DSM-IV, there is a category called "bipolar illness with psychotic features." These people have the usual symptoms of BP and also the disordered thinking, delusions and hallucinations which are more characteristic of schizophrenia. When the delusions and/or hallucinations last for more than 2 weeks "in the absence of prominent mood symptoms" the diagnosis should be schizoaffective disorder. This is all a spectrum rather than any clear demarcation.
Did you say whether you have a history of mental illness in the immediate families?
Ongoing drug use can mimic the symptoms of manic-depression. Stimulants can produce hallucinations, paranoia and other delusions. But the use of stimulants can also induce a state of sadness, crying, anxiety and other symptoms that look just like a major depression.
This is all so overlaying and intertwined that you can see how it takes a highly trained and experienced professional to know what he/she is dealing with.:dizzy:
When are you going to see your son?
I look forward to hearing more from you.
best,
Tsohl
tsohl
03-15-2007, 09:57 AM
Hello EYES,
Welcome back! I'm glad our silly talk didn't scare you away.
I, too, look forward to you future posts.
Take good care,
Tsohl
Welcome back! I'm glad our silly talk didn't scare you away.
I, too, look forward to you future posts.
Take good care,
Tsohl
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 09:59 AM
Awwww....Xant, it must be so hard being so far away. (((((HUGS)))) to get you through.
Yes, my older daughter had similar problems as my younger one has displayed minus the self injury and suicidal attempts. And once our younger daughter was diagnosed the red flags went up for our older daughter....up to this point we thought that we had over rebellious teens but with the havoc it caused within our household we knew it must be more than that because compared to our closest friends who had teens the same ages as ours, they had some issues but NOTHING like we had with ours. We tried counseling with our older daughter....she was always sooo unhappy, nothing was ever good enough, she wanted her own set of rules and to live her own life with absolutely no restrictions. Thing is, we had the same if not lesser restrictions than her friends....she would always tell us otherwise but checking with the paraents it wasn't so. AND...she would always seem to find the one person who didn't have any rules expecting us to have the same in our household.
She didn't want the counseling....she would go just to get something from us and then not go after the first two sessions....everything is that way. I KNOW deep in my heart that she is hurting. Kids who have much less or the same as her are perfectly content...for her nothing is ever enough. On the other hand she has done such good things.....she earned the highest award in Girl Scouts....the Gold Award. She has worked a job since she was 14 and had such a wonderful work ethic. She has always gotten wonderful grades and no parent could be prouder. It is her anger, her disrespect, her lack of good judgement, her drinking and partying that have us worried. She always has to be on the go with something to do. This week it seemed that things were looking up....she called alot sharing with us how she was using the school workout center and doing more things on campus. That was why we decided not to send her any more money than necessary and insist that she work one day a week....that way she would have less time to get in trouble and at the same time live up to her end of the deal. I have a feeling that she needs the booze...if we gave her $30 for the week to cover weekend food expenses and she has used a third of it towards liquor that tells me something right there. With our strong family history of alcoholism on both sides of the family this worries me.
Anyway....it has been a long time waiting for this mom. I have thought for sometime now that something was just not right with my older daughter. And once my younger one was diagnosed that concern only increased. I was waiting for the time that she would realize for herself that things are not right. And I think that the time is now approaching. IT is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. To have another daughter with BP, well it's just not what I expected in life.
I am glad that you are here Xant and that you are going to be with your son soon. Bring all the printouts you can regarding what research you have done....that will come in handy when you do finally meet with his doctor.
Keep on coming here...will you be able to check in with us once you get to Germany??? I sure hope so.
EYES ~ Hmmmmm....an opthamologist??????:) They say that the eyes are the vision into one's soul....I wonder if that is really true???!!!;) Perhaps that is something that you can share with us on your new thread.
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Yes, my older daughter had similar problems as my younger one has displayed minus the self injury and suicidal attempts. And once our younger daughter was diagnosed the red flags went up for our older daughter....up to this point we thought that we had over rebellious teens but with the havoc it caused within our household we knew it must be more than that because compared to our closest friends who had teens the same ages as ours, they had some issues but NOTHING like we had with ours. We tried counseling with our older daughter....she was always sooo unhappy, nothing was ever good enough, she wanted her own set of rules and to live her own life with absolutely no restrictions. Thing is, we had the same if not lesser restrictions than her friends....she would always tell us otherwise but checking with the paraents it wasn't so. AND...she would always seem to find the one person who didn't have any rules expecting us to have the same in our household.
She didn't want the counseling....she would go just to get something from us and then not go after the first two sessions....everything is that way. I KNOW deep in my heart that she is hurting. Kids who have much less or the same as her are perfectly content...for her nothing is ever enough. On the other hand she has done such good things.....she earned the highest award in Girl Scouts....the Gold Award. She has worked a job since she was 14 and had such a wonderful work ethic. She has always gotten wonderful grades and no parent could be prouder. It is her anger, her disrespect, her lack of good judgement, her drinking and partying that have us worried. She always has to be on the go with something to do. This week it seemed that things were looking up....she called alot sharing with us how she was using the school workout center and doing more things on campus. That was why we decided not to send her any more money than necessary and insist that she work one day a week....that way she would have less time to get in trouble and at the same time live up to her end of the deal. I have a feeling that she needs the booze...if we gave her $30 for the week to cover weekend food expenses and she has used a third of it towards liquor that tells me something right there. With our strong family history of alcoholism on both sides of the family this worries me.
Anyway....it has been a long time waiting for this mom. I have thought for sometime now that something was just not right with my older daughter. And once my younger one was diagnosed that concern only increased. I was waiting for the time that she would realize for herself that things are not right. And I think that the time is now approaching. IT is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. To have another daughter with BP, well it's just not what I expected in life.
I am glad that you are here Xant and that you are going to be with your son soon. Bring all the printouts you can regarding what research you have done....that will come in handy when you do finally meet with his doctor.
Keep on coming here...will you be able to check in with us once you get to Germany??? I sure hope so.
EYES ~ Hmmmmm....an opthamologist??????:) They say that the eyes are the vision into one's soul....I wonder if that is really true???!!!;) Perhaps that is something that you can share with us on your new thread.
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
tsohl
03-15-2007, 10:07 AM
Hey Jules ~
In doing some more reading, I found some things that pertain to your son's situation. Do you have more of an idea now how much drug use he was engaged in and for how long?
Did the pills he took act as a stimulant?
It is entirely possible that his personality has gotten messed up from the ongoing drug use and that he doesn't have BP at all. I guess that would be good, right?
I am partial to small colleges for undergrad work, particularly when kids aren't sure what career path to follow. In additional to dispensing medical and psychological advice, I also hand out college guidance advice.:eek:
:wave: Tsohl
In doing some more reading, I found some things that pertain to your son's situation. Do you have more of an idea now how much drug use he was engaged in and for how long?
Did the pills he took act as a stimulant?
It is entirely possible that his personality has gotten messed up from the ongoing drug use and that he doesn't have BP at all. I guess that would be good, right?
I am partial to small colleges for undergrad work, particularly when kids aren't sure what career path to follow. In additional to dispensing medical and psychological advice, I also hand out college guidance advice.:eek:
:wave: Tsohl
jules3
03-15-2007, 12:19 PM
Ts, no not stimulant drugs at all. he was using prescription pain meds, opiates. they depress the nervous system, they have a euphoric calming effect. very numbing on your emotions. he told me yesterday on the phone that he is opening up there everyday and has trouble talking to us about his feelings. but he is doing it there. he has been going to meetings on depressive illnesses. and how we make ourselves depressed he also told me that he has every symptom on the list. being hard on himself, only seeing black or white nothing in between, wanting only perfection from him self etc... he also told me that hes thinking of staying in fla. going back to school there and getting a job. oh well, he can change his mind 100x in the next 2 weeks. His therapist called me this morning , we spoke for a short time she just wanted to tell me pretty much the same things he told me. hes opening up, and she said hes doing AMAZING. tomorrow is 2 weeks, i've learned not to get my hopes up too high.. im very guarded, but at the same time happy to hear some joy in his voice. :)
jules3
03-15-2007, 12:22 PM
Oh and ts, the drug use was going on for about 8-9 months and 2-3x a week. at least that is what he told me. he was buying the pills on the street, at his college, in the store at the corner. they are all over the place. which sickens me!:mad:
tsohl
03-15-2007, 01:10 PM
Hey Jules ~
That sounds like terrific news! And how nice that the therapist also called you. I didn't get any feedback whatsoever from the place where my son went.
That's good that he could tell you he's opening up down there and has trouble doing that with you. This is very typical and it is a hard time for these kids. Most boys are very private to begin with. And being the first-born, etc. they carry a weight as to not disappoint. Remember what you said about his happy childhood?? First son, grandson, etc...? That carries a lot of weight on his shoulders, and sometimes it gets to be too much. (whether they realize it consciously, or not) Finding drugs everywhere you look, it is easy to think...gee, maybe this would help me feel a little better...and one thing leads to the next.
My son would have been perfectly happy just smoking pot...but the dealers go out of their way to try to get you to buy whatever they have that has a bigger profit. I have a little story to tell you to illustrate this. When my son graduated college, he had a very well-paying career-type job. He found a fabulous apartment, that was two stories with 2 bedrooms upstairs, a big bay window overlooking the skyline, etc. It was painted all white and it was in the lease that it was not to be changed without permission. Well, we should have realized that something was wrong with him when he told us he was painting it bright red (1st floor) and the 2nd floor was painted the colors of the Mediterranean Ocean --deep azure and turquoise and some sun yellow and a bit of deep palm tree green...:dizzy: But I was so naive about bp (I didn't know about this board!!) that I didn't connect the dots....it turns out that he painted it all in about 3 days--non-stop. He was obviously completely manic and on a drug-induced high...but I didn't know that then...and we weren't seeing much of him or the apartment at that time in his life!! Anyway, when he moved out I found out that he had converted the big walk-in closet to a pot growing room--he'd punched a hole in the wall to accommodate some kind of fan so the grow lights didn't overheat...He was doing this because he wanted the pot, but he didn't want any of the other stuff the dealer was giving him. In his own convoluted thinking he knew the other stuff was bad for him...but when the dealer gave it to him, he used it, smoked it, took it, whatever...sometimes all at once. So he figured if he grew his own, he wouldn't have any need to see the dealers and then wouldn't have the temptation of the other drugs. Gee, makes sense to me :rolleyes: .
Our son didn't tell us anything back then. He was always polite and it seemed like we were having a conversation, but now I know it was just that -- polite conversation. Because of what I still consider to be a minute incident that occurred back in 10th grade, he felt he couldn't tell us anything about his feelings and suspected BP because we would not understand and would not take him seriously...and he held to that right up until he checked himself into the psych hospital...2 1/2 years ago. During that time, we have learned to talk to each other and he was initially so surprised to learn that we would listen without passing judgment and that we have become his biggest support system. Hopefully with time, this will happen with your son, too. He is learning to open up in treatment and hopefully it will carry over with you....;)
Go ahead and get your hopes up a little bit...:D
more later,
Tsohl
That sounds like terrific news! And how nice that the therapist also called you. I didn't get any feedback whatsoever from the place where my son went.
That's good that he could tell you he's opening up down there and has trouble doing that with you. This is very typical and it is a hard time for these kids. Most boys are very private to begin with. And being the first-born, etc. they carry a weight as to not disappoint. Remember what you said about his happy childhood?? First son, grandson, etc...? That carries a lot of weight on his shoulders, and sometimes it gets to be too much. (whether they realize it consciously, or not) Finding drugs everywhere you look, it is easy to think...gee, maybe this would help me feel a little better...and one thing leads to the next.
My son would have been perfectly happy just smoking pot...but the dealers go out of their way to try to get you to buy whatever they have that has a bigger profit. I have a little story to tell you to illustrate this. When my son graduated college, he had a very well-paying career-type job. He found a fabulous apartment, that was two stories with 2 bedrooms upstairs, a big bay window overlooking the skyline, etc. It was painted all white and it was in the lease that it was not to be changed without permission. Well, we should have realized that something was wrong with him when he told us he was painting it bright red (1st floor) and the 2nd floor was painted the colors of the Mediterranean Ocean --deep azure and turquoise and some sun yellow and a bit of deep palm tree green...:dizzy: But I was so naive about bp (I didn't know about this board!!) that I didn't connect the dots....it turns out that he painted it all in about 3 days--non-stop. He was obviously completely manic and on a drug-induced high...but I didn't know that then...and we weren't seeing much of him or the apartment at that time in his life!! Anyway, when he moved out I found out that he had converted the big walk-in closet to a pot growing room--he'd punched a hole in the wall to accommodate some kind of fan so the grow lights didn't overheat...He was doing this because he wanted the pot, but he didn't want any of the other stuff the dealer was giving him. In his own convoluted thinking he knew the other stuff was bad for him...but when the dealer gave it to him, he used it, smoked it, took it, whatever...sometimes all at once. So he figured if he grew his own, he wouldn't have any need to see the dealers and then wouldn't have the temptation of the other drugs. Gee, makes sense to me :rolleyes: .
Our son didn't tell us anything back then. He was always polite and it seemed like we were having a conversation, but now I know it was just that -- polite conversation. Because of what I still consider to be a minute incident that occurred back in 10th grade, he felt he couldn't tell us anything about his feelings and suspected BP because we would not understand and would not take him seriously...and he held to that right up until he checked himself into the psych hospital...2 1/2 years ago. During that time, we have learned to talk to each other and he was initially so surprised to learn that we would listen without passing judgment and that we have become his biggest support system. Hopefully with time, this will happen with your son, too. He is learning to open up in treatment and hopefully it will carry over with you....;)
Go ahead and get your hopes up a little bit...:D
more later,
Tsohl
jules3
03-15-2007, 02:10 PM
wow, ts that is some story. I did ask my son about pot and he honestly told me that he never liked the feeling that pot gave him. He obviously preferred pills. I was thinking about the surgeries i had in the past where i was on prescription pain meds vicodins, percocets just for a few days after c-sections and foot surgeries. i remember likeing that feeling of just like floating on a cloud, peaceful very tranquil and i can see that if one is not in the right frame of mind how you can become addicted.
He has always had a very obsessive, addictive personality and i said from the time he was a little boy oh god i hope this kid doesnt try any drugs because he will like them and have a problem. He had 4 wisdom teeth pulled out in sept and got his own prescription for vicodins then. But im pretty sure this was happening before then. oh well, he is in a good place now and we are peaceful here. :)
He has always had a very obsessive, addictive personality and i said from the time he was a little boy oh god i hope this kid doesnt try any drugs because he will like them and have a problem. He had 4 wisdom teeth pulled out in sept and got his own prescription for vicodins then. But im pretty sure this was happening before then. oh well, he is in a good place now and we are peaceful here. :)
langlee
03-15-2007, 06:20 PM
Agh! Just lost my whole post again!
It sounds like there is alot going on and I'm not sure I can keep up, but I'll try!
Jules and Emerald - Good news from both of you. I could not be more delighted! Jules, I can hear the sense of relief all the way through cyberspace and am looking forward to more good news from both of you.
Xant - Good luck on your trip. We'll all be thinking about you and hoping that the psychosis was drug-induced and is just taking some time to leave your son's system.
Linlibit- I'm glad to hear you are getting support here. We're happy you are here.
Goody - Definitely encourage Kait to see someone sooner. She sounds like she is high drama, too, and you don't need additional worry! I'm glad to hear that Erin is more loving and happier right now. Yea for better meds!
Tshol- That is some story about your son's paint job! It is hard to appreciate all of the pain and travail you went through because you are so calm now, but my heart goes out to my Midwest friend and all that you have endured. You are truly amazing!
Eyes - if you are still checking here, I'm glad you opened the new thread. My dad was an optometrist and we have lots and lots of "eye" related things!
Now that I have caught up again (I hope I didn't miss anything major), I have a question: Do any of you know where I can find a documented statement how important meds are to BPs and how they cannot effectively be treated without proper medication? I know we all know it, but I'd like to get a documented statement from a well-respected source. I am thinking of reporting the IOP to the State Licensing Board (there is alot that has been going on and I can flll you in some other time) and, as I learn more about BP, I am incensed that they actually interfered with Zac getting the proper meds.
Thanks for your help.
Love to all,
Hope
It sounds like there is alot going on and I'm not sure I can keep up, but I'll try!
Jules and Emerald - Good news from both of you. I could not be more delighted! Jules, I can hear the sense of relief all the way through cyberspace and am looking forward to more good news from both of you.
Xant - Good luck on your trip. We'll all be thinking about you and hoping that the psychosis was drug-induced and is just taking some time to leave your son's system.
Linlibit- I'm glad to hear you are getting support here. We're happy you are here.
Goody - Definitely encourage Kait to see someone sooner. She sounds like she is high drama, too, and you don't need additional worry! I'm glad to hear that Erin is more loving and happier right now. Yea for better meds!
Tshol- That is some story about your son's paint job! It is hard to appreciate all of the pain and travail you went through because you are so calm now, but my heart goes out to my Midwest friend and all that you have endured. You are truly amazing!
Eyes - if you are still checking here, I'm glad you opened the new thread. My dad was an optometrist and we have lots and lots of "eye" related things!
Now that I have caught up again (I hope I didn't miss anything major), I have a question: Do any of you know where I can find a documented statement how important meds are to BPs and how they cannot effectively be treated without proper medication? I know we all know it, but I'd like to get a documented statement from a well-respected source. I am thinking of reporting the IOP to the State Licensing Board (there is alot that has been going on and I can flll you in some other time) and, as I learn more about BP, I am incensed that they actually interfered with Zac getting the proper meds.
Thanks for your help.
Love to all,
Hope
tsohl
03-15-2007, 06:30 PM
Hi Hope ~
I repainted the apt so we could get the 1500 security deposit back when he moved out...and I didn't want to pay to have it repainted. It took 3 coats to cover the deep colors my son had chosen--that was the beginning of my back problems!!!
Do you want something from a mental health assoc. or is a book documentation good enough??
I repainted the apt so we could get the 1500 security deposit back when he moved out...and I didn't want to pay to have it repainted. It took 3 coats to cover the deep colors my son had chosen--that was the beginning of my back problems!!!
Do you want something from a mental health assoc. or is a book documentation good enough??
langlee
03-15-2007, 06:46 PM
My dear Tsohl,
Thanks for responding so quickly. I knew I could count on you! I appreciate whatever you can find, but the more credentialled the source, the better. It is a long, long story about what is going on with my son's former IOP, but I am seething! We are asked to have total faith and confidence in some of these mental health professionals, to regurgitate our entire life stories over and over, to pay dearly UPFRONT and then, when they are ineffective, to be left with no plan for treatment and no recourse. I've had it! I am ready to become an advocate because I am incensed that they can get away with what they are trying to get away with!
Thanks, Tsohl. You truly are a friend of the heart.
Love and Hugs,
Hope
PS I can just imagine how long it took to cover those dark colors! You are a saint in more ways than one!
Thanks for responding so quickly. I knew I could count on you! I appreciate whatever you can find, but the more credentialled the source, the better. It is a long, long story about what is going on with my son's former IOP, but I am seething! We are asked to have total faith and confidence in some of these mental health professionals, to regurgitate our entire life stories over and over, to pay dearly UPFRONT and then, when they are ineffective, to be left with no plan for treatment and no recourse. I've had it! I am ready to become an advocate because I am incensed that they can get away with what they are trying to get away with!
Thanks, Tsohl. You truly are a friend of the heart.
Love and Hugs,
Hope
PS I can just imagine how long it took to cover those dark colors! You are a saint in more ways than one!
jules3
03-15-2007, 07:04 PM
It is so horrible to pour your heart out to some of these doctors for them to look at you with a blank expression on their face. You have to wonder how did they get their license. It really is the luck of the draw. I need to find my son addiction therapists and pdocs to have ready for him when he comes home. I did talk to one on the phone and got a good feel, but i know alot of them are full of crap. My son called this afternoon and told me he is doing well. but did tell me that he goes from being nice to raging real quick. I told him to please tell his pdoc that, he told me that his doc is going on vacation tomorrow..whats that about? so, i will call his therapist, she is the same one i have been talking to almost everyday..she sounds very caring and kind..and i will again tell her about his mood swings and for her to pass this info on to a pdoc there. He is on 400mgs of seroquel each night, but is telling now telling me that he cannot stay on it because he is scared of the weight gain. Does anyone know of the other medication that is supposed to go along with it to help with that? its supposed to stop you from gaining weight on seroquel. goody, maybe you've heard of it.?????
tsohl
03-15-2007, 07:11 PM
Gee, the things you forget to ask about when looking for a rehab place....is the pdoc going on vacation in the middle of my son's treatment???? That happened to our son, too and I was furious--he didn't get any treatment the entire first week from a pdoc...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.:mad:
tsohl
03-15-2007, 07:18 PM
Hi Hope ~
Do you want something like this from the NAMI website?
While there is no cure for bipolar disorder, it is a treatable and manageable illness. After an accurate diagnosis, most people can be successfully treated. Medication is an essential part of successful treatment for people with bipolar disorder.
Or do you want something more detailed??
Do you want something like this from the NAMI website?
While there is no cure for bipolar disorder, it is a treatable and manageable illness. After an accurate diagnosis, most people can be successfully treated. Medication is an essential part of successful treatment for people with bipolar disorder.
Or do you want something more detailed??
tsohl
03-15-2007, 07:40 PM
CNN is running a show on Addictions...and they were talking about Topomax when I saw a clip from it last night. It is being used to treat a variety of addictions. It is also fairly commonly prescribed for migraine. Topomax has the reputation of causing a weight loss...but it has nothing to do with Seroquel. I have read that Seroquel might cause weight gain, but I have personally not known anyone that had that problem with it.
mamiacp
03-15-2007, 07:52 PM
Goody,
I am so glad to hear that your daughter Erin seems to be feeling better. I know the daily 25mg twice a day made a huge difference for my daughter. We did that for about 4 months, and then pulled back because she was feeling sleepy in the mornings. But her good mood has continued to improve. We are out camping (can you believe this place has WIFI?) and I just had to get on. The kids are playing, swimming and fishing and having a great time.
I have to make it short. Everyone always seems hungry when we camp.
Cristina
I am so glad to hear that your daughter Erin seems to be feeling better. I know the daily 25mg twice a day made a huge difference for my daughter. We did that for about 4 months, and then pulled back because she was feeling sleepy in the mornings. But her good mood has continued to improve. We are out camping (can you believe this place has WIFI?) and I just had to get on. The kids are playing, swimming and fishing and having a great time.
I have to make it short. Everyone always seems hungry when we camp.
Cristina
jules3
03-15-2007, 08:25 PM
I have seen the coming attractions for that show, its on tonite.. i really am too nervous to watch it.. i think i will find it too upsetting right now. topamax is a drug for migraines that they are finding out that it can be used for other things like bipolar and addictions..Believe me, i will not let them get away with him not seeing a pdoc . after all, while this place is mostly covered by insurance we are putting out alot of cash. and im going to have him reap all the benefits from it. I can get pretty vicious when it comes to my kids. :mad:
jules3
03-15-2007, 11:38 PM
Well Ts, we did watch the show on addictions. It is a disease of the brain. i dont know if any of you watched it. the 15 yr old boy on the show in my opinion could be bp, yet they never once said that word. he was aggressive, agitated, cutting and burning himself abusing anything he could get his hands on pot, speed alcohol. Did anyone see the show?
goody2shuz
03-16-2007, 12:07 AM
Hi, Jules....no I didn't...Erin had a big history project that is due tomorrow that she saved for the last minute so we were busy with other things. Anyway...that is something how the addictive personality could be so similar to that of BP. Did the show upset you at all?? From some of the shows that I have seen about BP they seem to not portray the disorder in an understanding way....I think that they show the worst cases for some reason....did you find that this show did that?? It sure sounds like it.
As far ase the doctor going on vacation...we had Erin' therapist leave at the most important time which was difficult. WE made sure that she had the supervising therapistwork along with her for a few weeks so that there was a smooth transition. I find that Erin doesn't take unexpected changes well.
Another pretty good day here....Erin did start crying when she thought about our first dog dying (we had to put her down). Erin was sleeping over at her best friend's house at the time and Kait was away at Basketball camp & we prepared them knowing that the dog wasn't doing well (she had a tumor in her lymphatic system that had infected her entire system). WE knew that the time was coming that we would have to put her down. Hubby & I decided that it was time when the kids were away....the dog lost the light in her eyes that showed her will to live....we just knew that keeping her on was only selfish to have her with us a little bit longer.
Anyway....Erin told me tonight that she was upset because she never got to say goodbye...I reminded her how I had her say goodbye each day being honest with oth her and Kait that the time could come anytime. She seemed to remember and I told her that it was a difficult decision but we thought that having her there would have been too hard, that it was hard enough when we were with the dog but that she didn't suffer and it was time because she lost that light in her eyes. It was good to talk about this.....I know that anything lost has affected Erin alot and she never was able to really talk about it.....until now. So that is good.
Cristina ~ thanks for popping in....wow, WIFI while camping...that's great!
I really appreciate the support and yes...things do look as if they are gettin better for Erin. Thanks for sharing. How much Seroquel is your daughter on???
Well....it's getting late....oh Hope, I was a little confused....what is the IOP, I am sorry but I wanted to know more about that so I could understand it. Hope you don't mind clarifying things.
Night all...:yawn:
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
As far ase the doctor going on vacation...we had Erin' therapist leave at the most important time which was difficult. WE made sure that she had the supervising therapistwork along with her for a few weeks so that there was a smooth transition. I find that Erin doesn't take unexpected changes well.
Another pretty good day here....Erin did start crying when she thought about our first dog dying (we had to put her down). Erin was sleeping over at her best friend's house at the time and Kait was away at Basketball camp & we prepared them knowing that the dog wasn't doing well (she had a tumor in her lymphatic system that had infected her entire system). WE knew that the time was coming that we would have to put her down. Hubby & I decided that it was time when the kids were away....the dog lost the light in her eyes that showed her will to live....we just knew that keeping her on was only selfish to have her with us a little bit longer.
Anyway....Erin told me tonight that she was upset because she never got to say goodbye...I reminded her how I had her say goodbye each day being honest with oth her and Kait that the time could come anytime. She seemed to remember and I told her that it was a difficult decision but we thought that having her there would have been too hard, that it was hard enough when we were with the dog but that she didn't suffer and it was time because she lost that light in her eyes. It was good to talk about this.....I know that anything lost has affected Erin alot and she never was able to really talk about it.....until now. So that is good.
Cristina ~ thanks for popping in....wow, WIFI while camping...that's great!
I really appreciate the support and yes...things do look as if they are gettin better for Erin. Thanks for sharing. How much Seroquel is your daughter on???
Well....it's getting late....oh Hope, I was a little confused....what is the IOP, I am sorry but I wanted to know more about that so I could understand it. Hope you don't mind clarifying things.
Night all...:yawn:
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
jules3
03-16-2007, 12:26 AM
The show did upset me but also made me more aware of how mental illness plays a part in addiction big time.
langlee
03-16-2007, 12:27 AM
Tsohl,
You are such a wonderful friend! I am not trying to make you my researcher; I just know that you have a tremendous amount of information! The NAMI quote is good, although I was hoping for something even stronger. I'd like to be able to show the IOP that their inability to help Zac get the appropriate meds in a timely fashion precluded his ability to take full advantage of their program.
I so appreciate your help.
Jules, it still sounds to me like your son has bipolar, but with depression. The mania part of bipolar can be only rage, irritability, quick anger. That was the case with Zac. Again, I'm not trying to label your son. I just want to make sure, as you do, that he shares everything with the pdoc or therapist so that he is treated with the correct meds. I'm glad to hear that he recognizes his mood swings and is also able to see that he is getting help. Good for him! (and for you!)
Love,
Hope
You are such a wonderful friend! I am not trying to make you my researcher; I just know that you have a tremendous amount of information! The NAMI quote is good, although I was hoping for something even stronger. I'd like to be able to show the IOP that their inability to help Zac get the appropriate meds in a timely fashion precluded his ability to take full advantage of their program.
I so appreciate your help.
Jules, it still sounds to me like your son has bipolar, but with depression. The mania part of bipolar can be only rage, irritability, quick anger. That was the case with Zac. Again, I'm not trying to label your son. I just want to make sure, as you do, that he shares everything with the pdoc or therapist so that he is treated with the correct meds. I'm glad to hear that he recognizes his mood swings and is also able to see that he is getting help. Good for him! (and for you!)
Love,
Hope
langlee
03-16-2007, 12:32 AM
Goody,