Hello Everyone,

I've been lurking on this boards for about a month now and finally decided to login and say hello. My question is a bit strange: I am not bipolar, but my husband has rapid cycling bipolar disorder. He's my best friend, the love of my life, and we've been together for almost 10 years now. So, here's the weirdness: At this moment, my thoughts are racing...and I mean RACING. I can't concentrate on my current work project. I feel ridiculously hyper and a little anxious and happy all at the same time. These remind me of hypomanic symptoms that my husband gets when he's coasting up the hill toward a manic phase. Is it possible to psychosematically take on the symptoms of your bipolar loved-one? I've noticed tat my moods tend to go with his: i.e. if he;'s depressed I get the blues, if he's happy I'm happy, etc. Is this just part of being married? Or are some bipolar symptoms "contagious" just by virtue of living with somebody who has them?

Any info will be appreciated. Thanks!
-Artemis
PS I'm not perfect, btw. I take Lexapro and xanax for anxiety/depression.:D

Hello Everyone,

Is it possible to psychosematically take on the symptoms of your bipolar loved-one? I've noticed tat my moods tend to go with his: i.e. if he;'s depressed I get the blues, if he's happy I'm happy, etc. Is this just part of being married? Or are some bipolar symptoms "contagious" just by virtue of living with somebody who has them?


you've put a different spin on this for me... I almost feel like I hear my husband talking to me through your words. crazy huh?
But thanks, cuz it allows me to see how difficult it can be for him. I'll be interested to see what ppl say in their responses. Have a good day. jkm

Hello jkm,

I'm touched by what you wrote. I know it's harder for the people with BPD, bu it's so bizarre how much the disorder affects the lives of the folks who care about people with BPD. So, your husband has expressed similar thoughts? Do his moods tend to go up and down (though perhaps less dramatically) along with your moods?

I'm curious to dee what other people say too. Thanks for responding!

-Artemis

I was just thinking of this very topic not long ago today. I know for me if I am around someone a lot I tend to pick up parts of their personality. It feels like me and not something that shouldn't be there. For example a girl I know has schizophrenia and being around her on a frequent basis I start to take on some of the things she feels or thinks. Until that particular thing happened it was never stuff I had even thought about let alone feel. So yes I do think it is possible since this is someone you are around a lot to pick these things up. Sort of I think a invisible cord that links you in a way not obvious to those who aren't around that often. And in some ways it is a blessing as well as a curse simply because while it does enable you to understand how he feels and perhaps to help him it also sends you for a loop too. For me I have found that being around people I have to pick and choose who I spend the most time with. I know with your hubby it is not exactly the case of pick and choose. But I am glad you brought up this topic and will check back to see what other people have to say on it. It I think is very interesting and perhaps you are empathic.

Eme:wave:

I have a couple different takes on this.
1. If you have bouts of depression and anxiety maybe you are actually undiagnosed bipolar? I'm having trouble grasping someone being able to "pick up" the feeling of racing thoughts, since it is internalized. wouldn't hurt to be evaluated.
2. That being said I pick up TONS of odd things when being around someone for awhile, so I'm sure it's possible.

Hey Shambles,

I knew someone was going to ask me if it was possible that I was undiagnosed BP. Since my husband was diagnosed two years ago, the thought has occurred to me more than once, but in a hypochondriac kind of way; like when you hear someone in your office has Strep-throat and suddenly it hurts to swallow.

In all seriousness, I have seen an MD for my anxiety/depression and I have spoken with my husband's psychiatrist. No one thinks I might be bipolar too, but it was a totally logical question and I'm glad you asked! Finally, I've seen mania first hand and I'm fairly sure I have never been manic, or at least not the kind of mania I've observed. (For example attempting to ride one's bike downtown at 2am to buy an illicit substance, naked.)

Now, I'm not admitting that my wonderful husband did THAT. We can just call the attempted illicit bike ride a hypothetical:D ....but I can assure anyone wondering that his lithium is at a much better level for him now and things have calmed down.

You are right, though, Shambles. Living with someone I'm so close to who has these episodes has made me wonder about myself. AND I do realize that were I having a manic episode I would be unaware of it, because that's how it works. Luckily, I am blessed with lots of family and friends who would be sure to let me know if I was suddenly not myself or too much myself.

I also agree that racing thoughts isn't typical empathy, like feeling sad because of something sad that happened to someone else. I'll mention it to my doc when I have my next follow-up, just to be sure.

Thanks,
Artemis

Emeraldeyes,

(I love your posts btw; I've read several.) I love the image of an invisible cord that you described, like a kind of emotional/psychic link that connects us to the people in our lives. (Sorry if that got a little new-agey for anyone).

I also completely identify with what you wrote about having to pick and choose who to be around, and though it pains me to write, I have plenty of moments where I wish I had just a night off from my hubby and his moods. Last night for example, he was having rage and agression:blob_fire . Because he is a decent sort, he didn't snap at me (well, maybe once) but yelled at the TV a lot and complained loudly and obscenely about random stuff that shouldn't illicit that kind of vehemence from anyone. It got hard to take after awhile. In that moment, I was definitely NOT "channeling" his mood...I wanted to go to a quiet room with a good book and relax. Being around that kind of negativity can wear on the nerves. I know he can't help it, but how do some of you handle those feelings if you have them, and how do the rest of you handle being around those feelings? Does rage and anger become "contagious" with anyone else? I know I can attribute more then one fight in my marriage to hubby being irritable and his irritability setting me off. Does that happen with anyone else?

So, your husband has expressed similar thoughts? Do his moods tend to go up and down (though perhaps less dramatically) along with your moods?-Artemis

For us, yes. I have a pretty strong personality and my moods tend to rub off on him. Certainly not as severe or often as myself, but definitely alike. I know this is as frustrating for him as it is for me. Similarly you and your husabnd?... Hopefully it helps to know your not alone. I know it helps me. Have a good evening. jkm

Before I found out that I am bipolar I dated two guys that were bipolar. I just thought that I was a bit eccentric so I was naturally drawn to these other eccentric types. They would understand how I felt most of the time and I didn't feel as 'weird' as I do with stable people. It took ten years of me being misdiagnosed with general anxiety disorder/panic attack disorder/depression and PTSD before we figured out it was BPII. I only knew about the more extreme type of BP1 from an ex.

I believe a lot in energy so I absolutely think you can pick up on someone's racing thoughts when they are giving off that type of energy.

I don't why I waited so long to sign in here. Thanks everybody. I feel a lot better. And it is great knowing I'm not alone...really knowing it.

Thanks again for all the input.

-Artemis

Before I found out that I am bipolar I dated two guys that were bipolar. I just thought that I was a bit eccentric so I was naturally drawn to these other eccentric types. They would understand how I felt most of the time and I didn't feel as 'weird' as I do with stable people. It took ten years of me being misdiagnosed with general anxiety disorder/panic attack disorder/depression and PTSD before we figured out it was BPII. I only knew about the more extreme type of BP1 from an ex.
Isn't it strange how this works? I'm quite introverted but 3 of my close friends are BP and two of the customers from my job who are BP are very drawn to me -- none of them even know I am and when I met my friends I didn't even know I was. Two of my best friends have OCD which I also have, and the third has a very obsessive personality! ODD. I never thought of it in the way of not being able to handle stable people, I thought it was just life experiences that threw us together, but that is too much for coincidence. I felt the same way about just being a bit eccentric and therefor being attracted to eccentric types, I miss JUST being eccentric because then I went with the flow of my moods and enjoyed life more, now I'm constantly disecting the mood I'm in.

Artemis, something you said earlier

"Does rage and anger become "contagious" with anyone else? I know I can attribute more then one fight in my marriage to hubby being irritable and his irritability setting me off. Does that happen with anyone else?"

I think I can give you some more of a clue. I am BPII and when I am feeling my anger and rage (I tend to often :mad: ) then hubby gets frustrated, mad, rage, and moody at this time.
I cant say about other things because I haven't noticed yet, because I never thought of that. I have often thought, hmm, hubby needs rage pills or something! :blob_fire

I also agree with everyone else who has replied so far about stuff, it all adds up and seems to make sense.

:wave: Take care
Leomia

Isn't it strange how this works? I'm quite introverted but 3 of my close friends are BP and two of the customers from my job who are BP are very drawn to me -- none of them even know I am and when I met my friends I didn't even know I was. Two of my best friends have OCD which I also have, and the third has a very obsessive personality! ODD. I never thought of it in the way of not being able to handle stable people, I thought it was just life experiences that threw us together, but that is too much for coincidence. I felt the same way about just being a bit eccentric and therefor being attracted to eccentric types, I miss JUST being eccentric because then I went with the flow of my moods and enjoyed life more, now I'm constantly disecting the mood I'm in.

That is the true stigma of the disorder, isn't it. My husband was the most self-confident, self-assured person I've ever known (who wasn't also a Narcissist) before he was diagnosed. Now, I watch him constantly second-guessing himself, not wanting to go out for fear of being judged, not even wanting to hang out with trusted friends(some of whom are also bipolar-it is funny how that works:) for fear of...I don't know really...being on disply? Like he's worried that people are wondering "What crazy thing will A_ do next?" Sometimes I wonder if self-stigmatization isn't worse than outside stigmatization.

Artemis, something you said earlier

"Does rage and anger become "contagious" with anyone else? I know I can attribute more then one fight in my marriage to hubby being irritable and his irritability setting me off. Does that happen with anyone else?"

I think I can give you some more of a clue. I am BPII and when I am feeling my anger and rage (I tend to often :mad: ) then hubby gets frustrated, mad, rage, and moody at this time.
I cant say about other things because I haven't noticed yet, because I never thought of that. I have often thought, hmm, hubby needs rage pills or something! :blob_fire

I also agree with everyone else who has replied so far about stuff, it all adds up and seems to make sense.

:wave: Take care
Leomia
Thanks! Nice to know we aren't the only ones who empath each other's moods. And I know what you mean by "hubby needs a rage pill," because sometimes my husband's irritable mood sends me into a whole other stratosphere of anger, and suddenly I'm the one who needs a rage pill...though, humorously enough, that whole cycle has gotten better since I started taking Lexapro. Hmmm...perhaps I did need a rage pill:)

most of my close friends are eccentric. I find stable people very boring. Most of them seem to be looking down there nose. I find eccentric people more real. I think its good not to be up your own ****. Wonder what they think about me, lol?!

most of my close friends are eccentric. I find stable people very boring. Most of them seem to be looking down there nose. I find eccentric people more real. I think its good not to be up your own ****. Wonder what they think about me, lol?!

Sharonomy, I am in complete agreement:jester: I like a lot of weirdness/eccentricity in a friend; those are the only friends worth bringing into our own weird little worlds. **** those people who put out a persona like they have it all together all of the time and never do anything remotely abnormal. The very thought of a 'normal' human being is ridiculous!

:p I say, be happy with your weirdness! We're all freaks and geeks in one way or another, and I'm proud of it!

too true! I think if your stable in this crazy messed up world THEN you must be mad!

AMEN!
Ever met a "stable" artist? Didn't think so, eccentricity is what makes the world interesting!

Too true Shambles!

So here's the knew psychosematic bipolar symptom: My poor husband, A_ is in a depressive phase at the moment and he is sleeping a lot. This is typical behavior for him: when he is feeling down, he sleeps a lot until he levels out or starts cycling up. Guess who else in sleeping 10 to 12 hours a night? I am so freaking tired that I can barely keep my eyes open:yawn: And I am at work. Getting caught napping at my cubicle would be bad. Besides coffee and energy drinks, any suggestions?

Thanks!

Artemis:yawn:

You poor thing! Do you keep his crazy, up all night schedule when he's manic also? Maybe you're finally letting your guard down a little and your body is using this time to recoup too? A couple weeks of mania-nights takes a lot out of a person, even if you're not the one "suffering" you're probably still not getting a good solid night sleep. I would suggest making sure you're eating a healthy balanced diet, if you feel that you need to sleep 10 - 12hrs a night go to sleep EARLY so that you'll be refreshed in the morning. Can't think of anything else....

Thanks for the good advice Shambles. It makes a lot of sense. As for broken sleep...

Last night, he and I got snappy with each other in front of a couple of friends who had come for dinner. I tried to reign myself in, but I could tell our friends were uncomfortable and they left fairly early. Afterwards, I went to sleep. A_ woke me up repeatedly talking at me, sometimes he sounded angry, at other moments he was in tears. He asked me which I would rather do: get a divorce or have him kill himself:eek: There is no sane answer to a question like that, and I was half asleep. When I left for work this morning, he had fallen asleep over a book that was recently published and an early draft of which I had edited for the author (the writer knows my parents). A_ reading that particular book looked like he was reaching out to me, and there were no tears on his cheeks, so I took off his glasses, put the book on the table and slinked out of the house feeling guilty for leaving him alone just hours after he had threatened suicide.

I'm not tired today, Shambles, I'm weary.

-Artemis