i cant even find someone to be with, and it is driving me insane. anyone i meet and consider a "would-be" lover is usually already in a relationship, or is just not interested in me (for any number of reasons). this has been the case all my life. what do i have to do? where do i have to look?

Its the old old story...I presume you have tried all the usual sorts of things, like church, special-interest, social group things. I wish I could offer more help. All I can say is that if you re out there with your eyes and your mind open,there is always a chance...your person may be, even now, driving a Uhaul truck towards your town to settle in the next street...All the best hopes, Sera

I know this line is cheesy and old but I can't tell you how true it is. I will even admit I didnt believe it myself until it smacked me in the face.
Stop looking and it will find you.
I know sorry it is cheesy but very true. I wasnt looking and had actually sworn off relationships in general. Then I met this guy in a parking lot and he barely said one word to me. Hung out with his roommate that evening. The next day we met again and talked til 4 in the morning and the same thing the next day as well. Six months later we got married and that was 12 years ago. I know you arent looking for that kind of thing but neither was I. I honestly wasnt looking and it hit me whether I wanted it or not. So when you hear stop looking and it will find you it is advice that is very true.
Also try new things or places sometimes it is a matter of being in the right place in order for it to find you.

I wasn't looking when I met mine, either.

Stop trying so hard and it will happen for you.

I know this line is cheesy and old but I can't tell you how true it is. I will even admit I didnt believe it myself until it smacked me in the face.
Stop looking and it will find you.
I know sorry it is cheesy but very true. I wasnt looking and had actually sworn off relationships in general. Then I met this guy in a parking lot and he barely said one word to me. Hung out with his roommate that evening. The next day we met again and talked til 4 in the morning and the same thing the next day as well. Six months later we got married and that was 12 years ago. I know you arent looking for that kind of thing but neither was I. I honestly wasnt looking and it hit me whether I wanted it or not. So when you hear stop looking and it will find you it is advice that is very true.
Also try new things or places sometimes it is a matter of being in the right place in order for it to find you.


Yes, there are two schools of thought regarding finding a mate, one is the above, stop looking and it will find you. The other is that you have to approach finding a mate the same way you would approach finding a job, you have to get out there, put your very best foot forward, and pound the pavement and look under every rock and nook and cranny to find someone, leave no stone unturned. I have had trouble finding a mate as well, and I have been advised many times, even sometimes on this board, that it's because I'm not looking or trying hard enough. of course, no one follows me around with a camera and a notepad, so no one really knows just how hard I have tried except me. It sounds like you have tried hard as well. Personally, I have tried both schools, I have focused on other things and not been concerned whether I meet someone or not, and I have also attacked it aggressively like a job search, leaving no stone unturned. I must say from my own experience, the first way worked better for me. I met someone once when I had sworn off relationships. Even though it didn't last, I think it came when it was supposed to. I have become rather spiritual about it. We can pursue anything in life, a job, a house, a career, a car, moving to our ideal location, we have control over every aspect of our life, except when it comes to another person's free will. We cannot force another person's free will, and therefor cannot make someone love us or want to be with us. We can make ourself as lovable as possible, but in the end, it's up to the other person whether they want to be with us or not. And because it depends on another person's free, and therefor really out of our hands when it comes right down to it, I think the best approach is to let it go and trust God, the fates, the powers that be, whatever you believe governs the universe, that you will meet your SO if and when you are supposed to. Hang in there, chin up, I know it's hard. Good luck to you.

i don't really like that idea.

i don't really like that idea.

You mean you don't like the idea of it not being totally within your control? Yes, I know what you mean. I don't much like that idea either. Our society tells us all you have to do is work hard and you can get what you want. But it's just so true when another person's free will is part of the equation. Like I said, I know it's hard. I've spent most of my life alone. I'm 42 now, and I really loved someone once, about 10 years ago, but he just didn't love me back. Looking back, I really don't think there was anything I could have done to have made him love me or want to stay with me. I just wasn't what he wanted or needed. There was another man who was interested in me at the time, and although I didn't turn him down, I guess I wasn't as enthusiastic as I could have been when he asked me out and he thought I wasn't interested enough and never called me or asked me out. And another opportunity never came, despite the years and years of nights dressed up, getting my hair and make up done, hitting the clubs, the singles agencies and clubs, and every online dating service on the web. Now that I'm 42 and past childbearing and really have nothing much but the heart attack, menopause, enlarged prostate and viagra years to look forward to even if the man of my dreams showed up tomorrow, I just feel like I just missed my window and I was destined to be alone, as unhappy and sad as it makes me. I know within in my own heart that I have done everything I know how to do at the time, and was as open as I knew how to be. It just wasn't meant to be. All we can do is be the best version of ourselves that we can be, and be open to the possibilities and opportunities and that's really all we can do. Like the saying goes, "if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." I had planned to be happily married with a couple of beautiful kids by now, and it just wasn't in God's plan.

it's been over a year and NOTHING has changed. I don't meet girls anywhere - I go to school and have a job. No opportunities EVER come up. I gave it time and nothing happened.

Ebrady my guess is that it is probably your attitude. I have been with a lot of girls, probably over 40 or more. I suck when it comes to haveing an actual girlfriend because I get kind of needy and worried about them cheating. Nonetheless I am really now how to attract them. You have to have that attitude of haveing no-attachment to the outcome. Meaning anytime you approach a girl or start seeing a girl dont have any assumptions of to where the realtion is going. Don't show any signs of feeling of rejection or care if she ditches out on you. You really have to not care, but at the same time you have show her intent from a position of being a strong person. It is like saying to a chick "Hey I think you pretty cool and I like you but if you don't like me that is ok, I still now that I am awesome."

You don't want to be weak and needy which is like replentent to women.I used to think that when you don't go looking for it, it finds you. I think that works sometimes because you have the right attitude when your in that headspace. I think if you kind of combine the two...go looking for it, but haveing the attitude of not worrying if you find it or not. IF you are going to school(college?) you should have tons of oppurtunites. Well that is my perspective on the matter...I dont condone man pimpin, but if you carry the right attitude you should be able to get the girl that you want.

I go to college.

Opportunities like what? Everyone there is a stranger. I don't know anyone outside of my program. And if you say "well get to know people outside of your program" I will ask you "how"

Do you ever ''compliment a girl in your class?
if you have a perticualr girl you like that you think is nice and nice looking and maybe be fun to be with just ask her something like....> ''hello I've notice you sure have beautiful eyes I can see your b/f or hubby is a very lucky man'' your a very beautiful girl and excuse me for looking/starring ect,,,ect,,
when you look at her look into her eyes and say it with meaning don't make it sound like a pick-up line or that your just trying to score with her, be sincere, if she says thanks ...then thats your opening ...ask her how she likes the class or what does she do when she not in class or studying ect,,,ask her about her hobbies, are you in a realtionship, how many bro/sister in her family ask about her parents ect,,ect,,,...if she says to you other than thanks and says something like yeah right or thanks a lot...then simply walk away...she is not worth your time..believe me we all been where your at.

I met my first girlfriend jogging in a park...she slip and fell in front of me and I stop and helped her up and we sit on a park bench and got to know each other..she said she has notice me out here before I... I said the same to her but I figured she had no intrest in me what so ever I was surprised.
but we made that eye contact and I Believe thats what a female loves when you first meet them.

it's been over a year and NOTHING has changed. I don't meet girls anywhere - I go to school and have a job. No opportunities EVER come up. I gave it time and nothing happened.
haha, you sound just like me. i think its the way life is, we're not all supposed to have the same experiences. like me and LLM, this is just one area you're just meant to struggle with. like me, it doesn't have to stay like this forever. also doesn't mean you can't have a great life either.

from the sound of it, you're still in college...although you still have lots of time, i'd say that it really doesn't get much easier when you get out of college..in fact, it gets harder as your social circles tend to shrink. what you do have going for you is that you have time after work for other opportunities to do stuff with your time (hobbies, interests,etc.). this is where you meet people. please PLEASE forget the advice of grocery stores. unless lightning strikes or you look like an actor, it won't happen there or with any random person in public. it takes time. for me, i dance quite a bit now (because i want to, not just to meet women), and i do know lots of girls now, dated a couple, onto a third now but it doesn't look good, :(. so i finally landed one some time back. i didn't do anything differently. didn't apply any "techniques", didn't change my attitude..nothing. not sure why this girl like me and others before her didn't see my value, but whatever. some things you can't explain.

point is, lots of women are just not single. there's demand for women. there are men everywhere searching and chasing. girls have lots of options. in fact, there's an 80% chance whoever you're interested in is NOT single. most good women just aren't. its a fact of life. essentially you have to get lucky and you're timing has to be good. she has to be single and available, she has to like you, she has to be ready for a relationship, has to have no plans of moving away, etc...

to disagree with others, it has nothing to do with you. people like to assume everything is about them. its not. its not your attitude, or demeanor any of that. your attitude has nothing to do with them not being single or available or you not being their type. your attitude has nothing to do with no women being in your classes or in the activities you like or not running into you for a chance meeting. there are some things in life you just can't control.

i say just wait it out and get on with life and when its your time you'll get it. i eventually got it and i'm frickin' 30 (ok, no 40 yr old virgin for me, :D but for a while it didn't look good, haha..and to be honest its not all its cracked up to be anyway..not saying its not good though, ;) ).

hey ebrady,
I'm not so sure having a realtionship is a good ideal...women are hard to figure out now days believe me.

another thing I might add if you see a chick that you like and maybe would like to ask her out just ask...can't hurt anything,usally if a girl is in a realtionship most of the good ones will tell you and if there not interested they will just say no thanks..but berore you ask just pay that girl some attention...make small talk for a few days, ask about her hobbies and just act like your very interested in her for friendship...don't flirt cau allt hat willdo is just turn the girl off..just take your time in getting to know them..and if the chick likes you then she will let you know ..maybe you guys will have a lot of things in common and just afraid to move with it.

It don't matter where you meet a girl, it can be in a grocery store, bowling alley, walking park, Gym, chruch, school, or even a Bar but I don't recommend meeting a girl at a bar (not that thats putting women down) but...I hope you know what I mean,,...>your young enough now that you don't have to worry you have a lot of time to worry about women and when you do find ya one I hope it works out for ya.
usally in the least likely place is where you may meet the girl of your dreams.
Good Luck .

sorry just like to chime in again. I didnt mean to downput you saying it was your attitude. I am just saying there is a certain attitude to adopt that will get you girls easily. You know what all of high school and up until my seinor year of college I was horrible with girls...HORRIBLE. After main pains and anguishes I thought to myslef I am going to figure this out. Now look at me 3 years later I have been over 40 girls sexualy and probably 70 for folling around with. I probably can't give the best realtionship and I understand that probably a lot of people look down on me. But what I am saying is that you can do this. It is all about the way you present yourself. You have to convey good body language, lack of neediness, good tonaily in your vocie. Also the thing about a lot of women already haveing boyfriends is true. But that does not really matter. They are like monkeys they will not let go of one branch until they have a hold of another one. I am not advocating being a homewrecker either, but there are a lot of girls that are in the early stages of dateing that are still fair game for you to come in and be Rico Suave.
It really is a competition and until you realize that you are going to be left in the dust hopeing and waiting. I am probably differnt then most and I dont like wanting to sit around and wait for things to happen. Go for it. Talk to every single girl you see. Build the confidence. College is the best time. I wish I could go back honestly. I got better with girls after college but if I could go back now it would be glorious. Make it fun too. Set goals for yourself. First attempt talking, then go for flirting, then go for phone numbers, then go for dates..etc etc. It is like learning to ride a bike. You are going to fall and scrap yourself, but as you go along you will learn how to ride smoothly.

To answer you question on how to meet people out of your progam. For one try to meet people in your program. Just talk to people try to get something going for a friday night. Then try to join a co-ed sports team. Also I dont know where you live now but if your in the dorms you have tons of oppurtunites to meet people. IF you are off campus that is fine too, you just really have to talk to the people you are around..and just ask someone "hey looking to do something this weekend wanna grab a beer"? I don't know what your into, but maybe you could ask them to go boiling or darts or pool or whatever. Ask dudes, ask chicks. Try to find a gatekeeper. These are the people that have the social plug in and will get you in to everything. Well I wish you luck and ask anything else if need be.

My son is in college and met the nice young lady he's dating at, of all things, a dinner sponsored by the Japanese Club (we're not Japanese, neither is the young lady). She just happened to need a ride to the dinner and his roommate has a car. My son and this young lady hit it off. Now, he's never been involved in anything pertaining to the Japanese culture, it just sounded like something that might be fun to do.

Does your school have club events, musical performances, sports teams, etc? Attend some events. That's my recommendation.

in the highly unlikely chance that i see a girl across the room/down the hall/etc. that i might like but have never spoken to - what do i do then, hmm? answer that.

I'm not sure I or anyone can have the anwsers your wanting to hear?
All we can do is make suggestions to you..its up to you to do as you wish.

As for if you see a girl in the room or down the hall that you like and never have spoken to, well don' you think its about time you did?

all you need to do is be friendly, look to see if she is wearing a wedding ring...thats the first thing to look at, then look at her in her eyes go up to that girl and say hi, excuse me but we take the same class ....I just can't help to notice that your very beautiful, or just make some idel chit chat like about the weather ''it sure is a beautiful day or cold day'' whatever, if you have the time would you like to maybe help me with a little trouble in class I'm have a hard time with understanding (even if your not) just remember to be respectful and curtious, if she in interested she will listen to you and have some suggestion herself, now rather or not what she says back to you remains unknown until you ask... she may say things that you may not like...then thats the chance you have to take.
and don't jump right in and ask for a date or even ask to take her out , them kinds of things will have to wait until you guys start to be friends then things will take off for you..I'm sure.

some girls are very modest (shy) at first but if there comfortable talking with you then thats how to get things started, I look for the personality in a girl thats what gets my attition mostly and of course there beauty.

some girls initiate conversation but most of the time its up to us guys to get things started....just say whats on your mind , just remember to be decent and friendly but not overly friendly....even if its just a few words... Remember theres always other girls and theres always tomorrows.

Stop makeing excuses and just go talk to them, do you expect a girl just to knock on your door and want to start seeing you? Ask them what classes they take, it they want to study together. Yes things can happen by chance as it does to some people, but I think a lot of times you got put some effort into it. Good luck!

I feel like I every girl I see that I may be interested in is just teasing me.

This is leading to an inner hatred of women, to be honest.

I don't understand why this is breeding a hatred of women. You seem to expect girls to be mind readers and know that you want to talk to them and for them to make the first move. And when they don't, you get upset. That doesn't make any sense.

You're putting up a lot of your own barriers, which isn't helping, and you're shooting down everyones' suggestions. What exactly are you after here, if not suggestions?

The girls aren't the problem. The fact that you lack the self-confidence to walk up to them and start talking to them for any reason is the problem. That's the first thing you need to start working on resolving. Until then, you're not going to get very far.

ebrady why would you think that they arte teasing you? Ok granted some women do have a tendancy to play with a guy when they know they like them. Not all women are like that, and you don't want to hang out with a girl that is going to try to make you jump through hoops. On the other hand though they are always going to test your confidence. It seems to me like all women do this. If you feel like they are teasing you and give up then you are not going to get far. Just tell yourself in you mind that they are just testing your confidence and keep moveing the interactions foward. Don't worry if they seem into you than not into then into you again...you simply cannot care. Don't put any investment into the outcome. Watch some James bonds movies or some slick player kind of guy. You will notice that women always have like some token resistance or will play with a guy a little bit untill you get farther a long in the dance of seduction. So just don't worry so much and keep it going. Be persistant but not pushy. Be confident but not arrogant. Lastly just try to be happy with yourself no matter where any interaction goes. That is the best advice I can give. GOOD LUCK !!!

That's not what I meant.

I meant why even be insterested in someone when I more than likely have no chance with them. By these girls being around I just constantly feel like im being teased.

im getting very frustrated.

haha, i think i know what you mean. its just a mindset. don't look at them being around you as you being teased; look at it as you being given an opportunity. the very first thing you need to do, as has been said before is talk, but WITHOUT EXPECTATION. don't think of it as a means to the end goal which is obviously a relationship; you'll just get continued frustrations don't just focus on talking to the hot girls either; a lot of them just have issues anyway. don't rule out the average girls. they're often the best ones for relationships.

trust me, college is the easiest time to meet women. it goes downhill from there, :D. in your late 20's, most women become unavailable, even more so than you're experiencing now and most of the ones that aren't have issues.

Yeah listen to lance it gets worse after college. This is your prime time. The thing about hot girls is somewhat true, I have meet some real crazy ones. They get so wrapped up in thier image and the way guys only look at them as sex objects they get this kind of dark outlook on life.Look for like an 8 with intelligence and personality. Those are the best.

IF that is true, consider this: im graduating in a few months anyway.

from a quick read, here is a quick best guess

You have a very high opinion of yourself, that is good, you think you have many great traits to offer to someone...............hey, college educated ain't chopped liver.........a job...........another good thing on the list

You are at the dance in the corner watching everyone dance. And the longer you stand in the corner, the more it pisses you off, don't these people see me, notice me, i'm a good guy, i got lot's too offer, yet, no one comes over into the corner, and as time goes on in the back of your mind, your keeping track of all that you see, others having fun, and your not, and the hours and days tick by, tick tock tick tock

So, as each day passes you get more pissed off because you know opportnity to have fun has gone by, which pisses you off more, and still you stand in the corner.

that is my guess on how YOU FEEL

now the ohter folks at the dance, oh yeah, we saw you in the corner, we noticed you, yet, we all wanted too dance, as time went on we looked over in the corner and noticed you didn't look happy anymore, we saw that also, yet, we're over hear dancing or trying to dance

And do you know what we are thinking, man, when is he going to come over here and dance, there is nothing going on in that corner.

Now, as time passes, well we are all dancing, sometimes bad, sloppy, maybe a time or two we get it right and trip the light fantastic, and heck sometimes we bump into others and piss them off and get angry looks or words, hey, it happens its a dance, people are moving and grooving, things happen.

except now we are at the point few of us look over in the corner, why, well it's not because we are trying to ignore you, it's we all wondering HOW HOW HOW, how does someone stand there

so, the morale of the story is

everyone at the dance wanted you too dance, was wondering when you were going to dance, we were all over here dancing and you were over there not dancing

would you like to know a secret, none of us knows how too dance, no one taught us, no one said do this do that and it will all be perfect, when we dance lot's of times we have insecurities, we feel awkward and clumsy, and when we get off the dance floor and talk, we are all talking about how clueless we are all of dancing, and then the music starts and we go out and dance

we are exactly the same as you inside and out, the only difference is we are MOVING TAKING ACTION

nothing changes without taking action not one damned thing

so, here is what you do, the next time you are at the dance, ask yourself this question, What Can I Do To Be Happy.............................IN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES


and you keep on asking yourself that question while your in the corner, it will give you something differnt to think about, and one day you'll put on the tom cruise sun glasses, and say, some times you just gotta say wtf, and before you kow it you will be dancing

So, your question was HOW, that is how, that is exactly how, before you can act, you must change how you think

so, there it is, some random jack leg on a computer spent 15 minutes of hs life to answer a question you've bee seeking for a year

ask and ye shall reciive


of course only you can shake it

that is a great post actually, :cool:

I agree, great post.

You can't ask for advice and shoot down every suggestion and then expect things will change. You have to do SOMETHING, because doing nothing hasn't worked for you.

So you are in school for a few more months. Have you considered my suggestion about attending some events both within and outside your program? Like I said, that's how my son met his lady friend, and he's not exactly the Brad Pitt chick magnet type. He has a lot to offer though, and had to make this young lady aware of it so she would be interested. He talked to her, and it went from there.

Nothing will change if you do nothing to change. You have it in you, you just need to know it.

So? What if i spend the last few months of school doing everything i can and still nothing? if that were the case, how can you expect me to be happy after school when i keep hearing that it gets harder?

Also, Redneon, doing SOMETHING hasn't worked for me either.

Besides, I dont have ANY ideas about any outside events or interests that you're talking about.

So? What if i spend the last few months of school doing everything i can and still nothing? if that were the case, how can you expect me to be happy after school when i keep hearing that it gets harder?

Also, Redneon, doing SOMETHING hasn't worked for me either.

Besides, I dont have ANY ideas about any outside events or interests that you're talking about.
so exactly what's the objective of starting the thread again???

you're saying you have no interests whatsoever?? no basketball? flag football? chess club? fight club? (hey apparently they existed at my college, :D ) martial arts? foreign films? music? reading? language? arts? science? i'm definitely not suggesting starting anything solely for the purpose of meeting people but there has to be something out there that you like.

thank u lance and redneon, muchos appreciation of the kudos

I don't understand why this is breeding a hatred of women. You seem to expect girls to be mind readers and know that you want to talk to them and for them to make the first move. And when they don't, you get upset. That doesn't make any sense.

You're putting up a lot of your own barriers, which isn't helping, and you're shooting down everyones' suggestions. What exactly are you after here, if not suggestions?

The girls aren't the problem. The fact that you lack the self-confidence to walk up to them and start talking to them for any reason is the problem. That's the first thing you need to start working on resolving. Until then, you're not going to get very far.

I'm curious as to where you got the idea that I expected people to be mind readers and that I lack the confidence to "walk up to them and start talking to them"

In fact, in my experience I have found them to be unwelcoming and unappreciative.

Another thing, I'm not SHOOTING DOWN any suggestions, I'm telling you that I've tried these things and they have not yielded the results you're telling me that they will.

I'm actually curious, Watersigh, as to what your reaction would be if a guy started talking to you for no reason (keep in mind, he doesn't look like Brad Pitt and isn't rich)

I understand where ebrady's coming from, it's way easier said than done than all this gun-ho just "go for it dude" attitude. What are you supposed to do, just see someone walking down the hall and say "hello, you have very beautiful eyes, and it's lovely out..." 'Meeting people doesn't really work like that.

Sorry if this sounds offensive, but I’m saying this because I think you need to hear it. All this advice everyone is giving you sounds great, but every time you write back, I can tell that you are making excuses as to why none of it will work for you. And that is your problem right there. You have no confidence in yourself because you don’t know who you are, and therefore none of this good advice is going to work for you. I see guys like you all the time and I don’t date them – and not for the reasons you might think. Rather, it’s because they DON’T KNOW WHO THEY ARE. STOP WHINING. Get off your butt and start finding out who you are and what YOU enjoy, and learn to like yourself. Build real character. Become the person you want to be. Forget women for now and focus on developing yourself. Women will follow, I promise.

I'm curious as to where you got the idea that I expected people to be mind readers and that I lack the confidence to "walk up to them and start talking to them"

Because whenever someone has replied that you should just go and talk to someone, you have found some excuse why that's not going to work.

In fact, in my experience I have found them to be unwelcoming and unappreciative

I find it very hard to believe that every single person that you have ever approached for your entire life has acted that way. Maybe that is your perception because you do appear to lack simple social skills, but I doubt that every person every time has been that way for your whole life.

Another thing, I'm not SHOOTING DOWN any suggestions, I'm telling you that I've tried these things and they have not yielded the results you're telling me that they will.

Take a look at your response to everyone's replies. In every response, you have listed excuses why their suggestions won't work. That's shooting down suggestions. That's putting up roadblocks before you even get out the door. That's a large part of your problem. You refuse to get back on the horse.

I'm actually curious, Watersigh, as to what your reaction would be if a guy started talking to you for no reason (keep in mind, he doesn't look like Brad Pitt and isn't rich)

I don't care if he doesn't look like Brad Pitt and I don't care that he's not rich. Those aren't my qualifications for starting to talk to a guy, and it isn't for a lot of women. If that's your concept of what women are looking for in a guy then no wonder you're so lacking in self confidence! Most women are more interested in personality than looks or money. And since you seem to lack personality, then I suggest you work on that in order to be more attractive to women in general. Your looks and your financial status are way secondary to that. I don't get upset if an unknown guy walks up to me and starts talking to me. I say Hello and start talking to them. But I appreciate it more if he actually starts the conversation and asks me things instead of expecting me to lead the conversation, especially if he was the one who walked up to me in the first place.

I agree with digmusic.

As for what I said about them being unwelcoming and unappreciative, it's true.

I find it offensive when you make comments about my confidence, because you don't even know me. Human beings are not one-sided, and the side sitting at this computer that you think lacks confidence is not the side out there in the real world.

You don't know the things I try on a daily basis, so for you to say "you're just making excuses so that you don't have to try" is quite an assumption. Did you know that I tried to talk to a woman yesterday and she didn't care to talk back? No. Did you know that I tried to sit down next to someone who was sitting by herself and try to have a good time and gave me one word answers? No.

That's my frustration. It's easy to say "you lack confidence, let's move on" but that's not the case.

What I'm looking for is fresh ideas, what I'm looking for is actual things that posters have done and have worked, because I've done the "same-old thing" and that's not working.

On second thought, there's nothing that I want anymore.

Quite frankly, I believe that no woman is worth the amount of effort or thought that I or any other guy has put into this.

I am finished with dating.

On second thought, there's nothing that I want anymore.this is interesting; i could write pages on this but it would be threadjacking, :jester:

I am finished with dating.i think this is a good idea. you've tried everything that's been suggested and proved that it hasn't worked for you. you're right; women and dating is definitely NOT worth it if you're going to go through all this hassle and stress. it shouldn't be this way. now its time to discover some real passions in life that are fullfilling; and do this for YOU, not anyone else.

Kudos, brady, u are correct,

No one knows what u do, and that fact that u did this shows you have courage, you are not a quiter, which all great winners are also.

So, you got some gumption in there, pure azzed bravery in my book.

If you want, can u go into specifics about these encounters.

What I like about you is you are ADAMANT ADAMANT ADAMANT, about the HOW.

so, let's take it inch by inch, step by step,

specifics are important


here is a how that anyone can use, my best friend taught me this

at the dance, he spots a girl he likes, a good song comes on, he walks up to the girl and asks:

Do you dance?

not would u like too dance, but, do you dance

this kind of startles girls, cause they expected to be asked to dance, and would have too answer yes or no or start a conversation

my freind has a canned response for both yes and no

if she says, No, i don't dance, he says, cool, i do dance, yet i don't like this song, i was thinking if you dance we might dance later

now, if the girl says, Yes, she dances, he sames same thing, cool, i like too dance too, but i don't like this song, maybe we could dance later too a good song

and then he see's how it goes from there, if they make a connection

there is an art too small talk, especially with women, here is a big NO NO

women initially for the most part, are private and a tad suspicious of men, so never ever ask personal questions when u meet someone, never ever, not what they do for a living, where they live, blah blah blah

talk about something in plain sight of both of u, like here's one of my favorites if i'm standing outside, I will look up in the sky and go

"by gosh, it is a beautiful day"

okay, seems harmless and like a nothing, yet, anyone can take that thought and go anywhere they want, or just say, yeah, and u know there head is somehwere else





I agree with digmusic.

As for what I said about them being unwelcoming and unappreciative, it's true.

I find it offensive when you make comments about my confidence, because you don't even know me. Human beings are not one-sided, and the side sitting at this computer that you think lacks confidence is not the side out there in the real world.

You don't know the things I try on a daily basis, so for you to say "you're just making excuses so that you don't have to try" is quite an assumption. Did you know that I tried to talk to a woman yesterday and she didn't care to talk back? No. Did you know that I tried to sit down next to someone who was sitting by herself and try to have a good time and gave me one word answers? No.

That's my frustration. It's easy to say "you lack confidence, let's move on" but that's not the case.

What I'm looking for is fresh ideas, what I'm looking for is actual things that posters have done and have worked, because I've done the "same-old thing" and that's not working.

We'll see.

I'm not feeling very welcoming or tolerant of women right now.

I'm not feeling very welcoming or tolerant of women right now.

I'm not feeling very welcoming or tolerant of men right now.

:angel:

alright, we got some lift off, some success, here ebrady

an honest by god honest feeling

lot's of days i feel the same way i do about myself, and when i do, u can damned well bet rarely does anything good happen, so i just tone it down so not to make any big mistakes

keep trucking

I'm not feeling very welcoming or tolerant of men right now.

:angel:

Your opinion has been noted.

I'm not feeling positive that any woman would want me, at this point. I try to be myself and they hate me for it. I try to be what I think they want to be and I hate myself for it.

alright, we got some lift off, some success, here ebrady

an honest by god honest feeling

lot's of days i feel the same way i do about myself, and when i do, u can damned well bet rarely does anything good happen, so i just tone it down so not to make any big mistakes

keep trucking

and what success are you talking about?

........Well?

What if I try and try and no matter what I do, I still end up alone?

Well? (Read above message)