This week was my first week back to work after being off 2 months for depression/burnout.

I really don't like my job and don't want to do it anymore, but I don't currently have a way out of it (have to pay bills, etc). I am afraid of death and have anxiety about having diseases, but if I don't want to work anymore and my non-work life is fairly boring, I get to thinking "What is the point to my life". :confused:

Am I still just a little depressed about starting back to work? Is my medication not working? Is my therapy failing? Why am I feeling this way? :yawn:

Hello.I can't really answer your questions completely.It does sound as though your medicine isn't doing a great job.I have anxiety/depression and I spend a lot of time thinking about dying and stuff.I dread going to work but when I don't have to I am bored.I think maybe it goes with the territory.I tend to look at the glass half empty.You may want to discuss this with the doctor and see what he thinks.Is it possible to find a hobby that you love to help balance out the work you don't?I am thinking of taking up knitting.Only I am too scared of taking classes for fear of not being able to do it.I have self-esteem probs.I would also love to go back to school(I am 34)and be a teacher.I hope you feel better soon.Life is miserable enough with extra burdens.Have a good weekend.:wave:

Hi Traveller, getting better is a slow and lengthy process. I believe that you had a mom who was abusive? This affected your entire development and now you need to go back through everything that distresses you and sort it out in order to feel and function better. All of your questions now need to be analyzed. All of your lifestyle/choices have gotten you to the distressed point that you are at now. IMO, medicine is not going to sort this out for you, only analysis. Your therapy didn't stop working you just need to keep working it. Please feel free to post any issues that you want feedback on.

;2879150...It does sound as though your medicine isn't doing a great job.Hi Anxiety-stinks, I think you are right but I'd hate to change it, I had such an awful time changing meds 2 months ago. I thought I was feeling better but now I have that feeling that I don't want to do anything but sleep, I don't even want to do a hobby. :(


Hi Traveller, getting better is a slow and lengthy process. I believe that you had a mom who was abusive? This affected your entire development and now you need to go back through everything that distresses you and sort it out in order to feel and function better. All of your questions now need to be analyzed. All of your lifestyle/choices have gotten you to the distressed point that you are at now. IMO, medicine is not going to sort this out for you, only analysis. Your therapy didn't stop working you just need to keep working it. Please feel free to post any issues that you want feedback on.Thanks Sannah, I guess I'm a bit too impatient. I had to start back to work and really didn't want to and I wonder why work at a job to pay for a life that I'm not totally happy with? :confused: But there is no easy answer but to drop out of it all, and that is not an answer for me, I know that. Now that I'm back at work I won't be able to go to therapy as much as I probably need to since I'll be gone Monday-Friday 3 weeks a month (I went back to work 75% time for now). I've only been back to work 1 week so I guess I need to give it more of a chance. :yawn:

This may sound way off the beaten track, but do you have any sort of spirituality in your life? What struck me was "I am afraid of death...". Fear can be very debilitating, especially fear of death. I have read many things on the fear of death and the gist (at least as much as I can remeber) is that it inhibits our living. I also had a lot of fear, including fear of death, but I also have a 12 step recovery program to help me with that and a whole bunch of other issues. The conclusion I arrived at, which may sound simplistic, is that I will worry about death when I am actually dying.

Another thing that helps me is a faith in the goodness of life, love of the creator and a knowing that "all is well". It is hard to get there when you are depressed, but The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck and the Power of Now by Eckart Tolle are two excellent books that may help you find some answers.

Simply,
Treelover.