Hi Conan,
I was just checking in to see how Patsy is doing. I think of you often and have not seen an update on how she is doing. I hope your Easter was special and she was able to enjoy the day with the family.
Anyway, I am drained emotionally so off to bed. It has been a long, emotional weekend between Stan having a tough weekend and a funeral for a friend. (yes, cancer)
Kim

Conan, I second Kim's thoughts. I had not seen you post in a while and prayed that Patsy was still hanging on and improving. Please, when you can, let us know. Always, you and your little family are in our thoughts and prayers.

Peace, love, healing, and ALWAYS...prayers...

Jan

Hi Kim,

Patsy is doing fairly well. However, we were in the ER til 3:00 last night because she got dehydrated ...which was due to a virus she had. So I have been running on 2 1/2 hours of sleep and just came home from playing a double-header soft ball game. I don't regret it at all. 2 or 3 times a week I get a chance to get out with Shayne and be a kid again. You are right Kim, we all need an outlet. However, you feel it alot more when you get older :dizzy:

I am so sorry you had such an emotionally draining weekend. The strange thing is that you never no what tommorow might bring ...like that time Stan got out for the day. I pray that you have more special moments and "good days" to share. What treatment is Stan currently on? I sure have missed our talks, superwoman. Please let us know how you are doing and how we can better support you.

Jan, thanks for thinking of us. As I said, Patsy is doing fairly well. It appears that the Tarceva has halted the progression, but on the other hand we haven't made any significant progress against it.

I am glad to see you because I have been wondering how you've been. If you don't mind me asking, how are you have you been coping lately? You appear to be holding so well ...but like Bud, your a fighter too. I pray that God continue to direct you and comfort you as you continue your journey. As you do, I believe the "day" will come when we will all be able to look back through the valley which God has brought us through and then maybe we will understand "why" we suffer as we do.

Keep the faith,

conan

Hi Conan,
No wonder you were in my thoughts so much and then to come to find out Patsy was in the ER! I do hope and pray she is feeling much better and is keeping hydrated! Patsy sounds like an amazing woman with an amazing man standing by her side! I keep you two in my thoughts and prayers for the Tarceva to do the trick and let Patsy enjoy life to the fullest. It was odd but a couple of days ago Stan and were talking and for almost the last 2 years I have been taking care of him and forgot what it was like when he went to work everyday and before he became sick we just took that for granted. We just cherish the moments now when he can come to the kitchen and eat with all of us and talk with the boys. It is great you have an outlet and can play softball with Shayne and hopefully smile and laugh some while out on the field.
Oh Conan, if you only could know what a wonderful lady Jan truly is! She has been wonderful to me along with many others on this posting board!
I too miss our talks on the posting board, but with our schedules I know it makes it hard but I am trying to visit the board more often.
I am fading and need some sleep, but wanted to thank you for getting back regrading Patsy.
You remember to take care of youself. Oh, Stan had a doctor's appt yesterday and he is losing weight but on top of it retaining fluid in his feet/ankles and legs so they are getting concerned. He had some blood work for kidney function. He is also not eating like he use to and sleeps most of the time. I will keep you posted.
Take Care and thanks for your support!
Kim Slosarczyk

It was odd but a couple of days ago Stan and were talking and for almost the last 2 years I have been taking care of him and forgot what it was like when he went to work everyday and before he became sick we just took that for granted. We just cherish the moments now when he can come to the kitchen and eat with all of us and talk with the boys.

Kim-

What you said is both heart-breaking and heart-warmimg. When I look back 2 years ago I realize that I too took so muh for granted. I remember when I was going to school at night, I would come home from work and play with the kids til dinner was on the table, spent some tilme with Patsy, then I was off to study while she continued to take care of these things. But you have to understand, that is what she loved to do. I found a paper she wrote in high school once where she outlined her ambitions as simply being a wife and mother. Her worst nightmare was to have her kids in child care while she worked, so we lived modestly and she made a career out of homemaking. Now she gets depressed because she cannot do near what she used to and I have for now given up school to try to maintain what we had. However, I can't manage it like she did ..even with help.

Most of what we had has been taken from us .....except for our love for one another. We have truly kept our vows "for better or worse" in the most sincere way. But oh how deperately I try to create opportunities for those special moments and it doesn't happen ...but comes when you least expect it. At any rate, like you and Stan, we cherish those moments.

It has been a draining last couple of days as we have had a virus going around. I am also seeing changes in the little ones (more anxiety) whiich concerns me. It makes me wonder how your boys are doing? Have you seen them go through different stages as long as Stan has been sick?

Also, what are you oncs planning at this stage? Will Stan be going in for more regular visits? I hope I am not being intrusive, but it truly weighs on my heart and quite honestly, I don't knwo what to say other than I am here if you need me. As always, you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

conan

Hi Conan,
I hope the virus has left and everyone is feeling back to normal. You asked about seeing a change in the kids and different stages and yes I have. Anthony still continues to struggle back and forth with his stomach problems and continues to be on the meds, but very limited over the last 3 weeks. I did notice though when he was home for spring break he had to take the medicine more often as I know being home on a daily basis and seeing his dad wears on him. I try to come up with some new project each weekend to keep him busy so this weekend he is doing some planting. I let him pick the plants and he knows how to plant them so it gives him time to take pride in his work. I honestly think if we did not have wild animals jump our fence he would live outside fulltime! Andrew has shown more emotion lately since we had to go a funeral last weekend and I feel for him. I have been trying to talk more with Andrew and try to get him to open up more. Sad to say that Stan's mood has changed for the worse and he has become mean and angry toward us over the last 3 days. We are keeping our distance so the weekend has not been as relaxing as I had hoped. I am trying to do anything to please him, but think at this time distance is the best. (as heartbreaking as it is)
You asked what the onc has planned....well, tomorrow is Stans last chemo. He has scans scheduled for May 1st and will get the results several days later. Stan and I did speak Friday about going forward with a 6th line of chemo but we don't think he is strong enough. We just pray that this chemo has brought some type reduction, but given the way he is feeling I am very concerned. Stan has lost all quality and I pray everyday for a smile from him, a laugh or just a day with no pain.
I think of you and Patsy and the kids often and do hope that you are enjoying the weekend. I hope Patsy is up and about and being able to enjoy the things we took for granted before cancer. I do have to say though that Stan and I had a good marriage before the cancer (of course the usual disagreements, but nothing terrible) but now we are closer than ever. Amazing what a terrible disease can do to one's life in every aspect.
I need to think about making lunch soon.
My Prayers are with you,
Kim

Hi Kim-

I'm sorry it has taken so long to reply, but things have been hectic. Patsy is still struggling with dehydration. I am struggling to take care of her and keep up with everything else. anyhow, we had our onc visit on friday and they are starting to think it is time to change treatments. We will get scan a week from tommorow and follow up on that friday. Chances are she will be going to a third line chemo and will loose her hair. That is going to be so hard on the kids. I hope things are well and perhaps improving where you are. I am really tired, so I will try to check back in tommorow.

take care,

conan

Hi Conan,
I completely understand about things being hectic so no worries. Whenever you can post that is wonderful, but if you cannot I understand! I too am struggling at this point and feel so torn between everything right now and trying to stay sane, yet positive. My youngest son has been a COMPLETE handful lately on top of everything else. I was sorry to hear they are looking into yet another line of treatment for Patsy. Why is making them consider another line of treatment? Also, sorry she is having such a problem with hydration. We have been fortunate with hydration.
It has been really sad around our house watching Stan struggle more and more each day. He only gets up to eat. He still continues to sleep thru several breakfast a week now and yesterday only ate an English Muffin and piece of banana for breakfast and never ate again until 7:30pm last night! He slept the entire day and tells me he just does not feel well....says it is just a terrible feeling of not feeling well all the time. We will hear what the doctor has to say on Friday when we get the results of the scan.
I need to go for now Conan. I will continue to keep Patsy and your family in my prayers. Hang in there Conan as I know it is tough raising a family and caring for someone with cancer. My heart is breaking for Stan right now and then after reading your posting I am so sad about Patsy too. There must be some good news coming soon. I must keep positive and have faith! (and you too)
Kim