Hi,

I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance in March last year after not being able to get pregnant. I was healthy weight and ate healthily and exercised, but was told I had this condition because of unhealthy lifestyle. I was told that I had to eat a special diet and exercise a lot to complement the medication in treating PCOS and insulin resistance.

I did change my diet and I exercised more, but then my periods which had been irregular, stopped altogether. I lost a fair bit of weight (considering I didn't weigh that much to begin with and I am only small anyway) - but was apparently supposed to be still big enough to ovulate and get periods (according to some doctors). According to a dietician, I had to put on more weight and eat more fat (a big no-no if you are insulin resistant!). So I did that and I have found that after a while my periods have come back - irregular but have come back.

BUT I am finding as time goes on that I really REALLY hate food, and I really don't want to eat. The only thing that makes me eat is when I think I won't get a period if I don't eat. I blame the food for PCOS, I blame it for infertility. I feel if I eat, then I will not get a period because I am insulin resistant, yet if I do not eat, I will not get a period anyway, so I am in a lose-lose situation.

I have tried to be so healthy with what I eat, yet my periods are still irregular - like they were before I had to start eating to control my insulin levels and before I started medication for my insulin levels. I wonder what is the point of eating so healthily and hating food when it doesn't make a difference to my cycle - when in the past, before I even knew about a diet to control insulin, I was eating healthily enough to still get periods (although irregular). Sometimes I know that it gets to the stage of being better that I eat regardless of whether it is good for insulin or not, and yet in those situations, I end up feeling guilty for eating something that is not as good for my insulin levels.

I hate all of this because before I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance and told it was because of my lifelstyle, I was so much healthier. I had such a healthy attitude to eating and food and I ate healthily with treats every now and then, and no feeling guilty about having treats, and I exercised as well and didn't hate food and exercise like I do now. The whole PCOS thing has messed up food and healthily lifestyle for me. I want things to go back to where they were before the PCOS diagnosis. But I don't know how to get there.

Anyone being in this situation? Anyone able to help?