hi
i find myself scared, don't want to do anything, wanting to cut. i had to drop out of school because my grades weren't salvagable by midterm. i tried my best i just couldn't do it. so here i sit, feel like crap, haven't showered in over a week, haven't changed my clothes and don't eat much, i also sleep on the couch, for some reason i don't want to sleep in my bed. yesterday i had a feeling like i was going to pass out. it seems nothing works out for me. i feel empty and numb. maybe i am just whining and feeling sorry for myself. i've had trouble in the past with severe depression, almost died by OD.
i'm just not sure. i see my therapist tomorrow and i'm embarresed and ashamed and would rather not tell her what's going on.

what do you guys think??

Jenn, you have to tell your therapist everything.

do you know what, my mum doesn't really believe I am suffering from depression, or she dosent think I am that serious, so she just simply thinks I am LAZY, and had a go at me over the weekend, and she nearly 'killed' me. I was sitting in my room for a long time holding a knife thinking how to kill myself, but glad I didn't do it.

I totally understand how you feel, I have not been able to fully function at uni since the begining of the term, which was 5 weeks ago, and I have done nothing for my project so far, so you are not alone.

The only way to help yourself is to be absolutely honest with your doctor, counsellor, therapist or whoever is working with you, if you feel like hurting or killing yourself, tell them. I took my doctoe what I wanted to do over the weekend, and she gave me advice what to do if I have the same kind of thought again. So I guess you have to be honest with them in order to help yourself, I knwo it's hard and might be embarrassing, but remember they probably see people like us everyday anyway, so there is nothing to be embarrassed of...

I know it's east to say, but hard to do, but try...

I agree with the others, please tell your therapist exactly how you feel. I completely understand, because sometimes I wonder if I have just turned Lazy or if it is the depression. It makes me so miserable, so I spoke up and presently my meds are being changed.
Please don't be embarrassed, you are not alone!!!
Hugs

Hi I just wanted to put my two cents in here. I am recently feeling severly depressed and have had trouble with depression on and off through my life. Mine right now is based on stress.

BUT I did feel like this once lazy and couldn't do anything, like get ready to go out etc... Have your thyroid checked first if your dr. hasn't checked it already. Just in case....

I am not saying that you aren't in depression, but if it's your thyroid it can be controled by synthroid. It doesn't hurt to rule it out.

I've had both so I always check my thyroid when I get another bout of depression. I am waiting on my test results from the dr. right now.

hi
i find myself scared, don't want to do anything, wanting to cut. i had to drop out of school because my grades weren't salvagable by midterm. i tried my best i just couldn't do it. so here i sit, feel like crap, haven't showered in over a week, haven't changed my clothes and don't eat much, i also sleep on the couch, for some reason i don't want to sleep in my bed. yesterday i had a feeling like i was going to pass out. it seems nothing works out for me. i feel empty and numb. maybe i am just whining and feeling sorry for myself. i've had trouble in the past with severe depression, almost died by OD.
i'm just not sure. i see my therapist tomorrow and i'm embarresed and ashamed and would rather not tell her what's going on.

what do you guys think??


Jenn,
you're not LAZY -- you're depressed.

Talk to your doctor/therapist and make sure you let everything out.

Also, are you on some meds for your depression? You know, depression is also about chemical imbalance.
Stay on your medicine and make your appointments w/your therapist. Don't skip them; if you do, please see to it that you reschedule.
You have to make it where you're functioning properly, and if you don't discuss things w/your therapist, how are you helping yourself? :confused:

Take that step and call the doctor/therapist immediately.

Jenn, I don't believe you are lazy either. Nor do I believe you are just being whiny and feeling sorry for yourself. A lot of what you described are things that I have felt many times. To a small degree I feel some of them ALL the time.

I hope you're able to work it out with the help of your therapist. Good luck and take care!

I'm 27 now and have been on meds since around 21, but I always remember there was a point when I was 18 where I dropped out of my first semester of college, I would stay up until early morning and be sleeping through the morning to the evening. Another time around 20 I went through a break-up and started cutting myself and never felt like I could go on again and just laid around. It seems like laziness, but it's depression...depression makes you have no motivation and just drains you.

As much as you are feeling horrible now, you have to remember you can get help and have happier times. I still suffer from depression, but the meds really help me not go through severe episodes. Please go see a therapist and tell him/her everything.

Hi,

I agree with everybody else you really need to be honest with your therapist and say exactly what is happening and how you are feeling. That has been my problem on a couple of occasions I was not honest emotionally and I kept things back about how I was feeling because I was too embarrassed that is why it never worked and it keeps coming back I havent dealt with it properly.

Just let it out if you can - I know that it is easier said than done - dont I just. But I am going to try again and try to be honest and open and hopefully begin to mend.:angel:

I agree with everybody the best thing to do is talk open to a therapist tell him/her everything you feel believe i did and it was the best thing i have ever done.I was raped and left for dead when i was 15 my family didn,t want anyone to know about it so i was never aloud to talk about it.Then when i was 17 i met a man i thought i could trust,we moved away and for 3 years he locked me in the house and beat me and take ladys back and have sex with them and i was made to watch.I was only aloud out my room for meals.Then i got pregnant so he beat me until i was bleeding bad and the baby died, i had to get rushed to hospital.When there i mananged to phone my dad who drove 500 miles that day to get me.I blocked this out my head for 20 years as i could not deal with it and nobody would help me.My doctor said i had to go see a therapist so i did and i felt my life had been lifted from me after i could tell him everything.I felt great am now married to a wonderful man who i can talk to about anything if i get down.I have suffered from depression for 4 years but am controlling it and if things get bad i will go back to my therapist because in my opion its better to talk to someone you don,t no its seems easier.

Galbraith, what a story of hell and survival!

Galbraith, what a story of hell and survival!

It was hell but as i see things now there is so many people out there with bigger problems than mine so am lucky really.

thank you so much for the feedback. i am on meds for depression, have been for a long time now, after taking years to find the right combination.

i did see my therapist and told her everything and part of it is i am lonely. i planned to see my family last weekend, then decided to stay a week. i feel better now, having people to talk to and things to do like working in the garden.
but what to do when i go back? i know i need to get resumes out so that is one of my goals. at least my depression isn't worse, i just wished i would feel better like i did awhile back, no depression at all. stress seems to trigger it. but there are so many things i've started and not finished, it was too hard, or i was depressed...or whatever excuse i could find. but i know i shouldn''t be too hard on myself, most people with severe clinical depression can't function at all. i don't know, i just feel lost and confused as ever.

thank you again for your feedback, i hope everyone is feeling at least a little better. we all are amazing people., never forget that.

hugs to all
jenn

Jenn, it sounds like you have made some changes and are trying and it helped you to feel somewhat better. Keep up the good work so that you can keep seeing/feeling improvements!