outdoor girl
03-14-2007, 12:53 PM
Hello all,
Just recently ended a relationship (after 14 months) with a man, who I had been friends with for 5 years previous. Never in a million years did I think he could be mentally ill! He has had problems sustaining relationships but that doesn't seem to be uncommon in this day and age!
My question is...after his displaying the following; dellusions, memory loss, religiousity, posting an ad on porn site (engaging in group sex), irritability, crying spells, shame, remorse, anger, spending sprees, he still hasn't received any medical help. He refuses to speak to me, as he stated that all I do is lecture him and no one else seems to be aware of his behaviour (he has few friends). I'm concerned, as he has four children that he cares for half of the month and they could be in danger because of his manic behaviour. Do I contact his ex-wife (and risk his anger) or do I keep quiet and hope that these episodes pass. They are currently going through a nasty divorce case.
Please help!
Just recently ended a relationship (after 14 months) with a man, who I had been friends with for 5 years previous. Never in a million years did I think he could be mentally ill! He has had problems sustaining relationships but that doesn't seem to be uncommon in this day and age!
My question is...after his displaying the following; dellusions, memory loss, religiousity, posting an ad on porn site (engaging in group sex), irritability, crying spells, shame, remorse, anger, spending sprees, he still hasn't received any medical help. He refuses to speak to me, as he stated that all I do is lecture him and no one else seems to be aware of his behaviour (he has few friends). I'm concerned, as he has four children that he cares for half of the month and they could be in danger because of his manic behaviour. Do I contact his ex-wife (and risk his anger) or do I keep quiet and hope that these episodes pass. They are currently going through a nasty divorce case.
Please help!
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bipolarbear
03-14-2007, 01:47 PM
Risk the anger and tell the other parent. When there are kids involved, who gives a darn if he gets mad. Doesn't sound like bipolar specifically, unless he has definitive cycles of mania followed by depression. In any regard, RUN!
outdoor girl
03-14-2007, 02:12 PM
I'm pretty sure (after reading extensively) that he is bipolar. So many other strange occurances and a definate period of depression before the mania took hold. I'm not worried about him getting mad, I'm worried that he may hurt me or my kids! And yes, I have run! And I'm not going back. Just worry about his kids (especially his youngest, an 8 year old girl). Could he be a danger to other kids visiting his house? Some of my friends kids hang out there. I don't mean to be rude, just starting to understand the illness. But could he be a danger sexually to kids? Or can he control this by indulging in *********** and the activities that site provides?
tsohl
03-14-2007, 03:00 PM
I think the short answer is "who knows?" It would be a rare incidence if something did happen, but one never knows. Manic episodes can result in violence. However, my favorite reference book states that "it should be strongly emphasized that most individuals with bipolar illness are no more dangerous than anyone else in the general population." If he drinks and is unmedicated, the possibility increases somewhat.
I would definitely tell the ex-wife, but I have a hard time believing she isn't already aware of this. It is not a healthy situation for his kids, if he is not in treatment.
I would definitely tell the ex-wife, but I have a hard time believing she isn't already aware of this. It is not a healthy situation for his kids, if he is not in treatment.
bipolarbear
03-14-2007, 03:00 PM
If you think he has ANY sexual inappropriateness, I wouldn't let kids around him. You are receiving red flags, and you need to pay attention to them, if you can. Your little inner voice who is making you question this person is usually right.
I've never read or learned that bipolar illness incorporates sexual inappropriateness; however, it could exacerbate some pre-existing tendencies. People with bipolar are absent any introspection or subjectivity about the illness; there is no rationale and they think what they are doing, etc. is completely within normal ranges. That is the part that scares me.
I've never read or learned that bipolar illness incorporates sexual inappropriateness; however, it could exacerbate some pre-existing tendencies. People with bipolar are absent any introspection or subjectivity about the illness; there is no rationale and they think what they are doing, etc. is completely within normal ranges. That is the part that scares me.
outdoor girl
03-14-2007, 03:35 PM
Thanks for your responses. It's been an extremely confusing time for me. I really just wanted to help him in the beginning but soon realized it's just a waste of time as long as he is in a manic state.
Yes, he's done some sexually inappropriate things and I guess as long as he's in this state he'll think that it's the norm. I'm still very nervous about approaching his ex but I will spread the word to other parents who's children frequent his house. It's hard as I still have feelings for him and I know he's ill, but I would feel awful if someone got hurt (besides me)!
This is such a great place to share. Thanks again.
Yes, he's done some sexually inappropriate things and I guess as long as he's in this state he'll think that it's the norm. I'm still very nervous about approaching his ex but I will spread the word to other parents who's children frequent his house. It's hard as I still have feelings for him and I know he's ill, but I would feel awful if someone got hurt (besides me)!
This is such a great place to share. Thanks again.