Hi, My name's Andrea, I'm a teenager, I have diabetes and I'm new here. I was just recently diagnosed with EDNOS -eating disorder not otherwise specified. I have days when I'll totally restrict my food intake, and other days when I'll eat normally, although I feel like it's alot more than "normal", and this doesn't happen often.

I'm currently going to see my ED doctor and a social worker every Tuesday, but I feel like this treatment isn't doing anything for me. They check my urine every week for ketones, and it seems like every week I have them, therefore losing a whole lot of weight. I've been hospitalized many times for this, but it just keeps happening over and over again. I feel like my ED is never going to go away, and nothing they can do will help.

So my question is, is there any other treatment I can take, or anything else I can do that might actually work, or make me feel motivated to get better? This is taking over my life, and I feel like the doctor's aren't really helping. I've done so much damage to my body from not giving my insulin, that I'm totally scared. I've had this problem for a while, but wasn't diagnosed until reacently, but I still feel like I've had enough, and I want all these thoughts to go away.

Any advice would be great. Much love to everyone:)

I would urge you to try cognitive-behavior therapy. While I did not have this type of therapy officially, I believe I did use a form of it on my own to recover from both anorexia and and my depression.

The thing about EDs is you don't get well by virtue alone. Just going to see therapists, doctors, dieticians, psychiatrists won't make you well if outside of this you are still desiring to keep the ED in your heart and your actions are doing everything to thwart recovery. I thought this for the longest time. "Well, I go to the doctor, dietician, therapist, psychiatrist, group meetings, I should be getting better, right?" Wrong. I was going to all these people, but somewhere deep inside, I still desired to hang on to the ED. It is your every day actions that count in the end, not the number of meetings with professionals you attend.

You're still young, and you have a lot of your life ahead of you. I ruined some of the best years of my life (all of my college years basically) because I was ruled by the ED. One morning, jogging at 4 AM in the cold and rain and then nearly blacking out in the shower afterwards, I really had to wonder if it was worth it. I remember feeling I'd rather die than live the rest of my life that way. Thinking about having to keep up the ED for my entire life just filled me with exhaustion and despair.

You will never be thin enough for the ED, that's what I learned. So I decided I could be super skinny and feel like crap all the time--tired, hair falling out, no menses for over a year (risking osteoporosis), weak, dizzy, unable to sleep well at night, thinking about food & exercise all the time, ruled by food and exercise, and very, very depressed, or I could be a normal weight for my height with body image issues. Body image issues do still exist even though my weight is now low normal for my height and has been for years. However, I have energy, my hair is thick and shiny, my skin has a healthy glow, I sleep well at night, and I actually have a life again. I'm actually pretty happy most of the time now and I have even been off antidepressants for over a year now.

Recovery is possible, and in your case, since you have diabetes too, recovery is essential to your health. You deserve to be healthy & happy. It is scary to let go of the ED because for so long, the ED became part of my identity.

I have been recovered for 5 years now.