Ok, so I had my first counceling today, no suprize, she asked my billions of questions about my background, family, uni, relationship etc.

I was suprize that I actually todl her a lot of things that I wouldn't normally tell people or friends. I suppose it's bcoz she doesnt know me and I don't know her... it all sounds positive, but I still doubt abt it.

Coz it recalled a lot of memories from my past, especially about my dad who passed away when I was abt 10, and I have been thinking about it for pretty much the whole day, and I am now really missing him... amazingly I never actually missed him, I do think abt it sometimes, but not missing him and acutally want to cry. But now I do...

So instead of keep thinking abt him, and upsetting myself. I went to a pub with frds, and I just kept drinking... I know I shouldn't be, but at least it made me feel better... and of cause, campany from frds also help...[B][B]

Counseling can certainly bring up a lot of emotions, especially painful ones. I give you a lot of credit for taking this first step.

The drinking can be a form of repression and numbing out memories. It is one thing hanging out with friends, but something else drinking. I don't mean to lecture you, but instead of drinking maybe you can try healthier options like keeping a journal, exercising, drawing, painting, board games, crosswords puzzles, reading, etc. Recovery is a long road and it's going to be really difficult at times.

Best of luck in your recovery. I hope that it is a positive experience for you.

Extra, avoiding your feelings about your dad's passing will do nothing but guarantee that you will always be troubled. Humans must mourn! You must allow yourself to feel your sadness, it will not kill you and it will not devour you. It is okay to feel sad. Feeling anything means that you are alive. If you allow yourself to experience your sadness it will pass. Your feelings will pass if you will allow them to come. Your feelings will not go away any other way, they will just continue to simmer under the surface and interfer with your life. Make sure that you get any support you need to deal with your feelings - your therapist or coming here. You can do this.