ok i have a really bad anger prooblem:blob_fire ,,i cant help it though i try the magic methods taking a deep breath or talking to someone but it dont workk,,,if my mom starts talking about the past and its over with i go crazy and get so pissed :mad: ,,i really dont mean to but it happens and my sister knows how to press my buttons and does a good job of it to:dizzy: im tired of getting so pissed at the stupidest things:eek: i need advise i know ppl are going to say counsiling but i might get mad at that too :confused:

Everyones buttons get pressed its how wed eal with it. You need to learn with the help of a expert how to deal with having your buttons pressed..

[FONT="Century Gothic"]well i guess its the only choice i got but ill try nothing hurts to try,,,[/FONT

Amber, buttons are simply issues that we haven't settled in our minds yet. These issues are easily solved if you just talk about them and get them "right" in your head and release all of the emotions associated with them. Are you going to get some counseling do you think?

ok i have a really bad anger prooblem:blob_fire ,,i cant help it though i try the magic methods taking a deep breath or talking to someone but it dont workk,,,if my mom starts talking about the past and its over with i go crazy and get so pissed :mad: ,,i really dont mean to but it happens and my sister knows how to press my buttons and does a good job of it to:dizzy: im tired of getting so pissed at the stupidest things:eek: i need advise i know ppl are going to say counsiling but i might get mad at that too :confused:

Why are you so angry? Why does your mom go in your "past"? Is it something that you're still dealing with and she keeps throwing it in your face?
That's painful!

I know you don't want to hear the "go to couseling" bit, but it may help you.

As far as siblings go, at one time or another, they will "push" their siblings' buttons. That's what they do.
If you react to it, they'll keep doing it b/c they know it's effective.
If you DON'T react to it, they'll know they've lost the power to irritate you, and that makes them miserable! :D

But try going to counseling. It may help you more than you know. :)

They are able to get to you because they know you and they know what gets under your skin.

I'm 36 & my mom still is able to get to me...Why do they do it? Who knows? Some people just like to see other people miserable. My mom is never happy so I think she wants to see me unhappy too.

I finally got to the point where I am pretty much writing her out of my life. I am much happier without her. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have made but I can't be around someone who is living to make me miserable...

They are able to get to you because they know you and they know what gets under your skin.

I'm 36 & my mom still is able to get to me...Why do they do it? Who knows? Some people just like to see other people miserable. My mom is never happy so I think she wants to see me unhappy too.

I finally got to the point where I am pretty much writing her out of my life. I am much happier without her. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have made but I can't be around someone who is living to make me miserable...

Geez, Madison, sometimes you have to do what you have to do to keep yourself going.

I'm 36 and my mom still is able to get to me...
Your mom should be trying to have a good relationship with her daughter. This is just wrong.

My mom is never happy so I think she wants to see me unhappy too.
That's truly sad.

I finally got to the point where I am pretty much writing her out of my life. I am much happier without her. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have made but I can't be around someone who is living to make me miserable...
Wow. What can you say?
Maybe one day she'll wake up and realize what she's done.

:dizzy: well my mom is an asddict and she is hardly ever happy i wish she was ,,maybe then i will be happy ,,,but u know she wasnt thier to take care of me around age 12,13,14,15,i never knew wat it was like to have a good supprotive mom ,,,i think thats why im always mad

[/QUOTE]I finally got to the point where I am pretty much writing her out of my life. I am much happier without her. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have made but I can't be around someone who is living to make me miserable...
Wow. What can you say?
Maybe one day she'll wake up and realize what she's done.[/QUOTE]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not likely. I think she has some kind of mental problem. Definitely OCD (she's a cleaning fanatic and hates when anything is moved from one of her little displays--of junk). She is also a packrat. She still has clothes from the 70s and 80s that she refused to throw out. Her house is cluttered to the point where even finding a clear spot on the kitchen table is impossible.

She never graduated high school, never had a job and has nothing to look forward to in her life. She turned her back on me when I left my abusive ex-husband because she thought the family should stay together no matter what (even if he hits you....:dizzy: )...I just don't get it...

She also has this habit of asking friendly questions and then the minute you leave, calling all the relatives and telling them my business. I am a private person and I don't like people to know certain things going on in my life but somehow, all of my relatives know every little detail. She is just a busybody and if I am going to keep my sanity, I need to stay away from her. My sister finally learned her lesson also and is starting to be come more distant from our mom.

well my mom is an asddict and she is hardly ever happy i wish she was ,,maybe then i will be happy ,,,but u know she wasnt thier to take care of me around age 12,13,14,15,i never knew wat it was like to have a good supprotive mom ,,,i think thats why im always mad

Amber, not having the mother that you DESERVE would make anyone unhappy or angry. I didn't have a good mother, either but I had to work with what I had, not what I wished that I had, and now I have a really nice life after working through all of my issues (through therapy of course, which I see you feel negatively about).

You cannot wait until your mom is happy for you to become happy because you might not ever be happy then. You need to take your life into your own hands and figure out how your upbringing affected you and then make changes in yourself in order to overcome the effects from your mother.

Your sister might just be irritating you to deal with her own frustrations. Keep posting.

I finally got to the point where I am pretty much writing her out of my life. I am much happier without her. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have made but I can't be around someone who is living to make me miserable...
Wow. What can you say?
Maybe one day she'll wake up and realize what she's done.[/QUOTE]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not likely. I think she has some kind of mental problem. Definitely OCD (she's a cleaning fanatic and hates when anything is moved from one of her little displays--of junk). She is also a packrat. She still has clothes from the 70s and 80s that she refused to throw out. Her house is cluttered to the point where even finding a clear spot on the kitchen table is impossible.

She never graduated high school, never had a job and has nothing to look forward to in her life. She turned her back on me when I left my abusive ex-husband because she thought the family should stay together no matter what (even if he hits you....:dizzy: )...I just don't get it...

She also has this habit of asking friendly questions and then the minute you leave, calling all the relatives and telling them my business. I am a private person and I don't like people to know certain things going on in my life but somehow, all of my relatives know every little detail. She is just a busybody and if I am going to keep my sanity, I need to stay away from her. My sister finally learned her lesson also and is starting to be come more distant from our mom.[/QUOTE]


Madison,

You're mom has some very serious issues to deal with.

That OCD tells it all! She has to be in control; she can't/won't let go of the past. She really needs help, but she probably doesn't think anything's wrong w/her.

All you and your sister can do is what you're already doing: keep moving on.