I have a question for any other anxiety sufferers on this board: Am I the only one who suffers from mild social anxiety so much so that you have a hard time even formulating coherent sentences with other people sometimes?? :confused:

In the past I used to think that I was suffering from adult ADD or heck...that I was becoming dumber and dumber by the minute! :eek: But more recently, I've been thinking that my "symptoms" are more so a sign of a type of social anxiety.

I get nervous when speaking in front of a large audience (as do MOST people), and I get really anxious about it (probably more so than most), but it's only been about 4 years that I've really started to notice that I have a really hard time just expressing my feelings, opinions and beliefs to people in a small group setting! :( It gets to the point where I lose my train of thought, or I know that there is a particular word that I'm searching for,but my brain just cannot find it. Grrrr... :mad: It makes me so MAD sometimes! Especially since I know that when I was younger (I'm only in my mid 20s) I could formulate sentences with ease, and convey my thoughts effortlessly. But these days sometimes when I talk and feel like the spotlight is on "me", I feel like I'm coming across as ditzy, flaky, or a rambling idiot! I know this is just my anxiety talking, and I know that I'm not stupid. In fact, I consider myself quite intelligent, and a deep thinker. But when it comes to actually formulating the words to convey the thoughts that I'm thinking inside my head, I feel sooo lost sometimes. :( This happens to me at work, at school, and even with my group of friends when the attention is all on "me" and I have to express my beliefs/opinions, or when I have to tell a story. So sometimes, I stay quiet, even though I know that I could add some meaningful input to a lot of conversations. I'm SICK of living this way though! People have even started to get the impression that I'm "quiet" because of this. :(

Does this happen to anyone else other than me?? Or am I just alone in this?? :confused: I'm wondering if this is my anxiety causing this problem, or if I really AM just getting dumber and dumber as the years go by.

How do some of you guys cope with social anxieties such as speaking in public, or giving speeches, or even just speaking in a small group?? Please HELP!!

You are definitely not the only one that has this problem. I have a hard time talking to people that I'm not comfortable with too, ex: boss, strangers, etc. It's normal. I think two things play a role in it. First of all I think we are probably perfectionists and we get too hard on ourselfs when we goof up. Everyone messes up what they are saying on a daily basis, it's just that we only notice it when we do it. I also think stress play a part in it too. I'm really stressed out right now and I'm saying all kinds of goofy things. I think what we need to remember is to just take our time and slow down when we talk. We have a lot of thoughts and ideas to offer to people and we communicate just fine. No one is perfect, we are all just human beings trying to get through life the best way we know how.
Also, public speaking isn't for everyone. Some people are just naturally really good at it and some are not. We could be really good at other things like writing the speeches or expressing emotion in the form of art or advertising. We can't be good at everything.

Hi sweet.....yes, yes, yes! I have had the same problem. I understand how you feel because you don't want people to think your stupid! But, you must realize that it is your anxiety, and not because your "slow" or "dim-witted". If you THINK you will fumble your words when you want to speak out in a group, your already setting yourself up to do just that! Instead, try telling yourself "I am an intelligent, witty, charming person and I CAN express my opinions on this subject with ease". Speak slowly, and meaningfully from the heart. Hope this helps!

I've had this problem since about 3rd Grade. I notice that whenevr I talk to a group of people I freeze up and my brain doesn't want to function right. My face will begin to get hot and I'll start to sweat like I'm in the desert or something. Then my neck will start to spasm. I found though that if I am talking for more than 10 minutes or so I actually become calmer and if I am speaking for longer than 30 minutes or so I become completely calm and can think again - strange, huh. :confused:

If you THINK you will fumble your words when you want to speak out in a group, your already setting yourself up to do just that!


Oh THANK YOU! Thanks for all the responses guys. I finally feel like I am not alone in this! I especially agree with the quote in bold above. At first I thought I was going crazy, and thought that my deteriorating speech skills were due more to a lack of adequate sleep these days, and my diet. It's only recently that I've started to make a connection between my anxiety and my speaking skills when I'm in a group setting. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure adequate sleep and a better diet would surely HELP my speech skills and not to mention my anxiety, but the fact that this problem has only been noticeable within the last 4 years or so lets me know that this is more so an anxiety problem.

I get sooo nervous when people are quiet and are listening to me in a group setting. Does anyone else experience that?? Like, I'll start talking because I feel that I have something meaningful to add to the conversation, but as SOON as I feel like all eyes are on me, or that everyone has become quiet in order to listen to my opinions, immediately I start feeling like my thoughts are going out of my brain, and I feel like I have to search and try extra hard to get the right words to come out. Sometimes I really feel spacey when I speak. :dizzy: Sometimes I'll even continue talking (even though I have no idea what I'm saying) just to appear like I haven't forgotten my train of thought (when in reality I'm not really making sense because I HAVE lost my train of thought). :(