I am sorry I haven't posted in a long time, I promised I would keep up with everyone and I have not kept up to my promise...I don't even know where to start....I am still on bedrest because I am bleeding internally in my uterus and we can't get it to stop. At my last ultrasound (8 weeks) my RE saw something in the one babies sac. He said he couldn't be sure what it was because the baby is still so little. He thought it would either be a blood clot that would just reabsorb or possibly the babies intestines/stomach did not get enclosed while the body was forming and the baby would have to have surgery when it was born. So needless to say, I was devastated. The good thing was was that both babies were growing and their heartbeats were 167 and 164. So he told me to see my ob and make an appointment with a high risk doctor.

When I called my doctor(ob/gyn) they said that at 9 weeks they could do a really thorough ultrasound and we would most likely be able to see what was going on in the sac. I went on Tuesday for the ultrasound with my DH. It was the absolute worst day of my life, I could have never prepared myself for what they were about to tell me or what I was about to see on that stupid ultrasound machine....the baby (baby B) is a CONJOINED TWIN!!!!! It would have been two identical babies and then I would have had a singleton as well, TRIPLETS!!!! The split happened too late and the babies are connected. They are sharing one body, and heart and all that but they have two little heads. I saw two sets of eyes on the ultrasound machine, I absolutely could die. I have never in all my life been so devastated. The doctors were absolutely in awe. They didn't even have words for us. My RE said in all the years he has been practicing, this has only happened to one other couple. Why would this happen?????

I just laid in the ultrasound room with my husband for about 25 minutes and just wailed and wailed. Then we had to have a consult with the doctor. She just sat silently and let me cry for another 10 minutes. She hugged me and told me how sorry she was. She said we have to pray that the baby's heart stops on its own and that nature will take its course. If not, we have to wait until the second trimester and go to a specialist that would inject the baby's heart with medicine to make it stop....I don't know how I would ever have the strength to do that to my baby. The worst part is that after 3 years of praying to have a baby, now I am praying that my baby's heart stops beating...why is the world so cruel and unfair.

I literally don't know how much more I have in me. I feel like I am just barely hanging on...like I barely know who I am anymore. I have to go back on Tuesday for another ultrasound to see how things are doing. The bleed is around the other baby (baby A) and the problem with that is that the placenta may not be able to attach to the uterus the way it should because the bleed is in the way. So, I feel like we are not out of the woods with the other baby either. God can not take both of these babies away from me, I won't be able to handle it, I just won't.

I am sorry to have to post such bad news when you all have so much going on in your lives as well. I just didn't want you to think I up and left you all, I have been thinking about each of you every single day and praying that you will have a bfp and a much better journey than I am having.
all my love,
cmarie

Oh' my Goodness!!
I am so sorry to hear of your news. I am sitting here at work reading it, but not believing it and crying my eyes out for you. After so long of trying to have a baby, this cannot be happening to you. I just can't believe it and I am so, so sorry for you. Like IF isn't hard enough on a person's body and frame of mind, now you have to struggle through your pregnancy.

I will be praying so hard for you. I know God will help you through this. Just remember to keep looking towards Him and everything will be ok.

Continuing to pray for you,
Tabaya

Cmarie, my girl
I am in total shock to read your post. I just don't know what God has planned for all of us. I was thinking of you and yesterday thought of finding you at preggo board to drop a line. I'm so sorry to hear all this. I wudn't know anything on this but I do remember seeing progs on the Discovery Health about CONJOINED twins where woman delivered a baby with two head one body and they did manage to save a baby by doing some surgeries. Please do some research and am sure there will be a way out.
Meanwhile, we all will pray hard for you - God cannot make us suffer more than what we all already go thru on a daily basis.

Lots of love and a big hug
Golds

Cmarie, I don't know what to say. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out for you, hon. It's so unfair and you don't deserve this. I can't believe you have to go through this, as if infertility isn't enough. I know that we have no words to make this better for you, but we are all here for you. Infertility has made me a little cynical, so I'm not big on praying, but I'm definitely praying for you. Try to get some rest, you must be absolutely exhausted after such an ordeal. Sending you big hugs. :angel:

Torrie

Cmarie, I am so so sorry to hear what you are going through. I cannot even imagine what you and DH are feeling. I'm sitting at work crying my eyes out for you, and we have never even met, so I do not know how much worse this must feel to you. All I can offer are my prayers and my support. I do not know why these things happen. It is just not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you are dealing with SO much right now, but please please please keep us posted. And feel free to lean on us if there is anything we can do to help. We will always be your sisters. And we will always care and cry with you and do anything we can to help.

I am so so sorry. I would check into what Golds mentioned about saving one of the conjoined twins. I can't offer you any advice, I wish I could. You and DH will need to follow your hearts and do what you believe is best.

My heart and my prayers are going out to you. :angel: :angel: :angel:

Holly

Oh My God Cmarie! I am sitting here reading your post and tears are everywhere. i just don't even know what to say. It seems crazy that after all this IF stuff you still have worries. i know i don't have any knowledge about conjoined twins except for the shows on tv, but my question is, is there any way the babies can make it and be born and then have surgery? my heart aches for you. i know you must have been out of your mind with grief looking at the darn u/s machine. nothing can prepare you for what you are going through right now. please stay calm for the sake of those babies. they need you. they need your strength and perseverance. and they need our prayers so you can be sure each and every one of us after we stop crying for you will start praying for you with everything we've got. please try to rest up and know I am thinking of you.

Cmarie - I just wanted to send my thoughts and prayers as you go through this extremely difficult ordeal. I can not even imagine what you & DH are going through right now. I hope you can find strenght in each to get through this. I will be thinking of you!

Cmarie~

I am totally at a loss for words. My heart truly goes out to you right now. May you find the inner strength you need to get through this. I cannot imagine the pain your heart must be feeling right now-just remember you are in my prayers, and we are here for you if you need us.


(((HUGS)))

Laurie

Oh CMarie, I don't even know what to say. I wish all the tears I could cry would do something for you and those babies, but I know that is not the case. So I am going to pray very hard.... and I know God will help you with the strength you need to get through this. There is no answer, nor any advice that I can give you, but I want you to know that all of us on this board care so much about you and your babies. I wish we could be there to hug you and hold you while you cry and hold your hand through any more appointments. My heart goes out to you more than you may ever know. With much love and gentle (((hugs))),

Kari

Cmarie I am at a loss of words I just dont know what to say to u.The only thing I can do is pray for u and hope god will lead u to make the right decission.I cant imagine what u are going through right now so I will just pray for u DH and the babies.I am so sorry this is happening to u no one should ever have to go through this.My thoughts and prayers are with u and ur family.Please keep us posted we will be thinking of u constantly.

(((HUGS)))

Mapia:angel:

Cmarie, I know I can't say anything to make this better for you but my heart goes out to you and DH right now. After all you've been through, you deserve to have a happy and healthy pregnancy and not this. I really don't understand God sometimes and this is one of those times. It's not fair. You, DH, and those babies will be in my thoughts and prayers every day. We are here if you need us for anything.

Sending you lots of hugs & love.

Lori

Cmarie, I just wanted to let you know that my mom and the members of her church have added you and your family to their prayer list. My mom said that a friend of mine is having a very difficult pregnancy and needs some prayer. I will be thinking of you constantly and praying for a positive outcome.

Holly

Hi Cmarie,

I just read your post and I can't help but break down as I write you to. I just can't imagine what you must be going through when just the thought of what you are telling us brings me to utter tears and devastation. HOw much I wish you did not have to endure this after already going through so much. Sometimes is just make me so angry that my prayers for all the expectant mother's are not being heard!! But I won't give up. I often wondered how you were but now I will be doing full force praying that god will guide you and do what he thinks is the right thing. I just want to reach through the computer, hug you and cry with you. We care so much about you. Please know that we are ALL here for you. Sending you MANY MANY HUGS and PRAYERS. I love you to pieces and hope to hear some good news that will heal your heart.

When you can keep us posted on how you are.

kathy

CMArie

I just don t have the words to express how sorry i am that you are going through all this. It is just so unfair.
My heart and prayers go to you during this difficult time.
I wish there s something i could do to help out........so i ll be praying for you.

(((HUGS)))

AMy

I'm so sorry CMARIE-

I read your post on the pregnancy board and I posted already on there. I didn't see this one until just now.

I wanted to lend you my support. I will be praying for you. I know you must be so devestated right now. It just doesn't seem fair does it? I know there is nothing I could say that will make anything better. I've been going through a hard time this week too and I just keep telling myself that God must have different plans for myself than I have. Don't give up hope. Please keep us all informed as we are all so worried.

Carisa:angel:

CMarie,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I read your post at lunch time (didn't want to respond as I was at work), and I can't believe what is happening. I don't post too much, but I do read a lot (and learn a lot from all you wonderful girls). I am currently 8 wks pg with my first (m/c last fall @ 8weeks). Turned 40 last July so it's been kind of a rough road. Pretty much age related infertility plus hubby had some morphology issues. Did get pg (both times) the old fashioned way, why I couldn't before, only God knows.

Sorry, don't mean to ramble about myself, just wanted to let you know who I was. As a twin myself (my husband is also a twin), your story has extra special meaning for me. There's gotta be something they can do. This is the 21st century right? I'm praying some doctor has the answer for you. I'm confused though, did you say you were originally having triplets, that turned into a singleton and co-joined twins?

I wish you the best of luck, utilize these boards as much as you can, as they can be a great source of comfort.

I thank each of you for your kind words and prayers. This is probably the worst experience of my life and I appreciate all your love and support. I will keep you all posted and let you know how things progress.

Babyforus- Thank you for your post. That is so amazing that you and DH are both twins!!! I am pregnant with twins but what I meant was that had the embryo been able to split all the way I would have been pregnant with a a triplet pregnancy, not a singleton and conjoined twins. Does that make sense?

As far as the possiblity to save the baby they didn't give any hope of that being an option. Right now they don't know if the baby is sharing one brain or if there are two. After seeing the pictures on the ultrasound machine, DH and I couldn't imagine bringing that baby into the world knowing what it would have to endure and the small chance it would have to survive. I could not make it have to go through all the surgeries. I don't know if that makes me an awful person but I just couldn't do that to the baby. When I would see those shows on the news and Discovery channel about conjoined twins, my heart broke for those parents and more for those little babies, I just couldn't do it.

cmarie

Oh CMarie, you are not at all an awful person for not wanting your children to suffer. You are a kind and sensitive woman and mother who clearly wants what is best for her babies. I just today read an article in last months Marie Claire magazine about a woman who's child was diagnosed in the womb with spina bifida at only 4 months along and she had to make the agonizing and heartwrenching decision to terminate. My adopted mother had a birth son who was born with spina bifida and lived a very painful few years full of numerous gut wrenching surgeries and illness. My poor little step-brother died of course before I ever met him. I wish I could reach out to the woman in the magazine and tell her that I don't think she was awful for making that decision either. I just pray that God gives you the strength, and possibly the miracles needed to get through this with as little additional pain as necessary. You have been in my thoughts constantly today and I am going to continue praying for you and your family. Please let us know how you are doing and how things go on Tuesday. More (((hugs)))

Kari

No Cmarie, that does not make you a bad person at all. I completely understand your feelings on that. Nobody would want to see their child go through such pain. This must be a nightmare for you. I'm so sorry. I only hope and pray that your other baby is ok. What a wonderful gift that would be.

Carisa

Cmarie, I think anyone in your position would feel that way, and if anyone else dares to judge you then they are the horrible person. You have been put in an awful, heartwrenching situation and from this end, you are handling it much better than most would. I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs and support.

Cmarie, I completely agree. Nobody could blame you for not wanting to bring your child into the world only to suffer needlessly. At first I thought maybe if the drs had some hope for the conjoined twin, you might be able to try to save the little one. But I totally understand why that isn't an option. You are a wonderful person, and I don't understand why you are having to endure so much pain. You have touched so many of us on these boards. I too have been thinking of you all day and wishing there was something I could do to help. You, your DH, and your babies will remain in my prayers. I truly hope God will see fit to let your other little one come into the world strong and healthy. Comforting hugs coming to you.

Holly

Cmarie I agree too. Especially if the conjoined twins are sharing vital organs.
I am praying that God will give you the strenght to hold on i am also praying that everything will be ok with the other little one.

We are here for you

Amy

Cmarie no one has the right to judge u only god.I think what u are doing is very brave and I know god will guide u to deceide what is best.U are in no way shape or form a bad person.This decission is urs and DH alone no one has any right to tell u what is best for u.I will just pray for u and those babies.That is all I can do I wish I could do something more but I cant its all in gods hands now.

Mapia:angel:

Hi Cmarie.

You are so brave, so courageous. I know your head must be spinning right now thinking about everything. And i know only you and DH can determine what is right for your babies. i just wish I could help take the pain away. I feel just awful knowing you are suffering and I can understand how you wouldn't want your babies to suffer either. I sincerely hope that God gives you the strength to carry on and stay healthy for your baby, and that you can find the love and support you need. You are in my prayers every day and night.

CMarie,

Oh girl, bless your heart. I am so sorry for your news. You would never think that you would have to go through something so devastating in your life. How is anyone ever prepared to make such hard decisions. You know that your life is already going to change rasing a child,but how do you ever raise a child with such devastating disabilities. My heart goes out to you. I know it doesnt seem right to do what you mentioned to the conjoined twin,because to you its your sweet baby in there. But nobody judges you. You will know what to do when the time comes. I will pray for you and you sweet babies. Stay strong. All the ladies on here are so kind and loving. We will all be here for you through anything. My heart goes out to you...

Sincerley, April Key:angel:

cmarie,

I have not posted on this board yet, but have been lurking since my husband and I are finally going to start trying to conceive after 8 years of not getting pregnant on our own. I started crying, feeling your pain even through the computer screen. I will be praying for you and your family hon.

Terry

Hi CMarie
Don't even let these thoughts come near to you. You are a wonderful woman and am sure you and DH will decide the best for your babies. No mother would like to see their children suffering for rest of the life.
We are here for you always and will continue praying.
Lots of love
Golds

Cmarie,

Your thread brought tears into my eyes. I can't believe this is happening to you after how much pain you've gone through. I do remember you well during our struggle in IF and how the news of your BFP and twins really bring joy in the IF board and hope to those who were still struggling. I admire your strength and courage and believe whatever path you are going to take will bring more positive news to you and DH.

I will be praying for you.

Cmarie,
I don't visit these boards as often as I used to, so I just came across your post. Your most recent news really moved me and made me cry -- I'm so so sorry! I will keep you, your DH, and your little ones in my daily thoughts and prayers. You've dealt with more in the last six months than many people face in a lifetime. You are a strong and amazing woman -- and you ALREADY ARE the most fantastic mother. Lots and lots of love and hugs ... my heart goes out to you ... :angel:

Cmarie, just wanted you to know you've been in my thoughts quite a bit this weekend. Really hope you are okay. Sending more hugs your way. Hope to hear from you when you feel up to it.

Holly

Hi Cmarie,

I too could not get you out of my mind this weekend. I prayed and prayed for you that god will guide you and help you through such a difficult time. No one has a right to judge you, this is such a difficult position to be in that none of us know what we would do if we were in it either. I just hope that some good can come out of such pain and that you find strength in the friends you have here in all of us and with your friends and family at home. Sending you many many hugs and prayers.

Kathy

Cmarie, I am much like cubed and don't post very often these days, but I will occassionally slip on to see what's new with everyone. Your post not only brought me to tears here at my desk at work, but I believe your story is one that will haunt me and stay with me for sooo many more years to come.

I can't think of the words to communicate what I feel, but know that you are loved and will be in the thoughts and prayers of many known and unknown friends & sisters! I'm so sorry.

CMarie - I know you were supposed to have your U/S today and I want you to know that I have been thinking about you and there are so many of us who are praying hard for you and your little ones.... Praying you get some news today much more bearable than what was received last week. My thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you.

Cmarie thinking about u sweetie.Still praying hard god will give u some answers.Please let us know how u are and how ur u/s went.

Mapia:angel:

C MArie thinking and praying for you.

Amy

I'm also thinking of and praying for you and yours. Hoping today is much easier than your last experience with u/s. :angel:

Holly

Hi Cmarie,

I also am thinking of you today hoping you and Dh find strength and guidence during this difficult time.

((HUGS & Prayers))

kathy

Oh, thank you all so much for thinking of me and remembering today was my ultrasound. You all have the weight of the world on your shoulders with this infertility crap and yet you manage to remember me! I am so blessed to have you all in my life.

Well, we went and it seems like this nightmare keeps getting worse and worse, if that is even possible.

I will give you a little background...I have been bleeding (I mean blood has literally been pouring out of my since Friday morning) so I thought for sure I lost all the babies. Well, good news is Baby A (healthy baby) is doing wonderfully. The bleed that I had around it's sack is almost gone and that is why I have been bleeding so bad. He/she was really putting on a show for us dancing and moving all around. The little arms have hands and they were circling all around...it was so unbelievable. So that is the good part.

The bad part....I am now not considered to be having twins, but triplets because Baby B is really a conjoined twin. So all my paperwork is changed to triplets...can you even fricking believe that???? Baby B is now bigger so they can see very clearly that it is definitely two babies, but they are not sharing one body, they are two seperate babies connected in the middle and they are facing each other. They said that this is the worst type of conjoined twin because they are sharing one heart and possibly other orgrans. There are two sets of arms, legs, and two heads. I just can't even believe this. It is so sad because they are growing bigger and their little heart is staying strong at 167 beats per minute. My doctor wants me to see the specialist who will do the procedure that will make the babies' heart stop...and I could just die. I can not believe that God is having me face this after everything we have been through. They said that there is no chance that the baby would survive so I have no other real options. Plus like I said before, DH and I have decided we could not bring a child into the world knowing it would only suffer and go through pain and agony. So I don't have a choice no matter what way we look at this. I have to go and do this and I just don't know how I will do it????

I really am just devastated and feel like I don't have much more in me. They had to take blood today so they did out of my left arm. Then they realized that they had to take more so they did out of my right arm and my flippin vein popped!!!! So then they had to take the blood out of my finger...I mean come on, 3 pokes today!!!!!! The doctor had to rush in because I had passed out and the nurse couldn't get me to respond to her...what a fiasco!!!!

Well, I appreciate each one of you and your support from the bottom of my heart. I go back to my doctor on May 22nd for another ultrasound. I am hoping to get into the specialist in the next few weeks. I am 10 weeks and 1 day today and it feels like it has been 10 years!!!!
Love you all,
cmarie

Cmarie, I'm so sorry for your suffering. Life just isn't fair sometimes. During my first IVF cycle in 2002, I was preg with twins. Around 7 weeks I lost one of them and the feelings of conflict are just overwhelming. I was so grateful to have one healthy child, but still devestated over the loss. I'm sure your is even more compounded by your circumstances.

Hang in there, you are amazingly strong. Baby A will be a very lucky little baby to have such a great mommy. :angel:

Cmarie-
I wish I had something brilliant to say. I think you need to focus on the one healthy baby! That is great news!!! Have they given you their thought on whether they think that baby is going to make it all the way to the end now that the blood is coming out? I'm sure you are sweating bullets through all of this. I still think you are doing the right thing as far as the twins go. If the doctors don't think there is a chance, then watching them suffer would be torture for you and them. I wish there was another option for you. I've been thinking about you lots so keep us posted.

Oh, and sorry you poor thing had to go through all of those pokes and then to pass out. I think you will be able to write a book when this is all over.

Carisa

Oh CMarie, this for sure will be the most difficult thing that you will ever have to do, but you are going to get through it because you are a wonderful woman with the kindest spirit... and with the support of your DH, your doctors (who sound like they are taking care of you the best they can), and all of us on the board, I promise you will not go through any of it alone. You have a very healthy baby too that is so blessed to have a mother as strong and compassionate as yourself. I am so glad that the bleeding around baby A has diminished and I pray that all of your bleeding goes away completely as soon as possible. I am wishing you nothing but the very best during each and every step of this difficult pregnancy. My prayers and thoughts will be with you. (((hugs))) -Kari

Babies joined at the chest can be saved, especially if their heart is strong. I have seen several operations on TV where the babies were joined at the chest and successfully separated. Of course this matters if the babies have one heart or two but either way it seems like they could at least save one.
Anyways, just remember that there is always hope....it may relieve your mind to do some research on the internet or books to get a good idea of what you are going through or what other moms have already gone through. You might even be able to find a support group for mothers of conjoined twins...
I really hope it all works out ok. Will be praying for you.

CMarie,

Thanks for the update. You and your husband must be very strong people, I don't know if my DH and me could have watched the picture of your cojoined babies on that monitor and not fallen completely apart. The day I had to look at the monitor of my baby without a heartbeat (stopped growing at about 7 weeks last fall) was one of the worst days of my life. I know my husband took it very hard, though he did not cry that day, I was bawling, he was comforting me. But when he found out I was pg again, he asked me "so is it the same" I tried to finish the sentence with "sex". Silly me, I thought he was wondering if say we conceived a girl last time, if it would be the same this time or not. That's not what he meant. He said, "no is it the same soul". Typing that made me tear up. That's how I know he took it really hard. Sorry, don't mean to talk about myself when you are going through such a hard time.

I know it's of no consolation, but I am glad to hear the good news about "Baby A". Did they say what his/her hb was? Also, like the last poster said, maybe they actually can save one of the cojoined babies? I know, again no consolation, but I'm looking for the best possible option for you that I can!!

GL, and please keep us all posted.

Thanks girls! You have all helped me get through this and I know I can count on you through the rest of this journey.

Baby A's heartbeat is staying nice and high at 167 so that is good! They are very promising for the future of this baby so I am thankful for that.

The conjoined twins can not be separated, they are sharing the same heart and other internal organs. They said that neither one of the babies could survive. I have to just keep telling myself that. Each case of conjoined twins is different and unfortunately our case is not optimistic. They sought out advice from a high risk specialist and they did not give a different outcome. So I have to just find peace in this somehow, I am just not sure how????

Love to all,
cmarie

Cmarie, my heart goes out to you right now. I wish I had the words to make you feel better, but I don't. Do know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know that God is still watching over you, your DH, and your little ones, and I pray that He will give you strength and peace. He is still in the miracle business! ;) And remember, we are always here for you when you need us!

Kat

Romans 8:28

Cmarie,

OMG! i cant believe god would be so cruel after everything you have been through! im so so sorry to hear your news.Just the other day i was thinking we hadnt been graced with your presence for a while.Try to take it easy tho i know it will be hard
Im so glad at least you have had some good news altho i bet your still worried sick.

My thoughts are with you x

Cmarie, thank you so much for keeping us updated. You have been on my mind so much since last week. I am very happy to hear that the prognosis is good for Baby A. I hope that you can take at least a little comfort in that and know that all that you have gone through and all that you still have to get through is not for nothing. You are a mommy, and an excellent one at that. Your healthy baby is going to be extremely lucky to have you and DH as parents. As for the conjoined twins, my heart breaks for you, DH, and for them. I don't understand why these things happen, and I can't imagine the heartache you are feeling, watching them continue to grow and knowing that you cannot bring them into the world. It is so unfair. But it would be even more unfair to allow them to suffer. You are following your dr's orders and you are doing the right thing. As hard and painful as it will be, it is the right thing. I wish I could be there to cry with you and give you a huge hug. I hope that things get easier for you really soon. You don't deserve this.

Hugs and love,

Holly

Cmarie my heart goes out to you Hun. Firstly, I really want to thank god atleast for Baby A and for stopping the bleeding.
Doing something to your own babies would be a devastating thing to do but just remember you being a mom doesn't want to see your babies to suffer. You are not taking any wrong decision if we all would have been in your place, I guess our decision would have been the same.

Praying for you everyday.
Golds

Cmarie,

I posted on the other thread but wanted to post here too. I am so glad baby A is doing so well, you must be so relieved at that. Already as a mother you are having to make some hard decisions but I hope you feel comfort in knowing that this is not your fault in anyway, you did NOTHING wrong and you did all you could. Because you have. Don't forget that. This may very well the hardest thing you will ever have to go through in life and you have handled it with such strength. I really do admire you. I think of you many times through out the day and hope that you continue to have strength and that 7 months from now you will be holding that beautiful A baby in your arms!!!

with luv,

kathy

cMarie,

Oh my god...Like many other girls..I am here reading your post at work and tears are flowing from my eyes..I cannot even imagine how you and DH are feeling..I pray to god to help you and i am sure one baby will be fine...you definitely do not deserve any portion of this pain and i will keep you in my prayers.

cheers,
bluewhite.

Cmarie

My heart goes out to you during this difficult moment. Normally i am the type of person who thinks that theres a solution to every problem but sometimes it just doesnt work that way and we have to accept the things that we have no control of.

Praying for you .DH and your little ones..

AMy

cmarie -

I am at a total loss for words. I read your post a few days ago and I was so devastated for you, I couldn't even begin to know what to say in a post - although I still have no idea what to say - But I did want to let you know that I am thinking of you and that you and your babies are in my prayers. I am so sorry you are going through this - after all you have been through.

The only thing that I know is that you must rely heavily on your faith now more than ever. Though this is impossible to imagine at this time - you will get through this - you will be stronger in the end - and you are going to be a phenomenal mother!!!

Please keep us updated, know you are in our prayers and we are here for you!

All my love,
Ravae

If they are so sure the babies that are conjoined will not survive, what would be wrong with completing the pregnancy, meeting the babies and loving them until they do die? You would never have to deal with the "what ifs" because you saw it through to its natural end. Remember, the "procedure" to stop their heart is not without risk to Baby A, either.

Brocaillie-
If I were to carry all three babies until the end, knowing the conjoined twins would not survive, I would be putting the other baby at such a high risk. Triplets are born very early usually, around 29 weeks or so, that would make for such complications for the healthy baby. We have now had three doctors look at the scenario and all have given the same outcome, unfortunately no hope for the conjoined babies. I could not bring two babies into the world only to let them be in pain and die. I know the risks of the "procedure" and the specialist we are seeing is the best there is in doing these procedures. She has never lost the healthy babies so I have to trust in that. Obviously, everyone has their own opinion on the situation and to some I may not be doing the right thing, but DH and I agree that we could not do that to two of our children. I love both of those babies like I already know them and I always will remember them and love them.
cmarie

cmarie - You and DH are the only two who can make this decision. You have so much strength to put yourself out there and explain what has been going on in your lives. I can't even imagine all the emotions that you & DH have been going through. You, DH & those babies are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this painful ordeal.

We are all here for you!

hi cmarie. i havent been on in so long and i am just catching up.. i just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers, i could not believe this story when i first read it, it just made me tear up at work!! you are such a strong person to be going through this, but im sure you will always be able to see you 2 little angels in your beautiful baby's eyes .. they will always be with you im sure!! there is not much to say, but you know we are here for you. the decision you and dh had to make had to be tough, but im sure you know whats right for you and your fam, you seem to have taken everystep possible for the best outcome.. i will pray for those babies and your fam. please let us know how everything goes.. love aimee

CMarie,

I wish you well on your journey. I didn't post to upset you, as frankly it's none of my business. I just wondered if you'd considered the option and clearly you have.