Hi everyone,
Sorry it's been awhile. Mom is currently in the hospital for four days now, she has bi-lateral pneumonia. She is unable to eat now because she aspirates, Today they went into her lungs to check for infectious food in the lungs but they came back with just the pneumonia. She is down in weight to 114 pds. We have decided not to do the feeding tube so hopefully we will be able to get hospice now to come in. Things have moved very fast, she started acting like she was choking about two weeks ago and now she is mostly semi-comatose. Tonight when I got to the hospital they had also put in a catheter, she is starting into renal failure. She looks so pitiful, I was alone with her tonight and I just cried and said mom Im here, I feel like my journey is reaching it's end and I thought I was ready but I dont know for sure. She cant go without the oxygen or she will be unable to breathe. I have alot of mixed feelings right now but I wanted you girls to know. I'll keep in touch,
jess

Oh Jess, that's so awful. You are in my thoughts and prayers. There are no words to say what kinds of mixed feelings we all have at such a time. Remember always that you did your best for your mother. Somewhere deep inside she knows this.

Love,

Martha

I am going through exactly the same thing. My dad, who was the toughest character around, has finally gone into the last decline. He started choking about 2 months ago but we kept trying to feed him. He has had 2 bouts with pneumonia and 2 falls. The last fall fractured his ribs and maybe other things but he had reached the place, at 90 yrs old, where we were not going to do anything. He is in the best nursing home imaginable in a very tiny town where everyone takes care of everyone. I live 5 minutes away and go back and forth constantly.

I am an only child and made the decision 3 days ago to not try oral feeding any longer and although I have agonized, and am agonizing, over whether to tube feed or not, I chose not to. It actually honors his wishes, but my mother keeps going back and forth on this issue. Both parents lived with me and mom is still with me. I know that the decision not to tube feed is the right decision but my heart is raw and every minute for me is agony.

I have found help and support on these board JUST BY READING. I have never posted before. If it had not been for this board, I would truly have lost my mind.

I am praying for a swift release from this earthly body for all our parents who have begun the last goodbye and are soon to be off this earth. I also pray for you and for all families who are going through the agony that I am, and you are, at this moment.

There is just no such thing as being ready to say goodbye forever. Such a mixture of feelings! I wouldn't keep him here one second longer, so I guess what is killing me is just seeing him like this.

Release will come for all of us. Thanks to all on this board for being there.

jess,
i am so sorry to hear about your mom, this is such an awful disease.
my dad is in the early stages, but i am just so scared about what may happen.

i wish you and your family much peace.
liz

Dear Jess,

My heart goes out to you and your family. What difficult choices you have.

Just remember that whatever choices you've made were always in the best interest of your dear mom. And whatever you choose now for her is also in her best interest. All you want is what's right for your mom.

You've been saying goodbye to your mom for a long time. We tend to think this makes the final goodbyes easier but it doesn't.

I am so glad that you chose to bring your mom home while you could. It's good that you had some time alone with her again. You did far above the call of duty, Jess.

I wish there were something I could say to ease the pain.

Love, Barb