Hi all,
This may be a dumb question, but I am unsure of what actaully defines depression.

I mean, well, I can't tell if that;s what I have going on or if it's something"worse" or maybe just a bunch of things combined.

I just feel so screwed up lately.

I should say that I have OCD, pretty severely and am not on meds, except for Ativan for insomnia- which is a very recent addtion, like two days ago.

Well, my OCD is pretty awful, but managable enough, except, undee times of severe stress, it skyrockets along with a bunch of other symptoms-
and it gets so confusing, emotionally, that I can' tell what's going on with me.

So, here my question:
Besides the obvious, what are the signs of severe depression?

sINCE my break up with my boyfriend, I have done everything in my power (except start meds) to keep my head up.
Some days are ok, but they are less and less frequent, most of the time I feel like crying, sad about my ex, but mostly just haunted by this intense dread and sort of "falling" feeling.
I don;t know how to expalin it.
And now I can;t get to sleep, no matter how exhausted I am, I either can;t stop crying enough to relax, or I'll almost get to sleep- and then-suddenyl my heart starts pounding a million miles an hour, and I can;t get to bed, just stay slightly above sleep or hours, even when I feel relaxed.
I am eating right, exercising, trying to stay socail.
But I feel like I am going nuts,
I feel so sad, so hopeless, confuses, and with this semi-constant sense of dread- of what I don't know!!
Is this depression, or soemthing else?
Please help, I am feeling so alone!
:confused:

Hi Mochi, I can't answer your original question but I would like to make a comment about your OCD. I used to have anxiety. I believe that many of us who have anxiety have never been fortunate enough to ever experience the feeling of security because of our upbringing. This is what I believe needs to be build into your life. I think that understanding what happened in your life to make you feel so insecure and then working through that and realizing that you were a child then who had no control and understanding and now you are an adult who has control (but you don't realize it now) and who now can understand. That was then but this is now. Your anxious feelings are coming from your past but are being triggered now. If you can beat down those feelings by understanding that you are safe now you can start to build a foundation of security. Doing your OCD routine does not bring security, it only makes you think that it does and keeps you from doing things that really will bring security into your life.

I think you are experiencing forms of situational depression from your breakup with your boyfriend. Some of what you are experiencing is kind of normal given the situation; however, you are probably magnifying it out of proportion and getting anxious about being depressed and obsessive about being anxious. It does not sound like severe or clinical depression - but could get there. I think it would help if you could talk to someone, preferrably a professional, about your feelings regarding the boyfriend and the breakup. Or, perhaps writing in a journal or diary. I suspect there is still a lot of unspoken words and feelings which need to be expressed either in writing or in person to a very close friend or, preferrably, a professional. Although crying is a good release of emotional energy, it may be that you need to also express content - ie, your thoughts, beliefs, values, dissapointments, expectations, future plans, etc.,etc....in words.