For the past few years i noticed i have become angrier with the ones i love the most. I will never shout or be 'mean' towards any of my friends - im always the quiet one, but when i get home the littleiest thing can trigger me to shout and be angry. I dont know why - im trying to look behide what could cause it, but im really coming up with nothing. I hate myself for it. I will throw horrible, disgusting comments at my mum and put her down - when she goes out the room i will feel very guilty abouit it. I do have issues with myself - but i seem to throw it on to her.

For the past few years i have been secretly - meaning no diagnosis or anyone knowing about it - struggling with what i think is Social Anxiety and OCD. Do you think these have any contributing factors? I just hate the feelings afterwards, i know as soon as i say it i will regret it - sometimes i may get pleasure out of it at the time, but i know i will feel guilty after that.


Thanks for ANY insight at all.

Hi Laura,
It's likely that you are accumulating little angers about many little things throughout the days and, being nice and not getting angry, the anger energy builds up. Then, you let it out on the person with whom we feel the safest, usually a spouse or parent. You need to learn to express your anger, frustration, upsetness when it happens at that time. You can do that respectfully and responsibly - you don't need to fly off the handle. That's what happens when you let it get stored up inside you.

Part of the issue may be the social anxiety and you may have difficulty expressing your upsetness to others which then causes it to build up. Nonviolent Communication is a good approach to communication and it's something you might want to do a net search on and get some information about it. It might be a way to help you with your social anxiety. OCD could also contribute because you may be obsessing on some little frustration that happened last week, but each time you think about it, it adds to the weight of it until it's a burden. And then you unload that burden on someone close to you. Then you feel guilty. And then you obsess about that guilt which adds to the burden. Meditation can be helpful for that. Do a net search on mindfullness meditation and see what you can find out.

Exercise can also be helpful...

Hope that helps some...

For the past few years i noticed i have become angrier with the ones i love the most. I will never shout or be 'mean' towards any of my friends - im always the quiet one, but when i get home the littleiest thing can trigger me to shout and be angry. I dont know why - im trying to look behide what could cause it, but im really coming up with nothing. I hate myself for it. I will throw horrible, disgusting comments at my mum and put her down - when she goes out the room i will feel very guilty abouit it. I do have issues with myself - but i seem to throw it on to her.

For the past few years i have been secretly - meaning no diagnosis or anyone knowing about it - struggling with what i think is Social Anxiety and OCD. Do you think these have any contributing factors? I just hate the feelings afterwards, i know as soon as i say it i will regret it - sometimes i may get pleasure out of it at the time, but i know i will feel guilty after that.


Thanks for ANY insight at all.


Wow... I can hear my mother say, "Don't keep things bottled up inside; they'll gush out and before you know it, you've got a dam you can't contain!"

Fire has an excellent "eye" in seeing this.

I see people do this all the time. They get angry and offended at other people, but they say nothing or act as if it's "not a big deal."
But when they get around family, they're just a ball of fire! Angry and mean all the time, looking like :mad: but so nice to those who treat them in an ugyly manner :) all smiles all the time. :nono:

I truly believe that people take things out on family because, as Fire said, they know what family will and won't do.
A person knows family loves them and won't do what a stranger would do if they acted out on them.
Some people take advantage of that. Sometimes a wake-up call is needed.:wave:

Laura, did you say that you weren't diagnosed with social anxiety disorder? Did you say you were privately seeing a doctor, or you think you may have the symptoms of the disorder?
If you haven't seen a doctor, see one and start working on constructive ways to address the things that bother you through out the day, so that you don't take out your frustrations on your family and/or spouse.
They have feelings too, and they hurt when you do it. :angel:

Next thing you know, they'll be alienating themselves from you because they don't know what mood you're going to be in from one minute to the next; and you'll start wondering why no one wants to be around you. :dizzy: