I have struggled for so many years with this ED, at times I've found peace in recovery~years of complete freedom. Then wham bam there it is again. I'm not trying to be down or make anyone think that there is no hope becasue there is. Each time it comes back I have more tools than I did before.

Right now it is a struggle for me. Today I put on jeans and realized in two months I've gone down [removed]. In exactly the same moment I felt powerful for my success I realized that I needed to be humble and admit this wasn't really good and went an nourished my body.

Thanks for reading,
GloBones

I don't know that you ever truly get rid of the ED thoughts, though mine have become less and less with time. What I do is remind myself how truly miserable I felt living in the grip of the full-blown ED. Heading that direction only brings misery; no one is happy living with an ED. You certainly don't feel well physically. You're tired and exhausted and thinking about food 24/7. I just remind myself of my misery (and carelessness at that point, there were times I just didn't care what happened to me then because I felt so crappy, I took an OD of my meds just so I could have my brain shut up for awhile and when I finally woke up like 2 days later lying on the floor in my own vomit, I couldn't believe what I had done, but such is the point you can be driven to with an ED).

There are always moments I'm tempted back to it--retaining water weight before my period every month (which is just natural when you're a woman, unfortunately), obsessing in the mirror but then I think the absolute misery of the ED just isn't worth it. For so long the ED became my life; it was my identity, and really, that's a shallow self-centered existence.

Someone once told me you never get over the ED completely; you always live with parts of it in some respect, and I do think that is true. It's like recovering from alcoholism or drug addiction. Instead of avoiding taking that 1 drink of alcohol, we constantly have to fight taking that 1 step backwards that leads straight to the ED.

Keep fighting it! You can do it! :blob_fire :blob_fire

hello,
i totally agree with thte last post. once it satrts up again, its soooo hard to get it back under control f you dont step back and rrealize what is going on.
i have been good for about 2 or 3 weeks now, and has been coming back the past week. and i seem to knwo exctly why now, which is good. but the fact i realize "HE" is here again, i think i haveit under control.
it is s very powerful thing, and is ner completely gone, beleive me i have been suffereing for about 5 years now. but it does get better . . . you just have to want it and truly believe in yourself. You can do anything you put your mind too, as hard as it is for me to say this, haha it is true and i have realized this. so just be strong and find it in yourself to change, Good luck!

take care <3