AZ24
05-08-2007, 06:32 PM
So, my dd is about to turn 13 months old. She has been using a pacifier since she was a month old. She doesn't use it throughout the day, but she does use it for naps and during the night.
My dh and I have decided we no longer want her to use it. Today I tried to get her down for a nap without using it. I tried putting her down our usual way (sitting in her room and rocking in her chair). She was really squirmy, so I decided to wait a little longer. I waited until she was good and tired, gave her a cup of milk and when she was done, I think she was expecting her pacifier. She started crying and was confused and frustrated. After lots of crying, I gave in and gave it to her:rolleyes: . She fell asleep immediatly! I took her pacifier out of her mouth and when I went to put her in her crib, she woke up and started crying because she didn't have it. So I put it back in her mouth and she was OUT!
I know I can't keep giving in to her if I want to take it away! Does anyone have any experience with doing this! I don't want nap and bedtime to be a big struggle!:confused:
What should I do??? She isn't old enough to explain to her that they are going "bye bye."
Please Help!:(
My dh and I have decided we no longer want her to use it. Today I tried to get her down for a nap without using it. I tried putting her down our usual way (sitting in her room and rocking in her chair). She was really squirmy, so I decided to wait a little longer. I waited until she was good and tired, gave her a cup of milk and when she was done, I think she was expecting her pacifier. She started crying and was confused and frustrated. After lots of crying, I gave in and gave it to her:rolleyes: . She fell asleep immediatly! I took her pacifier out of her mouth and when I went to put her in her crib, she woke up and started crying because she didn't have it. So I put it back in her mouth and she was OUT!
I know I can't keep giving in to her if I want to take it away! Does anyone have any experience with doing this! I don't want nap and bedtime to be a big struggle!:confused:
What should I do??? She isn't old enough to explain to her that they are going "bye bye."
Please Help!:(
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KeltoKel
05-09-2007, 08:37 AM
I don't think you need to take the pacifier away at her age. I believe she is too young. Wait until she is older.
I think it is great that she only needs it during naps. No harm done by allowing her to use it then.
I think it is great that she only needs it during naps. No harm done by allowing her to use it then.
Seraph
05-09-2007, 09:05 AM
Yes, she is too young to know anything except that her comfort is being taken away. Wouldn't you rather have a happy baby, than make a minor point?
athome1
05-09-2007, 09:14 AM
I don't really have much experience with pacifiers. Both my kids never really got one. I do have a niece and nephew who are now 2 and 3 years and still need to have theirs at naptime and bedtime. I think you still have a bit of time before you would need to actively try to take it away. I never wanted to even face the struggle, so I never used one with my kids. I know each child is different, so my next one who is due any day may be the one child who needs it! Good luck!
liloulou
05-09-2007, 11:26 AM
Gosh, I know I'll be in the same situation when my girl reaches your baby's age. She loves her pacifier to sleep with. It's like she's unsettled and lost without it. I'm hoping to take it away (slowly) starting at about 10 months or so... If you find a method, please let me know...
Good luck.
Good luck.
mkgbrook
05-09-2007, 11:50 AM
The making a slice in the sides of the bulb works like a charm.. don't take it away.. just break it so there is no longer a desire to use it.. do this to them all in a matter of days you will be pacifer free. This helped cure pacifier use in many a day care child.. and many of my friends and families children.
Good luck.
Sincerely,
MG
Good luck.
Sincerely,
MG
dizzygirl
05-09-2007, 12:40 PM
I also don't see what the big deal is, especially if your not out and about with it. I say let her use it for a while longer........it's not bad for them at all!
athome1
05-09-2007, 04:04 PM
The making a slice in the sides of the bulb works like a charm.. don't take it away.. just break it so there is no longer a desire to use it.. do this to them all in a matter of days you will be pacifer free. This helped cure pacifier use in many a day care child.. and many of my friends and families children.
Good luck.
Sincerely,
MG
That's a great idea! I'll have to tell my SIL's about it!
Good luck.
Sincerely,
MG
That's a great idea! I'll have to tell my SIL's about it!
mkgbrook
05-10-2007, 10:28 AM
As far as being bad.. it can be when they are mobile.. falling on it can knock teeth loose.. it can also cause warping of the natural bite in your mouth resulting in an over and underbite that will have to be corrected by bracers. I am not saying don't use a pacifier, but after 12 months and when they start walking it is recommended to get rid of it by medical practicioners and more.
Sincerely,
MG
Sincerely,
MG
AZ24
05-10-2007, 03:45 PM
MKGBrook, Did you give your baby(ies) a pacifier?
I definitely understand the pros and cons. I guess we just don't want her to feel so dependent on something. We know if we let her keep it, she isn't going to go away to college with it or anything, but we are afraid the longer we wait the harder it will get to take it away.
I definitely understand the pros and cons. I guess we just don't want her to feel so dependent on something. We know if we let her keep it, she isn't going to go away to college with it or anything, but we are afraid the longer we wait the harder it will get to take it away.
Seraph
05-10-2007, 10:47 PM
MKGBrook, Did you give your baby(ies) a pacifier?
I definitely understand the pros and cons. I guess we just don't want her to feel so dependent on something. We know if we let her keep it, she isn't going to go away to college with it or anything, but we are afraid the longer we wait the harder it will get to take it away.
The truth is almost exactly the opposite...when she is older you can do the "Aren't we a BIIIG girl now!!" thing, or substitute another comfort if there is any problem. At the age she is now, it simply her primitive urge to comfort herself by sucking...not psychological dependence. She will need it less and less as other things stimulate her.
I definitely understand the pros and cons. I guess we just don't want her to feel so dependent on something. We know if we let her keep it, she isn't going to go away to college with it or anything, but we are afraid the longer we wait the harder it will get to take it away.
The truth is almost exactly the opposite...when she is older you can do the "Aren't we a BIIIG girl now!!" thing, or substitute another comfort if there is any problem. At the age she is now, it simply her primitive urge to comfort herself by sucking...not psychological dependence. She will need it less and less as other things stimulate her.
prairie_dawn
05-11-2007, 09:51 AM
I agree it is there desire to suck that causes this. I have 4 kids,
ds12 had a pacifier and it always got dirty and what a pain i thought at the time. But at 18 months I said you have a choice either you get rid of the bottle or the pacifier he threw both so both it was and he was on just fine. Although he loved his blanket. Again one security for another.
When i had ds4 8 years apart from the first one i told dh that I wouldnt go through the whole do we have a pacifier for the kid, oh no where did it go. So we didnt give anything and we were just fine. UNTIL ds4 was 12months and started to suck his thumb and dh said ah dont worry about it he'll be fine it's only at night. I said no no no, but it was too late.. He is 4 and still sucks his thumb. He is a very inteligent child and be a lawyer at this age i swear. But he needs that security which has turned into a habit for him. HIs teeth are horrible and we do try to stop his sucking and it has lessened. If he is active he is fine but if he sitting doing nothing he sucks it(see its just out of habit at this point)
DDalmost 3 I said the pacifier it is but she didnt want it, she was my screamer though and my colic girl. She will put a paci in her mouth to joke but that is it. She also still likes her bottle though..I see no harm since it is only at home and she doesnt demand it. She likes her comfy stuff as well but she surely doesnt need the thumb thank God.
DD10 months uses a pacifier but if she doesnt have it she doesnt fuss too too much. she will scream for it but once you let her fuss 5minutes she goes down. I dont mind giving it to her since again I'd rather it be a pacifier then a thumb.
I do think she is too young to have it taken away from her. As long as you know that she shouldnt be older with one then youre fine. give her a bit more time. its great she only uses it at nap/bed time. I would recomend that you make sure not to give milk and let the milk sit in her mouth once she gets teeth, that can rot her teeth.
Good luck with your little one
ds12 had a pacifier and it always got dirty and what a pain i thought at the time. But at 18 months I said you have a choice either you get rid of the bottle or the pacifier he threw both so both it was and he was on just fine. Although he loved his blanket. Again one security for another.
When i had ds4 8 years apart from the first one i told dh that I wouldnt go through the whole do we have a pacifier for the kid, oh no where did it go. So we didnt give anything and we were just fine. UNTIL ds4 was 12months and started to suck his thumb and dh said ah dont worry about it he'll be fine it's only at night. I said no no no, but it was too late.. He is 4 and still sucks his thumb. He is a very inteligent child and be a lawyer at this age i swear. But he needs that security which has turned into a habit for him. HIs teeth are horrible and we do try to stop his sucking and it has lessened. If he is active he is fine but if he sitting doing nothing he sucks it(see its just out of habit at this point)
DDalmost 3 I said the pacifier it is but she didnt want it, she was my screamer though and my colic girl. She will put a paci in her mouth to joke but that is it. She also still likes her bottle though..I see no harm since it is only at home and she doesnt demand it. She likes her comfy stuff as well but she surely doesnt need the thumb thank God.
DD10 months uses a pacifier but if she doesnt have it she doesnt fuss too too much. she will scream for it but once you let her fuss 5minutes she goes down. I dont mind giving it to her since again I'd rather it be a pacifier then a thumb.
I do think she is too young to have it taken away from her. As long as you know that she shouldnt be older with one then youre fine. give her a bit more time. its great she only uses it at nap/bed time. I would recomend that you make sure not to give milk and let the milk sit in her mouth once she gets teeth, that can rot her teeth.
Good luck with your little one
mkgbrook
05-11-2007, 11:23 AM
MKGBrook, Did you give your baby(ies) a pacifier?
Yes, I only have one child. I hope that despite being labeled infertile I can prove them wrong once more one day soon. Yes, I tried the pacifier.... REALLY tried.. he never took to it. And given is colic, allergies, sleep issues, and very loud scream capacity we wanted the pacifier to be a cure all. At the age of 2 months, my son decided it was alright for teething, but hades would descend on us if we tried to make him suck on it and stay quiet. He preferred being held and rocked. He cut his first two teeth at two months and they came in monthly after that. Teething really sucks. My son was always a chewer never a sucker, if that makes sense. He would flip the passy around and teeth for all he was worth. I knew I was in trouble when at six months he would call the dog by name and get the dog to share his chew toys. We went through the "GOD.. Ball!, versus DOG, Ball.. and in a matter of a few days he was hollering Bear, Ball!". Those two were not easily separated. Now I am fighting the finger nail chewing battle, which his dad and PGF do! I swear nail biting is hereditary. We oh so wanted to stop the crying with a pacifier.. but he would give us this how dare you shove that in my mouth look and spit it out.. and scream louder.
I am not saying pacifiers are bad.. only that after the majority of the front teeth come in they should go to minimize problems with mouth development. As far as dependence, well my nieces and some of my friends children went ape when they tried getting the pacifiers out at 2.. also they were slow at developing proper speech because they would talk around or not at all due to pacifier use. When family/friends let the pacifier use continue after the age of one it was almost four before they were able to break the habit completely. In the mean time, we had two teeth incidents from face plants while playing with pacifiers in the mouth and two have already been told they will need to have braces. to correct over and under bite formation. We tried to get them to take to an animal or blanket or other device to satisfy the need for security. They wouldn't have any of it until we broke the pacifiers, and told them no more.
In the experience of my family, we have found you have a slim window to get rid of the pacifier easily, or you are stuck with it for a long hall. We have two daycare/preschool operators and owners, MD's.. Ph.D's.. engineers.. scientists.. RN's etc. Or school owners and directors carry a lot of weight with us. They would see a 30 - 100 new children come in a year and the problems of removing the pacifier after the age of one. They discovered breaking the bulb to be the best way to transfer to a new security/comfort aide and/or just make the kid toss it all together.
My son's security items blankets (any fleece one will do), my hair, and since the age of six months he has had to sleep with a car in each hand.. (first the mega block ones, then the hot wheels ones). If we tried to remove them after he was asleep he would wake and scream. How can it be comfortable to sleep on a car? I can not understand that need personally.
Respectfully,
MG
Yes, I only have one child. I hope that despite being labeled infertile I can prove them wrong once more one day soon. Yes, I tried the pacifier.... REALLY tried.. he never took to it. And given is colic, allergies, sleep issues, and very loud scream capacity we wanted the pacifier to be a cure all. At the age of 2 months, my son decided it was alright for teething, but hades would descend on us if we tried to make him suck on it and stay quiet. He preferred being held and rocked. He cut his first two teeth at two months and they came in monthly after that. Teething really sucks. My son was always a chewer never a sucker, if that makes sense. He would flip the passy around and teeth for all he was worth. I knew I was in trouble when at six months he would call the dog by name and get the dog to share his chew toys. We went through the "GOD.. Ball!, versus DOG, Ball.. and in a matter of a few days he was hollering Bear, Ball!". Those two were not easily separated. Now I am fighting the finger nail chewing battle, which his dad and PGF do! I swear nail biting is hereditary. We oh so wanted to stop the crying with a pacifier.. but he would give us this how dare you shove that in my mouth look and spit it out.. and scream louder.
I am not saying pacifiers are bad.. only that after the majority of the front teeth come in they should go to minimize problems with mouth development. As far as dependence, well my nieces and some of my friends children went ape when they tried getting the pacifiers out at 2.. also they were slow at developing proper speech because they would talk around or not at all due to pacifier use. When family/friends let the pacifier use continue after the age of one it was almost four before they were able to break the habit completely. In the mean time, we had two teeth incidents from face plants while playing with pacifiers in the mouth and two have already been told they will need to have braces. to correct over and under bite formation. We tried to get them to take to an animal or blanket or other device to satisfy the need for security. They wouldn't have any of it until we broke the pacifiers, and told them no more.
In the experience of my family, we have found you have a slim window to get rid of the pacifier easily, or you are stuck with it for a long hall. We have two daycare/preschool operators and owners, MD's.. Ph.D's.. engineers.. scientists.. RN's etc. Or school owners and directors carry a lot of weight with us. They would see a 30 - 100 new children come in a year and the problems of removing the pacifier after the age of one. They discovered breaking the bulb to be the best way to transfer to a new security/comfort aide and/or just make the kid toss it all together.
My son's security items blankets (any fleece one will do), my hair, and since the age of six months he has had to sleep with a car in each hand.. (first the mega block ones, then the hot wheels ones). If we tried to remove them after he was asleep he would wake and scream. How can it be comfortable to sleep on a car? I can not understand that need personally.
Respectfully,
MG
dizzygirl
05-11-2007, 01:06 PM
The truth is almost exactly the opposite...when she is older you can do the "Aren't we a BIIIG girl now!!" thing, or substitute another comfort if there is any problem. At the age she is now, it simply her primitive urge to comfort herself by sucking...not psychological dependence. She will need it less and less as other things stimulate her.
I agree completely. I also have reservations about cutting the paci. This sounds very dangerous, I would never try it.:nono:
I agree completely. I also have reservations about cutting the paci. This sounds very dangerous, I would never try it.:nono:
neshee
05-11-2007, 02:52 PM
I guess I am going to go against most of you (not to be that way, but) and say that I agree that ending the paci at 12 months is the right thing. My DD was never a huge fan, but LOVED it for sleeping. On her first birthday, I tried her without it. It was about a 2 week process of gradually taking it away. With anything you do, it takes time. If you really want her rid of it, then you need to work at it. Yes, it will probably take some hard work, determination and stress, but in the long run it will be better. I would suggest finding something to replace it. A blanket or stuffed animal. You can also put something sour on the nipple if cutting it doesn't work. Okay, so I say this b/c I see 2+ year olds (one as old as 6, yes 6) with one. It drives me crazy and it is just wrong. Okay, off my horse. You do what you feel is right, b/c you are their mom. That is all that matters. You are the one to deal with it, just be sure you know what your consequences are in the future, LOL!:)
athome1
05-12-2007, 09:21 AM
I tried the pacifier as well when they were newborns, but took it away quite quickly (5 months). They really didn't need it, so I figured it was best just to take it away. I guess I should be worried now that my kids might seek out professional help when they are adults because I may have scarred them for life?? LOL I will do the same with my next child. To each their own. If my SIL wants her son to walk around in public at the age of 4 with his pacifier, fine. I really do not care. BUT, I think that those who do take it away need not be criticized for taking it away. I have let me kids cry it out in their crib on occasion and so on. This does not mean that my kids will be emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives.
It is the parents decision. Unfortunately when a mother wants an opinion on such a hot topic, I find many people get their panties in a twist.
It is the parents decision. Unfortunately when a mother wants an opinion on such a hot topic, I find many people get their panties in a twist.