Hi,
I really need to know some basics on how people feel after stopping opiates. I take them differently then some people. I only take 8 or 9 -7.5mgs of hydrocodone in the morning just to get me through work at first. I also take tramodol for OCD which probably is not a good idea to take both. Although the hydro is when I can get it. Unfortunately, I has a grand-mal seizure 2 months back for the first time at 40 yrs. old (of course made it easier to get hydro). The neuro. doctor and phychiatrist don't think that had anything to do with the tramodol. (I did have a small are accident and lots of stress at the time).
But my question is, when I was off them and only taking tramodol, I felt better, like I could cope more with everyday life, but then the demon addiction still is there. So when I got hydro for a small concustion, my doctor is a little more lenient with giving them to me. I feel like an hour or so after taking them, I have severe anxiety, depression, and this weird disconnected feeling, like I wonder if I'm crazy, which leads to more panic. But I'm afraid it I stop taking them, I'm still gonna get the same isssues but now I won't know why. I am 90 percent sure my mental issues or from starting the hydro again. Does anyone else get bad anxiety when "coming down" from them. They make me so cranky and miserable but I don't take anymore til the next day, due to not being able to get many of them. It scares me so. I am not ready to tell my husband this stuff yet, and I know he doesn't understand the mental problems I have, he'll change the subject when I try to talke to him about it. I love this site, but does anyone think that actual NA meetings are better? I can't drive now so it's hard to get around. So a seizure and OCD don't help much with the anxiety I have to begin with. Sorry this is so long, but I feel like I'm gonna break down sometimes. I'll sit at my computer in the morning at work and sometimes just panic like I want to run away from it and sit in the bathroom to catch my bearings. I know it's from taking the pain meds again but I just can't stop like that! I hope someone can tell me if this is normal with the ups and downs of addiction. At least I know the source and can take steps to stop and deal with the time to get over it. Sorry this is long, but I need to talk to people here. Noone else understands or knows around me. I have no reason to be doing this to begin with. Please help! You seem like caring and awesome people here. Thanks for reading my rant if you did.

I do believe you can get quite depressed and cranky when coming off the V. I've felt that way at times, too. I've never taken that many at one time. I've only taken two or three a day at times. But I remember getting very depressed when that med wore off. If you can get to a meeting I think that would help you find the tools to cope and get yourself off of these meds. It's tough, though. It's a vicious cycle where your brain tricks you all the time. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time..but just know that you can find peace once you stop.