One month ago I got diag. with herpes 2. I am devastated. Feel as though I don't have anything to look forward to in my life. What man will ever come near me again? I feel so so stupid for not being aware of this virus. Believe it or not I never realized this was for LIFE. I will be honest, I never even realized alot of things until I got this virus. All the doc. I went to see all deminished my problem, gave no support what so ever, like I was over reacting and rushed me out. 98% of my knowledge came from a computer. This was once ref. to as a "sexual leprosy" yet it's ironic leprosy has a cure if I'm not mistaken, but herpes doesn't. I pray so much that the researchers, pham.co., and all that are included with the process of finding a cure for herpes just hurry up and make it happen. I can't understand if truly all these people are infected, why there isn't a current and a creditable status on a cure for this? How many people have hurt themselves, turned to alcohol, spiraled into other things to try to ease this pain. Not everyone has family, friends or a support sys. I'm just floored at the realization that I feel my life is on hold. I'm alive,but I CAN'T live my life. IM MOURNING MY LIFE FOR GODS SAKE BUT I'M BREATHING!! I can't sleep, eat and all I do is think of my life before the virus. I understand with other diseases and health issues this almost seems unimportant, but emotionally this has destroyed me. I am seeing a therapist. Please someone help me and give me information that I can hang on to give hope that a cure is on it's way.

Hi...I have felt exactly as u have and I was especially devastated when I learnt that herpes can be potentially alot more serious than what the docs just shrug off......I'd advise u to learn about potential complications as it is imp. to be informed. I won't list them here since I don't want to depress u further....but just read up on them when u are feeling less vulnerable.

I have alternated between periods of hope and trying to psyche myself to feel brave and then shifted to periods of really dark despair.....what makes me especially angry is that unless I had sat for hours on the internet to educate myself, nobody wud have told me all that one shud know about this virus. It is an ugly situation.

Most of the times I hinge on thoughts that maybe just maybe a cure will be had in the near future......I too fail to understand why the health establishment is not making this a bigger priority than what it has , according to whatever i have read on the net. I think it is outrageous.

Today I was checking and rechecking for any new developments at the companies that are researching this. The most promising thing that I have found is of hope for a potentially therapeutic vaccine or in other words, a cure
being studied by a researcher at the university of montana . U cud look it up
by googling "herpes vaccine at university of montana". now if only scientists like him wud speed up their efforts to begin human trials.

For now I am just going to pray hard for a cure for the sake of all those who are devastated by it, me definitely included.

Blake, Oh my goodness. Darling, I know this isn't great news and that it isn't something that anyone would want for themself. REalize that like any bad news you need time to absorb it and discover the way in which you WILL cope with it. Give yourself that time.

Meanwhile, Listen!!! I don't know how old you are but I have known so many loved ones that have contracted Herpes. Don't listen to those negative, antiquated notions of the disease. SO many people have this virus. I see advertisements on TV for herpes medications.

I have it in the form of cold sores on my face. They are awful, embarrassing and the whole nine yards. I have one as I write to you.

My roommate/bestfriend in college and my little sister have Herpes 2. They both felt like you did too. You'll get over it. You said it. There are diseases out there that are so much more serious and maybe that is why the dr. didn't treat you the way you expected or wanted. I'm not saying the he/she should have rushed you out but compared to some of the diagnosis they make... this one will not end your life.

My advice to you is to give yourself time. BE honest with yourself. Remind yourself that you are still the same person you were before the diagnosis and that now you just have something that has challenged you in your life. WE all have bad things happen to us. It is part of life. I don't know how old you are but today I turn 40 (at 5pm). Still 39, hee-hee.

Yes, things are going to be a little different now in that you are going to have to use some coping skills and DEAL with the pain(when it happens, some people don't have many outbreaks at all)and the ability to be honest and open when you enter a relationship that you think is significant. I doubt you are into one night stands and so when the guy comes along that you are getting serious about-be open and honest with him. Teach him about the disease, be open, ask him how he feels, answer his questions and if he is worth his weight in salt,he'll handle it. My sister contracted it when she was out and dating. She is a beautiful, smart and independent gal. She continued to date ALL the time and got really good at being HONEST with guys whe dated. The ball leaves your court at that time and you play it from there. That's all you can do. It is the right thing to do and you'll feel good about that.

My sister is now married(attorney) and is pregnant with her first baby. She can deliver vaginally with preventive med. My roommate is also married and has 2 babies that she delivered vaginally. So, my friend, cheer up. Be strong and realize that life is an experience both positive and negative. The only thing you can do is to choose to let it get you or you get it!. Talk to your therapist about coping skills. Develop them. Grab this challenge and don't be afraid of "never dating again". Your just going to have to be an open, confident, honest dater. Not that you aren't already, you know what I mean. So, as I go on and on....I will finish by saying that I know you will get past this. If you need to talk more. I'll checkin. Be strong and hang in there. bellalilly

What is this about the university of Montana???

I know exactly how you feel, I also found out about a month ago. I couldn't stop crying. I thought about going for counseling also. I didn't know anything about it either. I didn't know you could get it from me partner having a cold sore. Like you, my Dr. didn't tell me a thing, no support just told me and out the door I went. Since then I have read alot about it on the computer. My BF isn't really that supportive. He was when I was crying all he time but now that I'm not so much, he thinks I'm over it. I will never be over it. I still can't believe I have this and its forever. I never really thought about this disease and how it can alter your life. So I understand when you say you are mourning life. All the crying and screaming is not going to change the fact that we have this, so we can either fight it or accept this fact and do the best we can. Keep your head up

Get counceling if you thought of it. Do it!! I have so many emotions and I am angry so angry at myself for allowing this to happen. I was blind to getting help keeping the person that gave me this away. I let my good nature blind me to something that other women would have seen a mile away. I feel so stupid. He was smart and took advantage of a weak person. Being so alone and not having people to protect me, I was blind . not talking to anybody and when I did speak it was the wrong person, this coworker took it as a joke. I was over my head. I thought I was tough and could handle things, but I wasnt. I now have something that will remind me of how evil people are and how now I paid an ultimate price for my stupidity. I blame myself for allowing a process that ended in disaster and I believe this person knew he had this and didn't say it. That's evil just evil. Not only do I have major regrets, I have a virus for life and I also have to see this person periodicaly and theres nothing I can do. I pray God heals me and gives me strenth because I can't do this alone.

I still fighting it, not to mention I can't afford counseling. yesterday I thought I felt like I was having another break out, it seem so soon after the first. I just want to forget that I have it. I've heard some people say that they have only had the the first one and then none ever again. I was hoping for that but I really think I'm having another, I can't take this. I just stopped crying and was feeling a little better and now I have to do this again. I have nothing left, I feel nithing. I tried to have sex with my BF and its hurts and I don't feel anything nor do I really feel like having sex. Its make s me sad to think I might never feel that passion/desire again. I feel sexy or attractive any more. Do you know anything about the sexual side affects of H*****?

Remember.... stress is huge with the onset of outbreaks. Try to relax!!!!!!!!

Ok, It's hard to relax since I'm so angry and hurt. I don't know how those that have had this for sometime deal with it. I'm nowhere near dealing with this and I'm scared of how my body will breakout again. My symtoms after day I got this was tingling,itching,burning,swelling and I do believe a bump near my bottom. I don't know if it will be the same, less or worst? Valtrex gave me severe headaches. So I don't know how to relax with this it's always always always on my mind.

Thank you for caring.

Your welcome. I do understand. This is a new, unfortunate experience for you. Give yourself time and take a big breath. It isn't going to bother you all the time. I'm telling you, try to relax. It dosen't help to get so worked up about it. It won't make it go away and all it does it make it stay longer or appear.
Your right, I do care, even though I don't know you. I know so many people with this and even yesterday I was talking to a male friend(gorgeous and on the dating scene) and he even made the comment that it isn't a big deal these days. You just have to be ready to be honest when the time comes(with a partner). He even said, if someone loves you, or enjoys spending time with you they are not going to drop you b/c of this. Most really won't. I believe that. You have to focus more on all the good things in your life and try to find a way to cope with this. I know it hasn't been very long and I'm sure it will get easier with time. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? lizzie

oh yea, aren't there other new drugs out there that you can try. Other than Valtrex. That's what I take when I have outbreaks and it dosen't seem to bother me. see what's out there. tell your dr.

I don't take valtrex for anymore due to the cost... I take the older/generic version of it which works just fine for my HSV2. The meds I take is called acyclovir. I actually had to research it because the doctors neglect to advise you about it. Between the acyclovir and Zovirax (ointment) I do just fine. Plus, keeping your stress levels down, anger, etc. is a big part of controlling your outbreaks. Regarding new relationships... when you're ready, you will find someone out there for you. I just started dating and my guy is very accepting of the herpes. Before I met him, I was dating a pharmaceuticals salesman, and when I told him of my problem, he was like... yeah, thats it? That talk was a breeze! Anyways, right now, it sounds like your in major shock over the newness, however, at least you have people you can talk to about it. That's something I didn't have when I was 18 and had my first outbreak. I've had it for 19 years now. Things will get better for you! For me, the outbreaks are a mere annoyance - much like getting a pimple. I start taking the medication at the first sign of an outbreak and they don't last long, and most times they really don't even get started because I do start the meds so quickly.
You will be fine, and you will get deal with this "little problem". Because, that is all it really is. Good luck, hope you feel better! Angie

It is very upsetting when you first find out you have GH but over time you do get used to it. OB occur less often and and become mild. I take Valtrex and OB are barely noticiable. You will come to realize that in between ob you are perfectly fine. When you come to a point when you realize it is not a big deal, you will be able to tell future partners in a relaxed way. Get information to give them the facts. As others have said, it is not the end of your life. It may improve your life since it forces you to have honest relationships with people who really care for you. It will happen. Things will look very different in 6 months to a year.

you no what im glad im not the only one who got treated like i was a freak, i went to my doctors i was so worried i was told i had herpes and they didnt give me no support no information i didnt no the first thing about herpes and as u did i lernt it from the internet finding out what i can an can not do but u no what u got to live you life i have learnt that its not the end of the world and trust me there is someone for you and they will accept u i am still with the person that i got herpes from over a year now... i lost my virginity to him and got herpes so i can say yes im depressed but im learning to cope x

I would have been able to get through it alot easier if I had people to talk with, the internet and someone to go through it with like you. I kind of muddled through the whole thing on my own. I didn't have internet available to me back then. Seems like you're sounding a little more positive. So, thats GREAT! You will be fine. It's really all how you look at things... when I look around at all the problems that other people have - I look at it as I'm lucky that herpes is all I have to deal with. It doesn't affect my life, or my happiness, or who I am.

If you've had herpes for a year, then you've been coping with it. Work on being happy, put a smile on your face, don't be so hard on yourself and start enjoying your life.

It's easy to say, but in all seriousness and as there is no cure at the moment, your best bet is to focus on your own health and keeping the ob's to a minimum and shortening their duration.

I was devestated when i got my first ob 2 and a half years ago, especially as i had asked my partner twice whether i needed to know anything regarding std's which he might have. He said he was all clear. It wasn't until 2 and a bit years later that he told me he had herpes and was at the start of an o/b. Even though we used condoms i still got type 2 of this virus.

When i thought something odd was going on i went to my gp and he told me to ignore the symptoms and that it was a little rash from sweat as mine was next to my anal area. I then went to a sexual health clinic and they swabbed the area and i found out i was positive.

I used to document every o/b and keep a log so i could track my progress, but this type of activity is futile and a negative one. So then i began doing all the research possible and trying this and that to see what might help me speed up the recovery process. I was far better putting my energies in this type of activity than the blame game and anger and yes we are still together as i realised despite the herpes i wanted to be with him anyway as he had all the qualities i wanted in a relationship.

In my first year i only got a few ob's, but someway into the 2nd year i began getting more and more frequent ob's and they would occur just after ovulation which made me realise something in my menstrual cycle was making me o/b at the same time each month.

I now use echinacea drops a week prior to ovulation and for two weeks after and i have had more success with this than with anything else. I've also applied carmex ointment to the area where i generally feel any tingling or minor itching. So something i'm doing is helping, otherwise it's mere coincidence.

You can't sit back and let this virus rule your life. You must take care of your mental and physical health, your diet, try topical products to speed up recovery process, or give vitamins or garlic a go and do a tonne or research. It's imperative to keep your immune system boosted b/c if you are run down, tired and on a bad diet you can get ob/s from all of this too.

The last thing is that even though we all have genital herpes, we are all individuals and what works for one might not work for the other, but by all means do not give up and keep trying new things b/c you never know when you can discover something which works for you :)