Ladies, some of you may be aware that I am booked in for my hsg on Thursday. I booked it 2 weeks ago when I got the referral. Well today (2 days before my appointment) this woman from the xray rang and said "sorry we actually don't do hsgs here, you will have to travel to so and so (town 2 hrs from here) to have it done". She then rang back later and advised me that, that xray clinic is booked out for wed and thurs. If they had told me 2 weeks ago when I had made the appointment that they didn't do them there, I would have rung the other clinic and would have most probably got a time for 2 weeks time.

I was so angry at the incompetence, and just plain don't care attitude that I said to them, well this is not my fault and I NEED TO HAVE THIS DONE THIS WEEK, as my cycle is at the right time, and I have a visit to my ob/gyn next week to get the results and to see about clomid and iui. So I don't want to wait for another month or two to have the hsg. I said to the lady, that someone has to sort it out and get me an appointment! Because it is very important, medically to me.

They were supposed to ring me back by 5pm today to let me know if they could sort something out with another doctor at the clinic 2 hrs away, but they hadn't called by 5pm so I rang them, the clinic was closed!!!! so I thought, right I am going to call the after hours number which I did and explained that I needed to know what was happening as I may have needed to keep my daughter home from school if we were travelling tommorow and take her with us. The man gave me the internal number, I rang it and the lady said WHAT ARE YOU DOING RINGING THIS NUMBER!! I explained the above and she said, "we have been trying to get you all afternoon", umm I was by the phone all day long, but in the end my ob/gyn has agreed to do the hsg here on Thursday. Bless him!

Now I feel like I am the bad one for chasing it up and being pushy and when I get there on Thursday, they are going to be thinking, here she is the pushy cranky woman who kept ringing! But as I said to my husband, these woman who went home at 5pm didn't give me a second thought, they didn't appreciate how important this is to me, and if I didn't push for something to be done, as this was no fault of my own, I wouldn't be having my hsg on Thursday. And time is not on my side, I am nearly 40 and have been trying for 14 months, I don't want to not be serious about it anymore. I already feel that my ob/gyn is not taking me seriously, but then again he wouldn't have agreed to do it if he didn't want to.

Sorry for the rant, but I just feel like the bad guy now, but I want another baby so much, that I really couldn't care what these people think. Thanks for reading and best wishes to you all.
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Hello Mariella!
Good for you! I'm glad that you stuck to your guns! I understand what you mean about feeling pushy. There have been many times I've felt like I was being pushy and controlling, but at the same time you almost have to be to get a lot of things taken care of! I've always been used to the doctor just telling me what needs to be done and doing it, but on this IF journey I've found that most things are left completely up to us. My Mom always says that " You are the one paying them, so you need to do what you want"! So anyway, I wouldn't feel bad at all if I were you! I hope everything works out great for you!

Kathy

Hi Mariella good for u dont worry about what those women will think of u.They dident worry for a second about u so dont pay any mind to them.Like I have said if someone hasent gone through IF they cant understand our pain.My only concern is people should at least try and be sensitive to our feelings but unfortunetly it doesnt work that way.If u dont push a little in life u will never get what u want.I have learned that.Good luck and keep us posted.

Mapia

Hi Mariella,

You go girl!! You have no reason to feel bad or even worry yourself one but about it. You were not cranky!! You were right!! I am sure it was a lie that they tried to call you all day especially if you were home!!! I am so glad that it worked out. I really hate that the staff at some of these offices like the empathy that is very much needed to do their jobs. It should be a big part of what they do. It's funny b/c this upsets me so much I have talked to DH about doing seminars for MD's and their staff on how to work with IF patients and how important it is to use care in they way the explain test results, resolve issues or mistakes, if they were just a little bit kind maybe we would not be so frantic and it would make their life easier too. But a lot of them just don't have a clue. Good luck with your HSG I hope it all turns out just fine and you get a BFP soon!!! :)

kathy

Do not worry at all about what they think. LIke you, by the time I was pushing 40 I was INCREDIBLY concerned about every single month lost, with good reason! As you know our chances get less as we get older and it can start deteriorating rapidly after 40 so best to make firm stands and insist on proper and expedient treatment for you and your future child! By the way, it's off the topic but are you using fresh or donor sperm? The reason I'm asking is because the RE who finally got me pregnant (at 41) told me to use thawed frozen sperm is basically a waste to do with IUI. Of course no one told me that until after 8 unsuccessful tries at IUI (with a different RE). I say this to you because you certainly don't want to waste more time with something that the odds of being successful are slim. I finally got pregnant with IVF, ICSI (using frozen thawed sperm), and acupuncture, by the way. Best of luck, and don't give up!

Hi Twinmom I just read what u arote and wanted to ask a question.I am using donor sperm cause DH is sterile and we are doing IUI.Why do u say frozen sperm is a waste of time with IUI?I got pregnant but it was a chemical and I have read many women get pregnant with frozen.I was just curious about what u said.Thanks for listening.

Mapia

hi Mapia, I just wrote you a long post and then lost it! Grr. Ok let me try this again. Mapia, I'm not sure of the scientific reasons exactly, but I know when I went to my last RE who is one of the best in the Country and maybe also one of the most up to date and educated (he has written a ton of the literature on infertility, medical articles, etc), he told me that he didn't even consider the IUIs I had with frozen sperm as unsuccessful (on my end atleast), citing something about the frozen sperm diminishing the chance of success. This man is a genius, truly, and it's hard for layman to understand him sometimes (I'm not the only one who has said this) .. and I didn't understand the reasons but I am sure he told me the IUIs with frozen sperm were a waste of time basically. Understand though I was pushing 41 when I went to him, and had done these IUIs through my late 30s and even at 40 so maybe it's different if you're younger and have more time and eggs to spare than someone my age. I don't know. I do know for both my IVF cycles though when the sperm was thawed and examined under microscope by the lab there was a problem with the sperm motility or something when they went to use it for ICSI. THe first IVF they called and wren't even sure they could use it (thank G-d I had a back up vial sent). The second time it was something too, but they had enough to use. I was concerned maybe only the worst sperm survived since it didn't thaw well or whatever problem they had, but they told me it's the opposite that most likely only the best sperm would survive. Now my old RE (that did all the IUIs) supposedly checked the sperm for motility before the IUI and always told me it seemed fine. So I don't know if that was just coincidence or maybe it's more carefully and elaborately inspected when they are using the sperm for ICSI.. but I would tend to think probably the latter is true. This is only my experience.... I don't want to discourage anyone that is using frozen sperm, but my RE told me for ME (maybe just at my age) the IUis with frozen sperm he considered basically a waste of time. Perhaps he meant, atleast partly, that he thinks it would be better for women at older ages to go all out and do IVF rather than waste any cycles or eggs with IUI, which stasticly is less successful than IVF . I'm not sure. I don't mean to discourage you or anyone!! But maybe you might want to ask your own RE about it if you have concerns. Ask if his IUI success rate is much higher with fresh sperm vs. frozen, for example. Good luck to you!

Thank u twinsmom for taking the time to explain what ur RE told u.I have discussed this with my Re and he says of course fresh sperm is better but we make sure the sperm is good quality when thawed for IUI.Re also told me since I have no IF issues at all and had the chemical pregnancy then he is not worried about IUI working for me.He doesnt want me to go to IVF cause he feels its to aggresive right now for me and there is no need to put me through all that yet.I am 33 so I am still with in the age limit.My Re always tells me the count and the motility before the IUI when they have thawed it.I know IUI is not as successful as IVF but I dont have that kind of money for IVF right now.I can only pray after all getting pregnant and having a baby is a miracle.So all we have is our faith in god and let him call the shots.Again thank u kindly for writing me and explaining to me what ur RE said.I greatly appreciate it.

Mapia

Aw thank you so much ladies for your support, and I totally agree with your comments, especially about the staff having empathy towards what we are going through. I have 3 children and am now classed as having unexplained second degree infertility, after trying to conceive for 14 months. So that is against me as well, as I am sure my dr thinks I should be just happy with what I already have (long story).

But, yes I am paying them so I need to be pushy to get things done. I am a bit nervous about tommorrow, but I will let you all know how it goes. Best wishes to you all and thank you for your kind words.

Mariella