Well ladies, I finally had my breakdown tonite at work. Terrible, I know.

I didn't sleep well last night, and had to work this morning, which really wasn't all that bad. I got home around 4:30, and was determined to take a nap. Well, no sooner did I lay my head on the pillow, then the telephone rang. My assistant manager got sick at work, and I had to go back in. Just flippin' great....

So, I got up, got dressed and headed back in. My girls I had there tonight are pretty good, so I let them run the floor while I was in the office doing some paper work. I'm just workin' away when my mind started wandering, and boom! it happen. I'm thinking to myself "I'm infertile." I just started crying....there was nothing I could do, the tears just kept coming.

After a year of trying, and talking to the RE and this month being my first month of clomid, I was fine. Everyone kept talking about how I was "coping" well with what I was going through. I just chalked it up to being strong willed. I think I'm chalking it up to denial now...lol

But, nevertheless, I am fine now. The girls just about started to panic when I came outta the office, but they calmed me down.

Ugh. Life...what a rollercoaster. I just keep telling myself God did this to me because I'm a strong person, and I can handle it. This is just one of his tests that I have to pass.

Here's to wishing all of you a great week! :angel:

Heather

Heather I am so sorry sweetie.Its always good to have a good cry trust me u always feel a little better getting it out.You are strong and u are right this is just a test god is putting us through.But we are strong and we will get through this.Keep the good spirits and u will see this will be sich a distant memory.

Well sweeite keep ur head up we are all here for eachother.

Mapia

Thanks Mapia :)

When I got home and told DH about what happened, he just hugged me and kissed me on my forehead...I'm a sucker for forehead kisses ;)

Then he said he had to go "out". I just said..ok...lol. But, he just got home w/ some icecream and a dozen roses. I feel loved :) The man definately knows how to cheer me up!

Heather

AAAAwwwww that is so sweet.I love forehead kisses also I just feel like they are different that u are really loved I cant explain it.Well with what I went through this weekend DH gave me a lot of forehead kisses it made me feel like everything would be ok.Well I am glad DH comforted u it really does make u feel better.

Mapia

Hello Heather!
AAGH, that was so sweet of your hubbie! I agree w/ Mapia that sometimes a good cry is just what you need! It seems like we keep plugging away on this journey, but some days are just too much! Try to hang in there and things will look up! And you're right, God is the One in charge and He will never give us more than we can handle. (Even though it sure feels like it sometimes, huh?) ;) Anyway, I wish you a BFP very soon!

Kathy

Hi Heather

That was sweet of Dh. . . ice cream roses.
Somedays are hard the fact that you were tired makes you more vulnerable> I always cry so much when i am tired.
Don t worry . . things will sort themselves out and i am sure you ll get your bFP soon. IN the mean time get DH to pamper you it will make you feel better and help your relationship to keep going strong.

Amy

Hi Heather,

IF get so rough sometimes and I'm sorry you had a rough patch. The realization that we have to take drugs to help us get pregnant after we try and we try is so heart breaking how can we not break down sometimes no matter how strong your are you are human too. It sounds like you have been doing great but sometimes it's good just to let it all out. I am so glad your DH is such a sweetheart and helped you through it. We just can't give up!!! I can't tell you how many women have been on clomid on this board and are now at the pregnancy boards. One of them is pregnant with twins right now. So I hope to hear very good news about a BFP from you before you know it!!

kathy