here is my (30y, m) story, which happened in Switzerland.

I always used to be a healthy person.

* But, in May 2002, in alcohol-induced state of recklessness, exposed myself to grave STD risk. Partially unprotected intercourse, possibly menstruational blood involved. I remember having dry blood on my lips next day.

* next morning the girl told me out of the blue that she had a history of hard drug abuse, denied IV use. Anyway, she also lamented about constant tiredness, said she will die soon, etc. But she insisted she was HIV negative, but i never saw a test.

* 2 weeks later, lymph node start swelling, i come down with flu like symptoms, night sweats. Bingo. From that on i knew i was infected with something, most likely HIV.

* However, i tested consistently negative on HIV 1/2 antibody tests, combined p24 tests, HIV1/2 PCR tests (by RNA and DNA), had a viral culture with tests for retrovial transcripate activity (PERT), and some more. All negative!

Also tested for Hepatitis A,B,C,D, especially B and C, both via antigen, antibody and PCR. All negative.

All other STDs: negative, too.

So, i shall be happy, right?

The catch:

- i still have swolen lymph nodes, especially in my arms. in 2002 doc's dismissed them, but now in 2007, they agree to take a look. i am currently waiting for lymph node biopsy. (other reasons, like Cat Scratch disease, Cancer, rheuma, etc. have been ruled out by blood tests)

- i still suffer from fatigue, but i admit that some of it might be psychosomatic

- i wanted to confirm my negative tests via CD4, expected to see something around 800-1100, but instead i got this:

31.07.02 CD4 499, CD4% 33, CD4:CD8 1.4
28.08.02 CD4 592, CD4% --, CD4:CD8 1.3
15.10.02 CD4 472, CD4% 45, CD4:CD8 1.6
31.01.03 CD4 810, CD4% 41, CD4:CD8 1.39
08.02.07 CD4 604, CD4% --, CD4:CD8 1.28

- doctors tell me i do not HIV, but i am very skeptikal, because to me, it appears there are too many "coincidences".


the main problem:

- i met a wonderful woman. she knows about my history, and she will think about it (she lives 2500 miles away at the moment, so there is plenty opportunity of thinking for both of us).

- even though i see negative results, my guts tell me something is not right with me, and that it would be reckless to endanger the health of this wonderful, pure person i met.

- in short, i don't know what to do!! :-((


i am feeling totally in limbo,

has anybody a similar experience?

what would you do if you were in my shoes?


thanks in advance,
Erik

forgot to add, last negative HIV1/2 antibody test was 2007 (negative), last CD4 value was 603.

between 2003 and 2007 i did not do any tests, because i tried to forget it, get over it, after ID doc(s) gave me the "ok".

not to sound harsh but i would advise you to get off the internet looking at symptoms and get yourself some counsiling.

you are negative and won't believe what others have told you so i'm sure you won't believe me. there are other things that can cause those symptoms besides hiv.symptoms have NO factor in determining your hiv status ONLY TESTING does and the testing is VERY accurate.of course you are reading about your symptoms and they all point to hiv but they mean NOTHING in determining your status. epstiens barr syndrom and other viral and bacterial infections will give the same symptoms plus stress and you over examining every thing you feel will make them worse then they really are.

imo they shouldn't even list symptoms anywhere because all they do is put fear and doubt into people for no reason.

good luck in finding what is wrong with you, but if i was gambling, the house would be on you being hiv negative.

thanks for your assessment, Smiteler

i hope you are right

but i any case, i can honestly tell you, all i want is a clear medical explanation of my lymph node issues, so that i can know how to plan for the next time.

i will see what the biospy yields. if they tell me, it's some past issue, or not even lymphoid tissue, then i can more easy put it to rest. If they, however, tell me, yea you have an ongoing infection of SOME kind, then i will definitely want to know. Because even if it's not HIV, how should i know if it is contagious or not, etc, etc.

but, thanks again for your frank opinion
E.

just so you know, the people i have asked and have talked to alot (and they are experts in the hiv research field) tell me that the tests these days are very accurate, so much that they say they are 100% dead on. i hope for you that you find out what it is that you feel is wrong, but like i said before i highly doubt hiv is causing it.
its seems alot of people go by their symtoms and don't believe thier tests and when they look at the symtoms hiv keeps popping up so they feel the tests must be wrong.put that behind you and i have learned a while ago that if you can't get the answers you need, find someone else who can help you.