LittleMissA
04-09-2007, 07:14 PM
I was just lurking reading the posts about oops babies and secretly feeling re-assured that I wasn't the only one who often felt resentful about co-workers/friends getting pg :p and I again started to wonder - HOW do oops babies really happen? I mean, I know it's an obvious answer and I ask almost in jest, but I am seriously intrigued by this - I mean are people just so caught up in the moment that they seriously have NO idea that it's a possibility? I guess I just think about this stuff more since I've been timing everything perfect for 5 months and NOTHING. How does my friend get pg when she is 17 using a condom when I have been trying and bding using nothing and still don't get pg? Even when I was trying NOT to get pg, I was at least aware of the fact that around the middle of my cycle, I was more likely to get pg. I guess doing all this temping, etc. I've learned so much about my body and I just wonder if most people are CLUELESS. I almost wish I were clueless b/c it seems like more of these girls get pg! I'm just frustrated too and am rambling now. :wave:
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G8r4evr
04-09-2007, 10:54 PM
I keep hearing over and over, that if you relax and just go with the flow, it will happen. So maybe oops babies are more common, because getting pregnant is the last thing on their parents minds and they less stressed.
Blastoff9600
04-10-2007, 12:42 AM
If the relax and let it happen theory worked for me I would be the mother of 10 instead of 2. I cant tell you the number of times I have given up and figured if it happens it happens. Right almost 6 yrs of no bc and plenty of times of not even paying attention to my cycle to be surprised by AF showing up. That theory works for some but apparently I keep missing the boat for that one.
As for oops babies that can be any number of reason. First one you have to remember is no BC is 100% effective. Every BC out there has a failure rate. Then throw in the human error factor you increase the failure rate even more.
For those that use withdrawl as bc there is always human error on the guy's part there.
The list goes on and on.
Then of course there are those that have no clue about their cycles. Schools dont teach things right when it comes to teaching girls about the facts of their bodies. That is why the book Taking Charge Of Your Fertility is such a wonderful book that every female above the age of 9 should read.
As for oops babies that can be any number of reason. First one you have to remember is no BC is 100% effective. Every BC out there has a failure rate. Then throw in the human error factor you increase the failure rate even more.
For those that use withdrawl as bc there is always human error on the guy's part there.
The list goes on and on.
Then of course there are those that have no clue about their cycles. Schools dont teach things right when it comes to teaching girls about the facts of their bodies. That is why the book Taking Charge Of Your Fertility is such a wonderful book that every female above the age of 9 should read.
scoobylou22
04-14-2007, 03:49 PM
I think that 8 out of 10 oops babies arn't really oops they are just broody women that want a baby and they want to make it look like an accident! I know 3 people that have had oops babies the story goes something like this...
My friends sister 23 years old, half way through a nursing degree, getting bored of it! Her cousin was round with her baby and i overheard her say "i would have one today if i wasn't doing my degree" 2 weeks later she was pregnant!:rolleyes:
My best mate got pregnant the other year with her second, she said it was an accident and was even upset but i asked her what bc she was using and she said nothing! i said well it wasn't really an accident then was it! and she said "i didn't think i would get pregnant again"
No disrespect shes my best mate but how dumb can you get? she has already got one child what made her think she wouldn't again?:rolleyes:
I also know someone that was on the pill and she was forgetting to take them all the time but she even admitted she didn't care if she got pregnant and sure enough she did! she told her boyfriend it was an accident but really she planned it!:rolleyes:
So im sorry if there are any people that have genuinly had opps babies in the past but i think that most of the time its down to planned oops to trick the husbands lol :p
My friends sister 23 years old, half way through a nursing degree, getting bored of it! Her cousin was round with her baby and i overheard her say "i would have one today if i wasn't doing my degree" 2 weeks later she was pregnant!:rolleyes:
My best mate got pregnant the other year with her second, she said it was an accident and was even upset but i asked her what bc she was using and she said nothing! i said well it wasn't really an accident then was it! and she said "i didn't think i would get pregnant again"
No disrespect shes my best mate but how dumb can you get? she has already got one child what made her think she wouldn't again?:rolleyes:
I also know someone that was on the pill and she was forgetting to take them all the time but she even admitted she didn't care if she got pregnant and sure enough she did! she told her boyfriend it was an accident but really she planned it!:rolleyes:
So im sorry if there are any people that have genuinly had opps babies in the past but i think that most of the time its down to planned oops to trick the husbands lol :p
hopefullone
04-14-2007, 05:12 PM
Scooby.. I agree with you!! Yes there are some genuine "oops babies" out there.. but... a friend of mine is not serious about using protection, yet insists that she and her DH are waiting a few years before having children. Unfortunately, DH is really the one who wants to wait, my friend desperately wants children NOW. She has been having irregular cycles since going off BCP, yet insists on going by the assumption you are fertile 2 weeks after your LMP to tell her when she is fertile or not. Either she can't seem to understand that theory is not accurate when your cycles are not regular (and its not always accurate even when they are regular) or she is playing DUMB and thinks that if she does end up pregnant, her DH will be ok with it because it was an "accident". There is no 100% effective birth control.. but her "method" is just plain sneaky!
scoobylou22
04-17-2007, 01:48 PM
There isn't alot of men out there that would be heartless enough to make his partner have an abortion (sorry i really hate that word) and some women take advantage of this! and its safe to say just because a man dosn't want children yet dosn't meen he wouldn't be exited about having an oops baby by supprise if it was genuinly oops! i think that women who do this are really selfish, i would never do that to my husband because i think men should have the right to decide when they become a dad! plus he would be so annoyed if he ever found out!
its abit unfair really that women can use such a powerfull tool against men!! Even if the man did object, legally he couldn't do a thing about it, he would still have to support the child till he/she was 18 yrs old regardless if he stayed with the mother or not! :mad:
its abit unfair really that women can use such a powerfull tool against men!! Even if the man did object, legally he couldn't do a thing about it, he would still have to support the child till he/she was 18 yrs old regardless if he stayed with the mother or not! :mad:
tumblemama
04-17-2007, 04:33 PM
My first suprise baby was a "secretly hoping for not trying/not preventing." So I was basically TTC but without the temping, charting, etc.. (I still don't understand the charting stuff!) My second pregnancy we we using the pull out method and once I got pregnany DH admitted he might of not pulled out a few times... :rolleyes: So there's my "oops" stories. LOL.
lucii
04-17-2007, 05:45 PM
the whole oops baby thing kinda makes me laff. when i fell pg with my son, i was on bcp, and he really was a oops baby, and i wanst trying to get pg, although when i found i was pg, i wanted him sooooo much. when i fell pg in june last year i was also on bcp!(although stopped as soon as i knew i was pg.now im not on bcp and ttc its just not happening! my dh and i laugh about it sometimes, that maybe i should take bcp to get pg again!
haveing said that, my dh's mate and his girlfriend have 2 children, and she told him both times she was on bcp and just didnt take it because she wanted to get pg. for the last year shes wanted another baby, but he wont even sleep in the same bed as her now because he doesnt want any more kids, and he doesnt trust her not to trick him again, so its been very bad for there relationship
lucii xx
haveing said that, my dh's mate and his girlfriend have 2 children, and she told him both times she was on bcp and just didnt take it because she wanted to get pg. for the last year shes wanted another baby, but he wont even sleep in the same bed as her now because he doesnt want any more kids, and he doesnt trust her not to trick him again, so its been very bad for there relationship
lucii xx