EYESTWO22
03-15-2007, 12:05 PM
Well.. I have been thinking about this for a very long time.
It occured to me that about 95% of all Threads and Posts are from the Ladies. (that's OK).
The other 5% is from : Uued&Abused,EryFlynn,Michael178,Paulgarrett,a nd Mudhound (Bless Him). And Myself.
My point,here is this...
It seem that us men need to support each other more. Maybe we need our own little group. Yes.we think and react different then the Ladies do. They communicate on day to day issues. We,men, seem to tell the facts,and try to go on to resolve our problems with BPD. We do this when we respond to you Ladies,too.
So... I will open this Thread up to all the Men (Only 5 that I count in the last 3 months).
And ..To all the Ladies (To many to name) ;)
Men,Look foward to your responces...
Ladies... As Goody says...."Chime In Here"...we need your comments and support.....tooooo
Help me to ..Carry On..
And.. as U&A always says....God Bless:)
Eyes
It occured to me that about 95% of all Threads and Posts are from the Ladies. (that's OK).
The other 5% is from : Uued&Abused,EryFlynn,Michael178,Paulgarrett,a nd Mudhound (Bless Him). And Myself.
My point,here is this...
It seem that us men need to support each other more. Maybe we need our own little group. Yes.we think and react different then the Ladies do. They communicate on day to day issues. We,men, seem to tell the facts,and try to go on to resolve our problems with BPD. We do this when we respond to you Ladies,too.
So... I will open this Thread up to all the Men (Only 5 that I count in the last 3 months).
And ..To all the Ladies (To many to name) ;)
Men,Look foward to your responces...
Ladies... As Goody says...."Chime In Here"...we need your comments and support.....tooooo
Help me to ..Carry On..
And.. as U&A always says....God Bless:)
Eyes
Sponsor
michael178
03-15-2007, 12:25 PM
I try to have certain rules for myself in posting. Of course, I break my own rules. otherwise it would not be fun to have them. But I try not to be a doctor, to tell people what drugs they should take etc. I don't know enough about drugs to it anyway. And I try to be as factual as I can, to relay what I've gotten from reading on the subject or from talking to knowledgeable sources.
the other thing is that I am not bipolar, so I am not one of the soldiers fighting their disease, I am just a water carrier.
And I am an old guy, 66, with a son living with me wife and I who is bipolar. I have a fatal disease that has eaten away about half of my brain, so I am familiar which brain fog, forgetting etc. This disease though affects my vision, my balance, my ability to swallow, to talk and a lot of other things.
I am a regular on other boards and like to contribute the best I can. My one complaint about people who post is that they take their own experiences and think that that experience somehow applies to others. I applaud the cheerleaders and sympathizers but am not one of them nor do I want to be.
the other thing is that I am not bipolar, so I am not one of the soldiers fighting their disease, I am just a water carrier.
And I am an old guy, 66, with a son living with me wife and I who is bipolar. I have a fatal disease that has eaten away about half of my brain, so I am familiar which brain fog, forgetting etc. This disease though affects my vision, my balance, my ability to swallow, to talk and a lot of other things.
I am a regular on other boards and like to contribute the best I can. My one complaint about people who post is that they take their own experiences and think that that experience somehow applies to others. I applaud the cheerleaders and sympathizers but am not one of them nor do I want to be.
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 12:44 PM
I agree men need to be more involved, I should have been more involved from the start in her therapy and if she gives me another chance I will. Sadly right now I am not with her, and just trying to understand, and to learn. If we get back together I will likely be a regular her til the doors close or I pass on. It is nice to get some insight into how some one with Bipolar Disorder thinks and feels, and nice to hear from others that love some one dealing with the illness.
I agree with Michael, I don't want to tell people what to take or not to take, but encourage them to learn and talk to their doctor. And if their doctor can't give them good answers to consider a second opinion. I feel you need a good relationship to work well with them. I do know that from experience, I had some mental illness issues when I was a child, that I was lucky were curable, and that I got that help I needed. Was a long hard road for me, my parents pushed me off to get help from others and blamed me. This is another reason I won't just walk away on my love. I know what it is like to be blamed and left hanging by yourself. If we get together I am going to have a long talk with her, and tell her what I went through, the dark dirty details I never told any one. From listening to a few people talk about their disorder, I think it might help her understand that I can sympathize more than she might think.
Also any help in opening communication between her and I, and rekindling the love are always welcome. I am hoping she is in class tonight and in a good mood, returning her book on bipolar, and showing her how far in I am might be a good start. I am on page 182 of Taming Bipolar Disorder by Lori Oliwenstein. I also have books on order.
Sorry if I rambled a bit. I do tend to agree we men do come at things different, and I think that is also why we tend to naturally be the worst at supporting some one with Bipolar. We want to fix it, and that can't be done. It has to be nurtured, warmed, held, and comforted.
I agree with Michael, I don't want to tell people what to take or not to take, but encourage them to learn and talk to their doctor. And if their doctor can't give them good answers to consider a second opinion. I feel you need a good relationship to work well with them. I do know that from experience, I had some mental illness issues when I was a child, that I was lucky were curable, and that I got that help I needed. Was a long hard road for me, my parents pushed me off to get help from others and blamed me. This is another reason I won't just walk away on my love. I know what it is like to be blamed and left hanging by yourself. If we get together I am going to have a long talk with her, and tell her what I went through, the dark dirty details I never told any one. From listening to a few people talk about their disorder, I think it might help her understand that I can sympathize more than she might think.
Also any help in opening communication between her and I, and rekindling the love are always welcome. I am hoping she is in class tonight and in a good mood, returning her book on bipolar, and showing her how far in I am might be a good start. I am on page 182 of Taming Bipolar Disorder by Lori Oliwenstein. I also have books on order.
Sorry if I rambled a bit. I do tend to agree we men do come at things different, and I think that is also why we tend to naturally be the worst at supporting some one with Bipolar. We want to fix it, and that can't be done. It has to be nurtured, warmed, held, and comforted.
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 01:11 PM
Okay, Goody here as requested, ready to report to duty.;)
Yes , I am guilty as charged....I come here and I get advice and I offer just as much. I am no doctor, nor am I Bipolar, but I AM fighting the same fight as I try to find the stability for my daughter. It is a nasty and grueling fight, and as a mother a very difficult one. I am fighting twice a hard knowing that this is the time I have to set the foundation of stability for my daughter so that she can continue to fight this for the rest of her life.
Anyway....I have learned here from others and have spent an abundance of time researching and reading and gathering as much information as I can about Bipolar. I do this mainly to help my daughter as her mom and greatest advocate to finding the stability that she needs. And I do it knowing that I am fighting against an hourglass of time that lessens each day as she approaches her 18th birthday. And as I travel this road I seem to have met many more here who are either fighting the same battle for themselves or for somebody that they love. If there is something that I have experienced firsthand or read about that may be helpful in that fight I share it. And if there is something somebody else has to share that may help me I grab onto it.
That is the beauty of this board....we come here seeking knolwedge, comfort, support and the gift of knowing that even through cyberspace there are others who are walking in our two shoes or in the shoes of the one that we love & care about.
I am here to learn about BP from both perspectives.....from the one who is afflicted with the disorder so that I could better understand what it is that my daughter is feeling AND as a non-BPer who struggles to support and live with somebody who has BP. For me it is a double battle so to speak,;)
I will be the first to admit that my posts are somewhat wordy but I am a woman of the heart and soul who offers whatever I have whether it be love, compassion, knowledge, prayers or even a (((HUG))), whatever it may be to make another human being who is hurting, suffering, scared, or just plain tired and give them some hope or perhaps share some experience or knowledge that I have. And selfishly, I receive the same.:angel:
Anyway, Eyes....this is a great thread and I will be happy to be a willing and active participant but I cannot promise that my fingers will be any less apt to tap on these keys, however, I can promise to do all that I have described above for you and anybody else who frequents this board.;)
When you start a thread, Eyes, it is always full of hope and faith the two things each of us are looking for here.
I am glad that you have your male thread and so graciously invited us ladies to be an active part of it. I am hoping that it will attract more of the male posters who are light on the fingers so to speak.:D
(((HUGS))) to all ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
(ooops I did it again!!!:blob_fire :D :jester: )
Yes , I am guilty as charged....I come here and I get advice and I offer just as much. I am no doctor, nor am I Bipolar, but I AM fighting the same fight as I try to find the stability for my daughter. It is a nasty and grueling fight, and as a mother a very difficult one. I am fighting twice a hard knowing that this is the time I have to set the foundation of stability for my daughter so that she can continue to fight this for the rest of her life.
Anyway....I have learned here from others and have spent an abundance of time researching and reading and gathering as much information as I can about Bipolar. I do this mainly to help my daughter as her mom and greatest advocate to finding the stability that she needs. And I do it knowing that I am fighting against an hourglass of time that lessens each day as she approaches her 18th birthday. And as I travel this road I seem to have met many more here who are either fighting the same battle for themselves or for somebody that they love. If there is something that I have experienced firsthand or read about that may be helpful in that fight I share it. And if there is something somebody else has to share that may help me I grab onto it.
That is the beauty of this board....we come here seeking knolwedge, comfort, support and the gift of knowing that even through cyberspace there are others who are walking in our two shoes or in the shoes of the one that we love & care about.
I am here to learn about BP from both perspectives.....from the one who is afflicted with the disorder so that I could better understand what it is that my daughter is feeling AND as a non-BPer who struggles to support and live with somebody who has BP. For me it is a double battle so to speak,;)
I will be the first to admit that my posts are somewhat wordy but I am a woman of the heart and soul who offers whatever I have whether it be love, compassion, knowledge, prayers or even a (((HUG))), whatever it may be to make another human being who is hurting, suffering, scared, or just plain tired and give them some hope or perhaps share some experience or knowledge that I have. And selfishly, I receive the same.:angel:
Anyway, Eyes....this is a great thread and I will be happy to be a willing and active participant but I cannot promise that my fingers will be any less apt to tap on these keys, however, I can promise to do all that I have described above for you and anybody else who frequents this board.;)
When you start a thread, Eyes, it is always full of hope and faith the two things each of us are looking for here.
I am glad that you have your male thread and so graciously invited us ladies to be an active part of it. I am hoping that it will attract more of the male posters who are light on the fingers so to speak.:D
(((HUGS))) to all ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
(ooops I did it again!!!:blob_fire :D :jester: )
tsohl
03-15-2007, 01:17 PM
Well, just like EYES so wisely stated, "we think and act different than the ladies do."
In the first 4 posts, this has been confirmed already!!
Good idea, EYES.
You guys carry on.
;) Tsohl
In the first 4 posts, this has been confirmed already!!
Good idea, EYES.
You guys carry on.
;) Tsohl
marshmallow
03-15-2007, 03:21 PM
I, for one am very interested in the male point of view mainly because I have never understood my husband. I don't know if its because he is bp/and other or if we as men and women are just different Thank you.
marshmallow
03-15-2007, 04:41 PM
I do have a question for the men mainly those that are bp but anyone can answer and I will appreciate it. When my husband and I were living together and he got angry or raged for long periods of time I have said you need help. When I said that he would go completely crazy so my question is was that a terrible thing to say? I have tried everything to get this man to get help and at times I would be so frustrated that those words slipped out and I have said "you are sick get help." Those were really not good things to say were they? Any input?
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 04:49 PM
Coming from a man, not some one who is bipolar, I would say that it is not a good way. We men tend to be proud and don't take flat demands like that would come across as well. I would rather a man who is dealing with this also answer, but I would ask him to please see some one, to see a doctor. It may take more than that, but I think that is a good start.
oldrocker
03-15-2007, 05:04 PM
"you are sick get help." Those were really not good things to say were they? Any input?
Coming from a man that is BP, I never liked my wife telling me that I was sick and needed help. I guess it was a pride thing, but I always got mad when she said it. Another reason I think we get mad is because we don't want to feel that we aren't "normal". Until I hit bottom and my marriage was in trouble I never wanted help. But during marriage counseling I was told that I needed to be treated for whatever ailment I was suffering from first. He recommended me to a specialist that diagnosed me as bipolar one, started me on lamictal and I am feeling better than I ever have, and I mean EVER have. It has saved my marriage. It is a tragedy that someone that is sick won"t get help. There is a better life if they will get the proper treatment.
Coming from a man that is BP, I never liked my wife telling me that I was sick and needed help. I guess it was a pride thing, but I always got mad when she said it. Another reason I think we get mad is because we don't want to feel that we aren't "normal". Until I hit bottom and my marriage was in trouble I never wanted help. But during marriage counseling I was told that I needed to be treated for whatever ailment I was suffering from first. He recommended me to a specialist that diagnosed me as bipolar one, started me on lamictal and I am feeling better than I ever have, and I mean EVER have. It has saved my marriage. It is a tragedy that someone that is sick won"t get help. There is a better life if they will get the proper treatment.
marshmallow
03-15-2007, 05:18 PM
I realize that I might of been wrong when I said it but it was always after he had punched a hole in the wall, damaged some property or screamed at me for not understanding something he said. Now that it looks like we are going to divorce I wish I had known better how to deal with this stuff. Things had gotten so bad I had to call the police several times and all they did was make him stay away for the night. He has seen several pdoc and tdoc and even had a brain spect all saying he had a mood disorder and some other thing wrong too. We also had counseling and it turned out terrible with the pdoc thinking we only had relationship problems. I guess I have so many regrets and wish we could of worked things out. Tell me how I could better reacted to him? I really want to learn sometimes we women are at a loss.
marshmallow
03-15-2007, 05:20 PM
P.S. Old rocker I like your name.
rishi
03-15-2007, 06:20 PM
hi eyes...i too wish the m/f balance was more equal. i am glad you are here, and am grateful for your posts....and so, my friend, as i always say....carry on, rishi
EYESTWO22
03-15-2007, 11:07 PM
"you are sick get help." Those were really not good things to say were they? Any input?
Coming from a man that is BP, I never liked my wife telling me that I was sick and needed help. I guess it was a pride thing, but I always got mad when she said it. Another reason I think we get mad is because we don't want to feel that we aren't "normal". Until I hit bottom and my marriage was in trouble I never wanted help. But during marriage counseling I was told that I needed to be treated for whatever ailment I was suffering from first. He recommended me to a specialist that diagnosed me as bipolar one, started me on lamictal and I am feeling better than I ever have, and I mean EVER have. It has saved my marriage. It is a tragedy that someone that is sick won"t get help. There is a better life if they will get the proper treatment.
Hey, great to have you on board with the Men...Old Rocker.
Also, Eryl and Michael.
Ladies too, Goody, T,Marsh and Rishi..thanks for droping by with your support to us Guys.
Michael, age means nothing here, I'm 65. And now we have Old Rocker :)
So now we have : Old Rocker,and myself that are BPer.
Michael and Eryl are non BPers,
I see already some great dialog with the Ladies. They seem to want our thoughts on how to deal with men who have BPD. Some of Eryl and Rockers comment are to the "Point" of. how men feel and deal with BPD.
Guys keep it up. Ladies please continue to ask.
I hope U&A and Paulgarrett wil join us fellows for their input.
For Eryl, Old Rocker,and Michael ... click in EYESTWO22 for my past Posts and Threads for a little of my background. I will share more later on with this Thread.
Carry On..
Eyes
Coming from a man that is BP, I never liked my wife telling me that I was sick and needed help. I guess it was a pride thing, but I always got mad when she said it. Another reason I think we get mad is because we don't want to feel that we aren't "normal". Until I hit bottom and my marriage was in trouble I never wanted help. But during marriage counseling I was told that I needed to be treated for whatever ailment I was suffering from first. He recommended me to a specialist that diagnosed me as bipolar one, started me on lamictal and I am feeling better than I ever have, and I mean EVER have. It has saved my marriage. It is a tragedy that someone that is sick won"t get help. There is a better life if they will get the proper treatment.
Hey, great to have you on board with the Men...Old Rocker.
Also, Eryl and Michael.
Ladies too, Goody, T,Marsh and Rishi..thanks for droping by with your support to us Guys.
Michael, age means nothing here, I'm 65. And now we have Old Rocker :)
So now we have : Old Rocker,and myself that are BPer.
Michael and Eryl are non BPers,
I see already some great dialog with the Ladies. They seem to want our thoughts on how to deal with men who have BPD. Some of Eryl and Rockers comment are to the "Point" of. how men feel and deal with BPD.
Guys keep it up. Ladies please continue to ask.
I hope U&A and Paulgarrett wil join us fellows for their input.
For Eryl, Old Rocker,and Michael ... click in EYESTWO22 for my past Posts and Threads for a little of my background. I will share more later on with this Thread.
Carry On..
Eyes
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 11:14 PM
Yep, not a BPer, though with the stress of not knowing and what I am going through I may be a bit unipole at the moment, plan to see the doc as soon as insurance allows to get some meds to help recover and stabilize. Even those of us who are not directly affected may still need time, support and medicine to recover so we can be there for those we love.
I am starting to apply for jobs again, I am temp at the moment and insurance was just offered and not cheap. I am looking to get a job I like and that will give me insurance. Figure it might be important to be able to get her on my insurance down the line, that and I need to do what I can to have my life a rock for her if she comes back. Love to hear comments on what I noticed and had happen tonight in my hard times post.
I am starting to apply for jobs again, I am temp at the moment and insurance was just offered and not cheap. I am looking to get a job I like and that will give me insurance. Figure it might be important to be able to get her on my insurance down the line, that and I need to do what I can to have my life a rock for her if she comes back. Love to hear comments on what I noticed and had happen tonight in my hard times post.
emeraldeyes114
03-16-2007, 04:41 AM
On my father's side of the family there are three generations of Bipolars. On my mother's there are issues but they are unknown. I do see the differences in how the disease affects me versus my dad or son. They both seem to hold everything back and in unless it is rage, violence, and the like. Where as I tend to be a bit more emotional in the opposite direction. I had not thought much about it till I read this read. Eyes it is an interesting one and yes the differences in some ways are quite apparent.
I, too, look for information, encouragement (not so much directed toward something I say but in the posts to others that I read), and support. Sometimes just someone saying something who isn't in the thick of things helps to make it a bit clearer especially if the situation is highly emotional or volitile in some way.
I am eager to see what others think as time goes on the thread grows.
Emerald
I, too, look for information, encouragement (not so much directed toward something I say but in the posts to others that I read), and support. Sometimes just someone saying something who isn't in the thick of things helps to make it a bit clearer especially if the situation is highly emotional or volitile in some way.
I am eager to see what others think as time goes on the thread grows.
Emerald
NutshellNutter
03-16-2007, 05:46 AM
Message for Goody.... in response to your post....
Yes , I am guilty as charged....I come here and I get advice and I offer just as much. I am no doctor, nor am I Bipolar, but I AM fighting the same fight as I try to find the stability for my daughter. It is a nasty and grueling fight, and as a mother a very difficult one. I am fighting twice a hard knowing that this is the time I have to set the foundation of stability for my daughter so that she can continue to fight this for the rest of her life.
Your daughter is very lucky. I don't have a mum, and have no parental relationship with my father..... I reallly wish I had a mum like you, someone who would unconditionally be there for me, fight with me, give me a shoulder to lean on when I needed it, all unconcditionally.
Yes , I am guilty as charged....I come here and I get advice and I offer just as much. I am no doctor, nor am I Bipolar, but I AM fighting the same fight as I try to find the stability for my daughter. It is a nasty and grueling fight, and as a mother a very difficult one. I am fighting twice a hard knowing that this is the time I have to set the foundation of stability for my daughter so that she can continue to fight this for the rest of her life.
Your daughter is very lucky. I don't have a mum, and have no parental relationship with my father..... I reallly wish I had a mum like you, someone who would unconditionally be there for me, fight with me, give me a shoulder to lean on when I needed it, all unconcditionally.
EYESTWO22
03-16-2007, 09:26 AM
On my father's side of the family there are three generations of Bipolars. On my mother's there are issues but they are unknown. I do see the differences in how the disease affects me versus my dad or son. They both seem to hold everything back and in unless it is rage, violence, and the like. Where as I tend to be a bit more emotional in the opposite direction. I had not thought much about it till I read this read. Eyes it is an interesting one and yes the differences in some ways are quite apparent.
I, too, look for information, encouragement (not so much directed toward something I say but in the posts to others that I read), and support. Sometimes just someone saying something who isn't in the thick of things helps to make it a bit clearer especially if the situation is highly emotional or volitile in some way.
I am eager to see what others think as time goes on the thread grows.
Emerald
Emerald :
Glad you posted your thoughts,here.
Your right about Ladies,they tend to be more on the emotional side when their moods are "swinging"; they need alot of talking things through to find some answers with dealing woth BPD.
BP Men,when they are "swinging", need action, and little talk or suggestion from their loved one. If they don't get the action, they will rage and sadly resort to vilence. (when in a manic state).
So.. maybe I have repeated what you already know....Coming from someone else...may help.
I'm also eger to hear from Other BP Men. And NonBP Men. Some have posted already on this thread, others like U&A, Paulgarrett, and Mudhound; we are a waiting responces..........where are you ,Guys.
Carry On,
Eyes
I, too, look for information, encouragement (not so much directed toward something I say but in the posts to others that I read), and support. Sometimes just someone saying something who isn't in the thick of things helps to make it a bit clearer especially if the situation is highly emotional or volitile in some way.
I am eager to see what others think as time goes on the thread grows.
Emerald
Emerald :
Glad you posted your thoughts,here.
Your right about Ladies,they tend to be more on the emotional side when their moods are "swinging"; they need alot of talking things through to find some answers with dealing woth BPD.
BP Men,when they are "swinging", need action, and little talk or suggestion from their loved one. If they don't get the action, they will rage and sadly resort to vilence. (when in a manic state).
So.. maybe I have repeated what you already know....Coming from someone else...may help.
I'm also eger to hear from Other BP Men. And NonBP Men. Some have posted already on this thread, others like U&A, Paulgarrett, and Mudhound; we are a waiting responces..........where are you ,Guys.
Carry On,
Eyes
jewelies
03-16-2007, 02:46 PM
Great thread- Eyes-this is the reason I come to this board. I learn so much
You said:
Your right about Ladies,they tend to be more on the emotional side when their moods are "swinging"; they need alot of talking things through to find some answers with dealing woth BPD.
BP Men,when they are "swinging", need action, and little talk or suggestion from their loved one. If they don't get the action, they will rage and sadly resort to vilence. (when in a manic state).
I have 2 bi-polar men in my life-a 13 year old, and my Husband/boyfriend-we are technically divorced. Men handle things really differently, and with that each personality underlying BP handled things differently of course, so when I share my experiences it's often cathartic, but also sparks advice that I wouldn't have thought of playing a part. Thanks everyone.
You said:
Your right about Ladies,they tend to be more on the emotional side when their moods are "swinging"; they need alot of talking things through to find some answers with dealing woth BPD.
BP Men,when they are "swinging", need action, and little talk or suggestion from their loved one. If they don't get the action, they will rage and sadly resort to vilence. (when in a manic state).
I have 2 bi-polar men in my life-a 13 year old, and my Husband/boyfriend-we are technically divorced. Men handle things really differently, and with that each personality underlying BP handled things differently of course, so when I share my experiences it's often cathartic, but also sparks advice that I wouldn't have thought of playing a part. Thanks everyone.
oldrocker
03-16-2007, 06:09 PM
I realize that I might of been wrong when I said it but it was always after he had punched a hole in the wall, damaged some property or screamed at me for not understanding something he said. Now that it looks like we are going to divorce I wish I had known better how to deal with this stuff. Things had gotten so bad I had to call the police several times and all they did was make him stay away for the night. He has seen several pdoc and tdoc and even had a brain spect all saying he had a mood disorder and some other thing wrong too. We also had counseling and it turned out terrible with the pdoc thinking we only had relationship problems. I guess I have so many regrets and wish we could of worked things out. Tell me how I could better reacted to him? I really want to learn sometimes we women are at a loss.
I wouldn't say that you were wrong, being that he truly does need help. I would say he does need help in controlling his destructiveness. I would say if he had the right medication, he could have a better life. I say that from experience. I know I've said it, but I can't say it enough, so far Lamictal has made me feel alive in a way that I have never felt before. Unfortunately for you, there is really no "better way" to react to someone that is being unreasonable. Ultimately he has to decide he needs help, and there is really nothing you can do. Tom
I wouldn't say that you were wrong, being that he truly does need help. I would say he does need help in controlling his destructiveness. I would say if he had the right medication, he could have a better life. I say that from experience. I know I've said it, but I can't say it enough, so far Lamictal has made me feel alive in a way that I have never felt before. Unfortunately for you, there is really no "better way" to react to someone that is being unreasonable. Ultimately he has to decide he needs help, and there is really nothing you can do. Tom
NutshellNutter
03-16-2007, 06:23 PM
[QUOTE=jewelies;2862411]Great thread- Eyes-this is the reason I come to this board. I learn so much
You said:
Your right about Ladies,they tend to be more on the emotional side when their moods are "swinging"; they need alot of talking things through to find some answers with dealing woth BPD.
BP Men,when they are "swinging", need action, and little talk or suggestion from their loved one. If they don't get the action, they will rage and sadly resort to vilence. (when in a manic state).
QUOTE]
I am a BP female, but yet, I react how you have described men, and not woman as reacting - evidence that there is no generic law to the behaviours of BP's I guess.
When I am swinging 'up' the last thing I want is talk, even from my loved one. What I WANT, NEED, is action - hurt, drama, rage, violence... that is what my manic is alll about - no talk here.
When I am depressed, all I want to do is to recoil into myself, no room for talk, no room for my loved one - just me...
anyone else?
You said:
Your right about Ladies,they tend to be more on the emotional side when their moods are "swinging"; they need alot of talking things through to find some answers with dealing woth BPD.
BP Men,when they are "swinging", need action, and little talk or suggestion from their loved one. If they don't get the action, they will rage and sadly resort to vilence. (when in a manic state).
QUOTE]
I am a BP female, but yet, I react how you have described men, and not woman as reacting - evidence that there is no generic law to the behaviours of BP's I guess.
When I am swinging 'up' the last thing I want is talk, even from my loved one. What I WANT, NEED, is action - hurt, drama, rage, violence... that is what my manic is alll about - no talk here.
When I am depressed, all I want to do is to recoil into myself, no room for talk, no room for my loved one - just me...
anyone else?
marshmallow
03-16-2007, 06:31 PM
My husband not only raged but he took most things I said differently than I meant them to be. I wonder if that is part of the lack of insight some bp have? I guess I am trying to deal with guilt because I keep wondering if I could of done things differently. I appreciate all replies.
oldrocker
03-16-2007, 07:04 PM
My wife bought a book called Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder by Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston, PSY.D. I have read some of the book and I think it will give you the insight you are looking for, Marshmallow. Tom
rishi
03-16-2007, 07:52 PM
eyes and guys and everyone; great thread. i have a " fix it " question....i'm a computer newbie. how do i find paulgaretts posts/threads here? i have gone all the way back and haven't found a thread.
also a fix it; if one can do nothing 'til bottoming-out, hoe do they ever find out what is going on with-in them? many men obviously hate being told...so what to do??
pease don't say Just carrry on..(joker symbol)...rishi
also a fix it; if one can do nothing 'til bottoming-out, hoe do they ever find out what is going on with-in them? many men obviously hate being told...so what to do??
pease don't say Just carrry on..(joker symbol)...rishi
marshmallow
03-16-2007, 09:26 PM
I will check out that book, Tom thank you for the suggestion.
EYESTWO22
03-17-2007, 07:14 AM
My wife bought a book called Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder by Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston, PSY.D. I have read some of the book and I think it will give you the insight you are looking for, Marshmallow. Tom
Tom,Your male insight is just what I was hoping for on this Thread. I'm glad you have deceided to particpate. Marsh,Rashi,and Nutshell, are asking some good queations about Us BPers. I tend to give advice toward trying to acheive stability and then building a solid foundation on staying there. I would suggest that everone on this thread (and on this board), look into bpMagazine. It is a magazine for people with BPD. Their mission is Hope and Harmony for prople with Bipolar. BTW,Julie A.Fast is a regular writer for this magazine. She is a BPer that has spent her life developing methods on dealing with BPD. Also..Yours truly has an article in the winter issue:"Five Generations..understanding the past..buliding the furtue." I have always felt that building your edication and knowledge is the ultimate answer in dealing with BPD. Of course,proper meds and tharapy is needed !
Rsihi : You asked about Paulgarrett. I have suggested that he start particpiting on this thread,also. He is a BPer that has experienced life to the fullest. He "gets" to the point on how he deals with BPD. His most resent posts are in the Thread "coming down from space", I beleive started by TigerLilly?. You can go to this Thread,find Paulgarrett..and Click on has name at the top of his post. This will give you choices to visit his posts and his threads.. ( Oh...;) the :jester: will Carry On).
ErylFlynn(Brett). I see you have your hands full with a certain poaster,on your "Hard Times" Thread. I can truly understand,your reasons for pursuing your girlfriend. She does need (your) help and support. I think that all Ladies on this Board can learn from your posts,to your BP girlfriend, and your undieing Love for her.
Looing foward for feedback...and
Carry On..
Eyes
Tom,Your male insight is just what I was hoping for on this Thread. I'm glad you have deceided to particpate. Marsh,Rashi,and Nutshell, are asking some good queations about Us BPers. I tend to give advice toward trying to acheive stability and then building a solid foundation on staying there. I would suggest that everone on this thread (and on this board), look into bpMagazine. It is a magazine for people with BPD. Their mission is Hope and Harmony for prople with Bipolar. BTW,Julie A.Fast is a regular writer for this magazine. She is a BPer that has spent her life developing methods on dealing with BPD. Also..Yours truly has an article in the winter issue:"Five Generations..understanding the past..buliding the furtue." I have always felt that building your edication and knowledge is the ultimate answer in dealing with BPD. Of course,proper meds and tharapy is needed !
Rsihi : You asked about Paulgarrett. I have suggested that he start particpiting on this thread,also. He is a BPer that has experienced life to the fullest. He "gets" to the point on how he deals with BPD. His most resent posts are in the Thread "coming down from space", I beleive started by TigerLilly?. You can go to this Thread,find Paulgarrett..and Click on has name at the top of his post. This will give you choices to visit his posts and his threads.. ( Oh...;) the :jester: will Carry On).
ErylFlynn(Brett). I see you have your hands full with a certain poaster,on your "Hard Times" Thread. I can truly understand,your reasons for pursuing your girlfriend. She does need (your) help and support. I think that all Ladies on this Board can learn from your posts,to your BP girlfriend, and your undieing Love for her.
Looing foward for feedback...and
Carry On..
Eyes
rishi
03-17-2007, 07:24 PM
clear eyes, thanks. i will be going to buy good books for me, and pass out copies to all of my son,sean's, spouse, family, etc.
also, what is the name of the bp-er's magazine and where do i find it?
will be learning (thank you) from paul; glad for new computer skill...i really appreciate your help. hope you are well, sending you angelw/wings to help carry on....fondly, rishi
also, what is the name of the bp-er's magazine and where do i find it?
will be learning (thank you) from paul; glad for new computer skill...i really appreciate your help. hope you are well, sending you angelw/wings to help carry on....fondly, rishi
marshmallow
03-17-2007, 10:07 PM
I hope this thread keeps going.
EYESTWO22
03-17-2007, 10:26 PM
You may look to find this magazine called:bpmagazine ..a magazine for hopeand harmonyfor people with bipolar.It is devoteted to ,BPD,and is at ( REMOVED) So if you really want to find out more,this the place to look. You can even consider to take out a sub.to the magazine. Some BPer have found the answer to how to deal with their own problems. They talk about Bper who are trying to deal with their marrage problems.and some Bpers that have succeeded. Really up lifting stories. Your's truly, even has a story about Five Gererations-understaning the past-building toward the furture. I hope you can continue to support for your son,sean's spouse and the whole family. I have always felt that education and knowledge is the total answer to dealing with BPD.
So Here's wising you good researsh to better knowledge.
Carry On..
Eyes
So Here's wising you good researsh to better knowledge.
Carry On..
Eyes
EYESTWO22
03-17-2007, 10:32 PM
I hope this thread keeps going.
Dear Marsh, Oh Dear Marsh :
I truly hope this Tread and all Threads keep Going....
For your sake and all people like you who try their best to deal with this "BPD" problem...God Bless them All.....:) :) :) :) :) :)
Perhaps the the answer is in the "Stars".
we need to ...
Carry On..
Eyes
Dear Marsh, Oh Dear Marsh :
I truly hope this Tread and all Threads keep Going....
For your sake and all people like you who try their best to deal with this "BPD" problem...God Bless them All.....:) :) :) :) :) :)
Perhaps the the answer is in the "Stars".
we need to ...
Carry On..
Eyes
ErylFlynn
03-17-2007, 11:33 PM
Wether she needs my support or not, she is an adult and refuses it. I can not change that, thanks to the pain I caused her. All I can do is try not to cause any more.
I don't understand why you feel she needs my support. She has some friends and a new boyfriend that are helping her through this. I had my chance and screwed it up bad.
I don't understand why you feel she needs my support. She has some friends and a new boyfriend that are helping her through this. I had my chance and screwed it up bad.
EYESTWO22
03-18-2007, 09:42 AM
Wether she needs my support or not, she is an adult and refuses it. I can not change that, thanks to the pain I caused her. All I can do is try not to cause any more.
I don't understand why you feel she needs my support. She has some friends and a new boyfriend that are helping her through this. I had my chance and screwed it up bad.
You gave her support because All BPers need support from a loved one. You tried and possibiliy have lost. Remember "no pain to gain". She may have some new "friends" now,however,she does not have stability. And she has choose not too. It might be that she is the one that screwed up "bad"
Carry on,
Eyes
I don't understand why you feel she needs my support. She has some friends and a new boyfriend that are helping her through this. I had my chance and screwed it up bad.
You gave her support because All BPers need support from a loved one. You tried and possibiliy have lost. Remember "no pain to gain". She may have some new "friends" now,however,she does not have stability. And she has choose not too. It might be that she is the one that screwed up "bad"
Carry on,
Eyes
ErylFlynn
03-18-2007, 02:00 PM
You could be right, you understand what she is going through better than I can. I still don't think that I did my best, I feel there was more I could have done, I should have asked for space, relationship counselling, some thing to try and bridge the gap between us.
marshmallow
03-18-2007, 05:20 PM
ErylFlyn how are you doing today?
ErylFlynn
03-18-2007, 05:22 PM
Tired, still down, still miss her. Confused also. Eyes said some thing about her needing me, and he said he read what she wrote. I don't understand at all, she says and acts like she needs space and me away from her, and Eyes says that is not what she needs.
nataliejo
03-18-2007, 06:24 PM
My first relationship ...and everyone after that were all with Bpers and I am a Bper ... it was rather odd ...we just never got along ...
They seem to get more stable... althought my first bf got worse and always blamed me for our problems ...he even blamed me for his grades one year when I wasnt around .. I guess he just didnt want to tell him grandparents he fluked ... but I wasnt even at school that year ... I went back the next year and there was a whole new atmosphere. ...one that made me sick ...people were telling him lies ...which he later told me ...whilst telling me he was borderline and bipolar ...
He started cutting himself and almost starting burning himself and I was concerned ..this was when he contacted me after four years ...one thing I noticed was once we got back together he was afraid to be with me ...dont know why ... maybe he didnt understand I had changed .. I was on meds .. I was understanding toward him .. I used to cut and tried to tell him he really needed to becareful because he would never know when he would reach an artery or a vein and bleed to death ...but he was scared of commitment ..
we stayed friends and he would tell me everything about his other relationships and he always blamed them for their mistakes and never saw how he pushed them away and drove them crazy with his attitudes ...
he now is with some girl and I really hope it works out for them ...
I hope he makes it through ..but the relationship looks like it is going in the same directions as the others ..too bad ..I really hope he gets himself taken care of ..hmm ...
anyway
later
always
natalie jo
They seem to get more stable... althought my first bf got worse and always blamed me for our problems ...he even blamed me for his grades one year when I wasnt around .. I guess he just didnt want to tell him grandparents he fluked ... but I wasnt even at school that year ... I went back the next year and there was a whole new atmosphere. ...one that made me sick ...people were telling him lies ...which he later told me ...whilst telling me he was borderline and bipolar ...
He started cutting himself and almost starting burning himself and I was concerned ..this was when he contacted me after four years ...one thing I noticed was once we got back together he was afraid to be with me ...dont know why ... maybe he didnt understand I had changed .. I was on meds .. I was understanding toward him .. I used to cut and tried to tell him he really needed to becareful because he would never know when he would reach an artery or a vein and bleed to death ...but he was scared of commitment ..
we stayed friends and he would tell me everything about his other relationships and he always blamed them for their mistakes and never saw how he pushed them away and drove them crazy with his attitudes ...
he now is with some girl and I really hope it works out for them ...
I hope he makes it through ..but the relationship looks like it is going in the same directions as the others ..too bad ..I really hope he gets himself taken care of ..hmm ...
anyway
later
always
natalie jo
nataliejo
03-18-2007, 06:28 PM
Tired, still down, still miss her. Confused also. Eyes said some thing about her needing me, and he said he read what she wrote. I don't understand at all, she says and acts like she needs space and me away from her, and Eyes says that is not what she needs.
ITs probably because she doesnt want to admit she needs you ..
I notice I try to defrag my bf ...and tell him I dont need him to prove that I dont need him ..when sometimes I just do ...
just to prove "Hey, I can make it on my own!"
and thats where some of us mess up ..we push away the people that love us the most. .
I hope things get better for you
always ..
natalie jo
ITs probably because she doesnt want to admit she needs you ..
I notice I try to defrag my bf ...and tell him I dont need him to prove that I dont need him ..when sometimes I just do ...
just to prove "Hey, I can make it on my own!"
and thats where some of us mess up ..we push away the people that love us the most. .
I hope things get better for you
always ..
natalie jo
ErylFlynn
03-18-2007, 06:45 PM
Thanks, I think she does feel the need to prove she doesn't need me. And in a way she doesn't. She got her own place, has lived on her own before and can and is again. I think she misunderstood need, it isn't about possesions. It is about love, friendship, intimacy. In a way I need her, even with the stress from not understanding what was going on, being hurt, I was still happier with her here near me. I loved cooking for her, taking care of her when she felt bad. Take when she started Depakote, it really bothered her stomach. I made her quite a few cups of peppermint tea, which gave her some relief. She can take care of herself, but who wants to live their life like that? I want to take care of some one, and have them there to take care of me when I need it. I admit she may not be able to take care of me as much due to her illness, but that is some thing we can't control or change. I don't know if I can ever fully close the door on her, months, years later if she came back to me, kissed me, I would likely drop everything to be there with her.
marshmallow
03-18-2007, 07:33 PM
ErylFlynn, I am sorry your hurting but I sure do understand. I know with my husband one day I was the best thing in his world and the next I was a worthless B. It changed from day to day so you really never know how they feel. At this point she may really feel its over but that can change. I just don't know what to say but I am sorry things are the way they are right now. Stay on the message board we all care.
suddenlyhere
03-18-2007, 08:17 PM
Hi All,
Eyes, what a great idea - I am so glad you have started this thread. EF - We are all here for you - there is a lot of knowlege and support on line here.
Guys, I have a question that I am hoping you can help me with.
You all know my story... I am just wondering why my x is being so difficult in regards to legalizing our settlement. He is lying to the solicitors, family and freinds, to discredit me... Eventually when nagged by family he went to a solicitor, and finally now has made a riduculous settlement offer (which is not negotiable!) based on a whole heap of lies (which are easily disproven, and he knows this).
I know I shouldnt try to reason this...but...I would understand if I left him...but he left me, hasnt spoken to me since, has a new girl etc... I just dont understand, why not settle this and move on, why make my life so hard (professionally, personally, financially). He wants everyone to believe that I am dragging out the settlement and being unreasonable (which of course I havent been). Is it because he is just too busy whilst manic?
Why doesnt he want to settle this - is it just the power? Shouldnt he be bored with this by now, he has a new life so why try to delay this one, and spend so much energy on this. I dont know how to make him bored with this process - I dont know when he will come out of mania, if he will be more reasonable. At the moment, I hate my life, this has been going on for over 4 months now - I just want a life.
All I want to do is relocate - move away - but of course I cant do that until I get all this stuff worked out.
I know I shouldnt be rationalizing this, I am even trying to unrationalize it - but I cant figure it out. How do I move forward, how do I bore him with this process?
Thanks heaps everyone - you are all lifesavers!
Eyes, what a great idea - I am so glad you have started this thread. EF - We are all here for you - there is a lot of knowlege and support on line here.
Guys, I have a question that I am hoping you can help me with.
You all know my story... I am just wondering why my x is being so difficult in regards to legalizing our settlement. He is lying to the solicitors, family and freinds, to discredit me... Eventually when nagged by family he went to a solicitor, and finally now has made a riduculous settlement offer (which is not negotiable!) based on a whole heap of lies (which are easily disproven, and he knows this).
I know I shouldnt try to reason this...but...I would understand if I left him...but he left me, hasnt spoken to me since, has a new girl etc... I just dont understand, why not settle this and move on, why make my life so hard (professionally, personally, financially). He wants everyone to believe that I am dragging out the settlement and being unreasonable (which of course I havent been). Is it because he is just too busy whilst manic?
Why doesnt he want to settle this - is it just the power? Shouldnt he be bored with this by now, he has a new life so why try to delay this one, and spend so much energy on this. I dont know how to make him bored with this process - I dont know when he will come out of mania, if he will be more reasonable. At the moment, I hate my life, this has been going on for over 4 months now - I just want a life.
All I want to do is relocate - move away - but of course I cant do that until I get all this stuff worked out.
I know I shouldnt be rationalizing this, I am even trying to unrationalize it - but I cant figure it out. How do I move forward, how do I bore him with this process?
Thanks heaps everyone - you are all lifesavers!
rishi
03-18-2007, 09:15 PM
i think that you have to just take your life back...if he is manic w/o treatment, his thought/emotional processes are disturbed and that is out of your control, yes? so, stay here, stay strong, face this reality, realize he is manicly multi-tasking, manipulating (for him, perhaps just for the fun of it), some kind of "i am the bomb" power trip, etc. etc.
don't try to figure the irrational him out; it is not possible. have the patience to do what you must for you...fight for you...i know how hard and badly it hurts...yet, i think it will hurt more if you don't. what do you think? ....and patience is crucial when dealing w/mental instability, so i wish you patience and courage. sending hugs and compassion,...rishi
don't try to figure the irrational him out; it is not possible. have the patience to do what you must for you...fight for you...i know how hard and badly it hurts...yet, i think it will hurt more if you don't. what do you think? ....and patience is crucial when dealing w/mental instability, so i wish you patience and courage. sending hugs and compassion,...rishi
ErylFlynn
03-18-2007, 09:30 PM
Thanks Marshmallow, I have some hope just not much. I feel cheated, that if she had been able to get a doctor sooner, got on meds her and I would be together, and happy right now. If I could change the past I would, I would find a way to pay out of pocket for her doctor and meds to get her stable again.
suddenlyhere
03-18-2007, 09:54 PM
i think that you have to just take your life back...if he is manic w/o treatment, his thought/emotional processes are disturbed and that is out of your control.
Hi Rishi - thanks for your comments - sometimes it helps to hear your thoughts out loud from someone else.
Don't try to figure the irrational him out; it is not possible. have the patience to do what you must for you...fight for you...i know how hard and badly it hurts...yet, i think it will hurt more if you don't. what do you think?
Absolutely. I need to respect myself at the end of the day - it is all just so frustrating - I have to spend ridiculous amounts of money in trying to purely defend myself against his lies through the legal system.
....and patience is crucial when dealing w/mental instability, so i wish you patience and courage.
Thanks Rishi - I need some more patience - I am fast running out, I have compassion and concern. I am just getting so tired of all this. People ask me why, and I am sick of shrugging, I am sick of trying to dodge the topic, because no-one would believe what I am say, and would just think that I was being vindictive (he would never do that!).
Rishi - thanks so much for replying - I needed that extra boost of patience, and support.
EF - I understand how you feel, as does marshmallow, u&a and many others - I think Rishi has touched an important point here...patience and time. The trick is getting yourself through it. I am thinking of you, and sending some of my newly acquired patience your way (not too much, cause I really need it!!)
Take care everyone - I hope everything is going okay at your end.
Hi Rishi - thanks for your comments - sometimes it helps to hear your thoughts out loud from someone else.
Don't try to figure the irrational him out; it is not possible. have the patience to do what you must for you...fight for you...i know how hard and badly it hurts...yet, i think it will hurt more if you don't. what do you think?
Absolutely. I need to respect myself at the end of the day - it is all just so frustrating - I have to spend ridiculous amounts of money in trying to purely defend myself against his lies through the legal system.
....and patience is crucial when dealing w/mental instability, so i wish you patience and courage.
Thanks Rishi - I need some more patience - I am fast running out, I have compassion and concern. I am just getting so tired of all this. People ask me why, and I am sick of shrugging, I am sick of trying to dodge the topic, because no-one would believe what I am say, and would just think that I was being vindictive (he would never do that!).
Rishi - thanks so much for replying - I needed that extra boost of patience, and support.
EF - I understand how you feel, as does marshmallow, u&a and many others - I think Rishi has touched an important point here...patience and time. The trick is getting yourself through it. I am thinking of you, and sending some of my newly acquired patience your way (not too much, cause I really need it!!)
Take care everyone - I hope everything is going okay at your end.
ErylFlynn
03-18-2007, 10:03 PM
Thanks, I am trying. I am pushing myself to make more friends. Not easy for me and I am starting an antidepressant. Figure with the stress before the break up and the stress after, my brain chemistry has to be off. As I understand it stress is a big cause of unipolar depression. Another reason is, a symptom can be irritibility, snapping at people. And I have been doing that.
EYESTWO22
03-18-2007, 10:06 PM
Thanks Marshmallow, I have some hope just not much. I feel cheated, that if she had been able to get a doctor sooner, got on meds her and I would be together, and happy right now. If I could change the past I would, I would find a way to pay out of pocket for her doctor and meds to get her stable again.
My friend. if I could change the past for you I would.
It seems to come down to ...."what Ifs"........................
You can't change what happened. You are still a VERY GIVING person.
That's Good...
But,you got to now give and forget....Man.....for your sake....
If She makes a positve move in the future...that, by chance, includes ..you..
Then and only then......maybe.......? ? ?
Carry On.
Eyes
My friend. if I could change the past for you I would.
It seems to come down to ...."what Ifs"........................
You can't change what happened. You are still a VERY GIVING person.
That's Good...
But,you got to now give and forget....Man.....for your sake....
If She makes a positve move in the future...that, by chance, includes ..you..
Then and only then......maybe.......? ? ?
Carry On.
Eyes
Used&Abused
03-19-2007, 04:09 PM
I use to think of all the "what if's" but unfortuatly you will only beat yourself up more by trying to over analyze the past. I know I could have done things different but I'm only responsible for myself and can no longer accept responsibilty for what was not meant to be. I've came a long way over the last 5 months and I'm proud I was able to do it. With my wife cycling down from mania I see the stable loving wife again but can't be fooled by what is naturally going to happen once again with a un-medicated BP that has no intention at this point of taking any responsibilty for her dx.
I think many of the men here come for answers and once they find them they tend to fade away from the board. I will have to say over the last month I've been less frequent here since I started to feel constantly reminded of the nightmare I've been through over the last 8 years. I've done a lot of work to move on from the marriage and sometimes the board makes me feel that if I continue with it I'm allowing part of me to stay stuck in the past. I know I will be dealing with my "ex's" bipolar for years to come and that is one reason I'm still here. Once I move on to a new healthy relationship I will most likely leave the board behind as I have my marriage.
Not that I don't love everyone here I just want to put the pain and hurt I experienced in the past where it belongs. I'm here for now but I think many non-BP spouses, especially men, often leave the board once they are finished with the marriage. In essense, dealing with BP as an EX is way different than when your knee deep in it as a commited spouse and I have found out how true that is myself over the last 4 months. I've learned more in 4 months here about BPD then I could have ever hoped for. My boys will have to deal with it for many years so I will always keep myself informed on anything new. I'm really starting to think my wife will crash to the rock bottom shortly and being divorced will give me some control in helping her seek the proper help once and for all. Time will tell...........
God Bless...............U&A
I think many of the men here come for answers and once they find them they tend to fade away from the board. I will have to say over the last month I've been less frequent here since I started to feel constantly reminded of the nightmare I've been through over the last 8 years. I've done a lot of work to move on from the marriage and sometimes the board makes me feel that if I continue with it I'm allowing part of me to stay stuck in the past. I know I will be dealing with my "ex's" bipolar for years to come and that is one reason I'm still here. Once I move on to a new healthy relationship I will most likely leave the board behind as I have my marriage.
Not that I don't love everyone here I just want to put the pain and hurt I experienced in the past where it belongs. I'm here for now but I think many non-BP spouses, especially men, often leave the board once they are finished with the marriage. In essense, dealing with BP as an EX is way different than when your knee deep in it as a commited spouse and I have found out how true that is myself over the last 4 months. I've learned more in 4 months here about BPD then I could have ever hoped for. My boys will have to deal with it for many years so I will always keep myself informed on anything new. I'm really starting to think my wife will crash to the rock bottom shortly and being divorced will give me some control in helping her seek the proper help once and for all. Time will tell...........
God Bless...............U&A
EYESTWO22
03-19-2007, 04:56 PM
deleted
Do not leave copies of others' writing in your posts.
Copyright © 2007
Optimist International
All rights reserved.
Well....what comes around ..goes around.
U&A you have surly gone around for the last 4months. And it has been one heck of a ride. I'm so happy for your outcome for your sake. It is got to be the most difficult experience you have ever had to go through. But you set your bounderies and never changed them. Stay there the lasy 1%.
I can see your reasoning on leaving the Board. It was here that you learned.We All supported. Now, BPD will be somewhat in Your past. Yes,you still will have to deal with you Ex (and her BP).But... you have the knowledge and the insight to succeed with out us ..now.. You have the right to put us in your past,because you know that you can do it on your own....
This BPer hopes that when you needed advice and support, that I wae there for you ...We both seemed to keep saying the same thing : "taking full responsibility for all the BPer's actions is the only answer to Stability".
You Ex choose not to.....now she has to live with it until she finds the way to "her responsibilty"
I wish you all the succes in the world. A life free of dealing first hand with BPD.
Just know that there is one BPer who is still maintaing stability at 23 years.
And I will still be here on this Board with my mission : Optimisim, Postiveness and,Responsibly are the Powerful Words to Acheiving STABILITY.
Always remember : "To look at the sunny side of everything and make you Optimism come true.
As you always said....God Bless..
I say..
Carry On. :)
Eyes
Do not leave copies of others' writing in your posts.
Copyright © 2007
Optimist International
All rights reserved.
Well....what comes around ..goes around.
U&A you have surly gone around for the last 4months. And it has been one heck of a ride. I'm so happy for your outcome for your sake. It is got to be the most difficult experience you have ever had to go through. But you set your bounderies and never changed them. Stay there the lasy 1%.
I can see your reasoning on leaving the Board. It was here that you learned.We All supported. Now, BPD will be somewhat in Your past. Yes,you still will have to deal with you Ex (and her BP).But... you have the knowledge and the insight to succeed with out us ..now.. You have the right to put us in your past,because you know that you can do it on your own....
This BPer hopes that when you needed advice and support, that I wae there for you ...We both seemed to keep saying the same thing : "taking full responsibility for all the BPer's actions is the only answer to Stability".
You Ex choose not to.....now she has to live with it until she finds the way to "her responsibilty"
I wish you all the succes in the world. A life free of dealing first hand with BPD.
Just know that there is one BPer who is still maintaing stability at 23 years.
And I will still be here on this Board with my mission : Optimisim, Postiveness and,Responsibly are the Powerful Words to Acheiving STABILITY.
Always remember : "To look at the sunny side of everything and make you Optimism come true.
As you always said....God Bless..
I say..
Carry On. :)
Eyes
Used&Abused
03-19-2007, 05:56 PM
Hi Eyes,
You have given me hope and optimism that there may be a way for my wife to find stability in her future. You have always been here for me and I hope I've brought some insight from the other side for you and others. I know I've helped many here and will continue to do so for now. I know the knowledge I've gained from this board has not only allowed me to understand the last 8 years but also helped me get through the divorce. Maybe one day soon my wife will be on here finding help for herself. She's still not at a point where I feel it's the right time to talk about it with her.
Me and you are in complete agreement that the only way a BP can achieve long term stability is by taking full complete responsibility for the disorder. I will always admire your ability to do that and remain stable for so many years. You can never find solutions if your unwilling to acknowledge the problem. I'm happy I'm finanly out of the hurricane for now. The outer bands will still effect me as I have to deal with her many years into the future but I won't be stuck in the fury of the eye wall any longer.
She's coming down fast but I must hold firm to my boundaries and get the divorce finalized ASAP before she really crashes not wanting the divorce any longer. I see her stalling or at the very least not making an effort to get it done. I'm heading down to your area (Cape Coral) next week and I'm sure she will have major issues when the day comes that we leave as it will be me and the boys heading off on the first vacation without her. Actually - the last time this happened in 2005 she broke down completely and begged to come back. I think she called me 75 times in 5 days when I took that vacation. She better get use to it and now with her cycling to depression it makes it ten times worse on me when she starts crying about it all. Either way this divorce is going through and my life is moving forward without her. I know in due time I will have a beautiful new wife that cherishes everything I have to offer. I can't wait for that to happen as I really enjoyed being married but can't imagine what it will be like without the constant roller coaster ride to hell and back every 2 months.
God Bless Eyes..........U&A
You have given me hope and optimism that there may be a way for my wife to find stability in her future. You have always been here for me and I hope I've brought some insight from the other side for you and others. I know I've helped many here and will continue to do so for now. I know the knowledge I've gained from this board has not only allowed me to understand the last 8 years but also helped me get through the divorce. Maybe one day soon my wife will be on here finding help for herself. She's still not at a point where I feel it's the right time to talk about it with her.
Me and you are in complete agreement that the only way a BP can achieve long term stability is by taking full complete responsibility for the disorder. I will always admire your ability to do that and remain stable for so many years. You can never find solutions if your unwilling to acknowledge the problem. I'm happy I'm finanly out of the hurricane for now. The outer bands will still effect me as I have to deal with her many years into the future but I won't be stuck in the fury of the eye wall any longer.
She's coming down fast but I must hold firm to my boundaries and get the divorce finalized ASAP before she really crashes not wanting the divorce any longer. I see her stalling or at the very least not making an effort to get it done. I'm heading down to your area (Cape Coral) next week and I'm sure she will have major issues when the day comes that we leave as it will be me and the boys heading off on the first vacation without her. Actually - the last time this happened in 2005 she broke down completely and begged to come back. I think she called me 75 times in 5 days when I took that vacation. She better get use to it and now with her cycling to depression it makes it ten times worse on me when she starts crying about it all. Either way this divorce is going through and my life is moving forward without her. I know in due time I will have a beautiful new wife that cherishes everything I have to offer. I can't wait for that to happen as I really enjoyed being married but can't imagine what it will be like without the constant roller coaster ride to hell and back every 2 months.
God Bless Eyes..........U&A
ErylFlynn
03-19-2007, 06:13 PM
Good luck to you U&E, I am with you on one thing, on leaving here. I am not ready yet, but there will be a time for me to move on to. My ex, the woman I love and still want is affected with bipolar, and unless some thing changes and we get back together, there at some point will not be a reason for me to be here. Maybe in that short time I can help others understand the difficulties those of us who love people that are ill with bipolar. I feel for you all!
EYESTWO22
03-21-2007, 09:34 AM
Hi Eyes,
You have given me hope and optimism that there may be a way for my wife to find stability in her future. You have always been here for me and I hope I've brought some insight from the other side for you and others. I know I've helped many here and will continue to do so for now. I know the knowledge I've gained from this board has not only allowed me to understand the last 8 years but also helped me get through the divorce. Maybe one day soon my wife will be on here finding help for herself. She's still not at a point where I feel it's the right time to talk about it with her.
Me and you are in complete agreement that the only way a BP can achieve long term stability is by taking full complete responsibility for the disorder. I will always admire your ability to do that and remain stable for so many years. You can never find solutions if your unwilling to acknowledge the problem. I'm happy I'm finanly out of the hurricane for now. The outer bands will still effect me as I have to deal with her many years into the future but I won't be stuck in the fury of the eye wall any longer.
She's coming down fast but I must hold firm to my boundaries and get the divorce finalized ASAP before she really crashes not wanting the divorce any longer. I see her stalling or at the very least not making an effort to get it done. I'm heading down to your area (Cape Coral) next week and I'm sure she will have major issues when the day comes that we leave as it will be me and the boys heading off on the first vacation without her. Actually - the last time this happened in 2005 she broke down completely and begged to come back. I think she called me 75 times in 5 days when I took that vacation. She better get use to it and now with her cycling to depression it makes it ten times worse on me when she starts crying about it all. Either way this divorce is going through and my life is moving forward without her. I know in due time I will have a beautiful new wife that cherishes everything I have to offer. I can't wait for that to happen as I really enjoyed being married but can't imagine what it will be like without the constant roller coaster ride to hell and back every 2 months.
God Bless Eyes..........U&A
U&A :
What ever you do with your "new" life,remember that you learned alot about yourself when you lived with a BPer. It was not easy learning,however,you will always be a better person for it.
"To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future" ..from the Optimist Creed.
Carry On...And God Bless ...YOU,too
Eyes
You have given me hope and optimism that there may be a way for my wife to find stability in her future. You have always been here for me and I hope I've brought some insight from the other side for you and others. I know I've helped many here and will continue to do so for now. I know the knowledge I've gained from this board has not only allowed me to understand the last 8 years but also helped me get through the divorce. Maybe one day soon my wife will be on here finding help for herself. She's still not at a point where I feel it's the right time to talk about it with her.
Me and you are in complete agreement that the only way a BP can achieve long term stability is by taking full complete responsibility for the disorder. I will always admire your ability to do that and remain stable for so many years. You can never find solutions if your unwilling to acknowledge the problem. I'm happy I'm finanly out of the hurricane for now. The outer bands will still effect me as I have to deal with her many years into the future but I won't be stuck in the fury of the eye wall any longer.
She's coming down fast but I must hold firm to my boundaries and get the divorce finalized ASAP before she really crashes not wanting the divorce any longer. I see her stalling or at the very least not making an effort to get it done. I'm heading down to your area (Cape Coral) next week and I'm sure she will have major issues when the day comes that we leave as it will be me and the boys heading off on the first vacation without her. Actually - the last time this happened in 2005 she broke down completely and begged to come back. I think she called me 75 times in 5 days when I took that vacation. She better get use to it and now with her cycling to depression it makes it ten times worse on me when she starts crying about it all. Either way this divorce is going through and my life is moving forward without her. I know in due time I will have a beautiful new wife that cherishes everything I have to offer. I can't wait for that to happen as I really enjoyed being married but can't imagine what it will be like without the constant roller coaster ride to hell and back every 2 months.
God Bless Eyes..........U&A
U&A :
What ever you do with your "new" life,remember that you learned alot about yourself when you lived with a BPer. It was not easy learning,however,you will always be a better person for it.
"To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future" ..from the Optimist Creed.
Carry On...And God Bless ...YOU,too
Eyes
Used&Abused
03-22-2007, 01:15 AM
U&A :
What ever you do with your "new" life,remember that you learned alot about yourself when you lived with a BPer. It was not easy learning,however,you will always be a better person for it.
"To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future" ..from the Optimist Creed.
Carry On...And God Bless ...YOU,too
Eyes
Eyes,
As I say - 10% is about what happens to us and 90% is about how we react to it. What has happened to me in the past 8 years is something to learn from rather than dwell on the negative aspects of it all. I know how much I tried and if I give the same effort in a healthy relationship I'm all but assured success.
Creed deleted:
DO NOT COPY AND PASTE FROM OTHER WEBSITES.
Copyright © 2007
Optimist International
All rights reserved.
Carry on Eyes and God Bless You...................U&A :angel:
What ever you do with your "new" life,remember that you learned alot about yourself when you lived with a BPer. It was not easy learning,however,you will always be a better person for it.
"To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future" ..from the Optimist Creed.
Carry On...And God Bless ...YOU,too
Eyes
Eyes,
As I say - 10% is about what happens to us and 90% is about how we react to it. What has happened to me in the past 8 years is something to learn from rather than dwell on the negative aspects of it all. I know how much I tried and if I give the same effort in a healthy relationship I'm all but assured success.
Creed deleted:
DO NOT COPY AND PASTE FROM OTHER WEBSITES.
Copyright © 2007
Optimist International
All rights reserved.
Carry on Eyes and God Bless You...................U&A :angel:
EYESTWO22
03-22-2007, 07:32 AM
[QUOTE=Used&Abused;2874352]Eyes,
As I say - 10% is about what happens to us and 90% is about how we react to it. What has happened to me in the past 8 years is something to learn from rather than dwell on the negative aspects of it all. I know how much I tried and if I give the same effort in a healthy relationship I'm all but assured success.
________________________________________ ___
Creed deleted:
DO NOT COPY AND PASTE FROM OTHER WEBSITES.
Copyright © 2007
Optimist International
All rights reserved.
________________________________________ ____
God Bless You,too,
And Carry On,
Eyes
As I say - 10% is about what happens to us and 90% is about how we react to it. What has happened to me in the past 8 years is something to learn from rather than dwell on the negative aspects of it all. I know how much I tried and if I give the same effort in a healthy relationship I'm all but assured success.
________________________________________ ___
Creed deleted:
DO NOT COPY AND PASTE FROM OTHER WEBSITES.
Copyright © 2007
Optimist International
All rights reserved.
________________________________________ ____
God Bless You,too,
And Carry On,
Eyes
rishi
03-22-2007, 06:18 PM
not U @ A, and clear eyes...i bow to you. for the optimist creed, ...many bows. cyber-love you 2, rishi
goody2shuz
03-22-2007, 06:26 PM
Guys ~ This lady LOVES the creed and intends to print it out to refer to each and everyday!!!:D
Thanks for sharing it U & A and for sharing it's relevance to your stability, EYES.;)
(((HUG))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Thanks for sharing it U & A and for sharing it's relevance to your stability, EYES.;)
(((HUG))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
marshmallow
03-22-2007, 08:35 PM
The creed is wonderful thank you for posting it for all of us to share.
Used&Abused
03-23-2007, 01:53 AM
Hi Everybody,
I'm happy everyone liked the Creed as it does speak volumes...
When I went to therapy after my first divorce filing in 2005 my therapist was real big on personal responsibility and it really hit home with me. I went home one day after therapy and wrote what's below. The therapist said what I wrote was amazing and she uses it to this day in teaching responsibilty to all her clients. She even said clients were commenting on it constantly and how what I had said changed one guy's whole perception of life. It was a good feeling and I wanted to share with everyone here what I wrote. Take a look below.......
"Lessons Learned" May 2005
I am thirty-two years old, but have only recently learned the lessons of Personal Responsibility. For most of my life, I've blamed others (family, friends, employees, business partners, politicians) for my problems, and I've been very unhappy most of the time. But have finally come to accept that I am responsible for my life and my happiness, and that has resulted in a dramatic improvement in my self-confidence, sense of well-being and my ability to make the right choices in life.
Here is a summary of what I've accepted:
" I am responsible for my own emotions. Others may do bad things to me, and may even hurt me, but if I let it eat me up inside, the blame rests with me. I am responsible for what happens to me and how I deal with what happens to me is also my responsibility.
" I am responsible for my own economic security. I could loose my company, but if I am not prepared for that, it is my fault for not planning ahead.
" I am responsible for my own career. If my company is not providing me with the opportunities I want, or is not working for me in some way, I can just leave. If nobody wants to hire me, it is up to me to make myself more hire-able, or to create a job for myself.
" If I don't like the way things are, it is my responsibility to seek out or accept roles so that I can change things. I don't expect anyone else to accept my suggestions and implement them.
" If I am not communicating well or am getting along with another person or some group of people, I accept that I am half of the problem.
" I am responsible for the consequences of my actions. I will not blame others for not reacting properly to my actions, and I will not assume a "no-fault" lack of responsibility on my behalf.
" Choosing to follow someone else's orders is a choice. If I carry out harmful orders or adhere to harmful policies, I am responsible for the harm caused.
" I am responsible for the relationships I choose to have and I'm equally responsible for correcting or ending relationships that provide a negative impact on my happiness and my life.
" I do not have control over others, and I am not directly responsible for their actions. I may have some influence, and I may actively oppose others when the matter is important to me, but in general it is not my responsibility to provide unwanted advice, judge others' actions, correct their mistakes, nor to punish them.
" I am responsible for raising my children in the most healthy environment possible to ensure they become healthy productive responsible adults
" If someone who is working for me is not acting as I wish, it is my responsibility to either try to convince them to act as I want, or to dismiss them. Other peoples' mistakes are their responsibility, but if I allow those mistakes to continue or to jeopardize the attainment of my goals, that is my mistake.
" When working with my business partners, it is my responsibility to understand what my duties and assignments are, and to obtain the information and resources necessary to do my assigned job. It is my responsibility to inform my partners if I cannot perform the assigned task, and it is my responsibility to come up with alternatives. If I don't like the assignment, I should ask for someone else to perform the task I'm unable to do. It is also my responsibility to share my honest opinions with my business partners.
" I am responsible for managing my time. It is my responsibility to prevent myself from taking on too many responsibilities. When others ask for my help, the choice is mine. If I offer help, I do so freely and without expectations that the person(s) helped will repay me for my kindness. If I can't help, it is my responsibility to clearly say "No."
" Care and support of the people and things that matter to me is my responsibility. I cannot expect others to share my interests or desires to help others.
" I am responsible for protecting my rights. I can't expect others to look after my interests.
" I can't change the past, but it is my responsibility to evaluate current conditions and to plan for the future.
I finally feel like I'm growing up. I wish I'd figured this stuff out 15 years ago. I know some will look at the above and roll their eyes. Like everyone else, I've been subjected to all those self-help gurus that tell everyone to take control of lives, and I have generally ignored it or thought that I already knew all those things. It wasn't until recently that I really got it. So I share my experience in the hope that others may learn the lessons through a quicker and easier method than I did.
Thanks for letting me share my awaking in life.....
God Bless..............U&A :angel:
I'm happy everyone liked the Creed as it does speak volumes...
When I went to therapy after my first divorce filing in 2005 my therapist was real big on personal responsibility and it really hit home with me. I went home one day after therapy and wrote what's below. The therapist said what I wrote was amazing and she uses it to this day in teaching responsibilty to all her clients. She even said clients were commenting on it constantly and how what I had said changed one guy's whole perception of life. It was a good feeling and I wanted to share with everyone here what I wrote. Take a look below.......
"Lessons Learned" May 2005
I am thirty-two years old, but have only recently learned the lessons of Personal Responsibility. For most of my life, I've blamed others (family, friends, employees, business partners, politicians) for my problems, and I've been very unhappy most of the time. But have finally come to accept that I am responsible for my life and my happiness, and that has resulted in a dramatic improvement in my self-confidence, sense of well-being and my ability to make the right choices in life.
Here is a summary of what I've accepted:
" I am responsible for my own emotions. Others may do bad things to me, and may even hurt me, but if I let it eat me up inside, the blame rests with me. I am responsible for what happens to me and how I deal with what happens to me is also my responsibility.
" I am responsible for my own economic security. I could loose my company, but if I am not prepared for that, it is my fault for not planning ahead.
" I am responsible for my own career. If my company is not providing me with the opportunities I want, or is not working for me in some way, I can just leave. If nobody wants to hire me, it is up to me to make myself more hire-able, or to create a job for myself.
" If I don't like the way things are, it is my responsibility to seek out or accept roles so that I can change things. I don't expect anyone else to accept my suggestions and implement them.
" If I am not communicating well or am getting along with another person or some group of people, I accept that I am half of the problem.
" I am responsible for the consequences of my actions. I will not blame others for not reacting properly to my actions, and I will not assume a "no-fault" lack of responsibility on my behalf.
" Choosing to follow someone else's orders is a choice. If I carry out harmful orders or adhere to harmful policies, I am responsible for the harm caused.
" I am responsible for the relationships I choose to have and I'm equally responsible for correcting or ending relationships that provide a negative impact on my happiness and my life.
" I do not have control over others, and I am not directly responsible for their actions. I may have some influence, and I may actively oppose others when the matter is important to me, but in general it is not my responsibility to provide unwanted advice, judge others' actions, correct their mistakes, nor to punish them.
" I am responsible for raising my children in the most healthy environment possible to ensure they become healthy productive responsible adults
" If someone who is working for me is not acting as I wish, it is my responsibility to either try to convince them to act as I want, or to dismiss them. Other peoples' mistakes are their responsibility, but if I allow those mistakes to continue or to jeopardize the attainment of my goals, that is my mistake.
" When working with my business partners, it is my responsibility to understand what my duties and assignments are, and to obtain the information and resources necessary to do my assigned job. It is my responsibility to inform my partners if I cannot perform the assigned task, and it is my responsibility to come up with alternatives. If I don't like the assignment, I should ask for someone else to perform the task I'm unable to do. It is also my responsibility to share my honest opinions with my business partners.
" I am responsible for managing my time. It is my responsibility to prevent myself from taking on too many responsibilities. When others ask for my help, the choice is mine. If I offer help, I do so freely and without expectations that the person(s) helped will repay me for my kindness. If I can't help, it is my responsibility to clearly say "No."
" Care and support of the people and things that matter to me is my responsibility. I cannot expect others to share my interests or desires to help others.
" I am responsible for protecting my rights. I can't expect others to look after my interests.
" I can't change the past, but it is my responsibility to evaluate current conditions and to plan for the future.
I finally feel like I'm growing up. I wish I'd figured this stuff out 15 years ago. I know some will look at the above and roll their eyes. Like everyone else, I've been subjected to all those self-help gurus that tell everyone to take control of lives, and I have generally ignored it or thought that I already knew all those things. It wasn't until recently that I really got it. So I share my experience in the hope that others may learn the lessons through a quicker and easier method than I did.
Thanks for letting me share my awaking in life.....
God Bless..............U&A :angel:
EYESTWO22
03-23-2007, 09:23 AM
do not repeat others' long posts.
My only comment is that you had to find this "awaking in (Your) life.....
and you did it as a "normal" person.....
Now we as BPers need to do the same. This is my mission here on this Board..
I beleive that Responsibility for BPD can be acheived...You all know Me :)
Carry On
Eyes
My only comment is that you had to find this "awaking in (Your) life.....
and you did it as a "normal" person.....
Now we as BPers need to do the same. This is my mission here on this Board..
I beleive that Responsibility for BPD can be acheived...You all know Me :)
Carry On
Eyes
Administrator
03-23-2007, 08:19 PM
Edit off long quotes from your posts.
Do not copy and paste from ANY website.
Do not copy and paste from ANY website.
EYESTWO22
03-24-2007, 08:05 AM
Guys ~ This lady LOVES the creed and intends to print it out to refer to each and everyday!!!:D
Thanks for sharing it U & A and for sharing it's relevance to your stability, EYES.;)
(((HUG))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody : I'm so pleased that, "this lady LOVES" the creed.:) I think you know all about it,now.....And where to find it.
"And that's all I have to say about that" :rolleyes:
Carry On,
Eyes
Thanks for sharing it U & A and for sharing it's relevance to your stability, EYES.;)
(((HUG))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Goody : I'm so pleased that, "this lady LOVES" the creed.:) I think you know all about it,now.....And where to find it.
"And that's all I have to say about that" :rolleyes:
Carry On,
Eyes
Used&Abused
03-24-2007, 08:45 PM
No more copying and pasting for me even with permission. Guess it's a no no here since they can't verify you getting permission. Oh well, at least everybody knows where to find it.
God Bless...............U&A
God Bless...............U&A
EYESTWO22
03-25-2007, 02:01 PM
No more copying and pasting for me even with permission. Guess it's a no no here since they can't verify you getting permission. Oh well, at least everybody knows where to find it.
God Bless...............U&A
Well,U&A, it looks like when we try to stay optimistic;sometimes the upper hand of "rules" seems to take over. But at least,we know how to handle it and keep being so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind ;)
Carry On
Eyes
God Bless...............U&A
Well,U&A, it looks like when we try to stay optimistic;sometimes the upper hand of "rules" seems to take over. But at least,we know how to handle it and keep being so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind ;)
Carry On
Eyes
Used&Abused
03-25-2007, 04:08 PM
Well,U&A, it looks like when we try to stay optimistic;sometimes the upper hand of "rules" seems to take over. But at least,we know how to handle it and keep being so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind
Carry On
Eyes
I agree !! I feel pretty darn happy these days and my peace of mind is fully intact. After 5 months alone I've started my search for the one and only. I'm very confident I will find what I'm looking for and nothing can stand in my way this time around. I feel by doing the work I've shed most, if not all of the dysfunction I was wrapped up in for so long. Responsibilty and Optimism continues to be a main focus for me. So, for all those functional women out there looking for a world class guy "Here I Am". :wave:
Flying down to Naples - Cape Coral tomorrow night for 10 days so I'll have some much needed time to relax with my parents and the boys. Hope the weather is good !!
God Bless Eyes..........U&A
And do Carry On............
Carry On
Eyes
I agree !! I feel pretty darn happy these days and my peace of mind is fully intact. After 5 months alone I've started my search for the one and only. I'm very confident I will find what I'm looking for and nothing can stand in my way this time around. I feel by doing the work I've shed most, if not all of the dysfunction I was wrapped up in for so long. Responsibilty and Optimism continues to be a main focus for me. So, for all those functional women out there looking for a world class guy "Here I Am". :wave:
Flying down to Naples - Cape Coral tomorrow night for 10 days so I'll have some much needed time to relax with my parents and the boys. Hope the weather is good !!
God Bless Eyes..........U&A
And do Carry On............
goody2shuz
03-25-2007, 04:30 PM
Have a GREAT time, no longer being U & A!!!;) Eyes will be better at giving you the weather report but I am sure you will need the suntan lotion and sunglasses:cool:
Try to enjoy being yourself and healing from all of this....I am sure that you will be running into Ms. Right soon but do take your time. You have been through alot and I am sure that you will meet the right woman who will make up for all of it at the perfect time. You just focus on YOU and your boys for a while. You will have to realize that from a distance the BP will still be a part of your life especially as it affects the boys. But that thank God you will be away from the hell that it sucks out of you when you see somebody you love not getting the help that they need. I really feel for your sons and am glad that you are taking good care of yourself so that you can be strong for them....that is what is most important here.
Have a wonderful trip....you certainly deserve it.
Love ~ Goody:angel:
PS....soon it will be time to change that username of yours!!;)
Try to enjoy being yourself and healing from all of this....I am sure that you will be running into Ms. Right soon but do take your time. You have been through alot and I am sure that you will meet the right woman who will make up for all of it at the perfect time. You just focus on YOU and your boys for a while. You will have to realize that from a distance the BP will still be a part of your life especially as it affects the boys. But that thank God you will be away from the hell that it sucks out of you when you see somebody you love not getting the help that they need. I really feel for your sons and am glad that you are taking good care of yourself so that you can be strong for them....that is what is most important here.
Have a wonderful trip....you certainly deserve it.
Love ~ Goody:angel:
PS....soon it will be time to change that username of yours!!;)
EYESTWO22
03-25-2007, 05:09 PM
U&A :
Fine weather in Naples, my friend. 85 with sun and breezy today. All next week is mostly sunny between 84 and 87...low Humitity. :cool:
I was in Cape Coral yesterday. The beaches are great. (Young ladies in their 30's roaming all around :) ). Maybe your parents can watch the boys and you can "see" the sights on the Beaches. Look for a beach side bar.;)
Give us a note when you return. I expect you will have a whole "new look". :D
Have fun....And do Carry On in Florida.
Oh, Goody, thanks for being here....Your thoughts are right On...
Eyes
Fine weather in Naples, my friend. 85 with sun and breezy today. All next week is mostly sunny between 84 and 87...low Humitity. :cool:
I was in Cape Coral yesterday. The beaches are great. (Young ladies in their 30's roaming all around :) ). Maybe your parents can watch the boys and you can "see" the sights on the Beaches. Look for a beach side bar.;)
Give us a note when you return. I expect you will have a whole "new look". :D
Have fun....And do Carry On in Florida.
Oh, Goody, thanks for being here....Your thoughts are right On...
Eyes
Used&Abused
03-26-2007, 07:16 PM
Goody / Eyes,
I plan on having a great time and I know the boys will too. They probably will not want to leave. It's high time I get to start enjoying life again.
I do plan on taking the whole dating thing very slow as I know what happens when you jump in head first.
Eyes, I'll certainly be spending a lot of time on Ft. Myers beach or Sanibel as those places always seem to have nice scenery. :)
You both have a great rest of the week.........
God Bless..........U&A
***Your right Goody, I'll have to change my username before long........
I plan on having a great time and I know the boys will too. They probably will not want to leave. It's high time I get to start enjoying life again.
I do plan on taking the whole dating thing very slow as I know what happens when you jump in head first.
Eyes, I'll certainly be spending a lot of time on Ft. Myers beach or Sanibel as those places always seem to have nice scenery. :)
You both have a great rest of the week.........
God Bless..........U&A
***Your right Goody, I'll have to change my username before long........
marshmallow
03-26-2007, 08:17 PM
To the former U&A you and those boys have a wonderful time in sunny Florida. Take care.