I just wanna pull my hair out and scream soo bad right now. I have 2 little one who is 15 months apart, my oldest is 2 and my youngest is 10 1/2 months. Its like I have nooo patient at all!

I get sooo mad I will bite my bottom lip instead of yelling and it will bleed b/c i am soo angry and the thing is I dont know why! I love my kids to death and dont want them to see my angry all the time.....

maybe b/c im home 24/7 cuz I reallly dont trust daycare ( had bad experiance) and my husband is at work all day and he comes home messing with my oldest and makes her soo mad by tickling her and i just lost it last night. I started screaming at all at the top of my lungs how he doesnt understand i dont want to her her scream so stop.. and he kept doing it... so i was calling him all these names. Which we've been together for 5 years.. since i was 15.. married for 2 years. I love him to death.

It doesnt make anything's better knowing I have bi-polar....
can anyone give me advice on learning how to control this so I dont feel so hateful tward everyone.. mostly tward myself.. i do hate myself for people this way....

sorry im not trying complain or nothin, i just need to talk to someone who has similiar problems and how you deal with them?
thank you soo soo much

Are you on meds, honey? I feel so bad for you.

Well, the good news is that you know this is not normal and that we don't want to live this way (a lot of people don't).

It sounds like you need some support...Do you have family other than your husband? Maybe talking about the situation with them and spending more time away from home would help?

Also, what about starting a mother's group in your neighborhood, so you're not alone with the kids so much and you can enjoy some time with friends? The kids will definitely benefit from being around other kids.

Exercise is a great stress reliever as well. Do you take time for yourself during the day to get out for walks? What about yoga? It's a great stress reliever and they have tapes if you can't make it to a gym.

Finally, you may benefit from talking to someone professional about the situation....Do you have a health center or hospital close by?

Best of luck to you and your family...You're on the right track...keep going!
:)

go on lexapro if it doesnt conflict with bi polar.

I was where you are in some respects but honestly I thought this sounded like what my wife would post no bipolar though. she went into another room and screamed into a pillow. ours are 15 monts apart too. we both went on lex to deal with the frustration you are now dealing with. I havent the patience she does so after being on it for around two years she got off and uses her way of thinking from that time to decidehow to react.
me how ever I still get frustrated and work really hard at it( not getting angry)
therapy, emotions anonymous, lexapro, meditation, yoga,self introspection, its the frustration that is the hardest I think. it does get better.
find a friend with kids that you can arrange play dates you wont be free of them but the change up helps
keep in mind also your husband is at work all day missing you guys and wants to enjoy the fun of fatherhood. I get on my wifes nerves to that way

Youngmother, I assume you are getting good treatment for your Bipolar and are taking your medications? Being a new mother period is hard! What a shock it is to suddenly lose all of your freedom. You can't even sleep when you want to and when you are tired you still have to get up and take care of your children! It is the hardest job ever! Your children are close together too so this makes it even harder. I agree with you, your husband should not be tickling your daughter if she isn't enjoying it anymore. What is the point of tickling - FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF THE CHILD! He is not respecting her boundaries. You are a good mom for recognizing this.

When I was a new mom I joined the MOMS CLUB. It was a lifesaver! There are weekly outings for the moms and children. It gave me a badly needed social outlet, helped my kids to socialize, and I learned so much about parenting from these other women. Keep posting here too with your daily challenges. You might feel better just venting and also the socialization with us.

Are you having any specific challenges with your children? What made my parenting easier is that I child proofed the entire house (locks for cupboards, cleared knick-knacks, etc.). There was nothing that they could get into anywhere in the house so I could let them roam freely and not have to keep an eye on them all of the time. Remember to enjoy their childhoods. Lighten up, don't expect them to act like adults. My children taught me tons of patience!

we only have one car and my husband is at work all day..
we are going through marriage problems also and he doesnt like to hang out with my friends because he is afraid im goign to get ito bad things like i used to... so im home all day everyday.. and i feel like im going to explode! I mean i love him very much and do everything to make him happy.. but im not happy, does that make sense?
I havent tried lexapro. Tried other though and it didnt work.
No im not on medicine when i should be, but my husband said we dont have money for that now

thanks for the replies, sorry it took me so long to reply back

we only have one car and my husband is at work all day..
we are going through marriage problems also and he doesnt like to hang out with my friends because he is afraid im goign to get ito bad things like i used to... so im home all day everyday.. and i feel like im going to explode! I mean i love him very much and do everything to make him happy.. but im not happy, does that make sense?
I havent tried lexapro. Tried other though and it didnt work.
No im not on medicine when i should be, but my husband said we dont have money for that now

thanks for the replies, sorry it took me so long to reply back

we are going through marriage problems

Ok, now that's a stress promoter.

he doesnt like to hang out with my friends because he is afraid im goign to get ito bad things like i used to

Sounds like the husband doesn't trust you, Lil momma.
Why did he marry if he doesn't have trust in the lady he married? Maybe something's up with. ;)

Anyway, you DO have to have an outlet, Momma. You can't stay cooped up in a house, only to take care of your spouse and kids needs. :nono: You also have to have some time to yourself as well. That's why you feel the way you do.

Meds are ok, but you still need to work off that stress and blowing up and calling your husband all those names isn't good... it's destructive. You've got to do some constructive things to burn that frustration off.
Exercise is a great way. :bouncing: You'll feel better and you'll let off a lot of steam. :)

we are going through marriage problems

Ok, now that's a stress promoter.

he doesnt like to hang out with my friends because he is afraid im goign to get ito bad things like i used to

Sounds like the husband doesn't trust you, Lil momma.
Why did he marry if he doesn't have trust in the lady he married? Maybe something's up with. ;)

Anyway, you DO have to have an outlet, Momma. You can't stay cooped up in a house, only to take care of your spouse and kids needs. :nono: You also have to have some time to yourself as well. That's why you feel the way you do.

Meds are ok, but you still need to work off that stress and blowing up and calling your husband all those names isn't good... it's destructive. You've got to do some constructive things to burn that frustration off.
Exercise is a great way. :bouncing: You'll feel better and you'll let off a lot of steam. :)

Yeah, he has good reason to. I got messed up in drugs and this guy, i didnt cheat though but i lied to him for 6 months straight. So he has good reason too but he doesnt have to remind me of what i did, everyday right? or does he? :confused:

Yeah, he has good reason to. I got messed up in drugs and this guy, i didnt cheat though but i lied to him for 6 months straight. So he has good reason too but he doesnt have to remind me of what i did, everyday right? or does he? :confused:

I got messed up in drugs and this guy, i didnt cheat though but i lied to him for 6 months straight.
Oh, I see.

but he doesnt have to remind me of what i did, everyday right? or does he?

No, he should NOT remind you of what you did everyday. But it sounds like he has NOT forgiven you for it and he WON'T forget it, either. So, as "punishment" for your "wrongful" behavior, he won't let you out of his sight.

You know better than most what you did, but no, you don't need to be reminded of it everyday. I'm sure he's made mistakes in his life, too--so who's reminding him of what he did ???

I just wanna pull my hair out and scream soo bad right now. I have 2 little one who is 15 months apart, my oldest is 2 and my youngest is 10 1/2 months. Its like I have nooo patient at all!

I get sooo mad I will bite my bottom lip instead of yelling and it will bleed b/c i am soo angry and the thing is I dont know why! I love my kids to death and dont want them to see my angry all the time.....

maybe b/c im home 24/7 cuz I reallly dont trust daycare ( had bad experiance) and my husband is at work all day and he comes home messing with my oldest and makes her soo mad by tickling her and i just lost it last night. I started screaming at all at the top of my lungs how he doesnt understand i dont want to her her scream so stop.. and he kept doing it... so i was calling him all these names. Which we've been together for 5 years.. since i was 15.. married for 2 years. I love him to death.

It doesnt make anything's better knowing I have bi-polar....
can anyone give me advice on learning how to control this so I dont feel so hateful tward everyone.. mostly tward myself.. i do hate myself for people this way....

sorry im not trying complain or nothin, i just need to talk to someone who has similiar problems and how you deal with them?
thank you soo soo much

Taking care of young children can be totally overwhelming. The young kids are just doing what children normally do. It sounds to me like you need a break. Do you have family members or friends who can come and visit with you? How about neighbors who can visit? All day cares are not bad. Maybe you could investigate some and find someone who could take your kids for a few hours a weeks so you can go out an socialize. Living with kids 23/7 can be taxing. I hope you can find someone who will give you a few hours a week break so you can go shoping or your local coffee house for that delicious mug. Call everyone you know and trust. Pay respected people to watch the kids. Good luck.

I was in a very similar situation. I'm 22 and I have a 2 and a 4 year old. When my husband and I were dating and awhile after we got married, we fought ALOT. I'm happy to say, it does get better. How long ago did you quit the drugs and stop seeing the guy? Is the guy still any part of your life? He shouldn't be reminding you of it all the time, but I think it's a man's way of dealing with emotional pain. He gets mad instead of telling you how he's feeling. He probably is mad, though. If the guy is still any part of your life, you need to cut him out of it. No ifs ands or buts. It takes a long time to earn someone's trust after you hurt them. Especially when they are close to you. Think about it this way, he has alot invested in your relationship-you, the kids, all the financial stuff, etc. He's afraid that if he trusts you, he will get hurt again. I know it's hard, but because you made mistakes, you're going to have to lie in the bed you made for awhile. As for the anger, try not to take everything so seriously. I used to do that too.

I was in a very similar situation. I'm 22 and I have a 2 and a 4 year old. When my husband and I were dating and awhile after we got married, we fought ALOT. I'm happy to say, it does get better. How long ago did you quit the drugs and stop seeing the guy? Is the guy still any part of your life? He shouldn't be reminding you of it all the time, but I think it's a man's way of dealing with emotional pain. He gets mad instead of telling you how he's feeling. He probably is mad, though. If the guy is still any part of your life, you need to cut him out of it. No ifs ands or buts. It takes a long time to earn someone's trust after you hurt them. Especially when they are close to you. Think about it this way, he has alot invested in your relationship-you, the kids, all the financial stuff, etc. He's afraid that if he trusts you, he will get hurt again. I know it's hard, but because you made mistakes, you're going to have to lie in the bed you made for awhile. As for the anger, try not to take everything so seriously. I used to do that too.

Lil Momma,
I hope you're paying attention to FZMae, b/c this makes more than a lot of sense.

She's right on the money ;)

Were you "emotionally" cheating w/this guy? :dizzy: If so, you need to cut him out of your life.

hmm wow my heart goes out to you, your kids and your husband.
you will have take everything and figure out how to tackle each problem a nibble at a time dont take on all the problems at once its to overwhelming turn it all into small little steps to take one at a time and one major step is finding a source for meds. this can take the pressure of your mental health out of the picture. you do need to find a way to get out and get excercise it helps really.
there are govt. programs that could help for some things like helping with meds. etc..
you have a lot on your plate I wish you luck.
It does get better!!
we are on year 7 of our choice to have kids. and my wife is about to graduate as an rn. so at first it was hard but it got better then easier and soon fun and now its all full of hope in the coming years.
we tackled it as it came and my wife was a real saint. I have back problems and frustration issues so we saw it as the wise choice to have her take care of the kids and I would do what I do which is overcome obsticles in my way. it is stressfull being financially responsible for 4 but and beleive me your husband is carrying a lot on his shoulders too. I imagine alot due to not being able to choose meds due to cost. you may qualify for your states med coverage for those that cant afford it. in az its acchs your state will have an equivelent or more likely a better system
there is help out there churches charities govt agencies.
we got an hour a day "playgroup" through AZIP that helped with speech at 2yrs but it was helpfull to get out and socialize for the wife too.
ask lots of questions some will get results.

it sounds to me like you need to get out of the house bigtime! Fresh air does wonders and will help break up the day more. Do you have a support circle of other mothers or a close friend or Grandma to help babysit now and then so you can take some well needed time for yourself? Are you religious at all. The power of prayer and if you read the bible especially psalms or proverbs does wonders. take care, happy camper