hello everyone, I'd like to introduce myself. I found this website a couple of months ago when I was in a panicd search for help w/ addictions. I've been battling depression, anxiety, addiction and anorexia my whole life. At times I've felt quite hopeless, other times I feel like I'm at the doorstep of a whole new happy life for myself. I go back and forth often, so much so that sometimes I think I'm making myself crazy! I've had every diagnosis in the book. And, I've tried many, many different types of med.s Is this sounding familiar to anyone?...
I went to see a new doctor the other day cuz I have to have my liver panel watched regularly due to some liver issues (many years of WAY too many med.s) This young, gentleman is taking over for my regular family doc, who is retiring soon. He is fresh out of school and I'm thinking " oh great! Now I'm stuck with some dumb kid that doesn't know anyhting yet!" (I dont like how rude I can be sometimes)
Imagine my surprise when this kid tells me something that makes sense! He tells me to go home and research 'Bipolar Disorder'. After arguing with him because I know more than he does, right?:) he tells me that there is more info. and effective treatment now than there was years ago when my doc played around with the idea of manic depression as my diagnosis but we dismissed it because I didn't have what my previous doc thought were real manic episodes. Now that I'm learning more and more, I see that perhaps there were periods of 'hypomania'? but I didn't know any such term existed until recently... It's kinda all becoming more clear to me- maybe his diagnosis is correct. It gives my already crazy, obsessive mind something to think about... any thoughts?...

Hello,

Two things:
a) It makes sense.
b) Bipolar disorder is becoming the new catch-all diagnosis and is beginning to be really over-used.

That being said, given your history, he very well may be right. One way to find out is to see if you respond to certain medications...so you very well might want to go along with him for awhile. Or you could go to a board-certified psychiatrist for an evaluation.

I was just writing a post to Leomia in which I was talking about the newer research that is now including more categories into the over all umbrella of bipolar disorder, or as it used to be called, "manic depression." There is BP2 and BP-NOS (not otherwise specified!!) and I have a whole book on depressions that don't respond to medications that are now being called "soft bipolar." The general public thinks of mania as the classic type which was always defined as euphoria or grandiosity (grandiose thinking, thoughts). But there is also hypomania which often presents as agitation, rage, irritability, anger, trouble sleeping, etc.

Often BP is first diagnosed when someone has been battling depression for awhile and goes in to seek treatment. S/he's given an antidepressant and after taking it awhile, starts exhibiting other symptoms...can't sleep, can't control anger or agitation, flies off the handle for no reason, has racing thoughts...etc....and then discovers the med has flipped them into hypomania.

Also it is very common for those who have BP to self-medicate. Something between 60-75% of BPs use drugs or alcohol in an attempt to control their symptoms. Unfortunately, this almost always makes things worse...but when they get on the proper medications, the need to use lessens or goes away. This was the case with my son who is now 25.

There are two very good websites where you can go for accurate information. One is the National Institute for Mental Health and the other is NAMI.org. NAMI is a national organization that has state and local chapters in every state that provide educational programs, support and is also an excellent source for referrals.

Hope somewhere in all this information you will have one of those "a-ha" moments where something will sound like what you are experiencing. Bipolar disorder is the most treatable of all the mental illnesses. I hope this will put you on the path to recovery and that happy life you're looking for. :cool:

Welcome to this board. Please post with your questions and concerns.
:wave: Tsohl

Welcome JKM! I also have a similar situation, as in type 2 or what Tsohl said about a new kind maybe that is me the BP-NOS - I am currently in London but trying to move back to MA, USA so I am used to the way they do things in the states and over here it seems pulling teeth to get help. I did just get a new doc though so I have to hope that they will finally sort it out. what meds I am on are not working, so I am now so low I am very... well everything BP can be I guess you can say! not stable in the least! But luckily my hubby is so nice and trys to help and puts up with me anyways, God bless him!

I have also had many types of meds and hate them all. Meds are tricky. I have never had insurance to pay for the right stuff or been with a doc long enough to see... and in UK I sort of ignored it till recently. bad me!

I dont get manic very often maybe a few times, and when I do I push those I love away and feel like I am jeckyl and hyde which is so hard because that makes it a lonely road!

Well I wish you the best of luck and listen to tsohl! Everyone I have heard on here thinks of her as mother tsohl! and she is quite wise and smart about all these things (more so thana lot of docs I might dare say!)

tshol, havent read your post didnt know you replied till I saw you say so here as I was about to post :)

Leomia

:wave:

Hope somewhere in all this information you will have one of those "a-ha" moments where something will sound like what you are experiencing.

yep, had a couple "a-ha" moments. I have some fears about playing with the med's because of my liver issues but it can't be much worse than how I'm feeling now, right? I'll think about it. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it. I'm beginning to see the world a little differently these days and all though I know I still ahve lots of work to do... I can only see things getting better from here. I'll keep my fingers crossed.:)

you are right to worry about meds with the liver but just make sure you get it checked and I know you will! My brother had a big issue with depakote and his liver it was almost life - threatening so you know the drill anyways.

good luck!

:)

Leomia

thanks for the replies... I've decided to make a follow up appt. w/ the new doc and discuss med's. I'm nervous but the more I read, the more I think I'm doing the right thing. I was going through the sypmtoms post at the beginning of this thread and I almost fell outta my chair! My jaw is still hitting the floor. Thats me. It's almost scary... something that I've been trying to explain to ppl all my life can be summed up in a nice tidy little thread... Putting words to my emotions is amazingly helpful!
I hope you all have a great day. jkm

oh! p.s. I'm on prozac right now and although I have more energy and less depression, I often feel more irritable and on edge... like if you make me mad I might swing on you. Doesn't make sense to me and I dont like myself when I act like that but I don't seem to be able to stop myself?...Frustrating! Thanks again for listening.

Maybe you should print it out ?? LOL! I know its funny things like that isnt it? well You are doing the right thing. It can only improve by seeing a doc and finding the right meds. I have heard it can take about a year of trial and error and for me they put me on something and left me there. I didnt realize I had other options because I hated what I was on was doing to me, so now I am on such a low dose so it will be easy to switch but its really hard to live , let me tell you that much! so in 2 weeks I see my doctor and they better give me some meds or I think my hubby is gonna run away!
:)

good luck to you!

Leomia

Hello ladies,

First, thanks for the kind words, Leomia.

I just wanted to remind you that BP affects the part of the brain that allows you to see that you have a "dis-ease." It is so common in those who have BP but are not medicated to believe that s/he is right and everyone else, maybe even everyone else in the whole universe is wrong. It is the very thing that keeps them for seeking the help that could make them better, and to me, that is sad.

Also research is increasingly making us aware that BP should be thought of as a degenerative disease when left untreated. Years ago people thought it might lessen as we age or might go away entirely. Now that it is possible to use spectral imaging to "see" the parts of the brain, doctors can now see that there are physical changes that are clearly visible on these images in untreated individuals. We now know that if the illness is left untreated, it almost always worsens as the individual ages, the episodes of mania or depression get closer together, with fewer times of stability in between, and that the symptoms become more severe.

Also, the really good news is that there are some amazing new drugs in the pipeline that will be able to target the specific area of the brain that is affected -- and it does vary from one individual to another. The new meds will zero in on the area that needs "fixing" and will leave the rest of the brain unaffected, resulting in few if any side effects. If you have to have BP, this is a good time as there are so many advances that will be coming in the near future!!

jkm ~ Please let us know how your appointment goes with your new doc. If your doc thinks you'd benefit from some treatment, you might ask about Lamictal. The one draw-back to lamictal is that it has to be introduced very slowly and then titrated slowly up to the therapeutic dosage. Otherwise there is the possibility of developing various rashes that break out if introduced too fast for the body to adjust. It works as a mood stabilizer and is especially effective in treating the depressive side.

My son takes 3 mood stabilizers. They each work slightly differently and together, they keep him stable and free of episodes...with very few side effects. And lest you think it was easy getting to this point, it took 2 years and switching pdocs 4 times to find that magic combination!!! But it was worth it. He's getting his life back and is once again looking forward to a promising future.

take care, friends.
:wave: Tsohl

your welcome Tshol! I really do think you are one of the godsends on these boards you are so smart and know all these amazing things! when I move back to the states I will have to ask you more in depth about things because in England not sure if they believe in the meds the USA uses so that is gonna be tricky to get put on the right thing.
But I am glad they were able to sort out what your son needs and you are right, it is sad that this issue we have makes some of us think we dont need help. I sometimes feel the same when I am being a wacko and quickly come to my senses!
good luck on your appt and let us know how it goes, jkm!

:)

Leomia

Can I tell you something?... I'm really scared of the trip w/ med's. I've been over and undertreated all my life and it's caused some serious complications. Meaning the psych meds I was on before nearly killed me, I was in complete liver failure, but even worse... I dont trust doctors.
I'm going to copy and paste the added thought to my earlier post because I dont think you read it yet...

oh! p.s. I'm on prozac right now and although I have more energy and less depression, I often feel more irritable and on edge... like if you make me mad I might swing on you. Doesn't make sense to me and I dont like myself when I act like that but I don't seem to be able to stop myself?...Frustrating! Thanks again for listening.

Clearly the prozac is not working but I'm so scared...

Can I tell you something?... I'm really scared of the trip w/ med's. I've been over and undertreated all my life and it's caused some serious complications. Meaning the psych meds I was on before nearly killed me, I was in complete liver failure, but even worse... I dont trust doctors.

oh! p.s. I'm on prozac right now and although I have more energy and less depression, I often feel more irritable and on edge... like if you make me mad I might swing on you. Doesn't make sense to me and I dont like myself when I act like that but I don't seem to be able to stop myself?...Frustrating! Thanks again for listening.

Clearly the prozac is not working but I'm so scared...

I can see why you are afraid and dont trust doctors!:mad: But I think if you be completely honest with them they can help more, tell everything and that you dont trust him or her, because they are a doc, and say why, because of your past and almost getting killed with meds. Being honest will help them figure you out too.

I went on prozac for 4 days,. It made me flip out too, sounds similar. My hubby is still alive, he must have hid in a cave during that time. :p
I had the flip into mania and getting RAGE at anyone too so your not alone! tell this to the doc. and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers too, so let us know how it goes. Sorry when is the appt again? I have so many threads I am part of right now (well too many for my little mind to keep track of each specific detail but I remember the person and what is the matter with them at least if not dates of things. As long as I dont forget when my appt is!! :wave:
take care, Leomia

Prozac takes some time to get used to..but i have to be honest with you, it could make you worse. a mood stabilizer might really help ..Not every medication gets filtered thru the liver..thou most do.

[QUOTE=tsohl;2944070]Hello ladies,


Also research is increasingly making us aware that BP should be thought of as a degenerative disease when left untreated. Years ago people thought it might lessen as we age or might go away entirely. Now that it is possible to use spectral imaging to "see" the parts of the brain, doctors can now see that there are physical changes that are clearly visible on these images in untreated individuals. We now know that if the illness is left untreated, it almost always worsens as the individual ages, the episodes of mania or depression get closer together, with fewer times of stability in between, and that the symptoms become more severe.]

The information above about the physiological degenerative nature of bipolar disorder is absolutely true. I work for a psychiatric journal and just did a report on neuroimaging and BPD. They've even found a reduction in white and gray matter mass in the brains of non-medicated people who had BPD. (these exams were post-mortem, obviously) Talk about adherence motivation!