i'm new to this forum, jsut found it at 4.30am this morning, whilst wide awake worryinng, and deciding teh best people to talk to are those who have been through it.

i'm 29 years old, and last sep, ahving had regular 3 yearly smears i got my first abnormal.

i was refered to the hospital in november where i had a coloscopy an dbiopsy,a nd when i got a letter saying there was nothing wrong,. and that they would just see me again at the hospital for another smear in 6 months i breathed a sigh of relief.

the initial coloscopy i'd hated, three tranies, plus the doctor, ina room,a nd my otehr half fro moral support for me. i'd crie dteh whoel way through, even told the gp i couldnt ahve the needle for the biopsy, thos oon discovered havinga lready signe dthe consent papers i had littel choice.

i didntw atch any of it on tv, unliek my other half.

anyway after i talke dit all through with my friend whos a paramedic. so i was already prepared fro needing three all clear smears with teh hospuital befor ethey'd take me off teh risk list and let me go back to my own gp.

so yesterday i tootled off to teh hospital alone, thinking it wa sjust a standard smear.

soon as i felt the sensation tho i knew that they were abt to do abnother coloscopy.

i stuipidly opened my eyes saw the tv tehnm turned away an djust creid all over agaoin.

they said the cells hadnt fixed themselves, so they did a smear, and sent it off, and alot will depend on teh outcome, tho i aint holding out for much look of an all clear thsi time.

theyd idnt do a biopsy this tiem but said if they arent clearing next time, or if the smear shows otherwise, iw ill need to return,a nd i may have to have them treated by lazor.

im scared silly to eb honest.

i have never had children and was just starting to think of a family when i found outa bout this, and well now i dont knwo if i could go through it atall.