Did you have your u/s done ? Did you get to hear the heartbeat? I am so excited for you.......
Praying that all will go on smoothly at your appt.
Please keep us posted,

Amy

Hi Carisa Mommy
How are you ? I know today is your first u/s appoint to meet your little angel (s) :D
Wishing you good luck and happy healthy months ahead.

Golds

Carisa that is wonderful today is ur u/s.I cant imagine how excited u are.Please keep us posted.

Mapia

Hi Carisa!!!

Wow your u/s today how exciting!!!! I hope all goes well and that you and babie(s) have a happy and healthy 9 months!!! This has to feel like the best of days!!! :) Let us know how it goes!!

kathy

Hi Carisa, thinking of you today as you get to see your little one(s) for the first time! :) Please share a few of the precious details with us when you get a chance...

Holly

You ladies are so sweet! Well, I hate to say it, but, the worrying does NOT stop at the bfp!! LOL!:dizzy: I have been up since 3am worrying thinking that there will be no hearbeat! I just haven't been "feeling" pregnant, whatever that is!! I've got my panties in a bunch over here....... It just feels like I've worked so hard for my first pregnancy, and I feel like it's too good to be true. I know you ladies will appreciated that one. My boobs have never gotten sore, I am seven weeks today, that is the main reason I am a total wreck today. My DH thinks I'm crazy!! I will certainly post as soon as I get home today from my scan. My scan is at 2pm, it's only 8am right now. I have a way to go.

You guys are so sweet. I will let you all know either way!! :D

Carisa

:wave: Oh Carisa!! We understand. I am sure I would have been up worrying too. I guess after wanting something so much and it finally coming true it is hard to believe. But your going to be a mommy :blob_fire !! Remember that not everyone has symptoms this early. Even still the symptoms for you may not be your boobs. My sister had no enlargment hardly at all, even at 3 months pregnant and she had no pain the first months either and she has a healthy baby boy. So everyone is different. I hope 2pm comes real soon for you!! Good luck today we are all praying for you :angel: !! I am sure it will be ok. Think positive thoughts and keep yourself busy until then!! ;)

kathy

Oh sweety I so know what you mean when you say the worrying doesnt stop at getting a bfp. I am still worrying about my issue with the second sac. My boobs were sore at first but not anymore, but I do have the morning sickness in full throttle (however ya spell it). I am praying for ya!

Carisa sweetie dont worry like the other girls said some women get no symptoms at all so consider urself lucky.My BF in both pregnancies was the same way she said other then the weight gain I would never know I am pregnant.So I know its hard not to worry after all we have been through.Just keep praying and god will look after u and the babies.Cant wait to hear ur u/s results I am sure it will be great.

Mapia

Hi Carisa! It's understandable why you would continue to worry. I fear that I will also be one to have no symptoms and as icky as they probably feel, I think it would be comforting to have the soreness and the morning sickness. But I have some very good friends who never had any symptoms at all until they could feel the baby kicking and they worried too.... and they never even had trouble conceiving! I think that when you have trouble even getting pregnant it will lend it's way to more worry throughout the pregnancy. You've worked so hard to get to where you are, and I think it is only natural to worry. I also think your little baby is doing just fine! I can't wait to hear all about the U/S!!!!!!!! Man do I hope this day flies by! Good luck sweetie and enjoy seeing that heartbeat for the first time!

Carisa,

I'm thinking of you today and wishing you wonderful news at your u/s!

Lori

Thank you ladies,
It does make me feel a bit better to hear of other women pregnant with little to no symptoms. I always appreciate hearing that. I still have a few hours before my appointment. I'll definitley post when I get home.

You guys are:angel: :angel:

Carisa

Yes Carisa even my SIL had no symptoms/sickness at all until 7 months except her tummy was growing rapidly :) we all have very different bodies so I guess try not to worry on this. You are a Mommy and in just another couple of hrs you get to see him or her.

Golds

Carisa - If old wives tales are true... you're having a boy! :) Supposedly boys carry less adverse pregnancy effects and it was true for me. I had very little symptoms of anything with my son. No nausea or breast swelling or anything that is typically considered a pregnancy symptom. Until I could feel him kicking, I was always thinking that some thing was wrong. I'm sure everything is fine! Good Luck today! :angel:

Any news yet????

Wow Ms Vik Astrologer....my SIL had a boy too last year in September and he just turned 7 months old on 4/29. Yes no symtoms for her either.

Carisa mommy, how did it go today ? did you cry?
Golds

Golds and Vik... I've heard the same thing from my sister and good friend who both had one of each. They were MUCH more symptomatic when they had their girls, esp when it came to nauseau (sp?)

Well Carisa we are anxiously awaiting the news of your first look!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Well, it wasn't good news. I already felt it deep down inside. So......ahhhh.....the story is.......I'm actually six and a half weeks along, but the embryo is measuring only six weeks and there is no heart beat. So either the little one died and stopped growing at six weeks, or it implanted late and is a little younger and the heartbeat will be seen next week, a week from today at my next ultrasound. My dr told me that most likely I will miscarry or need a D&C. I'm devestated because I feel like it's not going to be good. My dr told me not to be surprised if it just stopped growing, but we will know for sure next Tuesday. :mad: I'm soo mad! Why does this happen to people who have a really hard time getting pregnant?

Thanks for being so positve and kind to me, looks like I'll be joining in on the IVF excitement in the near future. I really want to go to Hawaii or something fun right now. Maybe I'll hit the hubby up tonight for that.

carisa

Hi Carisa
I'm sorry to hear about your u/s appoint today. I am in total shock do not know what to say except lets pray hard and wait for God's miracle to happen on Tuesday. Nobody has the power over God to give life to anyone. Don't give up sweetheart, hope things turn out better.

God bless you.
Golds

Carisa sweetie I am so sorry. I will join Golds in praying for a miracle for you.

Take care and look after yourself.

Ruby

Carisa, I'm so sorry sweetie. I am joining Golds & Ruby in praying for you and your little one. My heart goes out to you. I really hope you get much better news next week.

Holly

Oh Carisa, I am so extremely sorry hun... I wish there were words I could say to make you feel better but I know that there just aren't. It really just isn't fair... I'm with you on that. But miracles do happen and I am going to be praying very hard that a miracle is coming your way right now. I think Hawaii is a wonderful thought... def give DH a talk about that one. Hang in there and know that my thoughts are with you. (((hugs)))

Kari

So we've decided on Disneyland since it's only a six hr drive from here instead of a six hr plane ride.

Thank you guys for the prayers! They mean ALOT! Hopefully next week will bring better news and we won't be able to do Disneyland. :D

I'm feeling a bit better, I just had a feeling in my gut that something was wrong. Sometimes I just wonder what I have done to deserve this. My SIL, God bless her, but she has five children and got pregnant with each one VERY easily. It just makes me wonder what is wrong with me. :(

Well, thank you for the prayers, I need them.

Carisa:angel:

Carisa sweetie I am so sorry as soon as I saw ur post my stomach turned and I teared up.I agree with u how its not fair for any of us to go through this.Feels like we just cant catch a break.I know u were meant to be a mother and u will.Weather this pregnancy turns around or ur nest cycle.I will be praying this cycle turns around and turns out ur little angel did implant late.Well Disneyland sounds nice a vacation is just what u need.Well take care of urself sweetie and know u are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mapia

Oh Carisa I am so sorry (hugs). I too am praying for you. We are here for you.

Carisa sweetie, you did absolutely nothing wrong and you do not deserve this... so many of us have asked that question so many times and the answer is always the same. IF is one of those unfortunate conditions that for some unknown reason has been burdened upon us. But I do know that God will hear your prayers and you will have your miracle... I wish I could tell you for sure that it will be with this baby right now, but at the moment all I can do is pray for you and your little one. I know me and most of the other girls on the board really feel so close that we feel pain too when someone gets bad news. My heart breaks that you are going through this and I just cross my fingers for you that this turns around for you. If things don't turn out the way we all want next week I'm glad you and DH are heading to the magic kingdom... Disney is a fun wonderland and I hope it brings you some happiness. Take care.

Hi Carisa! I am very sorry to hear that your appointment didn't go well. Hang in there~there is still hope. I will be praying that they will find a strong heartbeat next week! And I understand where you're coming from with this IF stuff, it's not fair at all, but there is nothing wrong with you!

Kat

Oh hon! I know I'm new here but I want to share a story of hope. When I was pregnant with DD #2 (my clomid baby) they didn't find a heartbeat either. I was devestated. I burst out into tears as soon as the dr left the room to do something...

I went back a week later and my little bundle was moving and her heart was beating away... just like a choo choo train. Please have hope.

Either way, don't beat yourself up. I've been in both situations ( I just lost a baby in January). Keep your chin up girlie!

Hey Carisa, I am so sorry this is happening to you - life is so unfair, I hope so much that next week brings you a reprieve. I posted on the m/c board to you before I saw this, I presumed it was definite, but now that I know it is not I will be thinking about you and hoping you do get happy news.

take care of yourself - a break is a great idea xx

kel xx

Hi Carisa.

I know i am late getting on the boards - i just read your post - and i just feel so bad that you have to worry more. as if having IF wasn't hard enough. But i am going to think positive for you, that the baby implanted late and is just a little slower to get going. maybe baby's personality is going to be laid-back and this is an indication that he/she is in no hurry. so let's pray and believe and hope with everything we've got that next week you will be smiling from ear to ear and will be right back on track. remember we can't help having IF. we didn't ask for it, we don't deserve it, it's a fight we have to fight to get our own baby. i hope you can't go to Disney and ride the rides because you'll be too busy doing baby stuff!

eurokelly-
It's not a definite, but the nurse still told me I will most likely miscarry in the next week as she was looking at my results. The dr. had already gone, I don't think she realized the dr. gave me more hope. I just don't know what to think. I have lost hope. It's ok though, I know I won't die from this even though I feel like I may.:dizzy:

Carisa

hi carisa


im sooooooo Sorry to read this :-( i hope maybe they are wrong and youll find out everything is fine. but i really really am sorry for you. im keeping you in my thoughts... this must be terrible for you

Carisa, I'm so sorry! I know how devestating it is. I've been there, the nurse not saying anything but you know something is wrong. IF just isn't fair sometimes. It's so hard not to get angry and question why, but there really isn't an answer. Hopefully you'll go back next week and hear that little choo choo sound that the heart beat makes. Did they test your hcg level?

Sending you hugs :angel:

No, they said at this point the HCG level wouldn't tell us much. I just have to wait the loooong four days until my next ultrasound. I hate this feeling that I have. It's terrible. I don't even feel like my husband fully understands because he's not the one that is going through it. It's very hard. I feel very alone in this.

Carisa

Carisa I am so sorry u have to go through this after all u have gone through.I have been thinking about u all day.I am praying so hard for u girl.I am sorry Dh isent understanding u but no one can understand us only the women who have gone through it can truely understand.Thats why I feel so blessed I found these boards and I have some support.Just remember we are always here for u sweetie.

Mapia

Thanks Mapia:)

These boards ARE very nice for times like this. It's always nice to get advice on meds and stuff like that, but when something like this happens it's almost a necessity to belong to something like this. I know nobody who has gone through infertility and nobody who has had a problem with miscarriages. ALL the women in my family have loads of kids and they all had them in their 20s. I'm very close to my family but I feel like they will just never understand, it doesn't matter how close we are, they just don't understand the pain associated with this. With my husband, it's not that he's being rude, he's very caring, but I can just tell I'm taking this much harder because it is my body. I'm very scared to actually miscarry and just as scared to have a D&C. It sure will be nice when it is all over, that is if it has to be. I'm still holding on to a tiny string of hope.:dizzy:

Carisa

Hi Carisa :)

I understand what u are saying our family and friends try to be understanding but they just dont understand us 100%.My BF tells me I dont know what u are going through the only thing I can do as ur BF is just be here for u when u need me.I totally appreciate that cause she never once said to me I know how u feel.She has 1 toodler and is expecting her second so she cant understand me and never tries to act like she can.As for DH I understand mine is great but sometimes he just cant understand why I am so down.I really cant expect him to even though our issue is male IF.I am still the one being pumped with all these meds.Anyway like I say after we have our little angel everything will be fine.Keep ur head up sweetie wish I could give u a hug.I guess cyber hugs will have to do.Keep praying for ur little one.

Mapia:angel:

Carisa, I want you to know that I am saying lots of prayers for you. I understand your being scared of m/c and of a d&c... I really hope and pray that you don't have to deal with either. We are here for you whenever you need us. You are in my thoughts.

Carisa, I am so sorry. I'm saying lots of prayers for you and the little one and hanging on to hope that you won't have to deal with m/c and d&c. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. We are here to help you through this no matter what happens.

Lori

Carisa,

I just read your post and I can not tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through this. I had the chills all over just reading it. It is hard to undersand why we have to go through all of this when we alredy have been through so much. I am praying that things will look better on Tuesday and that this was just a little scare. This is the prayer for expectant mothers I am going to write one verse in the hopes that everyone on the board who chooses too will pray this prayer for you.... I will pray this each night for you!! St Gerard Prayer for expectant mothers: Persearve Carisa, all the other expectant mothers on the board, and our friends and family from excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which they now carry, that it may see the light of day and recieve the purifying waters of baptism
through Christ our Lord. Amen. Now I know we are not all of the same religion but you can change it to your beliefs. As a catholic I am supposed to recite 9 Hail Mary's after the prayer. I will do that each day for you Carisa!!! hang in there. I will be thinking of you.

May god bless you and this child you carry to be safe and well.

(((HUGS)))

kathy

Yes Carisa, I'm praying hard for you to Our Lady of Hope, Mother Mary and am very confident, she will do a miracle for you on Tuesday. Just don't give up sweety, consider yourself you are a mother and hold your baby tight. I will also be saying 9 Hail Mary's for you everyday until your u/s on Tuesday.

I still feel very strongly that your baby is safe n sound.
Lots of love
golds

Carisa

You and your little one are in my thoughts and prayers


AMy

You guys are so sweet. Kathy, that is a great prayer. Kind of sums it all up! I'm feeling a bit better today. Not sure why, I guess I have just accepted that whatever will happen, will be. It's very hard. I'm praying for great news on Monday. OH, I changed the ultrasound to Monday. I felt like Tuesday was so far away. LOL! You know how it is waiting around, pure torture!! Well, I'm so grateful I have you guys who understand what this is like. It means a lot to me.

Carisa

Carisa sweetie u know we will always be here for eachother.I dont blame u for changing ur appt I cant imagine how hard this must be. I remember with my chemical I had to wait all those days to take another Beta and I thought I was going to die waiting.Anyway sweetie I admire ur strength.U and baby are in my prayers.

Mapia

Hi Carisa,

I am so glad to hear from you. You sound ok right now and it really make me feel better to hear it from your post. I wish you did not have to wait all that time I recall how awful it was and I don't wish it on anyone. I had to wait 10 days it was absolutley terrible to have to wait that long when I miscarried. I am really hoping that all the wait will be the only bad part of this whole experience you will have to endure and that, the heart beat is pumping. Do you know if they saw a fetal pole??

Anyway I said my prayers for you today and I promise to continue until Monday and thereafter!!

BTW I am really not a religious freak or anything but I do believe in god and the saint and its what gives me strength during these real hard times.

kathy

Kathy-
LOL!! Yeah right, I'm sure you're a fanatic.
Don't worry, I hear you loud and clear, I'm not a crazy fanatic either, though I am a Christian, and I do pray a lot. It really helps me, and most of the time, I feel He hears me.

As far as the fetal pole. I'm not sure. I was so upset in the office. All reason left me, I was speachless. I know my dr measured something. Whatever it was she measured, was measuring a few days small. Because I've never been pregnant before, I really wasn't too familiar with terms and stuff. Do you think it was the fetal pole? I'm not sure what else it would be. She wasn't measuring the sac, I know that. LOL! I sound silly I know, I just don't know what exactly went on in that room. It's all a fuzzy mess. :dizzy:

I'm just really hoping on some good news. I do still have my morning sickness. I hope it's not there for nothing. :mad:

Carisa

Carisa, I don't think you sound silly at all. If I had been hearing the news you got, I would've been in a daze as well. I just wanted you to know I'm also thinking of you and your little one and praying that everything will be okay. Hopefully the morning sickness is a good sign. :)

Holly

Hi Carisa,

Thanks your too funny and it is good you still have your sense of humor through this rough time. The fetal pole is what the fetus actually looks like its really small with a little tail but you, yourself may not be able to make it out but the MD can. It sounds like that is waht was being measured to me , but I can't say for sure. If it was it's a good sign. I did not have a fetal pole, hence no heartbeat. But I know they did not measure anything on me, just the sac was there but not fetal pole. So if you did not hear those words I am sure it is not a problem so I am really getting hopeful for you. Maybe your little bub just needs a little more time. Your bub is syaing hey just give me a little time I like to take my time. Still praying for you my girl. You really are a pillar of strength!!! We are here for you no matter what so just lean on us whatever you need. Whether to vent, past the time, scream, cry, shout, punch Mapia (LOL!) anything to keep you busy until Monday.

kathy

Hi Carisa. It's good to see that you're spirits are raised a little. Hang in there! Hopefully your little guy just took a little longer to get snuggled in. :angel:

Ok Carisa I will be willing to take one from u.Whatever we have to do to make u smile:) But just so Deluka knows as soon as u punch me I will turn around and punch her:D It will be like the 3 stouges remember them 1 would hit the other.........LOL.Well sweetie hope we made u smile just a little.:)

Mapia

Carisa, I know sometimes we fail to understand these medical terms so we end up cooking our own stories that makes us think all negative.
I'm sure you will have a great news on Monday. Just keep your faith in God you know he loves you.
Praying for you.:angel:
Golds

Hi Carisa,

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you today and will keep you in my prayers. I have a busy weekend planned so I may not be on the boards much but I will def still be praying for you!!! Just a little while longer to go.

Kathy

TO EVERYONE ON THIS THREAD-PLEASE READ!!!!!!

Go to the pregnancy board, I know that sounds horrible right now, but you have to lend your support to CMARIE. I won't even go into what is going on, you have to read it yourself. I just think she needs lots of support. I really feel for her right now......

Go to the thread that is labeled somthing like, "pregant with twins" or "twins anyone??" Find her last post, I think on page 9 or 10.

Carisa

Carisa sweetie that is so thoughtful of u but Cmarie has a thread on this board as well and everyone has been there giving her support.:)

Mapia

I am so blind. I looked on this board to see if I could see a post about it, and I looked right over it I guess. :dizzy: Thank you for informing me.:yawn:

Carisa

Carisa

Just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world for your appt on MONday Praying hard that everything will be ok with your little one.

Amy

Carisa, I am praying so hard for you hun. I hope the u/s goes extremely well tomorrow. I will be thinking about you and your little one all day. Please let us know how you both are doing when you can.

Hi Carisa, I too am thinking of you. Hope you get the best news today and they hear your little one's heartbeat just chugging along. Praying for you sweetie!!

Holly

Hi Carisa wanted u to know u and baby are in my thoughts and prayers.I really hope all is well at ur u/s today.Please keep us posted.

Mapia

Hi Carisa,

I was not on the board all weekend but I was constantly thinking and praying for you and Cmarie every day. I really hope all goes well today and you get the good news we all want to here for you and baby. Lot's of luck today sweetie. We are here for you!!!

((HUGS))

kathy

Thanks, I'm a nervous wreck over here today. My appointment is at 2:30pm. I'm sort of dreading it as I really have no pregnancy symptoms anymore. I don't know if that is my mind playing tricks on me or not. I will definitely keep you guys posted after that fact, whether it went well or not. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers. They are important to me. :angel: I will be so relieved if I get good news. Please God!!!!!!!

Carisa

Hi Carisa I can only imagine how u are feeling right now.We are all praying hard for u and we will be right here to pass ur time today.

Mapia

Carisa my girl, you will be able to see that little flickering on the monitor and the heartbeat sound will reach to your ears for sure today. We are praying for you and the babie.

Golds

Hi Carisa,
I am thinking about you today and praying that you will see a strong little flicker on your ultrasound today. Be strong friend:angel:
Love,
cmarie

goodluck carisa!!!!!! i guess 230 your time is 530 ny time so i will look for your post tonight. im crossing my fingers!

Wow, I completely missed the time difference. :dizzy: :rolleyes: Here I thought you were almost ready to go to your appt.

I will be sure to check in on you tonight!!! Keeping everything crossed & saying lots of prayers. :)

Holly

Carisa,

Thinking of you today and praying you get some good news. Hang in there my friend, you are so strong!

Lori

Carisa

Thinking and praying for you today. Really hope that you ll get to see your little one s heart beat.Today it s a tension board here. .. it s 7 pm here ....really hope to hear some good news before i sleep tonight.

AMy

Carisa, hoping that you are seeing that little pulsing right now!! I'm thinking of you and hoping everything is perfect!

Carisa - I hope I am not too late to wish you good luck at your appt. I have prayed every night that today would bring you good news. You are in my thoughts.

Carisa, still praying hard for you hun. Really hoping that all is going very well.

Praying for you girl! Keep us posted!

Laurie

Thank you ladies for all of your great support. It really helps in times like this. Unfortunately today did not go well. My little one stopped growing at 5 wks and 6 days. I would be 7 1/2 weeks today, so there really is no hope. My little one measured the same today as he did last week at this time. I am looking at a possible D&C this Friday. Looks like I will be back to doing IVF sometime this summer. Things just don't work out sometimes. It seems really cruel. I'm just ready to end things so I can move on and look forward to my next IVF cycle. In a couple of weeks my husband and I are going to Disneyland and Vegas to get our minds cleared and excited about our next cycle.

Carisa

Oh Carisa, my heart breaks for you. I know my heartache must be nothing compared to yours. I really will be thinking of you and your DH. Lots of love and (((hugs)))

Kari

Oh Carisa, I am so so sorry. This has really been a rotten day on the boards. I don't understand why so many people have to experience so much heartache. I was really hoping for better results for you. I will definitely have you in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on the D&C.

Holly

Carisa~

I am so sorry...my heart breaks for you. I know nothing can make you feel any better, just know that we are here for you whenever you need us. Enjoy that vacation...it is well deserved!

Take care of yourself, and keep us posted. You will be in my prayers!

Laurie

Carisa I am so sorry sweetie I prayed and prayed for ur little one.I just dont know what to say anymore.It will happen for u just keep that in mind.Take ur vacation relax and come back ready to fight again.I will keep ur little one in my prayers.Take care sweetie and know we are here for u.

(((HUGS)))

Mapia

CArisa

I am so sorry.....i don t seem to have the right words. Just wanted to let you know that you can count on my prayers.
Things are so unfair eh......
Give your self as much time as you need to grief......enjoy your holiday ....hold on to DH ......and start thinking about your next iVF.
Just don t give up.

(((hugs)))

Carisa, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and DH. None of this is fair. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on how you are doing when you feel up to it.

Lori

Carisa - I posted to your other post first but i wanted to say here that i know nothing right now can make you feel better. just know we are all here for you. and we will be here this summer when you try IVF again. i hope you and DH can use your vacation to relax and refresh and enjoy each other.

Oh Carisa,

I was hoping so much to get on today and here good news from you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I had prayed and prayed for you every day. It really has been a bad start off week on the board. Miscarriage is so painful to go through especially when we are trying so hard to have a baby. I will pray that my two angel babies will be looking out for yours. You are so strong youe post sounded so strong to me, just know we are here for you. If you have any questions about the DNC let me know I would be glad to explain anything. Thinking of you sweetie.

I am so glad you have a vacation coming up to help you get your mind off this a bit and hopefully relax some too.

((HUGS))

Hi Carisa

I was really hoping for some good news. I am so sorry. To have to go through IVF and then have this happen is truly horrible. I am thankful you have sucha great DH and hope that the future only holds good for you. You deserve the best!

again, so sorry...
aymie

I am so sorry Carisa..I just fail to understand God's theory here, what is he trying to teach us?
Taking a break would be a good idea as thats what I plan to do too.
Take care
Golds

Yes Kathy, I do feel stronger now than I did last week. At my ultrasound last week I just felt it was over. I knew that my pregnancy symptoms stopped right around six weeks, and that was what my little one was measuring. It just made sense to me. I think a woman can feel or sense something is wrong. I know I did. I guess I did most of my complaining and crying last week. I did LOTS.:D I'm just ready to move forward with the D&C. I can't really move on until that is over. I have an appointment today to possibly schedule one for Friday. I'm trying to decide between two places, one being my fertility clinic, the other being my OB office. Depends on which place my insurance will cover more of, and what kind of anesthesia is used. I don't want general with the tube down the throat. No thanks. I had that with my lap and woke up very sick. My fertilitly clinic uses the same anesthesia that they did with my egg retrieval. So I'm hoping my insurance covers most of the cost there. I REALLY want to do it there. Hopefully I could get that all sorted out today. OK, I've been rambling here.......

I'm just ready to move on and look forward to my next cycle. I'm tired of worrying and being stressed. Now I have my answer. That really helps with my emotional well being.

Carisa

Carisa, Your strength amazes me. You are going through this with such a graceful attitude. I know good news has to be out there for you not too far away. Keeping you in my prayers.

Lori

Carisa, Sweetie....I really hate that your going through this. When I had my DNC they did not do the tube down the throat either I have had that done for something else and it is awful. Mine was done at the hospital. I did not want to tell you this before but I also had the same thing happen to me.... about having this feeling that you lost the baby. One morning before I even had my 1st u/s I stood up in the bed and said to DH OMG I lost the baby. He said your acting crazy stop thinking that way. Ofcourse I kept testing and it was always postive. No bleeding nothing to really warn me but the feeling I had. I never lost my symptoms my boobs were very sore and heavy the whole time. Even until the day after DNC. But it's weird how we just know. Maybe it helps us mentally prepare. I handeled it all ok the first week or so, I think I was in shock but then it got harder for a bit. But it does pass and the pain subsides, even now more than a year later for me. It is much easier. You are really strong, much stronger than I was. Just know we are thinking of you and wishing so much that you get to start IVF again soon and that next time it will give you a nice an healthy BFP!!!!

Remember we are here!!

kathy

Kathy-I was such a wreck the whole week that now I am starting to heal. I was a walking zombie all week. People would call me wanting to tell me about Dancing With the Stars or something totally insignificant and I would just zone out. Not just zone out, but I get angry that people are calling me talking about such things when I have more important things going on. I don't know if that's mean or not, but I have been pretty angry all week. That is starting to subside. I've been doing that since about the day before my first ultrasound last week. I just knew. It's such a sick terrible feeling. One that I don't wish upon anyone. My husband thought I was being ridiculous too! I was hoping that I was also, but I guess it didn't turn out that way. I just scheduled it with my RE at my IF clinic for this Thursday at 10am. They are not doing the general with the tube down the throat. They are using the same stuff they used for my egg retrieval. So I feel better about that!!

Carisa

Carisa u have every right to be mad at the world.People who love u will understand and deal with it.I pray for ur little angel.I am so sorry u have to go through this.Take care sweetie.

Mapia

yeah Carisa... you let it all out. I was really angry too. I felt the sme way I didn't ant anyone to talk to me about frivolous things. I just stopped talking to friends for awhile. You can't help it, it's hard. I am glad that at least you don't have to do the tube thing. The DNC really is not the worst part I think what you are feeling now is so if there is any consilation to have now that the physical part will heal pretty quick.

kathy

That's a huge consolation. As if this emotional part isn't bad enough. I guess I have one more question. Can't remember if this has already been talked about but, how long is the procedure? I'm hoping no more than 15-20 min?

Carisa, I think getting angry is part of the healing process. People mean well, but can be really insensitive - if you snapped at them, they'll get over it. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. I hope your appointment goes smoothly. Enjoy your getaway with your DH to Disneyland. It's good to get away and start fresh. Hugs.

Oh Carisa I am so sorry. This is just so devastating after everything you have gone through. It is so unfair!!!! You are such an amazing woman and already are so optimistic and looking towards your next IVF cycle, you are a real inspiration. Please know that I will be praying for you and your next cycle. All my love,
cmarie

Hi Carisa,

How are you holding up today sweetie. I know tomorrow is the day and I am sure you have so many mixed feelings about it all. To answer your question I don't recall it taking more than 30 minutes but you will probably be there 2-3 hours between waiting time/procedure/ and discharge. Then they should d/c you with an Rx for pain meds and you want to get those on your way home. Is anyone besides DH going with you?? My parents flew here to be with us at that time b/c we had just moved her 2 months before and knew no-one here. It really helped to have my mom close to me during that time. I really needed her. DH was grieving too so it was very hard. But everyone is different. I wish so much I could be there in person for you and just give you a big hug and another shoulder to cry on. I will be thinking a lot about you all day and especially tomorrow. We are here for you. This part is almost over and then you can start moving forward on to your plans to get started with IVF again in no time. Has RE advised how long he wants you to wait to try again? Not sure if your ready to talk about that yet so you don't have to answer. Just wanted to give you something to look forward to.

luv,

Kathy

Tomorrow is the big day and I think today I will be walking around in a daze. I just think it's so unfair. My RE told me we could start the injections for our next ivf cycle at my 2nd period from the D&C. That may be too early for me, I'm not sure. I couldn't handle another situation like this so soon. I really want to start another IVF cycle if I knew it would work, but another devestation right now would be too much. I'm wondering if in a month I will suddenly feel ready. Who knows. We may try on our own for about five months or so and then do another IVF cycle in the fall.

I'm just so nervous about tomorrow. I have been feeling really nauseas for the last few weeks. The nurse says that happens sometimes, and it will stop soon after the D&C. I'm not sure if it is the pregnancy hormones or me being nervous. They told me they would give me zofran in my iv tomorrow as soon as they can. I just don't want to be sick from the anesthesia. I wasn't after my egg retrieval and they are using the same stuff. I'm hoping that's means I will probably be fine. :dizzy: I just want this all to be over!!!!!

Carisa

Oh Carisa, I wish there were words I could say to make this all go away. My heart really goes out to you. It's such an unfair situation. Please know that you will be okay tomorrow. The emotional part really is the worst part of it. Your anxiety is completely normal, but I assure you all will be fine. I won't be online tomorrow, but my thoughts and prayers will be with you as you go through this very difficult time. HUGS

Holly

Carisa I am so sorry I cant imagine what u are going through.I understand how u want to take a break.It might be just what u need though and who knows what will happen trying naturally.God works in amazing way sometimes.I will pray for u and that all goes well tomorrow I am sure it will.Its just the emotional part that is hard.Take care of urself sweetie.

Mapia

Hi Carisa,

I know your nervous and I wish so much all this was not happening to you. All I can do is try to comfort you with my experience, I had no nausea from the anesthesia and minimal pain. Just make sure you take pain meds with food so you don't get sick. The last thing I remember prior to the procedure was the needle being put in...next thing I knew I was in the recovery area. This part really was the easiest part for me. So really try not to worry. Your going to be ok.

As for starting after 2 AF's or TTC on your own you have time to sort that our. Right now it may be hard for you to make a clear and consise decision on that. Either way we are here for you.

((HUGS)))

kathy

Oh Carisa, hun I am so sorry for what you are going through and I will be praying that you do okay tomorrow. It's a terrible thing to lose a baby and it is something that nobody should have to experience. I recall when I went in for my laparotomy and D&C to term my ectopic I was practically hysterical in the surgery prep room... I thought I hated every person who touched me in there, but really I just didn't want to accept the reality of it and the procedure is very difficult emotionally. I'm glad they are able to use the same med that you've had before with the ER. The procedure itself really should not take that long. Like others have said, the hard part is the emotional recovery. Anger is a part of that and so is the tears. Only you and DH know what's right for your future family and you take as much time as you need until you feel strong enough to try again. My thoughts and my prayers will be with you tonight and tomorrow. (((hugs)))

Carisa, just wanted to log on really quickly and tell you I am thinking of you sweetie. You and your little angel will be in my prayers today.

Holly

Thank you guys,
My D&C went well. Had it done this morning. I'm not in too much pain either at the moment, just have some major soreness down there. Took some advil, hoping that helps. Well, I can now close this chapter of my life. Thanks again for the support.


Carisa

Hi Carisa,

I was so glad to see your post and that you had no major pain. It is a difficult time right now and I just want you to know that I am thinking of you.

((HUGS))

kathy

Carisa,

OMG, im still not up to scratch with keeping on top of the posts and have had no net at home so this is me just finding out about your m/c today.
Im so sorry and angry for you at the same time bad things allways happen to good people why is that? i thought b/c a hadnt seen anything everything was fine i couldn have been more wrong.
Well ive read all your posts since and have to say im amazed by your courage!
I have allways said id rather never be pg than to loose a baby and im sticking to that.
Im glad your proceedure went with no complications or pain(why should you suffer anymore than you have?) and its great to hear your having a holiday to get your mind and body ready for the next one. Dont they say when you have been pg you are extra fertile straight after and pg should be easier?

I spoke to a woman at work and she said that she did accupuncture and that her second time was a success-she swaers by it says it prepares your mind and body for a healthy preganancy, im going to try that next cycle its something to consider.

Im not religious by any stretch of the imagination but in my own way i will pray your heart will stop husrting so much and you finally get what you deserve after all you've worked hard enough to get it.

x

Thanks Jam,

I actually was doing acupuncture through my ivf cycle. Not sure if it helped or not. A little confused. Maybe it did help me concieve, but didn't help me keep my baby. I will do it again in my next cycle. It's just so darn expensive to do when you are already paying for ivf. When will this end. The emotions spent ttc is horrendous enough, and then to pay so much money. Should be mandatory that insurance covers such things. Sorry, I went off on a rampage there.......

Carisa