Hi everyone,

Haven't really been on here in a while, but something happened today that made me think I should pay the boards a visit.

I've become fairly close with a few girls from work (two of which know about my past with anorexia) and one of them said something to me today about my eating. I guess I complained about being "SO full" after lunch and she called me out on it b/c she didn't think I had eaten too much. She then told me that I haven't been eating a lot lately (in her eyes) and that another girl at work thought I had even lost weight (which I truly don't think is true).

I consider myself fully recovered. I still eat very healthy and exercise, but I do not starve myself like I was when I was sick.
The one thing is, however, that I still have some very strange habits. I love to feed other people and bring other people snacks, but not eat them myself.
I lie about things that I've eaten to make myself sound "normal" and even "unhealthy" sometimes.
I stress if I don't exercise a certain amount each week.
These things are normal to a CERTAIN extent, but now that someone else has noticed them, I am worried. I thought I was past this.

I usually know what I'm doing when I'm doing it (i.e. eating less, exercising more, etc) but this time I TRULY don't know what is going on. I am NOT trying to lose weight and I DO NOT think anything is wrong, but isn't it a red flag that someone has noticed something weird about my eating habits?

What do you think I should do? I haven't weighed myself in ages b/c I know that would just set me off....but I'm curious if I've lost weight or what is going on.

For what it's worth, I've been EXTREMELY stressed lately and not getting along with my mom. It might be harming me subconsciously, but I can't tell.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, guys.

I think it's a red flag that someone noticed something in your habits.

Certain things like stressing if you don't get X amount of exercise a week (even if this is a normal amount of exercise) is definitely a red flag. I've been recovered from my ED for awhile (over 5 years), and while I do exercise regularly, I don't stress if I miss a few days, even a week if I'm sick or on vacation. Now, I do usually try to exercise a few times a week, usually about 3-4 days a week, but sometimes it's more and sometimes it's less. I closely listen to my body and I don't exercise if I'm too tired, have sore muscles, or feel sick (plus my exercise is much lower intensity than before).

The making snacks for others and not eating them yourself is still an ED behavior, I'm afraid.

I agree, don't weigh yourself if you feel that would set you off. Are you still seeing a therapist? If not, maybe you should consider it. If not for the persisting ED behaviors (which I recommend trying cognitive behavior therapy for), then to deal with the stress and anxiety about your mom. When we get anxious or stressed, it's very, very easy to slip back into ED habits without noticing at first and then the next thing you know, you're restricting a lot and overexercising and doing other ED behaviors. I'd definitely look into get some therapy to deal with the stress you are facing right now because that definitely can translate into your eating habits and exercise routine.

Good luck! I think if you catch yourself before you start slipping too far, it's much, much easier to find your way out.