ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 04:09 PM
Tonight is kung fu again, my love and I both are in the same class and belt rank. She missed on Tuesday, and with my knee hurt I didn't go last night. I have this mixed feelings, the excitement that I will see her again, it has been over a week, but the fear of her rebuking me again and still being mad at me. I am thinking if she is not there tonight I should call her and see how she is doing. I am worried she will get mad though, she wants space I just don't know how much to give her for how long.
Worse I want to just email her and just say I love you, but I am scared of her being angry. I am so confused.
Worse I want to just email her and just say I love you, but I am scared of her being angry. I am so confused.
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marshmallow
03-15-2007, 04:32 PM
Erylflynn, I am sorry your hurting but I understand how you are feeling. So many times I wanted to call my husband when we first separated and wasn't sure if I should or not. However, as a women I know being told someone loves me always makes me feel happy. I can't say how your wife will feel though. It is so sad to me what this illness does to relationships. I don't have any answers but just wanted to respond.
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 04:47 PM
She isn't my wife though I had my hopes that would happen. She wasn't one to marry for love, but I want to. We talked a few times about it, and I think the last time she brought it up I reacted wrong. I guess I don't know enough about how she might be thinking to know how she will react. Maybe some of the woman that have bipolar would know if it would be a good thing or not.
marshmallow
03-15-2007, 05:22 PM
Yes, maybe someone with bp can be more helpful. I guess I have the same problems knowing what to say to my estranged husband. I still love him but without meds it won't work. I wish you well.
rishi
03-15-2007, 06:12 PM
hi eryl, you know i am not bp, however my long experience w/my son...which IS different, still has taught me that " one never knows " is a good rule of thumb. if she says no today, she may say yes,even she may not know when, or it can stay a " no" " for awile....have you thought about e-mailing her? maybe then you can choose your words, and let her know all that you have been learningmaybe even offer her acsess to this site? just some thoughts...you are a definite good guy to be doing this!! w/hope, rishi
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 06:22 PM
Hi, I cannot tell you what would be best from a BPer's point of view but I can from somebody who lives with a daughter who has BP.
From my experience, my daughter needs lots of space....if I try to inquire too much of what she is feeling and the such she gets angry and feels cornered. A few times when unmedicated she ran away. And even now when medicated, if situations feel stressful or upsetting to her, her first instinct is to get as far away from it....whether it means dropping a friendship, wanting to graduate high school early, wanting to turn 18 so that she can be out of our house....running away is really big with a BPer when they are facing their demons. Stability with meds and therapy definitely helps. And giving them space is extremely important too.
When my daughter needs her space the best thing I find helps out is to just let her have it and let her know that I am there for her and love her. Usually she will ride it out and all of a sudden come to me pouring it all out. Other times she waits for her therapy to do so. The important thing is to let them have their space while ever so gently letting them know that you are there and will still be there when this is over.
Something like an email saying that you are there and hoping that she is okay and thinking about her. That you want to understand what is happening but understand that perhaps she doesn't exactly understand herself but wanted her to know that you are thinking about her.
Send her some affirmations of a simple quote that is uplifting and gives her hope....or perhaps a card in the mail. Just gentle reminders that she is not alone because the truth of it all is that she most likely doesn't know why she is feeling the way she does and is often feeling remorseful or shame for things that are said or done that are sometimes out of her control. And feeling that she is unworthy of forgiveness because she keeps on doing it over and over again. I say this because my daughter has shared such thoughts with me.
So I hope that this somehow allows you to better understand. And I wish you luck and commend you for wanting to support and love her the way you do.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
From my experience, my daughter needs lots of space....if I try to inquire too much of what she is feeling and the such she gets angry and feels cornered. A few times when unmedicated she ran away. And even now when medicated, if situations feel stressful or upsetting to her, her first instinct is to get as far away from it....whether it means dropping a friendship, wanting to graduate high school early, wanting to turn 18 so that she can be out of our house....running away is really big with a BPer when they are facing their demons. Stability with meds and therapy definitely helps. And giving them space is extremely important too.
When my daughter needs her space the best thing I find helps out is to just let her have it and let her know that I am there for her and love her. Usually she will ride it out and all of a sudden come to me pouring it all out. Other times she waits for her therapy to do so. The important thing is to let them have their space while ever so gently letting them know that you are there and will still be there when this is over.
Something like an email saying that you are there and hoping that she is okay and thinking about her. That you want to understand what is happening but understand that perhaps she doesn't exactly understand herself but wanted her to know that you are thinking about her.
Send her some affirmations of a simple quote that is uplifting and gives her hope....or perhaps a card in the mail. Just gentle reminders that she is not alone because the truth of it all is that she most likely doesn't know why she is feeling the way she does and is often feeling remorseful or shame for things that are said or done that are sometimes out of her control. And feeling that she is unworthy of forgiveness because she keeps on doing it over and over again. I say this because my daughter has shared such thoughts with me.
So I hope that this somehow allows you to better understand. And I wish you luck and commend you for wanting to support and love her the way you do.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 06:23 PM
I have thought of emailing her. Honestly I am now nervous. I was weak when she first ran off, I emailed her some very heart felt things that I think scared her a bit or angered her. If she were to let me say some things to her tonight I can pick what I say, it has been going through my head all week and then some. I love her, I miss her, and I don't want to lose a great woman who I think is wonderful and beautiful.
To be honest I am nervous about introducing her to the forum because of how I have shared my feelings, I don't want her to feel I am trying to manipulate her into reading what I have wrote trying to prove I love her. I would like to have her on her incase she needs help, and support. I plan to have a friend invite her to come out this weekend for my birthday party. Hell if she listens I would tell her I would drop that to spend a quiet evening at a nice restaruant, followed by an evening alone in a room some where near downtown where I can reconnect and express my love to her like she wanted me to all along. I want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to scare, anger or hurt her.
To be honest I am nervous about introducing her to the forum because of how I have shared my feelings, I don't want her to feel I am trying to manipulate her into reading what I have wrote trying to prove I love her. I would like to have her on her incase she needs help, and support. I plan to have a friend invite her to come out this weekend for my birthday party. Hell if she listens I would tell her I would drop that to spend a quiet evening at a nice restaruant, followed by an evening alone in a room some where near downtown where I can reconnect and express my love to her like she wanted me to all along. I want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to scare, anger or hurt her.
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 06:25 PM
Hmm, so goody it might be good to send a brief email, saying I love her, that I am here for her and hope she is doing well could be a good thing in your experience?
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 06:46 PM
The thing we must remember is that when they are needing space we sometimes without even knowing it, do what we think they need to have done and that is to fix everything for them. When actually, they have no idea what needs fixing....it's something they have yet to understand themselves. At least that is what I have learned from my experience with my daughter. There is alot of different emotions going on depending on which state they are in. I am finding that leaving that space there with an open door to knowing you are there is good. Saying and acknowledging that you know that they are having a difficult time & would like to help is good too. And giving them hope that it will get better and that you will still be there is even better.
I would email her IF you can just keep it very simple and don't let your fingers go like mine often do.:D
The suggestion about the party and having just her is not the thing to do...even though you think that it is what you think you would want to hear but that is overkill. This state doesn't just go away and like I said, you can't fix it and most of the time neither of you will even know what it was all about. That is the most frustrating part of all this.
Acknowledge that you know that she needs her space and that you miss her and will be there in anyway she needs. And leave it at that. Wait for her to respond....she will...it's like the puppy who is afraid to approach and needs the time to work his way to you at his own speed. Keeping your distance and speaking in a calm voice or not even speaking at all will allow the puppy to work through his fears and learn to trust. And soon enough he is at your side and jumping on your lap. The same will happen with your girlfriend if you just let her ride this out on her own and at the same time let her see that you are still on the sidelines waiting.
I agree...don't suggest the forum just yet....there will be a time for that...right now she needs her space and time to work on getting better.
You didn't say whether she is on meds or not...is she?? And how long ago was she diagnosed???
Let us know how things go....if you see her today say a simple hello and that you were thinking about her and hoping that things are going better and that you miss her. Then wait and see how she responds. When she does do not go full speed ahead...listen and tread softly and allow her to lead the way.
Good luck and we will be anxious to hear how tonight goes....Goody:angel: :wave:
I would email her IF you can just keep it very simple and don't let your fingers go like mine often do.:D
The suggestion about the party and having just her is not the thing to do...even though you think that it is what you think you would want to hear but that is overkill. This state doesn't just go away and like I said, you can't fix it and most of the time neither of you will even know what it was all about. That is the most frustrating part of all this.
Acknowledge that you know that she needs her space and that you miss her and will be there in anyway she needs. And leave it at that. Wait for her to respond....she will...it's like the puppy who is afraid to approach and needs the time to work his way to you at his own speed. Keeping your distance and speaking in a calm voice or not even speaking at all will allow the puppy to work through his fears and learn to trust. And soon enough he is at your side and jumping on your lap. The same will happen with your girlfriend if you just let her ride this out on her own and at the same time let her see that you are still on the sidelines waiting.
I agree...don't suggest the forum just yet....there will be a time for that...right now she needs her space and time to work on getting better.
You didn't say whether she is on meds or not...is she?? And how long ago was she diagnosed???
Let us know how things go....if you see her today say a simple hello and that you were thinking about her and hoping that things are going better and that you miss her. Then wait and see how she responds. When she does do not go full speed ahead...listen and tread softly and allow her to lead the way.
Good luck and we will be anxious to hear how tonight goes....Goody:angel: :wave:
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 06:50 PM
She is on meds last I saw and talked to her and planning to stay on them. She started about mid Febuary on Depakote and then moved to Tegretol, she started in December or Seroquel which makes me think she was diagnosed then, and was afraid to tell me.
I think this is what I will send. Some thing simple, and to the point with out any expectations.
Hi, I hope you are doing well. Just wanted to say hello, I love you and I am here if you need me. I have your book on bipolar, it has been a good read so far, and look forward to reading the books I ordered on Amazon as well.
Love
Brett
I think this is what I will send. Some thing simple, and to the point with out any expectations.
Hi, I hope you are doing well. Just wanted to say hello, I love you and I am here if you need me. I have your book on bipolar, it has been a good read so far, and look forward to reading the books I ordered on Amazon as well.
Love
Brett
goody2shuz
03-15-2007, 07:34 PM
Looks okay to me??? Perhaps one of our many ladies here with BP would try to comment....thinking about a time that they wanted to be alone and what they needed at the time.
Brett (glad you have a name...and by the way my hubby LOVES Eryl Flynn movies;) ) if you don't mind my asking...what happened when she asked for space??? Were you living together or dating....how long have you known her and what is her previous dating history??? And did you know that she had BP when you first met??? Just trying to gauge where she's at and where your relationship was before this "space" thing happened.
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Brett (glad you have a name...and by the way my hubby LOVES Eryl Flynn movies;) ) if you don't mind my asking...what happened when she asked for space??? Were you living together or dating....how long have you known her and what is her previous dating history??? And did you know that she had BP when you first met??? Just trying to gauge where she's at and where your relationship was before this "space" thing happened.
~ Goody:angel: :wave:
ErylFlynn
03-15-2007, 10:12 PM
The space was after I over reacted a bit to her a week later sleeping with some one we knew. It hurt me especially when my feelings were starting to resurface. I needed time myself, I didn't know it at the time. I was confused for the longest time about what was going on, I just thought she was depressed. I should have researched it once I was told, then I might have made a better decision.
I sent the email, not sure if she replied as I had to leave work shortly afterwards. She was in class, I smiled and waved. She stopped, turned her head and then shrugged. I gave her some of her stuff and asked if she wanted these discs I had that were interesting. She cut me off, and I understand so I left it at that. She was either being manic in class or is really trying hard to hide how she feels. That is not saying her feelings are good for me. There were not many black belts so her and I stood right next to each other for about 10-15 minutes through warm ups. She was laughing at every thing, and her voice pitched up alot when talking to alot of people. Hard to say, I never got the chance to work with her on her symptoms. Maybe some one that experiences it or like you who sees it more knows. I think I would rather her have feelings and just finding it hard, than her still swinging around. Right before I left she got to hear about my knee, I hurt it the weekend before and I am still recovering. I did not tell her, but one of the other belts asked and then another asked how it happened, and the story came out. Sorry rambling a bit.
I would love to hear if people think the odds of her being manic at the moment are high or just not enough to even guess at.
I did give her the book back, she now knows I am reading up on the disorder. Maybe that will help over time.
I sent the email, not sure if she replied as I had to leave work shortly afterwards. She was in class, I smiled and waved. She stopped, turned her head and then shrugged. I gave her some of her stuff and asked if she wanted these discs I had that were interesting. She cut me off, and I understand so I left it at that. She was either being manic in class or is really trying hard to hide how she feels. That is not saying her feelings are good for me. There were not many black belts so her and I stood right next to each other for about 10-15 minutes through warm ups. She was laughing at every thing, and her voice pitched up alot when talking to alot of people. Hard to say, I never got the chance to work with her on her symptoms. Maybe some one that experiences it or like you who sees it more knows. I think I would rather her have feelings and just finding it hard, than her still swinging around. Right before I left she got to hear about my knee, I hurt it the weekend before and I am still recovering. I did not tell her, but one of the other belts asked and then another asked how it happened, and the story came out. Sorry rambling a bit.
I would love to hear if people think the odds of her being manic at the moment are high or just not enough to even guess at.
I did give her the book back, she now knows I am reading up on the disorder. Maybe that will help over time.
EYESTWO22
03-15-2007, 11:47 PM
Eryl : (Brett)
You have connected with Goody.. I see.
She has an amazing insight with BPD.. daughter is BP.
you are dealing with a "loved" friend with BP.
Sounds like you are giving it a "good "Try ...Good for you.
Keep it up,
I'm a BPer. Have been stable for 23 years. Went through 5 episodes for the first 14 year after I was dxed. Did not comply to my meds. (did not really whant to). I hit rock bottom and my wife told me "I'm out of here" If you don't start taking your meds. I did ...Thank God....and the last 23 years are stable to prove it :)
Thanks for joing my new Thread ..... We need guys to give input and to share our thoughts, together. Continue to join me there :)
Carry On..
Eyes
You have connected with Goody.. I see.
She has an amazing insight with BPD.. daughter is BP.
you are dealing with a "loved" friend with BP.
Sounds like you are giving it a "good "Try ...Good for you.
Keep it up,
I'm a BPer. Have been stable for 23 years. Went through 5 episodes for the first 14 year after I was dxed. Did not comply to my meds. (did not really whant to). I hit rock bottom and my wife told me "I'm out of here" If you don't start taking your meds. I did ...Thank God....and the last 23 years are stable to prove it :)
Thanks for joing my new Thread ..... We need guys to give input and to share our thoughts, together. Continue to join me there :)
Carry On..
Eyes
goody2shuz
03-16-2007, 12:33 AM
Brett ~ From what I have read it seems as if your girlfriend could be in a mixed state....the giggling and then the shrugging. No real emotion involved sorta disconnected. It's really hard to tell from just what you write. YOu would have to see her for a more extended period of time because BPers are really good at holding it together when in social situations but with the ones they love their shields come down and we get to see pretty much what is really going on.
You say that you would have rather seen some feelings....I don't think that is possible right now. IF your girlfriend is manic/hypomanic, anyone or anything that is standing in her way of what she needs right now is going to be the one she lashes out at.
For example....my daughter just recently experienced signs of instability and being in a hypomanic state. She called a boy she hardly knew, said she met him at Youth Group at our church (a lie) and had him come over with two of her close friends. They hung out in her room with the door open and went for a walk while here. Turns out he wa a boy that she met while hospitalized who was in for Anger Management. Her judgement was way off, impulsivity up and she was sporting a hickey on her neck, first time seeing this guy and in our own house with her friends!!! Hypersexuality is up during the mania as evidenced here. She became mre irritable and when confronted with her lies took it out on me telling me that she wished I would just disappear and that my husband would divorce me so that she could live with him and have me out of her life!! I am more in tune with what is going on and hubby isn't as on top of things....so she saw this whole plan in her mind as a means of getting her way....so long as I am around that is less likely to happen. So she needs mom out of the picture!!!
So....the changes are much more noticeable when you live with the person or see them on a daily basis. To the outside world everything can appear normal as many people seem to share here.
I hope that helps you understand what goes on better. IF your girlfriend is in a hypomanic state she may see your willingness to help as a threat or blockade to getting what her mind wants at this time.
You mentioned meds and that she started only in December. Chances are that she is not yet stable....my daughter is on meds for 5 months now and we are still trying to find stability and are making adjustment in her meds. It will take time for your girlfriend to identify her cycles and take care of it before she gets bad. Knowing that you are there educating yourself will defnitely be a big plus...but she may not realize the value of that until she becomes more stable. You may have to get use to staying on the sidelines for a while....it will take some time for her to accept your support. But as I said, keeping your distance but giving her a gentle remnder that you are still there for her will payoff when she is feeling better. The thing is, it will take alot of patience on your part because it is not something that is going to happen overnight.
Hang in there and do take care of yourself....you aren't going to be able to support her if you don't learn to take care of yourself.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
PS ~ She is lucky to have you and hopefully soon will come to that realization for herself.;)
You say that you would have rather seen some feelings....I don't think that is possible right now. IF your girlfriend is manic/hypomanic, anyone or anything that is standing in her way of what she needs right now is going to be the one she lashes out at.
For example....my daughter just recently experienced signs of instability and being in a hypomanic state. She called a boy she hardly knew, said she met him at Youth Group at our church (a lie) and had him come over with two of her close friends. They hung out in her room with the door open and went for a walk while here. Turns out he wa a boy that she met while hospitalized who was in for Anger Management. Her judgement was way off, impulsivity up and she was sporting a hickey on her neck, first time seeing this guy and in our own house with her friends!!! Hypersexuality is up during the mania as evidenced here. She became mre irritable and when confronted with her lies took it out on me telling me that she wished I would just disappear and that my husband would divorce me so that she could live with him and have me out of her life!! I am more in tune with what is going on and hubby isn't as on top of things....so she saw this whole plan in her mind as a means of getting her way....so long as I am around that is less likely to happen. So she needs mom out of the picture!!!
So....the changes are much more noticeable when you live with the person or see them on a daily basis. To the outside world everything can appear normal as many people seem to share here.
I hope that helps you understand what goes on better. IF your girlfriend is in a hypomanic state she may see your willingness to help as a threat or blockade to getting what her mind wants at this time.
You mentioned meds and that she started only in December. Chances are that she is not yet stable....my daughter is on meds for 5 months now and we are still trying to find stability and are making adjustment in her meds. It will take time for your girlfriend to identify her cycles and take care of it before she gets bad. Knowing that you are there educating yourself will defnitely be a big plus...but she may not realize the value of that until she becomes more stable. You may have to get use to staying on the sidelines for a while....it will take some time for her to accept your support. But as I said, keeping your distance but giving her a gentle remnder that you are still there for her will payoff when she is feeling better. The thing is, it will take alot of patience on your part because it is not something that is going to happen overnight.
Hang in there and do take care of yourself....you aren't going to be able to support her if you don't learn to take care of yourself.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
PS ~ She is lucky to have you and hopefully soon will come to that realization for herself.;)
ErylFlynn
03-16-2007, 12:50 AM
It is hard on me and I worry I can't make it through this period. I have never had a huge group of friends and tend to focus more on the woman I care about. That puts me in a situation where waiting on her hurts really bad. I am not sure what to do to make the wait some thing I can handle. I know the guy she is with now won't last, he is bipolar, and I feel an opportunist. He is loving the sex from her needs I could not fullfil and likely the manic side. If he cared and wanted her healthy things would be different. I am sure he is feeding on her issues and taking advantage of her. I hope she sees this sooner rather than later. I am trying my best to understand she is sick and that she is not a bad person for this. I just wish I could help her know what she means and what I would do for her.
goody2shuz
03-16-2007, 01:01 AM
I am sorry, Brett, that you are having to go through this but the truth is, until she is stable and capable of seeing things in a more rational and logical way, she will continue to feed her mania and her being with somebody who is also BP and sounds unstable himself....well, it really doesn't paint a pretty picture.
I know that you truly love this girl but I see you getting very hurt in this situation. I already see you hurting and you may just have to take a BIG long hard look at the situation and see that love just may not be enough for this situation and that you may be sacrificing your own emotional and mental well being, which I think you are beginning to already see signs of.
I have a feeling that now that you have the facts out that others will chime in here and offer their words of support.
I wish I could say everything is going to be alright....it's not so easy to say in this situation.
Truthfully, you sound like a wonderful guy who deserves better than this.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
I know that you truly love this girl but I see you getting very hurt in this situation. I already see you hurting and you may just have to take a BIG long hard look at the situation and see that love just may not be enough for this situation and that you may be sacrificing your own emotional and mental well being, which I think you are beginning to already see signs of.
I have a feeling that now that you have the facts out that others will chime in here and offer their words of support.
I wish I could say everything is going to be alright....it's not so easy to say in this situation.
Truthfully, you sound like a wonderful guy who deserves better than this.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
ErylFlynn
03-16-2007, 02:31 PM
I know, and it hurts. See my post on the men thread about why walking away is hard and may not be much of an option.
Talk about sucks, I have an appointment on my Birthday, Monday the 19th to see a doctor for antidepressants. How messed up is that?
Talk about sucks, I have an appointment on my Birthday, Monday the 19th to see a doctor for antidepressants. How messed up is that?
ErylFlynn
03-16-2007, 03:22 PM
Wow, I am at a loss for words. I had no idea what I had done to you with those letters. I doubt you can fully kill any hope I have of us getting back together. But I will try to honor your request, if down the line you change your mind we can see if things are better. I am having a hard time with the break up, I loved you all along and you even said that I showed it in different ways. I was hurt bad by the break up, I just needed some space and did not know it. I am seeing a doctor monday, I am asking for antidepressants. They suggested Wednesday but I asked for sooner. Monday is the first day the insurance I set up is active. You are right about my behavior and it is why I have been beating myself up, there were good reasons for how I acted, when we were together, but that never excused them. I wish every day I could go back and change things, that I could have known what you were going through. You also were never in danger of me hurting you, I know you, Elyse and others felt that way, tell her I am sorry and won't talk to her again either. I guess I remember too many of the good things and just needed the time to get myself back.
I never believed you were a danger to yourself, nor would I do any thing like kidnap you. The last week I gave you space as you asked, I had some things to give you so handed them to you last night. I know that I tried a little to talk and you cut me off but I respected that also.
I have lost some one special, wonderful and loving. Julia, you may not feel you want me in your life or as a friend again, but I am here, I love you, care for you and won't turn you away, 6 months, or years later if you need me at your side.
As for my past, that is not fair, it is my past, and I am not like that. I am over emotional some times, and alot of that is from my relationship with my parents, though that was from my childhood problems.
Thank you for caring enough to post and try and help.
PS. Can you get Blink's papers in my name? She has that chip, and I was going to wait for a good time to ask you in class or call, but this seems the best venue for the time being.
I never believed you were a danger to yourself, nor would I do any thing like kidnap you. The last week I gave you space as you asked, I had some things to give you so handed them to you last night. I know that I tried a little to talk and you cut me off but I respected that also.
I have lost some one special, wonderful and loving. Julia, you may not feel you want me in your life or as a friend again, but I am here, I love you, care for you and won't turn you away, 6 months, or years later if you need me at your side.
As for my past, that is not fair, it is my past, and I am not like that. I am over emotional some times, and alot of that is from my relationship with my parents, though that was from my childhood problems.
Thank you for caring enough to post and try and help.
PS. Can you get Blink's papers in my name? She has that chip, and I was going to wait for a good time to ask you in class or call, but this seems the best venue for the time being.
ErylFlynn
03-16-2007, 05:01 PM
That is fine, I used this so there needs be no contact. You don't need to talk to me, you can contact the chip place and have them transfer the name, any other paper work get it to me when you have time. I did not mean to prolong contact with that, it is spring and Blink needs shots. I am going to have to let her spend some time outside so Soairse can have some free access to. I don't want her to get sick and die.
I will say that despite what others said this is probably the best thing, alot of the feelings tearing me up inside are not so bad, and I at least understand. And that is what I needed. To understand what happened. I am not asking you to talk about it, but I think giving up on friendship is a bad idea, we should wait some months, see how things go, see where I am and where you are and see. Hell might be over a year, never know. But all we have now is time, we are never going to be too far from each other sharing Kung Fu.
I am sorry I let things get that bad. I was wrong, and despite your comments I really wonder if I am such a good guy. How can I be if I hurt the woman I loved that much. You don't have to answer any of this.
Also enjoy class Saturday, I have a feeling I won't be there. I think with my birthday this weekend, and this assertation I may go out both nights. Might be good for me to go drink, and flirt even if only for a night.
There are more things here of yours you might like. I have not thrown anything away. If Brandon wants to pick them up for you he has permission to call and I will set some thing up. Or if you would rather Elyse do it that is fine. I will hold them a while of course, for as long as I reasonably can. You might want the ring and pocket knife, and who knows what else. No need to comment just have either call me some time if you want the stuff.
I will say that despite what others said this is probably the best thing, alot of the feelings tearing me up inside are not so bad, and I at least understand. And that is what I needed. To understand what happened. I am not asking you to talk about it, but I think giving up on friendship is a bad idea, we should wait some months, see how things go, see where I am and where you are and see. Hell might be over a year, never know. But all we have now is time, we are never going to be too far from each other sharing Kung Fu.
I am sorry I let things get that bad. I was wrong, and despite your comments I really wonder if I am such a good guy. How can I be if I hurt the woman I loved that much. You don't have to answer any of this.
Also enjoy class Saturday, I have a feeling I won't be there. I think with my birthday this weekend, and this assertation I may go out both nights. Might be good for me to go drink, and flirt even if only for a night.
There are more things here of yours you might like. I have not thrown anything away. If Brandon wants to pick them up for you he has permission to call and I will set some thing up. Or if you would rather Elyse do it that is fine. I will hold them a while of course, for as long as I reasonably can. You might want the ring and pocket knife, and who knows what else. No need to comment just have either call me some time if you want the stuff.
marshmallow
03-17-2007, 11:22 AM
I felt like I was invading someones space reading this but it helped me understand what is going on. I feel sad for both of you and only hope that you will find peace in your lives. I will comment more on Eyes thread. Take care.
ErylFlynn
03-17-2007, 11:35 PM
Thank you, no I opened up, and tried to explain what happened as best I can. But even I didn't understand it all to share it. She has helped me share what I went through better than I could alone and what I put her through. This is what happens when 2 people have a hard time communicating, and the partner who is no diagnosed bipolar doesn't educated his or herself. It should be a lesson to others of what can happen if you don't find a way to talk, and show your love even when times are hard.
BabyLove8
03-22-2007, 12:47 AM
ERL, She might be going through a bad time right now because her responses to some recent threads were less than nice and I think were taken off by the mod. Maybe she needs to go through the manic part and crash in order to see things more clearly. I wish you and her the best of luck.:angel: