I sort of feel off the bandwagon on recovery. I had been doing really well and was really positive about recovery. Then I started overeating and purging occassionally, and now I've been struggling with purging almost everything I eat. But I came on here today sort of hopeless and apathetic, and I have to say that I feel so encouraged by reading how everyone is so encouraging to everyone else. It's really refreshing and has made me a bit more optimistic. Thanks!

manda,

Keep fighting the ED. Recovery really is worth it. You should read (or re-read) the thread titled "Motivation: benefits of recovery". I bumped it up so it is on the first page.

You have come so far making the decision to recover; now, you've got to follow through with actions. It won't happen all at once but hopefully, gradually, you will start acting out on ED behaviors less and less.

Remember, with the ED, there are really 3 outcomes: 1) You live with it your entire life, never to the point where it kills you but to the point where you are miserable all the same 2) you go into recovery 3) You die from the ED.

I do not believe it is possible at all to live with a full-blown ED and be happy. It just doesn't happen. I still have the ED thoughts after 5 years of recovery, but they do lessen with time, and I just don't act on them at all when I have them. That really is the key; have the thoughts, but don't listen to them. I am much, much happier now.

Good luck to you in your recovery! I'd better post this now because it is storming terribly outside and my lights keep flickering, so I may lose power at any moment!