Hey folks,
My one question is: Low risk or no risK? If i give unprotected oral sex but not to the point of making him ejaculate.

I'm a 28yo male who has only ever had unprotected sex with long-term girlfriends who are still good friends and who i fully trust.
That is... apart from one time...
About two years ago, while single, my curiosity got the better of me and i hooked up with a male couple (mid to late thirties). They were a pretty high-risk couple of guys; they seemed very promiscuous and not too interested in safe sex.
At the time I thought I was being overly cautious, almost to the point of insult. I gave head to one of them but pulled out well before any ejaculation. The rest of the time we just kissed.
That was 2 years ago exactly, and It had always been in the back of my mind, but i just figured the chances were ridiculously in my favour. But...
my silly fears were reinforced by a couple of things...

1. I was sick about a month after that night. Fever, had to stay off work, but it only lasted <1 week.
2. Up until 4 months ago i have been healthy, but in the last 4-5 months i've had independent throat/bronchitis infections roughly every 1-2months.
3.The last month has been dramatically worse. I am extremely tired during the day- find it hard to summon the energy to do daily chores. I've been getting a recurrent sore throat which comes just for two days then re-appears a week later.
AND i've developed some mouth problems which seem to be related to hiv- angular chelitis (cracked mouth corners)- i've never had this before and was a bit shocked to see it listed as an early sign of hiv. Also my gums have started to bleed. Waking up in the morning with blood in my mouth is also something quite new to me!

Anyways, I'm trying to convince myself that it's all paranoia and that i have NO chance of being infected... but i really do understand people scared of being tested. Man... that would be frightening. Especially, if i had that done now, i'm not prepared to deal with bad news like that- i think i'd go nuts!

Sorry about the ramble. I've found it reasurring reading other posts and finding many people like me. I know the ultimate answer's going to be "get tested" and i ordered the self test kit today- enough's enough! But i dont know if i'll be prepared to use it once it arrives.

sounds like a low risk to me. chasing symptoms is a waste of time, the only sure way to know is to get tested. as said you know the answer, good luck with your test

Anyways, I'm trying to convince myself that it's all paranoia and that i have NO chance of being infected... but i really do understand people scared of being tested. Man... that would be frightening. Especially, if i had that done now, i'm not prepared to deal with bad news like that- i think i'd go nuts!

Ok here is the deal.

I am not quite sure whether you have used the home test kit or the results but please listen to what I say to you.

Like you I was terrified of being tested, I held off, I made excuse after excuse to put it all off. I on one hand wanted to know but on the other hand feared knowing. What you are going through is perfectly normal, it is understandable. Everybody fears the worst, everybody builds up a mental picture of what is going to happen, how their world will suddenly come crashing down, when they are told the worst.

I really do know, I painted all sorts of horrible scenarios in my mind, they will not go away, and it heightens your sense of anxiety.

Let me say; honestly that getting tested was possibly one of the most nerve-racking events I ever went through, along with the wait afterwards. But you need to know, you need to find out one way or the other what your HIV status is, this is the only way to ease your mind. If you are concerned at all about your status it is of paramount importance that you find out what it is.

Either that or you simply continue to torture yourself, looking for signs and symptoms, continually self examining yourself and allowing your mind to run riot, playing out all sorts of dreadful scenarios.

Getting tested is definite, the results are absolute. From what you have described, although nobody can second guess the outcome of anybodies blood test, it is unlikely you have been infected with HIV. The only way to be absolutely certain is to get a blood test, symptoms alone are never a reliably indicator of your status.

OK, to put your mind at rest, as I have already said the odds are stacked greatly in your favor, getting tested will allow you to move on, put it behind you and breath the air again.

Please, do not do as I did, please put aside your fear of being tested, it is the only way to be sure.

Take care Kevin

Thanks so much for your reply Smitelier and Kevin!
Yeah I know I'm being a bit silly and there are a lot of posts similar to mine up here. SO thanks for the well-wishes and taking the time to reply. I'll get the test soon, and it will be scary but a good thing to know.
All the best!
Tim