I just found out I have herpes and I am beyond devastated. I can not stop crying. Who knew you could get it from having oral sex when someone has a cold sore. Am I the only one that stupid. I can't believe I have an STD, who's ever going to want me? I just want to die!!!! I keep thinking what did I do to deserve this. I have genital herpes and he has oral and he gave it to me. No body thinks its a big deal to have oral herpes but just tell them you have genital and they say, oh my god , I'm so sorry. like its something horrible because it is and now I will have it for the rest of my life. No matter how much I cry and scream, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THIS, its not going away. I don't know how to get past the sadness.

hi, i would just like to say i know EXACTLY how you feel. same thing happened to me. i had no idea it was possible, in fact my bf didnt have a cold sore in his mouth, he had one in his nose a week earlier. This virus is very infectious.
i cried for weeks. every day. about 5 times a day (or everytime i thought about it) its hard becuase thoughts about me being disgusting and diseased cross my mind every single day. i blamed myself, i think maybe if i wasnt so stressed out my body would have been able to protect me from it. or if i had been more careful things might be different. i wanted to die.
but i try not to think about it, i have to remind myself that there is nothing i can do about it, worrying will only make things worse. alot of people have it.

i hope you have some support to get you through it, and also try to read everything you can about it, and keep checking this forum, it helps to talk to other ppl.

Thank you so much for your replay, thats exactly how I feel. I have no one to talk to so it really means a lot to me, I can't tell anyone. Do you still cry? How long ago did you find out? Did you get any more out breaks? It looks like I'm clear but I tried to have sex and its still painful. How long does it take? Did you go for counseling?
Thank you again for your replay, I really needed to hear from someone else. No one would understand how it feels.
Celeste

have you talked about it with the guy your with?
also how did you find out, did they do tests or a swab?
i went to the docs on new yrs because i was in so much pain (worst new year ever!) and found out after they did a swab that it was HSV1. It healed in 4 days after taking the medication. i had 3 tiny red lumps. they had disapeared completly within 4 days. i have been back a few times asking for blood tests because i want to make sure but they have all told me there is no point in doing a blood test.

I have not had an outbreak since. apparently reoccurances are very different to the initial outbreak. Maybe i have had one...im not sure. sometimes i get this pain that feels like a needle is jabbing me there but it goes away after a few seconds. and i had this pimple looking thing appear on the top of my thigh that was there for 2 weeks. im not sure what that was. but it didnt hurt. When i got my first OB it hurt to walk, sit, anything.

i have read that alot of ppl with genital HSV1 dont get it back. Is that the type that you have?
Most ppl get coldsores so i think they are more protected from the virus, but i had never had one before and i was going through some MAJOR stress and depression at the time i think that is why i got it. My bf has been with many ppl and never passed it on b4 (that he knows of).
im clinging onto the hope that it never comes back. or even that they got it wrong and i dont have it...


no i dont cry about it anymore i am trying to focus on keeping happy, stress free and healthy so i can not have any more outbreaks. i am taking vitamins and L-Lysine and tea tree oil baths. Also my bf is supportive but he is the only person i have told apart from my docs.

keep posting, it will help to talk to people
stay strong! hugs

i would also like to add, gosh it seems so unfair that i have it. like i must have some major bad luck or bad karma. we have only had oral sex twice and he doesnt get coldsores in his mouth, only his nose. my doc did think it was a bit strange. i think i was just very very unlucky.
did ur partner have a coldsore at the time?

Thanks for all your info, I really appreciate it. I don't know if its 1 or 2. My Dr. took a sample from the outbreak area. I haven't acctually spoken with the Dr. she left a message on my phone. What is the difference between 1 &2

I never get cold sores either but my BF gets them all the time.

When were you able to enjoy sex again? I'm just not feeling it and its still painful even though I appear to be clear.

I think if my BF and I break up whos ever want me.

Thanks again for your help

oceangirl. I know that the news is hard. I don't have herpes but my sister and my roommate do. They both have gotten over it, found wonderful men and are both married with children. Listen, as hard as it seems right now it will get better. There are so many other diseases out there that are so much worse. Give yourself some time and you'll begin to feel better.
I do have the cold sores. Usually lovely around my nose. I do know that stress brings out the virus so try to relax. good luck

well i waited 5 days after my sores had completly healed and have had a very active sex life ever since! some ppl have said that sex can cause irritation and possibly cause outbreaks , but i havent had any problems with pain OR lack of wanting to.

ok you should look up the difference between 1 & 2, there is lots of info on it out there. basically type 1 is a lot milder, and often ppl only get it that first time and never get it again. for the ppl that get reoccurances its about once a year i think. Type 2 i think happes more often, and lasts for longer, more aggressive.

I understand how you feel,I was told that I had it .I'm 19 and I took a blood test I'm going back for another test to make sure

I completely know how you feel; and devistated is definatly the perfect word to describe how I'm feeling right now.

I'm in my last year of high school and I've just realized that I have genital herpes. I haven't to the doctor yet, but I'm almost positive. I have all the symptoms. October 2005, I had sex with my ex-boyfriend and it got really irriated down there and I wasn't really sure what it was but I went online and researched types of STD's, because I was aware he'd been with someone before who had definatly got around; and I came to the conclusion it must've been genital herpes.

But when it cleared it up, and I never got another outbreak after a year in a half I figured it was just something else. But now I have another outbreak, so I'm almost positive it is.

When I first realized I was really scared an depressed. I have so many concerns. Am I ever able to have sex again? What if I meet a great person that I want to be with and telling them will make them leave me? What if I've passed it on to previous partners? Should I tell the person who I'm almost positive gave it to me (considering I had the first outbreak 3 days after we had sex)? How is this mentally and emotionally going to affect me? I just don't know. I'm really lost and confused, and I feel isolated from everyone because I'm the only one. I'm so young. I just don't get it. :(

oceangirl. I know that the news is hard. I don't have herpes but my sister and my roommate do. They both have gotten over it, found wonderful men and are both married with children. Listen, as hard as it seems right now it will get better. There are so many other diseases out there that are so much worse. Give yourself some time and you'll begin to feel better.
I do have the cold sores. Usually lovely around my nose. I do know that stress brings out the virus so try to relax. good luck

I dont mean to just jump into the conversation but i had recently had a cold sore on my lower lip does this mean i have herpes. Do you only get cold sores if u have herpes? Im a little confused.

Hi oceangirl. My condolences to you on your recent discovery. I am in a similar situation as you; I contracted herpes the same way. The only differnece is I got it from my husband so I have someone to spend my life with. I also didn't know herpes could be transmitted this way. And just because the herpes you have causes outbreaks in your genital region it is still considered oral herpes (if I understood the Dr. correctly). I have had it probably for over 10 years now. Initially I wanted the definitive diagnosis from the doctor that it was indeed herpes type 1,which is the oral form. But after running to the office on at least three separate occasions at the first sign of an outbreak and the results coming back inconclusive I gave up. I knew I hadn't been unfaithful and I trust that my husband hadn't either. Plus I did some research online and found out that it can be transmitted via oral sex and we had been engaging in that quite a bit prior to my first outbreak. I hate to even call it an outbreak because mine have always been one or maybe two sores. The oral form,from my understanding,is supposed to be less severe than the genital form. I haven't had any sores for the last couple of years. I think many people are living with herpes and don't realize it because it can manifest itself in a fairly benign way. My wish for you is that you have as easy of a time as I did. You need to try to not define yourself by a disease you have but rather by the person you are :) You deserve to have someone in your life and don't settle for just anybody just because of this. Be picky.