ladyofkypros
03-12-2007, 10:38 AM
Hi all,
Last Monday, I had to hospitalize my 14 yr old son, he flipped out and put his foot thru the wall and tore apart his bedroom... screamed so much that the blood vessels in his face popped. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I cried for the entire three days he was in that place. They diagnosed him with BP, OCD and ADHD. They put him on Abilify and I can tell a bit of a difference, but the side affects have me very concerned. He either fidgits like he is on heroine or has his head down half out of it. If we go anywhere, the motion of the car makes him EXTREMELY nauseaus. I don't know how he would be expected to function in school like this. He has an appt with his pdoc tommorrow afternoon, so I will talk to her, but now what? He doesn't want to take the meds, he cries and pleads with me not to make him... says he doesn't understand why I'm trying to change who he is... why I don't like who he is. It breaks my heart. How do I explain to him what is happening? How do I show him that this is the best thing for him?
Last Monday, I had to hospitalize my 14 yr old son, he flipped out and put his foot thru the wall and tore apart his bedroom... screamed so much that the blood vessels in his face popped. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I cried for the entire three days he was in that place. They diagnosed him with BP, OCD and ADHD. They put him on Abilify and I can tell a bit of a difference, but the side affects have me very concerned. He either fidgits like he is on heroine or has his head down half out of it. If we go anywhere, the motion of the car makes him EXTREMELY nauseaus. I don't know how he would be expected to function in school like this. He has an appt with his pdoc tommorrow afternoon, so I will talk to her, but now what? He doesn't want to take the meds, he cries and pleads with me not to make him... says he doesn't understand why I'm trying to change who he is... why I don't like who he is. It breaks my heart. How do I explain to him what is happening? How do I show him that this is the best thing for him?
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Paige1989
03-12-2007, 10:45 AM
I'm not quite that extreme (I'm seventeen), but I can COMPLETELY understand why he doesn't want to take his meds. I went through the same denial phase, which most bpers go through. I tried three times to go off my meds and it never worked. Also, most bpers need more than one med, especially with a multi-diagnosis. I'm also on Ability and Lamictal works wonders for me, though I'm not quite stable right now (seriously considering hospitalisation at this point). Also, if he has anxiety problems, mention that to the pdoc because he/she can help with that as well - I'm on two different anxiety meds (Ativan during the day, Klonopin at night). I hope for the best for your son and hope that he gets through his denial phase quickly. Also, the side effects usually clear up in a week or so so just hang in there.
Good luck,
Paige
Good luck,
Paige
Paige1989
03-12-2007, 10:57 AM
why I don't like who he is. It breaks my heart. How do I explain to him what is happening? How do I show him that this is the best thing for him?
Tell him very frankly that you are not trying to change who he is, that you are just trying to help him go back to the way he was. It takes time to accept the diagnosis and as long as you are persistent, it will sink in, especially once he gets stable. Just hang in there and trust yourself that you are doing the best thing for him.
Let him stay home from school for a couple days, at least until he is stable enough to return because sending him back now will just agitate his condition and he won't learn anything anyhow; think about homebound education where they send a teacher to your home to educate him.
Paige
Tell him very frankly that you are not trying to change who he is, that you are just trying to help him go back to the way he was. It takes time to accept the diagnosis and as long as you are persistent, it will sink in, especially once he gets stable. Just hang in there and trust yourself that you are doing the best thing for him.
Let him stay home from school for a couple days, at least until he is stable enough to return because sending him back now will just agitate his condition and he won't learn anything anyhow; think about homebound education where they send a teacher to your home to educate him.
Paige
goody2shuz
03-12-2007, 11:03 AM
Hi...I have been on this road with my 15 year old daughter since she was your son's age. And I know it isn't an easy one.:angel:
First, BP is treatable, however it is not like a physical illness that one pill fixes all. There are many meds and the most difficult part of all of this is finding the right meds for your son. Each med has it's side effects but they should subside as the body gets use to them.
The doctors try Abilify first because if it works it often eliminates the need for other drugs. It works pretty rapidly in reducing the hypomania/mania which your son seems to be exhibiting. It also has a mood stabilixing effect so that is why alot of doctors choose to use this med.
My daughter is hypersensitive to meds and the Abilify didn't work out for her. It had too much of a sedative effect and caused twitching of the face and tongue within the first few weeks.
Discuss your concerns about the way in which this med is working for your son. The doctors will make any adjustments based upon your input as well as your son's. Like I said, it will take some time to find the right meds but you will have to give each one a fighting chance to see if once it levels off it does the trick.
Reassure your son, that you will work with him to find the right meds that won't make him feel like another person. Tell him that you know he doesn't want to feel angry and frustrated and that what he has been diagnosed with is a chemical imbalance of the brain and just like somebody who has diabetes has to take insulin, he is going to have to take meds to balance the chemicals in his brain or his condition will worsten and that you do not want that to happen. Tell him that this is not his fault...that the disorder is often genetic and out of his control. And give him hope that he will feel better once you find the right meds.
My daughter was hospitalized 4 times before being properly diagnosed. It took 2 suicide attempts and impulsive behaviors and the perscription of an antidepressant that triggered a mania that had her arrested before she was properly diagnosed.
I will share what the pyschiatrist told me when I was afraid to put her on these strong meds. She told me that and unmedicated person with Bipolar was in more danger than any med perscribed. And from doing my research and looking back on my daughter's life before she was medicated I see that what she said is true.
Educate yourself so that you can have the knowledge to help your son through this.
As far as other meds that help out with anger, frustration, irritability....Seroquel is a great one with very little side effects and works fast and with both mania and depression so if your doctor suggests that one I would highly recommend it.
My daughter is on Seroquel and Lamictal, both of which are wonderful meds with minmal side effects and are working out pretty well for us. We are having some increased frustration, impulsivity, and hypomania and see the pdoc today and expect to have some type of adjustment.
Hang in there....give your son hope and point out any improvements you see and promise him that you will make sure that you find the meds that will make him feel well and it will take time to do that but you need for him to be patient while you find them for him.
There are lots of other moms here who will be more than happy to hold your hand through this. You will grow stronger with the more you understand BP and see your son's improvement.
Oh....and most doctors will want to stabilize the BP before addressing the ADHD or OCD. My daughter was also diagnosed with ADHD and she is having symptoms of OCD as well which we are going to discuss with the pdoc this afternoon.
Please know that you are not alone. This is such a wonderful place, it has become my lifeline and I am sure you will find that too. So take my hand and know that you are not alone.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
First, BP is treatable, however it is not like a physical illness that one pill fixes all. There are many meds and the most difficult part of all of this is finding the right meds for your son. Each med has it's side effects but they should subside as the body gets use to them.
The doctors try Abilify first because if it works it often eliminates the need for other drugs. It works pretty rapidly in reducing the hypomania/mania which your son seems to be exhibiting. It also has a mood stabilixing effect so that is why alot of doctors choose to use this med.
My daughter is hypersensitive to meds and the Abilify didn't work out for her. It had too much of a sedative effect and caused twitching of the face and tongue within the first few weeks.
Discuss your concerns about the way in which this med is working for your son. The doctors will make any adjustments based upon your input as well as your son's. Like I said, it will take some time to find the right meds but you will have to give each one a fighting chance to see if once it levels off it does the trick.
Reassure your son, that you will work with him to find the right meds that won't make him feel like another person. Tell him that you know he doesn't want to feel angry and frustrated and that what he has been diagnosed with is a chemical imbalance of the brain and just like somebody who has diabetes has to take insulin, he is going to have to take meds to balance the chemicals in his brain or his condition will worsten and that you do not want that to happen. Tell him that this is not his fault...that the disorder is often genetic and out of his control. And give him hope that he will feel better once you find the right meds.
My daughter was hospitalized 4 times before being properly diagnosed. It took 2 suicide attempts and impulsive behaviors and the perscription of an antidepressant that triggered a mania that had her arrested before she was properly diagnosed.
I will share what the pyschiatrist told me when I was afraid to put her on these strong meds. She told me that and unmedicated person with Bipolar was in more danger than any med perscribed. And from doing my research and looking back on my daughter's life before she was medicated I see that what she said is true.
Educate yourself so that you can have the knowledge to help your son through this.
As far as other meds that help out with anger, frustration, irritability....Seroquel is a great one with very little side effects and works fast and with both mania and depression so if your doctor suggests that one I would highly recommend it.
My daughter is on Seroquel and Lamictal, both of which are wonderful meds with minmal side effects and are working out pretty well for us. We are having some increased frustration, impulsivity, and hypomania and see the pdoc today and expect to have some type of adjustment.
Hang in there....give your son hope and point out any improvements you see and promise him that you will make sure that you find the meds that will make him feel well and it will take time to do that but you need for him to be patient while you find them for him.
There are lots of other moms here who will be more than happy to hold your hand through this. You will grow stronger with the more you understand BP and see your son's improvement.
Oh....and most doctors will want to stabilize the BP before addressing the ADHD or OCD. My daughter was also diagnosed with ADHD and she is having symptoms of OCD as well which we are going to discuss with the pdoc this afternoon.
Please know that you are not alone. This is such a wonderful place, it has become my lifeline and I am sure you will find that too. So take my hand and know that you are not alone.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
mamiacp
03-12-2007, 01:52 PM
I completely agree with Goody about stablization before addressing ADHD or OCD. Our daughter (15) was treated for ADHD for two years before (and before knowing) she was bipolar and the results were not good. She had to be hospitalized, was in denial, was non compliant etc....One she started on medication things improved dramatically. She is also on Seroquel in addition to Trileptal and I saw the results in less than a week. She has been doing so well and when she has her moments I always have to remind myself where we were almost one year ago-right where you are now. After the bipolar became stable her psychiatrist addressed the ADHD with Metadate XL and she is doing great.
Every once in a while she asks why she has this illness, what caused it and so on. I address all of these factually and remind her this is a treatable illness and thank goodness there is treatment. Then she rationalizes it all and is ok with it. It is difficult, but no treatment is definitely worse than the side effects of medications-they all have some-and there is a combination that will work for your son. It will take patience (which I know he does not have right now) especially on the family's part and talk therapy is a must from the doctor. I think bipolar patients respond to factual no nonsense information-at least my daughter and husband do-and anything that is too abstract and descriptive just leaves them with confusion.
I hope this is helpful. Keep your hopes up. Your son needs it right now and no matter what he says, he is looking to you for support and guidance.
Keep posting.
Cristina
Every once in a while she asks why she has this illness, what caused it and so on. I address all of these factually and remind her this is a treatable illness and thank goodness there is treatment. Then she rationalizes it all and is ok with it. It is difficult, but no treatment is definitely worse than the side effects of medications-they all have some-and there is a combination that will work for your son. It will take patience (which I know he does not have right now) especially on the family's part and talk therapy is a must from the doctor. I think bipolar patients respond to factual no nonsense information-at least my daughter and husband do-and anything that is too abstract and descriptive just leaves them with confusion.
I hope this is helpful. Keep your hopes up. Your son needs it right now and no matter what he says, he is looking to you for support and guidance.
Keep posting.
Cristina
tsohl
03-12-2007, 02:09 PM
Hello,
I checked back through your posts and see that you are relatively new to the bipolar board. Welcome. I guess you got your answer to whether this disorder could be inherited, and for that, I am sorry you had to have it confirmed in such a traumatic way.
You have received good advice from Goody and Cristina so I won't bother reinforcing what they said. I just wanted to encourage you to come here often with your questions and comments, and to vent, as well. I think you will find this a very helpful and useful board. It is helpful to have someone to talk to who has been down this path before you. As a non-bipolar mom, it is very helpful to hear what it's like to deal with bipolar disorder from those who are dealing with it. My son doesn't like to talk about it, so I would know next to nothing if I just depended on him for information!!
Welcome!
:wave: Tsohl
I checked back through your posts and see that you are relatively new to the bipolar board. Welcome. I guess you got your answer to whether this disorder could be inherited, and for that, I am sorry you had to have it confirmed in such a traumatic way.
You have received good advice from Goody and Cristina so I won't bother reinforcing what they said. I just wanted to encourage you to come here often with your questions and comments, and to vent, as well. I think you will find this a very helpful and useful board. It is helpful to have someone to talk to who has been down this path before you. As a non-bipolar mom, it is very helpful to hear what it's like to deal with bipolar disorder from those who are dealing with it. My son doesn't like to talk about it, so I would know next to nothing if I just depended on him for information!!
Welcome!
:wave: Tsohl
langlee
03-12-2007, 03:59 PM
I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling, but I'm glad you found us. You will see that there are quite a few threads that deal with teenagers and young adults with BP and we have found strength and hope sharing with other parents. As an added bonus, you won't find anyone more knowledgable and helpful than our 17 year old friend, Paige!
I posted this on another thread awhile ago, but I thought you might find it helpful so I'm reposting:
My niece has a friend whose 16-year-old nephew was diagnosed with bipolar and several months later killed himself. It is every family's worse nightmare and he struggled for a long time before he was diagnosed. He never really had the opportunity to get the help he needed or to see the effects.
This woman has made it her mission to continue to learn about bipolar and to help others so they don't have to suffer as her family did. She is active with the Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation (I think that's the name) and attends workshops and seminars.
She sent this to me and I asked her permission to share it with all of you. I think she does an eloquent job of summing up what we are trying to do everyday. Here it is:
If there was something I could tell your son, knowing what I know now is this:
- If you are not left alone, it's not that we don't trust you, it's that we cannot trust the disorder.
- If we lock up things that you may get high on, it's not that we don't trust you, we know we cannot trust the disorder.
- If you beg for "a little something" when you are on edge, it's not that we don't want to medicate your pain, we know we are "feeding" your disorder and allowing it to win.
- If we check on where you are, call your friends or their parents, walk in the room unexpectedly, it's not that we don't trust you, it's that we don't trust the disorder AND it's because we are your parents...and that's just the way it is.
- When you appear to be doing good and happy, and we keep an extra eye on you, it's not that we don't trust you, we know we cannot trust the disorder at these times and must still protect you.
- When you beg not to go to a therapist or counseling, and try desperately to convince everyone you are doing well and will "let someone know when you need to talk to someone", it's not that we do not think you can make a judgement call, it's that we know the disorder can't be trusted to always guide you in the right direction.
- If you EVER have thoughts of suicide, please share them with us. If someone doesn't listen, find someone who will. Keep suicide hotline numbers handy or dial 9-1-1. The disorder may try to convince you that you are doing the right thing. But if for a moment you find the strength to intercept, we will protect you. You can win!
- The pain of losing you to this disorder is a sentence to a lifetime of hell for those who love you. Know that there are answers, but they may take time. Find the strength, courage, and determination to fight this disorder with everything in your being, and you have parents that will meet you on the other side and stay by your side.
- And remember, your parents may not always "like" you or "like" your behaviour (and you won't always "like" them), but they will always LOVE you with their entire heart and soul. (My own sons didn't "like" me all the time when they were growing up, but they have always loved me dearly.)
- You cannot fight this disorder alone. You MUST allow others to help you, and
- NEVER trust this disorder.
I hope this helps you in some way. I look forward to hearing more from you in the days to come.
Always,
Hope
I posted this on another thread awhile ago, but I thought you might find it helpful so I'm reposting:
My niece has a friend whose 16-year-old nephew was diagnosed with bipolar and several months later killed himself. It is every family's worse nightmare and he struggled for a long time before he was diagnosed. He never really had the opportunity to get the help he needed or to see the effects.
This woman has made it her mission to continue to learn about bipolar and to help others so they don't have to suffer as her family did. She is active with the Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation (I think that's the name) and attends workshops and seminars.
She sent this to me and I asked her permission to share it with all of you. I think she does an eloquent job of summing up what we are trying to do everyday. Here it is:
If there was something I could tell your son, knowing what I know now is this:
- If you are not left alone, it's not that we don't trust you, it's that we cannot trust the disorder.
- If we lock up things that you may get high on, it's not that we don't trust you, we know we cannot trust the disorder.
- If you beg for "a little something" when you are on edge, it's not that we don't want to medicate your pain, we know we are "feeding" your disorder and allowing it to win.
- If we check on where you are, call your friends or their parents, walk in the room unexpectedly, it's not that we don't trust you, it's that we don't trust the disorder AND it's because we are your parents...and that's just the way it is.
- When you appear to be doing good and happy, and we keep an extra eye on you, it's not that we don't trust you, we know we cannot trust the disorder at these times and must still protect you.
- When you beg not to go to a therapist or counseling, and try desperately to convince everyone you are doing well and will "let someone know when you need to talk to someone", it's not that we do not think you can make a judgement call, it's that we know the disorder can't be trusted to always guide you in the right direction.
- If you EVER have thoughts of suicide, please share them with us. If someone doesn't listen, find someone who will. Keep suicide hotline numbers handy or dial 9-1-1. The disorder may try to convince you that you are doing the right thing. But if for a moment you find the strength to intercept, we will protect you. You can win!
- The pain of losing you to this disorder is a sentence to a lifetime of hell for those who love you. Know that there are answers, but they may take time. Find the strength, courage, and determination to fight this disorder with everything in your being, and you have parents that will meet you on the other side and stay by your side.
- And remember, your parents may not always "like" you or "like" your behaviour (and you won't always "like" them), but they will always LOVE you with their entire heart and soul. (My own sons didn't "like" me all the time when they were growing up, but they have always loved me dearly.)
- You cannot fight this disorder alone. You MUST allow others to help you, and
- NEVER trust this disorder.
I hope this helps you in some way. I look forward to hearing more from you in the days to come.
Always,
Hope
ladyofkypros
03-13-2007, 09:41 AM
Thanks so much for all of your responses... I'm sorry I haven't gotten back, but it seems like my entire life has been turned upside down. My son is doing a little better, but something happened last night that freaked me out. My daughter has had a horrible cold since Friday night and now it appears that my son is coming down with it... his nose was running really bad, so I gave him a Benadryl. Well, about 3 hours later (around 11pm last night) he comes into my room and says, "Mom, feel my heart... it's beating so hard, it hurts" and it was. He had his meds yesterday morning, so it had been at least 14 hours since... so anyways I had him take a shower and do breathing exercises and such and finally around 1am, he fell asleep. He has not fought me taking his meds the last two days, and even said yesterday afternoon, prior to giving him the Benadryl, that he wasn't feeling weird anymore... so I thought okay, we are making some headway. But now this... we have an appt with the pdoc this afternoon, and of course I will discuss it with her, but has anyone ever had something like this happen... they didn't tell me that I couldn't give him any type of cold medicines and the drug info sheet didn't have any warnings about it really. Oh, and now it seems like he can't sleep at all... I got up at 6:30am this morning and he was up and said that he had been up since 5am. He is not going off very much sleep, but I can't force him to fall asleep and stay asleep... is this a common side effect?
goody2shuz
03-13-2007, 10:23 AM
I would definitely make mention of this to the pdoc...this could be a dangerous side effect of the Abilify and an EKG should be done. I don't want to scare you but sometimes the Abilify could lead to dangerous heart rhythms and I don't know if it was just the Abilify OR the combo of the Abilify and Benadryl.
Benadryl, from my experience, was often used in the psych hospital when my daughter was admitted for sleep so I don't think that is a problem but some kids have what is called a paradoxical reaction to Benadryl which is basically an opposite effect than is expected. This would be increased anxiety, restlessness, hyperactivity, insomnia.....so I would think that the behavior you are seeing is that. Do a search putting in paradoxical reaction & benadryl and you will understand.
Anyway...glad to know that you are going into the pdoc. The timing couldn't be better.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Benadryl, from my experience, was often used in the psych hospital when my daughter was admitted for sleep so I don't think that is a problem but some kids have what is called a paradoxical reaction to Benadryl which is basically an opposite effect than is expected. This would be increased anxiety, restlessness, hyperactivity, insomnia.....so I would think that the behavior you are seeing is that. Do a search putting in paradoxical reaction & benadryl and you will understand.
Anyway...glad to know that you are going into the pdoc. The timing couldn't be better.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
ladyofkypros
03-13-2007, 02:24 PM
[QUOTE=goody2shuz;2854695]Do a search putting in paradoxical reaction & benadryl and you will understand.
Anyway...glad to know that you are going into the pdoc. The timing couldn't be better.QUOTE]
I don't think it is a paradoxical reaction, he has NEVER had an odd reaction to any type of antihistamines. They usually knock him out cold. Unless being on the Abilify has caused him to have a paradoxical reaction to it... I don't know, but your right, it's a good thing he sees the pdoc today... speaking of which, I've got to get going. Thanks!
Anyway...glad to know that you are going into the pdoc. The timing couldn't be better.QUOTE]
I don't think it is a paradoxical reaction, he has NEVER had an odd reaction to any type of antihistamines. They usually knock him out cold. Unless being on the Abilify has caused him to have a paradoxical reaction to it... I don't know, but your right, it's a good thing he sees the pdoc today... speaking of which, I've got to get going. Thanks!
sunrisesublime
03-13-2007, 02:51 PM
I actually am bipolar and have ADHD and OCD. I also suffer from anxiety problems as well. It is good that you are there for him and that you found out early. Throughout high school I was miserable and fought with my parents to get me help. Finally my GP put me on Zoloft. He had to increase the dose to max and then I had a manic episode. Tegretol works the best for stabilizing me. I also take Adderall for the ADHD and Lexapro for depression. Xanax helps with the anxiety. The best thing to help him understand is to be there for him and get him into a good therapist and a good psychiatrist. GP's might be able to prescribe medications, but they don't always understand they situation.
Evensae
03-13-2007, 08:29 PM
Hey~ I have a daughter(17) who was also diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder, ADD of some form and depression including a few other things I don't remember. Turns out she should have been diagnosed with Bi-polar also. Actually it was Bi-Polar with homicidal tendencies. This took 2-3 years to "perfect". We started when she was 13. She has had many trips to the hospital, pshyc.ward, and treatment centers. She has had many run-ins with the police and other officials. Long speech shortened...You as a parent go thru hell everytime your child is "cornered" about his/her behavior. I say cornered because that is what they feel and act like. It took me a long time to not feel guilty, heartbroken, depressed, and angry about the whole thing. We have all had lots of therapy. I have no "magic pill" and no perfect instructions on how to deal with this life. I am, however a very good listener:) Just to let you know...We have a 6yr. old who is currently being evaluated for Bi-polar. I feel like we are no more prepared for this that we were last time. Any suggestions?:eek:
tsohl
03-13-2007, 10:37 PM
I am recommending a book that I wish had been around when my son was younger. It is called "Understanding the Mind of your Bipolar Child" by Gregory T. Lombardo, M.D., Ph.D. This man was a teacher prior to becoming a pdoc. and he is himself bipolar. He writes from a developmental viewpoint and covers from infancy to going off to college. It would help you learn what to look out for in your younger daughter and could be useful for your older one as well. It is availabe at the online booksellers.
langlee
03-14-2007, 11:43 AM
Welcome, Evanse. I'm sorry for the challenges you have had to face, but glad you found us. There is tremendous strength and support on this board. There are a few mothers of younger children (more like 9-11) that started a thread with the name "Anyone out there with an 11 year old" (I'm paraphrasing, but it's something like that ) about younger children. You might want to check them out. Screen names are 5Boys, BetsyAnn, and Tylersmom. (I'm close if not exact!)
There is also a thread of moms who have teenagers or young adults. (I have a 16 year old son and I am one of them) That one is called Finding the Light at the End of the Tunnel (again, I am paraphrasing, but you should be able to find it.)
Come here often. I think you'll be glad you did.
Always,
Hope
There is also a thread of moms who have teenagers or young adults. (I have a 16 year old son and I am one of them) That one is called Finding the Light at the End of the Tunnel (again, I am paraphrasing, but you should be able to find it.)
Come here often. I think you'll be glad you did.
Always,
Hope
Evensae
03-14-2007, 07:23 PM
Thank you so much for the replies. I'll have to look for some of the other threads too. :wave: